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ax-y10 · 10 months

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hiii!!! do you think you could do a young wilbur soot x gn! reader where they’re 16/17 and the reader gets her drivers license finally but you and wilbur have been broken up for a year so you drive past his house? or base it off of olivia rodrigos drivers license song because i’m totally not going through that in my life rn 😅

I Know (We Weren't Perfect)

I hope you feel better 💕

In which- You've been broken up for a year, but you can't help but go back and find out the truth.

A/N: lol where I live, we don't get our licenses till we're 18 or smth like that. Imma try my hardest cause I haven't listened to Olivia Rodrigo's music in ages and I don't have my license so... Also, I'm so sorry this took so long. I have my motivation back now. I'm also really shit at endings and I am on the verge of genuinely crying so I had to try and make the ending happy for me, I'm sorry. I did try my hardest, but I don't want to cry.

Chapter info: bittersweet, poor Olivia Rodrigo recall, sad reader, sad everyone ig, driving, reminiscing, swearing, loud music, somewhat alright ending (I didn't cry WOOHOO)

Pronouns: None (You/Yours)

Based off of this song:

Masterlist:

---

You had always talked about this moment with him. You were both so excited for this moment. You had both talked about this since you were children, and how excited you both were.

But it didn't quite work out in your favours.

He had recently broken up with you. You weren't sure why. But it left you in shambles, your head screaming for an explanation. You genuinely loved him. So fucking much.

People you wish didn't find out, found out. And immediately spread rumours about why he broke up with you. He found another person who made him feel better, he didn't love you anymore, he hated you, he thought you were too much to deal with. You couldn't believe anything they were saying. You didn't believe anything. What blonde girl? Who is the blonde girl? Who are they talking about? What are they talking about?

You knew it wasn't the healthiest coping mechanism, and you knew it was hurting you more than helping, but you just couldn't help it. Driving through the suburbs was a struggle. Your mind kept drifting off and convincing you that you were driving home to him.

You didn't even know if he lived in the same city as you even more.

You still had his phone number, and you got confirmation from Tommy that his phone number was still the same. Time and time again, you tried your very hardest to contact him and ask about what happened, but you couldn't bring yourself to press the 'send' button.

Now, you finally have your drivers license, and oh my god, did it hurt. The minute you found out, you cried in happiness. "I HAVE MY DRIVERS LICENSE" you yelled over the phone to your friend. But little did they know, you curled up under the blankets each night and sobbed. Why was he gone? Why is he suddenly out of your life?

Is he alright? Does he still love me? Does he still know who I am? Does he think about me like I think about him?

These thoughts plagued your mind each night.

You can't even dare to drive past the coffee shop you visited every week, along the road next to the beach, near any of your mutual friends' houses, past your schools.

My goodness, you still love him, it hurts.

And no one understands.

Where is he now?

How is he?

Contacting Phil, your "father figure", your comfort now, you ask how Wilbur is, how he's doing, how he's holding up. If he still thinks of you.

And the answer you got back was certainly mixed.

The message read: (Don't worry, sweet. He is totally alright, he's doing well. I haven't heard anything different from him from when you both were together. And of course, he definitely still thinks of you. Would you like me to come over?)

And you replied: (Yes. Yes. Please. Come over.)

And now here Phil was. On your sofa, next to you, holding you close, letting you cry.

And the message entered your head again. And it all made sense.

Phil hasn't heard anything different. Wilbur used to ramble on and on and on about you to Phil. and nothing has changed. So of course he has to still talk about you. And he still thinks about you. So he is affected by it, but he may also be too scared to reach out to you.

"Phil" You said with a shaky voice.

"What's wrong, sweet?" He replied soothingly, almost entirely like Wilbur. He's learnt how to talk to you like a daughter, instead of a friend.

"Your message. You said you don't hear anything different, and he still thinks of me? But he used to ramble on about me all the time? So does he still do that?" You frantically asked.

He laughed a little, bringing down your hopes, and then he continued.

"Y/n. Of course he still thinks about you. Of course he still rambles about you. It's all positive I promise." And that's when you blurted your true question.

"Can you take me to him? Please? I need to see him." You pleaded, and Phil lead you out to his car, and off you went.

As soon as you got there, you raced up the front steps, and knocked slightly on the door, awaiting him. What you didn't expect was him on the phone, a can of some drink you didn't know, and a scruffed up house.

As he locked his focus on you, you noticed the weariness behind his eyes, the worry. His eyes widened, and he said goodbye to the person on the phone, and looked at you quizzically. Extending your arms sideways, like you always used to, he placed his hands on your forearms and pushed them back down to your sides.

Tears brimmed your eyes. Did he hate you? Did Phil lie? Does he not want you he-

You felt long, familiar arms wrap around you and lift you off the ground, spinning you around. You were glad he's alright and still thinks of you but you knew you couldn't just immediately go back to being attached at the hip. At the best for the moment, you could go back to being friends.

"I'm so fucking sorry. I was drunk and I didn't know what I was doing. And when I woke up at my house, I was so confused. Please forgive me, I feel so bad for leaving you. I've meant to contact you and apologise, but I couldn't. Please. I still think of you. Please?" He started with no tears, and ended in a sob.

You waved off Phil and walked in with Wilbur.

"Of course I forgive you. Why wouldn't I? I just wish one of us asked or reached out. I really want to go back to what we were, but we can stay as friends, or whatever you want, okay?" You comforted. Now you understand.

"Please. I am happy with going back to what we were. I would like to be friends first but if we can't wait, which I know for a fact is unbearable for both of us-" He laughed. What a joyous sound., "-we can go back."

And that's where the relationship began (for the second time)

---

Again, I do apologise for making it a happy ending. I didn't know which you wanted so I went with what felt fright for me. Hope you enjoyed it.

#wilbur soot #wilbur soot imagine #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur x reader #wilbur #tommyinnit #ax blabbers #Philza minecraft #\philza #angst #bittersweet #olivia rodrigo #drivers license

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isabelguerra · 1 year

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ok disclaimers: i was not personally involved in the parastucking this is mostly stuff i remember from lurking in both fandoms around 2012 and therefore the details or timelines may be inaccurate because it's 2023 and 2012 was 11 years ago what the sodding fuck

but basically im sure you know that there used to be homestuck references in paranatural (ex. GENUINE DISTRESS!), and that zack morrison did the first and last comics of paradox space as well as made some merch for hussie and also parts of [s] game over (i.e. they used to talk)

back when comments were open on pnat's site, it was clear from reading comments that there was a lot of overlap b/w hamsteak fans and paranatural fans

(And i guess earthbound fans too come to think of it, the overlap pipeline was like earthbound --> homestuck --> paranatural --> undertale coming later in 2015.)

i can confirm the above pipeline worked for me at least because that was the exact order i discovered all of these in

there were also percy jackson references here and there because i specifically remember someone saying "move over jason grace there's a new weatherboy in town" somewhere around isaac revealing he had lightning powers and there definitely was a paranatural percy jackson au but that's neither here nor theer)

so naturally if you look at really old blogs (think fyeahparanatural which mercifully is still up) you find a lot of little crossovers here and there but relevant to the purposes of ur au is that a lot of people drew characters in their god tiers (there was never like, a consensus on who got what god tier everyone seemed to have a diff take on it)

idk how many of these artists are still active in the community let alone tumblr itself but assuming the blogs aren't deactivated you could shoot them an ask or two and see if they respond

what sucks is that there used to be a paranatural tumblr that was specifically dedicated to crossovers and they for SURE had documented all homestuck crossovers but i can't remember the url and i have no guarantee that's even still up but if someone has that PLEASE GIVE US THE URL

there also might've been parastuck stuff on deviantart just going off the timeline of homestuck and paranatural being popular at the same time around like 2011-2013 but i'm not super familiar with that content if it exists (i'll look into it tho seeing as i've recently been trying to track down bobby pendragon content on deviantart for a completely diff fandom)

rn i'm just opening tabs like a madman trying to catalogue every piece of fanart or lore that i can find while woozy from loss of blood thanks 4 ur time

YES YESSSSSSSS I REMEMBER THE MORRISON PARADOX SPACE COMICS!!!!!!!!!!!!! i never played earthbound but watching everything springing from the bloated corpse of homestuck and into mainstream culture is fucking crazy. so many people dont even know. i talked with someone literally yesterday about radiation and they were like TOBY FOX WAS IN HOMESTUCK???? the look on her face when i showed her [S] Wake and megalovania turned on was priceless.

and yeah tbh its kinda sad seeing how many ‘staple’ pnat blogs just arent around anymore. thank god for fyeahparanatural keeping the blog up as an archive. i cant believe i never knew they had a homestuck tag. looking through it for the first time has some REALLY interesting results. i saw dunacht’s puppet x lil cal fanart. i saw a god tier max that turned his hat into the aspect color scheme. i saw spender in sock garters. i saw the jang as the midnight crew. i saw spender in sock garters. hey did you know what comic turns 13 this year

#paranatural #thank you for the essay im going to be thinking about it for the next several days. marinating.#okay redaction to my earlier post. are you guys ready for paranaturals 8th homestuck au #asks #pkflashfire

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energylessartist · 3 months

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Good day, I'm so sorry I'm in your ask and I don't know you personally, I'm a single mother who got a divorce after I came out as transmasc, things got really though afterwards(details in the link below), I tried to get help even on here but I got non cause I didn't want to enter people's ask and be tagged scam, but now I have to,cause it's not just about me, I have a 3 years old daughter and this was her first Christmas and new year without her dad and It wasn't close to anything she experiences when we were all together which made her so sad as i couldn't afford many things she's use to getting easily and it broke my heart seeing how sad she was, Her birthday is coming up and i wish to make it up to her, But I need money to sort that and other overwhelming situations without having to crawl back to her dad who hasn't even called to check on her since we got divorced, please help me, I've been blamed enough by family and friends for my current state. I can deal with that but I can't deal with my daughter being sad during the days that used to be one of her happiest days of the year because of my decision, that is getting to me so please help me. Feel free to check for proof on my page, But please help me I beg you, I'm desperate for my daughter's happiness.The previous story is in the link for better knowledge of my situation, And you can confirm how long I posted it by scrolling down my profile

Your need seems genuine and you have a right to help but unfortunately, I'm very much so the wrong person to ask. I have no money and semi recently got out of a shit situation myself, and I'm currently only housed due to the generosity of others. I do wish you a lot of luck and hope you do find the help you need but again I reiterate that I have nothing I can actually do to help beyond this post and I have a very small following rn so I can't reach that many ppl to help you on here, nor do I know the resources that may help you. Again, I'm sorry I'm not of much help, but I hope things go well for you and I wish you luck going forwards.

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athys-obelia · 3 years

Text

summary: no one's evil au lmfaooo but make it pt. 2

character/s: anastacius de alger obelia, claude de alger obelia, athanasia de alger obelia, jennette de alger obelia

and here's part 1 <3

oh my god okay. okay. so.

ana, claude, athy and jennette - they go on a LOT of vacations

claude complains every single time but anastacius pulls his trump card and sends athy and jettie BOTH after him

u think he's strong enough to say no after that? lmao jokes

and their vacations always go this way:

jennette: isn't this scenery just gorgeous, uncle

claude: indeed it is. and...quiet

jennette: ...too quiet

[cut to anastacius in the distance, fighting a bear as athy cheers him on]

athy + anastacius, hands down the most chaotic pairing yes i will not be taking criticism

they have tea in ana's palace everyday, just the two of them, they're so poised and picture perfect through the entire thing everyone thinks it's just the emperor giving profound advice to his heir

it's actually them deadass scheming,,, ana has no qualms discussing everything from court gossip to military tactics, both of which she's so on top of all the time

if anyone shit talks jennette or claude, this tea party is where their slow and agonizing demise is planned out to the dot

[true story - count sivan once made the fatal mistake of expressing his favour for athy as the next empress, dissing jennette by comparing her to athy sm which inevitably sparked a debate that ranked the princesses. a week after athy's sources informed her of the kindling behind this new debate, the count's sudden divorce became the talk of the town, and the man's business faced bankruptcy all of a sudden. the sivans still haven't recovered.)

athy n jennette were actually allowed to visit kiel in arlanta a few times, except it was too dark at their first arrival, postponing the meeting to the next morning

buttt then jettie can't sleep and she decides on a midnight snack run (their hotel doesn't really have the maids the palace does, but oh well. she's left the palace w lucas n athy plenty of times)

felix tags along btw, he knows this trip is important to the girls since they're leaving the palace without their Overprotective Papas™ for the first time and want some sense of independence, but... she's just so smol n he couldn't bear it if anything happens so he just shadows her

she totally knows he's there

n e ways so there's a juice place right beside their hotel which she aims for, but when jennette reaches it, it's closed

and out of nowhere, a voice addresses her - "hey you, do you come here a lot?" she nearly jumps out of her skin at the brunette, relaxing when she sees he's literally a kid around her age and not a murderer lmfaoo "me neither," he continues without waiting for her, pouting at the closed sign, before he asks for her name and whether she's new in arlanta

she confirms that yes, she's only visiting, and refuses to tell the stranger her name, still feeling strange at being addressed as 'you' for the first time (well, minus lucas, but he was like her brother and had the emotional capacity of a teaspoon, so)

he eyes her. "you're so weird. i've never seen a girl out so late before, and alone too. are you stupid?"

(felix has his sword out at this point)

she's flushing now and has no idea why she's still out here, but then this stranger kid apparently senses her mood and tells her the best ice cream store in arlanta is not too far away

(he also explains he knows someone who's starts doing weird things when she's hungry as well, and tries to defend that ice cream is actually a healthy midnight snack, "you can just take a healthy flavour like strawberry or mango, mangos are healthy,,right"💀️💀)

so jettie has travelled all the way from obelia, she loves her papa but he would have a heart attack if he found out she was ever awake this late?? yeah bc she's never getting this chance again, jennette accepts the offer

the stranger boy seems to be taking the whole "i'm not telling you my name," thing like a joke, and asks what he should call her since 'you' was getting boring

she goes with "lady j" and like a knight, the boy becomes "sir c"

(felix is on the verge of committing a crime - the princesses can only have one knight, after all)

they walk as the the boy navigates the streets in the dark, and she asks whether he's from the academy, seeing his uniform

"of course i am! you could probably tell bc i look so smart, right?"

she snorts. "yeah, that."

she also comes to know that this guy,,,well he might as well be a tourist? she's out here asking stuff like "oh where's the statue of lady alphia?" or "aren't we really close to the museum where they keep the first emperor's sword?" and he goes "lady do i look like your brochure?? but if you turn right from here there's a cool arcade and across the street from there is the best street food vendor you'll ever eat from."

well at least mans had his priorities straight 😌

"so can you take this off?" he asks, pointing towards her dress once they've neared the store

um???????? sir tf????????????

anyways jettie has been living with lucas n her dad farr too long to not take this the wrong way?? "...no?"

the boy raises an eyebrow "look, it looks like an expensive cloak but i promise i'll return it, alright? i gotta hide my uniform."

ohhhhhhh. 😳.

so she unfastens the cloak and because he's kinda just staring at it cluelessly (he can't even tie his shoelaces fight me), jennette sighs and moves the clothing over his shoulder, fastening it in place at his neck

he's literally a tomato when she looks back up and realises that yes, we are way too close rn

bc she's ana's daughter, jennette by default cannot function when she's flustered. so she kinda stumbles backwards like a fish out of water (years of princess training n etiquette? where art thou??) and 'sir c' has to grab her forearm so she doesn't bump into the pillar behind her smfh

the shopkeep is definitely suspicious of this pair that's definitely too young to be out so late, but chalks it down to his sleeplessness

they escape the store with the ice cream before the shopkeep can ask any questions, and 'sir c' escorts jennette back to her hotel. he climbs onto the roof of the building, helping her up as well

(felix wishes he had a magic stone to capture this moment, this is the first time he's seen jennette become such fast friends with someone)

she stands on the roof (it hurts her butt so she doesn't wanna sit)

"my sister would be so jealous right now," jennette murmurs, "she told me her ideal first date would be either a picnic or something like a moonlit walk. we're having like a moonlit picnic."

it's silent for a few seconds the boy speaks up, "is this a date?"

oh-

oh.

"i mean- i didn't- i don't- uh."

give her some time lmfao she's loading

"i don't really mind that," he tells her, and she thinks she might just walk off the roof in her embarrassment - who just says something like that?? "you're probably feeling really lucky right now, right?"

jennette: ✊😔

he does look pretty in the moonlight, she admits to herself, listening as he excitedly tells her about his siblings at home and how she should send an offering to the gods since they gave her the good fortune to be on a date with the most good looking one of all four of them

in turn, she tells him about how she spent her childhood away from her amazing dad and had gotten closer to him recently, about her sharp-witted uncle, her sister and friends

(the 'friends' section includes felix and he's melting)

she smiles - it's almost as if, at finding out he treasures his family just as much as she does, they've gotten a bit closer

and he tries to listen. jennette had guessed that his temperament was somewhat like her dad's - her dad didn't know how to listen, always making his opinion known before anything else, though she supposes as emperor he could do that

'sir c', on the other hand, tried his best, his blue eyes focused on her as he almost burst from the unsaid words he was holding back, trying to let her finish. the sight was an odd mix of sad and insanely adorable that she couldn't help but let him tell her about everything he couldn't hold in

sensing she could pass out from her exhaustion nearly half an hour later, and 'sir c' escorts her to her window and helps her sneak in bc "what sort of knight would i be otherwise?!"

(felix can't stop shaking the entire night)

the next morning, jennette's heart is pounding as kiel shows her, athy and felix across campus - the chance is low, but still...

"ezekiel!" comes a voice, and the four watch as a turquoise haired boy waves down the alpheus heir "are these the guests you mentioned?"

kiel introduces the trio to johannes vastia before asking, "where's cabel?"

"at the training grounds, he asked if you could bring everyone there so he could show them around there."

"... they're my guests though?"

athy is quick to befriend johannes (i mean she and his sister are practically the same person, so) and at the grounds, jennette's blood runs cold

(so does felix's)

the brunette doesn't notice her at first, arguing with johannes about something as kiel introduces him as cabel ernst

jennette is hyperventilating?? actually back up is this girl even breathing??

cabel ernst from kiel's letters? the 'loud and obnoxious cabel ernst', who gradually turned into 'my acquaintance cabel ernst', then 'hardworking, passionate cabel ernst', and finally 'my friend cabel'?

she'd actually rather admired this slow build of respect between her friend and the ernst boy, and had even expressed her interest to meet him

"this is the first daughter of his highness prince claude de alger obelia, princess athanasia-" cabel mock salutes the princess before his mouth forms an 'o' and he remembers to bow, "-and here's the emperor's only daughter, her highness princess je-"

andddd his eyes widen comically "-hey, lady, it's you?"

yeah jettie is on the brink of literal death - her entire face reddens as this...cabel, grins at her

she watches as he glances behind her, "and you're the guy who was following us - sup?"

felix flinches "...you knew...?"

cabel shrugs. "i mean you do kinda suck ass at the whole subtle thing."

"don't say it like that," jennette retorts, "felix was trying his best."

"princess 😭😭 you knew as well?"

"uhhhh no?"

athy + kiel in a corner: 👁️👄👁️

they watch as cabel's eyes widen all of a sudden and he just,,,runs away

...🐦...🐦...🐦...

yeah well anyway he comes rushing back a few minutes later, a piece of cloth in his hand "...*huff* here *huff*...you go."

athy totally flips out "jennette is that your CLOAK???!??"

"uhhhhh no?"

"um do you realise uncle would literally wage war at this."

and as if it would make everything better,

"i washed it," cabel offers with a grin

"you didn't," the vastia heir deadpans

"i mean, johan helped a little bit."

kiel smiles murderously at the pair. "johan, did you know cabel took the princess out?"

"wait, you're a PRINCESS??"

your honour they aren't very smart

so the group orders some coffee (milk for cabel smfh) to find out what happened, cabel mentions "date" and everything goes to shit again lmfao

kiel and felix scheme against poor cabel while athy n johan get over that stage pretty quick ("listen. MY sister will be living with ME after the marriage and if your friend wants to be with her he'll have to come with us to obelia." and johan's just like "fine by me ✌️😊") and start planning the wedding

cabel + jennette dip n sneak out of the academy again to get the juice they couldn't the night before bc shit is getting awkward here

on another note, our uncle cius' musical intelligence is actually very high - he can probably play more instruments than i can name tbh, but he feels most comfortable singing and i shit you not, this man has straight up an angel's voice

(didn't like singing in front of others coz he was secretly a nerd and only knew old love songs with deep lyrics, athy found out and educated him)

jennette tends to have nightmares often, most often regarding their family - she's seen her father murder her uncle for the throne, and vice versa, athy admitting her affections towards jennette were a front to get the position of crown princess, her uncle killing her to solidify athy's claim, etc - her family is her everything, so despite however many times these horrible scenes play before her, she's left sobbing uncontrollably

and on these nights, she leaves for her father's room, who holds her close and sings her to sleep

also lucas n jennette are like sibling duo# 1,,, jettie is an active lucathy shipper even though he denies it sm - like their dynamic is just peaceful walks in the gardens as she watches the plants n lucas shi talks the nobility and kiel

claude and athy have a thing for each other's sleeping on each other? idk it's weird

athy once fell asleep on the couch while reading with him, and claude moved her head onto his lap so she wouldn't be uncomfy sitting - well, she woke up to his hand absentmindedly raking through her hair and it was just so soothing that whenever she's tired and he's working or reading, she just plops her head on his lap and zzzz

and claude wondered what was up with that, so she proposed they switch roles and he felt so awkward trying to lay down in front of her lmao

obviously athy noticed and she just started reading, thinking he might be more comfortable if her attention isn't on him completely - she ended up reading out loud while playing with his collar and he just,,,passed out

also anastacius has definitely pulled jennette aside regarding the issue of his heir at some point - she had been hesitant at first before admitting she wouldn't like to be the empress at all

i know we'd all love to see empress!jettie and her sister duchess!athy ruling the court, but i really really really can't see her wanting the title?

so thus start athy's empress lessons, but holy shit her teacher is mean

like this man makes me want to bash his face in?? so he doesn't like the idea of athy becoming empress over jennette at all, all bc of both hers and claude's mothers being commoners

he has one of those long ass sticks that you use in presentation to point at stuff?? idk but basically mans has athy name every region, its lords and their vassals during their first lesson

the first time she gets one wrong, she's too shocked as the stick meets the delicate skin of her forearm to react

now the thing is, wmmap!athy would probably stand up against this bc her dad is the emperor and she's his only heir, but i imagine with anastacius' social nature he holds many parties / balls where she's probably heard claude's mom + diana slander and it wouldn't be unreasonable for her to be self conscious abt it (now she's the emperor's heir while jennette, 100% royal + noble blood, is right there which probably makes her feel even less legitimate)

so she endures it, the light marks on her arms as well as the taunts of his she's too smart to not understand - perhaps this is the price to be accepted in jennette's place?

and honestly, no one really notices until at breakfast a few weeks in, where jennette mentions how her dresses are still so modest when sleeveless dresses were more in fashion - ana is suspicious because athy is always on top of these things, societal trends and such, and claude is sus from the way she hesitates slightly in her answer, "i haven't had the time lately, i suppose"

the lesson after focuses on ettiquete since everyone knows she's good at politics and such already, but now tears of frustration are pooling in her eyes because what the hell?? this guy had made an opinion of her long before he even met her, so anything she did would be wrong in his eyes

he gives her a sinister smile, "tired, princess?"

"no," she insists, keeping her voice level. he's about to spout some other nonsense, when anastacius enters the room, taking a seat across from her

anastacius watches quietly as athy answers the teacher's questions in her "public" voice. he watches as her usually cheery disposition is replaced by something far more...dead, despite the front she puts on for him. he's soundless as she hesitates in her answers where she normally would've been louder, more confident. he stops watching in silence when his niece flinches at the sight of the stick

oh.

he interrupts her lesson, not missing the way she winces almost imperceptibly when he grabs ahold of her arm, announcing, "we're going."

he just- it's just that that was the moment he knew for sure - the sight of his niece emotionally disheveled for the first time reminds him too much of how his own brother had once been, and he'd... he'd promised he wouldn't let anyone hurt his family anymore

he ends up taking her to the port with some of his advisors to welcome some royal guests, insisting that she would learn better from experience rather than books - but the guest delegation gets so boring that he sneaks her out of the meeting n they end up in the streets

now athy has no idea where they are, but apparently her uncle does?? ana has his hand on her head as he navigates the streets of the capitol as if he comes here everyday, using magic to casually disguise the two of them

in the meantime?

felix is at the port trying to cover for them smfh, he makes up this huge story about how the great wise emperor wanted to familiarize his heir with the locals, understand her subjects, yada yada

back at the palace prince claude is currently dragging a man by his collar and only upon jennette's insistence does he throw him in prison rather than literally kill him

(jettie visits him later in prison to give the guy a piece of her mind, after felix's visit he's sporting a few noticable bruises and the prisoner is practically unrecognizable once lucas visits)

back to athy + ana, they end up stuffing themselves with some super good street food as anastacius confesses that yes, he has definitely been sneaking out of the palace ever since he was a lil kid

athy almost mentions that she, lucas n jettie sneak out too but that might give him a heart attack, so

"it's so pretty, uncle cius," she says, gesturing towards the necklace he holds up. once he's paid for it, anastacius fists the necklace, opening it to reveal the jewel pendant - now imbued with his magic and replaced with gold lettering of the word athanasia

and she realises that yes, that's what both him and her dad have called her all her life, haven't they?

"you're my heir, athanasia," he uncle tells her with a small smile, "i am proud of that."

getting teary, she tells him, "i'm really proud of you too, uncle cius," triggering a very flustered + blushy anastacius

this mans craves validation - not from the sycophantic nobility, or the obsequious concubines he'd dismissed all those years ago, but from the family he thought he'd neither have nor deserve

and just the acknowledgement is so large for athy - he wants her as his heir, not because she's his niece, but bc he trusts her to look after his hard work after him??? - yeah she's totally bawling her eyes out

anastacius magics her a handkerchief but my mans magic isn't that strong?? lmao he's used up so much by now that the 'handkerchief' turns out to be some scratchy tissues

awkward amirite

nope! athy laughs at that, offering him a sip of her drink as she magics another straw and a proper handkerchief lmfaoo

n e ways so when they return, everyone's shocked to learn that the crown heir, princess athanasia will actually be joining the official circles as anastacius' temporary aid - he doesn't wanna entrust her to anyone but family, and decides that the best way to learn is by his side

(she's so confused bc lucas doesn't normally bat an eyelash when she wears the prettiest gowns, but he deadass can't look her in the eyes when she's in her aid uniform - it's more like a suit than it is a dress)

yes lucas women in suits >>>>>

everyone is STUNNED when at dinner, claude proposes they leave on vacation??

anastacius is just not having it?? like no, this is not my brother, and he throws a grape at claude to check if it's a clone or sum (¿¿how does that work??)

anyays so he ain't no felix, ana's aim is ass and it hits jettie instead

mans nearly gets on his knees to apologise

long story short everyone preps for vacation, but by some aCCiDeNt claude n athy end up at a different destination than jettie n ana, when she suggests returning to the palace to regroup, mans deadass sulks

"so you wouldn't like to spend this time with your father, despite barely visiting my office for weeks?"

o-oh

so at their return, the nobility starts pestering everyone that the princesses aren't independent enough, yada yada idc so to quell this annoyance, to the girls' joy, they get to move into emerald palace together, while claude and ana stay in the ruby and main palaces respectively

literally emerald palace becomes such a cool place to be in since it's the residence of the only decent people in this family, the brothers spend hours going through the requests of maids who want to be transferred

it's such a busy time because of athy joining the court and jettie starting her studies as well - naturally, since she isn't becoming empress, she'll be getting the duchy claude + athy were to be given in the beginning

speaking of futures, jettie's interest in plants and cooking has definitely branched out into herbs

claude notices her tending to a small garden during his visit to athy and even gives her a few tips (he had been studying medical since he was a kid, and picked it up again when athy was born and the empire stablised somewhat)

this soon becomes a routinely thing, and he actually starts reading up on some herbs and even orders a few for her prospering garden

after a month of her learning from books, claude proposes adding a medic as one of her teachers, and turns out his hunch was right?? she's excelling at medicine and they keep it between themselves for the time being

it doesn't last long though, bc they're on a hunting trip when ana injures his leg

and !! this girl istg, she gets to cleaning and wrapping the wound without blinking an eye, as if it's the most natural thing ever, and claude is just smirking while athy and anastacius and literally everyone else: 🌟💞✨jettie✨💞🌟

literal tears coming out of anastacius' eyes "how come my daughter is smarter than me😭💅"

claude: that's not a very high standard, brother

anastacius: ✨suddenly i'm an only child✨

behold, the people in charge of running an empire everyone 👏👏👏

even though jennette is claude's (unofficial) student and athy is her uncle's heir, they both ask their dads to the debutante

yes athy does dance with lucas, anastacius sent him an invitation even though he wasn't a noble (he's an active match maker 😌) and nobody dared question the emperor's special guest

at the end of the night, kiel gives jettie a letter from arlanta - it's an invitation to the academy during holidays, from a certain brunette

when she brings up the subject, felix lets out a squeak and literally everyone goes silent 😭😭

athy n kiel are just out here DARING him to spill them beans

but anastacius takes on look at his excited lil kid and decides that yups, she's going to get everything she wants

a/n: i literally don't know how many parts this should have lmaoo but y'all made it this far!! thanks for reading i hope you liked it<3

#non dysfunctional family!au #or ana decides to stop being a shithead!au #functional family!au ??#wmmap #sbapod #who made me a princess #suddenly became a princess one day #anastacius de alger obelia #claude de alger obelia #athanasia de alger obelia #felix robane #lucas #jennette magrita #jeannette magrita #kiel alpheus #ezekiel alpheus #beware of the brothers #cabel ernst #johannes vastia

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tartagliaxx · 3 years

Note

hi lei!! whatcha doing right now? i'm trying to organize my,,,, everything at this current moment i'm a lil sad T_T i've been wanting to dye my hair for the longest time and now that i just researched it the style i want is really high maintenance and its probably better to just not go through it 💔💔 i'll mourn now then get other it anyways i got my results for my covid test and it came back negative!! as a now confirmed healthy girl i'm sending you an air kith ^3^♡ mwah

also you seem like you'd use a catalyst it seems like the lightest and maybe geo? theres not a particular reason mostly just vibes and fatui because it means fool and you are the biggest fool i know!! booboo would be jealous!! you are not just a circus but the entire concept of clownary!! i'm almost sorry but i simply just saw a chance and took it :3

i've been meaning to ask you this, is your name a pseudonym? and if it is what made you choose it? if you don't feel comfortable telling its perfectly fine don't feel forced to i'm mostly asking cause i'm thinking of walking straight into hell and joining a subtwt i don't wanna use my actual name so i have came up with a list i like but hrhjghhh i'm indecisive and can't figure out which one- 🍰

hallooo!! i’m currently eating homemade udon rn! have you eaten? i’m sorry that you havent been feeling great… i hope you find a good setting of organization! hmmm…. well you know… if you want it, you should get it. it might need a little more attention but at least you feel good and look good right? i’ve been wanting to bleach my hair too but im too pussy lololol maybe next time? and man!!!! that’s such a great news!! sending you a kith back~!!

yeah i’m a fool… i’m a fool in love 😏 i dont settle for less. why be a clown if you could be so much more? actually… why be a circus on your own if you could be a circus together? with that said, childe…. come to mama 🤩✨

lei is my real nickname but not many use it lol… i once used pseudonyms when i was younger but that post abt being less creative w your screen names is true af. hmmm… i remember using ‘mashiro’ bc of an anime character i loved and ‘yue’ bc i had a v big moon lover phase. im sure one of those names resonate w you more than the rest. gl on deciding tho! being decisive w a name is v hard… i could relate to that struggle too much 😭

#˗ˋˏ°• letters from cat island •°ˎˊ˗#˗ˋˏ°• from my darling : 🍰 •°ˎˊ˗

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Buster & Rio

Buster: Let me in, like Buster: Come on Buster: Where are you? Rio: What you chatting? Buster: I'm here, why are you not? Rio: You better be joking Rio: 'cos I ain't even in the country rn Rio: Why would you not ring ahead? Buster: Fuck's sake Buster: Where are you then? Rio: Idk what to tell you boy Rio: Paris 🥐🍷💝 Buster: Hilarious Buster: Where are you really? Rio: I'm not that shit at the jokes Rio: Really Rio: [Hotel room snap with suitable Paris view] Buster: What the fuck Rio: Always a good time for Paris, yeah? Buster: Says you Rio: like I said, you shoulda hmu before Rio: be back Monday Buster: Whatever Buster: Catch you later then Rio: Don't be like that Buster: Don't be in Paris Rio: Oh yeah, I'll just cancel and fly back now Rio: If you wanna see me I can stop off in London or can you wait the 2 days Buster: Forget it I'll go find something else to do Rio: Alright Rio: well, I'm sorry I missed you Buster: Sure whatever the fuck you're doing in Paris will be worth it Rio: No shit, why else would I be here Rio: Not gonna get a souvenir with that attitude though Buster: Save the french maid outfit, it's basic Rio: ew, you don't need to tell me Rio: what's sexy about maybe just having had your hand down the u-bend like 😷 Buster: If you were in Germany they'd be into that Rio: Thank God he ain't then Rio: no thank you Buster: Won't keep you from enjoying where you are, like Rio: Obviously Rio: though make the dinner chat more awkward if I'm having to swerve that level of filth Rio: be like talking with you 😜 Buster: Yeah well don't feel the need to keep this convo going Buster: Didn't come to chat Rio: Good job, like Rio: natural conversationalist, you Buster: Fuck off Buster: You've never complained before Rio: What you in such a mood for Rio: Sure you got plenty other connections in Dubo Buster: So have you Buster: Don't need to be jet setting Rio: Yeah but it'd be stupid not to take the chance when it's all being paid for Buster: And you wouldn't wanna be stupid, yeah? Buster: 'Cause this is such a smart move Buster: And you never lose your shit when I offer to pay for anything for anyone, like Rio: This ain't my first rodeo, don't worry, I know what I'm doing Rio: everyone knows where I am, separate rooms, never going back to his, all that jazz Rio: and that's different and unrelated Buster: Whatever you say, babe Rio: Tah for the concern, though Buster: I ain't Rio: Yeah you are Buster: You wish, Cavante Buster: Be as stupid as you want, I'm just mad that it ain't benefiting me this once Buster: Like you said, I'll get over it Rio: Sweet Rio: Don't worry, it's not weird, you'd be a pretty shit cousin if you just let me die without batting an eyelid Rio: Ma'd be radging Buster: Shut up Rio: 😂 Buster: You're not funny, I don't know how many times I've gotta say it Rio: But you say so much bullshit Buster: Trying to keep up with you, that's all Rio: Try harder next time Rio: 🛫 Buster: If you want me to come there you're gonna have to ask me nicer than that Rio: As if you would Buster: What like that cunt is the only one who can afford the flights? Come on Rio: Yeah, but you're not that cunt Rio: don't have to make flights or fly girls out to spend time with you Rio: sad, really Buster: Don't have to, nah Rio: You're really gonna come here just to fuck me? Buster: Do you want me to? Rio: Yeah Rio: I'm bored Rio: but why do you wanna, what's in it for you? Buster: I'm bored too Rio: Alright Rio: I'm not going to stop you Buster: Good 'cause I clicked confirm when you said yeah Rio: You're crazy Rio: also, you've gotta be subtle, do you think you can manage that? 😏 Rio: hardly be buzzin' I'm having other blokes over, like Rio: not his kink Buster: You know how good I am at keeping secrets Rio: Fair point Buster: Yeah Buster: I make them a lot, you just don't listen Rio: Ha, don't get carried away Buster: Bit late for that Buster: I'm throwing my shit in a bag right now Rio: just a day in the life for you, is it? 😂 Buster: Obviously Rio: when you getting here Buster: [sends flight deets] Buster: Reckon you can handle that? Rio: Whoa, you are keen 😉 Rio: make sure you give yourself time to pre-drink in the airport though Rio: catching up must be done Buster: Cheers Buster: 🍾 Rio: Seriously Rio: had so many bottles sent up I could bathe in the shit Buster: Yeah? Rio: Mhmm Rio: Hopefully that wasn't the idea 🤔 soz babe Buster: Probably Buster: But you've had a better one so Rio: 🤷 Rio: Can't deny Rio: s'cool, I used the ice buckets to their full potential Rio: everyone's happy Buster: Behave Buster: I don't need to know about how you've been making him feel Rio: Why not? Rio: Just giving you an idea of why you're coming Buster: We both know why I'm coming Buster: And there's no comparison, like Rio: Yeah, not saying it's a competition, like Buster: Don't need to hear it then, do I Rio: Got it Rio: only worth mentioning if it strokes your ego otherwise 😶 Buster: That goes without saying Buster: Nobody better Rio: Not gonna agree 'til you prove it, like Buster: Alright Rio: You spoken to Nance recently Buster: Why? Rio: Just wondering how they're getting on Rio: Never get hold of Bills these days Buster: Ask Nance yourself Rio: That's a no then Buster: What are you bringing her up for? Buster: Way to kill the mood, like Rio: Whatever, you've got a whole plane journey to get it back Rio: I can ask questions Buster: I just don't see why that'll be the question you'd choose to ask Buster: But like you said, whatever Rio: What do you want me to ask then? Rio: What's up? Buster: Nothing Buster: You know I'm bored, already said it Rio: Yeah Rio: you gotta get new friends Rio: can't get a bird or Chlo will be even more of a dick Buster: I can do what I like Buster: But I've got enough crazy in my life with her, that's true Buster: Don't need to be tied down to anyone else Rio: Yeah, obviously but girls like her are always cunty when you get a new missus, guarantee Buster: When isn't she? Buster: Only happy when I fucked her that one time and I don't even remember it Rio: Bless Rio: Wonder what's actually up with her, or she's just a natural-born cow Buster: Other than being hopelessly in love with me, I don't know Buster: Nance might have some ideas though Rio: I know, I know Rio: you don't wanna chitchat with me Rio: I've done one too many lines I'm chatting shite Buster: Say something to change my mind then, it's not that hard Buster: And you better save a few lines for me Rio: Like what? Rio: we don't talk that's not what we do Rio: just get him to get more Buster: We're talking now Buster: Ain't my fault you keep bringing him up Buster: Or my sister Rio: Yeah but that's the real shit Rio: real life Buster: So what? Buster: You want this to be real now? Buster: Fuck off Rio: Nah Rio: Ugh, forget it Buster: No Buster: Tell me Rio: I don't know Rio: My head's just fucked, nothing new Buster: How much have you had? Buster: Don't just say too much Rio: rinsed this whole bag Rio: pretty much Buster: Take it easy now until I get there, yeah? Rio: yeah Rio: sorry, just ignore me Buster: You know I can't, babe Buster: You're too fucking hot for that Rio: Idiot Rio: thanks Buster: No need to thank me Buster: I'm not there yet Rio: I can thank you properly when you get here Buster: Yeah Rio: 😣 Rio: i said forget it Rio: sound more excited yeah Buster: You know I am Buster: But I can give a shit about the state of you, can't I? Rio: You reckon I'm always one Rio: not stopped you before Buster: Shut up Rio: Truth hurts, babe Buster: Might if I heard it, but you're chatting shit Rio: You want the truth? Okay, truth is you've been fucking this state and you love it, so what does that make you Buster: Fuck you Buster: I'm just trying to make sure you're alright Rio: Ain't your job Buster: Well, he ain't doing it Rio: Definition of looked after here Rio: check the bank balance Buster: I know you ain't the smartest, but even you can check a definition on your phone, like Rio: Fuck you Rio: don't come Buster: You can't stop me Rio: Fine but I'm gonna smack you one Rio: twat Buster: No you aren't Buster: You want me there, still Rio: you reckon? Buster: I know you do Rio: so what Rio: don't mean nothing Rio: i wanna get fucked and he's not gonna cut it Buster: 'Course Rio: so fucking arrogant Buster: You love it Rio: Whatever Rio: if you're coming at me with the old catchphrases I'm off Rio: room 223, i'll let 'em know you're coming Buster: Don't Rio: You reckon they'll clock me as a working girl? Rio: Valid, here's hoping they look the other way Buster: Rio Buster: Stop it, yeah? Rio: I don't think I can Buster: Bullshit Buster: Just wait for me Rio: Fine Buster: Fine Rio: Mature Buster: I'm not 95 Buster: If you want mature get him back in Rio: Shut up Rio: He ain't that old Rio: if he was there'd be no time for you, tryna get in that will asap Buster: Behave Rio: Yeah, that's what you want Buster: With him, yeah, I do Rio: I don't sleep with them Buster: I don't wanna know Rio: Just saying Buster: Do what you want Rio: Plan to Buster: Yeah Rio: You're cute Buster: Fuck off Rio: Aww Buster: Who's immature now, like Rio: I ain't pretending otherwise Buster: Got enough pretending to do, yeah? Rio: Ha, you sure you're in a position to come for me on that one? Buster: I ain't Buster: Just saying, that's all Rio: Anything else you wanna say, McKenna? Buster: Nah Buster: Like you said, we don't talk Rio: now's your chance Rio: you already getting smacked when you get here so in for a penny, like Buster: You wish, babe Buster: You've clearly got something you want me to say though Buster: Go on Rio: Why should I if you won't Rio: play fair Buster: Why should I? Rio: Try it, you might like it Buster: You'd love it, you mean Rio: Yeah, you got it Rio: I'm OBSESSED with you Rio: 🙄 Buster: Deny it Rio: Please Buster: You can't Rio: Your pillowtalk needs are getting a bit much, babe Buster: Still not a no from you, is it? Rio: Just protecting your fragile ego, boy Buster: Bullshit Buster: You're protecting yourself Rio: You what Rio: Why do you want me to say it Buster: I'm on a flight to another country for you Buster: You can say it Rio: Alright Rio: You already know Buster: Tell me anyway Rio: I'm obsessed with you Rio: and I want you here Rio: 😶 gah Buster: I'll be there soon Buster: I wanna be Buster: It's alright Rio: it's not though, is it Rio: but you know Buster: It will be Buster: Don't worry about it Rio: How can I not? Buster: You know I'll help you forget Rio: Yeah Buster: Do you want me to take you somewhere else? Buster: I can Rio: You trying rack up your airmiles, babe? Rio: Where Buster: I don't care Buster: Wherever you want Rio: No, it doesn't matter Rio: here's as good as anywhere else Buster: It matters Buster: But we can stay Rio: why do you bother Rio: so much hassle Buster: Shut up Buster: You know that's bullshit Rio: Genuinely, though Rio: I know I'm a delight most of the time but Buster: You have your moments Rio: Dangerously close to a compliment, there Buster: Yeah, well Rio: s'alright Rio: you can say it Buster: Sometimes I can stand you Buster: You're testing it now, like but Rio: 😘😂

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Carly & Ali

Carly: last nite was good of you Carly: saying thanks cuz i read my text from last nite & it was Carly: I cudnt read it k thats facts Ali: nah, don't mention it, no bitch left behind Ali: plus, I know the cunt doing the ditching, been there, like Ali: was trying to translate but yeah, you were pretty fucked 😂 Ali: how you feeling this am? 💚 Carly: yea? hes not that bad Carly: im a slag like he said tbh Carly: feeling like i had a decent nite all things considered Carly: you? Ali: Gurl, yes he is and no you ain't! Ali: Probably Ali: Who cares if you are, he is, and the rest Ali: I dated him for a bit, so there's no shady, tryna steal your man on the sly going on, don't worry Ali: much the same, my head feels like someone took my eyes out and shoved 'em up my arse, you know? Ali: standard sunday vibes Carly: aw you're sweet but it's no diss on me Carly: like ive cheated on him a few times Carly: but he does it too you're right w that Carly: hes a good fuck when he's not too wasted tho which you kno if you got it too Carly: you're single now tho? Carly: can have him back if you want Ali: Fair play Ali: why not call it open and call it a day? Ali: Probs 'cos he likes fighting as much as he likes fucking Ali: Meh, yeah, was passable, gotta have some reason to keep him around, like Ali: Nah, going out with the girl that drove us back Ali: Remember? Dark hair, angry Carly: yea Carly: you know Carly: shit my bad Carly: she was scary is what i've got in my head Carly: idk my head is sketch cant trust it Ali: That's a fair assessment, I reckon Ali: She wouldn't hate it either so you good 😉 Carly: pretty tho Carly: call it a trade up Ali: Yeah, she's cute Ali: you need any more of the night filling in lemme know, I'll do my best Ali: it was pretty standard though, nothing too wild Carly: no faking it w her cuz shes too drunk Carly: designated driver be like Carly: last i see i was getting with his friend lowkey and he went off about it im blank from then Ali: its a fucking gay crime to ever fake it, no matter what Ali: I can get behind that one tho, not got the time or energy tbh Ali: yeah i think him and his friend then got in a scrap and then they left Ali: bros before hoes mentality hardcore, like idk, have fun jerking each other off then, if that's ur vibe boys Carly: k that sounds legit from what i caught on his socials Carly: didnt upload the circle jerk bless Carly: gay crimes must of been committed Ali: sad face Ali: coulda spat on his back Ali: protip Carly: ill let him know when he texts me later Carly: how did you kno where i live? state of me Carly: sorry to drag you this way Ali: plottwist, i'm a massive stalker with bad intentions Ali: I truly don't know, but I'll tell Lene she should be a cabbie 'cos she managed and I don't think we got any puke in her car Carly: k big lesbian crush on me yea Carly: ioher lots Carly: stealing her girl and wrecking her car in one Ali: Naturally, you cute Ali: I'll give you her number if you like, or just pass along the thanks and soz Carly: awh you're cuter Carly: probs still drunk tho Carly: giving me those kind words Carly: you handle the now ex if you love me Ali: Hahaha, he'd LOVE that Ali: ghosts of gf past Ali: Let me and I'll love you forever Carly: go for it Ali: let's see if I've still got his number Ali: this contact list is a minefield of mistakes but the real embarrassment would be getting them muddled up, fo'shame! Carly: i can give it Carly: used it more recently than you Carly: up there at my top Ali: won't be tellin' him that Ali: don't need the ego boost Ali: but tah Carly: makes it more fun to fuck him over if you praise him first Carly: but maybe thats me Ali: like a shit sandwich Ali: I get it Carly: hungry for anything but that rn Carly: [Sends the number tho] Ali: wanna come for brunch Ali: now you are newly gay Ali: that's what they do, fucking sex in the city up in dis bitch Carly: yea? weird Carly: not what i thought Carly: awh first date tho Ali: forreal, even the butch ones, don't let 'em fool you, its all fancy fucking eggs and screwdrivers by 11am Ali: you call 'em mimosas tho, gotta pretend you're being classy Carly: wtf is a screwdriver Ali: Babe! Ali: Vodka and orange juice Carly: i call it that Carly: gays and their labels Ali: save it for the rant sesh honey Ali: love you talking about how men ain't shit as well Carly: thats the ones i fuck Carly: cant be bringing no poshos to a caravan Ali: Posh boys are only good for the money anyway, I'm sure Ali: not finding any in 24 like regardless Carly: not gonna find out if they do drive by now im a lesbian wife Carly: sorry lads Ali: they had their chance Ali: unlucky boys Carly: should prob tell me your name again if im taking it Ali: Ruins the mystery a bit but alright Ali: Its Ali Ali: Ali McKenna if we're being formal Carly: k you've got the hot brothers Carly: makes sense Ali: 🤔 Ali: I think you're thinking of someone else, babe Carly: not trying to have our first fight but you coulda told me before we got hitched, bitch Carly: you're still hot tho don't be sad Ali: so you could run off with one of my brothers? i think not Ali: unless you meant Tommy 'cos he's very single but that's unlikely because he's never here Ali: stuck with me for now, hoe 😘 Carly: a slag like me could do worse Carly: has Ali: bitch, same Ali: we can compare notes, see how many regrets we got in common Carly: yea Carly: doing it Ali: Good, save it for brunch 'cos I'm coming forreal Ali: we don't have to deal with a gaggle of gossiping gays tho, bring you a maccies breakfast? Carly: k Carly: be fun Carly: you are from what i remember Ali: I like that Ali: No bullshit Ali: Imma start all interactions like be fun please or I'm out Ali: ✌ bringing the fun and the bacon babe Carly: you're not bringing your gf are you Ali: Nah, how awkward, meet the missus, honey Carly: like there's usually a lad in my trio sorry Carly: still learning this lesbian life Ali: oh, are you bi legit? Ali: she's way too jealous for threesomes, you're good Carly: nah i just know what lads want Ali: Oh gurl Ali: that's why Lene ain't coming Ali: the lecture you're avoiding Carly: idc Carly: youre my wife now bitch Ali: 💍💍 Ali: Productive morning, if I do say so myself Ali: and we're hanging, fuck with us Carly: good influence of you cuz i havent done fuck all this week Ali: Hard work being a bi icon, babe Ali: wait 'til I get you on the yoga hype Carly: wtf Carly: is that a joke Ali: nah, I've already done half an hour this morning Carly: bitch i had my fingers crossed you mistyped yogurt Carly: i love you but its a no Ali: 😂 lets be really into yogurt, not fancy stuff, like fucking froobs Carly: phallic Carly: slurping on my dick shaped yogurt Ali: exactly Ali: what do men love more than a representation of their genitals shoved in your mouth? nothing, is the answer, bar the real thing Ali: so seductive Carly: they don't like food in bed tho, but maybe thats my technique Carly: thinking you could use whatever Carly: k just gonna dump this curry out yea bear with Ali: spicy Ali: imagine the yeast infection you'd get from a fromage frais Carly: like sorry but if i can handle cum in my eye you can deal with some saag aloo boy Carly: googling those symptoms would be a laff tho Ali: ugh, now i want indian Carly: date 2, babe Ali: 😍 Ali: this is all moving so fast Ali: 'bout it Carly: thats all i kno about lesbians k Ali: Its so true Ali: Can confirm Carly: is your gf gonna be mad that im flirting with you Carly: cuz im scrappy but she's scary Ali: 😂 Ali: Probably but when I tell her you're straight she'll have to chill Ali: yeah, we're married BUT SHE'S STRAIGHT, BABE Carly: can't tell her how many girls ive fucked cuz i dont remember Carly: convenient Ali: Best keep that on the DL, yeah Ali: like your blatant gay feelings for me Carly: k Carly: been a secret before no big Ali: Awh babe, ain't nothing dirty about this Ali: I shall tell the world Carly: you're sweet Ali: Probably not if you still wanna be getting that D but you know, noblest intentions, like Carly: im over it Carly: go off Ali: when your pussy's the cure Ali: how can I be humble now? 😏 Carly: dont be Carly: proud slags who fucking love froobs Carly: its a mood Ali: that is a whole ass mood Ali: put it on a t-shirt, babe Carly: earn some bread for my table Ali: solid business plan Ali: we can't be the only ones Carly: independent women who don't need no dick Carly: anymore Ali: hell yeah! Ali: unless that dick wanna pay the bills, in which case we'll let 'em Ali: so we can get more froobs Carly: point Ali: oh no, someone put a pic of Molly Briggs vomming on Insta Ali: 1. gross 2. who hasn't been there, poor bitch Carly: sad Carly: hope she's alright Ali: I'd ask but don't really know her and her phone must already be blowing up Ali: plus she threw a netball right in my face once and I don't forget, bitch Ali: jk, I'll just report the pic 😂 Carly: they all call me a whore cba to keep track of which mollys or other bitches Ali: She is a bit of a bitch, ain't gonna sugarcoat it so probably Ali: not saying Karmas real but posted on that friggin' TallaghtSlags page so 🤷 Ali: grab a froob, darling Carly: her name makes me wanna party with her dad but thats as far as im fucking with that family Carly: or mum i dont know who picked it like Ali: Init, proper old skool ravers, obvs Ali: think I'm out of eccies, sadly Ali: last night depleted me Carly: Watch me call my son Bennie cos I got anxiety, baby Ali: Cute tho, whole medicine cabinet of babies Carly: why not im married now Ali: We'll get on that, date 3, like Carly: where you taking me? Ali: up the wheyyyyyyyyyy Ali: well, we had brunch, indian, obvs we're fat bitches Ali: get on that chinese buffet life Carly: you can get on your yoga mat tho Carly: im fucked Carly: letting myself go so soon my bad Ali: Please, you're perfect Ali: I'll have all the kids if you want Carly: blushing is what i am Carly: how many you want? Ali: how many people names are there for drugs? molly bennie mandy charlie umm Ali: and our preachy child, frank Carly: ha Carly: tina that's one Ali: Ooh, yes, a gay icon Carly: billy, bud our weak child, cosmic kelly who's gonna have to style that out Ali: oh kelly, I hope you have the personality to match or we've really fucked you over there, soz babe Carly: can't forget dimitri, lucy or mandy Carly: sweet sweet mary joy Ali: My fanny hurts just thinking about it Carly: christine and tina are obvs twins thats a relief Carly: how manys that? Ali: 13 Ali: Unlucky for some but my actual lucky number! Ali: Fated Carly: ha Carly: it's love and keeps being proven Ali: can't fight what's clearly so right Carly: true Ali: you want a milkshake Ali: i'm having one Carly: yea Carly: strawberry Ali: 'cos u so sweet 💚 Carly: awww Ali: I shall be right there, with brunch fit for a pair of proud slags Carly: k Carly: my parents arent here no need to break the news of wedded bliss Ali: Would be a weird first impression but I could rock it Ali: new fave in-law? I think so Carly: yea Carly: cant fight fate like Carly: been said Ali: forreal, catch me outside if you got something to say, lads Ali: alone time with the bae is always good tho Carly: you kno Carly: love you bitch Ali: love ya 😘

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