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goneboyy · 7 years

Audio

Arrival soundtrack

this song is gorgeous.

life is sometimes so stressful and can get really tough. and sometimes it can be so beautiful. so so beautiful. and im so thankful to be alive and able to feel all of it.

i had such an out of body experience the other day. i was experiencing past, present, and future with him, all at the same time. i felt everything. and nothing. all at the same time.

i think it’s important to honor where you’re heading. it’s important to respect where you’ve been. it’s important to be present where you are now.

i started watching the movie arrival a couple days ago and just finished today. and the whole plot is about this woman who experiences time differently than the rest of us because of the aliens and it’s so devastating and enlightening.

and i guess i just spent yesterday trying to piece everything together. and at the end of this film, it kind of touched on that feeling, and i just felt a sigh of relief. everything will happen as it’s supposed too. and i am lucky, because someone came into my life years ago, who still, deepens my soul, broadens my horizons, and gives me refreshing perspective shifts. It may be sad because i don’t get to experience him as much as i’d like. but that’s just the way the universe works. it’s important to be grateful for what i had, what i got to experience, it’s human to be jealous of those, whose now turn it is. but even in my jealously, it’s an honest emotion to feel, and after all this time, it just means that i still care...and that is also so beautiful.

it’s important to remember that memories, good and bad, do not make up the reality of now. and that a person can restart and refresh whenever they so choose. and in that refresh, is where a person can truly grow. And I’ve been growing exponentially. And this is yet another cornerstone in my spiritual journey to becoming closer to being authentically me. And instead of ignoring, or letting his ornament on my shelf get dusty and ignored. It’s nice to finally polish it, place it where everyone can see, because after all, it’s all a part of me. he’s a part of me.

Even though it’s tough, it feels great being able to begin breaking the vicious cycles that bind us. Being able to open a door feels amazing, when it’s right. And I see before myself so many choices. Scary, familiar, comforting, raw, vulnerable. So many options, no choice is the “right” one, no choice is the “wrong” one.

I wish I could slow down time. How can you slow down time? A memory, laughing, a shared kiss... And here lies the paradox, our time here is so short, but in this moment, I want to take forever.

“If you could see your whole life from start to finish would you change anything?”

”Maybe I’d say what I felt more often. I-I dont know... You know, I’ve had my head tilted up at the stars for as long as I can remember. You know what surprised me most? It wasn’t meeting them. It was meeting you.”

-Arrival

In October I feel like I awaked something deep within myself. And that has brought me so much happiness. And over the past few days I think I’ve awaked another big part of myself, and that has brought me so much understanding. I head into these next few insanely crazy busy weeks with sharp focus, clear intent, and with an unfiltered voice. I’m so proud of myself and excited to see what life offers up next. Let’s do this.

This full moon...

#full moon transformationz

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