#VW she would thrive though

[ramyeonguksu]

Put in the tags whether your FE3H OC would thrive outside of their "main" route or not!

#fe3h oc #fe3hoc #fodlansona #fire emblem three houses oc #hillevi lore #as for hillevi her main route is CF #SS would be interesting because in this route (for canon compliance reasons) she'll say that edelgard's methods are too extreme #even if she agrees with the reasoning behind them #AM would definitely not be that good for her #because Hillevi has a lot of expectations on what kind of nation Faerghus would be #but the more she learns about it the more she's like... disappointed? unhappy? #especially with how faerghus' culture chivalry and crest advantages affecting her peers and classmates #also the whole thing with Faerghus being too connected with the church wouldnt sit too well with her #VW she would thrive though #claude is there to teach her about almyran stuff a lot once she learns about his heritage #and also claude does stand up against rhea at some point verbally

[wearethewitches]

i will definitely take you up on that offer! although dont get too distracted, masters and education is more important so stay on track. famdoms will be here when you’re done. now this isnt really a prompt, more to ask for your opinion. IF in some bg3 universe that was normal, how would ayling and isobel be as parents? (assuming through magic and or intervention of sêlune via moon fertility or something…) how do they react? to any and all their children or Valeria- reactions, parenting styles. you’ve given me brain worms Isobel is my fav

oooooh I have been thinking on this a lot (and thank-you! i have procrastinated by gutting my room instead and playing act 1 of bg3 with my new durge bard 😭).

so, your q: what would aylin & isobel be like as parents in a canon-like(?) universe?

i think first and foremost, they'd plan it out, with isobel being the one to have their children. in a more kind of classic scenario, i'd see isobel being hesitant to bring up the subject of children, and aylin quietly being the same but also settled into the idea of Not Having Children At All, then isobel bringing it up eventually and aylin seeing right through her in an instant; all for it, the both of them. then, they'd get selune's blessing, etc., and voila:

moon baby.

the vibe is very much VW road trip, because they're still actively doing good in the selunite community, and i have these images in my head of a silver-haired toddler, arms akimbo, riding about in a sling. aylin is showing them off constantly, and isobel is very pissed off that someone is attacking her while she's on a walk with her child.

i'd think that as time went by, there would be a veritable swarm of children, and no, isobel never gets tired of it. aylin is ecstatic. selune likes to visit them all and give them honeyed treats and like,, those sweet almond pastries. and occasionally a lemon, or something sour, just to keep them on their toes.

in a less classic scenario (i.e. "we tried to get pregnant and it turned out that aylin is the one having the kid, here, rather than isobel like planned"), i think they're more cautious? the difference here is that aylin can't be the big protector, not as far as she's used to, to there's a bit of role swap going on. their kids, plural, would have significant age-gaps.

(yeah there's no way i am not imagining isobel being gifted an elongated lifespan, somehow. no fucking way.)

hmmmmm...... parenting style-wise, they're very openminded, but i think they'd treat their kids like those no-socials celebrities do it, where their children are not blatant about their heritage, though unfortunately dnd rules state that aasimar (descendents or otherwise) are pretty much identifiable on sight, so i don't know how effective that would be.

either way, they'd really love their kids - though i think aylin misjudges what's appropriate sometimes. isobel hasn't had children before so she's equally in the dark, but aylin can be wildly right and wildly wrong in the kind of way that is "you cannot have hot things until you can speak full sentences" and "why wouldn't i teach my baby how to cast an upcasted Moonbeam spell, it should be innate anyway". but for some reason, she draws the line at giving them weapons, though not a specific some reason, aylin just has the page -> squire -> knight pipeline imprinted into her brain, and only one of those gets a sword full-time.

tfw isobel watches her babies bathe each other in magical moonlight and gets a creeping sense of dread, because one day - one day - she knows her children are going to have temper tantrum that could potentially level the house, and it's all because aylin thought it appropriate for their divine children to learn magic.

(i mean. it is? but also, they're children, who grow up being loved and adored and treated well, and those kinds of kids thrive. it's really not all that surprising they'd be brilliant at anything they chose to be.)

i had so much fun writing this, though i think i'll keep it at that for this ask. there were so many thoughts i had about Valeria specifically, but that's coming in the next chapter or so of (selune, thou).

genuinely loved this ask, 10/10 would do again.

#isobel thorm #aylin #dame aylin #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #babies #children #headcanons #bg3 headcanons #fic #asks #asks from the void

[dmclemblems]

Tbh I think of GW's ending as some "Pro-Agarthan ending" (half jokingly lol). Since it's the only route with Tales still in power, I headcanon him sitting in Shambala, saying: "Hm, good. This Seiros beast is finally dead. And there's more chaos in Fodlan, too. How fortunate. Who is this Claude von Riegan guy? We didn't have to put that much effort into the Flame Emperor if we knew it could have been that easy! Anyway, let us use our Western Church connections... [1]

[2] ... and try to hijack the weakened kingdom!" It's quite fitting that GW's ending cutscene is the only one in which Shez is using Arval's power and is still seen in their "awakened"-Design when they talk to Claude afterwards. (Does Cornelia even die in GW? lol It's mentioned in SB, but I don't remember it in GW.) It's kinda funny to think about lol

I agree that it's worth the mention of Shez using Arval's power at the end of GW! It's ironic too because VW ends with TWS basically being eliminated, yet in GW everything is the complete opposite. TWS is still thriving just fine, Rhea is gone, the Kingdom was weakened, the Alliance and Empire will almost definitely be at war again post battle with Rhea, and for all we know they could be planning to revive Nemesis in this timeline too. If that happened then Edelgard would side with zombie Nemesis because he's uwu Her Hero!, and thus effectively siding with TWS again, so... Thales pretty much wins everything lol.

Fodlan is a mess post GW that's just waiting to become even more of a mess. I can't possibly imagine Thales not taking advantage of it. I also don't think if TWS attacked that the three territories would team up by any means, so it'd just be more drama between the three. Again, Edelgard is pretty much just pro Nemesis so she'd probably side with him, Dimitri isn't gonna give a fuck what happens to the Empire or Alliance at that point when he has to help fix the Kingdom and make sure they are okay first, and Claude might be trying to enlist the Kingdom army to help him, which... they wouldn't, because they barely have enough people for themselves as it is, and Claude would also be back at war with the Empire.

Tbh I almost would want TWS to get involved just so Claude can realize He Fucked Up Bad. In SS and VW, they couldn't beat TWS without Rhea. The reason she died in those routes was because she personally got involved to help stop them. I really doubt anyone in Hopes' timeline has the power to stop anything Thales can do, much less after the events of GW. The only reason I don't want them to attack is because the Kingdom has Suffered Enough ™.

Really though I do think GW is kind of a... TWS wins route because Claude really screwed Fodlan over. I can’t imagine a truly good and happy ending in this route for Fodlan overall.

#DCE Ask

[butwhatifidothis]

Can't STAND these bitches in the fandom whining about "Wah, Rhea didn't wanna let go of power, she endangered the students by never revealing the truth of anything to them" and then turn around and fuckin' GUSH about how ~brave~ and ~daring~ Edelgard is for ~standing up against Rhea~ by doing THE EXACT. SAME. SHIT.

Edelgard never told her allies about TWS and thus they were ill-prepared for them when the post-game war came about. You can tell that no one was prepared for the war because so fuckin' many endings Byleth has in CF has it say that their marriage with the person they get with was immediately followed by the war against TWS. The other characters were literally never told once about their existence and Edelgard expected everyone to throw themselves into this war she never told them would happen, after already finishing a war she'd already forced on them. Run it back guys! Edelgard's War That She Makes Everyone Go Through Without Their Prior Knowledge Or Consent Part 2: Electric Boogaloo!

Edelgard stripped every noble that stood against her of almost any power they had and only nobles that at that moment stood against her got that treatment. Counts Bergliez and Hevring were equally involved in the Insurrection of the Seven - that thing that revealed Vestra, Varley, and Aegir as "corrupt" in Edelgard and Hubert's eyes - but since they choose at that moment to stand by Edelgard they're suddenly not corrupt anymore - they "earned forgiveness". As long as they never go against Edelgard - i.e., threaten her hold on power - then they are cured of their supposed corruptness. How convenient for Edelgard, that that's how that works! Suddenly Bergliez and Hevring are totally good guys and all it took was them bending the knee to her, how lovely. Also, see Acheron.

Everyone expects Rhea to just fuckin' spill the beans of everything right away as if that exact thing didn't fuckin' lead to the near extinction of her race. As if humans knowing everything the Nabateans know didn't almost lead to the permanent ruination of all of Fodlan. And then they pull excuse after excuse after excuse out of their asses for why Edelgard was so much better for all the shitty things she did. They pin all the blame on Rhea for Edelgard's actions, because I guess Edelgard isn't a grown ass woman who's capable of making her own independent decisions. She can never be blamed for her actions, no, someone else is always at fault, but Rhea can and should be completely and solely responsible for the decisions she makes.

Nothing can influence her decisions. No outside force made her think her actions, morally questionable they can be, are the best course. Nah chief, it's her being just fuckin' evil that was the reason she did what she did. Rhea's bad for secrets, but not Edelgard! Even though her secrets involved hiding the existence of two incoming wars that she was planning on spearheading- that's fine! Rhea is bad for wanting to hand the reigns over to someone specifically, but Edelgard wanting a successor worthy of her bloody throne is something to be admired. Just look over the fact that this person almost certainly cannot be someone who came from the people, and that it's almost definitely someone deemed worthy by Edelgard, from the elite social circles, with connections to Edelgard and/or other powerful people, with the best tutors and the perfect environment, and an already surefire shot at success already. See, Rhea's means were more morally questionable, so that means Edelgard is squeaky clean!

Who cares that there is literally no fuckin' way the weak aren't gonna be fuckin' trampled under the boots of the stron- oopsy daisy, I meant "meritable". Who cares that the literal one person in BE that could even possibly be considered someone who defies this is someone who 1) admits herself that she had to "pull some noble strings" to have a chance at paying the fees - oh, yeah, because you know who thrives under a meritocracy? Bitches with no money, for sure!! - and 2) is the only BE to not be appointed general post ts. Who cares that the weak have gotten persecuted and exiled under Edelgard's reign if they believed in the wrong faith, and who cares if any faithful in Edelgard's Fodlan have to cope with the loss of a foundational support system of theirs - just be strong! Just be good! It's just that easy amiright guys

And like... look, I honestly wouldn't care about people raggin' Rhea so hard about what she's done if it existed in a vacuum. She's done some questionable shit! Shit that could very easily warrant disdain! But it's when it's coupled with the fact that I know these people will go on to praise Edelgard and love her despite her doing equally morally questionable actions that peeves me off so much. Edelgard deadass started a war that lasted five years! She starved her citizens to have more food for her men! Men of whom some of which are forced to be there! She uses meat shields in AM and VW just like Rhea does in CF! She lets her citizens be turned into Demonic Beasts for her to use as war assets! She hides shit that people oughta know just like Rhea does!

But people wanna ignore that, just like they ignore Rhea just having the Church fuckin' off away from Adrestia 120 years before the game even starts, and how Faerghus definitely has a unique view on religion that doesn't align that perfectly with the Seiros faith, and how the Eastern Church might as well don't real for all the power it has, and how it's Rhea and the Church that is dealing with all of the issues in the game and not, oh, I dunno, the nations the problems are set in (with the only possible reasonable exception being Faerghus, because of Edelgard's allies) - fuck all that I guess!

Rhea's power hungry and Edelgard "just NeEdS all that power guys!!" and Rhea's bad for holding secrets and Edelgard is FoRcEd to keep the literal cause of all of Fodlan's problems hidden from literally almost everyone and Rhea should be held solely accountable for every single one of her actions and Edelgard shouldn't because others MaDe hEr Do iT

#anti edelgard #anti-edelgard #edelgard critical #just to be safe #oh to be a Claude *and* Rhea fan #where I have to deal with Rhea hate because ClAuDe AlWaYs HaTeS RhEa #You fools! Clowns!! Absolute fuckin' bonobo apes!! Stop forcing Claude and Edelgard to like each other #and develop the INFINITELY more interesting potential kinship of Claude and Rhea!! #might just try a hand at it myself at this point lmao #all that shit in the tags is what prompted the rant btw lmao for context

[randomnameless]

Re-about the unused content in FE16 : it had potential to develop more world-building for Fodlan, and especially the Alliance, but then there’s something bothering me

When Claude reveals his plan in VW, he goes : 

Relations between the Alliance and Almyra is a matter we'll tackle in the future. Still, I want to take this opportunity to make one thing clear to all of you.  After we defeat the Empire, I intend to tear down the walls that seperate Fódlan from the outside world. I want to let people and goods come and go freely, and in doing so, eradicate prejudices about the outside world.

If the trading post mechanic wasn’t cut, we would already have some sort of international commerce in Fodlan?

In the beta version where trading post was a thing, Almyra already exports a lot of goods since the “throttle on trade was loosened” when the former King took the throne. Margrave Edmund’s territory trades with “far-off territories” to the point where their business relationships are said to be thriving.

So, if Edmund tries with foreigners and, I suppose, Almyra has trade route across the Alliance (Goneril’s the point of entry in Fodlan? or they made some sort of detour?), Leicester’s the most “open” state in Fodlan.

Meaning those famed “walls” separating Fodlan from the rest of the world were already full of holes, especially in the Alliance. Are we suppose to understand Claude wanted to accelerate the process?

Lorenz adding that opening the borders would “contradicts Seiros tenets” would have felt flatter on its face than it already does, if the Church of Seiros’s HQ had a trading post with every country in the world, then I suppose international trade doesn’t contradict the Church’s creed. 

I supposed the so-called tenets Lorenz’s talking about is what his dad’s been preaching, but we know count gloucester’s pov on religion is pretty flimsy, so maybe he spinned it to his advantage “don’t trade with those foreigners buy my gloucester sheep 100% Fodlan sourced - foreigners bad, gloucester sheep good” in some sort of pseudo nationalist rhetoric to promote his goods and his position in the alliance as opposed to the Riegans who are trading with other states and are way more influential than him?

About Almyra, Lorenz has an important tidbit :

Lorenz: Don't change the subject, Claude. To the people of the Alliance, the Almyrans are-

Claude: It's true that there's a history of hostility, but why should that mean we're doomed to remain hostile forever? The Almyrans aren't monsters. Just look at Cyril! Does he look like a monster to you?

If one went through Hilda’s paralogue, the “history of hostility” is still being written during the pre-ts. I’d have loved for Hilda to get that line though (she wondered afterwards how Nader managed to make it past Holst).

Maybe this “history” Claude’s talking about is some leftover from the unused flavor text in the trading post, regarding Almyra? If they reopened trade during the “former King’s rule” relationships between Fodlan and Almyra were already thawing. So what does it mean, the official Almyrian policy is to trade with Fodlan, but random almyrians still think the fodlanese are losers/cowards? And they have a faction of randoms who enjoy to raid the border every week using war orphans* as foot soldiers?

Which makes me think, if the unused content had been kept, maybe we would have had a very different VW route, maybe centered on Fodlan’s neighbours or its relationships with the other states... :’(

* war orphans means there is a war, but who are they warring against? Fodlan? Internal factions warring?

#FE16 #why cut the lore content IS?? #we could have had it all #i mean #Claude's just really tan #he knows an Almyrian general #he has a special almyrian class #his clothes are alymyra inspired #but he's just tan #it's still pretty interesting though #the trading post was in Garreg Mach but I guess to get those goods they must have been brought by land routes #so the three countries traded with foreign states #or maybe they just had a giant rewarp post at the border immediately transporting merchants to the monastery idk #Did Edmund trade with Sreng or even beyond? maybe Marianne would have been sent there as an emissary ? #Count Gloucester no :'( #honestly i wonder what's going on with Almyra #Claude's grandpa wanted to trade #but during Claude's dad reign we still have some sort of trade but also Sunday raids? #Or were the Sunday raids common during his grandpa's rule? #is there some sort of division in Almyra with some wanting peace and trade and others wanting to raid? #for fun? #idk

[faroreswinds]

3H DLC Book 4: Romance of the World’s Perdition

With the new update, there is some new stuff to dig in here that I very much want to look over. You can find the books here: https://imgur.com/a/IbluWTg

Since there are a lot of them, I’m just going to split them up into different posts and take my time shifting through them. 

Summary- Contents

This document is very interesting. First, though, let’s start with the definition of “perdition”, which is

a state of eternal punishment and damnation into which a sinful and unpenitent person passes after death.

The document starts by stating the land of Thinis is where the old gods live, but a False god awoken there. It had a looming, hetermorphic vessel (implying a form that can change shape) that was resurrected to sink the world into the ocean. The God will bring about the extinction of the “children of men”, and the salvation to all beasts of the land, sky, and sea. This god promised retribution to all the children of men who had spilled too much blood.

The document goes on to state that the God had to be killed, so the children of men erected pillars of light upon the land. Thinis, Malum, Septen, and Llium were utterly destroyed, and vanished forever, but the God remained. And soon, a flood called Despair would soon ravish the world.

The children of men fled to the underground, out of the sun, out of the God’s sight, and safe from Despair. They then swore revenge on their tormentor, False God, and the beasts that ruled the land and the surface world.

Legitimacy of Document

There is a lot to unpack with this particular document. It seems to tell the origins of the Slithers and their point of view of their war against Sothis. Firstly, I want to note some particularly interesting things: 

Thinis, Malum, Septhen, and Llium seem to be the names of continents, or at least other lands. Thinis may be referring to Foldan, which is what the Slithers may have referred to it as. Although, the document states it was “gone forever”, it’s likely Sothis brought it back. 

They seem to have worshiped other gods, referring to the “old gods” as living in Thinis. 

The False God is likely Sothis, as described has having a looming, hetermorphic vessel

I do not believe vessel means a ship here, but rather the body Sothis inhabits. It would make sense, as she has both a “real” form (looming, AKA large) and her human-like form.

She was apparently “resurrected”, but the term “resurrect” doesn’t necessarily mean she died, but rather to revive something, to bring something back with a new vigor, etc. 

She came back to apparently sink the world into the ocean, to kill all the “children of men”.

Children of men is no doubtfully what the Slithers called themselves, seeing themselves as the true humans

She was coming to kill the humans because they spilled too much blood (killed too many people), and by bringing the extinction of the humans, she would bring salvation to all the beasts of the land, sky, and sea.

Beasts is an interesting term to use. The Slithers of modern Foldan (who seem to imply that they have been living for a long time since they recognize what a Nabatean looks like) use the term beasts towards Nabateans and surface humans. So, it is possible that by killing the “bad humans”, the good humans could thrive and the Nabateans would be safe. Or, beasts could simply the Nabateans and the term was later applied to any humans who came to live on the surface. 

The “pillars of light” are most likely the “javelins of light” (aka nukes), which the humans tried to use to kill Sothis. But this clearly failed, and instead blew several lands off the map. 

The flood Sothis planned to send was called Despair (by the Slithers) and was going to come kill them, so they fled underground, out of sight of the God, of the sun, and safe from Despair. 

In anger, these humans swore revenge on Sothis (whom they call their tormentor), the Nabateans, and on the surface world.

There is... a lot here to consider. I’m not even sure where to begin. Some of this information is new, and some of it is in direct contradiction with what we learned from Rhea.

Let’s start with the basics: this document is from the point of view of the Slithers. This is basically a retelling of what we learned from Rhea, just from the other side. That Sothis and the Slithers went to war so many eons ago. 

I... question the legitimacy of this document. It’s odd for many reasons. 

If the Slithers are such an ancient society, why is there a document here in the Abyss transcribing an account of the past that is legible and not noted to be old (as other documents are?).

Granted, though, as suggested by Thales’ comment when he sees Seteth or Flayn, he is able to recognize them for what they are and comments that “he remembers their hair and ears”, so he may very well be so old that he comes from that time period. So who is to say about the document?

It lacks Seteth’s signature, so it’s not from the original library, or at least he is not the one who removed it if it was. 

If we assume it’s real, though, we still have to consider that this is a bias view of the war. Granted, so was Rhea’s telling, so technically we cannot take both at face value. However, that doesn’t mean there aren’t inconsistencies. 

There is no mention of a flood named Despair in anywhere else other than this document, not even from Rhea. However, that doesn’t mean that Sothis didn’t concluded the war with a giant flood, but there is no other record of it but here. 

This document suggests that it was Sothis who was the threat, while Rhea suggested that it was the Slithers who originally started the war. Sothis apparently intended to sink the world into the ocean and kill all the humans, and the Slithers simply attempted to defend themselves. 

Granted, they did mention that it was because they spilled too much blood, but Sothis is made to be the bad guy.

This makes sense, since this is from the point of view of the Slithers. 

However, there are some things that do line up:

The Slithers make mention of nuking the world, in an attempt to kill Sothis. This lines up with Rhea saying the world was destroyed in the war, as well as the reveal in VW that “pillars of light” made the Valley of Torment. 

However, this document suggests it was both the Slithers AND Sothis’ fault for the world being destroyed. 

They make mention of Sothis having a form that is hetermorphic. Since most people would not have known this other than Slithers, this suggests the document has some legitimacy regarding the point of view of the Slithers. 

The Slithers hid themselves underground after the war, which lines up with Rhea’s retelling/guess. 

The document agrees that the humans were killing a lot, like Rhea suggested with their “wars”. 

I honestly have a hard time believing that Sothis would kill off all humans with a giant flood without a VERY good reason. But who knows? Either way, if this document is real, it gives us a somewhat interesting perspective of the war so many years ago. But one we need to take with a grain of salt. 

If I had to hazard a guess, I would believe these to be the following events of the past (remember, this is a guess only):

Sothis came to Foldan (then called Thinis by those who lived there) and introduced technology to the humans. She created her children, and possibly went into a slumber. 

Many years past, and humans began using the tech against each other. Wars followed, and eventually Sothis woke up. Angry that her technology was being used for such destruction, she threatened a flood upon the humans in retaliation. 

It is also possible that they actually did turn their weapons upon her first, as Rhea suggested, and Sothis retaliated after.

It may also be possible that Sothis was angry that the Slithers turned their weapons on her Children. The document makes mention that she will “bring salvation to the beasts of the sky, land, and sea”, suggesting that they were in need of salvation and were perhaps in danger. 

In an attempt to stop Sothis and kill her, believing her to be a threat and a fake god, they tried to kill her using their nukes. Instead, they just destroyed a lot of the world, but failed to kill her.

In fear, realizing they were losing the war, the Slithers ran underground to escape destruction. 

Either way, this game is riddled with unreliable narrators. I find it interesting that the Slithers had “old gods” they believed in, but Sothis is a False God (and remember, Sothis herself considers herself a goddess). Were there other gods? Even modern Foldan has other religions. So, who is to say? The Slithers certainly didn’t believe Sothis to be one of them, though. 

But despite the document claiming to want to destroy all humanity, Sothis doesn’t, and humans are still around today (although a LOT may have died). 

I also find it interesting that the document is called the “Romance of the World’s Perdition”. Odd choice to call it a “romance”, when the document depicts it as a devastating event. 

If anyone has any other thoughts, I would love to hear them. But for now, I’ll conclude this short analysis. It’s a very interesting document for sure, but one to consider very carefully and not take as 100% fact. 

#Fire Emblem #3H #Fire Emblem Discussion #3H Discussion #3H DLC #3H DLC Books #My thoughts

[cececreativewriting]

Experimental Literature

1.     I have forgotten the songs silver sings, but I remember stuffing socks in my ears to escape the sounds. Evasion of submission, recoil to falsehood. But I was only 18 then. Silver songs still sounded shock.

2.     I have forgotten the systems & styles perceived, but I remember the woman in the mountains, she whistles through the woods, over valleys of outcasts, that I can always return, that I can always return again.

3.     I have forgotten the colors habituating my father’s eyes, but I remember how they’d mock me, torment in the shape of a blink.

4.     I have forgotten, one by one, each octave crack crashing my brother’s voice, but I remember how he said his 3s, perhaps we are rooted together through the ‘trees’ he spoke, perhaps that is why I cannot let go, perhaps he will be with me once again.

5.     I have forgotten that I deserve better, but I remember that I’ll never find it.

6.     I have forgotten by what virtue to find belief in an objective world, but I remember the charming fascination of being in awe of being. BEING IN AWE OF BEING, I must release universal desires universal desires, collapse and submit to subjectivity.

7.     I have forgotten all & each individual who pronounce me gratification. But I remember, if only now, physicality of false precision. Just because he touched me, and he touched me and he touched me, doesn’t mean my butterfly body must drift, I can remain, I will remain.

8.     I have forgotten details of trauma’s past, but I remember any flash I lay—knotted organs rising up & out—with a mind in love and a body in fear.

9.     I have forgotten impression imprinted by sensations of your touch, but I remember finger-tip textures when I dream.

10.  I have forgotten every word you spoke, but I remember every word you didn’t.

11.  I have forgotten your shape, but I remember your shadows.

12.  I have forgotten how to be alone, but I remember how to be lonely.

13.  I have forgotten almost every moment, every monument of memories spent with you. But I remember the last day as you called me to your curbside. I had been lying to you, and you finally knew, red with resentment, determined to torture me further (and somehow I’m still sorry).

14.  I have forgotten how it all appeared as visual perception began to run wild at the call of my feet in sand, sprinting on sprinkles so sweet. But I remember running towards waves drifting away from me, with each forward step, the waves took two more back. Stuck in a repetitive circle of time, a never-ending high school track meet, failing to cross the line until I am waist deep in sea, unaware of temperature, water still with me.

15.  I have forgotten how paranoia thrives through the half dead, but I remember shadows speaking softly as I lay back in a VW bug. In denial, I whisper forth, thinking of nothing and everything too.

16.  I have forgotten that previous displays within me, sometimes no matter how hard I try to fight forward. But I remember almost everything, if only as a distant dream, I remember every word, every silence, all the ways my vulnerability reigned over my survival. Each moon, I shake within skin, tightened teeth keep me awake as clouds spell out my name.

17.  I have forgotten how humidity tastes, but I remember like a melody, world spinning, slow like maple syrup dripping down her thighs.

18.  I have forgotten to yield to you always, submit to deceptive dreams of faceless fantasies. But I remember tracing your back under a waxing moon. I’d hover over, clutch a tight grasp though your quiver proved distaste, see smoke splinter from your tongue to parallel walls. But I always surrender in the dark, you saw forward like I saw blank.

19.  I have forgotten the route, how we ended down the 405, diverting against gravity in a moment of eternity as timelessness, universal desires fade as kindergarten knee scabs. But I remember Topanga calling distantly, as sun and sky melt together. I remember windy waves growling, sand like fruit flies and we didn’t mind mushroom mountains mashed like potatoes.

20.  I have forgotten the pulls of desire. Wasted on honey, sticks along my gums tracing teeth and it’s yummy but I remember when it wasn’t sweet, releasing consciousness to indulge, surrender, fly through emptiness and for what? My stomach would weep, flutter beyond light. Why didn’t I listen? Why do I still blame myself?

21.  I have forgotten how long I waited to waltz over water, to figure skate above seas. But I remember seeing 333 swoon in the sky.

22.  I have forgotten how to discern my perceptions, how to beguile crowds to believe I believe in their universality. But I remember admiring plum veins of dark concrete scattering spiritual silence, I couldn’t discern, I couldn’t discern.

23.  I have forgotten the enchantment of cyberspace, how particles expand and pixels pull pastry moons. But I remember digital escapism, my eyes would go dumb to the sight of sensations.

24.  I have forgotten how many times it happened. But I remember to forget, not for you or yours but for me and me exclusively.

25.  I have forgotten, or at least pretend to have forgotten, the blue prints you used to deconstruct me. Sapphic songs and sweet potato cake could reel me closer. But I remember that I am a second choice, that I am your downfall, that I am on the outside of your honeymoon dreams.

[mywinestainedheart]

My Fault. His Fault. Our Fault.

If you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them.

I came across this quote on my Instagram timeline one morning. This statement could have pertained to anything depending on the personal experience of who was reading it, but because I’m trying to swim against the waves and whitecaps of depression, anxiety and a breakup, I associated it with that. If you’ve read my previous post about being a bitter ex-girlfriend, then you know that I’m not the most understanding of people until the anger subsides. While I still have my hurt and resentment over the end of this latest relationship, I am in the process of healing, which means I am now starting to consider quotes like this one from a different point of view. My antipathy and narcissism have me thinking: “Yes! He was nothing but a shackle on my ankle anyway, so good riddance to him”. My maturity remembers that it’s not always someone else who is the dead weight. Sometimes, it’s you.

It has taken me a while, but lately I’ve been trying to force myself to accept that our relationship isn’t the miracle recovery story, but rather the cadaver he got to practice and learn from so that he can perform better in his next relationship. For a whole year, I’d been giving CPR to a corpse. This is my biggest hindrance. Every person I date is meant to be my “forever”. I get so caught up in the potential of what we could be that I’m blinded to the reality of what we are: Dead. And I’m the only one in hysterics, screaming for a medic while trying to resuscitate an already decaying situation. With this latest death, I refused to acknowledge reality. I wasn’t blinded—I knew relationship rigor mortise had long set in—I simply didn’t want to believe it. I mean, this was the first time I’d ever said I love you to someone. I’d opened myself up—I was vulnerable and let someone else in—so didn’t God owe me that miracle recovery just this once?!

When someone decides they no longer want to be with you, letting go of that person is a whole-hearted individual effort. You have to want to let go in order to move forward because, if you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them. He’d eventually stopped fighting; recognising sooner than I did that maybe we’re not the right fit for each other. He’d surreptitiously been fondling the life support plug when I wasn’t looking until he’d managed to get a firm enough grip and yanked it. I don’t know what he did with his share of our remains. As for myself, I only buried our relationship about a month ago. We’d been dead for over a year so I feel that I shouldn’t give time for the emotional ground to settle and rather erect a headstone as soon as possible, but what would it even read?

“I still don’t understand why you couldn’t love me”?

“I know it’s over, but I still imagine what our kids would look like”?

“I don’t know if I’ll ever have the strength to be your friend after this”?

“Do you really believe you gave us a fair chance”?

For now, I’m walking (staggering) away from the grave to live my life crying in random spurts, wondering if he ever thinks of me when he’s had too much to drink, or when he’s putting himself to bed at night. I miss him to hell and back, and the urge to dial his number sometimes aches like arthritis in my fingers, but I know I’d only be speaking to his ghost. So, I choose to roll over and sleep the middle of my bed, reminding myself that there’s someone else these days who sleeps on my side of his. She gets the midnight forehead kisses now, and I can’t help but hate her for it.

I’ve buried us, but a piece of me deep, deep down still calls on God for a resurrection. I realise that this is insane, but I’m a nit-picker and a hopeless romantic by design, so I often entertain thoughts about what could happen five years from now. Maybe I’ll get my shit together, maybe after he’s done trying to find whatever was missing from us in someone else, he’ll realise that we actually are the right fit. Maybe he misses me too and he’ll call, maybe we just need time, maybe we’re the exception to the principle of finality… I’m a master at breaking my own heart; can you tell?

When I find myself running away with fantasies like that, I switch focus and try to remember the things I didn’t like about him. One of the big ones was that he used to skip night showers in favour of the morning. This bothered me because you accumulate the most dirt during the day and that’s what you’re taking into your bed? Ewe. It also bothered me that he rarely brushed his teeth (morning or night) unless he was meeting someone important that day. Weirdly, his breath never smelled, but… oral hygiene? I decide that this is something that must not have been enforced on him as a child the way it was with us growing up. If he and I ever got married and started a family (and we’d have made beautiful babies, by the way), he might think me militant because night showers and teeth brushing would have been non-negotiable; the same way it was under my mother’s roof. He also didn’t enjoy working out and eating healthy. I thrived on this lifestyle. I liked my toned physique and worked hard to maintain it because I liked knowing that I had the aesthetically appealing body type that most people want but are too lazy to achieve. It made me one step ahead of average, even if my looks were nothing to brag about. Looking good physically made me feel good internally. But he felt just as good eating fast food most days of the week and drinking coke for breakfast. What would he look like in five years when I would be pushing weights to look like sixty-something-year-old Angela Bassett? I also disliked his Mr-Know-It-All personality. I couldn’t vent to him without him giving me a solution or make a general statement without him sounding off on the topic as though to prove that he knew more about it than me. That said, he also talked a lot, and I sometimes worried about this because if I ever brought him around certain family members, he might rub them the wrong way.

Fuck, and after all that I was still in love with the man.

I suppose that would mean I’m not as superficial when it comes to my partners as I used to be. I had a vision of The Perfect Guy in my head with all the strapping trims and finishings, but then this idiot steered into my life in an old, beat up VW rather than a white horse, brown haired, blue-eyed and shaggy-bearded only to toss my checklist (and my bra) out the window. I now accept that there will always be things you don’t like about someone else (I’m sure he could write an encyclopedia detailing the things he doesn’t like about me), but those things are hardly deal breakers. His less favourable qualities didn’t negate the fact that he was, and is, an amazing human being. For the first two years that we were together (although I did display bouts of jealousy) I never questioned his fealty to me. I knew, deep down, that I was the be all and end all. Not all women get to experience that in their lifetime. He spoiled me with it.

I know I let him slip through my fingers, and I beat myself up about it almost every day. I also know that he abused my trust, but it’s no longer any of my business whether he beats himself up about that anymore. We both messed up in different ways in different magnitudes, and that’s why we died. Neither of us is solely to blame but, for me, that’s what makes the grieving process so difficult. I miss him to hell and back, but he’s probably done me a favour by giving up the fight first.

Had he not, I would have stayed in a country I hate, probably moved to a town I don’t like just to be with him, found yet another unfulfilling job and trained myself to be content with just him, his family, and maybe a dog (or a cat, which I would have hated). As much as I loved and love him, I questioned and question that ideal. He was buying family plots and making plans in his head about where his kids were going to grow up. I’m wading through a battle with depression and trying to regain wasted years of career inexperience. Until I win, I’m not thinking about marriage and kids. And I’ve always wanted more for my life than a husband and a humble home. Not that I’m quite sure what more is, but it would not be found in a small industrial town where I have no friends of my own and potential in-laws that might not take too kindly to our interracial relationship. He was also earning enough to have moved out of his parents house by age 25, but every job I was finding by age 27, as a woman, was not willing to pay me anything more than just enough to cover basic essentials. Moving out on what I was making would mean moving into desolation and isolation because after rent was paid, I’d be too broke to do anything. Not to mention I’d be unable to save, barely put fuel in my car and make room for little unexpected expenses. But, to him, it was like I wasn’t trying. He turned into Mr-Know-It-All with his solutions and I became resentful because it felt like he wasn’t aiming to understand my circumstances before sounding off. This also might have been when the depression started to creep in, but neither of us knew. We just knew that I wasn’t the same person. I was angry all the time and had a negative attitude towards everything. I also became desperate and needy and I would make him the sole focus of my days because, for a long time, he was the only thing that stimulated a little bit of dopamine in my brain. I smothered him with demands for his time and affection when he really didn’t want to be rationing it to me anymore. If he hadn’t chosen to give up the fight and walk away, what would have become of me? Of us as people? What if he hadn’t let me hit rock bottom?

All considerations route back to the inkling that, together, we probably were each other’s limitations.

However, knowing that I am likely destined for something greater than what he can offer me right now doesn’t stop that little piece of me from hoping. I’ve now trained that voice to hope in silence, though. It has championed far too loudly for some of the wrongest situations in the past, so I try my best to pay it no regard with the anticipation that one day it will go mute, like it did with all the others.

I miss him to hell and back, but maybe he’s just not man enough to handle my particular brand of crazy—and I can be crazy when it’s brought out of me. Maybe he needs someone soft. Someone with a handle on her mental stability. Someone endearing with a mouth that doesn’t spit venom when she feels threatened. Maybe that girl on my side of his bed is who he deserves. She may never love him as hard, but she will love him enough. Enough to transform him into the man he so desperately wants to be that might not be the man I could love in five years.

I miss him to hell and back, but that tombstone on our grave needs to be put up. What would it read? I’m still deciding.

“Maybe we’ll find our way back as friends cause, you know, stranger things have happened.”

“I hope your kids end up with her big nose.” (What? I told you I was a bitter ex-girlfriend)

or,

“I hate you right now, only because I still love you. I’m currently searching for the path to indifference. I’m sorry for my contributions to our chaos. I pray she never hurts you like that. Don’t let your arguments with your mum get to you too often. You’re more like her than you think. Be careful with your words when you’re angry. You can be more caustic than me during those moments. Even though your stressed face might be sexy it doesn’t need to be your permanent expression, so try to take more time for yourself and the things you enjoy. I hope your sister gives you a soccer team of nieces and nephews so you can relish the spoils that come with being an uncle. You’ll make a great one. Get back to that building-a-model-car idea with your dad so you can spend more time with him, like I know you said you wanted to. I pray that your whole family stays in good health and that you find whatever it was that was missing from us in your new relationship. I hope you still think about me and, selfishly, I hope the idea of me with someone else still bothers you a little too, because being happy for you is still hard for me, but I will try harder to learn. I don’t want to move on but I know it’s what needs to happen. I told you I cleared out everything of us, but I keep a single photo of you. Maybe one day I’ll delete it. I miss you to hell and back, but the pain is ebbing slowly every day. Please take care of yourself.”

#Healing Seeking MentalHealth OneDay Hope ILovedYou

[clubofinfo]

Expert: Former Conservative Chancellor George Osborne, now editor of the London Evening Standard, calls Theresa May “dead woman walking”. Another former minister Anna Soubry says: “She is in a desperate position. It is untenable….”, while according to former Education Secretary Nicky Morgan she cannot lead us into another election and a leadership challenge is possible during the summer. While stunned Conservatives try to recover their composure, the rest of us can amuse ourselves speculating on whether it’ll be messed-up May or her nemesis the charismatic lefty Jeremy Corbyn who’ll be leading the UK to the sunny uplands of post-Brexit opportunity in three months’ time. For now, though, May seems to have soothed her furious Conservative backbenchers enough to gain breathing space. She told those who survived her reckless general election performance: “I got us into this mess, and I’m going to get us out.” How? With the help of some new-found but very dodgy friends. A deal apparently struck between May and the DUP (Democratic Unionist Party in Northern Ireland) has stoked widespread anger. With their 10 seats they might prop her up for the time being. But this will not be a formal coalition like the one agreed between David Cameron and the Liberal Democrats after the 2010 election. Instead, May has in mind a ‘confidence and supply’ arrangement in which the DUP guarantees to protect her from a ‘no confidence’ vote and to back her budget, but anything else will have to be thrashed out on a case by case basis. What we’re not told is the DUP’s price for coming to her rescue. When you consider that the DUP are a deeply unpleasant gang of Protestant fundamentalists supported by the bothersome Orange Order and with links to paramilitary groups, you can be sure that this is a pact with the Devil. Their views on climate change and LGBT are unpalatable and they vehemently oppose abortion (in Northern Ireland it is still an offence for women to procure a termination, the penalty being life imprisonment). They also don’t want the sort of ‘hard’ border with the Irish Republic that a ‘hard’ Brexit would bring. As if that wasn’t bad news enough, they oppose power-sharing with Irish Nationalists. May’s willingness to romp with them is therefore seen as a breach of the Good Friday accord which requires the UK government to show rigorous impartiality towards the different political factions in Northern Ireland. Favours to the DUP would be viewed as a grave threat to the hard-won peace. So May’s selfish ambition could have fatal consequences. In any case, could a flimsy ‘confidence and supply’ deal ever provide the stability and certainty the UK needs for its Brexit negotiations and re-emergence into the wider world? Foreign affairs nightmare We saw earlier her poor judgment when as Home Secretary she presided over soaring immigration and cuts to police and other agencies which undermined national security. We can now add her lack of common sense in anything to do with foreign affairs. The media endlessly pumps pout images of May and her husband entering and leaving their local church. She’s the daughter of an Anglican priest after all. But do her high principles extend to concern for her Christian brothers and sisters in the Holy Land abused and oppressed for decades by the illegal Israeli occupation? Hell no, she praises Israel for being “a thriving democracy, a beacon of tolerance” when it clearly is neither. Then there’s her truly offensive belief that we share “common values” with Israel which was recently branded an apartheid state by the UN. And who hurriedly declared the Shai Masot affair “closed” after Masot, employed by the Israeli embassy and probably a Mossad asset, plotted with gullible British MPs and political hangers-on to “take down” senior government figures? She even attacked the successful BDS [boycott, divestment and sanctions] campaign calling it unacceptable and warning that her government would “have no truck with those who subscribe to it”.  200 legal scholars and practising lawyers from 15 European countries promptly put her in her place by pointing out that BDS is a lawful exercise of freedom of expression and outlawing it undermines a basic human right protected by international convention. Furthermore BDS is civil society’s response to the international community’s irresponsible failure to act. Her efforts to repress it amounted to support for Israel’s violations of international law and a failure to honour the solemn pledge by states to ‘strictly respect the aims and principles of the Charter of the United Nations’. In a speech to Conservative Friends of Israel she said the British government will be marking the centenary of the Balfour Declaration later this year “with pride”. The Declaration was the infamous letter by the British foreign secretary to Lord Rothschild in 1917 that betrayed the Arabs and started a running sore in the Middle East lasting a hundred years. Britain’s failure to make amends continues to endanger the whole region and cause grief for millions. By coincidence this year also marks 50 years of brutal Israeli occupation of Palestine. To add insult to injury May has invited Israel’s Benjamin Netanyahu to join her government in whooping it up at the Balfour celebrations. Eager to fuel old hostilities, Theresa May accuses Iran of working with Hezbollah, interfering in Iraq, sending fighters to Syria to help al-Assad, and supporting the Houthis in the conflict in Yemen. At the same time Britain expects to meddle in the Middle East anytime it pleases and with whoever it wants. And despite growing opposition at home the British government recently concluded another huge arms deal with the Saudis which, according to Mrs May, is for the sake of long-term security in the Gulf. She argues that the same extremists who plot terror in the Gulf states are also targeting the streets of Europe: “Gulf security is our security.” And who can forget how she left the British public cringing in embarrassment after inviting Trump on a state visit to the UK when he’d been in office only five minutes and clearly ought to have been on probation? Let’s not even mention the photo of the pair holding hands. So what price should we pay – if any – to the DUP for keeping Theresa May in her job? As for Brexit, am I alone in wondering why we need to get bogged down for two years negotiating our freedom? What is wrong with stating our terms (which should be as near as dammit the same as existing arrangements and safeguards, minus the free movement of people) to Europe’s principal industrial, commercial, financial, research and security interests, and leaving them to argue with their bureaucrats? I doubt if VW, Audi, Mercedes, Bosch, Renault, Fiat, AEG, Peugeot-Citroen and so on wish to say goodbye to lucrative business or see the UK importing all it needs from the Far East and America. http://clubof.info/

[butwhatifidothis]

I have thought it would have been a hella better game if Sothis had been the protagonist too! Here’s how I imagine it would be like:

Byleth is the actual reincarnation of Sothis and the child-Sothis we see at the start of the game is actually her subconsciousness. Sothis/Byleth is still the emotionless mercenary with no social skills when the game starts, but she does become more and more emotional and expressive as she begins interacting with specifically Rhea, Flayn and Seteth, her old family. They do form a bond with the lords and the students though (I think the dynamic in AM as a close friend is nice) and most of Byleth’s thoughts are shown through child-Sothis’ commentary.

They can still have the “protagonist being ignorant about Fodlan” thing going on, but with a little twist that it is actually because Sothis keeps confusing the old Fodlan of her era with modern Fodlan and gets blinding headache all the time but actually that is her getting flashbacks. Because of this Jeralt took them away to Morfis (which didn’t exist in her time yet) and they only returned recently after being hired by Rodrigue who had them take care of some bandits in the Kingdom (that is why she has heard of the Tragedy but doesn’t know the details of it).

For example, when she leads the class to the Red Canyon, she mistakenly thinks it is a big, prosperous city that is supposed to be the capital of Fodlan and the lords and Rhea have to explain to her the legend of Zanado. Then she faints and gets a flashback of a beautiful city called Zanado with many humans and dragons living together in peace and unimaginably sophisticated technology located in the exact same valley. She confuses a lot of places with old Fodlan too. To her, Arianrhod is still a small fishing village, Fhirdiad is a food paradise and tourist’s attraction, Goneril is the capital of Agartha, a neighbouring belligerent nation, Enbarr is an ordinary small town where she landed when she first crashed into Fodlan, the Valley of Torment is a fertile valley with a large population focused on agriculture, the Church of Seiros is supposed to be called the Church of Sothis instead and she doesn’t know what the knights are because such concepts did not exist in her time nor Morfis, etc.

Of course, because she often gets so confused by the current Fodlan, the lords and Rhea still have a lot of explaining to do every time they have to travel somewhere like they do in the game. Claude becomes very suspicious of her too.

When she gets attacked by Solon, child-Sothis merges with Sothis, now reincarnated as Byleth, and regains her memories and power as the goddess and from now on her emotions and stuff are back. Then a cutscene showing Sothis’ memory of how and why she came to Fodlan as an alien, how she created the Nabateans and passed her knowledge to the humans in Fodlan, how Fodlan thrived as a nation of Nabateans and humans living together, how Agartha rose as a highly technologically advanced belligerent neighbouring country in the east and how Fodlan and Agartha fought in a war that devastated the entire world so much that she spent centuries healing it until it finally began prospering again and she went to sleep. In her memory we are also shown that the Nabateans all had symbols like the current crests of the 12 Elites and we are misled into thinking those with the crests are the descendants of the Nabateans. The cutscene then ends abruptly when Sothis is jolted from her sleep and the last thing she sees is a wicked man (Nemesis) raising an axe on her and a young girl’s screams that she knows it’s her daughter Seiros.

She is very confused right now because apparently the world she knew is just completely forgotten by the people, and apparently five of her children founded an empire called Adrestia with a human an entire thousand years ago. She knows they can live longer than 1000years and realises they must still be alive now and wants to find them. She also doesn’t know how she died too and is rather panicked that she will be killed again if word gets out she is Sothis. Ah, and she is very curious of the true identities of the 12 Elites as their first names were not recorded and shared the same crests with some of her children. Sothis worries if they were her children who adopted a different surname because that would mean her children fought amongst each other and may be they destroyed each other to the point that Fodlan was in such a ruin that no one remembers the old Fodlan now.

After this cutscene showing the old Fodlan under Sothis’ guidance ends, Byleth who has now remembered her life as Sothis and regained her full power, wakes to Rhea singing a lullaby very popular in old Fodlan so Sothis thinks Rhea may know something about the old Fodlan, but she is paranoid because she thinks there are parts of her memory missing and does not know for sure if Rhea is trustworthy. As a result, she doesn’t immediately tell Rhea she is Sothis and Rhea is not aware that her mother has already come back.

Rhea suggests having Sothis sit on the Holy Throne to jolt her memory and she accepts, hoping to remember what happened to her after the man with the axe showed up. However, before she can sit on the actual throne, Edelgard comes in with her soldiers and battle begins. Then the Imperial army attacks the Monastery before Sothis gets a chance to investigate and talk to Rhea/Seteth/Flayn. Sothis is completely stunned when Rhea turns into a dragon to protect the people because she finally realises Rhea is Seiros all along. She goes back immediately to protect Seiros when she is in danger but gets hit by Thales’ magic energy balls and falls down the cliff. She manages to tell Seiros she is Sothis before falling down the cliff though.

From this point, the route differs into the three non-CF routes.

SS will be a more personal story about Sothis trying to recover her memory and finding out what happened to her family. Sothis will also slowly realise Seteth and Flayn are her family and Macuil and Indech will also join them on this route to help rescue their little sister. Unfortunately, none of them can tell Sothis what exactly happened on the day of the Red Canyon Tragedy because Seiros was the only survivor and the four of them weren’t present in Zanado at the time. They can only tell Sothis that the five of them banded together with Wilhelm, a human and later Seiros’ husband and fought with Nemesis and his 12 Elites who tried to conquer the southern half of the continent and subjugate them to his tyranny. They can confirm the 12 elites were not their siblings and just magically got the crests of their family via unknown means. In the end Sothis rescues her daughter and storms Shambhala. The family are happily reunited and strive to rebuild Fodlan together after Rhea explains what she did to Sothis in her infant state.

VW will be a story about Sothis and Claude learning about what happened to old Fodlan and Agartha. Claude notices that Sothis has been reading up on the founding of the empire/church and the legends about the 12 Elites/saints too. He suggests they team up because he is also doing the same thing. Sothis tells him about the truth of her identity, her missing memory and the old Fodlan she remembers. This clarifies things up for Claude so Claude actually opens up to Sothis and begins trusting her as a friend and the rest follows canon. Rhea will explain what happened in the Tragedy and the fates of their family. Sothis and Claude take down Nemesis to avenge herself and her family. They also learn that Agartha is why Almyra and Fodlan fight all the time.

AM will still focus on Dimitri and the Kingdom but this is how I would frame the story: Sothis thinks the Kingdom nobles descended from the 12 Elites are the descendants of the Nabateans and may know something about her children and what happened to them. Sothis asks Dimitri if he has heard of the Nabateans. Dimitri doesn’t know anything but promises he will help Sothis investigate into this. Everything follows canon until Cornelia’s death, who not only taunts Dimitri about his stepmother but also mocks Byleth that she is assisting the descendants of the 12 elites who slaughtered her entire family 1000 years ago in a war against the descendants of her own children. Sothis in the end comes to term with the possibility that Dimitri’s ancestors might have killed her and her family and continues to support Dimitri as she believes he will make a good king while Edelgard is currently a terrible ruler who has caused the suffering of thousands of people.

CF, on the other hand, will be a much darker story. After Sothis wakes up to Rhea singing to her, she gets to choose between “ask Rhea” and “ask Edelgard” about the saints and the elites. If “ask Edelgard” is chosen, Edelgard will ask why and you can choose “tell Edelgard the truth”. She will lie and convince Sothis into helping her by telling her that Seiros and the four faints did a major cover-up and they were the ones who killed sothis and turned their blades against the rest of their siblings for power. The man Sothis saw in her memory was a bandit hired by the five saints to kill sothis and the other children, known as the 12 elites now, banded together to resist Seiros around a heroic mortal that is Nemesis. When they lost, Seiros hunted down the 12 elites, crafted weapons from their bones and gave their blood to her own allies. The church then lied to the people again that the 12 elites were helping her because one of the five saints didn’t want people to remember their siblings as villains forever. Her own ancestor wilhelm helped Seiros in her unjust war for power and she intends to make things right now and asks if Sothis wants to be a part of that. If Sothis refuses her offer and expresses her scepticism of Edelgard’s claims, the game will immediately end because Edelgard will kill her.

If chooses “yes” then you enter the CF route. Edelgard tells Sothis she intends to declare war on the church to take down Rhea and take back the lands occupied by the evil descendants of the people who slaughtered Sothis’ children, aka Faerghus and Leicester. Edelgard, however, tells Sothis she intends to capture Rhea so Sothis will be able to ask Rhea the same questions to prove her claim. They do not return to the Monastery for the Holy Throne ritual and the coronation scene and war declaration scene play instead. When Sothis returns to the Monastery, she is with the Imperial army intended to conquer the Monastery. Sothis confronts an infuriated Rhea, who is extremely mad about her betrayal, and asks why Rhea/Seiros sent the assassin on her and killed her siblings. Seiros quickly realises Byleth/Sothis is in fact the reincarnation of her mother, but Edelgard notices that and has Thales attack Sothis from behind to prevent Seiros from telling Sothis the truth and swaying her to their side. Sothis falls off the cliff and Seiros tries to kill Edelgard for turning her mother against her and killing her again before she retreats to the Kingdom.

Five years later, Sothis wakes up and rejoins Edelgard’s army only to find out the Empire is on the brink of collapse against the combined might of the Kingdom-Church-Alliance with only Garreg Mach, Gronder, Fort Merceus and Enbarr left in their control. Not all of the Black Eagle students are fighting on their side either - Ferdinand, Dorothea, Petra and Caspar have abandoned the Empire and are fighting for the Kingdom-Church-Alliance army while Linhardt and Bernadetta simply refused to join the war. Instead, Ladislava, Fleche, Randolph, Count Bergliez, Arundel and Jeritza have become your new units.

Sothis continues to help Edelgard in the war and they quickly reclaim the territories lost to the allied powers. As they continue to push forward, Sothis encounters Seteth and the other three saints too (Indech and Macuil joined Rhea after learning of what Edelgard did to Sothis) on the battlefield. They will try to tell Sothis the truth and you have an option between “question Edelgard’s claims and spare them” and “believe in Edelgard’s words and kill them”. If the former is chosen, the game will end immediately as Edelgard will backstab Sothis instantly if she knows Sothis has turned against her. The rest follows canon, but Seiros will try to tell Sothis the truth again on Tailtean. Sothis will be killed if she believes Seiros instead of Edelgard here too. Heartbroken and traumatised by the fact that her mother has killed all of her only remaining family members and has already tried to kill her twice and is about to come and kill her again, Seiros transforms into a dragon in Fhirdiad and sets the city to fire once the citizens have been evacuated, hoping to bring down all of her enemies including her mother with the fire in order to avenge her friends and family.

In the end, Sothis kills Seiros as canon but loses her power and immortality as a goddess because it was Seiros’ magic that kept the creststone alive, and without the protection magic on the stone it would just be an ordinary stone and couldn’t function as a heart. Sothis almost dies without a working heart but the Agarthans save her by a heart replacement surgery on her using Seiros’ heart on the condition that she will give them the Crest of Flames creststone and the sword and share her blood with them regularly. Everything else continues as canon and the route can end with a realistic dark ending (everything crashes and burns) or a fake happy ending (the one in the game).

YOOOO dude this is great! Byleth as a character is so uninteresting, at least to me, because the only actually interesting thing about them is something that was done to them, not something they did. Byleth was born without a heart and was given the heart of a long-dead Goddess to let them live - neat! Intriguing! But nothing else catches your eye like that about them. They live on as a mercenary who apparently only wanted to ever ask questions about anything ever at all once they get to the monastery. The biggest thing they’ve done is make a name for themselves for how well they fight in battle. 

Now, we pivot the idea of Sothis being the protagonist, that’s where things start getting interesting. She fell from the stars and created new life? She helped humans prosper in knowledge only to have that knowledge be used for evil? She healed all of Fodlan from the devastation caused by the war humans enacted and fell into a sleep because of it? Those are all things she does that are worth getting to know more about. Her being murdered during her rest by another greedy human and was reduced to nothing but a dormant consciousness for a thousand years being coupled with the “being given the heart of a long-dead Goddess” being what was done to her isn’t the only interesting thing about them anymore. That’s all stuff that offers so much to the player to want to delve into, especially with a character who is gradually more and more vocal about their want to learn about themselves, with thoughts and feelings about what happened to them, what happened to their family, what they did in the past they can’t remember. 

I especially like all the ways you can just get a game over in CF - in a way that reminds me of that one mission in Sacred Stones where if you beat the boss you get an insta-game over since he was your only way to progress the story lmao, except this is turnt up to 11, and instead of punishing you for being a dingus and fucking up the plot, in a way it’s trying to save you from becoming a kin-killing pawn to a tyrant.

About the only thing I might have a bit of a ehhh with is Agartha being why Almyra and Fodlan feud, just because I find them feuding due to themselves and not a third party to be more interesting to me (personally! That’s just for me lol, it’s not an inherently bad notion!), but thanks you so much for sending this!! 

#ask #anon #anti edelgard #Anti-edelgard #just to be safe #like omega safe lmao #this is so cool!!