I'm almost 25. 24 was the age that when I looked in the mirror I looked older. And now that I'm nearing the end of this age, I feel wiser too.
I used to not have much empathy, not consider myself a very emotional person. I used to brush off things I thought were just cheesy. Now I see all those things are very much real. Now it feels glaringly obvious. I've had my head in the clouds my whole life and I got ripped out and thrust on the pavement hard. Not to say I haven't faced hardships before but this one just hit me harder than anything else I have ever been through.
It still hurts, every single day. But as long as this is the way it is, there is nothing I can do but what I do best. Run away from the problem. Nothing else will change, so be the change you want to see I guess. You have the power to change things. If other things won't change, then make it happen. I'm leaving so I don't have to be around the problem anymore. No more anxiety, no more reminders of my big mistake popping around corners when I least expect it. I'm going to go hide and make a new start so I can finally forget about it.
Happiness is in my nature. It is what I seek. You are making me incredibly sad so I'm out. But don't think that I regret this mistake, it has enriched my life and made me see yet another way this chaotic world is so beautiful. Beauty is pain as they say.
Just remember anyone reading this, there is always someone out there who loves you more than you'll ever know.
for your matchups 🥺 ‘cause i wanna come to the summer camp, too!!
߮߰♡߮߬ — m’an enfp
߮߰♡߮߬ — for the colors: the shade of pink that’s almost purple
߮߰♡߮߬ — 1st song: rushes by frank ocean
߮߰♡߮߬ — 2nd song: pussy fairy by jhene aiko
߮߰♡߮߬ — i’d like to b shipped w a male from aot
߮߰♡߮߬ — extra stuff:
m’bratty n kinda mean but coincidentally i am also very soft, and always want to kiss.
i like adventurous things, and i like singing bad duets, and literally anything as long as me n my baby can do it together.
hi sem!! 😳♡ i was so happy to see you followed me and joined the event, i love your blog ♡♡
you're going to a beach party with Jean~
You feel a pair of arms engulf you as you're swaying on the dancefloor "How about a kiss?" the familiar voice asks, his warm breath fanning your ear.
"Did I seduce you with my moves?" you tease as Jean turns you around, a smirk on his face before he leans in to kiss you.
livia's summer camp ~ mini match-up event - closed
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Fukuzawa and Ranpo's Dynamic | INFJ + ENTP
*Spoilers for The Untold Story of the Founding of the Detective Agency
Establishing Fukuzawa's Ni-Ti Loop
After solving the murder in the company president's office and taking Ranpo to a teahouse as a reward of sorts, Fukuzawa realized that the latter was unaware of his intellect. But since there was nothing a lone wolf like him could do, he prepared to leave. Ranpo expected more, asking if Fukuzawa felt anything towards an orphan fourteen-year-old with no money or place to go. Fukuzawa gave Ranpo his name card and offered to help for free if he got into danger, then left. Ranpo got up and immediately went to a public phone to call Fukuzawa;
“Bodyguard-san, please, help me. I have no job and I don’t even know where to rest my head tonight. I’m about to die.”
“…Then I’ll recommend a place to stay.”
“Can’t find a new job. I’m about to die.”
“Then… follow me to my next client. I can’t hire you, but my client is looking for new employees. I’ll introduce you, alright?”
So while regretting this and mentally drafting about 50 plans to leave Ranpo, Fukuzawa took him to his next job. There is a pretty clear lack of Fe in Fukuzawa's thought processes here, which is especially strange considering how empathetic and morally sound he has proven himself to be.
Establishing Ranpo's Ne-Fe Loop
That aforementioned job happened to be at a theater, where it had been hinted at that a murder would take place. Some time into the play, Ranpo asked Fukuzawa why people were paying to watch the "incredibly predictable" story. Despite Fukuzawa telling him not to talk during the performance, Ranpo continued getting increasingly frustrated with the play and shouted what happened right before it did. This caused the crowd to start speaking among each other in surprise, while Ranpo lashed out, snapping at Fukuzawa;
"I don't understand what anyone is thinking! I'm scared! It feels like I'm surrounded by monsters! No matter what I say, nobody understands me! My parents were the only ones who did, and they're dead! ... Why? I don’t understand anything, I don’t understand anyone! Why are adults like this, why is society like this?! No one has ever explained to me!”
“Enough! I’ll tell you. I’ll give you an answer you can accept, so just stop.”
The first act of the play came to a close and allowed a fifteen-minute intermission, so Fukuzawa dragged Ranpo out into the lobby. Ranpo told Fukuzawa to scold him, as he'd dealt with it plenty of times already to know where the conversation was headed. (There have also been hints of unhealthy inferior Si usage.) There is a pretty clear lack of Ti in Ranpo's thought processes here, which is especially strange considering how rational and logically sound he has proven himself to be.
Exploring Loop Interactions: Breaking the Ne-Fe Loop
In response, Fukuzawa answered with Ti;
“You are… an ability user.”
“That ability allows you to see the truth with just one glance. It’s in the play, too, isn’t it? There are people who possess special abilities, and those abilities don’t always make them happy. The reason you have to suffer and see everyone else as monsters is because of your ability.”
“You have to control it. You are special because you have a special ability, and in order to prove that, I’ll teach you how to control that ability. If you borrow power from an object, you’ll be able to use your ability freely, and you’ll have a way to control the ability that might make you suffer.”
“…?? An object… which is…?”
“…What’s that, glasses…?”
“It’s an ornament I received from a descendant of a noble family in Kyoto. When you wear this, your ability will be free, and you’ll see the truth in no time. On the other hand, you’ll overlook everyone’s ignorance when you’re not wearing it. And I’ll… give it to you.”
“…Ah… but no matter how you look at it, it’s a normal pair of glasses.”
“For you who have just learned of special abilities, it’s not unusual to think so.”
Seemingly accepting this reason, Ranpo was relieved that all the pain he suffered seemed to have some sort of meaning (Nx), and no one actually hated him after all (Fe).
Exploring Loop Interactions: Breaking the Ni-Ti Loop
Fast-forward and Ranpo got himself kidnapped (not too surprising) so Fukuzawa went searching, and arrived just in time to stop Ranpo from being shot to death. Fukuzawa literally slapped and shouted at Ranpo for risking his own life even though he was just a child (14 at this time). But after getting patted on the head because Fukuzawa couldn’t think of anything else, Ranpo just clung onto him, crying and repeating over and over that he was sorry. After that day, Ranpo became very attached to Fukuzawa. Not having the heart to make him leave, Fukuzawa hired him to do miscellaneous work in exchange for clothes, food, and education. With Ranpo’s deduction, they were able to prevent any harm to clients; as a result, Fukuzawa came close to losing his job as a bodyguard. But Ranpo started to get requests as a detective, and since Fukuzawa was the only person Ranpo ever listened to, clients all offered to double the money for Fukuzawa to be with him. This went on for a year, and that’s where the idea of the agency came from.
After working with Ranpo, Fukuzawa realized that he still wanted to fight for justice in this world (Fx), and he wanted the fight to go on even after their deaths (Ni), so they needed to be more than just a duo; there needed to be more people (Fe).
The INFJ-ENTP loop dynamic is described pretty perfectly in just a couple sentences here: https://twitter.com/rainbobrain/status/613907036112310272