Welcome back, beloved readers! Things have finally calmed down for me so it’s time to inflict this update on the world. When we last left off, BATSHIT FELINA SMASHED VICTORIA’S URN
-WHY IS IT NOT BROKEN?!?
Because it turned out there’s a cheat to repair urns, HA. In your face!
-I BROKE THAT THING FAIR AND SQUARE
Felina seriously, GO TO HELL. I freaked out thinking I’d have to either quit without saving (hadn’t saved since before SUGAR DIED) or I’d have to deal with Victoria’s missing character file. You’re not allowed anywhere near the mausoleum again!
-THAT’S FINE, I’LL JUST TRAP MYSELF IN THIS WALL UNTIL I DIE AND THEN YOU’LL BE SORRY
Bruh. I’ve had enough of this house, between the walls of death..
..the eternal yard fire..
..and the fact everyone is afflicted with a gross cold they keep passing around despite the fact I gave them medicine-
-I, a retired Mayor, was clearly the right choice to make medicine.
Well I thought you might do something useful for once, Shajar, but joke’s on me. Point is, it’s time to gtfo..
..to our new gigantic house! Look at all our crap on the lawn, and yes, I’m referring to the sims.
I unpaused for 1 second to check something and Barf and Failina (Barflina?) have re-become enemies?? Did you stop being enemies at some point because I completely missed it.
-We did but new house, new us!
It’s done! I went all out on this house for no discernible reason, let me give you the grand tour:
First floor! Man this house is a nightmare.
Foyer!
Luxurious pet room!
Kitchen!
Dining room!
Gambling room Library!
And living room!
Moving on to the second floor, Cyn and Sophie/Shajar’s bedrooms I kept the basically same as in the last house. The unfinished bedroom is Sugar and Sandy’s for reasons that will be explained shortly.
I really feel I made this house too nice for the Unions but what can you do.
Felina and Barth’s rooms in their ~signature colors~
And Liz and Sophito’s bedroom which is clearly all Liz.
Finally, on the little rooms on the third floor are the music room that @microscotch decorated❤️, and a lame room where we keep all our career rewards!
The mausoleum, which is unchanged other than I moved the pet graves in it and put them under each generation..
..and this is the yard! I kept it pretty much the same except larger-
-and I added a lake! We’re all done, time to unpause and enjoy long, safe lives in our new house..
OMG WTF
-YOU CAN’T ADD A FLAMETHROWER IN THE MIDDLE OF A FOUNTAIN, MORON
-EVERYONE KNOWS WATER CATCHES FIRE
BRO. When I tell you guys the entire family almost perished in a FOUNTAIN FIRE. Incredibly fitting cause of death. Thankfully the firefighter heroically saved us and all is well! Now I can’t wait to play a billion sims and pets on this gigantic cc-filled lot with no further problems whatsoever!
Alright then! I had a feeling it might come to this, Sugar take Sandy and gtfo.
-I will but be warned, our absence won’t solve anything!
Ya, it sure DIDN’T. GROSS. Finally I turned off shaders and it went away, ok Sug, you and Sandy can move back in..
..and we can begin the ENDLESS task of getting all the skill points you lost to zombiehood back. And once you’re back at the top of your career and Sandy tops hers you are OUTTA HERE, you hear me???
-Ya ya, how many times are you gonna kick me out and move me back in? Admit it already, you LOVE ME.
Ok ‘love’ is a strong word-
-YOU CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT ME.
LET’S MOVE ON
It’s our first night in the new house and this is how Sophie and Shajar sleep.
-Close enough for me.
-I’d like another wall between us, actually.
#itsover
-Ah, nothing like that first sip of whiskey before school!
Ya Barth, I’m a little concerned about your aspiration bar.
-Ah, nothing like the first four glasses of whiskey after shcool!
Ya ok, we’re calling the matchmaker this weekend.
Jimbo (the puppy we adopted to mate with Veronica, I don’t remember if I introduced him) grows up and he looks ICONIC
The difference between their necks LOL
It’s Sophito’s birthday and Liz’s is in a few days, so it’s time to get started on their death portraits. What a cheerful gift, Cyn!
Family reunion! Look at everyone all together, getting along..
..even Gunther came but completely ignored the party and went straight for the ballet bar, which legit made me emo, idk if you guys remember during generation 1 how obsessed he and Daniel were with the ballet bar, awww❤️ Alright, back to the party, go on Soph, blow your candles-
OH FFS
-SCREW YOU, FAILINA, IT’S BEYOND TIME TO HAVE OUR FIRST FIGHT IN THE NEW HOUSE
-AGREED, AND I CAN THINK OF NO BETTER MOMENT THAN THE ONE RIGHT BEFORE OUR FATHER BLOWS HIS CANDLES IN FRONT OF OUR ENTIRE FAMILY
Ok are you done?? Is this over?? Let’s try the cake again, Soph-
-Sorry, it’s time for me to finally reconnect with iVan, huhu!💗
-Awww, I’m so happy for you, grandma Cyn!
-DON’T BE TOO HAPPY, FAILINA
-FUCKING BRAT, I HAD MY BACK TURNED
OK YOU KNOW WHAT, FORGET IT
HERE, HE’S GROWN UP. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SOPHITO
-WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS FAMILY~👻
Ya idk, Victoria, you tell me, it’s your amazing DNA at work.
-YOU’RE AN EMBARASSMENT, BARTHOLOMEW
-Well that hurts, grandma!
-Thankfully nothing a drink won’t fix!
Oh my- I’d like to clarify at this point that this goddamn party is still going on-
-when this simultaneous pet and human fight occurs:
It’s Jimbo vs Shinok..
..and Barflina vs human dignity.
-Oh no, babe, I can’t look!
-How could this happen, we were such involved parents!!
And at the moment where Barth throws his sister through a window, the matchmaker rewards us with a genie lamp for treading the arduous path of excellence. I don’t know about you, but what I take from this is we are perfect and should never attempt to improve ourselves in any way!
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hey foxfire? just a completely friendly-non-threatening-kind-pleasing-message.
about the whole “fitzphie isn’t a thing”, what did the faculty think of that.
we all now tierigan just wanted them to stop using his class as a slightly-convoluted couple’s therapy class.
tell me now 🔫🤪or i spill the secrets on as to why i saw an ominous staircase leading to a chained door, and heard banging and someone yelling “foxfire isn’t just a school it’s a home. forever.” 🤪🔫
i know you have secrets foxfire, and one day i’ll figure them out…
LOLL JUST KIDDING THATS TOO MUCH WORK I DONT CARE WHO YOU HAVE TRAPPED IN YOUR BASEMENT, THEY WERE PROPABLY ANNOYING ANYWAYS LMAOO
but you do have to tell me the tea 🔪🔪
sending thoughts and prayers 🥺🙏
Lady Cadence: Does not care about Sophie Foster or Fitz Vacker enough to have an opinion.
Magnate Leto: Liked Fitz because he hadn’t blown up his school so far.
Lady Alexine: Shipped them ever since the splotching incident so she was bummed
Lady Anwen: Jealous that Fitz got to go to the Forbidden Cities but not her. No other opinions.
Sir Astin: Too busy mapping stars to find out about them breaking up, or dating.
Sir Bubu: Does not know any of these prodigies.
Sir Caton: Is not involved in his prodigies love life.
Sir Conley: Does not care. Only here for the money.
Lady Dara: Recording every moment of Sophies life secretlyto write a history book on her. Also a Sokeefe shipper.
Lady Delmira: Sophitz shipper because she does not like Keefe.
Sir Donwell: Does not care.
Sir Faxon; Was lowkey a Dexphie shipper.
Lady Galvin: Is still mourning her cape.
Barth the Reaper: Too busy with his plants.
Sir Beckett: Does not care like a good mentor.
Councillor Bronte: Wants Sophie to save the world and stop with her teenage romance drama.
Thank you for understanding about the basement dweller.
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