a cut of the last scene of the play+heist, featuring the one, the only, Little Wolfgang, Virtuoso
Austin: Castille, what is your- what’s the finale? We know what the prop is. The prop is Little Wolfgang, Virtuoso. We don’t have to roll for it. So what is the final scene on the stage and, Edmund, think about what the final, the final scene in the heist is.
Ali: Right, okay.
Austin: Jack, have you- I mean you- it’s your prop, Jack, tell me about Little Wolfgang… Virtuoso.
Jack: E-eh, he’s seven.
[Sylvia laughs loudly in the background]
Austin: Mhm.
(as Little Wolfgang, Virtuoso) Hello, I am little Volfgang, I am seven.
Jack: (as Little Wolfgang, Virtuoso) [in an accented, high-pitched voice] Hello, I vould like to sing my little song now.
[Sylvia laughs once again]
Austin: Oh, Wolfgang is here!
Jack: (as Little Wolfgang, Virtuoso) Oh, hello.
Sylvia: [overlapping Jack] Oh my god!
Jack: He comes out, he bows very politely, folds his little hands together
(as Little Wolfgang, Virtuoso) I’ve been waiting in ze wings all evening.
Austin: [laughing] Oh no!
[Sylvia is losing it in the background]
Austin: Castille and Maelgwyn just on stage… question mark?
Ali: Appears so…
[Everybody laughs loudly]
Austin: (as Maelgwyn) It says here- It says here we just do a dance, we just dance.
Ali: I was thinking this, yeah. Back when I thought I was after the Edmund party scene I was like Castille and Maelgwyn are gonna have this dance at this party, but then Jack was like “okay, nobody is on stage anymore” and I was like okay, great… yes, and.
Austin: Yes, and. I had the same thought, but now we’re gonna do it anyway, Ali.
[Ali laughs loudly in response]
Janine: It’s a waltz of the spies, a waltz of the spies when the two spies come out and waltz.
Austin: It’s a waltz of the spies, yeah.
(as Maelgwyn) I know exactly who you are… Castille
Using your real name on stage, loudly for everyone to hear.
Ali: Yeah, fucking… cop son. [laughs]
Austin: (as Maelgwyn) No, it’s what it says, it says in the play that I’m supposed to address you with your real name to, like, communicate... that we do really know each other. For real.
Ali: [overlapping] Right, yeah, we could- yeah. We could, yeah. Uhm… [laughs]
Austin: (as Maelgwyn) And I feel like I do.
Ali: (as Castille) I know you too, and you’ve led me to know myself. [laughs quietly]
Austin: Removes the mask, removes the mask, uhm, very theatrically, and holds it in front of the audience- like, between- in front of our faces, covering our faces so that we can stage-kiss. But did they really? No one could see. [Ali laughs] No one could see behind the mask.
Ali: Little virtuoso is reaching the crescendo of the song as their lips touch. [laughs loudly]
Austin: [overlapping] Aha, aha. That’s a success.
Ali: [through laughter] I don’t know what the plot of this play is anymore.
Austin: [overlapping] No one does.
Ali: I don’t know what the challenge of the kissing on stage is supposed to be.
Janine: It’s a vibes-based play.
Austin: [overlapping] It’s the vibes, a vibe-based play… Two people can come to know each other for real. Edmund, how are you saving Violet? Is it with the collapsible ladder?
Jack: [through laughter] God... What if we were both criminals on stage and Little Wolfgang was there and we kissed.
[various people laughing in the background]
Sylvia: Oh my god.
Ali: What if!
Austin: Truly.
Jack: Okay...
Sylvia: I’m picturing Little Wolfgang singing one of the songs they play at the bar in Twin Peaks.
Austin: Aha, oh my gooood.
Jack: I think, okay, I mean the thing is, I think Little Wolfgang, sorry, Little Volfgang.
Austin: [overlapping] Little Volfgang.
Jack: Little Volfgang is a funny little guy and he’s been waiting all evening, but he’s fucking killing it.
Austin: [overlapping] Oh, he has to be.
Jack: The song has to be- like he’s legitimately great, people in the audience are like, there’s tears in their eyes. Little Wolfgang is singing a song about how, you know, everybody is put on this earth for a limited time, but during that time they have the potential to figure out who they are and work wonders with those they love. And it’s like, the maturity here, Little Wolfgang! It’s really impressive.
Austin: Hey, is Little Wolfgang part of the crew? Or did you hire Little Wolfgang here as a locally-sourced Wolfgang
[Ali and Jack laugh]
Jack: Uh…nobody’s quite sure.
Art: [overlapping Jack] Every town in Hieron has a Little Wolfgang
Austin: Nobody’s sure, yeah… I already crossed out the collapsible ladder, Edmund, you could just use that to get the dub.
Jack: Yeah… and Little Wolfgang’s here though, that’s the real- [laughs] that’s the bit that’s a real puzzler.
Sylvia: Who do you think’s helping you collapse the ladder?
Jack: I mean, alright, okay, here we are: the chase is happening through the theater, Little Wolfgang’s music is playing in the background, Little Wolfgang’s in this scene as he’s singing.
Sylvia: [through laughter] Oh my god! That’s Little Wolfgang’s music!
[everyone laughs]
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