#SOMEBODY FUCKING GIVE ME A LOBOTOMY OR SOMETHING

[aroace-polyshow]

someone needs to brand "i am cringe but i am free" on my brain maybe then i will truly embrace the cringe

#marlo’s stuff #screaming at myself #all the time #i appreciate the ask about my ocs but i so conveniently forgot the fact i want to explode (/neg) when i think about the lore i came up with #I WILL ANSWER IT BUT I AM GOING INSANE RIGHT NOW #i am cringe but i am free i am cringe but i am free i am cringe but i am free i am cringe but i am free i #I NEED TO SHOOT WHATEVER PART OF MY BRAIN CAUSES ME THIS MUCH SHAME 24/7 #SOMEBODY FUCKING GIVE ME A LOBOTOMY OR SOMETHING #PLEASE #IM LOSING IT

[tk5150]

Melted Chocolate

Trigger warnings there is a lobotomy in this chapter plus resentment of the child.

Chapter 3

Waking up feeling sore on your abdomen and vaginal area the next morning to find Keigo holding the devil baby to your breasts, hearing the sucking sounds and feeling the slight pain of the pull of the baby feeding. "What the fuck is he doing? Why can’t I speak? Why is he looking at me smiling?" “Good morning buttercup…did you sleep well?” he whispered to you then with a gleam in his eyes, he looked at the baby “Little Kaito is hungry…yes he is…my little big man,” he cooed at the horned baby. “He’s so adorable, can I hold him?” was all you said to Keigo involuntarily. Wide-eyed "what?! I didn’t say that what the fuck is going on with me?! Why do I have a stupid smile on my face?" “You're probably wondering why you're in such a good mood? Simple, our son, our beautiful bundle of joy is in this world,” he grinned at you. “You wanted to hold the baby…right?” he asked you while releasing the baby into your arms. "No, no, no…get this little monster away from me…what did you do to me?". You nodded and smiled once again. You sighed and closed your eyes only to find that your inner eye is sore. It felt as though somebody punched you directly on your eye. “It’s such a beautiful day, may I sit in the living room?” you smiled dazed at Keigo but you were screaming internally. "What in the hell is wrong with me? Why am I acting so sweet to this asshole?!" “Yes it’s a beautiful day, but not as beautiful as what I am seeing before me…a very beautiful woman nursing our newborn son and, yes you may sit in the living room” he smiled softly. You tried to throw the newborn child to the floor by, trying to loosen your grip but, for some reason your body wouldn’t let it happen. "What did you do?! Keigo what the fuck did you do to me?! Answer me!." But, he couldn’t hear you. The sound of Keigo rambling on about the beauty of having a family and the suckling of this devil baby was making you aggravated and still you carried on smiling because you had no will of your own. Keigo’s wings perked up to feel you intense stare “Baby is there something wrong?” he questioned with a smile. "Yeah there's something the fuck wrong…why am I acting this way?! and why is this fucking monster at my tits?!" “I could almost read your mind…you probably want to use the restroom, and probably need something to drink…right?” he smiled, then took the now sleepy baby away from you and, gently placed him in the blue ruffled bassinet. You smiled and nodded while holding on to Keigo’s hand. "This is not possible. I don't have a mind of my own." After using the bathroom you smiled at him and pointed to the bedroom door. “No sweetheart…you need to rest after the ordeal you had from yesterday…giving birth is such a strenuous job if I do say so myself, later I'll take you to the living room” he gently placed you back to bed. “Keigo…I’m thirsty and hungry” you smiled at him and he nodded to you. He poured you a glass of ice water from your dresser and went to the kitchen to grab you some breakfast he so lovingly prepared for you earlier. You sighed in frustration but it was soft like you were tired. “Keigo…please…home,” you smiled. He sat on his side of the bed “Baby…you are home…and home you will stay,” he said softly then kissed your forehead gently. He started feeding you while observing your eyes. You closed your eyes carefully so as to not irritate anything that is hurting them. That morning was somewhat peaceful and quiet while you spent it resting.

Waking up to the baby crying and seeing Keigo rushed into the master room to tend to the baby. He picked up the crying baby “There, there big little man…mommy is sleeping, she needs her rest after all,” he cooed at Kaito. He held the baby and sat on his side scooting all the way next to you and lifted your nightgown exposing your breasts. Keigo helped Kaito latch on to y/n’s breasts to feed the baby. “There we go my son…feed on mommy…I love you baby and mommy loves you too…she just has to get use to you,” he cooed to Kaito. You pretended to sleep when you heard Keigo. “I know that your awake buttercup…and I know that you're screaming internally…I just didn’t want you to kill our son buttercup,” he whispered while explaining to you. “I need food,” you smiled at him. “Let Kaito eat, let me change him, and then I’ll feed you…you have me for only a couple of weeks,” he said to you. “When he’s 6 months old I will have his horns surgically removed,” he added while helping Kaito latch on to the other breast. "Is this going to be my life for the rest of my existence on this God forsaken earth? He actually found how to control everything about me". You heard the baby whimper and the constant sound of sucking and breathing, breathing and sucking, it was driving you crazy. But, yet you still had a soft smile on your face. Unable to control anything now you had to resign to the fact that Keigo has you now.

You heard a knock on the door wondering who could that be as Keigo rushed to the front door. You heard the whispering of Keigo and the oh so familiar voice. “Can I come in?” Miruko asked. “What the fuck are you doing here? My wife is here with our baby,” he hissed at her. "Are you fucking kidding me?! She’s here?! You Miruko are too bold for your own good". “I miss you Keigo…when are you going to visit me,” she pleadingly whispered. You slowly got up with a smile on your face and walked out of the bedroom to the living room. Wide-eyed and in shock Keigo looked at you and took a step back. You smiled and greeted Miroku softly. “Welcome to our home,” you smiled at her. "No, no, no, what the hell I know I didn’t just welcome the bitch whore to Keigo." Wide-eyed Miruko came in and sat down on the sofa looking at y/n and back to Keigo. Keigo gently rushed y/n back to the bedroom where the sleeping baby was and quickly went back to the living room. Walking back into the living room. Miruko had so many questions for the new father. “What did you do to y/n? Why is she so happy to see me of all people?” she questioned him. “That’s none of your business…just know that I won’t be able to visit for a little while. I have to help take care of my newborn,” he quickly rushed Miruko out with the quickness. Miruko was dazed while walking out of the door, she waved it off because she just didn't really care.

Returning back to the bedroom to see y/n still smiling but this smile was wavering it was a crazed smile that didn’t meet her eyes. Tears were streaming as well. “I know you have so many questions that you are unable to question and I refuse to answer anyways but know this I love you and will always love you…she doesn’t mean anything to me but a fun time in bed…you are my treasure and will remain my treasure always,” he tried to reassure y/n. You were screaming in rage internally but, your body made you move towards him and hug him lovingly. "I think I’m going to vomit…please make it stop!" Hugging you back he gently placed you on the bed and tucked you in, fluffing your pillows behind you. “You’re so gorgeous right now I really want to make love to you, but the book about after the birth states I can’t touch you for like four to six weeks, your tits look like the hurt engorged with Kaito’s milk…do you want me to relieve you from that painful pressure?” he asked. "No. I don’t want you nowhere near me." You nodded and Keigo lifted your soaked nightgown, took it off of you and dropped it on the floor. He took one nipple into his mouth, he started to suck it. They were very painful at first but there was a sense of relief. “Does it feel better baby? Mmm…it tastes so good, buttercup,” he moaned out. "Fuck! Why me? Get your nasty ass lips off of me! NOW!" You smiled while embracing Keigo’s head as he gently sucked the milk out of you. “Keigo,” was all you could say to try to make him stop and it worked for a little bit but he kept on suckling. You had the urge to stab him with an ice pick in his head, directly in his ear but you couldn't and you wanted to cry for that but you also couldn’t. He finally stopped when he looked up to you and saw your eyes burning with pure unadulterated hatred but you kept on smiling. You slowly moved away from his embrace with caution then he smiled for being ridiculous. Y/n couldn’t possibly hurt him in any way, shape, or form. “Buttercup? Why don’t you get some more sleep…by the time you wake up lunch will be ready,” he said to you. "I just, just won’t eat. That’s it, I will try my damnedest to refuse food." Keigo walked out.

Walking in the kitchen he knew what he was doing was complete and utterly wrong but, he had to do it for the survival of his son. Clenching his fists he was frustrated and angry that his own child’s mom would try to kill him every chance she got. “Shit…why y/n? Why does it have to be this way?” he mumbled while opening the fridge. Grabbing the raw chicken he had purchased and some vegetables and placing them on the counter. He didn’t notice that y/n was walking softly towards the living room and heading towards the front door. He didn’t bother to lock her up because of the procedure he had done to you. It was only luck that he lifted his head up to see you turning the knob gently. He headed towards you. “What are you doing buttercup? You must’ve been confused…the bathroom is not through this door,” he said while steering you gently towards the master bedroom and to the bathroom. "No, don’t make me go back to that fucking bedroom! I don’t wanna…please Keigo let me go! Let me go! Shit…fuck…ahhhhh". Keigo led you back to the room while the baby was stirring. “See, Kaito is waking up for his afternoon feeding and you want to leave, buttercup he can’t live without you, if you don’t feed him,” he explained and finally you put two and two together. He placed you on the bed and tied you up. You had no strength in you to struggle so you laid there helpless. While Keigo quickly changed the newborn and helped him on your breasts. The baby quickly latched on to you and started to suck. Keigo was holding the baby while he was feeding and when it came time to switch sides he did. “Who can I trust to help take care of Kaito and you, cause eventually I need to go back to work,” Keigo said to you. Keigo walked back to the kitchen “The fucking lobotomy isn’t working, I have to call Dr. Nishimura once again, shit,” he said to himself but you caught that. "You?! You given me a fucking lobotomy?! Keigo I fucking hate you. Oh, how I hate you".

After Kaito finished feeding, Keigo walked back in the bedroom, took the baby, and started burping the baby while dialing the phone number that Dr. Nishimura had given him. “Hey Doc, the lobotomy didn’t take, dude…what exactly did I pay you for?” Keigo said being frustrated. “Keigo, don’t worry, I’m sending my assistant over to give her weekly injection…it’s taking but needs continued injections of heavy sedatives, do you think that just the lobotomy alone is going to do the trick?...no, she clearly needs sedatives until her lobe is healed” Dr. Nishimura stated. “Shit, how much is this going to run me Doc?” Keigo questioned. “About three-hundred a pop for six months it will be nine grand for the whole treatment,” Dr. Nishimura explained. Keigo didn’t care about the money he had to spend to have his family and for him to live comfortably. “Fine, I’ll be expecting him…oh doctor, do you know anyone who would like to get paid under the table for those six months…I need a caretaker,” Keigo inquired. “Do I look like an employment agency?” Dr. Nishimura retorted. “I’ll check around there is no shortage of females looking for money. How much are you offering?” the doctor questioned. “Two grand every other week,” Keigo stated. “Okay, let me check around,” with that the doctor hung up. He knew that he had to find someone fast

#yandere keigo x reader #yandere hawks #tw lobotomy

[to2llynottoby]

Every time you answer one of these it just literally shows how much you need to get a job or some actual real life friends maybe even a hobby but I don't know go play Homestuck for the thousandth time or something. That'll be your new personality i guess?

If you are the future of then its even bleaker than people realize.

All this wasted energy on your Tumblr and for what though really? It doesn't make you smarter, doesn't make you any kind of money.

it's literally just a performance for creepy online men such as yourself so you can feel something your parents never gave you. Really is sad af. You would actually get a little bit of respect if you could own up to things or even acknowledge and follow through on things but you're not that guy and you never will be.

I just don't even know what to say anymore how ironic and hypocritical you are. I guess to sum it up it's rules for the not for me huh? You can be a wacky tacky edgelord all day but God forbid somebody else gives you a little bit of that energy.

Then it is a nuclear retarded meltdown we all have to see you do.

Everything you post is just unfiltered garbage at an alarming rate that has to be stored somewhere and it's going to be absolutely useless for anybody else other than you so you can jerk off to your own "clever" zingers later.

You and your little butt buddies can say whatever you want about me but holy shit I'm proud not to be whatever the fuck you guys are but i would need a lobotomy to attempt to get close.

"I don't know what to say anymore" halfway through the eighteen paragraph tirade. Let it all out man, I really don't mind. I'm a good listener so you just keep going as long as you need to

[flatteryleadstoruins]

I'm going through ASPD rage hell right now, we're putting this under a cut before it gets absurdly fucking long...

[RANTING ABOUT JTHM TUMBLR BELOW]

I've completely forgiven Johnny for everything that happened during The Incident [see mister-samsa for the uninformed] — but the situation was difficult for for me, much as I'm not keen on talking about the touchy feely emotional component of that. The resentment I would've had for him is now, like, being directed towards all the bystanders of the situation...because it needs somewhere. Blah blah, energy cannot be created or destroyed; them's the breaks.

With Johnny, yeah, he went around lying about me to a fuckload of people, telling some of them I tried to e-rape him — but my read of that situation isn't like...Johnny puppetmastering a bunch of idiots into believing some lie. His version of events made absolutely no sense given the information that was out there at the time [all the screenshots I dumped] — him coming onto me, all our psychotic dysfunctional-ness, etc. I'm sure some of these people didn't see my post, but I know for a FACT some of those faggots did. What does that say? They weren't some helpless little retards who were misled into a falsehood. They were willfully ignorant, and just didn't give a single fuck that somebody they liked might've done something unethical. Jesus Christ, the fucking audacity to talk shit about me in private Discord servers like I'm the fucking devil when you were semi-knowingly enabling someone to not take responsibility for sexual misconduct. I guess being a freak psychopath is only uncool when I do it!

It's just FUCKED how I'm the person getting stupid fucking anons, and having people to catty to me, EVEN NOW! It doesn't matter what I do, people will find some way to fucking villianize me! If I denounce Johnny his people are going to get on my ass, and if I forgive him and clarify the situation...people who were allegedly supportive of me are going to get on my ass! Fuck all of you people! None of you give a fuck about this situation, you just like justifying your petty dislike of people and feeling superior! Even if I got a 7-page apology from everybody who has pissed me off during all this tommorow; it wouldn't make a difference to me! It wouldn't fucking care because it'd mean NOTHING. I'd still want to strangle all of you!

This isn't something I ever wanted to fucking experience again, and it makes me sick. I've had to sit here and relive two of the worst things to ever happen to me, but that's not enough, I have to deal with these fucking lobotomy babies on top of it...in an enviorment I specifically cultivated to get away from this. It's like I can't be safe anywhere. And you know what the funny thing is? Do you know how many asks Johnny has gotten about this? ZERO.

I'm glad about that, because he's dealing with so much right now that Lord knows he doesn't need more on top of it, but like. REALLY? How am I the only one getting crap for this; it's all such gay bullshit. I'm the problem because I said something publically instead of sitting in a corner, and not being a messy inconvenience. FINE. DON'T CARE. BELIEVE WHAT YOU WANT.

Okay...I feel better now.

I'm likely going to start working on a JTHM project soon, hopefully. I'm sharing it on Tumblr, but not out of any interest in interacting with the community one here; it's just for myself. Everything has inspired me to be more messy, and more open online because I just want to be sorrounded by things that are real...this shit's going to get real problematic and personal. Those who get it...you'll get it. If you don't? Oh well. In the meantime I'll probably go back onto mister-samsa to post JTHM thoughts [I'm still gonna use this blog], and be as retarded and mentally ill as possible, just to see how many fake ass followers I can lose.

It's called SPRING CLEANING!

#despite my bitching i'm fine #my boyfriend has been incredibly loving and supportive throughout this entire situation #trying to help me find the community he was able to when he was going through it #shit is just hard #i don't even really believe in a community that i could ever be apart of at this point #i'm a freak among freaks because even the weirdos of maniac tumblr are probably aware of this situation

[chargetheintruder]

[Dark]  So this is it?

Fair warning: this is me again, worried about the state of my society, the society of my state (in the United States of America), and just . . .well, what the fuck DO we have to do to have a future worth having here?

So yes, if you’re in Happy Futbowl Metric Land (the rest of Planet Earth) you’ll skip this like you do most of my posts.  And yes, if you’re not fond of weirdos being existential . . . wait, do you even know me?  Quick, name a mood of mine that ISN’T a) perving on small women from a distance, b) being existential and worried as fuck about the future, or c) my being a “Fanboy” badly because I’ve got to avoid (A) and (B) above at the same time, and Keep It Platonic Dammit, at all costs.  :)  You can’t, you say?  :-P  But if you somehow didn’t know I was existential and moody sometimes, what are you even doing here?

Moving on.  So.  These so-called “Republicans” are still nakedly Trumpist, nakedly nationalist at minimum, they BARELY have the House of Representatives, still DON’T have anything else and the Media’s all over the place acting like they’re KINGS as usual, when they’re largely just freaks and wannabe serial somethin’-somethins.  Some of that is “follow the money” logic, but it’s disturbing how people have just GIVEN UP on the idea that Trump and his will EVER be punished for one thing, that ordinary people like the rest of us will EVER get justice for one thing (a.k.a. Vast Student Debt Relief, for example), or that you know, the people who have WON will grow a pair and act like it, on behalf of the majority who VOTED for them.

Really, what the fuck does it take to get out from under the abuse fucknuts and their Idiot 28 Percent hanging out at QAnon Meetings over donuts and discount lobotomies?  What does it take to CATCH the neo-nazi bastards shooting up utility substations, just to attack people with power failures like a bunch of cowards from a Certain Peninsula?  What does it take to get civil society back?

(*sighs*)  Here’s something about me.  I don’t normally have nightmares about myself.  Those ended roughly when I was four or five years old, after I had a nightmare of catching a burglar, a home invader, threatening my mother with a gun.  In that dream, I got shot, in extreme slow motion.  I could see the bullet coming--and it was literally ALL I could do, time had stopped for everything else.  I couldn’t even blink as the bullet hit my head, spun into my head, drilled two-thirds of the way through my head slowly tearing my head apart piece by piece, and THEN I woke up screaming once the bullet got three-quarters of the way through. I haven’t had nightmares about myself since.  If things happen to me in a dream and I’m still breathing that’s my clue it’s a dream.  So I don’t get scared of what happens to me.  I HAVE however had plenty of nightmares of the End of the World, or of Societal Collapse and Ruin.  I do have nightmares of EVERYTHING Else dying.  And in fact most of my recurring dreams either are of this nature or they start off that way. And lately, I’ve had recurring nightmares of a Partial, Half-and-Half Societal Collapse.  So not immediately terrifying, but once I wake up and think about it, it gets troublesome.  And I’m thinking at least one or two of you who follow me, and who knows why you still do? but somebody could use an insight as to how fucked up life could get if life asked ME to save civil society, since nobody else cares to?  I don’t know.  That is insulting as fuck, let’s put it another way.

I know we’re all exhausted and worn down as hell three-plus years into a Two-Week Forever Fucking Plague.  I understand that.  Most people can barely save themselves week in and week out, month in and month out.  In that context maybe I should get used to the idea that I’m the only one left who more than half gives a damn?  But I can’’t really?  Yeah.

So my next post tonight is going to be me, dumping a nightmare of mine out into Tumblr in as much detail as I can muster.  Knowing my luck it’ll be lame by Typical Eeby Deeby standards but what do, almost nobody’s going to see this anyway, right?  Right?

#USA politics #nightmares #societal collapse #prelude #tw violent dream #tw gunshot in dream #existential

[sulcrafatejackets]

Hey I’ve got a question why does Mark Saderholm think that he is privy to other peoples organs?

I do have a cure for organ rejection I know what’s happening and I know exactly how it needs to be fixed but people like Mark Saderholm don’t wanna believe that as the truth because they believe that if push comes to shove they have the right also I believe Bryant felt the same way that if push comes to shove they can have an Asian and Asian man’s organs and that is where I called David Rigney and nobody around here knows who David Rigney is I reckon dang nobody around here knows who David fucking Rigney is don’t call me David I am myself kind of making me feel a little embarrassed actually I’m not him at all but I’m very changeable so that’s really fucked up he’s a lot meaner than I am probably I mean I’m serious I fucking like discriminate people against people like crazy I feel like if David Rigney decides that his son should have Mark Saderholm‘s organs because Mark is a douche bag and a last class white citizen in America why not Mark there is there isn’t it you don’t give a shit if you take my daddy or my brothers fucking organs because you think that you deserve a loved one inside your fucking ugly body

That’s about wearing Natasha no no I said that’s where Natasha says I think I fucked up Natasha that you fucked up in a couple of ways but no no I’m not talking about Tori Amos’s daughter I’m talking about Natasha Khan… Don’t look at me like that…

Well if Natasha Khan once Mark Saderholm‘s organs of the Oregon’s are his people oh dang for real you’re not his people what the fuck no Mark has ownership of nothing that’s why if you come from a very complicated background you have to just say no to white men because white men believe that they have oversteer privilege you understand what I’m saying girls… Everybody in Oregon actually knows that Mark Saderholm is a piece of dog shit do you guys think he’s fresh or anything like that I don’t think so either I mean I don’t think most of you are very fucking fresh either but a few of you are I wish I could afford the rent up there dang although I think if you call the right people you can sometimes get good deals I don’t know about all this inflation stuff though everybody’s trying to charge like thousands of dollars for rent to drive everybody out and then if you know somebody they’ll give you a good deal for a place nobody can afford anything anymore

Once upon a time a long long time ago wait what year was it? It was a year hot toddies were invented in India actually simultaneously those things happened in other places in the world kind a like the pyramids in a camera a box of light perhaps… A man like Mark Saderholm traveled across the ocean to get Oregon’s real cheap and he took the life of a grandmother’s father so that she could never ever feel any kind of warmth or goodness kind of like the Coco story but worse

So we decided about 98 years ago that we were going to get revenge did I pick the right number you think? I’ll have to maybe do a reference check but I’m gonna do this kind of from the back of my head right now we decided 98 years ago that we were going to get revenge against the white monsters who took from all of us they took from the white girls they took from the black girls they took from all girls lobotomies torture severe abuse severe control

Matt you are my friend rather than my enemies so you take off that shit that you’re wearing and you fix it adjust your pants you need to it’s a good idea but if you want Mark Saderholm’s kidney or something you just let me know OK all right well you know where to find me

Mr. Jacques the same but well you know what I am struggling with is that I haven’t been around a lot of the people I’ve needed to be around because I’ve been around all of these white pedophiles for all these years I’m still learning stuff I feel the way that I got mad at Janet bro for doing the white wash right like imagine that but even lighter it’s not a put on it’s just actually extremely embarrassing

#Matteo #mark Saderholm’s organs #drinkers smh #fear

[ghost-town-story]

FebruarOC Day 28: ....

(So Selo and I have this thing where I’ll send her a random sentence or two with no context and she goes from there and I’ve wanted to write a sequel to this since she sent it to me. Therefore, since I’m in a shitpost mood, Imma finally do that lol. Enjoy)

Original quote: "Nothing's ever going to be okay again," he wanted to say, but all that came out was sobs that wracked his body.

Selo’s version:  

"Nothing's ever going to be okay again," he wanted to say, but all that came out was sobs that wracked his body. Aiden sat on the porch, knees pulled into his chest. A tall stack of papers sat beside him. 

"What happened?" Will asked after a slight pause, walking to him from his car. Aiden was weird, and Will hated talking to him, but James wouldn't be home for a few hours and Aiden was like a scared, furious puppy with ADD. 

 "Gone," Aiden managed to say to him between hiccuped sobs. 

 "What's gone? What happened?" Will hurried to his side. Aiden buried his head in his knees. 

"I just-- gonna-- die," Will made out as Aiden struggled to explain. Will looked at the grocery bags and sighed. No way would he be able to put the ice cream away before it melted now. 

"Whose gonna die, Aiden?" Will asked, lightly patting Aiden's shoulder. 

"Nothing," Aiden cried. 

"Then why are you crying? Why did you say something is gonna die?" Will ran through the classic questions James had rehearsed with him. 'No vague questions or Aiden spirals,' Will remembered. 'In case of emergencies, feed him cold medicine. He thinks it gives him temporary telepathy and then he falls asleep.' 

"Nothing is gonna die!" Aiden continued, voice tinged with the madness only brought on by his unique brand of paranoia. Will sighed. His ice cream was not worth this. 

"Look, I can't help you if you don't explain." Will began to gather his things.

"No, Nothing," Aiden urged, gesturing to the stack of papers featuring a black and white photo of an overly fluffy cat. "Nothing went missing." Will closed his eyes. He sighed until he felt he'd been entirely voided of oxygen, until he felt his sanity crumble into dust. 

"Nothing is your cat." Will ran through several scenarios in which he never went to James's house and never spoke to Aiden in his head. He could have driven straight home. He could have stayed at the grocery store. He could have called that girl Amy and met at her place. He could've gotten a coffee. He could have drove himself to the hospital and requested a lobotomy. 

Aiden nodded tearfully and admired one of the Missing Posters. "I love him so much," he whispered. "He's all I have." 

"What about James, Aiden?" 

"...I guess," Aiden admitted reluctantly. 

"How did this happen?" Will asked, wanting to be anywhere but here. 

"It all began when I first got Nothing," Aiden began. 

"Fuck off, how did you lose Nothing?" Will specified, frustrated. 

"Well, this morning I was taking a shower. Well, I wasn't taking a shower so much as standing in the bathroom. Actually it was more like sitting in the bathroom across from the shower. You know what? I was just watching James take a shower." Will felt his soul die. Was this hell? Had he died driving home and been sent to hell? 

"Go on." 

"I got a little distracted, cause... you know. I mean, you're his twin so you know how rockin your bods are." 

"Stop." 

"So anyway I go downstairs all happy and stuff, and I decide to make James breakfast, like as a tip for the show." 

"Oh my God." 

"Well, I go out to the garden to get some basil for the omelet, and I left the door open, so the last thing I see is my baby Nothing darting off to the Neighbor's house. I try to catch him but by the time I get there Nothing is gone and my Neighbor is shouting at me that 'this is a public neighborhood' and to 'put my clothes on' god." 

"So you left the door open and Nothing got out." 

"Essentially yeah. Will you help me look for him?"

And the sequel: 

As the sun sank lower and lower in the sky, Will debated just dosing Aiden to finally quiet his insane ramblings, or going to the hospital to get that lobotomy, or both. It was only the thought that James would be back soon that kept Will relatively sane, because then he could dump Aiden on his brother and wash his hands of this whole damn mess. 

Aiden was teary-eyed as they met up again, still no sign of Nothing the cat. 

“Look,” Will started, trying to avoid giving Aiden a chance to start sobbing again. “James will be home soon. Let’s just, go inside and wait for him. Once he’s back then we can figure out another plan to find Nothing.” 

Read: Will was going to drop this mess like a hot potato. 

“Okay,” Aiden sniffed, letting Will drag him up the front path and through the front door. 

“Go… wash up or something.” Will shoved Aiden further into the house and sighed. His ice cream wasn’t worth this. His poor, innocent ice cream… 

Will was pulled out of his mourning by the door clicking open. 

“Hello darling!” James called into the house before seeing Will. “Oh! You’re still here Will.” 

“No shit,” Will hissed. “You wouldn’t let me just ditch him, so I had to wait for you to come home—what the hell are you holding?” 

“A surprise,” James said in a sing-song voice, struggling to close the door with his hands still behind his back.

 “Jesus fuck—” 

“James!” Aiden hurtled down the stairs and attacked James. “Nothing’s still missing,” he wailed. 

“I know darling.” James kissed the top of his head. “Can you let go though? I have a surprise for you.” 

Aiden sniffled, but did as James asked. 

James revealed a cat from behind his back. Specifically, the fluffiest goddamned cat Will had ever seen. Will glanced at the Missing Posters sitting on a nearby table. 

“Nothing!” Aiden squealed, snatching the cat from James’s arms. 

“You’ve had Nothing.” 

“Yup! Silly thing ended up wandering into work, so I figured I’d surprise Aiden when I got home.” 

Will was about three seconds away from slapping his brother. Or maybe murder. His ice cream was worth fratricide. 

“How long have you known Nothing wasn’t dead or missing?” 

“Oh, not long after I asked you to help Aiden.” James was still bubbly and cheerful. 

“And you didn’t tell me?” 

“See, I could have, but I wanted to surprise Aiden, so I needed somebody to take care of him for me till I could come home.” 

Will walked up to his twin and shoved his finger into his chest. “You owe me ice cream.” That wasn’t quite what he’d meant to come out of his mouth. 

James laughed. “I could make you dinner,” he offered with a wink. 

“I—” 

Will wanted away from this shitshow as fast as possible. Aiden was still clutching Nothing to his chest, whispering what sounded like sexual innuendos to the cat. The only thing stopping Will from saving the cat from its fate was the fact that the cat didn’t seem to mind Aiden’s tight grip. In fact, the cat just looked bored and resigned. 

You’re used to this craziness, Will thought, narrowing his eyes at the cat. 

“You owe me ice cream.” 

“Or dinner?” James raised his eyebrow. 

“Ice cream. Nothing less.” Will whirled around and stalked out the door. 

“Let me know when you’re coming by next, and I’ll have your ice cream for you,” James called. “And thanks Will!” 

Will spun around and flipped James off. “Fuck you!”

#writing #in which i write #februaroc #februaroc 2020 #... i will not apologize i am very in the mood to write crack fics rn #this is in no way typical for my characters but i'll take selo's interpretation and run with it here lol #(funnily enough. the original quote is actually said by aiden to james in astral lol)

[tessatechaitea]

Scarab #5

Scarab just learned how to use "whomst'd" correctly.

Maybe the sudden need for drugs was due to this character with my name trying to kill himself.

I hadn't actually gotten to the part where the guy notes he's on drugs or that he's surrounded by poppies so I think I just have to give credit to John Smith's writing for setting up a real "I'm fucking overdosing on pain killers" tone. Now I'm also jealous of a fictional nobody. If only I had too many painkillers right now, um, well, I'd probably never hit publish on this blog post and all five of my readers would be wondering, "When the fuck is Grunion Guy (or Tess (or Jeff (or whoever the fuck this asshole is))) ever going to finish reading Scarab?" According to my Non-Certified Sister-in-law, nutritionists have to report people for suicidal ideation. She told this to me because she's a nutritionist and I said to her one night at karaoke that my current retirement plan was to do whatever the fuck I wanted until my bank account was dry and then kill myself. But she never reported me so I guess she doesn't realize that's actually my retirement plan. Speaking of karaoke, I knocked another song off of my karaoke bucket list this week: "Like China" by Phil Collins. I fucked that song so hard on stage, some woman high-fived me and some other guy came up to me and thanked me for reminding him that the song exists. He was super drunk. Super drunk guys love me at karaoke. One time this guy whose name I believe was Creepy Kevin asked me, after I'd just sung "Everybody Knows," if I was doing it in the style of Leonard Cohen or Concrete Blonde. I said Concrete Blonde and he said, "Your voice really suits it." Which is when I stabbed him in the throat and tossed him in the dumpster out back with the leftover spring rolls from the night before because how dare he insult Johnette Napolitano! She has the voice of an angel and I have the voice of the person the angel walks on so that they don't have to get their feet dirty at the angel orgy. I know nobody is reading this and thinking, "What the fuck are you talking about?! What has happened to Scarab this issue?! Has Eleanor found her way home?!" How many people even remember that this comic book ever existed?! I just read four issues of it a week and a half ago and I almost forgot it existed! This issue is called "Paradise Defiled" which I just read although maybe my subconscious read it earlier (due to the comic being opened to that page and just sitting there on the scanner) which is why I was thinking about angel orgies. This guy Jeff is somebody Louis knows. An old woman — maybe his mother? — phones Louis to ask if he's seen him. So that's how Scarab gets involved with Jeff's suicidal problem. Meanwhile, Eleanor is sprouting ecotoplasmic rivulets. It's super gross. But this issue isn't about Scarab and Eleanor! At least I don't think it is. It's about Jeff waking up from his pleasant and relaxing overdose to find himself in an afterlife torture garden sex party. He totally hates it and I understand why. The place is first described as "a literal incarnation of a littoral world" and I have to stop myself from Googling "home lobotomy." The first tortured sex victim he meets is a guy strapped to a wheel with a bunch of knives in him spouting "Vertigo phrases." I explained "Vertigo phrases" in a previous commentary (or all of my previous Vertigo commentaries maybe?) but for those who somehow just stumbled upon this commentary because "every blog post is somebody's first" (although why Scarab #5 would be somebody's first is beyond comprehension), here's a nice example of "Vertigo phrasing."

It doesn't have to mean anything. It just needs to sound weirdly profound while making the reader feel like a real fucking smarty pants.

Jeff is taken to some Herod-like angel named Lord Colouris. He's also a bit like a cross between John Lennon and Jabba the Hutt. Did I just describe David Crosby? Lord Colouris declares he's going to make a new man out of Jeff and I don't think he means it figuratively. In the middle of the Garden stands the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. It bears the fruit of truth and whispers as skulls pile up beneath it from those feeding on its devastating pronouncements. Also, I sort of agree with what it's saying here:

Ninety-eight percent of this blog is me screaming from the anguish of losing the bliss of nonexistence.

Not that I think I'm evil. Nor do I believe in souls. But that whole anguish over the loss of nonexistence? That hits me fucking hard, bro. Look, it even made me call you bro. I'm hurting here, dude. See? I said dude too! The rest of what the tree says is meaningless gobbledygook. Something about sex tearing the flanks of God and a snake jerking it into a pot of clay like my junior high school classmate Chris Huff beating off in a breadbox. Maybe it makes sense to guilt-ridden Catholics but it's all wasted on me. I'm just wondering if I should do a Google search on a snake ejaculating. I've done it before for bats and let me tell you: there's a great video of a bat at a zoo sucking itself off in front of some kids! Truly a work of art. So privileged to live in this modern age and able to experience such wonders of this world! Lord Colouris turns Jeff into a monstrosity because he's trying to reform the lost souls that wind up in the Garden of Pain into his image before he fell from Heaven. But he can't do it because everybody who enters the Garden is tainted by their boring and uncreative lives. To finally make a work of art equal to his previous state of being, Lord Colouris releases all of his Frankenstein monsters into the world to hunt down a truly innocent and beautiful person who can provide the raw material for Lord Colouris's sculpture. Jeff is now one of them. Being uncreative morons, the monsters raid nurseries all over New York. Idiots. How many babies does it take to create an angel? Probably like millions! Some of the monsters seek out Eleanor because her leaking bodily fluids smell succulent and, I guess, virginal? I don't know. Like I said, she's gross. I hope they take her. Instead of Eleanor, the monsters accidentally take Scarab back to the Garden where he's quickly defeated by Colouris with a tree grown up through his guts. Then Scarab, like a true super hero, remembers that he can't be defeated if he just summons one last burst of strength and hope to overcome his enemy! Which he totally does by biting Lord Colouris's tongue off (because Lord Colouris was doing naughty things to Scarab. So naughty that I was embarrassed to discuss them). Then he punches Colouris in the throat and he barfs up the keys to all of his monsters' souls. Plus the key to his own soul which Monster Jeff helps Scarab find. Scarab recognizes him and thinks, "Fuck. Okay, I guess I'll just have to tell Jeff's mother he's dead." Then Scarab sticks the key in Colouris's head and the Garden dissolves into an empty room with a ticking metronome. That probably makes really smart people go, "Holy fuck! That's fucking brilliant! What a great reference or theory or idea or intelligent bit of philosophical scat!" And, um, that's totally what I said too. I'm not one of those morons who don't understand Vertigo comic books. Pshaw! Can you even believe uncool losers like that exist?! Scarab #5 Rating: You know how many things I had to look up on the Internet while reading this comic book? At least two! Maybe more but even two is a lot! Remember, I first read this in 1993 when most people didn't have Internet (and those that did were spending their time in AOL and Prodigy chat rooms with names like "Horoscope Lovers" and "Remember The A-Team?!"). So that's two things I definitely didn't understand when I read it the first time because you can believe that I was too lazy to pick up a dictionary in the middle of reading a comic book. And that's even assuming that I'm the type of person to own a dictionary! Man, stop embarrassing yourself with your lousy assumptions!

#Scarab #Vertigo #DC Comics #DC #Scot Eaton #John Smith

[rpchive]

120th Encounter-- The Starlit Song

An hour or so after returning to the IT, Collin steps into the console room to see if the others returned with the freed shadows from earlier. Maya is seated in the console room with the three former shadows and Azreldeh. Collin: I thought I'd find you guys here. So what's the story? Azreldeh: Well, with the mirror dimension gone, any curses tied to it were lifted, but also everything in that dimension had to go somewhere...

Maya: Seems like the population of this dimension doubled in an instant, but none of the reflections appeared anywhere near their counterparts. Since yours were already here, though, they weren't sent anywhere else... Collin: Well that's... awkward. So what do you guys think? You're gonna have to excuse me if I'm being kind of blunt, but I'm not exactly comfortable with just... letting them all move in. Maya: I mean, they're...right here. I guess they can decide to live wherever they want? We can take 'em where they wanna go, and from there it's not our problem anymore. Collin: That works for me if it works for you three.

SCollin: Your hospitality is first-rate, truly.

Collin: Look, I've got a lot on my mind right now. I'm just trying to get y'all somewhere nice where no one is going to mistake us for you three. SJay: ...It's fine. We shouldn't be here anyway. I don't care where you take us, just...anywhere is fine. Collin: I mean, give us some idea. The IT's got a lot of possibilities. Hot, cold, crowded, quiet?

SDaedalus: Somewhere that isn't so depressing and bleak would be a nice change of pace, so that should be a pretty easy requirement to meet.

Collin: ... Alright, I guess just touch down somewhere where there's a decent town or something? Maybe they'll help take them in or at least get them started.

He stops to think for a second before continuing. "Should we... give them some way to get a hold of us in case there's an emergency? I'd feel bad if we put them somewhere where they just wound up in danger again."

Maya: ...I don't know if the finished communicators we have work at a frequency that can cross time; space; and dimensions...

Azreldeh: Well, bring me one and I'll make it work out. We'll just need one to replace it with, but I'm sure XL and Rio are done by now... Collin: I left mine back in my room. Let me just... go get it real quick.

He hesitates partway through his words as he realizes what that means, but continues on. Without waiting for a response, he turns and heads back down the hall for his room.

He pushes open the door and steps inside, meeting Jay's stare as he turns to see who's coming inside. Collin briefly considers trying to say something to him but fails to come up with any words, instead breaking eye contact to turn toward his desk. He steps over and quickly picks up his communicator, then turns and heads back out of the room, quietly closing the door behind him. He takes a deep breath during his walk back to the console room, then gently tosses the device in Azreldeh's direction as he returns. "Heads up." Azreldeh catches the communicator, which crackles in her grip briefly as it glows a faint red for a second before she hands it off to Collin's reflection. "That should do it. Wherever you wind up, if you need us, we'll hear it. ...Assuming you call." SCollin: We'll... try to keep to ourselves for now. If we wind up getting stranded in a cave or some shit, you might wind up hearing from us soon. 'Course you could just ignore it...

SDaedalus: I don't think they would've bothered giving us something if that was their plan. Maya: I'll get this thing moving somewhere, then. In the meantime, I guess you can do what you want...just don't get into trouble, of course. SCollin: I'll try my best. Is that a kitchen over there? Maya: Yep. With any food you can think of; and plenty more you can't. SCollin: Oh thank fuck, some actual decent food. FaWKES didn't exactly have the most varied palette. If you'll excuse me...

SCollin casually hops up and heads inside the kitchen. A while later, Maya successfully lands the IT at an unfamiliar destination. Once the group determines their surroundings are safe, they part ways with the shadow counterparts, leaving the normal crew to their current devices. Collin: ... I do hope they'll be alright. It's gotta be hard after suddenly getting cut loose like that. Maya: ...I doubt they have much experience with nature or people. Any environment would be hard to adapt to. Still, without the overbearing sense of wickedness and without anyone forcing them to do things, I figure they're resourceful enough to figure things out on their own... Collin: And if things get too dicey, they could always just call us to bail them out of whatever trouble they've gotten into. I didn't want to leave them entirely stranded; I just... can't really focus on a lot right now. Azreldeh: No, I understand. I'm sure they would too...at least, to some degree. What're you gonna do...? You can't just avoid your room forever... Collin: I... don't know. I'll be honest, the way Jay is right now, he... scares me a little. It's like he's not even the same person, just some stranger saying he's my boyfriend. I don't know what to expect from him now. Maya: ...I don't think that's the case. I've seen cases like that before; abnormalities that replaced employees and walked around in their skin, or remotely controlled them like playthings, but this seems...different. The coldness in his voice; it doesn't sound like he's a different person, it sounds like he's distancing himself; but...it's not exclusively that...that's undoubtedly Jay himself, but it also feels unfamiliar, yet not caused by an outside force...I think something's changing...something's definitely wrong, we just don't know specifically what that could be... Collin: I'm not really sure if that's better or worse... Maya: What I'm trying to say is that he needs help. He might not be scared at all, but something terrible is happening to him, and all we've done is...get angry, or hide...somebody has to do something...whatever's happening is clearly something big. If we can't fix it, I don't know what will happen...nobody even bothered trying to get through to him when he started acting weird...did...did you leave him alone? Collin: I mean, he was in our room a bit ago when I went to get that communicator? Maya: But he was alone, wasn't he? Collin: Y-Yeah... I should probably go back, shouldn't I? Maya gets out of her chair and immediately starts going down the hallway. "...Why is nobody else-?!" Collin immediately hurries after her. "Well Demo is probably still out of it and Daedalus is... y'know..." Maya: That's his problem!! Jay is your saa! Jay is your saa!! He's your boyfriend; something is happening to him, and you just...!! You don't even understand what losing somebody feels like, do you?!

Barreling forward, Maya practically breaks the door down as she rams her weight into it on her way into the room.

"...JAY!!"

At the back of the room, Jay stands alone, a gate open to a vaguely familiar location behind him; a place looking similar to the cobalt dimension. As he turns to face the group, two things become apparent: the shell around his injured arm has cracked away completely, now revealing his magic, an electric shade of blue that shifts closer to teal on occasion; and that red markings have slowly begun to snake up the sides of his face, curvy things vaguely shaped like clouds. His eyes, more of a cloudy blue than the vibrant color they had been before, rest on no one in particular, as if him turning his attention to the noise was simply a formality.

"...Don't bother worrying now. Changing things after they matter doesn't change anything at all."

Leaving nobody time to respond, he steps through the gate, which closes behind him like water going down a drain, leaving the room in darkness. Collin looks as though he's about to be sick, stepping close enough to his desk to lean against it as he continues to stare at where his gate was. A few seconds later he finally manages to choke out a few shaky words. "Oh God... What's happening to him?" Maya stands in the doorway, her breathing heavy and ragged as a multitude of reactions race through her mind, each bubbling up like a volcano's reaction desperately attempting to win the race to the surface. Collapsing her weight against it, she begins to shake as she forces some form of response out. Her words carry an incredible amount of weight as she audibly chokes back either tears or anger. "...If we can't make somebody tell us what's happening, we're going to tear through their entire library if it means finding out ourselves. We can't let him go like this. We have to stop this now..." Collin: I... I don't... K-Karumet... We need to get Karumet back. Maybe she'll know what's happening to... Maya: ...I'll get us back to her. You just...do what you have to.

Shoving herself off the door facing, Maya leaves for the console room, leaving Collin alone. Collin shifts slightly and sits down on his desk, staring a hole into the floor in front of him. Tears well up in his eyes, although he fights them off for several minutes. Finally, just as he's about to reach his limit, he swears loudly and scatters everything on his desk to the floor. Spinning around, he charges out of the door and storms down the hall toward the pantheon's room. He throws their door open without hesitation, glaring at a very surprised Ezorius as he breathes out one demand through gritted teeth and burning eyes.

Collin: I need my magic back. Now. Some time later, the IT lands back in the place Lobotomy had once stood. Surprised, but not stunned, Karumet greets whoever comes to the door. Collin stands on the other side, more composed but strikingly more serious in his expression than normal. "We need your help. Jay's... changed. His magic color changed, he has strange red lines forming on his face, and his personality is... completely different. He abandoned us not too long ago and we have no idea what's going on. Can you help us?" Karumet's expression sours as she frowns for a moment in confusion.

"...His magic and personality changed...? Was he exhaling any?" Collin: Yeah, it was yellow at the time, but when he left his arm was blue. Do you know something, then? Karumet: ...His injured arm, the shell on it broke, didn't it? And it was blue, despite his own magic being yellow? And now all of his magic is blue...I haven't seen this since the war, I--...

Maya: Please, I really don't care about exposition, what the hell is wrong with him?! Just come out with it!!

Karumet: ...He's becoming shalvenn.

Collin: ... Fuck, fuck, fuck! Part of me kept thinking that was what was happening, but-... Nevermind. What do we do? Karumet: From what you've told me, it's unclear if he's sacrificing his mind or his body, but either way, it sounds like something's deteriorating...I don't think he'll wind up like Avarice, but...this is still in its early stages; despite how it looks, we can still turn this around. I'd compare his current state to being...lost in a fog, or something. It's hard to get out, but if you know what to do...

She seems to remember the original question at about this time.

"...The starlit song. It's the only thing any kleivenn's been able to do that saved a shalvenn. But it's been so long since the war, and I personally haven't heard it...but Nine might know..." Collin: Alright... Then we need to get to Kujaar. But even with the song, how're we going to find him? The place his gate was leading to, it looked the same as how it does inside his mind. But that's... not possible, right? Azreldeh: Weeeeellll...

Wringing her tail nervously, Azreldeh glances around as she starts to babble.

"With the mirror dimension gone, the demons inhabiting it needed to be relocated; but hell's a place reserved for devils; souls; familiars and the like; and the in between only has chaos agents; and well, we can't go to heaven, so...well, since we couldn't go topside, we needed somewhere else to go, and since Jay was trying to create a new dimension, and he technically had the structure for one, the agents of the in between must've...made...it...real?" Collin stares blankly for a second, then covers his face with his hands as he exhales slowly. "This is, unquestionably, a complete disaster. Do I even want to know how you know that?" Azreldeh: W-well, it's happened before is all...! But I wasn't around for that... Collin: That's a little crazy to think about. Anyway... Can you come back with us, Karumet? Or is there still stuff you need to take care of here? Karumet: I can come back. It seems like the people here are adjusting well enough, and nothing escaped Lobotomy, so I think things will be alright... Collin: We can always come back to check on things, or maybe the IT will just drag us back if something goes sideways. Regardless, it'll be good to have you back. I'm... sorry things aren't more like they usually are when we came back to get you, though. Karumet: Seriously? You're worried about how I feel? ...We need to figure out that song... Collin: Right. Let's get moving to Kujaar then. Hopefully Nine really does know about that song...

Returning to the IT, the group heads for Kujaar, where they find Nine in their usual location.

Nine: Nice t' see ya ag'n! Though, if yer here, I doubt it's fer a good reason; y'all never jus' visit... Collin: Sorry, it's just... always hectic. But you're right, it's not good news. Jay is turning shalvenn, and apparently the starlit song is the only thing that can help him now. Do you know it? Nine: ...Never a dull momen', 'uh...? I's been a while since I've seen a kleivenn that wasn' damaged b'yond help, so I migh' not remember it all...lessee...

Though the sun may rise, And the moon may fall; We're carrying on With our starlit song...

Through hardships, And friendships, We've gone through it all;

Ehh...somethin'....sentimental? What goes here...

Though the moon may rise, And the sun may fall; We'll keep carrying on With our starlit song... Collin: I don't mean to pressure you, but... you do remember it, right? Nine: Ehhhh, it was...what was it...?

Somethin', somethin'; The rise and the fall... Collin: Nine, you're killing me here. Nine: Hey, you remember somethin' after several thousands of years without needin' to!! Collin: I'm not even-!

He stops himself and closes his eyes for a second, forcing himself to try and slow down. "... Okay, I'm sorry. But if you don't know the song, then who does?" Nine: I's jus' the one line. I bet Holly'd know; she writes everythin' down. Collin: Speaking of that, I'm probably gonna need a copy of it too... So I just need to read it to him and he'll go back to normal? Nine: It ain't that easy. If a kleivenn's gone shalvenn, i's 'cause somethin' made 'em go against their drivin' wish real hard. Tha's what breaks 'em so badly; they see the thing they're made for as inherently wrong, an' if they don't wanna live for wha' they're made t' live for, then they ain't gonna live for it, no matter what that means for 'em. If you want him back, you gotta find out wha's wrong. The starlit song, it offers clarity; it cuts through wha's wrong and brings 'em back t' their senses, but in the end, yer th' only thing standin' between yer saa 'n whatever happens next.

as intense as this arc is I really do like just having this lore out here

Collin: But Jay's wish is... Oh God, what did I do...? Nine: Tha's jus' somethin' y' gotta ask 'im. Hurry t' Holly; I know you can reach out ta him. Collin: ... Okay. Thanks for your help, and... sorry for always being a downer.

He goes ahead and leaves Nine's room and heads for Holly's library. Holly is up at the receptionist desk, waiting for Iris to finish loading a cart full of books that need to be relocated. Blinking against the sunlight that filters in as Collin enters the library, Holly squints in his direction.

"...The human boy; Collin, wasn't it? You're back again...I take it there's another incident on your hands. You children are far too young to be shouldering so many burdens..." Collin: I'm starting to think you might be right. I... need the starlit song. Nine can't remember the whole thing, but they said you'd probably have it written down or something. Holly flashes a grim expression before climbing down from Iris' shoulder, Iris giving Collin a sympathetic look before shifting her attention to Holly, who is opening a cabinet behind the front desk. Pulling out a dusty scroll, she unfurls it atop the desk, revealing the aged Chariot upon it.

"Though the sun may rise, And the moon may fall; We're carrying on With our starlit song

Through hardships, And friendships, We've gone through it all;

The taken, The given, The rise and the fall;

Though the moon may rise, And the sun may fall; We'll keep carrying on With our starlit song.

I remember the lullaby all too well; a song passed down through generations to every scribe, sung throughout centuries to make its way to the unfortunate, lost souls that need it most. I pray you can make use of it well..."

this is just one of those random things I’ve sang in the shower a handful of times out of nowhere; but this one always came back with the same words for me

I’d sing it but I don’t think anyone’d want to hear it after knowing what it’s needed for

but first and foremost; it’s a kleivenn lullaby. it’s something everyone’s heard their entire lives, something sang for comfort, passed down throughout generations, and that’s what makes it so impactful

Collin: I really hope so. Would you mind copying that down on something I can take with me? And uh... that I can read? Iris: Oh, leave it to me! I'll have it written up in a minute! You just worry about finding out what to do next, okay? I'll bring it to your ship when I'm done. Seeing you off is the least I can do. Collin: Alright. Thanks for everything, you two. Holly: Anything we can do to help, we will. You just worry about yourselves, alright? Collin: It's hard to even think about anything else right now, honestly. Anyway, I'll be back at the IT.

He gives them a small wave and heads back for the others at the IT.

Iris reaches the IT with the starlit song's translation transcribed upon her paper of choosing. Seated coiled up at the door, she offers the note to Collin. "Be careful out there, okay? We'll all be here when you get back!"

Collin takes the copy from her and glances over it for a second. "Thanks Iris. Uh, one last thing, actually. Is this still going to work if I read it in English? If this only works in Chariot, I'm gonna need a pronunciation guide or something." Iris: As long as he can understand you, it should work. The words carry the magic of kleivenn as a whole, after all. Collin: Good to know. Hopefully things won't be so, uh, rough the next time we're here. Iris: Hopefully so! You haven't even had the chance to really explore Kujaar, after all... Collin: No kidding. Anyway, I- we don't really have time to waste. Take care, alright? Iris: You too! Collin gives a small wave and then heads back inside the IT with the others, reading the paper in his hands over and over again. Sitting at the console, Nydins turns around to face Collin. "...When do you want to try and find him?" Collin: The sooner, the better. I don't really know how long it's going to be before Jay...

His voice trails off for a second, unable to finish the thought. He quickly changes gears instead and continues. "I just need some time to try and memorize this as best as I can. I guess the real question is how long will it take to get to... whatever we wanna call that place Jay went?" Nydins: The IT can't track where he's gone; it can't recognize him in his current state; but it can track the demons from Azreldeh's district, and all of them are in the same dimension. I don't know entirely how long it'll take, but we'll probably be able to find him in the same day. Collin: It'll have to do. I'm gonna be in my room for a little bit so I can focus. Nydins: That's fine. I'll send someone to let you know when we've landed, then. Collin: Thanks. You guys know where to find me, then.

He heads down the hall for his room, occasionally glancing at the paper. [Meanwhile...] Daedalus continues pacing back and forth in his room as he has been for the past several minutes. Every so often, he pauses to fiddle with a tool or piece of material, but his fuming attitude prevents him from focusing on any specific thing for very long. Demo: ...Are you seriously that upset still? He only threw me... Daedalus: That's not the only thing he did...

he borrowed Demo’s powers! it’s something Jay’s never done before, but he’s always capable of. he just didn’t know he could do it. he could probably do that to anyone with magic tbh

but none of that really hurt her or anything, so idk why he’s so upset

Demo: ...I know, but...something's definitely wrong with him right now. I'm not sure what, but I can't hold it against him knowing something's happening... Daedalus: I know something's wrong with him, but...

He trails off for a second before finally letting out a frustrated growl and presses the heel of his palm in between his eyes.

"The fact that I can't even be mad at him for the shit he said back there just makes me even more mad." Demo: ...I know. You have every right to be. Regardless, he'll be sorry for everything he's doing now, like he always is...so don't stay too mad... Daedalus lets out a deep breath as he puts both hands down on a workbench and leans against it. "I'll... try my best. I make no promises if he keeps running his mouth the next time we see him, though." Demo: ...You're free to fight him, but if we have to...

Her voice trails off for a second.

"...If it really comes down to it...I'll be the one to...handle him..." Daedalus looks back over at Demo, raising an eyebrow in concern as he stands back upright. "Geez, I know he's kinda gone nutty but it can't be that bad, right?"

it isn’t a rapid process; Avarice was proof of that. she started the human-kleivenn war and she was still alive, just horrendously decayed; so realistically, no matter how far gone he was, Jay would still be himself to some degree for several decades

Demo: ...I don't know what's wrong, but...I really can't shake this feeling...he's definitely getting worse wherever he is... Daedalus walks over toward Demo, carefully putting one hand on her shoulder. "Look... We'll find him, knock some sense back into him, and get him back here safe and sound, alright? You guys have done it before, we can do it again." Demo: ...Right. We should probably get back out there, huh...? Daedalus: Probably, yeah. Maybe someone knows what's going on now. Seems like we're moving again, at the very least. The group readying to confront Jay slowly gathers in the console room. Rio and Paprika remain to keep Nydins company, while Maya; Karumet; Echo and Demo wait for Daedalus and Collin to be ready Soon enough, Daedalus steps into the console room to meet the others, followed shortly by Collin and Fawkes.

Fawkes: I hope you don't mind me tagging along. Collin told me what was happening when I ran into him earlier. Rio: The more the merrier, right? Though this...probably won't be very fun.

Paprika: Well, we'll just have to make it better when you bring Jay home, of course! Collin: That... sounds like a plan to me.

His attempt at trying to reciprocate their optimism falls somewhat flat due to the concern that he can't keep out of his expression. He fidgets with the collar of his robe as he waits for the IT to finally land. As the IT touches down, Demo is apprehensively the first to exit. The cobalt dimension remains in a similar state to before, however none of the cobalts themselves seem to be anywhere around the IT, which has landed halfway up the tower. Out the window, Demo notes that Jay's oracle is nowhere to be seen against the dark sky. As the others follow her out, Collin glances around nervously. "I thought being here the first time was bad enough, but somehow this place feels even stranger now." Demo: ...I don't even wanna ask your girlfriend if her "buddies" got here first. The state Jay was in, I wouldn't take him off the table either...

Echo: Seriously? Jay? I know he's acting weird, but do you think he'd just...kill people over it?

Karumet: You're vastly underestimating the situation. There's no telling how far this has advanced; and it's clear that whatever state he's in is volatile...what he wants at this point wouldn't change the cobalts. They exist for Jay's magic, for his proper cognition...as he is, they're helpless punching bags... Collin: Let's not think too hard about that yet, okay? He was at the top of this thing last time, so that's probably where he'll be again, right? Demo: ...Hopefully. I don't really wanna wander around out here... Collin: Sounds like we're on the same page then. C'mon, we don't have any time to waste.

He turns and hurries up the stairs to the next level. For several floors, there is nothing else in the cobalt complex. Near the higher floors, however, there are blatant signs of a struggle, ultimately leading to several of the cobalts having been killed, many of them having their throats cut. Maya's cobalt seems to be the only one who is even remotely left alive, severely injured, but not mortally so. Propped up against the wall, she breathes slowly and heavily, glaring at the group as they climb the stairs.

"...You're a little late, superman...there's barely anyone left to save...Demo chased him...to the roof...Collin and Tori are up there too, but...if we're any indication, then...they won't be much better off..."

She hunches over, coughing up blood before leaning back up against the wall.

"...I don't know what you're pulling out your ass...but you better make it count..."

Jay silenced all the cobalts because their counterparts never said anything to try and help him

Maya was the only one who did, so hers just got beaten within an inch of her life because she tried to stop him

Collin's breathing falters as he takes in the scene in front of him. Putting up one hand to his throat, he takes several seconds to calm down enough to respond.   "I... I will. I promise." CMaya: ...Don't let him get you too. I don't know what he's thinking, but...it's not right... Collin: ... I know. I'll make this right, just... please, hang on.

He hurries onward, Fawkes following closely behind him. The group reaches the roof of the building, where Jay stands over cobalt Collin, who he has pinned to the roof like an insect with several of his spears.

Across the rooftop is Cobalt Demo, who is kneeling beside Tori. Bound with chains and gagged with what appears to be a torn, red bandanna, Tori nervously looks at the group and struggles to say something that she cannot convey around the fabric.

Jay's outfit has changed significantly since the last time he was seen; taking on a more formal appearance with a cloak, boots, and slacks, all the blue of his dimension. His dulled, icy stare levels with Collin's as he comes into view.

"...You kept me waiting...again."

something like this

He shifts his gaze to Fawkes. "Come to let me down one last time, I see." Collin: No, Jay. We're here to help you. We're your friends, remember? alienrabitt: My friends? My friends wouldn't have done this to me! My friends wouldn't have let this happen!! Collin: That's why we're here, Jay. It's going to be okay.

He takes a deep breath and then begins the first part of his song, forcing himself to meet Jay's cold stare.

"Though the sun may rise, And the moon may fall; We're carrying on With our starlit song..." Summoning forth a wall of spears, Jay flinches as Collin begins to sing.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?! That...that won't stop me!"

He unleashes his spears upon the group. Fawkes lunges forward in front of the others as his arm transforms into its shield configuration. However, his shield is now a bright yellow, and crackles like an electric lantern. Jay's spears crash against it, one after the other, but none manage to break through his defense.

Fawkes: I won't fail you again, Jay! Even if it means stopping you right now!

Collin's song continues, now louder to be heard over Fawkes and his shield.

"Through hardships, And friendships, We've gone through it all;

The taken, The given, The rise and the fall..." Gritting his teeth, Jay summons even more spears, many of which he seems to intentionally overshoot beyond the shield. One by one, the spears stuck in the ground create lines of magical currents, slowly branching out to connect to each other, slowly closing in on the group. Daedalus: Oh no you don't!

A flaming sword clangs into form in his hands,which he drives straight into the ground. Searing lines of flame shoot outward in several directions, weaving in between spears that have not yet connected and piercing through some connections that already exist. "No more spear shit, you're in timeout now!"

Collin reaches the last verse, tears starting to brim in his eyes and squeeze his voice. Balling his hands into white-knuckled fists, he powers through his words anyway, desperate to reach out to Jay.

"Though the moon may rise, And the sun may fall; We'll keep carrying on With our starlit song!" Jay's spears abruptly vanish as he falls to his knees, breathing heavily. Shakily, he speaks.

"...Why did you...why did you come here?" Having finally finished the song, Collin untenses ever so slightly as he takes a few small steps towards Jay. Fawkes deactivates his barrier as the weapons disappear, although he stands ready to act if Jay makes any sudden moves. Collin swallows once, then takes a deep breath before finally speaking.

Collin: Jay, do you not... You're becoming shalvenn! If I don't do something to help you, I'll... I'll lose you forever! We're here because we want to help you! I don't care what it takes, I'll do anything if it means you'll come back to us! alienrabitt: ...I...I did this to myself. I deserve it, after everything that's happened, after everything I messed up...! I can't just keep going on like I haven't done anything...! Collin: Everyone makes mistakes, Jay! You don't deserve any of this! Half the problems we've had recently were because of bad decisions that I made, but... that's not worthy of a death sentence, right? Why would it be any different for you? alienrabitt: It wasn't just recently, it was a lot of things over time...so many incidents...so many people got hurt...and when I became a hermes...I...I was so selfish. I could've done anything. I could've saved the humans that took me in; I could've spared Gossip from being tortured by that horrible city; hell, I could've made everything there better so that nobody had to be hurt or killed, but all I could think about was...

He pauses for a minute, glaring at the ground. Taking in slow, deep breaths, he hisses out "...But the only thing I've ever been able to think about was you. All I've ever done has been for you. You said you wanted to make me happy; we've been fighting for everyone's freedom; so then why...?

“You severed yourself from the pantheon so that I would be comfortable with you, but the problem wasn't them...why? Why? All you needed to do was tell me that you didn't need me anymore; why don't you understand?! Even when I can't fight for you, I've only ever been your sword, your tool! You have never seen me as a person!

“I deserve this! I deserve this wicked deterioration; I deserve this slow, painful, merciless death! Anything I could do to myself is better than spending another waking moment knowing that, even though I have sacrificed everything I'd ever had, it still wasn't enough to make you let me go...if you didn't come here to kill me, just leave me behind; I'll do this just like I've done everything else, by myself..." Collin: J-Jay... What're you talking about? I've never seen you as anything less than a person! I tried everything I could to prove that I cared about you! I would move mountains if I had to for you! You saved my life, why would I ever not want you to be a part of my life? When... When have I ever seen you as just something for me to use?! Tell me so I'll never make you feel that way again! alienrabitt: You didn't let me go!! You saw me doing everything I could for you, knowing I was literally born to do it, and you never once asked if I could do anything else! I don't even know if how I feel about you is how I feel!

Just...just because you don't have anything else doesn't mean you had to take everything I had...! I had a family...I wasn't even human; by all accounts, I would've never been able to experience that. Hundreds upon thousands of years, I saw countless families, but I never understood, and once, just once, I could. I had something precious to me; something truly irreplaceable, and it...it was taken from me right in front of me, I was left helpless as innocent people were murdered in cold blood all because I was reborn for you; all because I had to wait for you!

And then I died, and I had it, I had the chance to bring them back, and you...! You...!! You ruined everything for me! How can you stand here, and look at me, and in front of everyone we know, say so honestly that you cared, that you'd do anything for me? You don't even ask me if I'm doing what I want to do; you just let me act without thinking, and it's cost me everything...! And it's cost you everything...! How could you...?! How could you?!

I feel so cold reading this

Collin: I.... I.....

He breaks down into tears, dropping to his knees. "I... I didn't know! I never wanted you to suffer! I didn't even know I was wishing you into existence! When you made your wish to be tied to me, I just... I thought this was what you wanted! How was I supposed to know that you were suffering all this time?" alienrabitt: I didn't know...what was wrong...or even what to say. By the time I realized it, everything was already...my arm was...there wasn't anything I could do...I'm so sorry... Collin: ... What can we do now? It's not too late to pull this back. We can still save you, start from the beginning... You don't have to be tied to me anymore. I... honestly never wanted you to be. I've only ever wanted you to be free... alienrabitt: I don't know...this isn't like changing my driving wish, this is something...bigger...I don't know if we can fix it... Collin: Then what can? All I want is for you to be able to live and be happy. You don't deserve this... Karumet: Phoenix; Mother of the Saas. Undoubtedly, after stopping Xentrilis, she and Nine still owe us something...it's the only way to do this without losing him. Collin: ... Jay, please. Come back with us so we can help you... alienrabitt: I...I don't know how long I'll stay how I am...the song you sang can't last forever...

Karumet: If it lasts to Kujaar, it'll be all we need. Collin: We just have to hurry. Please, Jay... Jay wordlessly dispels his remaining spears and releases Tori from her restraints. Yanking the bandanna out of her mouth, Tori shoves herself upright. "...He'll go." Taking that as an invitation, Collin slams his hands together with a deafening clap, and in an instant everyone who isn't a cobalt finds themselves back inside the console room of the IT. Shoving himself up to his feet, he spins to face Nydins and speaks with an unrecognizable tone. "Nydins, get us to Kujaar and Phoenix. Now." Nervously spinning in her chair, Nydins immediately sends off the IT. "O-okay...!!" Collin: This isn't fast enough!

He steps over to the console, tears still running down his face, and slaps one hand on its side. The IT's engine changes pitch dramatically as the ship's speed rapidly begins to increase. The IT rumbles to a halt as it collides with its destination, the door swinging open on impact. Collin staggers slightly as he lets go of the console, quickly catching himself as he stands back upright. Through slow, shuddering breaths, Collin looks back to Jay to speak. "C'mon... We're almost there..." The pair enters Kujaar, where Nine is already waiting, curious about their landing.

"Never seen you guys rush like that--...Jay..."

They get a bit closer, but still stay at a distrusting distance.

"Your...everythin' is...how're you...? ...We...we have to help...Phoenix 's still where I left 'er..." Collin: Please, you have to get us to her! She's the only one that can help him! With a grim nod, Nine heads back towards Phoenix's location. Deep beneath Kujaar, Phoenix remains, patient as ever. As Jay enters her chamber, Phoenix immediately lowers to turn her attention to him.

"A shalvenn...no, not quite yet...I never thought we'd get the chance...we can still save him...what do you need?" Collin: I... I'm not even sure anymore. I think it's... It's our connection with each other. It's constantly putting pressure on him and... He doesn't need to be tied to me like this. With a soft nod, Phoenix removes Jay's oracle, taking it into their claws and flooring him instantly. As the oracle is surrounded in an opalescent light, Phoenix addresses Jay personally.

"...With your soul unclouded, speak your honest desire, and fulfill the destiny you've chosen..."

alienrabitt: ...The only thing...the /only/ thing I've wanted is to make it all right...I want somewhere safe to come back to, no matter what...but I need the power to protect it...no matter what...I don't want to exist for anyone or anything but myself...I just need whatever it takes...to stand up for the things I want to protect...

Phoenix: Then your wish; ultimately; will be granted throughout.

There is a sound like glass breaking as Phoenix's light fills the room, spreading out further, and even beyond the horizon. When the light fades away, Jay's oracle is more of a mint color, accented by darker shades of blue. Just as carefully as she had removed it, Phoenix returns Jay's oracle, and he returns to his natural state and appearance within the instant.

despite everything Collin still has influence over him, but it’s only partial. that mint color means Jay’s his own kleivenn; Collin’s accents are a healthy amount

and I mean yeah, this could’ve been done ages ago, and this log hurts like a bitch, but it needed to happen. having all this on the table was important

Collin looks at Jay with a mixture of disbelief and uncertainty. "Is... Is it done? Is he going to be okay?"

Phoenix: ...It seems like the corruption's subsided. His arm hasn't shelled back over...it's staying yellow. Collin: I... I can't ever repay you enough for this... Phoenix: You brought me back from the dead, and you saved our city, along with countless other kleivenn. Rescuing your saa from the brink of self destruction is the least I can do for the sake of our champions. Collin: ... I don't really feel much like a champion. Nine: Maybe you've spent too much time fightin' and not enough time bein' rewarded fer fightin' stuff! I think you need a break. Collin: I... Nevermind. I should... take him back to the IT. He's going to need a lot of rest after all of this. Phoenix: Take care! We'll always be here when you need us. Carefully picking Jay up, he looks back at the pair for a moment and quietly says, "Thank you," before stepping back inside the IT.

y’all need a break

#[S4]

[cataclysmiicx]

😢 just fuck me up

72 Angst Prompts || Accepting

63. “I’m trying to fix you!”

“Again. Come on, kiddo, up and at ‘em.”

Rowan winced and rolled onto his back. He looked down at himself and grimaced. The whole front of his shirt was covered in dirt and grass stains. His whole body ached – he’d lost count of the times he’d failed to catch the baseball and managed to get hit with the stupid thing instead. Sports, it seemed, were just another thing he could add to his ever-growing list of failures. Venkman had brought him out to the park every day for a month to try something new. Frisbee, soccer, basketball, football, field hockey… and the latest disaster – baseball. And every attempt went more abysmally wrong than the last. Even Venkman, who normally couldn’t be bothered to be phased by anything, was starting to get frustrated.

“Rowan. Come on… get up, and throw the ball.”

“No.” The fourteen year old stared up at the darkening sky. The sooner the sun set, the sooner they could go home. “Get it yourself. I’m done.”

He heard Venkman sigh, and Rowan shut his eyes tight, trying to crush the awful swell of embarrassment and guilt welling up in his stomach. His face was red with exertion, and his breathing was coming in short shallow gasps. Everything was covered in sweat. It was disgusting. Why was he so goddamn overweight? It wasn’t like he didn’t dry, and the kids at his school certainly gave him some very good incentive to run home every day after school. Overweight… unattractive… generally untalented… Somebody upstairs REALLY had it in for him.

“You’re not going to get any better if you lay down and give up,” he heard Venkman say. He was trying to be inspirational. But right now, all Rowan wanted was to bury himself in the dirt, and not have to crawl out again until high school was over. Every day that ticked by brought him closer to what he knew was about to be the four most hellish years of his life, and the rapidly approaching end of the summer vacation was sending his anxiety into overdrive.

“I’m not going to get good at it ever, so why are you trying to make me waste my time?” Rowan snapped back.

“Yeah, THAT’S the spirit!”

“Well I’m not!” Rowan sat up, turning his face to his father. “And it’s not like knowing how to do any of this stupid stuff is going to make a difference.”

“No?” Venkman pulled off his mitt, staring back at the boy. “I can think of a few ways it might help you. You do realize one of the quickest ways to build a friendship is joining a sports team, right? Or a club? Similar interests are important.”

Rowan scoffed. “Yeah, because I was ACTUALLY going to make a sports team, and THAT’S what was going to get people to suddenly like me.”

“You know, I’m starting to think you enjoy being hated.”

Silence.

Peter crossed his arms, and stared at Rowan, searching his face intently, his expression grim. “Well, do you?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. Rowan didn’t know what to say. He just stared at Venkman, his chest throbbing. He felt… very aware of the sweat on his palms… the size of his stomach under his t-shirt… the dirt and grass stains on his clothes…

“You don’t try! You actively don’t try. You gave up, and frankly, it’s bullshit! You’re a brilliant kid, you could be a great friend to somebody, but you decided back in the fourth grade that the whole world was against you, so why bother being anything but miserable, right?”

“Well what else am I supposed to do?!” Rowan’s voice pitched up by his anger, and he balled his hands into fists. “What exactly do you suggest? Huh? Dress like the other kids? Maybe THAT will get them to stop hitting me! Drop 70 or 80 IQ points, and use a little more upspeak? How about I lose 100 pounds and get some plastic surgery while I’m at it? Make myself marginally less hideous. Get myself a lobotomy and hey, why don’t I just re-wire my entire personality into something everybody can find just a little more palatable!! How about I just change everything about myself, so I’m just not me at all!”

“Rowan, I’m not telling you to change who you are! I’m trying to fix you!”

Venkman stopped, wincing visibly in the silence. Rowan just stared at him. He tasted ash in the back of his mouth… His ears were ringing. His chest ached.

“I… I’m trying to help you. I-… There’s nothing to-… You’re not… You’re not broken. You don’t need-… I-… Rowan-”

“Fuck you.”

“Rowan-”

The boy threw down his mitt, and ran. He could hear Peter calling after him, but right then, he didn’t care.

‘I’m trying to fix you. I’m trying to fix you. I’m trying to fix you.’

The words pounded in his head, over and over and over again with every step. He wasn’t sure where he was going. Away, that was the most important. Just away. He tried to tell himself that Peter hadn’t meant it… That it wasn’t true, and it didn’t matter… That there was nothing wrong with him, nothing broken. Just a late bloomer… Just a little slow… That someone, eventually, would pick him from the bunch, would take him as he was, no questions asked. That he was perfectly fine just the way he was.

But it wasn’t true. And he knew it.

#drabble #drabbles #Drabbles and Headcannon #worldoftheskeptic #tw: bullying #tw: parental abuse #ish? i guess? #I feel so extraordinarily guilty about this post #like... I know you said to fuck you up #but i think i fucked me up too

[tismroot]

Hate Mail! (27-06-00)

I just got some hate mail! Check it out:

Intresting page. Full of usless information. Do you have anything important to do in life or is this it? I respect your right to say it, but are you not jumping on somebody elses bandwagon. You could do your sellout page on anyone from Bardot to Jello Biafra. The point is who cares? I care as much in the lives of members of Tism as I do in yours, although Tism will give me more pleasure in their artistic creation. I think we need more bands like Tism. I think that if anything they show that you do not have to take yourselves seriously. I think you probaly need to learn this. . Sincerely,

Not bad - I'll give it a 6/10. This one's a lot better...

I'll be blunt. Just what the fuck is wrong with you? Clearly it is something that only a trained psychologist could identify and only a frontal lobotomy could cure. I've looked at your website and I agree with Line 1, Paragraph 2 of your Disclaimer. Unfortunately, you are full of shit. At least have the TESTICULAR FORTITUDE to stand behind the hypocritical bullshit you fill this webpage rather than disown it with your TWO-FACED, COWARDLY DISCLAIMER. Your interview is also a load of self-worshipping shit, and it highlights a fair bit of your ignorance and stupidity. You allude to the (alleged) fact that your TISM page is some kind of subtle joke that TISM don't get just because they hung shit on you. What did you expect, letters of praise for your wonderful level of general cleverness? Are you really that blind? Also, I fucking HATE snotty little pricks (i.e., you) who get off on telling people how you they were into things like TISM and The X-Files before anybody else was and then subsequently bashing them once they become popular. You're just a fucking idiot. Finally, if I have hypothesised correctly then you are the worst kind of fuckwit. If not, and this page actually is a joke (which I doubt strongly), then it was done poorly and you could benefit from addressing the errors I've pointed out to you in the above paragraphs. Yours in utter contempt for you and everything you stand for,

Now THAT'S a hate mail! He obviously read the disclaimer and followed my instructions. Except there were no uses of the word 'cunt' which was a bit disappointing. But since he used a spellchecker (although how could it miss 'hypothesized'?), I'll give him a 9/10. And use your real name next time, Humphrey! He he!

[jodhiifromthe503]

All my life I been the rag doll

Hoping I could take y’all

Outback and jigsaw

The whole pack

And get tall

As the Eiffel Tower

Have bitches on my dick like I’m Austin Powers

Devour the flower

Hop in the Uber and reroute her

I’m the sickest lyricist

My fits imprints the devils wits

And tints my Van Gogh hints

But I snap back

And slap that

Knife of my limp wrist ya!

Bitch!

I am really killing this

Ain’t no one as real as this

I’m taking all the smoke

Inhale

And take another hit

Breathing fire

Getting higher than Molly Fontaine

More black magic that Black Sabbath

And David Blaine

think I’m insecure

Insane

Like I’m Bruce Wayne

Living double lives

Snorting Cocaine

With John Wayne

In the ghost train

Ya me and Cal Calloway

Going to St. James Infirmary

There ain’t no mother fucking cure for me, ya

Bardo Daze

Playing out the ways

In which Houdini slip from the chains

Til he run out of days

Ya, my anatomy’s grey

I want retribution for every casualty

Of frontal lobotomy

Orchiectomy

There ain’t no next of kin for me

I’m floating further out to sea

The fountain from which it springs

And I dive deep

But found no peace

No skeleton keys

Just a black screen

And a dream of Annabelle Lee ya

Take this take this just how you please

I got all the shit talk that a girl needs

Ya, I’m gonna be the next one that a girl reads

Ya, I bring the dopamine to the dope fiends

Weave the dreams

You scroll the screen of my screams ya

Same day, I’m gonna sign a record deal

I don’t care how it’s gonna make you feel

With your imaginary friends

You play pretend

and try to scare me

I’ve seen shit that will make your hair turn white

They double dog dare

Know I’m about that life

My bark as bad as my bite

I chew out of spite

Bad batch

You go back to her

Bitch

I go back to black

(Back to black) echo*

I keep pulling that rabbit from hat

Eat the head off a bat

I’m a trap in the trap and there’s no coming back

So I guess that I’m trapped

But if you sell Heroin or if you sell Crack

I throw you out the window and then you go splat

Ya

Y’all didn’t think I could spit

Y’all didn’t think I could rap

Y’all didn’t think that I’d make a come back

Y’all didn’t think I would come to your house with a bat

(Black on black) echo*

I gave to fucks

In December

Then I fucked him up

Left him something to remember

They like Jodhii

Shut the fuck up

No

I don’t really want no friends

Those just means to an end

But

Where in the world is Carmen

Doin hood rat shit with her best friend

Slut

Suicide pact til the night ends

I hope Nietzsche don’t mind

I don’t rewind

I’m trembling and that’s fine

Look out the blinds

Shit is fucked

But we’re probably fine

America’s gone back in time

Go us locked in echo chambers

Locked in our mind

With our own “kind”

Fine, ya

Empty the clip

Another round for my sis

Ya, the revolution was a lie

But time does not exist

Climate changes

But history don’t

It jus rearranges

Red handed

Stuck to the pages

Misery love companies

Corporate philosophies

Casualties, anomalies

Leave nothing to mystery

So

FUCKABEES

Fuckabees, fuckabees, fuck with me ya

Little bitty witty biddy pretty jodhii cozy wozy wavy baby fuck you pay me

Later shady you don’t phase me

Slim chance i’m hesitating

I don’t care how long it takes me

To break free

y’all fuckin hate me

Cuz I’m a queen

Fem de la phem

Faded like Phaedra

In my tangerine dream

I’m a spit fire

Snort some yayo off the dash

Clap back with the whip with the backlash

Ya I feel lighter

Light as a feather

Whatever the weather

Numb

I’ve come to kill ya

I’ma make it feel all better

I’ma make it feel all better, better, better, better

Damn, homie

In high school you was the man homie

What the fuck happened to you?

Damn homie

You used to be a fuck boy

Ya

Now they fucking you?

I ain’t your homie

You didn’t know me

I’ve been livin lonely

And I was hella confused

Ya

I was really abused

I was stuck in a loop

I’ve been grinding my teeth

And I been haunted by you

Ya

Haunted like the Ink Spots

That come out like ink blots

In the form of deep thoughts

Ya I say please stop

But the wires crossed

Now I’m botched

Tried to kick rocks

But I’ve stopped

Now you can shit talk all you want!

Ya

You ain’t safe on my block bitch

I’m a pretty girl and I still got a cock bitch

If that’s a punch line

Lace it with fentanyl

Me at my worst is better than the best of y’all

All you’ll ever be is somebody that knew

Jodhii!

Your ma said you were special

I hope that makes you feel

Cozy!

I been stuck in the rain

Now the weakest link in my chain

Can’t hold back the pain

I’ve been lost in my brain

Figured out the whole game

Maybe someday I’ll taste the fame

Flip it

And take it straight to the bank

No where is safe

Reach out and touch faith

Amazing grace saved face

So I took her place

At the table

Of this fable

And if Cain killed Abel

For the love of the father

Than I don’t wanna be a martyr, son, or a daughter

But if I am a mother

I’ll love her

Adore her

Won’t give her up to the slaughter

Feed her from the fountain

And filter the water

I don’t know what I deserve

But I know who I serve

And if you need someone to lean on

Just say the word

But if I die too young then

FUCK

GAME OVER

#jodhii #whoremoans #queerhiphop #transfemcee #femcee #trans #girlslikeus #consciousrap #undergroundhiphop #pdxhiphop

[arachcobra]

Naruto Episode 7, 8 and 9 Review

Enter the cowprint ninja and his boomerang blade of doom.

Review of Naruto Episode 7, 8 and 9: The Assassin of the Mist! The Oath of Pain! And Kakashi: Sharingan Warrior

ArachCobra

So we start out with our intrepid crew being rowed to the Land of Waves through the fog. We get some exposition about Gato, who's a very small colossal asshole and how he has broken the land. The Tazuna emotionally blackmails three teenagers and a grow man into risking their lives for him, despite the fact that they're only here because he lied in the first place. You're so sympathetic, Tazuna.

Yes, I know it's a joke. Doesn't make it funnier or any less dickish.

So then they arrive and start going through the forest, with Naruto scowling at Sasuke all the way, thinking about how cool he is and how he'll prove himself better. At this point, he's moments away from pulling his dick out and yelling: “LET'S MEASURE THEM!”

So then to prove how badass he is, Naruto runs ahead and stars attacking random shrubbery, just to prove how on guard he is.

You see, Naruto isn't very smart.

Then he almost murders a rabbit. He's so apologetic that he starts rubbing the rabbit all over himself. It's weird.

Then Kakashi realizes that the rabbit is white and must have been saved from winter to be used for substitution. Which raises some questions. Like, does ninjas have to prepare materials for substitution? If yes, does that mean Kakashi has a stack of logs somewhere? And if no, why would anyone bring a rabbit when there's probably a thousand less suspicious objects in a forest?

Then Zabuza throws his sword at them like a Frisbee. I have no idea how he manages, but it looks stupid. It slices into a tree and he just materializes on top of it so he can look all dramatic.

Now, before I continue, I actually do like Zabuza. I like his second outfit better than the cow-print and I do think his intro is silly. But as a villain, I like him. Unfortunately, Zabuza is a severe victim of being off-model these episodes. At one point, his torso is stretched, in another his pants have been pulled up to his nipples and in one shot, it looks like he broke his neck just so he could glare at our protagonists from under his armpit.

Anyway, Naruto takes one look at this guy who's build like four brick outhouses stacked together and made from pure muscle, wielding a sword that's bigger than he is and just goes: “Yeah, I can take him.”

You see, Naruto is a bit of an idiot.

Kakashi has to point out that no, he can't take Zabuza on and reveals his right eye. We are informed that its a sharingan. It apparently allows you to see very well. So the fighting begin and fog envelops the area.

Now, we're informed that Zabuza is the master of the silent kill technique. So of course, he start yapping about all the ways you can kill a man. The tension of it all gets to Sasuke, who's having a surprising moment of vulnerability. That ends with him wanting to kill himself. Yeah, maybe that's a tad bit too vulnerable. Anyway, it's okay, Kakashi comforts him.

Then Zabuza gets ready to kill them all.

But then Kakashi appears and kills Zabuza.

But it was just a water clone and Zabuza appears and kills Kakashi.

But it was just a water clone and Kakashi appears and stops Zabuza.

But it was just a water clone and Zabuza appears and kicks Kakashi in the stomach.

Then things get a little weird. I think what happens is that Kakashi, while being kicked in the lake, drops some caltrops. Zabuza then stops in front of them and spends some time talking about how Kakashi thought he could delay him with the caltrops, thus being delayed by the caltrops by talking about how the caltrops aren't delaying him. Then he backflips into the lake and catches Kakashi, who's spend all this time floating like a rubber duck, in a bubble.

Then he summons another water clone to attack the crew, which it does with gusto. Naruto tries to flee, but then sees his own bandaged hand and remember he swore to never give in, never surrender. And therefore, he has to fight the musclebound blademaster goliath that is Zabuza.

Point actually goes to Sasuke here. He also realizes they have to fight. But his reason is much smarter. That without Kakashi, Zabuza will just hunt them down and then kill them.

Sakura yells warning and occasionally she and Tazuna groans like they decided to spend their off-screen time vigorously banging each other.

Anyway, Naruto charges Zabuza and then gets the shit kicked out of him. But he got his headband back, so it's all cool.

Then he and Sasuke performs this actually pretty clever strategy. Naruto jumps him with some clones of his own, transforms into a giant shuriken, passes it to Sasuke, who throws both it and his own big shuriken(Not sure when he got one of those, but whatever), forcing Zabuza to catch one and jump over the other, only for Naruto to transform back and throw a kunai, so Zabuza has to let go of the prison and let Kakashi go free to avoid getting an impromptu lobotomy.

As I said, this is actually a very clever strategy that, for the most part, utilizes the skills we've seen and gives a believable way that the characters can outmatch Zabuza, without negating everything we know about Zabuza.

But here's the problem.

This entire combo relies on Naruto and Sasuke being so in sync that they can concoct and perform such a strategy without communicating.

Bull.

Fucking.

Shit.

Those two have shown nothing but scorn for each other so far. The most teamwork we've seen was in the bells test. There's no way they've fought enough together to be able to pull that off. And don't tell me their rivalry allows them this insight. They've barely interacted with each other. Maybe if they had fought with each other for years, I could buy it, but here, no way.

Anyway, Kakashi gets free and him and Zabuza attack each other simultaneously by spending half a minute chanting and then summoning water dragons to bite each other.

I'm unsure how that technique would be useful in battle, but okay.

Then they clash in melee. You'd expect this to be a tense battle where Kakashi would have to use all his acrobatic skills to avoid Zabuza's superior reach and power.

Instead, Kakashi blocks Zabuza's blade with his own dinky kunai and then they stand there pressing against each other while grunting. It's kinda lame to be honest.

Kakashi then wages a campaign of psychological terror against Zabuza and overwhelms him, smashing him through the forest with a water spout. It's actually pretty cool. But just as he's about to finish the swordsman off, he gets needled in the throat. The swordsman, that is.

A masked ninja shows up and says he's been hunting Zabuza for going rogue.

And then Naruto gets super pissed that someone that young could be that much more powerful and skilled than him, yelling about why are they there and that they don't know anything. Rarely is Naruto this much on point.

And then Kakashi faints.

All in all, an enjoyable battle with some issues. Sakura feels completely superfluous, but I suppose somebody did have to guard Tazuna, just in case.

Givenea

Let’s just start at the beginning of episode 7, shall we. The gang is in a boat on the final stretch of the journey to the Land of Waves, and Tazuna finally comes clean about everything, from his reason for lying about the assignment to just how much danger they will be in. This is where Kakashi actually sounds like the leader of the inexperienced team he has, as he contemplates if they can handle it.

BUT FORGET ABOUT THAT, before anything can come of this, can even be properly discussed, Tazuna guilts them into continuing by saying his family will be sad if he dies. Then he turns to the camera, holds up two fingers, sends us the most shit-eating grin and proclaims “I win” in an almost singsong voice.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS ASSHOLE???!!!

Anyway… once ashore, they run into the terrifying rogue-ninja Zabuza Momoji, who traps Kakashi in a bubble, forcing Naruto and Sasuke to enact a daring and complicated plan to save him, while Sakura… does her job and protects their client???

Okay, I’m just gonna put this here… SAKURA NEEDS TO BE UTILIZED MORE! SHE NEEDS SOMETHING TO DO!

Anyway, Naruto’s plan involves him attacking Zabuza, then making a bunch of clones and attacking again, to disguise that he has turned into a giant shuriken, which one of his clone tosses to Sasuke, who pairs it with his own giant shuriken (PS. He has one of those) and tosses both at Zabuza who catches one and jumps over the other. But uh-oh, the second shuriken was Naruto, who now transform back and throws a kunai at Zabuza’s face, forcing him to let go of the bubbled Kakashi, who breaks free.

Naruto then explain that the purpose of the plan was always to free Kakashi and that he only had to toss the Naruto-shuriken at Sasuke for him to be completely in on everything.

Sakura then declares Naruto and Sasuke the perfect team.

And… I don’t buy it… Nope… Not even for a second… Na-ah…

Naruto and Sasuke has up to this point never communicated really. Naruto has whined that Sasuke is too cool for him to keep up with and thrown a few insults. Sasuke has ignored Naruto, aside from a few times where he has mocked him.

So, I don’t believe, not even the tiniest little bit, that they are capable of this level of understanding and teamwork.

This scene comes too early for that. If this was the season finale and we had seen them train and grow and learn together for some 20 episodes, seen them develop a begrudging respect, as they fought together and got used to each other’s different strategies and fighting styles, then sure.

Here… It’s just stupid, go back to square one and try again.

Fluttersniper13

There was the boatman who said he couldn't take them all the way, but he clearly almost did and then the forest of boredom, and then Zabuza show up with his boomerang blade of doom. And his amazing silent kill technique of never shutting the fuck up and taking way too fucking long to do anything. Sakura is useless, Naruto is useless, Sasuke is useless. Tazuna just stand their gormless and Kakashi look like he wants to be anywhere but here. Then dragons out of nowhere, tsunami and needle to the throat. Naruto says some stupid shit and Kakashi decides to take a nap. The end.

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13125294/6/Naruto-Rewrite-1-Road-to-Ninja

#naruto #naruto rewrite #review

[rpchive]

118th Encounter-- Slowly and Surely

progress!

Cautiously, Clair approaches the training room, unsure of how to approach coming near the door. Stepping to the side of it instead, she gently knocks, waiting to see if the storm inside calms before she tries to enter. A loud but unintelligible conversation continues inside, unaffected by Clair's attempt to get attention. Clair presses her head up against the wall in an attempt to listen in. Daedalus: -care about this fucking place anyway? The more they try to do, the closer this whole things gets to crumbling to the ground! What does it matter what I do if everyone else is just gonna slam themselves into a brick wall until they finally give out?

Voltarus: Things are not as bleak as they seem, nor are they as self-destructive as you imagine. You need to focus. I know what your condition is doing to you; you need to try and see past your delusions-

Daedalus: I am not delusional! It's everyone else that's gone off their fucking rocker! Have you seen what these idiots are doing to themselves?

Voltarus: The situation is difficult, I'll give you that. The others are struggling with a new type of foe and how to deal with it. What matters is what you do now to deal with the problem before it truly does pass the point of no return. Taking a deep breath, Clair nods decisively before carefully attempting to open the door. The door opens with no resistance, but an intense wave of heat blasts out from inside as she makes her way in. Voltarus and Daedalus appear to be pacing in a circle facing each other in the center of the room. Flames drip down from Daedalus' arms like napalm and continue to burn for some time on the floor, forming a misshapen ring of fire around the pair. Voltarus' attention is drawn to Clair as she steps inside, causing Daedalus to turn and look in the same direction. His furious scowl deepens slightly as he sees her.

Daedalus: Oh good, another one. Here to chime in with sunshine over here? Flinching from a mix of the comment and the heat, Clair forces herself to steady her gaze as she closes the door behind herself. "...What else could I do? Nobody else can talk to you right now...or maybe they don't know what to say...but somebody has to do something..." Daedalus: That's the fucking problem!

Daedalus brings his fists up and then swings them down in a sharp motion that sends two massive plumes of fire out to his sides. "Everyone always feels like they have to stick their nose in every little problem they come across, and it means nothing in the grand fucking scheme of it all! There's nothing to be gained from this and everything to lose! Why should I bother helping a group of people that just want to drive themselves off a goddamn cliff?" Clair: And what else should we do? Maybe we can't fix everything; I mean, there's always a problem that's bigger than us somewhere; but if we stopped doing anything at all? Kleivenn are being hunted to extinction by their own kind due to the aftermath of a war; without us, they'd all be weaponized or dead. If nobody had sealed whatever ate the Earth from Silky and XL's universe, it would've kept eating planets until it was the only thing left. Paprika and Maya would've died; Jay and Demo would've kept being used as tools; and you? Maybe we can't fix everything, but we're doing something, and it matters!! Daedalus: Like hell it does! Entropy gets everything in the end, we're just delaying the inevitable! You wanna see me do something? I'll show you what I can fucking do-

Daedalus turns and strides toward Clair, only to be grabbed from behind by Voltarus, pinning his arms to his sides. A sudden draft pulls Daedalus' flames behind the pair and away from Clair. Voltarus looks at Clair from over Daedalus' shoulder.

Voltarus: Talking doesn't seem to be much good for him this time. I think you need to use a more direct method to calm him down! There is a moment where Clair seems to want to object, though she quickly decides to take Voltarus up on their offer. Taking Daedalus' head in her hands, she places her head against his, only really asking for him to calm down. Daedalus struggles to break himself away from both Clair and Voltarus for several seconds, but eventually Clair's influence pushes through. Fire stops seeping out from his body, and the residual flames on the floor around the room begin to die down. Daedalus' frantic breathing finally begins to slow down, and Clair feels his weight lean into her as his eyes close. Voltarus carefully releases him from his grip, allowing Daedalus to put his hands on Clair's shoulders as he sinks into her for support. Letting go of Daedalus to hold him on the off chance that he collapses, Clair speaks softly. "...I'm sorry. I'm sorry this is hurting you...I'm sorry everyone's getting hurt...I'm sorry we can't do more..." Daedalus is quiet for several seconds before he finally responds. "I... I'm the one that should be sorry. I was starting to lose track of myself, and all I could think about was how angry I was about everything. This stupid brainwashing shit Lobotomy did is... really annoying. Please don't take what I say to heart if I start getting like this. I'm upset, but..." Clair: ...It's okay. Will you be alright...? Daedalus: ... I don't know. I don't think I'll feel better until everything's back to normal again. I just...

He pushes Clair away, gently but firmly, and takes a few steps away from Clair and Voltarus as he runs his hands down his face.

"Fucking hell, between everything that's happened recently I just don't see how I'm actually doing anything here. Demo's still not really herself because I couldn't stop that poker playing fuck-stick from biting her soul in half, and... I still think about that fight with Azreldeh's sister back in the mirror. You don't remember this, but I would've failed to get you back from her if that huge fucking demon king hadn't stepped in and stopped the fight. I've failed both of you in pretty short fucking order, and I just... don't know what I'm doing anymore." Clair: ...I don't think you failed. You didn't know what that devil was gonna do to Demo; and, well, I don't know enough about the mirror incident to put my two cents in there, but, I mean, if you were trying your hardest, then there's nothing to blame... Daedalus: If my best isn't cutting it, then what's the point of me even going out there?

Voltarus: The problem isn't that your best isn't enough; it's that you haven't even reached your potential yet.

Daedalus: ... The hell is that supposed to mean?

Voltarus: We purposefully avoided interfering directly in your adventures up until now to see how you've been handling things before we were properly awoken. Perhaps the blame partly lies with us for waiting so long to intervene, and for that we apologize. That being said, your ability to control our power has been... rudimentary. You've grasped the basics of channeling my power specifically, there is much more for you to learn, should you choose to.

Daedalus: And you're just now deciding to share that little tidbit of information? Voltarus: Better now than even later, eh? Truthfully, your ability to see your own limits is a good sign. We firmly believe you can rise to meet the task ahead of you, but smiting a devil will be no easy task. Clair: So...are you gonna help him? Voltarus: Of course! If he chooses to take us on the offer, that is.

Daedalus: If it means getting closer to piledriving that bastard into the dirt for good, I'm all in.

Voltarus: Excellent! We begin immediately! Our first task then should be ridding you of that desire for revenge.

Daedalus: ... Wait hang on what?

listen I know this was a chill log but that line still scared the shit out of me because after Law I literally do not know what to expect from your guys anymore

Voltarus: Your single-minded desire to destroy whatever problem you're facing robs you of the broad range of our powers. If you truly wish to grow into your power, then you must grow as an individual first. A selfish desire for revenge does not a hero make.

Daedalus: ... I can't believe this. We're starting with self-help talks? You got five easy steps to have a happier attitude while you're at it?

Voltarus: Indeed! Although that's not part of your training for now.

Daedalus: Oh for- Alright, look, if it means learning more tricks than fire hammers, then I'll humor you. Clair, you don't have to stick around for this. It's only a matter of time before he lights a campfire and starts trying to get us to sing "Kumbaya" or some crap like that. Clair: Well, maybe not, but if something else weird happens, someone else should stick around in case you need help, right? Daedalus: I... can't argue with that. Falling back into my old mindset is really annoying, and it's gonna be hard to remember anything if I have another weird memory gap happen. Clair: Then I'll stay here unless I have to leave. Voltarus: Then it's settled! Now, let's begin!

Daedalus grumbles something as he turns back and follows the pair as Voltarus begins setting up an area to sit.

[Meanwhile...]

Azreldeh quickly flees Firefly's Botania room as Firefly swears after her, hastily hurrying out as well. "...The flowers don't need magic, they make it! And...what gave you the idea that your magic would be good for anything?!"

Azreldeh: L-look, I said I was sorry--...!!

Firefly: Sorry won't make all those sprites go away, and it won't stop more from showing up!! You made this mess!! You make every mess!! Collin stops making his way down the hallway as the pair spill out of Firefly's door, one hand still pressed against the wall to help balance himself. He glances between the two for a second before speaking up. "Uh, is everything okay?" Firefly: Of course not!! Azreldeh made a huge mess!!

Azreldeh: D-don't come this way, they're gonna start pouring out into the hall soon...!!

Firefly: Ugh, whatever! Even if they do; sprites are harmless until provoked; so just...don't touch anything...! Collin: Well, it can't be that bad if they're harmless, right? How many are there? Azreldeh: Right now? Dozens. But uhh...more are showing up...

Firefly: They're all spilling out because you tried to feed one of my flowers your infernal magic!! They're going to chase you because you're a demon!! Get out!!

Azreldeh: Hey, I can't just step out of the ship...! ...What am I supposed to do...?

Firefly: I don't care, just...go somewhere else!! Collin: I'd offer to help, but I'm out of commission for a bit. Maybe you can get the pantheon to help? In the meantime, uh... Azreldeh, why don't we go somewhere that isn't here? Azreldeh: ...Right! Where to...? Your room...? Collin: Uh, sure? That's where I was headed anyway. Just bear with me, I'm a little slow right now. Nodding, Azreldeh heads in Collin's direction, keeping close in case he needs her support. "...Let me know if you need help; I can carry you if I have to." Collin: It's not that bad. I've just been spoiled by how well my prosthetic mimics normal movement normally. Remind me to thank Barbell the next time we see him. Azreldeh: Hopefully sooner than later...I'm sorry you guys got dragged into this... Collin: It happens. I just wish I hadn't made things even worse... I've turned this into a real mess. Azreldeh: ...You? No, you haven't done anything... Collin: I mean, I pulled in devil magic so now he can just do whatever with me. That doesn't sound like nothing to me... Azreldeh: But that hasn't made the situation worse! Jay's still safe, and so are we...! ...For the most part. This sprite thing was kind of a mistake on my part, ahah... Collin: What was the deal with that, anyway? I didn't think you were a green thumb sort of person. Azreldeh: Well, I just figured I could actually try to do something helpful around here for once, but I guess my magic's just inherently harmful to its surroundings... Collin: I don't think that's true. You just haven't found the right gap to fill, that's all. Azreldeh: ...Maybe so. Well, whatever, as long as nobody else gets messed up, I don't care. Collin: I'll try my best not to cause any other problems, then. Not that I can... really guarantee that. Azreldeh: L-look, the only problem we're gonna have in a minute is all those sprites coming to find me, and you're still pretty close... Collin: If my room's too close, we can go somewhere further back. I thought they were harmless though? Azreldeh: Maybe they are, but Firefly said they wouldn't like me... Collin: Well, let's just get somewhere where you won't get swarmed by a bunch of angry pixies then. Azreldeh: I...really don't think there's a place like that on this ship right now...

Azreldeh glancing behind herself has grown significantly more apparent. Collin: Oh, uh...? What should we do, then? Azreldeh: I, uhh...!! You can't run, so, uhh...!! ...I...messed this up already!!

Turning around, Azreldeh faces the ocean of sprites that are rapidly drifting towards the pair down the hallway. "...Brace yourself!! Even if they're harmless to most people, you've still been cursed by a devil...!!"

As the sprites close in on the pair, a muffled  crackling sound fills the air. Shielding herself with her wings, Azreldeh braces herself for retaliation only to find the sprites are prioritizing Collin instead. Stunned, she starts yanking them out of the air and shouting at them to try and get their attention to no avail.

The magical current within a single sprite seems to do no harm to Azreldeh, but with hundreds upon thousands of them up close, the current seems to have amplified for each sprite surrounding another. Unifying their efforts, the wall of pink sprites attempts to fire a massive bolt of magic at Collin, only for it to curve moments before impact, firing into the crowd and incinerating the vast majority of the sprites. Azreldeh, however, seems unharmed by the attack.

Fearing the force that turned their magics against them, the remainder of the sprites disperse, leaving Collin and Azreldeh alone in the hall. From the depths, Collin hears Bandit's voice call out to him.

{...You're welcome.}

Collin: ... I... I've never been more conflicted about being saved in my life.

can you even imagine having your life threatened by what’s essentially a wall of pink, glittery cotton balls with wings

Bandit: {What, don't like it? I could put you back in danger if you wanna do it yourself...oh, wait, you can't now, can you? Hahaha!} Collin: Ugh, look, do you need  something or are you just here to gloat? Saving me from a pixie swarm doesn't make up for everything else. Bandit: {I'm just making sure the two of you are alright. Because I can't see the state of your kleivenn without you.} Collin: Well he's not ready for you to try making him destroy an entire universe again yet, I'll tell you that much. Bandit: {As if I care if he's ready or not. I need to know if he's /able/; and he isn't yet...but I'm sure he'll get there sooner rather than later. I'm pretty patient when it comes to investments anyway, so I can hold this out as long as I need to. Can you?} Collin: It's gonna take a lot more than this to crack me, don't you worry about that. Bandit: {Suit yourself. I'll keep watching as long as it takes. Just know you won't be rid of me any time soon.} Collin: We'll see about that... Bandit retreats to his usual distance from the situation at hand, and Azreldeh finally turns her attention to Collin.

"...Are you okay? Those things didn't hit you, huh...?" Collin: No, Bandit bounced the attack back at them. Not exactly happy he can still do magic when I can't, but at least I'm not fried... Are you okay? Azreldeh: Me? Yeah, I'm fine. They tickled a little when I grabbed em, but nothing hurt...I'm just glad you're okay. Collin: Likewise. At least that deals with the pixie problem? Hopefully? Azreldeh: It looked like the last few disappeared. Guess they went back to wherever they came from... Collin: Here's hoping. Anyway, I... guess I'll get back to my room, finally. You're still free to hang around if you want. Better to have you sticking around than the other guy... Azreldeh: Y-yeah...! Uh, also, I guess nobody told you yet, but you shouldn't say the devil's name. They can hear everything around you when you say it... Collin: ... That would've been good to know earlier. Although given my situation, they might be able to hear everything around me anyway... Azreldeh: I'm not so sure about that...I think they're only gonna make contact when something interests them, unless you call their name. That's the one thing demons and devils have in common; we always answer those who call us. Collin: Duly noted, I guess. So the same thing happens with you? Azreldeh: W-well, I guess so...! Collin: You... don't know? I've probably said your name a bunch of times since you've been here. Azreldeh: Yeah, but not to get my attention...! Collin: I guess that's fair. Anything else I should know about all of this while we're at it? Azreldeh: ...Not that I can think of. Just don't say their name unless you want them to know what you're doing. Collin: Got it. So uh, to my room? Azreldeh: ...Wow, I wasn't expecting you to invite me for once! Collin: Well yeah, it's not like I hate you or something. I... still owe you a date, after all. Just don't read too deeply into the invitation... Azreldeh: Heheh, yeah, I know. Alright, let's get you where you're going... Collin finally reaches the door to his room and opens it for Azreldeh before stepping inside himself.

I really do like the little moments between these two

uhh, I forgot how many baby logs we had between Bandit and the fight, jesus. idk when we’re gonna kick his ass now

#[S4]