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u-n-lucky-being · 5 months

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𝔐𝔲𝔡𝔡𝔩𝔢𝔡 𝔅𝔦𝔫𝔡𝔰

Part 3: 𝔚𝔥𝔬 𝔴𝔢 𝔴𝔢r𝔢

INFJ x ENTP

Tags: f!INFJ, m!ENTP, ft. m!ENTJ, ENTJ is an asshole in this one (sorry to all my ENTJ who are not machiavellian tyrants <3 love you all), lovers to enemies (kinda), kingdom setting, there’s an insurgence, kind of historical fiction (…I think? I’m not sure how this genre is called), angst, mentions of torture, threats of murder, mentions of murder, mentions of violence, blood, wounded character, mentions of war, curse words are used, I’m bad at tagging, hurt/comfort (I think?), I don’t know what else to add, please tell me if I should add anything else.

Word count: 4.5k

Summary: INFJ used to be sure that once she had to confront the worst, she would do without faltering. But now that she was face to face with it, fear was starting to creep in. As if her situation was not bad enough, the more she thinks she learns about their past, the more confused she feels. Her entire story with ENTP just feels like a muddled mess she doesn't know how to make sense of.

(Part 1: 𝔚𝔥𝔬 ℑ 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔱𝔬 𝔟𝔢)

(Part 2: 𝔚𝔥𝔞𝔱 ℑ 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔲𝔰 𝔱𝔬 𝔟𝔢)

(Part 4: 𝔚𝔥𝔬 𝔴𝔢 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔡 𝔟𝔢)

A/N: Hello! Hello! Welcome back to *proceeds to read the notes in the first parts* all the 4 people who were waiting for this!!!!

Ok no, but seriously, hope those who were waiting for this like it. I'm sorry it took so long but the folder where I had most of my drafts decided that it wanted to exist no longer and by the time I went through the seven stages of grief months had already passed by. BUT I AM BACK! Though, seriously, it took me like seven attempts to rewrite all of this so I'm sorry if it is sloppier than the first parts T-T I swear I tried. (Also forgive the sudden ending, this chapter was supposed to be conjoined with the next one but it became just too long).

I am not sure if this is bad news or good news but as I rewrote the drafts for the rest of this story I noticed some plot holes that I just couldn't bear leaving so... there would be like around three more parts (plus maybe some extra flashbacks... maybe); one of them I'll probably upload right after this one so, hope that makes up for the time.

But, whatever, hope whoever reads this ends up liking it. Feel free to provide advice, cause I know there's a lot of room for growth.

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INFJ spat blood on the floor one last time, her eyes throwing daggers at ENTJ as she was dragged out of the interrogation cell. The King remained as cool and collected as ever, but she could tell that behind that exterior he was irritated that he could not get anything out of her for today. It should have made her proud. She should have enjoyed it.

She tried to enjoy it.

But everything hurt too much.

Pain. Pain is all she could feel at the moment. Her whole body ached and trembled. She somehow felt hot and cold at the same time. Breathing hurt. She could barely keep her eyes open, and even if she did the whole world kept spinning around her; she was completely sure that the only reason she hadn’t passed out yet was because of the fear of passing out in the same room as ENTJ.

“Just spit one name- any name- out of those rats you have been working with, and you can put an end to this.”

INFJ would love to say that she endured through it all with her head high, keeping her poise, mocking them as they tried to break her— but that would be a horrible lie.

She screamed and begged and cried for what felt like hours. As much as it shamed her to admit it, there were moments where she considered giving them what they wanted so that the pain would stop. She may have fought through it today, but the temptations had been there, and now she didn’t know if she was more afraid of the pain that would come or of what she would do to stop it from coming.

And she knew things would only get worse from here. This was only day one.

She hoped her body would give up before things got worse.

“You will wish that death would hurry up because he will make your existence nothing more than pain!”

That’s what he had said, wasn’t it?

The guards threw her in her cell, and every part of her body screamed as she hit the floor. They didn’t even bother to shackle her; it wasn’t like she could even attempt to escape. INFJ could hear them talking, and judging by their snickering they were mocking her, but she could not make out the exact words of what they were saying. Everything sounded blurred. Eventually their voices got quieter until she could hear them no longer; she was left alone.

She didn’t get up from where she had landed. There was no energy left in her body to even try. She hadn’t had anything to eat nor drink since the day before— add on top of that blood loss and everything else. She was no better than a ragdoll in this state.

“You will die!”

She hoped it would be sooner than later.

“He will make your existence nothing more than pain!”

“I will get you out of here.”

“I don’t have time to explain just yet”

“Trust me, just once more.”

Damn her head and its inability to just shut up.

He had been there. He entered right after that bastard of a man. INFJ had expected him to pull out another act like he had done the night before, trying to convince her to talk by claiming he would save her, that he would spare her the pain only if she cooperated— that kind of bullshit. She had also expected him to do the opposite: to mock her, to taunt her like ENTJ did as the interrogation went on, that obnoxious smirk plastered on his lips.

Yet he did neither; he just stood there, silent. He kept that emotionless expression from start to finish; as she first refused to talk, as she dared to speak up only to insult ENTJ, as she then insulted him, as she started screaming and eventually begging for it to stop; that cold demeanor remained. And for those agonizing moments where she ended up looking up at him unconsciously, seeking some kind of help, only for him to look away from her— she had hated him.

‘Had’ being an important word.

“Please do what I told you. Trust me, just once more.”

Because there had been a moment when ENTP did meet her eyes.

It had been just a few seconds, right after ENTJ had decided that it had been enough for one day. His whole faced remained as stoic as when he had first walked in, but his eyes—

She knew those eyes. She tried to hate those eyes.

But there was guilt. And there was sadness. And there was worry and fear. And there was rage. And there was pain.

And she must be mad, or stupid, or biased, or hallucinating, but she could swear there was still love in there.

She still felt loved when looking at him. As she lay bleeding and bruised because of him, after he had watched her getting tortured without intervening, after he had lied to her for months about everything; and she still felt loved when looking at him.

How fucking bad did he mess her up? How messed up must someone be to feel like she did in her situation?

ENTJ claimed he wanted to break her; little did he know that his henchman had already done all the work.

It made no sense. Nothing made sense. The rational part of her told her that she was just imagining what she wished to see in him. INFJ needed to stop thinking about him; she needed to remain as focused and as sound as possible.

Yet she could not take those eyes out of her head.

She lay in that cold cell, eyes on the ceiling, fighting her own mind, trying to forget about everything. And everything included him.

But as darkness grew closer, her surroundings quieted down, and the pain drifted away, memories of those eyes flooded her.

She drowned in them as unconsciousness took over.

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After hearing the door opening and closing, ENTP turned around fully expecting the smile that greeted him back.

What he did not expect was the letter in her hand.

Nor the blood in her clothes.

He froze in place, “Oh, no. You didn’t-”

INFJ smiled weakly as she tried to hold her side with her bare hands. “I did.” She collapsed against the door.

His body acted automatically, while his mind spinned with a thousand different thoughts per second. He was by her side in the blink of an eye, examining the wound. Her face contorted in pain as he tried to inspect it. “What happened?”

Her breathing was heavy and irregular, either by the effort of running or because of the wound; or both. It panicked him not knowing which one it was. “Went for the letter. Guards appeared when I was leaving.” A hiss escaped her as he started to tear pieces of fabric to get a better look from where all the blood was coming from. “They couldn’t see my face. They were too far. Yet,” She inhaled sharply, “one of them has good aim.”

ENTP did his best to keep a cool head, but it was starting to get difficult; he could already feel the pandemonium of emotions starting to rise in his chest. But as INFJ laid bleeding on the floor, it was not the moment to focus on the mountain-size problem she just got both into. The wound didn’t seem too deep, but too much blood came out of it. Without thinking much about it, he ripped one of his shirt's sleeves to press against the wound to slow down the blood coming out. He had to take her somewhere to treat it quickly. “We have to go to the infirmary. Can you stand?” He asked, yet he was already starting to pick her up before she could answer.

However, INFJ tensed and quickly pushed him away, holding the fabric pressed to her side “No, no no. You can’t take me there. The guards know they wounded me— that they wounded the spy. If I appear as me, simple governess, with a wound like this? They will connect the dots.”

Fuck, she was right. “We have to go out of the castle then.”

She shook her head, “No. Too risky.”

“Well, what the fuck do you want me to do then?! Let you bleed in here? Wait and see if it fixes itself?” Fear was taking a hold on him. She was acting all calm, but blood kept coming out, color was draining from her face, and she was sweating despite the chill of the night.

INFJ tried to stand but before he could stop her, she hissed again and fell back. “Shit.” It was obvious that she was in pain. He carefully picked her up from the ground. There were only two small benches and a table in the room. It was not comfortable, but he decided that table was the best option; it was at least better than the floor. He carefully helped her lay on it. Afterwards, she turned to look up at him, clearly— well, in pain— but also debating something in that head of hers. A moment passed before she gave a defeated sigh. “I need you to go to the infirmary.”

He stared at her dumbfounded, “Do I look to you like the one who needs to go?!”

“No- don’t be stupid.” She hissed, “You did some medical stuff when you were in the first rebellion, right?” Oh, right. He had told her about that. “I need you to go and bring the necessary things to treat this.”

It felt like a punch in the gut every time he was reminded of the lies, he told her. INFJ knew he had participated in the first rebellion; however, she thought he had deserted before ENTJ took the throne.

Thankfully— for her and for him— that part of him working as an improvised physician hadn’t exactly been a lie. He didn’t feel too enthusiastic about the idea though. He ran a hand over his face. “INFJ, this looks bad. I might know some stuff but-”

Her breath hitched as another wave of pain washed through her. Through greeted teeth she answered, “It’s not as bad as it looks; believe me, I’ve seen worse.” That thought was not half as comforting as she thought it to be. “Besides, I know my stuff as well. Just go.”

He wanted to argue more about it but honestly, he was just wasting time. Time that she didn’t have. He took a deep breath and nodded, “Hold your side. I’ll be right back.”

He rushed to the door. He was almost gone when her voice made him stop in his tracks, “Wait!”

He turned to look at her, looking for what was wrong.

'As if the hole in her midriff wasn’t obviously there.'

“Be careful, please. Don’t expose yourself too much.”

But of course; she was the one bleeding out on the table, yet she was more worried about him. She frustrated him— yet he couldn’t deny the warmth that expanded in his chest because of her words. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll be just fine.” He couldn’t say the same about her if he didn’t hurry up. He was about to close the door before saying “Don’t die while I’m gone. Understood?”

She laughed, or at least attempted to. “I’ll try not to.”

The second the door closed he ran towards the infirmary, praying for her to be fine when he came back.

As ENTP opened the door the first sign that told him something was wrong was the silence.

He almost dropped everything, fragile bottles included, as he ran to her side to be greeted by the second sign. A pool of blood had formed over the table. The piece of cloth was soaked. Her hand was barely able to apply any pression. She was pale, eyes closed, and she didn’t react to the sound of the door closing; for a second, he feared she had fallen unconscious. However, she seemed to be talking to herself and tapping the table with her free hand. He left the stuff on the table as gentle as he could possibly be while full panicking, and reached for her. As he touched her face, he cursed under his breath.

Her skin was as cold as ice.

She blinked her eyes open at the feeling of his touch, but even that seemed to be hard for her at the moment. “ENTP?”

“You are freezing-” he announced, though it was more to himself. Quickly he started moving, getting all the equipment ready to treat the wound. Thankfully, the infirmary had been almost empty; not that anyone in the castle would stop him-- but considering the more recent events it was better than he would not have to deal with ENTJ at the moment. At least not until he had dealt with this. While he was reaching for a sedative she started dozing off again, “Hey- hey hey! Stay with me. I need you to be awake.”

“I know." She answered with difficulty "That’s what I’ve been trying to do since you left- Though, if I’m honest I’m sure that for whatever you are going to do I would rather not.”

He opened the bottle of sedative and put it on her lips, “Here. Drink this. It will help.” After one look, INFJ drank the content without questioning, before making a face. ENTP almost felt indignant as he pulled the empty bottle away. “What? Was the taste not of your liking?” he asked sarcastically.

“No- I mean- I didn’t mean that.” She could barely shake her head. “Is just that if that what I think it is, is going to take a while to kick in and I’m sure you are not about to wait so-” she turned her head towards the table he had put the medical equipment on, “you might want to pass me one of those clean cloths to bite down.” She let her head fall back to its original position, eyes barely staying.

He had not considered that at all. But she was right- they didn’t have time to wait. So, he apologetically complied with her request and removed the rag that was over her wound to begin to apply the antiseptic. “I don’t have to warn you; this will hurt.”

She muffled a “I know” back.

And he began.

INFJ seemed light-headed; clearly from the blood loss, pain, and the sedative. As he worked on the stitches on her side, she watched him carefully, “Did you use to do this a lot? Cause you seem surprisingly good.”

He tensed a bit but tried to hide it with a light chuckle. “I fought in the first rebellion, remember?”

“Oh, right.” she uttered.

“Are you used to getting stitches? Cause you seem too good at it.” He half-joked.

The reply was a small snicker. “I’ve had a couple, yeah.” She exhaled heavily, “Though I have a feeling it has more to do with the sedative.”

It was a small relief knowing that she was not in as much pain as before. While he finished the last ones, she barely flinched. On the other hand, she kept staring at him, in that way that made him feel that she was seeing through him. “Why did you turn your back on them?”

ENTP pressed his lips, not daring to look away from what he was doing. He knew what she meant. “It was- it was not what I had hope for I guess.”

She simply nodded at his answer.

After a few seconds of uncomfortable silence— for him— he declared, "I'm done. You are all patch up.” standing up and backing away, perhaps a little too quickly. He was tense for everything that had happened in the last few hours; add to that a reminder to his mountain of lies— he would rather not be reminded of that right now.

INFJ exhaled heavily again and winced a little. He frowned and pressed his lips. Maybe the dose of sedatives he had given her had not been enough, after all. He was about to mention it to her, but she cut him off. She smiled softly at him, “Thank you, ENTP.”

He clicked his tongue, ignoring whatever his heart was attempting to do in his chest “I mean- I’m quite sure I just saved your life. I ain't sure if a ‘thank you’ is enough.”

She almost laughed, but instead winced again as a result. The frown returned to his face; he definitely did not give her enough. However, her smile remained. “Tell me then, what would be enough.”

He mirrored her smile, and his first idea was to annoy her a little.

Flirting had just become natural between them-- as a joke— much to his constant disappointment. Yet he could still manage to make her fluster if he really tried.

But then another thought struck him, and his smile slipped from his lips. He looked down at his hands, still covered in her blood, as he tried to wipe it away with a cloth. “Not putting your life in a situation where it needs saving, maybe could do.”

His words made her smile disappear too, yet she answered nothing.

It felt a little hypocrite, if ENTP was honest. When he first started this whole thing, his sole goal was to end her—oh, how things have changed. He sometimes wished he could go back and never become involved with the spy hunting; it would have been better for her, and for him as well. Nonetheless, the damage was already done, and right now the only thing that kept her from ending hanged, or worse, was him. But if he was not careful enough, both of them would.

Somewhere in his head a whispered spread,

‘For how long he would be able to juggle all of this?’

INFJ suddenly attempted to stand up; she obviously failed. He held her side to stabilize her “Woah, easy there. You need to lay down.”

It seemed like she wanted to argue, yet the pain clearly beat her to it. INFJ allowed him to aid her lay back down in the table. Her eyebrows were still furrowed in pain or exhaustion, and her eyes looked like they were starting to get cloudy. Honestly, he wasn’t sure how she had remained conscious through everything, “I want to go to my chambers.”

It was slightly amazing and slightly terrifying how she sounded so put together even when it was obvious that the sedative was the one speaking now. He softly moved her damped hair out of her face, “I’m sorry but right now that would be too risky.”

“But I want to go.” she replied, barely a whisper “I don’t want to be alone here.”

He didn’t have to think the answer twice, “I will stay, right here with you.” ENTJ and the batshit mess that was surely awaiting for him could still wait a little longer. ENTP grasped her hand; it was still too cold. “When you wake up, I’ll be here. Now, sleep.”

She nodded, yet her eyes remained open. They went towards the ceiling and every few breaths she would close them for some seconds right before opening them again. She was fighting against sleep.

He sat down and stared at her. There was an avalanche of emotions he was yet to deal with, but not right now. Simply, not right now.

“Don’t look at me like that.” INFJ’s voice startled him.

She was now staring at him. His frown deepened, “Look at you like what?”

Her breathed had evened. It was not much, but it was a start. “You are looking at me as if you feel guilty.”

ENTP had to suppress a wince “I-”

“And sad;” she continued “and worried; and angry.”

He laughed softly. If only she knew. “Anything else?”

INFJ remained quiet, yet her eyes seemed to want to say something more. However, sleep finally won the battle and she dozed off.

“You should be resting, you dumbass.”

He had just returned from getting food and water. He obviously did not expect the girl he left to be already up and about.

“How long was I out?” INFJ asked, completely ignoring his comment while looking for something around the room. She had changed into the clean clothes she brought for her, and something told him that what was consuming in the fire was not wood.

He shook his head frustrated. “Did you at least change the bandages?” ENTP asked back while placing the food on the little table.

“I did. How long was I out?” She still wouldn’t look at him; her search for whatever she was looking for seemed more important.

ENTP tutted “A day and some hours. It will be dawn soon.”

That finally caught her attention. She stared at him, blinked once, and her whole expression shifted to one of panic. “Shit.” She started walking towards the door. “Shit,shit,shit,shit-”

“Hey. Hey, where are you going?” He grabbed her by the wrist to stop her. She must still be suffering from blood loss if she thought she could just walk out like this.

Her eyes were wide with worry, “I was lost for more than a day. The guards wounded the spy, and I was lost for more than a day. ENTP, lady ESTJ- she for sure will know something is wrong. I have never missed a day with the kids unreported like this. She- she will know.” She started pulling her wrist attempting to set herself free, “I must go; I must be there before morning. The more time I stay, the more suspicious would be.”

He tightened his grip on her wrist, “There’s no way you are going.” She pulled harder but he didn’t let go, “You are still wounded.”

“Well, both of us are going to be dead if I don’t leave in this instant.” She retorted.

He sighed. From her perspective sure, it made sense. She did not know that he had already solved most of the mess that her actions had caused. ENTP sent a letter to lady ESTJ pretending to be INFJ; he used the chilly weather as the perfect excuse for having gotten terrible flu. The responsible governess would never put the health of the noble’s children at risk like that, so she asked to be excused till the sickness passed. It wasn’t as solid as he would have liked it, but he doubted that anyone around the castle would be examining too closely the misadventures of a governess.

Then he had to deal with ENTJ, who was furious at the spy stealing that specific letter.

ENTJ and ENTP had done a deal when he first learned the identity of the spy. At first, it had been for selfish reasons; as he finally found out the spy’s identity, he realized that he could get more out of the situation if he didn’t hand the girl immediately to ENTJ’s hands. In the context of ENTJ’s court, power was necessary to ensure survival. Knowledge was power. And knowledge that no one else possessed? It was a fucking mine of gold he would not dare to waste.

So, he gained the girl’s trust and convinced his commander that perhaps leaving the spy alive (for a while, at least) could be more useful. Obviously ENTJ understood his motifs behind wanting to keep the identity to himself, yet he allowed it on three conditions.

No more sensitive information could fall into the insurgents' hands.

He must recollect any crucial information he learned from them, and inform it immediately.

When the girl is no longer useful, or any of the other conditions are broken, hand her at once.

He had thought it would be easy.

It was not.

Especially when he started going out of his way to break the second rule about anything that would put her at risk, and as she continued to make the first one as hard as possible for him; the third was simply out of the table.

He got things under control though (barely); all he needed to do was get back the letter the spy stole and give a fake letter to INFJ for her to deliver to her base. She wouldn’t know the content— the girl was almost dying, of course she didn’t have the time to read it— so things should go smoothly from here.

All he had to do was lie. As he had been doing for too long now. “That’s already taken care of. Relax.”

She froze in place and her brows furrowed “What do you mean?”

“ESTJ might have received a letter stating that her governess had caught the flu, and she won’t be able to continue her duties till she gets better.”

As she processed her words a smile slowly spread across her lips. “Huh.” She nodded approvingly. "I didn't know you could fake my writing."

He shrugged faking humility, “What can I say? I’m good, aren’t I?”

She laughed “Oh, thank goodness.,” before exhaling and resting her forehead on his chest, relieved. He was too aware of the sudden contact, as well as of the fact that he was still holding her wrist, yet she didn’t seem to notice. For her it seemed almost natural; that didn’t help his situation. After breathing in one more time she retreated, “Well, that leaves only one thing in my plate.”

‘Actually, getting better?’ He had wanted to ask; but he knew that would have been too hopeful.

She started looking around the space once again, “Where did you put the letter? I have to get it to the base as soon as-”

ENTP burst out laughing; it wasn’t a laugh of joy. “Tell me you are kidding me.” Her eyebrows furrowed again. “Are you trying to imply you can walk through the whole city to get to the base, in that state?” She was crazy if she thought she would make it even halfway.

He knew- he just knew that she wouldn’t even consider asking him to do it. The first months he started spying-- forgive the redundancy-- on the spy, she would constantly push him out of especific jobs or keep some information out of his reach. She wasn’t obvious about it, but he noticed how she danced around certain names or places. He used to believe it was because he didn’t trust him enough- or that she didn’t consider him capable enough. It drove him crazy.

Now he knew better though.

INFJ wouldn’t dare to let him deliver the lette, because if he were to be found with a letter like that in his possession, he would be dead before he could even realize what was happening. It was too incriminating, just like everything she had kept from him. He could tell it was her way of keeping him as apart from this mess as possible.

Or so she thought.

She stuttered “I- I will manage. Don’t worry. Just-”

He shook his head “You are nuts.”

“ENTP, I’m being serious where-”

He interrupted her, again. "I have a question for you. One that I actually wanted to ask since the moment you opened that damn door, all bloodied.” Staring at her, the fake smile he usually reserved for arguments made an appearance. “We had already discussed that letter. You told me that it seemed too risky for something we were not sure it was valuable.” He clicked his tongue. “I mean, it would literally mean walking into the lion’s den- ENTJ study. So why-” Despite his attempts at keeping his face under control, anger poured all over his words. INFJ wasn’t exactly known for changing her mind easily; she didn’t act without a plan beforehand. So, he knew better than to consider this incident as a reckless decision. “Why did you suddenly change your mind?”

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Part 1: 𝔚𝔥𝔬 ℑ 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔱𝔬 𝔟𝔢

Part 2: 𝔚𝔥𝔞𝔱 ℑ 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔲𝔰 𝔱𝔬 𝔟𝔢

Part 4: 𝔚𝔥𝔬 𝔴𝔢 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔡 𝔟𝔢

14 notes · View notes

wonderinc-sonic · 5 days

Text

Tagged by @generic-sonic-fan to do a wip folder dive! But I got distracted from the task oops.

I keep all my stuff unsorted in notes on my phone, because I found that taking away the barrier to writing (e.g. my heavy computer) helped me to just do bits and bobs, here and there. Most of my fics have been written on the train to work!

But this. This is a name and shame. This is a graveyard. I usually do give things a name, so most of these would be the final title... alas. Still, writing this out has been therapeutic for me, and inspired me to maybe put on my big boy pants and delete some of these.

(Key: likely to be published in some form, may be published with reworking, very unlikely/ dead, n/a)

Sonic fics:

Team Dark folder:

Self care - a self care day for team dark (shocker!), likely going to be added to another story atp, because its not got enough of a conclusion on its own.

The Maria Celeste chapter 2 - written, but I hate it and I don't think people would like the direction this fic might take.

Road Trip chapter 2 - may be finished and published soon, n.b. it's gotten very trans.

Rarepair week - I was planning to play, but work is crazy around then, then I'm away from home, so probably will miss it.

Bat-bombed - rouge × lanolin. so close to being done, then I was like 'who gives a shit this is so long' and now I'm not so sure as I was that it's any good. Needs a bit of a shake.

(Wood)worm into my heart - belle × amy. This is cringe-cute, I'll sort it out someday.

KnucklesSilver one? - well its... yeah knuckles × Silver, looking at stars and eating bugsm. I'm worried I shouldn't be shipping Silver anymore because he reads so young to me in IDW I feel weird about the fact that I've written a lot of it already with all my espio × silver.

Refuge Company BEANBAGS BOOKS BLINK - shadow × blaze; in bits, going to be in bits if I ever publish it. Beanbags books blink refers to the imagined scene in my head that made me first ever ship these two when I was a child. I'm trying to capture it in a way that doesn't make me feel completely stupid!

Misc

Petal Soft Cont. - Outlined continuation of the Cyber Virus AU that isn't getting done. I wanted to explore Metal and Amy's relationship, how they feel differently about eachother, but I think this situation where Metal is quite madly in love with Amy who sees herself as a caregiver and would not want to romanticise Metal... is maybe a misstep. Not sure who wants to read that. Instead, I may continue the AU by visiting a few other characters effected and park these two.

Second-Place King cont. (And chapters 4 and 5) - this is ditched. I reread my own story and thought 'this reads like two characters who will have ill-advised sex then regret it', and now I don't wanna write it. They are adults in this, but I don't want to write sex scenes, and I'm not sure Fade to Blacks really work in fanfic - people either seem to want sex, or they don't want any of it, and it'd be neither so it's probably never coming back.

Heroism - atp this is the whole mapped out story of a 5 strand game. I've plotted it completely, and written a few scenes, but I really want to write it in script format, and it just won't get read like that, so likely not worth sharing. If I couls make it a graphic novel, maybe?

Robot Therapy: Orbot, Metal Sonic, Omega (court mandated), Metal Sonic Comes Back - these are all roughly pencilled out with their hooks/punches, but not really sure its interesting to anyone but me.

And, for an about me:

Not Sonic:

This Tornado Loves You - the real shame point, because this is a 90% completed and uploaded persona 4 fanfic that I just... dropped. I abandoned it because it was about a toxic coming of age romance which was interesting self-reflection for me at the time, but I'm now not sure if it was really okay to write that. And because of that;

Turning Yellow - the wider story of the above, abandoned for reasons of containing dark ideas. I am in two minds - on one hand, Persona 4 itself contains minors grappling with sexualising themselves and being sexualised, people killing eachother, going into the mind of a killer etc. But on the other hand, I got scared off from writing the protagonists as potentially vengeful and doing cruel and violent things. So the lesbian-murderer revenge fantasy will not be taking place.

Contests (Contesting Friendships when I published one) - Persona 4 folder of silly games they might play, got cancelled because of the above, even though it's not in that AU - I lost my nerve for all of persona while I was thinking that through.

Book Club - fire emblem three houses, basically retelling of white clouds but only taking place in a fictional bookclub that meets once a month. I'm scared that it's a huge cast and every character has to be exactly as written, and if I'm inaccurate it'll wreck the whole thing, so I keep restarting.

I do - fire emblem three houses. Wedding traditions. I wrote a whole powerpoint of different regional wedding tradition headcanons, and sometimes write stories to go with them. Likely never to be published, but I may put up the Hapi × Constance one someday.

Originals:

Somnos - Script, enormous. Coming of age, kids-save-the-world etc. Heavily influenced by how much persona had my whole heart as a teen. Its only about 50 pages of stuff I like right now, and it will be really long, because it would be a series of maybe hour long episodes (40 pages in script is about 40 minutes of screen time)

Kinship - a cartoon script thats got 1 season half written and the other half planned out and 2 more roughly sketched but not individual episodes nailed down. Also my dissertation from uni back when, always in my heart. Max, a little robot and literally self-made man, goes on a world adventure to try to find people like him. It's just a cute playground for me.

This isnt even including the ideas that don't have their own page/ folder yet 🥴 I swore I'd never be this sort of writer!

Might tag some ppl later in dms, but I gotta get to work now!

#not sonic #writincs #wonderincs #the absolute shame in this lol #its fun tho healthy to look at #also my file storage needs to improve!

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pudding-parade · 2 years

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Hello!:) I'm a fellow simmer and decided to return to ts3. I do have my old downloads folder, but it's... Redundant out of measure. Could you share your resources, please? Tumblrs, websites, creators, cc-finds blogs, Pinterest boards, may be, even noob proof conversion tutorials? Thanks in advance.❤️

Hi there and welcome back to TS3!

I'm probably not the best person to ask this question of, because I don't have a go-to list. Basically, I see stuff around and download or I'll want a specific sort of thing for a lot I'm building and then do a google search (usually an image search, since that seems to work the best for the purpose) and then follow rabbit trails from there. And any kind of list I make will definitely exclude at least one source that I use a lot. Because my brain is as old as the rest of me, alas.

Cutting the rest because babble.

Of course, there's old standbys like Mod the Sims and also The Sims Resource (if you can tolerate the hoops they make you jump through to download unless you pay them *eye roll*). At T$R, I specifically have a lot of stuff made by Mutske, MsBarrows, SIMcredible!, Wolfspryte, and CycloneSue, either because they make stuff that "completes" EA objects or because they tend to make stuff that fits with my aesthetic. Aside from those, I have quite a bit of stuff from Blacky's Sims Zoo (worlds -- especially roadless ones -- as well as objects and clothing that work well with my rustic-but-not-necessarily-historical aesthetic), and Around the Sims. I've also been known to peruse Sims-New, one of the Russian re-upload sites that everyone hates, because they at least give links to the original upload so that I can download from the original uploader, but in some cases the re-upload is the only working link I could find of some stuff I've wanted, especially older stuff.

For mods, you want pretty much everything on the NRaas site if you want your game to run smoothly, and while you're there look up Ani's mods that are hosted there. For my more rustic style of playing, @anitmb (for mods of Ani's that aren't hosted on NRaas), @zoeoe-sims, and @mspoodle1 have some mods and modded objects that are invaluable for my purposes. If you're interested in lighting mods, then @brntwaffle's are lovely, as are @nilxis's (who also makes lovely, albeit usually large, custom worlds).

I don't do a whole lot with custom clothing. Most of what I have I got through finds sites and from SimsZoo, but there are some creators on T$R that make stuff that looks nice in-game and that I have some things from. Bill-sims, Harmonia, and Ekinege come to mind. Also, for men's stuff, download @nectar-cellar's stuff. It's lovely, and it's hard to find good-looking men's stuff that isn't an endless array of sloppy jeans, t-shirts, and hoodies.

Other miscellaneous things: I follow @katsujiiccfinds and @emilyccfinds where I've found stuff I wanted in lots of different categories and then looked and found other stuff from the same creator. I have lots of objects that @martassimsbook has converted to TS3. I get hairs mostly from @ifcasims, @plumdrops, @chazybazzy, and @rollo-rolls, but I replace the textures of any that I download with my own so that everything's consistent. If you want custom worlds, @sims3customworlds is an old blog that hasn't been updated in years, but it has a nice collection of links to lots of different kinds of worlds, some of which I haven't seen on other "finds" blogs. Also, for worlds and lots and such, I like My Sim Realty because their style is in line with my own preferences. @danjaley has lots of stuff that’s good for historical scenarios, which often works for my purposes, too.

And...I think that's it? I'm sure I'm forgetting a ton of people but, like I said, mostly I just cruise around the internet following rabbit trails and seeing what I can find.

#replies

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 2 years

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i just wanna say thank you sooo much for all the stuff you save to google drive and mega like at this point youve probably saved quite a lot of media from being lost for good

Thank you for that, I appreciate it! I don't think I'm personally preserving anything that would be gone otherwise; this is all stuff that I found from other parts of the internet, rather than taking the recordings myself. But it's true that internet is getting scrubbed more by the day, noticeably more now than even a couple of years ago, and I'm more careful than I used to be about keeping everything. I used to be quicker to delete stuff when I was done watching it; now I'll just transfer it to an external hard drive because I don't know if I'll be able to find it again.

In case this is helpful to anyone who happens to see this post, here are the main things I've uploaded:

- A post I made about a year ago with all the stuff I'd uploaded to Google Drive as of then, including my big folder that I paid money for so I could host a whole bunch of my collection

------That big folder is paid up through February 2023, I think I'll pay to renew it when the time comes but I'm never sure what'll happen so if you want anything on there you should download it.

------Ignore the episodes of The Last Leg from seasons 1-11 in that post, that's my collection as it existed last year, with a lot of episodes missing and a lot of episodes that were there in bad quality. Seasons 12 and later were fine in the original collection, but for seasons 1-11, my new and improved collection is now at:

- The Last Leg seasons 1-11, in a Mega account that'll expire on September 5, 2022, and probably won't be renewed after that

- My collection of things that feature Sean Lock and Jon Richardson, including all of 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown and all of the Sean Lock-era 8 Out of 10 Cats, in a Mega account that'll expire on September 5, 2022, and probably won't be renewed after that

- My collection of things by Andy Zaltzman and John Oliver

I am happy to pay for media if there's an easy way for me to pay money that directly supports the artist and the other people who were involved in making it, and in exchange for that money I get a copy of that media that is mine to keep and can't be taken down by the whims of a streaming company. But as long as that is not widely available, I will keep doing things this way and am happy to help other people out with that too because no one loses anything when more people have access to media that they couldn't have found otherwise.

The list from that post of what's in my main Britcom folder is actually a bit inaccurate now, because I took down James Acaster's Cold Lasagne I Hate Myself Show since it's up on Vimeo now. But other than that it should all still be there.

Anyway, thank you for the message, I appreciate it a lot! I hope you have a great time with all the shows on there and have a lovely week!

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mwahkazu · 1 month

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good news, i'm almost finished with my kazhua smau masterpost (which i shall now refer to as ctrl+alt+delete bc it sounded cool, and have no other justification for)

now gotta make a title thing. uhhh i remember you mentioned willing to make a guide for how to use those apps to make those titles? i would love if you could make a guide on it, it would help so much (no pressure tho, if you don't want to then i'll just go figure something else out)

-rin

hello rin! excuse the late reply on this, but i am here to provide you with a quick little guide on how i make my titles for my smaus! i apologize in advance if this guide is a bit messy and just all over the place. this is the first time i’m making an actual guide about something so it may not be the best ..

but without further ado, let’s start!

1. apps

i mentioned this in the previous ask you submitted but i’ll add them here as a reminder just encase! the apps i primarily use for making my smau title headers are picsart and phonto. more so the latter because that’s where i actually make the title. picsart is just where i turn to to crop and add cute little designs (i.e genshin emojis/stickers of characters + extra bits you see)

2. phonto (downloading fonts)

phonto is basically an app that let’s you type out the certain text you want into different fonts. at it’s base it already comes with some pre-installed fonts but if you can also install your own! which is what i do. if you’re fine with just using the fonts already provided you can skip this part!

i’m not sure how this works on android (i have iphone 😅) but what i do is firstly look up some fonts/font combinations on pinterest. there’s some really cool and pretty looking fonts you can find on there and thankfully the people that upload them make sure to include what the name of the font is actually called.

once i’ve found the font(s) i want to use, i then go to a website called dafont.com and this is basically a big catalogue of fonts you can download and use for free! i search up the font name—in this case i searched up a font called “new romantics”—and once it pops up you’ll simply click the download button!

this is where the differences in process may start to occur because i’m not sure how downloading works on android (there are probably some tutorials online). but once i’ve downloaded the font i go into my downloads page, click on the zip and add/open it into my files app. once it’s there i click on the zip file of the font and it will unzip the fonts from that zip into its own folder. some folders may come with a whole bunch of files but basically the ones you’re looking for are the files ending in .ttf

then you’ll either hold or click on the file and share it to the phonto app. it’ll directly open the app and ask whether or not you want to install the font. simply click yes and it’ll download (which doesn’t take long)!

3. phonto (making the title header)

okay! now actually making the title header. this is of course the easiest step but i’ll show you my process! you don’t have to follow exactly what i do. my way of making title headers i developed through lots of testing and trying out different things on the app so just try a few things out yourself and see what you like the most!

once you open the app, you’ll upload an image to the blank workspace(?) where you can add your text. i stick with using a plain 2048x1546 white image but you’re free to choose otherwise!

you’ll then tap on your image and click add text. type whatever you want (in this case your smau’s/story’s title) and it’ll pop up. when you actually click on the textbox you’ll be given lots of options such as changing the font, size, color, etc. take this time to experiment with it all, try out different font combinations and overall just learn what different buttons do.

once you’re satisfied with the what you have, you’ll save the image, and now we switch over to picsart.

4. picsart

open up picsart and click on the purple plus button below to create a new piece. find the image of your title and open that up.

now my picsart may looks a different because i shamelessly pay for the extra features but you can do just fine without them too!

you’ll first click on the tools button and then click the crop button. you’re given different options on how you want to crop your image. i go with the twitter header crop style.

now you can gladly stop here and just stick with the text but sometimes i like to add cute little designs! and for that you’ll go to the stickers button! go crazy here, add anything you want to give it some nice extra decoration. i just stick to adding some text or the genshin chibi stickers :3

and once all that is done and you’ve added everything you want to add, save the image and you’re done!

5. extra notes

because of the white background used in the text i mainly stick to using the light mode theme of tumblr so it looks more fitting in my posts even though it kills my eyes everyday </3 so this may not look as appealing to look at in other modes.

but if you want to stick to a theme you can always change the background color of the image you used in order to blend in with the color of your post based on your theme

hopefully this guide was helpful for you rin and anyone else who wanted to learn! if there’s any confusion about a certain part that needs more clarification don’t be afraid to ask! i’ll do my best to help!

#[ ౨ৎ ] — mailbox.#really this whole guide is kinda just teaching the technical part of the process i do #but when it comes to style/theme that is all up to you! everyone’s got their own preferences and your title should reflect your own ideas!

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whatsanalec · 3 years

Text

Bystander

I began this semester wanting to focus, or at least start working, on film work. But due to mental health and motivation issues, I didn't get as much done as I would have liked to.

Last semester during the Moving Image module, I came up with a concept for a short film about someone who wakes up in what they think is a parallel universe and they find their alternate self, who seems to be a happy and extroverted person - complete opposite tot he depressed and reclusive protagonist. Over time the protagonist gets increasingly more comfortable being around their alternate self, whereas the latter's true colours start to show and the two don't seem as different after all. Just as the protagonist feels happy with them, the alternate self commits suicide and the protagonist realises they were in fact watching their last moments.

Bleak, I know, but it's an interesting concept and a nice twist on the typical parallel universe and life flashing before your eyes tropes.

My partner and I ended up not going through with the idea because they weren't feeling it and we settled with something much less interesting and artistic. No, I'm not bitter, why would you think that?

Anyway, with its themes of depression and reflection, I still really want to see it through.

At the start of the semester, I was staying back home with my parents until mid February and I couldn't do any practical work because all my materials were still in Dundee. So what I did do was develop this story idea.

The main problem I ran into was that I felt it wasn't abstract or, for a lack of a better word, arty enough for a fine art work. Because of this concern, I began thinking about what I could do to make it more fitting for the course.

I began with listing story beats and themes I had in mind and thought about how I could interpret them in a fine art context. (Apologies for my handwriting)

From here, I'm going to refer to the characters as P (protagonist - the one in the parallel universe) and Alt (the alternate self who lives here).

I came up with a few ideas. The first was a static shot, the composition being the two selves standing side by side. P appears sky and reluctant, Alt the opposite. Over time (I was imagining probably 2 minutes max.) their attitudes slowly switch and just as P reaches out to Alt, the latter dies/disappears. The film loops.

The most interesting thing about this concept was the ideas for the sound I had. It's a roadside setting so the sound of traffic was a given, but I had the idea of having it play in slow motion or reversed or both, which would give it a really interesting and eerie feel. This was influenced by my video work Strangers from last semester (link) where I had the sound of heavy breathing in normal speed and slowed simultaneously.

The execution of this would be difficult and possibly involve greenscreen, which I wanted to steer clear from in order to make it seem more real.

I also thought about using POV, kind of like Peep Show. I also thought about using over-the-shoulder shots and how either of these would work, considering P is in a Ghost of Christmas Past kind of state.

Another idea was to have the characters' eyes as the subject in each shot and have the reflections in their eyes tell the story. This would be very ambitious when I think about it and would involve a lot of post-production finikityness to get it just right. But it would also hit home the theme of reflection. I made a concept frame in photoshop of what that would look like.

At some point I just took a couple pages in my notebook to vomit thoughts and ideas onto, which was quite fun and productive.

But at the end of the day, I just wasn't as into this whole idea as when I was thinking about doing a less abstract, more movie-like film. I even had a couple shot ideas for it:

After I got back to Dundee, this project took the back seat now that I could do physical work. But in this last week, I've begun writing the script for the full version of Bystander. It's my first proper script and I'm having fun with it. I'll upload what I've got so far to my assessment folder. This might be more of a personal project rather than something I do as part of the course. I want to get into the cinematography business so I gotta get this done.

#sem2

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frogsandfries · 2 years

Text

I haven't really gotten any of the things done that I wanted to

With my weekend.

I did however, build a--what, 30×60 or so gaming desk/recreation table for the living room, 90% unassisted, because trying to communicate with most people is a little frustrating for me. My partner and I might as well speak different languages at times.

We had to get over to the post office to pick up my shelf. I also ended up building the thirty dollar book shelf by myself, got it situated in the dining room and started to just toss some books on it. I was trying to tease my partner a little, since he was such a pain about getting an aesthetic book shelf. He would only go for a classic/traditional shelf.

So anyway, now, I have a bit of a traffic jam going on in my dining room. The pest control guys pulled out our kitchen drawers, but when putting the first one back in, it broke, so I just stopped, so now our drawers are sitting on top of this tote that I moved our food in when we moved, and then when we had to empty the kitchen, we were still using that tote to store the pantry goods because we hadn't gotten our kitchen shelving yet. Now that we have that, I finally emptied this kitchen tote of food. Now that's where the kitchen drawers are awaiting maintenance to come and fix the one and put the rest back.

As a result, I was going to put the old desk that I was using for work at the previous apartment and my partner commandeered for the laptop for the living room, into the dining room for the printer. Maybe I'll just put the printer on top of the plastic drawers and break this old desk down and toss it in the closet.

So anyway, late in the afternoon, I finally got around to sitting down with my sketchbook. But not the way I'd planned.

It turns out that somehow, I've been missing photographing my lineworks. I've been using my phone while I'm at work to reference previous frames. And then I'm flipping through my folders on my phone and not finding these frames. Now I'm cramming in flipping frantically through my sketchbook to find these frames that I'm trying to reference.

So I went back, actually to the start of this sketchbook and compared frame by frame of the frames had made it into my ready-to-color lineworks folder. I labeled them like "228b", and there were like three or four of them. When I had double-checked the whole sketchbook, then I had to go back through and relabel about a hundred frames. Ugh. I guess I just need to be more careful when adding frames to my folders.

Finally. I was able to start working on finishing off this sketchbook.

Then my partner started yelling from the other room (because I don't usually check my messages while working, because then I get distracted) about the WebToon. Just this first strip has gotten what I think is a decent amount of attention. Two comments, seventeen views, and three, I think that's followers/watchers.

Sure, I probably should have started with like, three pages/strips, but at one upload a week, I'm far outstripping (ba-dum tsss) any of the webcomics that I've looked at. At least to start. I know ten frames a week is not sustainable because I do not produce anything like ten frames a week. I think in a good week, I do something like three frames. But I'll be able to play off the change in schedule with coming to the next issue. I think by the time I get issue one entirely posted, I should be able to survive posting issue two biweekly.

After that, who knows. I'm thinking about dropping the Tumblr. It doesn't get a lot by way of likes or reblogs. I can't see if it gets any kind of viewership because of the way Tumblr gives us stats. So I'll post out to the end of issue one and when I go back to do links, I'll just reroute whatever traffic the Tumblr does get to the WebToon and my Amazon, when that goes live.

Which probably just won't even be till May anyway, at the rate I'm putzing around. I know there's no hurry to finish off this sketchbook and there is/should be hurry to finishing coloring this issue so I can hurry up and iron out all the Amazon KDP kinks. But finishing a sketchbook and starting a new one is kind of exciting. This is the first sketchbook of final official graphic novel art. It would've been amazing to have just started ten years ago, just gone for it, unapologetically. It would've been kinda cool to see ten years of hard work behind me. But I feel like if I'd tried to spend my college years on this, the growth would've been abrupt and jerky, and I probably would've fallen into the redraw trap constantly. I wouldn't have been able to move past the first few pages. Bad enough, I've probably redrawn those first few pages more than a few times, every time I thought now, I'm definitely going to start this graphic novel. I'm actually sick of drawing those pages and I'm never ever looking back. I'm actually even sick of seeing them. I never want to see them again.

Probably one day, several years from now, when I'm getting closer to finishing the story, maybe then I'll look back and be like, those were the days, and look how far the art has come.

Speaking of which, I'm trying to get these new thumbnails out--with everything else going on with the graphic novel and the rest of my life, obviously totally new content is like, way down the list of priorities. I'm trying to keep the style growing fairly consistently, and not think too hard about what that means when I'm saying these two tracks of the story will progress in parallel and then reach a point where they connect from two parallels into one continuum and I'll have this kind of jump back in style????

I'm hoping to avoid a style jump. Somehow. I think mostly, working on this part of the story is a priority, less to avoid the style jump and more to give me some kind of breathing room to see if anything needs to be clarified with more frames, or less frames, or rearranged. It's a new section of the story that I haven't had art just sitting around for years waiting to be redrawn (although we all know all I did was redraw those old frames, which is how 214 frames has turned into 281 frames at time of posting) (as I color, we know I'll add at least five frames into what I already have). I want to give it that time sitting--it won't get anywhere near five years to sit, but it'll get even more time to sit and breathe than frames for issue two, and that's what I need from material that far out.

So if there's some kind of style wobble that is apparent to the reader/viewer of the comic, I guess in conclusion, that's less important to me than just giving the new material time to sit, uncolored, not even on deck, to be colored soon, just sit and exist outside of my head. This way, when it is time to color it and such, I can see the material with a little more clarity and objectivity, the way I've been able to with these frames from 2015.

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