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u-n-lucky-being · 5 months

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𝔐𝔲𝔡𝔡𝔩𝔢𝔡 𝔅𝔦𝔫𝔡𝔰

Part 4: 𝔚𝔥𝔬 𝔴𝔢 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔡 𝔟𝔢

INFJ x ENTP

Tags: f!INFJ, m!ENTP, ft. m!ENTJ, ENTJ is an asshole in this one (sorry to all my ENTJ who are not machiavellian tyrants <3 love you all), lovers to enemies (kinda), kingdom setting, there’s an insurgence, kind of historical fiction (…I think? I’m not sure how this genre is called), angst, mentions of torture, threats of murder, mentions of murder, mentions of violence, blood, wounded character, mentions of war, curse words are used, I’m bad at tagging, hurt/comfort (I think?), fluff (I hope), I don’t know what else to add, please tell me if I should add anything else.

Word count: 3.5K

Summary: There wasn't a sole point where both of them started changing each other, but there was a day where decisions were taken.

(Part 1: 𝔚𝔥𝔬 ℑ 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔱𝔬 𝔟𝔢)

(Part 2: 𝔚𝔥𝔞𝔱 ℑ 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔲𝔰 𝔱𝔬 𝔟𝔢)

(Part 3: 𝔚𝔥𝔬 𝔴𝔢 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔡 𝔟𝔢)

A/N: I swear I rewrote a very specific part of this one like twelve times. I really really hope it came out decent. Anyways, enjoy, this one has a bit of fluff. Advice and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated.

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“Why did you suddenly change your mind?”

Silence filled the room. He watched her as she pressed her lips and looked to the side; he knew the answer before it came out of her mouth. “Direct orders-”

"-from the base; Of course." He sneered, “As long as it is not their life on the line—”

She took a step towards him and extended her hand, “Just give me the letter, ENTP. I’ have no time for this. I'm serious.”

He bit the insides of his cheek and shook his head. “No. You are wounded and need rest. I’m not giving it to you to run across the town just to reopen the stitches I made.”

She was about to open her mouth, but he beat her to it.

“Also, you are still within the castle’s territory. If someone sees you, they will know that the letter to ESTJ was a lie. Are you going to risk it?”

She ran a hand through her face, “ENTP-”

He started to turn around, “Eat. Drink water and rest. I’m going-” something suddenly stopped him.

Now it was her the one holding his wrist. “Give me the letter.”

He ignored her.

For someone with a wound as hers she moved too quickly. In a blink she planted herself in front of the entrance, blocking the door. “INFJ, please move.”

“No.”

“Move.”

“No until we talk.”

“We are talking, aren’t we?” He responded sarcastically.

“I need the letter.” She answered with an almost pleading tone.

“You need to rest.” He returned. “You went like an idiot and put everything at risk for the goddamned thing. Least you could do is to stop jeopardizing everything else for it.”

INFJ inhaled sharply, yet she recomposed herself quickly. “Look I know, ENTP. I know.. I know this kind of life is dangerous-” She started “and I know I’m putting you at risk with this— that’s why I didn’t want to bring you in the start-”

Her words had felt like a slap to the face. “Do you really think it’s me that one I’m worried about?” Seriously? Did she really believed that? He took a step closer towards her, eyes locked on hers. “Look at yourself. Do you really think I’m scared for my life?”

Something shifted in the way INFJ was looking at him at his words, though he couldn’t exactly put a finger on what. She took two steps back. “ENTP, this is my job.” She finally said as if that should answer something for him.

He scoffed. “Those bastards send you, over and over, with another mission that will most likely kill you, while most of them stay in the base? All safe?” He spat. “They all left you all the dirty work, didn’t they?”

She sighed “We have different-”

He interrupted her before she could try to excuse them. “What about the day it eventually kills you? What then?” INFJ didn’t answer, she just looked away. “They don’t care. They are basically killing you themselves.” Her eyes were out of his reach, but he knew his words had landed.

Through the time they spent together he learned something about her that he wasn’t even sure if she knew herself. She was lonely. Worse than that, she had fully embraced the idea of dying for this cause- for her people, and the few ones that knew just stood to the side and let her. Originally, he had meant to exploit that weakness. But, now? Knowing what he did made him want to burn all that precious south-east base of hers himself.

He wanted to shout at her to run away from it all. She was worth more than a fucking letter— worth more than the fucking information in it. She was worth more than an ‘if,’ than the ‘maybe’s’ that her leaders kept risking her for. Cause what if they failed? She would have given it all for what? She was better far from it all. Far from the insurgence, from the castle, from ENTJ— and from him. She had to leave it all behind; and he knew it would also mean leaving him behind. It hurt, but reallistically, the second the truth came out she would leave him either way. And even if she by some miracle didn't- he was still ENTJ right hand. Being tied to him, her being who she was, was the same as being tied to a rock and being thrown on a river. So as much as it hurt, he needed to convince her to leave it all. It was the only way to keep her safe.

However he couldn't deny that the time he still had left- well, he tried to make the most out of it. He didn't know when their time would run out, but till then, he could pretend he could allow himself to love her. And maybe she could love him back.

So it hurt him, and he knew it hurt her, but at the moment he wanted her to listen; he wanted her to face the reality of her situation. “You are just a tool for them.”

He saw her pressing her lips, right before eyes cold as ice stared back at him “And I’m fine with that.”

He felt as if someone twisted a knife in his chest. “You are unbelievable.” Venom tainted his voice as he answered. “Are you aware that there will be a moment where this will end you?”

She answered solemnly “If it’s for the greater good, who cares about one death?”

The emotions he had been repressing for too long all came pouring the second she finished that sentence. With what she implied with it.

“I care!” Something might have echoed in his brain telling him to shut up before he complicated things more for both, but he couldn’t bear it. He needed her to hear him. “I care. I care about you. I care what happens to you! I am the one who almost saw you die! I had to wash your blood from my hands! If those motherfuckers in your goddamn base can’t relate, I do not give two shits!" Anger flowed through him the more he thought about it. "And still you- caring more about a fucking letter than your own life! Well, fuck it! I care!”

He waited for a response from her part, yet he didn't know exactly what kind of response.

She shook her head. It was a slight gesture, almost imperceptible, but he saw her shaking her head ‘no.’

It would be hilarious if it wasn’t so tragic. Both feared that if they didn’t push the other away, they might cause them harm; the only difference is that between the two he was the one who knew better.

“Don’t say stuff like that.” INFJ finally said.

Despite knowing better, he couldn’t remain silent. He could lie about many things, but not this. “I’m sorry if you don’t want to hear it, but it is the truth.”

“You will regret it.” she said, barely above a whisper, as if fearing the words coming out of her own mouth. “You said it before. I’m a tool for the insurgents, and there’s only one way that’s going to end for me and its six feet underground.” She smiled, but the expression was not a happy one; it was filled with sorrow. “Yet I won’t leave. I can’t leave ENTP. This is where I’m supposed to be.”

Stubborn. Stubborn and stupid, that’s what she was.

However, he knew; even when he wanted to convince himself otherwise, he knew that insisting on it wouldn’t change her mind. He had to find a different way. He would.

She took in his silence and added. “There’s no happy ending for me.”

“Well," He answered the only response he could think of." I might be a sucker for tragedies.”

He wouldn’t give her up, not even if the ending might hurt.

She smiled at him, but she looked almost devastated. He was sure she returned his feelings; he had confirmed it that day in the library. But whatever her mind was spinning around kept her heart at bay. He wanted to tell her to stop; to stop whatever direction her mind was stuck in, to stop thinking about the rest of the world, to stop looking at the big picture for a moment. He wanted to tell her to just be there, with him, for a second. To think for a moment of a different life. She had done enough for the insurgents; she could run away right now, live a peaceful life, and he was sure she would still have done more than the vast majority of all the rebels.

But how do you tell someone to break and reshape the way their mind was built to think?

ENTP got closer to her and leaned slightly in to look her better in the eyes. To his surprise she closed her eyes and laid her forehead on his. His hands found their way towards the back of her neck, and her own hands reached back towards his as a response, gently tickling him in the process. He closed her eyes as well and breathed her scent in. This was comforting, somehow. He wasn’t sure what they had become of each other, and he knew she wouldn’t have answer either. This was more than a partnership— even within all the lies and secrets in between; they cared for each other, and in a terrifying realization he understood that they cared for each other more than they cared for their goals.

He was willing to destroy everything he had built alongside ENTJ for her.

And he knew, somehow, that he had become her biggest weakness. The crack in the wall of her perfect fortress— the one who might convince her to forget all of this. All of what she had built herself to be.

That’s why she wanted him at a distance. That’s why he terrified her.

It only made the pain of his lies hurt more. When he started this, that had been exactly what he wanted. But now that he was sure he had a piece of her heart in his hands, he kind of wished she had never given it to him.

She sliced his hands from his neck to his shoulder and breathed in, eyes still closed, as if trying to get more of that feeling of closeness; that comfort. Maybe that’s what they were; each other’s comfort. From the world, from the threads pushing and holding them back. In an almost ironic kind of way she had become the one person he was the most honest with. He didn't have to guard himself around her, he could just be. ENTP wasn't sure how— just that it was.

He felt her pull back a little, and ENTP tried to ignore his body's collective complaints. He slowly opened his eyes, only to find INFJ staring right at him.

She looked troubled; and she also looked yearning.

He then noticed how her gaze had fallen into his lips, and he had to stop himself from giving in to the urge to lick them. This reminded him too much of that day in the library. It would be a lie to tell that his feelings had started that day; however, it was that day where they became undeniable. When he first realized how much he actually wanted to hold her, to kiss her, to be closer. Not to manipulate her nor seduce her— simply, he wanted to.

He gulped. Staring at her lips as well for a second, and he wondered what she could read in his eyes right now. His heart was racing, and he unconsciously had pulled her closer again. He could feel the tension in her neck, and when his eyes returned to hers, he could also see the debate going on inside.

He had his own debate going on. This would complicate things; this would put both of them in greater danger. But the truth was that both were already too deep in each other. It didn’t matter if he kissed her right now or if they never even touched each other again; the feelings were already there. So, who cared if this happened?

Maybe he was just not thinking straight.

ENTP leaned in and closed his eyes. He left a tiny bit of space between their lips, enough for her to back away if she decided to do so, but also enough close for her to know he had taken his decision.

Shivers ran through his spine as she felt her breath on his lips. “This is a bad idea.” She whispered.

ENTP whispered back “I know.”

He waited a few seconds, half expecting her to pull back.

With his eyes still closed, nothing gave him a warning till her lips were already on his. He has had his share of kisses throughout his life; this was different.

It was soft and slow; almost painfully so. He wouldn’t lie— he was holding back. He was holding back so much. She was injured, after all. However, she was not making it easy for him, as she pulled him to deepen the kiss. It was that it felt better than everything he had ever felt; even the torturous pace that was driving him crazy. It felt too good. It felt right. Maybe slow, maybe soft, but it was deep. Deep in emotions. Deep in sensations. Everything felt like too much, while still not being enough. Her hands moved back to the back of his neck, and his traveled to her waist. He was pulling her just as much as she was pulling him, as if both of them were trying to get even closer; as if that was humanly possible.

They both were hardly breathing. All his senses were awake, yet it felt like they could only react to her now; if the castle was crumbling around them, he did not know or care.

He hadn’t even realized they had been moving till he felt her back hit the door. He pulled away quickly, scared of her injury reopening. Her eyes fluterred open as his hands left her waist and he pressed them into the door instead; their chest remained touching.

Both were trying to recover their breath from what had just happened. He could feel her heartbeat as much as he was sure she could feel his. He laid his forehead back on hers.

It couldn’t have been more than a minute, but it felt like it could have lasted hours. Still, he secretly wished it had lasted longer. Their gaze met, and for a second, he was worried about finding regret in her eyes, but there was none of that. Just his own emotions reflected right back at him. The moment he pulled back was almost painful, but both of them knew better than to allow this to go too far. Or maybe they were already too far but were trying to gain a sense of control back.

He backed a few steps, and she cleared her throat. It seemed like INFJ wanted to say something, but words just wouldn’t come out.

The stupid half of his brain smirked, yet the reality soon caught up.

“I’m not leaving you.” He found himself saying before he could realize. “Even if you don’t leave. I’m staying.”

The subtle blush she had from the kiss intensified slightly and she smiled softly, yet she could not hide the worry behind her eyes. “Alright.” She answered, yet he could have sworn he heard the unspoken words ‘I hope you’ll change your mind sooner than later.’

A couple hours later he found himself checking INFJ’s stitches and changing the bandages when a question that had been haunting him left his lips. “Why do you refuse to leave?” ENTP didn’t look her in the eye. Sure, they had already been close like this, but the kiss had made things-- confusing. “The insurgents. I mean- you have nothing to gain from this.”

He had figured that the best way to know was to ask her directly. During their months working together they had talked about a lot of things, yet she always managed to keep certain topics out of reach; much like him. This one being one of them.

Any of the options that had popped in his head as a possible explanation just didn’t make sense. She didn’t have a family, she wasn’t close to pretty much anyone, there were no ties to fight for; even if she stayed within the country, she could have even become an actual governess, and live a comfortable life without trouble.

So why?

INFJ was sitted on what at this point became their improvised medical table, her borrowed shirt half lifted for him to have access to her injured side. He had brought some more stuff for her to remain there hidden for the day, and at night they would go to another of her safe hideouts, one that was further from the castle and was a decent place for her to rest. He, by some miracle, also managed to convince her to let him deliver the stolen letter to the insurgents, so two letters found themselves in his pockets.

The original would be returned to ENTJ, and hopefully that would calm him enough for him to forget about decapitating the spy as soon as possible.

The fake copy would be delivered to the insurgent leader of the south-base, containing no relevant information. Not that they would know about that last part.

She thought about his question for some seconds, “When the first rebellion happened, ENTJ did something that stuck with me and will always stay with me. He gave people hope.” ENTP did not expect that answer. Before he could question it, she continued, “It sounds funny now, but it is true. How many years- decades even, had our people lived without any expectation nor hope for change? The royalty and nobility were corrupt, but that’s how it had always been; most of us had to fend for ourselves or die of hunger, but that’s how it always was. There was nothing to do about it, right?”

He finally decided to look into her eyes, but he found them staring far away, far past these four walls, lost somewhere he couldn’t reach. “But then came this man— this crazy lunatic man— telling people things didn’t have to be that way. Yes, he had an army by his side— I mean, you were a part of it. You would know it better than me, after all.” She noted. “But this one man was who gathered them all. He fought against what was wrong, what had been wrong for so long. Many still thought he wouldn’t change a thing; that he would be a memorable martyr they would remember with melancholy.” Some unexplainable emotion tainted her words as she finished. “And then he did it; he changed things.”

His always present impulse to argue intervened. “For the worse, some may argue.” He might be on ENTJ side, but he could still listen to what most people believed; and they all believed ENTJ to be a dick.

A joyless laugh escaped her. “Yes, for the worse.” She agreed. “But he gave a gift to people, whether or not on purpose. He proved that things could change. He gave them hope.”

He pulled the rest of her shirt down and straightened himself. “I don’t get it.”

She licked her lips, thinking, yet the action distracted him from the conversation for a second.

“One person.” INFJ said. “One person can change things.”

He leaned in on the table, closing the space between them. “Only if they have the means to do it.” Like an already high position within the nobles and military, like ENTJ.

She smiled; playful eyes insistent on not giving in. “You find the means. And, well- you have to leave the rest to hope.”

He snickered, “So stubbornness and good luck, is it?”

INFJ shrugged, “What’s the other option? Think of yourself as helpless and hopeless?” She shifted her attention to a loose thread on her shirt-- or well, his shirt that she borrowed. “I’m sure you know about it. What else you would join the first rebellion, and now the insurgence?”

Her words hit him like a bucket of cold water.

“You also wanted for things to change, right?” Before he could attempt to, she answered herself, “So you went and did something about it. One cannot leave things and just wait for them to change; you must be the one working towards the future you want.”

His eyebrows furrowed, “What-” he thought about it for a moment, “What if you want them to go one way, and they go another? If you work hard for something and the result is still disappointing?”

ENTP couldn’t lie to himself. The first rebellion did not have any of the expected results. He thought that with time things would become better. But for how long had he been waiting now?

She frowned and got lost in thought for a moment, “I guess that then the only thing that’s left is to try to fix it, in whatever measurement you can.”

“And if it is unfixable?” he countered.

“The past is unfixable. But the future?” Her determined smile returned, “That’s ours.”

He pressed his lips, the tentation of meeting hers with them being a little too much. Yet the words stuck in his mind. Once again he found himself puzzled by her; claiming to own the future— only to then declare she was bound to meeting tragedy.

That day ENTP delivered two letters.

One of them went into the hands of the insurgents.

Its fake copy was burnt the minute he delivered it to ENTJ hands.

He had also taken two decisions.

One: he would start fixing things, as best as he could.

Two: If the future was really theirs, he would find a way out. He would convince INFJ that she could be more than a tragedy waiting to happen.

Cause she was right about something, the past they could not change but for the future?

Possibilities were endless.

And ENTP would find a way where there was none.

ENTP opened the cell’s gate, and a similar image to last time greeted him. The difference being that her eyes were opened this time, staring at him from the second he walked inside. She didn’t even flinch as he went near her.

He wasn’t sure what to say— what the fuck could he even say in a situation like this?

It was her who broke the silence, “Hi.”

Perplexed, but still unsure how to act he responded back, “Hi.”

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Part 1: 𝔚𝔥𝔬 ℑ 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔱𝔬 𝔟𝔢

Part 2: 𝔚𝔥𝔞𝔱 ℑ 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔲𝔰 𝔱𝔬 𝔟𝔢

Part 3: 𝔚𝔥𝔬 𝔴𝔢 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔡 𝔟𝔢

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