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mariolaszyszkiewicz · 8 months

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AKT strzelisty- Intronizacja Chrystusa, Króla

-O Jezu. -Pisz, co widzisz. -Jestem na ulicy. Nie widzę siebie na razie. To stare kamienice. Miasto. Wzrok kieruje się do przejścia , wyjścia z kamienicy, starej Warszawskiej, gdzie cały dom jest na planie kwadratu, z jednym wspólnym podwórzem . Nie wiem, ,jaki to czas. Jest późne popołudnie, słońce zachodzi, ale.. - Posmutniałaś. -Chyba zaczyna do mnie docierać rzeczywistość. -Widzisz gołębie? - Ale to jest inne miejsce? - To i nie to. Gołębie zbierają się przy tobie. Podchodzą do ciebie. Jeden kuśtyka. Ma zwichniętą łapkę. -Są oswojone , dlatego podchodzą.

-No dobrze , nareszcie się uśmiechasz. Widzisz jak młoda Para, obrzucana jest pieniążkami, jak je zbierają? - Widzę, no i co z tymi gołębiami?, -Raz uciekają , furkają w popłochu i podrywają się gremialnie do lotu... - Uciekają? -Niee. Raczej wzbijają się do lotu . A raz są zziębnięte, struchłałe i podchodzą, wyciągają dzióbki, dziobną Cię w palec. Tam w tej kamienicy, przy wyjściu z podwórza na ulicę, młoda kobieta, idąca przede mną, odwróciła się. Zobaczyła mnie. A ja jestem stara , zgrzybiała, mam cienkie, siwe włosy . Reszta ludzi mnie mija. Kto by się chciał zajmować starą kobietą, żyję z jałmużny , Ktoś litościwy nieraz rzuci mi jakiś grosz. Z tego żyję. Dziękuję skinieniem głowy i dalej odprawiam swoje czary, swoje gusła, swoje zabobony. Oglądam swoje włosy , które są stare, oglądam swoje zmarszczki . Ubrania są zamierzchłe, ręce mam pomarszczone, zgrzybiałe. . Siedzę tutaj, na razie nikt mnie nie przegania. To dziwne, ale ta idąca młoda kobieta stoi i patrzy na mnie patrzy Zapatrzyła się na mnie. Tylko nie wiem, czy w moją starość, czy w moją nędzę. Patrzy na mnie. Zastygła. Tak jakby mężczyzna , niewidoczny dla moich oczu stanął za nią i odgarnąwszy jej włosy ramion, , delikatnie dotykał palcami jej zagłębienia w jej szyi i szeptał jej coś do ucha. Musi to być coś interesującego, Moja starość się zdegustowała. Nie ma sie czemu przyglądać. Próbuję si zakryć przed jej świdrującym spojrzeniem . Niech tak na mnie nie patrzy. Ale co mogę zrobić? Starość wypełza ze mnie jak zgnilizna, wszędzie ją czuć, jestem jak potwór z bagien. Wszędzie czuć ten odór starości.

Ale mnie z tego powodu nie płynie łza po policzku . Niech tak będzie. Mnie wyschły łzy. Mój świat zaginął. Nie ma go ani w rzeczywistości, ani w filmie. Ani tym bardziej w roziskrzonym oku tej kobiety Czemu wciąż stoi i patrzy Jestem bezradna. Zaczynam znowu żyć swoim żebraczym. Może w końcu znudzi się i odejdzie. CDN

#portret #miłość #x

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lotus19751215 · 5 years

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#東畑開人『#居るのはつらいよ』読み終わりました。あくまで学術書としてみた場合の語り口の斬新さは、デイケアという特異な場所を語るために必要であったとのこと。 . 個人的な体験や想い出に引っ張られ過ぎましたが、その分濃密な読書体験でした。 . 贈ってくださったSiw先輩、ほんとうにありがとうございました。 . 想うことはたくさん。ぼくもちゃんとデイケアの人たちとお別れしたかったな。 (一月後の辞意を伝えたら、見せしめ的にその日に馘首されたので。) . 「昨日もおれデイケア来たの？」と同じ話の繰り返しが多い健忘症のCさん(記憶もリセットされる、まさしく『デイケア的人物！)に、「来世はねこになります」というようなことを話したら、「じゃあおれが養ってやるよ」と言ってもらえたことを、なぜだかぼんやり思い出します。円環する時間。 . . #東畑開人 #居るのはつらいよ #珈琲 #カフェ #カフェ巡り #ブックカフェ #キッチンカー #移動販売 #移動ブックカフェLOTUS #精神保健福祉士 #PSW #キッチンカーズ #くる食 #キッチンカーズライフアイドゥ #くる職 https://www.instagram.com/p/BvPXbWqlEIO/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1a545w58aveh0

#東畑開人 #居るのはつらいよ #珈琲 #カフェ #カフェ巡り #ブックカフェ #キッチンカー #移動販売 #移動ブックカフェlotus #精神保健福祉士 #psw #キッチンカーズ #くる食 #キッチンカーズライフアイドゥ #くる職

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truths33k3r4 · 3 months

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Can I offer you a turble in these trying times??

OH MY HEAVENS YES YOU MAY, ALLY MY DEAR FRIEND!!! I love this so much!!! Thank you!! 😊💙

I love your OCs face she’s so cuuuute!!! 😁 And dear Lotus looks so lost 🤣

( ok, I know I told you I was heading to bed, but I saw this before and HAD to say something immediately ) 😁

… Now I have to draw something in return HAHAHAH 😏 Oooooh time to get ideassss

~ Melissa

#thank you my friend!!! :)#SIW Lotus #TMNT fan art #tmnt #my version of tmnt!!#the strength in weakness #THANK YOUUUUU 💙

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truths33k3r4 · 3 months

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CHAPTER 19 - Silent Connections

Raph walked through the tunnels with a determined expression etched on his face. After hearing some kind of angry outburst ignite from the Medbay, he quickly raced through the halls to see what happened.

As he arrived to the door, he took a moment to.. compose himself.

‘ Mikey can smell emotions from a stinkin’ mile away.. Gotta get this stench OFF. ‘

Raph hurriedly brushed off the last remains of his tears, wiping his somewhat damp hands in the pocket in his hoodie. As his hands went to work to erase any signs of moisture, he took two slow, deep breaths.

‘ It’s all good. I’m good. ‘

With one last quick exhale, he turned the knob.

Entering into the Medbay, he happened upon two of his brothers displaying a look of disappointment only a mother could emote towards their youngest brother who, as always, did not give a care in the world.

And then his eyes landed on Lotus; Awake, exhausted, and annoyed Lotus. Her expression of exasperation nearly made Raph recoil into his shell.

‘ Yeeeeeeesh! An’ I thought I looked terrifying when I’m mad.. ‘

“ Mikey, what- … what the heck are you doing?… “

The youngest brother’s eyes fell upon Raph, and for a second had a sense of worry glazed over. His eyebrows raised the smallest bit, as his breath hitched for just a second. But that glimpse of surprise and concern was quickly covered up by his famous smile.

Mikey gasped in offense, planting his hand on his plastron with as much drama as possible.

“ Le GASP. Oh, dear brother, how you WOUND me! I was just checking in on Lo! “ Mikey retorted.

“ - Don’t call me that. “ Lotus deadpanned.

Mikey somersaulted over the surgical table, earning him a startled gasp from Lotus, as he landed down in front of Raphael.

Mikey looked up at his older brother, surveying his face for any signs that would answer his walking out earlier.

Mikey’s sky blue eyes connected with Raph’s brown-

… and green?

This was the first time, Mikey realized, that he’d truly seen Raph’s change up close.

The first time he laid his eyes on what those horrible scientists did to his brothers.

Back when they all returned to their home that morning with Lotus, he had noticed something.. different… about the twins. Besides the obvious bruises and scratches, there was something else that was off that he couldn’t put his finger on.

Now he saw it up close.

He turned his face to Don’s direction, squinting and focusing on the purple-clad twin’s eyes.

‘ Brown….. and blue. ‘

As Don noticed the unrelenting gaze of his youngest brother on himself, his eyes darted, and his hand rose to his chin, forming into a “ surf’s up, dude “sign. ( ASL for “What’s the problem?” )

Mikey didn’t answer, but instead just turned his face back to Raph’s.

The youngest brother knew how each of his siblings worked, how they would convey their emotions, and how they would communicate their feelings.

Mikey knew Raph absolutely despised talking about his feelings. The guy couldn’t even say the word without voicing a verbal groan. So, with this information, Mikey used a different technique to check on his crimson-clad brother:

Silence and pats.

( Over time, the two brothers silently created a code that helped them to communicate their emotions. The physical touch would help ground each other, and the lack of stress from not needing to speak helped to clear their heads. They fully relied on the code and their expressions to speak for them. )

Mikey slowly reached to Raph’s arm, gently grasping it between his fingers. He let a small grin grow on his face, not showing any teeth, but at least trying to bring some comfort to his big brother.

tap tap *

Raph let out a sigh as he calmly placed his hand over Mikey’s.

tap *

Mikey kept his eyes on Raph’s as his grin grew to his signature smile.

“ Glad you’re ok now, bro. “ He whispered.

Raph shrugged, pulling his mouth into a line, but not breaking eye contact.

“ I’m good, little bro. No need to worry. “ He whispered back, as he planted his hand on Mikey’s face, pushing him away playfully.

Mikey giggled under the palm of Raph’s hand, then stuck out his tongue, barely grazing the skin.

Raph yanked his hand off, shaking off the little bit of spit.

“ - BRO. AGAIN????? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? “

“ I AM WHAT YOU MADE ME, DUDE. “ Mikey joked, as he used his hands to gesture to himself. “ This is all your fault- I wasn’t born like this.”

“ I beg to differ, “ Don piped in, raising a pointed finger in the air, “ you have, indeed, always been this melodramatic and grotesque since birth. “

“ Yeahhhh.. You kinda have, Mikey. “ Leo said, smiling sheepishly and shrugging his shoulders. “ You used to spit in Raph’s face just so he would chase you around the lair. “

“ Uh- YEAH. Every youngest brother knows which sibling gives the best reactions! It’s an art really~. If Raph didn’t want me to gross him out, he should’ve not reacted so hilariously. “

Raph gave a dry snicker as he spoke through gritted teeth, “ - It ain’t gonna be so funny when I punch you straight in your- “

“ Guuuys. “ Lotus almost whimpered, “ I can’t sleep if you don’t shut upppppp.. “

All the brothers turned to see the female mutant now sitting up on the surgical table. The light teal crescent markings near her eyes did nothing to distract from the obvious shade below. Even as she was sitting, her arms were unsteadily shaking trying to hold up her weight.

Leo’s posture straightened as he transformed back to “ Medic Mode”. “ She’s right. She needs sleep… Alright everyone! Clear out! “ Leo began to gesture shooing away his brothers, making Mikey and Don exit the room as he approached Raph.

“ Think you can take her back to bed? It would probably be best for her to get off the surgical table.. That thing is dang uncomfy. “

Raph nodded and began to walk to Lotus, but was stopped by the sensation of Leo’s hand grabbing on to his right wrist. Raph tried as hard as he could to not wince from the quick jolt of pain on the tender area. ( Leo was already stressed as it is with ONE patient. As soon as he finds out how many cuts and bruises Raph and his twin had he’d earn himself another stress chasm. )

“ Hey. “ Leo whispered.

Raph turned around, failing to squint his eyes a little from Leo’s grip tightening on the faded scars.

“ ….You good, dude?..”

Raph pushed down all the pain that was attacking his nervous system, and put on his best “ I’m fine“ voice.

“.. Yeah, man. I’m good. “

Raph tried to walk past again, but stopped once more with another tightening squeeze on his wrist.

This time Raph couldn’t help the small yelp that escaped his mouth.

‘ Please don’t notice. Please don’t notice. Please don’t- ‘

Leo’s eyes tightened to an alarming degree.

‘ - CRUD. ‘

“ What was that- You squeaked- You don’t squeak, that’s not a thing- “ Leo’s tone changed from confused concern to downright interrogation in a matter of seconds.

“Raphael Kisho Hamato. ARE YOU INJURED? “

Raph’s eyes darted to all possible exit points in the room.

‘ CRUD! CRUD! CRUD! ‘

That's it for this chapter!! :) Besides the first chapter of this story, this is the only time all the brothers and Lotus have appeared in the same chapter! ( With Lotus conscious that is ) :) And mannnn did that bring it's own problems! ;) This chapter definitely took longer than most, just cause I had to figure out a good amount of dialogue, but once I got on a roll, ( and took a much needed mental break ) it all clicked into place. :)

If you liked reading this story, please feel free to share it and reblog it. :)

To God be the glory!!

Masterpost <- PRIOR CHAPTER NEXT CHAPTER ->

#tmnt #my version of tmnt!!#the strength in weakness #angst #angst comfort #hurt/comfort #SIW Leo #SIW Raph #SIW Mikey #SIW Lotus #siblings

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truths33k3r4 · 3 months

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CHAPTER 21 - Lost Control

The silence of the hallway did nothing to relent the growing noise in Raph’s head. Over and over, he replayed the past 5 minutes of his fight with Leo.

‘ He’s never done this before.. It’s always “ You should’ve known better! “ or “ WISE UP, RAPH!”... And what the heck did he ask me.. AGH! STUPID BRAIN- Stupid. Stupid. STUPID. ‘

However deep he scraped into his mind, Leo’s words to him still remained hidden.

And it was driving Raphael mad.

‘ A question.. He had his brows up… It was a question- Ok what would he ask??....

Uh maybe “ Can I look at your arm? “... ‘

Raph’s cheeks softly warmed at the reminder of the pitiful squeak that escaped his face when Leo grabbed his sore arm. Despite the embarrassment of the memory, Raph let out a small smile. Even though Leo had been so angry with him, as soon as he knew Raph’s arm was in pain, he relinquished his tight grip. And then later switched to Raph’s left arm.

‘... Even when he’s as angry as me… He’s still above me. ‘

The times his oldest brother’s temper made an appearance were far and few between. Even when they were kids, when Sensei’s patience was on its last breath trying to recall the names of his four sons, he resorted to calling them “ Shizukana “( Tranquil ), “ Kisho “ (Temper), “No” ( Brain ), and “ Hanten” ( Spots).

Sensei knew what he was doing when he called Leonardo “ Tranquil”.

For as long as he’d kept watch over Leo, the little mutant always carried a soothing calmness to the chaos of the family. Whenever the brothers got into their usual tussles, Leo would quietly waltz into the room, pause and listen to both sides of the argument, process and discern who was in the right, and going by his judgment, grab and pull the instigator into a separate room to Sensei.

Somehow at a very young age, Leo carried a maturity only a senior person could hold.

And then…

.. there was Raph: The one who instigated the most.

The one who could never control the burning fire flickering in his heart…

… The one who hurt his brothers.

“ Mmmmnghhhh… “

Raph jolted at the sound of Lotus’ quivering voice. He looked down at her, cradled helplessly in his arms. He had forgotten he was even carrying her… It only felt like he was carrying Sensei’s thicker robe, or maybe a 8 year old Mikey.

He was somewhat used to the sensation from years of carrying his brothers.

There were times growing up that training became far more draining, leaving Raph carrying a very exhausted Mikey to bed, or a sore Don to his beanbag chair. But Leo never allowed someone to carry him. Even Sensei. No matter how physically spent he felt, he’d much rather drag his heavy feet and aching limbs to his bedroom on his own, than risk such humiliation. He was the oldest, and therefore he had to be the strongest.

‘ “Weakness isn’t a trait a leader should possess. NOT EVER.” ‘

Raph found it ironic when Leo stepped up as Team Medic at the age of 15. How the heck can someone be so good at carin’ for others when he’s so bad at carin’ for HIMSELF??? Leo was always the one to come running when one of the brothers scraped their knee, or twisted their ankle, or whatever. The brothers would joke that he slept with the first aid kit under his pillow.

.. How can that same brother get caught with blood all over his hands alone in the dead of night?

How can that same brother be found with an ice pack over his dislocated shoulder?

How can that same brother ask Raph to never tell his family about any of it?

‘.. At least I know when to ask for help..Sort of..’

Raph looked down, escaping from his memories, to study Lotus.

Her breathing had finally slowed down to a normal pace, and her eyelids fluttered and winced.

Now that he was holding her, he got to really see all the scars and bruises plaguing her body up close. Her skin was so pale. And the insides of her arms were bruised with black and blue. He could feel her bones nearly poking through her thin skin.

‘ This girl’s really gone through heck and back..’

Raph walked slower through the hallway, flattening his feet to make less movement so as to not disturb Lotus. With all the bruises and cuts, he knew to be more careful with his jostling movements.

He also realized, while focusing so hard to not move Lotus too much, that he was now squeezing her limp body up to his plastron. He could feel the small breaths rise up in her chest and then extinguish with a faint sigh.

They were way too short.

Normally a deep breath would last about two seconds.

Her's weren’t even lasting one.

‘ Gotta make sure to tell Leo about that..

Ughh… After.. I apologize, that is….’

As Raph arrived back at the brother’s bedroom, he noticed his youngest brother in bed laying on a pile of dirty clothes reading comics. Mikey gave his brother a small look, but then shot up when he saw who Raph was carrying.

“ Awwwww Raph, you’re a big softieeeee~” Mikey cooed as he reached to grab his phone.

Without skipping a beat, Raph immediately grabbed his lone sai left on the ground and chucked it full-force about 3 inches away from Mikey’s snout. Mikey let out a startled gasp, covering his nose with his other hand, and looked back at Raph with his eyes bugging out.

“ I WILL END YOU. “ Raph mouthed with the fierceness of a lion as he shone his sharp fangs to Mikey. “ PUT THE PHONE DOWN. “

Mikey paused for just a moment, contemplating if it would be worth it to retaliate.. But the look of barely- contained seething anger in Raph’s eyes made him rethink his choices.

But consequences have never stopped Mikey.

SOMEHOW- AGAIN- In the span of a FLIPPIN’ MILLISECOND- Mikey swiped up his phone, tapped the screen, slid down the ladder from his bunk, and zipped out the door.

Raph stood there, still holding Lotus, with his mouth gaping open and his head flipping from Mikey’s bunk to the door.

‘ ………….. I always thought three brothers were too many. ‘

With a low growl, Raph braced his core and bent his knees as he carefully placed Lotus onto the mattress. Thoughts pushed into his head as he pulled the covers over her, tucking her in as best he could. But this time, since he wasn’t in the annoying presence of his brothers, Raph allowed such thoughts to gain the front of his mind.

Normally, he would push against things that would pull unwanted emotions to the surface of his rough exterior. However much Mikey encouraged him to “ not ignore his feelings”, Raph knew better than to listen. Feelings lead to emotions. Emotions lead to hugs and tears; Something so awkward and… VULNERABLE for everyone involved. So, yeah, no thanks. Not his thing. He’ll leave that to Mikey.

However..

If there ever WERE times he would allow such things to cloud his mind and judgment, they would be felt BEHIND DOORS. NO ONE present.

Raph scoped out the room. It was only him and.. his unconscious roommate.

‘ …. Guess it’s safe enough to… ugh… feeeeeel. ‘

His eye brows lowered as he watched Lotus from the edge of the bed. Theories of the causes of her various cuts and bruises flew through his mind. He’s seen all kinds of injuries, (mostly by being the older brother of Mikey), bruises included. He also understood that they weren’t made by any trip or fall. The ones wrapped around her wrists seemed to be spread over a sizable dent imprinted into her skin.

Raph’s pupils constricted as he remembered the cuffs that had been strapped down on his own body. The jerks at that lab made sure to make them way too tight. He remembered how simply clenching his fists would squeeze a painful pressure into his wrists and upper arm.

He absentmindedly rubbed his right wrist as he shook his head to bring his mind back to the present.

‘ NO! I’m HOME. I’m SAFE. I’m OK. ‘

He thanked God that the shaking didn’t start again. He hated when things were out of his control. ESPECIALLY if it’s his own dang body.

That thought brought more to Raph’s mind. He laid his hand down next to Lotus’ on the edge of the bed.

‘ Looks like you’ve never been in control of anything in your own life…What the heck were you doin’ at that lab? What did they want with you… ‘

Raph jolted by a faint groan and a small voice.

“.... Th- thank you…Raph… “

He turned his head to look at Lotus, whom was now fighting to stay awake. Her eyelids hung low as she spoke looking up at him.

Raph allowed a subtle smirk on his face as he plopped down on the floor next to her. His eyes stayed glued to the ground as he patted the top of the covers where Lotus’ hand was peeking through.

“... No problem. “

Just as Raph began to lift his hand, the feeling of something quickly wrapping around it shocked his senses. His eyes shot up to see his hand clutched between Lotus’.

Everything went silent including Raph’s brain.

That's it for this chapter! :) This one was one of my easiest to write by far. ( Probably helps that Raph is the focus.)

Hope you enjoyed!

To God be the glory!

Masterpost <- PRIOR CHAPTER NEXT CHAPTER ->

#tmnt #my version of tmnt!!#the strength in weakness #SIW Raph #SIW Lotus #SIW Mikey #angst #angst/comfort #Raph the softie #Mikey's gonna die if he doesn't learn

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truths33k3r4 · 4 months

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( TW for nightmares, implied character death, panic attack )

CHAPTER 15 - A Leader’s Nightmare

As Leo began to pull himself off the ground, he heard little shuffling sounds of the surgical blanket. He briskly walked over to check on Lotus.

With closer inspection, he was comforted by the fact that she remained asleep. But that feeling quickly vanished when he laid his eyes on Lotus’ face. Her head was slightly shaking back and forth, and her forehead glimmered with beads of sweat. She wore a pained expression, making Leo double-check her stitches just in case.

As he scoured over her incision searching for any signs of infection, he heard a faint whimper squeeze through Lotus’ lips.

This brought him even less comfort.

He tried again, strategically and thoroughly checking over every stitch, but he saw nothing wrong. No broken seams and no inflamed skin…

Lotus’ whimpering got worse.

With a violent spasm through her body, she jerked her head back and let out a loud groan.

Leo tore his eyes from the incision and backed away from the table as Lotus nearly kicked his chin with her knee.

‘ Thank you, ninja reflexes. ‘ Leo thought as he cautiously walked up to behind Lotus’ head. He gently placed his hand under her chin and lifted it up so he could get a good look at her face. Her expression twisted as she hissed through her teeth.

Leo’s face fell with sympathy as he realized she was probably having a nightmare.

And with this realization, an old memory decided to fill his thoughts..

It was after he was named the leader of his brothers by Sensei.

That same night, something happened that would spark a deep fear within Leonardo ; A horrible thing that would plague him for years to come:

a nightmare.

He was standing over the towering ledge of one of the city’s many skyscrapers.

Below him, falling thousands of feet down, were his brothers.

Their brightly-hued masks slowly fell deeper into the darkness of the unknown.

Their screams echoed through his ears.

He couldn’t move.

Some unseen force was pressing a weight down on his form that left him frozen in place.

His hands were clenched around the hilts of his katanas, shaking violently with a flurry of fear, sadness, and anger.

FEAR of his brothers falling to their death.

SADNESS of his failure to protect them.

And ANGER of how he couldn’t do ANYTHING. He couldn’t MOVE. HE COULDN’T FIGHT AGAINST THE POWER OF GRAVITY AS IT QUICKLY DRAGGED HIS BROTHERS DOWN DEEPER INTO DARKNESS.

He fell to his knees, tears burning his eyes, and cried out.

His brothers were gone.

He failed.

HE FAILED.

The next thing he knew, he was being shaken awake by his little 13 year old brother.

“ LEO! WAKE UP, BRO!! “

As Leo opened his eyes, which he then realized were streaming with tears, he saw Raphael, angry but also concerned, gripping his hands onto Leo’s shoulders.

“ - WHA ? …. R- r - raph.. ? “

Leo rubbed his eyes, trying to rid them of the embarrassing streaks cascading from them, as well as trying to bring his vision back into focus.

“ WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT??? “ Raphael shout- whispered as he punched Leo hard on his shoulder.

“ - OW - RAPH! “ Leo groaned as he rubbed his sore arm.

“ You woke me up, YOU JERK. You were-.. You were groaning, and flailing, and whimpering.. “ Raph looked down, as he squeezed the end of Leo’s blanket with all his might to bring him some shred of comfort.

Raph was never good at feelings.

Leo’s face filled with guilt and shame as he realized the inconvenience he had become to his little brother..

His mind still echoed with the sounds of his brother's cries.

Every time he blinked he could see them falling.

Calling out his name.

He wanted it to STOP.

Leo yanked his arms up and covered his ears.

" It's not real, it's not real, it's not REAL! " He muttered to himself.

Raph's face fell with far more concern than annoyance now. He grabbed Leo's wrist, with just enough pressure to ground his big brother. Maybe it would help clear his mind or something.

" What the heck are ya talkin' about?? " He whispered. Raph was now officially freaked out. He never saw his older brother this.. scared.

" LEO. " Raph said a little louder, ( but not enough to wake their sleeping younger siblings ), as he shook Leo's wrist a little.

Finally snapping out of his trance, Leo's eyes filled with consciousness. His breath was nearly gone.. Raph tried again.

" What is going on? You're scaring me!! " Now Raph was losing his breath.

It was too much.

There, in front of his little brother, Leo fell apart.

He yanked his hand from Raph's grip, and tucked his head into his shell. And then his arms. And then his legs.

Raph flinched with surprise. It had been years since Leo had completely retracted into his shell. He thought he was too “ mature “ for that or whatever..

As Raph sat in silence on the end of Leo’s bed he heard a small echoing sound of crying and sniffling.

Raph groaned as he slid closer to his big brother’s shell, cozying up to it and pulling the blanket over it.

Leo felt the tiny vibrations of little comforting pats.

“ Dude, please don’t do this to me- it’s 3 in the morning and I have a Math test tomorrow… “ Raph moaned.

Leo remained still and silent.

Raph groaned louder, but still continued to rub and pat Leo’s shell.

“ .. So……. what, were you….. dreamin’ or somethin? “

A quivering hand emerged from inside Leo’s shell, nodding up and down with a closed fist, (ASL for “ Yes.” ), and then quickly retreated back from where it came.

Raph’s brow’s raised as his shoulders sagged in defeat.

He scooted closer to Leo and nudged his shell a little with his elbow.

“.. You wanna talk ‘bout it?.. “

Somehow Raph could sense Leo was shaking his head “ NO “ inside his shell.

So there the two brothers stayed, silent and contemplating. At the awkward ages of 14 and 13, this situation proved to be too much as the brothers just used each other’s presence to bring comfort, instead of a failed attempt with their words.

Despite the awkwardness of their silence, there was still a wave of peace warmly surrounding them, as they stayed by the other’s side.

And then the silence was gone.

“ Whha’s going on guysss??...” a little voice yawned.

Leo’s head popped out of his shell startling Raph into a sloppily-stanced ninja fighting pose.

“ -WHOOOOOZAT!??! “ Raph warned as his hands uselessly patted over his hips in search of his sais.

A bright glint from glasses peered from above Leo’s bunk, followed by a small, spotted head rising from the edge of his mattress.

Don fixed his glasses after they nearly fell off from his hanging upside down, “ You are, indeed, aware of the fact that it is 3:16 in the morning, yes? Are you also aware that the brain needs a minimum of 7 consecutive hours to be able to FUNCTION?????? “

Raph rolled his eyes at his twin with as much attitude as possible.

This didn’t deter Don from continuing his scolding.

“.. Raph, YOU, sir, have a math test in the morning, and if you don’t get enough sleep you’ll fai- “

“- Leo?? Why are you crying? “ Mikey spoke softly as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

That one observation stopped Don dead in his tracks, much to Raph’s delight.

“ He’s what?? “ Don said as he climbed down his ladder to peer into Leo’s bunk.

“ Leo.. What’s wrong?? “

Leo slowly emerged from his shell, and pulled his blanket up to his chin. He was quick to try to wipe off his tears.

“ I’m sorry, guys.. I’m fine. Please go back to bed… “

“ -NAH, BRO, YOU AIN’T DOIN NO HEROIC SACRIFICIAL CRAP HERE, we’re all awake now, so SPILL. “

Leo sighed as he fell down onto his pillow, pulling the blankets tighter to his chin.

“.. It.. It was just a nightmare. “ He whispered, as his eyes strayed from all of his brothers’.

Raph looked at Don, sending his mental message via their twin connection, and Don nodded, leaping from the ladder onto Leo’s bed. Mikey followed suit, somersaulting onto the mattress.

The four brothers could barely fit in the cramped space of Leo’s nook.

Eventually, however, they all found their designated spot, using the pillows and blanket to add some cushion against the hard stone wall. Sure, some of their limbs were hanging limply off the mattress, and yeah, Raph had to sleep at nearly a right angle against the wall in order for there to be enough room, but they all knew the reason for their “ turtle pile “ far exceeded the small discomfort they were feeling :

Their big brother needed them.

Leo paused, returning to the present.

He looked down at Lotus and gently shook her awake.

With a sharp gasp Lotus’ lavender eyes shot open. She began to pant, trying to catch her breath.

“ Shhh.. It’s ok. You’re ok. “ Leo comforted as he gently rubbed the back of her shell.

“ You’re safe, Lotus. It was just a nightma- “

Before Leo could finish his sentence, a pair of thin arms wrapped around him, squeezing tighter and tighter. He placed his hand on the back of Lotus’ head, and pulled her close to his plastron into a hug. His other hand continued it’s pattern of gently rubbing up and down her shell.

“.. It’s ok…” He repeated over and over as Lotus’ sobs slowly changed into sniffles.

The soothing rubs mixed with Leo’s calm, soft voice helped Lotus to once again fall asleep.

After Leo carefully lowered her limp body back down onto the table, he reached into one of the drawers in the Med Bay for the nicest blanket they had, draping it over Lotus.

It was heavy, soft, and the definition of cozy.

Lotus breathed out a content sigh, as she pulled the blanket's rim all the way up above her chin, nearly sneezing from the soft faux fur tickling her nose.

Lotus' eyes opened and fell onto Leo's.

" Thank you, Leonardo.. " She whispered as her eyes closed once again.

For the first time, Lotus slept with a smile gracing her face.

That's it for this chapter! :) Hope you enjoyed!!

If you have any questions or theories, please feel free to send me an ask and I'll answer them as best as I can! ( Hopefully without spoiling anything. ) ;)

To God be the glory!

Masterpost <- PRIOR CHAPTER NEXT CHAPTER ->

#tmnt #my version of tmnt!!#the strength in weakness #hurt/comfort #tw panic attack #tw nightmares #SIW Leo #SIW Raph #SIW Mikey #SIW Don #SIW Lotus

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truths33k3r4 · 3 months

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AAAAnnnnnnnddddd here's Lotus' Reference Sheet. :)

Lotus- Blunt-as-all-get-out, Pessimist, Behaviorist - 14 years old

Lotus goes through a few stages in my story, beginning with having a very thin, sickly body covered in bruises. As time goes on, she slowly grows stronger and comes a bit more " out of her shell" so to speak. Once her body and mind become strong enough, and with enough training, she joins the brothers team of ninjas. :)

~ Melissa

#tmnt #my version of tmnt!!#the strength in weakness #SIW Lotus #character sheet #character design #character concept

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truths33k3r4 · 3 months

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CHAPTER 20 - Concealed Concern

Raphael’s head was halfway into his shell.

“ DUDE. Are you actually serious right now??? HOW LONG? How long have you been in pain?? “ Leo shout-whispered as his hold on Raph’s arm loosened a tiny bit.

Raph smirked as his head re-emerged from his shell.

“ How long has Don been alive again? “

Leo’s glare penetrated his brother’s body like a hyper-focused laser. ( From 17 years of being the oldest sibling he’s mastered the art of “ the death glare… “ ) His grip still held fast to Raph’s right arm, but it was withheld in pressure. Even so, Raph was still very much CAUGHT.

This wasn’t a new feeling for him, especially as a sibling of four brothers. Many a time he would be doing something that might have been a little sneaky, like playing on the family’s gameboy under his blankets way past bedtime, and one of his goody-goody brothers, ( usually, mostly, always Mikey ), would rat him out.

He was used to being in trouble.

Not only with simple obedience failures, but also…

with the selfcare kind..

Raph’s never liked doctors. It doesn’t even matter that he’s never had an appointment with one.

The tv shows the brothers would watch when they were kids would tell their feeble-minded audience that “ Doctors help people! There’s no point to be scared! If you ever feel sick, going to the doctor can really help! “.

Even at the age of 6 years old, Raph knew that was a load of bull. Any time the first aid kit made an appearance, it usually caused more harm than good. The scrapes and bruises that he and his brothers would earn would heal on their own. There was no need for lame bandaids with cartoon characters on them and that awful stinging solution. Worst case scenario, you get a scar out of it. Oh the horror.

Sensei would drill into his brain how he should care for his body. Be a good steward of it or whatever.

‘ “ Be careful, my son. Always wear your helmet. “ ‘

‘ “ Raphael!! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT YOUR HELMET? “ ‘

‘ “ Where did this bruise come from?? “ ‘

‘ “ WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HANDS?!?! “ ‘

Raph stopped that last little memory dead in its’ tracks.

‘ Heheh~ Yeah, I ain’t goin’ there. ‘

Raph flinched as his mind returned to his body, once again looking into the eyes of his seething older brother. He was saying something.

‘ OH CRUD WHAT DID HE SAY- ‘

Leo seemingly finished his tirade, landing his face into a questioning glare with his eyebrows raised.

‘ THAT’S NOT GOOD- OH SHOOT HIS BROWS ARE UP- HE MUST’VE ASKED A QUESTION… ‘

Raph braced himself.

“....... Could ya repeat that?... “

He didn’t even need to blink before he was being pulled through the door into the hallway. Thankfully, Leo had switched his grip to Raph’s left arm this time.

The door closed behind them. Leo’s hand tightened around Raph’s wrist. The crimson-clad turtle didn’t have to look at his brother to know he was glaring again.

“ WE ARE NOT DONE, RAPH. I know you don’t love the idea of being patched up, but you gotta GET OVER IT. Hiding your injuries isn’t just wrong, it’s IMMATURE. “

‘ Oh heeere we goooo. ‘ Raph mentally rolled his eyes.

“ DON’T START, DUDE. I’m so DONE with this. One would think you’d be over this by twelve, but maybe that’s giving you too much credit. “

Raph’s fists tightened.

Leo apparently felt his brother's muscles strain in his arm, cause in one quick motion, his wrist was pulled up against his will. Leo’s eyes widened as they landed on the cut sliced into his brother’s knuckle.

Leo’s ice blue eyes, normally cool and tame, burst with a spark of red.

Somehow his grip on Raph’s arm tightened again, making the crimson-clad brother question if his skin was turning blue underneath the sleeve of his hoodie.

Leo started to shake.

‘ Ohhh cruditsky.. ‘ Raph tried to think of something to calm Leo down. FAST.

“ Dude, it’s not that bad.. Just a scratch. I grazed it on a brick, I’m fine. “

He could sense every stress chasm in Leo’s body starting to bubble under his skin. He recognized the clench of his brother’s jaw as he fought tooth and nail to not say something he would regret.

Raph could just see the words repeating in Leo's head, the ones he would hear Leo practicing with Sensei in his study after having a big fight with one of his brothers:

' " A fool utters all his words but a wise man keeps them IN. " '

That nice little memory decided to end itself as soon as a growing tension began spreading up his arm. It seemed all the anger in Leo chose to target Raph through his vice-like grip rather than through any words spoken through his mouth.

He braced himself for the echoes of Sensei’s sermons through his big brother’s lips.

The shaking stopped.

There was no longer a hand clutching his wrist.

The sound of footsteps echoed in Raph’s ears as he opened his eyes to face.. No one..

‘ W- What? What just happened??? ‘

He really couldn’t believe it. There was nothing! Not a “ Raph you idiot “, or “ WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU “ or even a simple “ I’m telling Dad. “

.. Nothing.

The last echoes of footsteps faded into silence. Raph remained at the front of the door looking down the hall in the direction his brother, ( his oldest, calmest, strongest brother ), stormed off.

Raph stroked the back of his neck, racking his brain for any shred of what Leo had said back in the Medbay.

He growled.

‘ Stupid brain- Stupid thoughts tryin’ to mess with me…Thanks to YOU I totally ZONED OUT while my brother grilled me...’

Raph shook his head and moved his hands back into the pocket on his hoodie, but not before he also caught sight of the scratch adorning his left knuckle. The blood had clotted and was now a dark, muted red.

“ This is all YOUR fault. “ Raph whispered to his hand, using his other to point accusingly, “ If you had STAYED in my hoodie none of this woulda happened. “

He shoved it back into the pocket with far more force than needed, as his other twisted the knob on the door to the Medbay.

The bright lights made Raph have to squint as he entered the room.

‘ Ok.. Bring Lotus to bed, wrap up my dumb hand, and….

..ugh…

… apologize to Le- ‘

Raph froze as his breath caught in his throat.

‘ WHAT THE- ‘

There in front of him, clutching onto the sides of the surgical table for support, stood Lotus. Her body was shaking badly as her arms tried to keep herself upright.

‘ WHAT IS SHE DOING??! ‘

Lotus slowly turned her head to face Raph.

The light in her eyes was dimming rapidly.

“....Raaapph?....”

Raph’s eyes grew wide in panic as he watched Lotus’ body start to sway. His own body went on override and didn’t ask permission as it shot past the doorway, extending his arms as far as they could go.

With a loud clatter and shuffle, Raph found himself knelt down on one knee with Lotus flopped lifelessly into his arms. His heart was racing as his mind finally caught up to his body.

Lotus stirred and slowly raised her head to face Raph. Her eyelids hung low with exhaustion as her chest rose and descended in huffs.

‘..T- th- thanks.. “ She gasped in between breaths.

Raph’s eyes darted back and forth as he tried to figure out what to do.. What to SAY.

‘ “ YOUNG LADY WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU DOIN’??? “ ‘

Or maybe

‘ “ DO YOU KNOW HOW STUPID THAT WAS?? YA COULDA CRACKED YOUR HEAD OPEN!“ ‘

Raph’s racing mind decided to stop for a second.

He looked down at the now unconscious Lotus in his arms.

He himself was FIGHTING against the urge to give his own tirade about how stupid Lotus was being, pushing herself too much, and not caring for her own healt-

‘......... What the heck, irony?... ‘

Raph briskly looked over Lotus to make sure she was alright. It seemed that he caught her in the nick of time, barely saving her head from slamming into the side of the surgical table.

Raph kept his mouth shut as he lifted himself and Lotus off the ground, beginning the trek back to the brother’s nook.

‘ You know what... Maybe it’s a good thing Leo wasn’t here to see this… ‘

That's it for this chapter!! :) Can't believe I've already reached 20 chapters in ' the Strength in Weakness"... Man, has time flown. :)

Thank you to everyone for reading and commenting, and just being so kind and encouraging. :)

To God be the glory!

Masterpost <- PRIOR CHAPTER NEXT CHAPTER ->

#tmnt #my version of tmnt!!#the strength in weakness #angst #angst comfort #hurt/comfort #SIW Leo #SIW Raph #SIW Lotus #siblings

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truths33k3r4 · 3 months

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CHAPTER 17 - IQ vs EQ

Another small jolt from Lotus made Don rethink his slight outburst. He lowered his volume automatically.

“.. Leo… PLEASE tell me you have a good reason for such a.. miscalculation on your part, oh, TEAM MEDIC. “ Don made sure to over-articulate the last three words..

Leo’s shoulders rose higher and higher with each of Don’s questions, as his head slowly retreated into his shell. As Don paused, Leo saw his chance to speak up and snatched it immediately.

“- I KNOW, OK? I know.. I THOUGHT that because she was numbed, she wouldn’t wake up, so I didn’t give her anything else- “

Leo got cut off as his body was pulled by Don out of the Medbay and into the hallway.

Don shut the door quietly.

And then he inhaled.

‘ Here we go..’ Leo braced for impact.

“- Leo. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING???? Yes, when you started the procedure, she was unconscious, BUT YOU ALWAYS PREPARE FOR THE WORST.. “

Don’s hands shook and swayed with every emotion he manifested.

“..Your optimism of how the procedure would go cost Lotus PAIN. Physical discomfort- or how Mikey would say it - THE OUCHY FEELINGS. “

Leo sighed as the words he had ready on his tongue disintegrated instantly.

As always, Leo’s genius brother was right. Leo had been an idiot with how he handled Lotus’ procedure. There was nothing he could say that would change that.

Don took Leo’s silence into consideration. He watched his oldest brother’s expression change from passionate and defensive, to despondent and regretful. Leo’s shoulders, which were earlier nearly to his ears, now hung low and heavy.

‘ Perhaps I’m being too harsh.. ‘ Don thought to himself, as he forced a more softened expression on his face.

‘ Maybe adding a hint of a compliment will help.. But nothing too obvious.. Just enough so that he doesn’t think I’m.. attacking him.. ‘

“ What happened in there? You’re our team medic. You would KNOW BETTER than to choose such a… amateur medical decision… “ Don’s voice no longer dripped with the sting of bluntness, but now carried a soothing coolness with his tone.

He was never really good at verbally comforting someone, so over the years he learned to use facts, something unmoving and true, to help calm his brothers. ( And sometimes himself when he needed it. ) The same principle applied with his ‘ compliments ’. ( On the rare occasion he would attempt to encourage or uplift his brothers that is. They had Mikey for that. )

It was hard for Don to take it in his own hands to be the.. ugh.. ‘emotional anchor’ of EQ based situations. That was Mikey’s job. Or Sensei. Anyone but him. He was the last resort. It didn’t make sense to him to waste time with trying when there were others more equipped for such a daunting task. He does machines, and Mikey’s the party dude: He works with elements that can be fixed with the creative mind or an instruction manual, and Mikey.. deals with feelings ; Messy, illogical feelings.

Leo sensed the sincerity of Don’s words. As his face warmed with a faded smile, weighed down by pressure, guilt, and just- PURE exhaustion, he responded to Don’s question.

“ Don, I - I TRIED! I thought since I numbed Lotus’ leg, she would stay asleep till it was over, but then she woke up while I was pulling out the implant! “

Don tried and failed to hide a grimace at the thought.

“.. It was like the lidocaine just stopped working.. And by the time she was fully conscious, I had already gripped onto the implant and was pulling it out!! “ Leo raised his hands over his head and began to massage the back of his neck as his voice grew more shaky, “ There wasn’t any time to- I… I didn’t know it wouldn’t.. “

Leo dropped his head into his hands, as he let out an exasperated groan.

“ .. I didn’t know what to do. “

Don paused to study his brother. He noticed now how shaky Leo’s breathing had become, as well as the slow drips of sweat that were traveling down his forehead onto his hands:

Clear indicators of stress.

Don gently placed his hand on his oldest brother’s shoulder, causing Leo to flinch, lifting his head out of his hands in a quick, fluid movement. As their eyes met, an understanding, but miniscule, grin grew on Don’s face.

Just like with his twin, Don sent a mental message to Leo:

‘ It’s ok. You did what you could. I understand. ‘

Leo smiled back at his violet- clad brother.

“ Thanks, bro. I needed that. Facts and all. “

Don nodded, dropping his smile, and returning to the face he had programmed himself to wear. He then used his grip on Leo’s shoulder to push him back near the Medbay door.

“ We should scan that implant as soon as possible. Once um.. once it’s been THOROUGHLY decontaminated and STERILIZED… Maybe it holds information on who Lotus is, or coordinates to where she resided before she was taken to the lab..”

Leo took Don’s quick change of subject as his way of ending the emotional talk as soon as possible, which… he was fine with.. How many times had he cried today? WAY THE FRICK TOO MANY.

Leo made his way back into the Medbay, with Don following close behind. As they walked in, a certain tint of an orange mask caught their eye.

“ MIKEY! “ They both whisper-shouted in unison. The youngest turned his head, smiled with the brightness of a thousand suns, and then waved emphatically at his speechless older brothers.

“ Sup! “ Mikey some-what whispered.

Leo and Don turned to each other, with the same question etched into their face,

‘ How the heck did we not see him go in??? ‘

Mikey also understood the question behind their tongue-tied expressions.

“ A ninja never reveals his secrets. “ Mikey triumphantly taunted, wiggling his fingers as if he were playing an air- piano. “ Sooooo, snacks are all set in the kitchen.. Want me to wake her u- “

“ TOO LATE, OJ. “ Lotus interjected, turning over on the surgical table, revealing her VERY ANNOYED expression.

“- GAAIIEEEE! How long have you been awake?? “ Mikey shouted, as both Leo and Don smacked their foreheads.

“ …FAR…TOO….LONG… “ Lotus grumbled as she sat up slowly.

Unfortunately, Leo was too late to warn her not to move.

With a loud hiss, and a quick flinch of fire shooting up her left leg, Lotus’s shell landed back onto the table with a THUD..

..” Right… “ Lotus rasped, “.. No… moving… Owww. “

“ Ooooh~ That probably didn’t tickle..” Mikey winced in empathy.

“ NAHHH what gave you THAT idea?.. “ Lotus growled as she tried to manually move her leg to its original position on the table, being careful not to strain any muscles.

Leo had to blink when he heard Lotus’ growl.

‘ ..She sounds just like Raph…’ Leo thought to himself.

Just to test his theory, he turned his head to face his two brothers. Perhaps they had noticed too.

Mikey didn’t seem all that fazed. Which is completely normal. He had grown accustomed to Raph’s snarls seeing how half the time they were targeted at himself, so it didn’t really frighten him when Lotus mimicked the behavior.

But Don was a different story.

When Leo turned to Don, his eyes were slightly widened, and he was peering at Lotus while he fixed his glasses. His mouth was slightly ajar until it shut as he hummed to himself.

“ Hmmmmmmmm. “

That's it for this chapter! :)

If you have any questions or theories, feel free to send me an ask, and I'll answer as best I can without giving away too many spoilers. :)

To God be the glory!

Masterpost <- PRIOR CHAPTER NEXT CHAPTER ->

#tmnt #my version of tmnt!!#the strength in weakness #comfort #fluff #SIW Leo #SIW Don #SIW Mikey #SIW Lotus

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truths33k3r4 · 4 months

Text

CHAPTER 16 - Facing Faults and Facts

“ - DUDE, WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED!?!? “

Mikey burst through the Medbay doors, scaring the shell off of Leo, whom had JUST gotten Lotus to sleep.

“ We heard a scream!! Is everyone- “ Mikey abruptly paused his blaring voice as soon as he saw Lotus flinch underneath her blanket, “.. Is everyone ok? “ He whispered with a wince.

Leo nodded, “ Yes, everyone’s ok… “

He mentally paused at his statement.

‘ I mean, as ok as she COULD be.. Ya know, after waking up and feeling every twist and pull as I ripped out the implant buried in her leg, and then every prick and pull as I stitched.. ‘

Mikey nodded to Leo after fully searching over the room, and especially focusing on Lotus’ incision.

He gave a small smile to his older brother, “ Nice work with the stitches, dude! Looks clean. You’d know if there were any.. Uh, leaks, cause I would have lost my lunch by now..Sooo um… what was the scream about??? .... “ Mikey glanced down to Lotus again, “ ..Did it hurt? “

He watched as Leo’s eyes became full of grief and shame.

‘ WHoooaaa back up. Struck a chord- try again- ‘ Mikey mentally noted.

“ Dude, what’s wrong? Are YOU ok?? Didn’t cut yourself did ya? “ Mikey gently picked up Leo’s hand in his, searching over it with squinting eyes. “ I don’t see anything. “

Leo took a deep breath, pared with a glint of joy in his eyes and a shine from his tired smile. Something that he truly loved about his youngest brother was how much he cared about his family; How much he wanted to help with any and every problem. ( Even the times when he was the one to blame for the mess. )

Leo looked his brother in the eye, “ I’m ok, Mikey. No cuts. “ Leo slowly pulled his hand out of Mikey’s, “ It’s just that- something.. a LOT OF THINGS went wrong..

.. And it was my fault. “

Leo’s smile faded as fast as it had appeared.

Mikey’s brows pulled closer to each other as he placed his hand on his big brother’s shoulder.

“ Dude, you can tell me. I won’t judge or nothin’. You know the most out of everyone how often I mess up stuff. “

Mikey grinned as Leo’s smile tried to reappear.

“ Thanks, bro.. Ok- “ Leo started.

Mikey’s eye brows raised encouraging him to go on.

..” The truth is.. I don’t know how, but the lidoca- “

-Leo noticed how Mikey’s face went from interested to downright confused.

“.. the stuff that numbs the skin- “ Leo started again, “ it.. It didn’t WORK. It wore off in like 2 minutes!! And I have NO IDEA why!.....

… Mikey.. I.. I did hurt her.. She- she felt… everything. “

Mikey’s eyes grew as they filled with understanding of what Leo said.

“.. Everything??? You mean when you pulled… and poked.. and SLICED- “ Mikey accidentally let out a small gag at the thought, covering his mouth with his other hand. Then he took a breath, lowered his hand, and looked back at Leo.

‘ Can’t hurl when Leo’s hurtin’, GOTTA STAY STRONG- Just DON’T THINK ABOUT IT- ‘

“ Dude, it’s not your fault. You didn’t make the lido-stuff not work. You didn’t KNOW it wouldn’t work. That’s not on you. “ Mikey patted Leo’s shoulder encouragingly.

Mikey knew how often Leo would blame himself for things that were out of his control. It happened ALL the time. Especially now that he was named the leader.

Mission failed - LEO’S FAULT.

His brothers mess up during training - LEO’S FAULT.

One of his brothers gets hurt - LEO’S FAULT-

Mikey switched the weight from his right ankle to his left.

“ Come on, dude. Say it. Say it’s not your fault. “ Mikey squished Leo’s face to mimic his mouth moving like a puppet, “ Sayyyyy it’s nottttttt your faullttttttttt. “

Leo rolled his eyes, and with a squished face answered, “ It’s noht mhy fhault. “ Leo turned his face to escape out of Mikey’s hold, as he filled the space between Mikey’s open hands with his own, pulling them down. “ You happy now, little brother? “

Mikey’s nose wrinkled as he squinted deep into Leo’s eyes.

“ Didya MEAN it? “

Leo sighed and dropped his head a little, “ Sure.. I guess. “ He smiled, making his teeth shine all big and bright like some movie star. ( And it was just as fake. )

Mikey’s squinting eyes tightened even more.

“ LIESSSsssssss. “ He jokingly hissed.

Leo’s knockoff smile was replaced with one of full genuineness.

“ OK THAT’S ENOUGH- “ Leo stated as he flicked the tip of Mikey’s snout with his finger. “ I have to clean up here, and Lotus needs rest. Can you go get some snacks ready for when she wakes up? Simple things like crackers, water, and toast? Maybe some tea? “

Mikey rubbed his nose as he smiled and nodded.

Leo was no where close to accepting the truth- but he at least took steps to reach that goal.. Maybe, someday, he would believe it.

In a flash, Mikey was gone again.

Leo turned around to begin clean-up, putting away gear, disposing of the basin’s grotesque contents, and-

“ -WHAT WAS THAT RAUCOUS RACKET???? “ Don yelled as he, too, BURST through the Medbay door.

“ GYYEEEE- DON!!! “ Leo snapped as he held his hand over his thumping heart. Then he used his eyes and head to gesture to Lotus, lowering his volume immediately, but still keeping the strict tone, “ SHE’S TRYING TO SLEEP. “

Don nodded, then whispered back, “ Very well. I won’t disturb her.. Ahem. What, dear brother, was that noise?? The scream? My calculations led me to this room judging by how feminine it sounded- unless Raph found another cockroach again.. “ Don’s grin curled with smugness as he dissed his twin.

Leo sighed again, ( he was doing that a lot lately ), as he prepared to face the same shame when he answered Mikey.

“ Yeah.. It… it was Lotus.. The lidocaine didn’t work. “

Don’s face changed from smug to full of questions. This left Leo unnerved, especially when he didn’t need to use his full 3-fingered hand to count the times his genius brother has been confused.

It wasn’t a good look for him.

Don pulled his glasses higher onto his face as his mouth remained ajar, not even sure which question to ask first.

“ You- She- How- Why- …… Okay. How did it “ wear off “ ?? “ Don spoke as he used his hands to mimic quotation marks. “ Medicine doesn’t just completely WEAR OFF. “

“ I don’t know, dude.. Maybe she’s immune to that kind of anesthetic? Is that a thing?? I KNOW I gave her enough of a dose!! It’s not like I skimped on it…”

“ It can be POSSIBLE to be immune to particular medications… If one has been treated with it for long periods of time, the body can get accustomed to it, and eventually it can be dulling to the effects of the meds.. It’s called being ‘tolerant’ to them. “

“ Well- apparently- Lotus is VERY TOLERANT..”

Leo paused as his shoulders rose a little, bracing for the scolding to start,

“ And I.. I didn’t administer anything else besides the lidocaine-“

“- YOU DIDN’T WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!! “

That's it for this chapter. :) Hopefully these past chapters have been a nice breath of fresh air for yall readers. ;) It's been quite fun figuring out the sweet moments the bros have with each other. :)

To God be the glory!

Masterpost <- PRIOR CHAPTER NEXT CHAPTER ->

#tmnt #my version of tmnt!!#the strength in weakness #comfort #fluff- FINALLYYYY #SIW Leo #SIW Mikey #SIW Don #SIW Lotus

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