#YOU MIGHT HAVE GIVEN UP YOUR SANITY TO COLOUR IT BUT IT WAS ABSOLUTELY WORTH IT

[teaandgames]

Some Horror Recommendations For Halloween!

Well, the spookiest day of the year is upon us. Spooky for those of us that hate our doorbells ringing and the associated human contact, anyway. The true fear is entrenched social anxiety. Anyway, a lot of people’s halloween plans include holing up inside, with the curtains closed, in an attempt to spook themselves. In that spirit, I thought I’d list some of my favourite spooky media for you. Mostly games, but I’ll sneak some films and books in at the end.

The Games!

SOMA

Not one you want to play for the jump out and scream scares, SOMA’s fear is more of a slow build. It’s a very human-centric fear; the fear of losing what you are. It brings in uncomfortable questions about the reality of the human mind and whether memories are the basis of who we are. If those memories, and our subsequent personality, are copied into another body, then are they the same as us? What if you found out that your consciousness only kicked in about a week ago?

It’s let down a little by the wibbly-wobbly screen effect as soon as you see a monster, but the questions it raises are more effective. Plus, it has a fantastic underwater setting.

Dead by Daylight

A multiplayer affair that does a great job of emulating the classic slasher flicks of old. While you can get your kicks by playing as the killer, and having fun with a ton of meat hooks, the real fear comes when you play as the survivors. Attempting to fix a generator and then hearing the ominous music signalling the approach of the killer is terrifying. You never know what direction to go in and panicking will just lead the killer to you sooner.

The community is very all over the place from what I’ve heard, so you might experience some of the usual vitriol and obsessively good players, but if you can find a good group then you can have fun and fear for hours.

Oxenfree

For a change of pace, here’s a horror game with genuinely good writing. It tells the story of a group of friends coming together for a party which unfortunately gets crashed by a dimensional rift. That leads the group to experience supernatural phenomena all over the place, as their friendships get pushed to breaking point. It’s very old school horror, with campy kids trying to survive. I love it.

The writing and dialogue is top notch and while it may not be classically scary, it’s absolutely worth playing through at least once.

Outlast 2

Okay, so, I’m not the biggest fan of Outlast 2. But sometimes you just want some stupid horror; to run away from murderers in a panicked frenzy. Outlast 2 gives you that and then some. Drizzle on some fanatical religious horror and you have an exciting game. Fairly gruesome, too, if that’s your cup of tea. Enjoy being nailed to a cross.

It has a good few problems, not least the lack of direction in the chase sequences. You might have to repeat them a few times but for sheer panic, Outlast 2 is second to none.

Amnesia: The Dark Descent

It would be remiss of me not to mention one of the most well known horror games. An adventure game with a sadistic twist, Amnesia stars a man named Daniel, who’s (shockingly) lost his memory. He wakes up in a strange castle, with instructions to deal with the man behind everything, Alexander. Daniel has nothing to defend himself with and the castle is filled with hostile creatures.

Amnesia can be credited with popularising the sanity mechanic, for better or for worse. While it’s many copy-cats have begun to grate, Amnesia’s use of it taught us to cling to the light, for fear of what’s out there in the darkness.

Resident Evil 7

Another game that has a host of problems. Regardless of the weird goo monsters that drag down an otherwise amazing game, the true fear of Resident Evil 7 presents itself right at the beginning: Jack Baker. An unkillable man, capable of smashing through walls just to get to you. He’s everywhere, at any time and no matter how many bullets you put into him, he keeps coming back.

It’s worth playing just for him. He may look like a man but he’s far, far worse. And he could be around any corner.

Lust For Darkness

Same sorta issue here too. Horror games rarely skate by on their gameplay and Lust for Darkness has other problems too. While it may not be the best game around, it’s an unashamed look into the world of Lovecraftian horror. It’s worth playing because it doesn’t hold anything back and is a good example of the spiral into madness inherent in these works. The cult at the heart of it has long since ceased to be human and it’s dragging our protagonist down with it.

Just don’t play this one on the family computer, eh?

The Forest

A game that can be as creepy as you make it, as you can turn off all the enemies if fear isn’t your cup of tea. Still, when they’re on it becomes a game where fear is always at the back of your mind. You can make the perfect base, complete with farm and water supply, only for it to echo with the sounds of fists on wood as you get surrounded. Not only that, but eventually you’re going to be caught out at night. Once the bigger lads come out, it becomes genuinely tense at night. At least in the day, you can see them to avoid them.

Definitely one of the better survival games and a good horror game. Mostly because your survival depends on a bit more than finding a handful of berries.

Films

The Invitation

A very slow burner, one for the start of the night I imagine. It revolves around a man, currently going through his own trauma, being invited to a party at an old friends house. Seems fine, until the host busts out a video about a cult he��s become part of. That rather puts a damper on the party. The tension ramps up as the protagonist gets slowly more paranoid about the hosts true intentions for inviting them there.

As I said, a slow burn but one’s that worth sitting through, especially for the chilling ending.

The Ritual

Also a book, which I’ll mention later. This extremely British film is about four guys hiking across the Kungsleden trail in Sweden, in memory of their friend who was killed in a robbery. They get pretty tired of their two-hundred-plus mile journey and instead take a shortcut through a forest, which goes horribly wrong. As they get hopelessly lost, it becomes clear that something is following them, which causes their friendships all to break down.

Well acted and genuinely spooky, well worth a watch.

The Cabin in the Woods

Cabin in the Woods is a definite rarity. A parody horror film that manages to be scary at the same time as funny. It takes the usual trope of a bunch of high school kids going off to a cabin in the woods and then goes out of its way to subvert absolutely everything. The entire thing is orchestrated by a group of scientists, who need everything to be cliched in order to appease an old God.

Of course, it doesn’t quite go as planned and that’s where the fun comes in. Definitely one to watch if you enjoy equal parts horror and comedy.

1408

A lighter one to end the film suggestions. 1408 is an adaption of a Stephen King short story, featuring John Cusack as a paranormal investigator. One of those modern ones, who doesn’t believe a damn thing he writes. The majority of the film takes place in this one hotel room, which I thought was a neat trick. It’s a bit of a roller coaster of scares though, meaning it’s just scare after scare, but that’s kind of the point. It’s the room deliberately messing with its occupant.

I doubt it’ll win any awards but it’s good for a handful of scares.

Books

The Necronomicon

A bit of a cop-out, to be honest, naming a big selection of stories but honestly, you need to read Lovecraft if you’re interested in horror. It’s admittedly hard to do so, given his purple prose and tendency towards racism, but the foundations of his stories still hold up today. If you’re not interested in the Chtulu stuff, then try reading stories like The Colour out of Space. It’s good reading and forms the basis of my favourite kind of horror.

The Ritual

Mentioned up there but it’s worth reading too. Adam Nevill has quite a down to earth writing style, punctuated with well realised internal thoughts. The relationship between the characters is explored in much more depth than the films, which makes what’s happening to them all the more tragic. If you liked the film then definitely read the book, to further explore the characters and setting. While the ending of the book dragged on for a bit too long, the bulk of it stands up just a bit higher than the film.

The Shining

Don’t need to say too much about this one but I’m always torn as to whether I like the book or the film more. While the book does push the supernatural stuff a bit too hard, it’s spookier because it shows the steady decline of Jack Torrance. Nicholson’s portrayal is great but the character seems unhinged right from the get-go. The scary part of the book is seeing this troubled man, who genuinely loves his family, descend to the point where he’s a danger to them.

The Haunting of Hill House

A book that’s resurged in popularity after the Netflix series last year, it’s a great example of a haunted house story. There aren’t any major scares in it, instead it relies on drip feeding in creepy moments in order to come to one big climax. It’s an interesting book, even if it does all start blending together by the end. If you like your supernatural stuff slow building, then give it a read.

There, that should keep you busy for Halloween. If you’re not continually interrupted by kids looking for candy then keep those curtains shut, turn down the lights and put on something spooky. See you in November!

#Halloween #Horror #Survival Horror #The Forest #Lust For Darkness #Resident Evil 7 #Outlast 2 #Amnesia: The Dark Descent #The Shining #The Ritual #SOMA #Oxenfree #Dead by Daylight #The Haunting of Hill House #The Cabin in the Woods #The Invitation

[continuallycrow]

i could sit around here for the rest of my life

the coffeeshop/college au nobody asked for. casphardt week day 4: au day. read on ao3 here or below the cut.

“Caramel macchiato for Caspar?”

With a heavy sigh in anticipation of just how hideously Linhardt will have butchered his name on the cup today, Caspar heads to the handoff area and picks up his paper cup. The boxes are ticked and marked in his boyfriend’s easily recognisable scrawl, and just above the siren’s head, Cazpar is scribbled with a crude heart and what might be a butterfly, or might just be a mistake that’s not been crossed through all the way. From the register, Linhardt beams at him, and just for a moment, Caspar feels sixteen again, his heart clenching just a little, the way it always does when he gets to see that smile. It’s part of the reason why he acts so dramatic over the misspellings - because if it makes Linhardt grin and giggle like that, it’s got to be worth it.

“A fucking Z? Really, Lin?” He clutches his chest theatrically, pretends to stumble, and in the process, spills hot coffee all over his hand. “Ow!” “Idiot,” Linhardt scolds fondly, beckoning him over to the counter again and taking his hand. He mops at the coffee with a bit of blue paper towel, but Caspar knows that it’s just an excuse to touch him. Linhardt likes to be touching him. It’s just the way he is, especially now he’s got the Starbucks job at weekends and the football season is in full swing, it’s like they hardly see each other any more.

There’s no line, so Caspar lets Linhardt take him by the collar of his varsity jacket - it’s red and black, the Eagles colours, with his initials stitched on the left side of his chest and his jersey number embroidered on the back, and it might just be his most prized possession after Lin’s heart - and pull him in for a quick kiss. It tastes like coffee, obviously, because Linhardt always has a cup of something on the go, usually a weird secret menu creation or something topped with far too much whipped cream. Today, though, it’s something iced and black, and yet, Linhardt still hides a yawn in his sweater sleeve.

“You are not sleepy right now.” The disbelief is evident in Caspar’s voice. “Oh, but I am so sleepy right now, Cas,” Linhardt almost whines. “How much coffee have you had already?” His coworkers chime in, as if on cue, all bright-eyed as ever. “He’s on his third cup?” Ferdinand guesses. “Fourth, actually. I am surprised his heart is not stopping.” Petra sounds unamused.

Linhardt kisses Caspar again. It’s definitely just to distract him. “How could my heart stop, when you’re here? It beats only for you. And besides, I think I’ve become immune to caffeine,” he adds mournfully, gazing at his cup. Caspar rolls his eyes. “I don’t think that’s a thing. Please drink some water. And call me when you get off.” He leans up for one more kiss, standing on tiptoe, because Linhardt is just that slightest bit too tall, and has taken to wearing a pair of thrifted, thick-soled Doc Martens that Dorothea says are the perfect compliment to his oversized knit sweaters and torn jeans, but Caspar just thinks they were picked out to make his boyfriend an inch too tall to kiss unexpectedly. The only time he can surprise Linhardt with kisses now is when they’re laying in bed, and it’s annoying to need him to bend down every time Caspar wants to show off how fucking cute and how in love they are.

“I promise I’ll drink water. And I promise to at least text you.” Linhardt practically lies across the counter to hug him. “Have fun at practise, okay? Don’t get hurt.” “I never get hurt. I’m fine. I’ll see you tonight.” Caspar reluctantly detaches himself, waves to Petra and Ferdinand, and leaves, the door chime jingling after him.

If he has to run to make practice in time, and his coffee is cold enough to chug by the time he gets there, it doesn’t matter so much when he’s seen Lin.

~~~

“Gingerbread latte for C-Caspar?”

The first snow has fallen on campus, and Caspar has finally given in to Dorothea insisting that he needs to wear more than a hoodie so he doesn’t freeze. He thinks, though, that it isn’t him anyone needs to worry about.

It’s Linhardt, shivering in his Christmas sweater and red apron even among the heat of the coffee machines, his hair coming down from its usually neat half-bun as he flits between bars, grinding beans and steaming milk and pouring hearts and roses in the foam. Petra’s working the register, so Caspar’s name is spelled right for once, and as he goes to take the cup, Ferdinand comes out of nowhere behind Linhardt and pats his shoulder. “Take your half-hour, while you can.”

Caspar beams, and practically drags Linhardt around the handoff, coffee forgotten as he wraps his arms around him. “A whole half-hour? We’re getting spoilt, Linny.” He’s already gently untying the apron strings so Linhardt can take the stupid thing off, so they can commandeer a low table in the corner of the room and Caspar can actually hug Linhardt for the first time in a few days. They’ve been so busy with studying and working that they haven’t had the chance for one of their impromptu sleepovers, both squeezed into a dorm room bed, or even to catch up at lunch. Caspar has been wholly deprived of boyfriend time, and judging by the way Linhardt pulls him down onto an overstuffed couch and buries his nose in the crook of his neck. His face is hot, but his hands are freezing, stained with tiny splatters of mocha and espresso and soon firmly curled in the folds of Caspar’s parka.

“Feeling okay?” Caspar asks softly, nosing into his hair and then deciding to fix it for him. Gentle as ever, he twists the mess into an uneven braid, so at least it won’t get even more tangled as he works. The smell of coffee always clings to Linhardt’s hair, like his personal brand of perfume. In reply, Linhardt sneezes into Caspar’s shoulder. “I fucking hate winter.” A pause. “It’s cold. I want to nap. And I’d happily never see another eggnog latte for as long as I live.” “Aw. C’mon, it’s not that bad, right?” Caspar asks hopefully. “You’re just being a drama queen because you have a cold?” “My blood is ninety percent honey citrus mint tea and cough syrup. And it’s not just a cold. I’m dying.” “Sure you are, babe. Sure you are.” Caspar kisses his head fondly. “You have half an hour and my undying attention. That makes things better. Right?”

When he doesn’t get a reply beyond the softest of snores, his heart melts and breaks and swells all at once. It’s the mark of someone being comfortable, when it only takes a moment for them to fall asleep in your arms or your lap. And it hurts to wake him, when their precious half-hour is up and he has to get back to work, red-eyed and disoriented. Petra takes pity on him, and sends him to do dishes.

If he takes the next day off, and spends it in bed watching Hallmark movies, with Caspar petting his hair and bringing him tea and toast and NyQuil, who is anyone to judge?

~~~

“A pink drink, Caspar? Really? I expected better from you.”

Nobody does disappointment quite like Ferdinand, nose wrinkled in disgust as he holds the cup at arm’s length. “I thought you were an adult.”

Caspar pouts and takes the cup for Caspie. He is going to kill Dorothea for that one, especially as he spots Linhardt’s smug smile. He’s been saving that one up ever since he overheard a tipsy conversation between them at Edelgard’s New Year’s party, one that involved Caspar “waxing positively lyrical”, apparently, about just how much he adores Linhardt. A drunk mind may speak sober thoughts, but drunk Caspar is a sap, and drunk Dorothea is a giggler who likes pet names.

He realises he hasn’t answered Ferdinand. “I am an adult. An adult who likes strawberries, and coconut, and uh, acai. Whatever that is.” “I like the pink drink!” Petra chirps, waving her own almost-empty cup. “And I like a man who is so sure of his masculinity that he isn’t afraid to drink something baby pink,” Linhardt adds between sips of what looks like an iced latte. Caspar narrows his eyes at him. “I thought you made a resolution to drink less caffeine this year. All it does is make you anxious, it doesn’t even keep you awake. You’re broken.” He sidles over to kiss Linhardt anyway. “It’s decaf!” his boyfriend protests. “No it’s not. Decaf lattes are lighter in colour.” “Fuck you, Ferdinand von Aegir.”

Caspar tugs at a lock of Linhardt’s hair where it’s come tumbling over his shoulder. “I’m just trying to look out for you, Lin. For your health. And perhaps a little for my own sanity because your caffeine crashes are fucking awful .” “I don’t have caffeine crashes. This stuff doesn’t even touch me,” Linhardt scoffs, then yelps and lunges for the cup that Caspar has snatched from under his nose. “Give it back!” “If it doesn’t affect you, why do you need it?” “I don’t need it, I…” Linhardt pouts. “I want it. My coffee. Please, Cas.” Ugh. Caspar is absolutely powerless when it comes to Linhardt’s pout and his kicked-puppy eyes and his whining. “Ugh. Fine. You’re hopeless.” “I’ll quit tomorrow?” Linhardt blinks at him, feigning innocence. “I really will?” “No, you won’t.” Caspar rolls his eyes. “I will! From tomorrow, no more caffeine.” “I dare you.”

To his credit, Linhardt lasts until just after lunchtime, head aching with the withdrawal. It takes falling asleep on a cafeteria bench before Caspar relents and drags him back to Starbucks on his day off. He orders a quad-shot espresso and drinks it without a pause, gazing intently at Caspar all the while.

“Never, ever take my coffee again.”

~~~

“Cas?”

Linhardt slips into the changing rooms long after all the other players have gone. He hates it in here, it smells like Axe and sweat and dirt, but Caspar didn’t show up in the stands with the others, so it falls to Linhardt to come and find his boyfriend. The game was close, but not close enough - getting knocked out of the running so close to the final was pretty brutal.

One of the showers is still running, and Linhardt stops in front of it, hand on his hip. “Caspar. I know you’re not still showering. Come out for me.” And then, softer, “Please?”

Caspar always takes the team’s losses as a personal loss. He relies too heavily on himself for the outcome of the games, the actions of his teammates. He may be a captain, but he likes to forget that he’s a human, too. “No. Go away.” “You aren’t made of sugar, as sweet as you are. You won’t dissolve under the hot water. And besides, it can’t still be hot.” “It’s f-fine…” The chatter of his teeth betrays him, and he turns off the water, the cold air of the locker room immediately assaulting his skin. His hair drips down his neck. Maybe this was a stupid thing to do. “Come out, Cas. Come on. It’s only me.”

The curtain twitches aside, and Caspar more or less tumbles right out, into the towel that Linhardt has already grabbed from his bag and proceeds to wrap tight around him. “That’s it. Well done.” Linhardt ignores how wet he is, and kisses his forehead. “You played beautifully. You always do.” “Not good enough,” Caspar sighs. “We suck. We got so close.” A bruise is blossoming across his cheekbone, and when he walks to where he left his clothes, the ankle that got twisted beneath a bad tackle leaves a slight limp in his step. He can feel Linhardt’s eyes on him, concerned, pitying, pained. “You don’t suck. You’ve worked so hard this season. You’ll get to the finals next year,” Linhardt tells him, far too much confidence in his voice, or so Caspar thinks. “Whatever.”

Caspar dresses quietly, and doesn’t complain when Linhardt pulls out his scarf, and gently winds it around his boyfriend’s neck, finishing the gesture with a kiss to his nose, then his lips. “You don’t have to comfort me,” he protests, but it’s weak. For once, he wants the comfort Linhardt always so willingly provides, so he lets his boyfriend zip up his jacket, and towel dry his damp hair even though, outside, he can hear that it’s beginning to rain. “I’m going to anyway,” Linhardt murmurs. “I always will.”

As soon as the fussing stops, Caspar buries himself in Linhardt’s chest, in his layers of wool and his vintage pea-coat, in his embrace. Linhardt holds him there, steadying him, until he’s ready to face the world.

“I brought you hot chocolate,” Linhardt remembers, when Caspar breaks the hug. “Although, it’s probably more like cold chocolate now.” A small smile flutters across Caspar’s face. “We can make more at your place?”

Some things in life are constant. Highs come with lows, wins come with losses. Linhardt comes with sweet hot drinks and the scent of freshly ground coffee in his curls. With icy hands, and holes in his sweater sleeves for his thumbs to poke through. With paper cups and heart-wrenching smiles, and most importantly? Linhardt comes with Caspar. Always.

#fe3h #casphardt #lincas #caspar von bergliez #linhardt von hevring

[nothing-personal-my-dear]

Spartacus : Vengeance Rewatch - Episode 7: Sacramentum

Sex Scene: there’s like 4 whole scenes in a whorehouse, all the sex is happening here.

“Cock”: 5

“Cunt”: 1

“Kill Them All”:  

“Fucking Gaul”: 1

Slow motion Face Punch: 2

Episode Name Dropped by: Glaber

Memorable Death:  MARCIA (for my heart), Sedullus (because brains).

Favourite Line:  “I rival any fucking man, in all things.”

 -  I have basically one clear memory of this episode. AGRON IN THAT HOODED CLOAK IN THE RAIN SMIRKING FOR ALL HE’S WORTH! Hot damn, I am excited for that scene!

-  Holy shit, Agron is even hotter in this scene than I remembered!!!

-  Ahh! Donar helping to free the Germans! I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, you can pry German Donar from my cold dead hands!

-   I love me some silent killing.

-  GERMAN SPEAKING AGRON GIVES ME SO MANY DAMN FEELS!!!! Seriously, when was the last time he spoke his native language? Does he do it with Donar? Was the last time with Duro? According to history slaves weren’t allowed to speak their native language, so maybe it’s been longer than his captivity. SO MANY FEELS.

-  The way Sedullus looks when telling Agron the other guard also speaks German, it almost looks like a test, like he wants Agron to prove himself first.

-  SAXA BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Lucius kills someone, I’m oddly proud!

-  That face slice though.

- Sedullus is just …. He’s the reason Germans are given a bad name, you can see it already.

- LUGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH DAMN, HES SO PRECIOUS! I forgot he spoke English (though really, I’m assuming their speaking latin) in Vengeance, I thought he was mainly all German until WotD.

-  “Cock” in German, still counts!

-  AGRON’S SMILE! CALLING THE GERMAN’S BROTHER! HE IS SO HAPPY! FUCK!

-  OH THIS, THIS I REMEMEBR, AND I FUCKING HATE IT! By “this” I mean Sparty and his jealous suspicions of Agron. Sparty has such a double standard with Crixus and Agron. Crixus is allowed to be the leader of the Gauls with Sparty having basically no say in the matter, but the second Agron wants the same fucking treatment Sparty throws a hissy fit! I’m not trying to be biased, I can see there could be legitimate concers for Sparty with the Germans, as in Agron might separate from the cause and do his own thing with the Germans. BUT, the reason I have such an issue with this whole thing is that Crixus gets to do the same fucking thing BUT HE STILL GETS SPARTACUS’ RESPECT AND LOYALTY! Agron gets none of that, ever. I could write a fucking essay on this subject. To sum up, fuck you Sparty.

-   That Eagle is fucking majestic!

-   Okay, I have always liked Gallienus, he’s kinda adorable.

-   I wonder if Ashur feels a little sorry for what happened to Seppius when he sees Seppia crying. I mean she’s basically still a kid and she has no one, it’s hard not to feel for that.

-  Does Gannicus believe Glaber’s speech or does he recognise the propaganda for what it is? In other words, a load of shit.

-  Love how all the women around Glaber look empty, depressed, absolutely crushed.

- Poor Thessela, you can see the betrayal in her eyes when Ilithyia lies. Poor baby.

-  That crucifixion is pretty intense.

-  Okay I’ve been doing a hell of a lot of research on Spartacus (and Ancient Rome in general) but I now know the names of some background characters. Hey there Lydon patrolling the wall ;)

-   Crixus looks so damn attractive when sparring with Naevia, I think it’s because he doesn’t look angry when he’s fighting her. He looks calm and focused, it’s very sexy.

- LOOK AT THAT LITTLE SMILE!!!!! CRIXUS IS SO PROUD OF NAEVIA!!!!!

-  NASIR AND MIRA FRIENDSHIP!!!! We were robbed!!

-  Oh, you can see Mira’s heart breaking. She’s not a fool, she knows Spartacus doesn’t love her.

-  Oenomaus and Nasir shaking hands……..WHEN THE HELL HAVE YOU TWO ACTUALLY MET?!?!?!

-  Oenomaus should smile more though, it’s so damn beautiful.

-  I wanna cry!!!!! Every one is so happy to see Oenomaus, and he’s looking all proud of his children!!!! I NEED SOME TISSUES!

- I seriously cannot get over the amount of love I have for Agron kissing Nasir in front of his kin without any hesitation!!! All the feels man.

-  I like that Mira keeps on smiling genuinely when the Germans are brought in. She doesn’t care that she can’t understand them, there is no suspicion in her eyes, she accepts them. Unlike Crixus and Oenomaus.

- Nemetes (you fuck) looks at Sedullus with heart eyes.

-  Agron introducing Nasir to the Germans, Nasir smiling and shaking hands with all of them!!! MY HEART CANNOT TAKE THIS! Nasir feeling more comfortable with the Germans for the simple fact that they are Agron’s kin, it’s fucking beautiful. I just wanna stay in this happy little family without all the drama.

- LUGO PICKS UP NASIR IN A HUGE BEAR HUG WITH SAXA SMILING AT THEM BOTH!!!!! THIS IS THE DAMN FRIENDSHIP I ALWAYS WANTED!!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!! There was like a split second hint of this threesome in WotD, BUT I DIDN’T KNOW WE GOT IT RIGHT AWAY!!!!!!

-   “Who will they follow?” SERIOUSLY CRIXUS ALL THE GAULS FOLLOW YOU NOT SPARTY AND YOU KNOW IT. fuck this whole jealously shit.

-  “Yes Dominus.” Oh fuck. Oh fuck. That is the most heart breaking, soul shattering thing Lucretia could ever say. fuck. Ashur needs to die all the time.

- Talking about yourself in third person isn’t a sign of sanity Ashur (I will vehemently ignore Lugo’s desire to refer to himself as such, he’s my baby).

- Oh the wig, poor Lucretia. But the red colour had nothing to do with Quintus, it was all about Gaia right?

-  How deluded is Ashur, how can he think Lucretia is falling for him, how can he think this is real? He is raping her.

-  Holy crap, Ilithyia is actually lying on that chair!! We hardly ever see the Roman’s lying on the chairs in the way they are historically supposed to!

-  I may not really like Seppia, but hot damn she is so SO attractive and especially in black. She should always wear her hair down, she’s gorgeous.

-  Does Ilithyia at least suspect that Glaber had a hand in Seppius’ murder?

-  Glaber has wanted Seppius’ men for fucking ages, but they don’t look like much….

-  I killed your leader, I forced you to come here, I conscripted you, I basically fucking own you….now swear your loyalty. -___- Do Romans not understand how to earn loyalty?

-   I really love it when Ilithyia isn’t playing games with Lucretia, like she genuinely really cares for her. That little smile, her soft voice. Shipper heart is sailing. (I just wish that Lucretia felt the same dammit)

-  Is Lucretia wearing the same dress she wore last episode? Or does she suddenly have 2 navy blue dresses when she’s never worn that colour ever before.

- Seppia’s body slave is an older woman, I really like this idea.

- “I seek vengeance.” –Get in line Seppia.

-  The Seppia / Glaber stuff is gross.

-  “I now gaze into his eyes and tremble at lurks behind them.”

-   Oh gods, Ilithyia and Lucretia talking about the cliff….yikes! But also, I mean it’s basically canon that these two are together right? They basically confess their love every chance they get (in their own fucked up way).

-   No one should look that happy with their hand inside an animal carcass pulling out organs. That’s just weird Agron.

-  OMG I WANNA CRY HE IS SO HAPPY TO BE SURROUNDED BY KIN!

-  Oh fuck shit. You can see the moment Agron gets it, when he realises that Crixus will always be above him in Spartacus’ eyes. He could offer Spartacus Glaber’s head and Sparty would find fault with it. This is the moment when I feel so much for Agron. All he’s ever wanted was for Sparty to trust and respect him, as he trusts and respects Spartacus, but it’s never going to happen.

-   “I give you my word.” –THE LOOK ON SPARTACUS’ FACE WHEN AGRON SAYS THIS. FUCK YOU SPARTY!

-   Dude I really ship Gannicus and Marcia!

-  OMG GANNI ASKED MARCIA TO JOIN HIM!!!!!!!!!!AHH!!!

- Fucking Ashur.

-   OMG look at how they clutch at each other, I SHIP IT SO DAMN MUCH! Actually might be the only woman I ship Ganni with!

-  Ganni insulting Ashur is a beautiful thing.

-   “Gannicus has always been a man of few words.” LUCRETIA LOOKS SO FUCKING AMUSED, I LOVE IT.

-  Comparing Ganni to a Phoenix, I can dig it.

-  Can I just say that Craig Parker is a phenomenal actor. His voice and his movements are so much darker and slower than they were in s1, it’s like his whole body has switched with Glaber’s darkness. It’s truly amazing. Kudos!

-  “Ashur’s talents are of the shadows.”

-  Ganni don’t lie, you never stop craving the roar of the crowd.

-  Mummy and Daddy talking about the kids, it’s so sweet.

-  I’m confused though, now suddenly Sparty is on Agron’s side?!

- “Absent choice,” –those words get to me every time.

- Please stop talking about hypothetical Agron death!

-   Seriously Ilithyia totally thought Lucretia was talking about double suicide, AND SHE WAS ALL FOR IT. shit man.

-   Also, I super don’t find Lucretia slitting her wrist at all traumatic. Is that what all the blood and gore in this show does to you? I don’t actually mind.

-  FUCK. YOU. ASHUR!

-  I actually don’t like Oenomaus and Sparty being buddy buddy…and like, just beucase his wife cheated on him suddenly Oenomaus is all for Sparty’s cause?!?! I just feel like there were some conversations missing.

-  Oh look how quickly Agron loses his smile when Sparty comes around!

-  “I’m glad I risked my life for this lot,” – I love salty Lucius.

-   “I tire of hiding like frightened rabbits.” –why is it always the rabbits?

-  CRIXUS CALLING AGRON PUP HURTS MY FUCKING SOUL BECAUSE HE USED TO CALL DURO PUP!!!!!!!HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!! AND THEN HE TALKS ABOUT WILD DOGS, WHEN THAT’S WHAT PEOPLE CALL NASIR!!!!!! FUUUUUUCCKKKK!!!! This brings a whole new meaning to hitting below the belt.

-  You can really see how hurt Agron is by all this, and I know the leaving early was on purpose and he was being petty but shit man, after all he’s put up with he deserves a moment to act like an idiot. the thing is, is that no one seems to see that he’s grown. He’s not the angry boy he was when he was GRIEVING HIS FUCKING BROTHER WHO WAS HIS FUCKING HEART. He’s healing and growing and genuinely wants to see their people safe and free, but everyone is stuck on him being angry and impulsive when drowning in grief. Give the boy a fucking break.

-  Seriously the amount of shit I can spew about Agron is endless.

-  MARCIA BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-   “What would you have me do? Take up offer and turn on those I once called brother?”

-  “The whole world has slipped from reason.” –and it just keeps slipping and slipping.

-   I love that Lucretia’s plan give all the info for Ganni’s own plan.

-   LUGO TAKING ON SEDULLUS! I LOVE IT!

-    Fuck me, every time Agron looks so happy at his Germans I get all warm and fuzzy. LET AGRON BE HAPPY!

- OMG NASIR IS SO HAPPY TO SEE AGRON HAPPY! I LOVE IT!

-  The wrestling is fucking beautiful, and everyone happy and smiling is beautiful.

-  Seriously what is going on with Crixus? He’s super fucking depressed and not even Naevia’s smile is helping. He has his heart back and she is fighting to regain herself, but he had more life in him when she was gone. What gives?

- Lugo is fucking tragic. I love him.

-  Lugo making friends with Oenomaus, it’s precious.

- WHY CAN’T THESE PEOPLE JUST GIVE THE GERMANS A FUCKING CHANCE!

- “Would that we were never parted.” – my heart is fluttering.

-  Oh my scheming wives.

-  It’s like, for one second you actually like Sedullus and it seems like he just wants everyone to get along, BUT THEN THE FUCKER TOUCHES NAEVIA! YOU DEAD BOY!

- Naevia’s fighting face is beautiful.

-  I FUCKING LOVE THAT AGRON IS THE ONE TO RUN UP THE SECOND HE NOTICES NAEVIA IS IN TROUBLE!!!!!!

-  “Now I fuck the other side of you pretty little face.” –I dunno if I’m just being dumb, but I don’t understand this….like she one has one face, and there’s only one hole of someone’s face you can fuck……I’m so confused.

-   Fuck you Crixus for finding it funny that Agron is getting beat up.

-  Also, can no one tell that this isn’t a fight for fun??

- I’m sorry but everytime Lugo is on screen I shout “LUGO” in my mind.

- OH WHAT, Nasir has on this super intense (and fucking gorgeous) face when Lugo starts fighting.

-  HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!! AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM ACTUALLY SCREAMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE GOT A FUCKING HISS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT WAS BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!! AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Okay but in all this tumbling and fighting, what the fuck happened to Agron. One minute he was on the ground under Sedullus, now he disappeared?!

-  I love this huge brawl more than anything. BUT I have issue with pairing Mira and Saxa together. They do it because they are both females and it’s a huge feminist thing right? (I ain’t hating on feminism at all here) but Saxa is a fighter with immense skill and Mira is not, at all. She is just learning how to fight, she’s nowhere near the level that Saxa is. It seems stupid to pair them together just because they are both girls. It’s almost an insult to Saxa, she should be fighting someone as skilled as she is.

- Sparty and Oenomaus taking shit down with one hit is everything!

-  Despite everything I said about Saxa and Mira fighting, seeing Mira kicking ass is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen! QUEEN MIRA!

- Agron has suddenly materialized from nowhere to fight Sedullus again, okay sure.

-  Oh shit, dude right over the fire.

-   There is the briefest of seconds were I’m worried for Agron’s life, and clearly so is he!

-   Seriously, I get so annoyed with the editing sometimes. One clip, Agron is on his back, next clip he’s on all fours, clip after that he’s on his back again. C’mon people!

-  Where is Nasir though? Who did he end up fighting? Did he win? Did he aggravate his wounds?

-  That face slicing though is fucking brutal. Holy shit. I remember when I first saw it I had a few moments of “oh that’s gross”, then it was “shit that’s kinds cool”, to “super fake but I appreciate the shot”. Now all I can think is that it’s so fucking extra. SERIOUSLY, Spartacus has no idea why the fight broke out, he honestly has no reason to kill Sedullus but he does it anyways……. I don’t think that’s a good leader, even if it does work in Sparty’s favour.

-  Also that brain is a little stupid.

-  OH I SEE NASIR, I have no idea who he was fighting though.

-  I fucking hate the look Sparty gives Agron. He’s so clearly telling Agron that he is not in charge of the Germans….WHY DON’T YOU FUCKING DO THIS TO CRIXUS TOO!!!!

-   Aww, Nasir’s all bloody. I’m weirdly proud!

- Also, Sparty’s speech about animals and being brothers ….. the rebels were fighting the German’s too, so is he calling the rebels animals too?

-   Fuck, Agron’s speech. I’m not ready for the feels…. THE LOOK OF UTTER SURPIRISE ON SPARTACUS’ FACE WHEN AGRON DECLARES HIS LOYALTY MAKES ME KINDA MAD, Agron has never not been loyal to Sparty, fuck you Sparty.

-   Agron basically renouncing his kin for Sparty….it honestly breaks my heart, and not in the good way. CAN’T AGRON JUST HAVE SOME HAPPINESS FOR ONCE!

- Ooohhh I love the way Lugo says “Sedullus”.

-  “Lugo follow.” –guys, I seriously love Lugo.

-  OH OH IT’S THE BEATING OF WEAPONS THING!!!!! SHIT MAN THE BROTHERHOOD DID THIS TO DURO WHEN HE PROVED HIMSELF AGAINST CRIXUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS EPISODE IS GIVING ME SO MANY DURO FEELS! WTF!!!!! I’M SO EMOTIONAL!

- Agron beating his chest, what a sweetie.

-  Oooohhhhhh I see you Nemetes! Shit, I never saw him being so hesitant and wary and not actually giving a shit about Spartacus and his cause….i thought this whole Nemetes being a dick was a WotD thing, BUT IT STARTS FROM THE FUCKIGN BEGINNING. Shit man, I feel like there’s so much of this show that I missed.

- Why is Ganni always at a whorehouse.

-  Seriously what is with all these blue dresses lately?! BUT LUCRETIA IS A FUCKING GODDESS WALKING THE HALLS WITH THE FLOWY DRESS!

-  I don’t even have words for Seppia and Glaber sex.

-  I’m smiling so much at how brutal everything is, and seeing Ganni fight always makes me smile.

-  “Gannicus has made his decision.” –and in such a beautiful way. I love how he killed Ashur’s guy, it was beautiful and him giving up the Rudis is also beautiful and in this one moment in time I really like Ganni.

- I have the urge to watch GotA now.

-  Lucretia should stop scheming with anyone but Ilithyia. All these men she tries to persuade do the exact opposite of what she wants.

#spartacus #Spartacus Blood and Sand #spartacus vengeance #vengeance #spartacus rewatch #season 2 #2x07 #sacramentum #agron #spartacus agron #nasir #nagron #mira #lucretia #ilithyia #gannicus #oenomaus #donar #duro #glabber #rome #roman #gladiators #warrior #rebel #army #slaves #seppia #ashur #freedom

[ianmrid]

It’s All About The Battle!

“Going underground! Going underground! I'm going underground! I'm going underground!” ~The Jam, 1980

Clearly Paul Weller and chums were singing about another new feature in Gen4; the Sinnoh Underground. In fairness to them, that’s pretty prophetic for a tune written in 1980.

The Underground is huge sprawling network of caves that exists beneath the over-world of Sinnoh which you can access after you reach Eterna City and obtain the Explorer Kit from a character called, imaginatively enough, Underground Man. This lack of a proper name is odd given he is revealed to be the father/grandfather to the father and son gym leader duo Byron (Steel-type) and Roark (Rock-type). It’s unusual for the gym leaders to ever be mentioned outside of the town you fight them in, so this kind of family lore, however lightweight it is, is appreciated as it just helps to flesh out the world a bit more.

Once obtained, when activated, the Explore Kit allows you to ‘Go Underground’ and transports you into the tunnel network. The network is vast but all of the pieces are not fully connected so you need to ‘Go Underground’ in various places throughout Sinnoh in order to access all of it. However, it’s not really worth that level of exploration as the Underground is kinda...empty. Sure there are a few things you can do here, and chief amongst them is playing the mining mini-game. If you use the DS touch screen to send a ‘ping’ you may see certain sections of the cavern walls light up indicating some sort of treasure is hidden there. Selecting this glowing point enters you into the mini-game, where you use a pickaxe and/or a hammer to remove rocks and reveal items before the area caves-in and you have to stop. This game, although very basic, is definitely fun and it’s a nice way to get various useful rock-based items (evolution stones, held items, heart scales, etc) as well as an inventive and realistic way to get hold of the fossils of the region. With this in mind, It’s no surprise to see Roark and Byron using a revived Rampardos and Bastiodon respectively.

Away from these useful treasures, by far the most common item to unearth through mining are Spheres. These are weird coloured balls which you can plant in the ground (in order to grow them in size, implying they are some sort of organic matter) and also use as currency with the few NPCs dotted around the caverns. They primarily sell decorative items ‘traps’ and it is these purchases that start to reveal what the original function of the Underground actually was. When you enter the Underground, it activates the local wireless connection of the DS and when anyone else in range does the same thing, they enter the same Underground as you so it essentially acts as a connectivity hub for trainers, allowing them to battle each other, trade pokémon, or share information. You can also build and decorate Secret Bases - making their return from Gen3 - and then play giant ‘capture the flag’-style games with other people, which also explains the traps; they can be set up to try and protect your base in these competitions. This is cool, except here in 2020 these features are not really relevant as no one is playing these games any more! So you just end up with a rather empty cavern network and a mildly diverting mining mini-game.

Except!

In their infinite wisdom, Game Freak has tied the obtaining of a new pokémon to this new feature (because of course they did). In this case it is the Ghost- and Dark-type, Spiritomb which is a rather cool pokémon, and not just because this type combo doesn’t have weakness in Gen4. It is a swirling vortex of 108 souls and/or vengeful spirits, all tied to an odd keystone. This is possibly based on a number of myths and legends, all of which relate to the number 108, such as the number of temptations that need to be overcome in order to reach Nirvana, or the 108 demons/Stars of Destiny/outlaws from a classic Chinese novel called Water Margin. Spritiomb also has 108 as its Defence and Special Defence stats, as well as weighing exactly 108kg. Cool! I love it when pokémon have interesting origins!

The Odd Keystone is an item you find in-game, which you soon find a slot for in a spooky location called the Hallowed Tower. And then....nothing happens. It seems pointless until you start to talk to other players in the Underground. After a few conversations, when you check the Keystone again, you find it has shifted slightly. As you have more and more conversations, it starts to move more, you start to hear an eerie crying, and even begin to feel a presence. Eventually after at least 32 conversations, when you check the Keystone, Spiritomb will appear and attack, allowing you to battle and capture it. This absolutely gets filed under the ‘How was I ever supposed to figure that out without looking it up?’ category of pokémon (see also Feebas) as although you might conceivably talk to 32+ other trainers back when this was released, there is nothing to link these conversations to the seemingly useless Keystone. Oh well, at least I know what I have to do, although given that, as I mentioned, there is no one to interact with in the Underground these days, I had to do this all myself. Fortunately I have a second DS (well, 3DS, but it is backwards compatible, thankfully) and since the logic doesn’t require you talk to 32 different people, I placed a copy of Diamond in one console and a copy of Pearl in the other, then entered and re-entered the Underground a total of 32 times, talking to myself over and over again, until I could fight and catch a ghost. I do worry about my sanity at times like this. 

But who cares, I got a Spiritomb!

#pokemon #pokemon playthrough #e plays pokemon #nintendo #game freak #Pokemon Pearl

[lupinepariah]

Why I’m Otherkin

This is going to be very trigger-y so... to be forewarned is to have four arms, yeah? Wonderful. So, let’s rap.

My mother died last week.

Amongst most of my family I’m the “know-it-all ass-burgers r-word.” I object to this as I really don’t know a lot and I don’t know how I’d weigh my intelligence. If pressed, I’d likely say that I’m not very smart as admitting to intellect makes me feel guilty. I don’t know why. Why do they do it, then? It’s because I have a strong propensity for being right.

You see, I have a strong propensity for doing something they never do. Thinking.

My mother is the only one in my family I’ve ever cared about. I admit, we’re a little distant but I did love her and I cared for her, I never wanted her to suffer. A friend of the family had a mother die not long before my mother died and they wouldn’t listen to me for the aforementioned reason, I wanted to tell their mother about an experimental treatment that was at least worth trying. No no, I’m just talking out of my arse.

That’s how it often is. I don’t think it’s especially difficult to not be stupid? You just have to think first. Is there really so much difficulty in that? I mean... I recall not so long ago when I was screaming at “medical professionals” to stop faecal transplant tests. There’s so much stuff we can’t screen for well and all you’d need is the combination of a superbug and a compromised immune system for people to start dying. It had to happen for them to stop, of course. They did it until people died for exactly that reason.

No one wants to listen to an r-word with ass-burgers.

What frustrates me with my mother though is that the solution to keeping her alive was so simple.

She started new medication recently. It turns out everyone in my family was told about this except for myself, which is dandy. The first thing I advise anyone to do is to check the side effects to make sure that there aren’t any co-morbid effects with any other drugs they might be on, or any instigators of underlying health problems they might have. Fat chance. My family got my mother popping meds without even bothering to read the documentation that came with them.

The first thing I do with anyone is tell them to check the side effects. Always check the side effects. Always check the side effects.

The truth is? I have loads of life experiences like this. I’ve been abused in every way you can imagine. I’ve been through the ringer. Physical, mental, sexual, emotional, and everything else. No matter what could happen to me these days, I’ve felt worse. That’s why the situation with my mother just leaves me feeling cold and angry, and little else.

The truth is is that my experiences with human beings that actually want to be human beings is that they can be monsters. I admit that this isn’t all of them, I’m sure it can’t be, but it is true for the vast, vast, vast, vast, vast, vast, vast, vast... you get the point, the vast majority. They’re monsters.

I was raised by dogs due to parents that were either neglectful or abusive. The dogs died because of abuse, missed vaccines, or other reasons... they were replaced with other dogs because it was the only thing that kept me sane. After all, you have to keep up appearances and make it look like it’s the problmeatic child’s fault rather than the alcoholic, violent, dysfunctional parents. Isn’t that always the way of it? Very relateable, yes?

The truth is is that I’ve had so many bad experiences that I... I don’t feel like I’m a good fit with this species. I’m too kind. I’m too considerate. I think before I act. I actually care. I help people even if they’ve hurt me so, so badly that all I feel for them is hatred. All I want for anyone is to not have to suffer as I do. So while most humans look like monsters to me, I don’t want them to suffer.

This gives one a... unique outlook on life.

As a coping mechanism I started thinking of myself as, well, not human. It helped. It helped so much. And over time I became mentally healthy, even well-adjusted, I’m certainly a lot less angry these days. I even have a partner! They’re non-binary and they’re absolutely lovely, I couldn’t ask for a better partner, so very supportive, creative, and clever. And then my mother died.

It’s hard not to feel set back by it. I feel like I’m teetering on a razor’s edge. I feel that the only way I can cling to my sanity is by more deeply embracing these very strong feelings I have of not being human. The human species—so overly obsessed with itself—brings me great shame. I feel shame and pain that I’m to share this species until the day I die, in body if not in heart and mind.

There’s an autistic community called Wrong Planet because it’s not unusual for autistic people to feel this way. It’s just that for some of us the alienation is so much more profound and extreme than it is for others. We feel it so deeply that we could never be “human,” not in the sense that most would understand that word. I mean, we could certainly never be normal and we’d never want to. It’s a horrible word, isn’t it? Normal. It suggests a binary state where one is the innate default and correct, whereas the other isn’t. How could that be anything other than pathological by design?

Being Otherkin is my coping mechanism.

It isn’t spiritual. I’m not an animal. I don’t have an animal living inside of me. I don’t have an animal spirit. I just really want to be something other than human, thanks.

So I think of myself as a lycanthrope. I’ve an imaginary support dragon who’s there when I’m alone and I have to handle things myself. It’s only by the merit of these two factors that I stay sane. If I had to think of myself as human, if I lost my support dragon, I’d be bouncing off the walls and chewing the furniture to pieces because I’d have no means to handle all of the unimaginably awful things that had been done to me, all of the suffering I’d endured.

No matter how bad something makes me feel, I’ve felt worse. I could only really go up and Otherkin was my way up. It’s a comfort, a small one in a world so bent on destroying itself as this one is. I mean, depletion of the rainforests and a huge hole in the ozone layer and people are still breeding like bunny rabbits. This is what scientists refer to as The Great Filter. Frankly, if not for SARS-CoV-2, humanity likely would’ve gone extinct within the next century.

I feel that SARS-CoV-2 has given the human species a chance to pull back from the brink.

It’s funny because I’ll never know anything other than hatred. I know that. It’s almost impossible for an Otherkin like myself to find any allies other than fellow Otherkin. I mean, I tried to reach out to trans people and they thought I was a meme created to hurt them because that’s what the Alt-Right very successfully brainwashed them into believing. So much for that, right?

I don’t hate trans people for this. That’d be stupid. They’re suffering too. No, I get that they were hacked and it’s not their fault. If you aren’t acting with full agency then you can’t really be blamed.

Every time something happens though that keys into my personal support mechanism I can’t help but latch onto it. I feel included, for once. It’s actually really nice to feel included. This is why I’ve been fixated upon Guild Wars 2 and why it’s been so important to me. I’ve been getting very clingy with it since my mother died because I love being charr and there may just be a good therapy dragon in the latest content. I’d love that.

If ArenaNet wants to do something for one person who’s suffered way too much? Don’t make Jormag evil. I’d really appreciate that. It’s going to hurt like hell if they are. I hate it when dragons always have to be evil because I’m Otherkin. I love dragons.

It’s a perspective thing, yeah?

I don’t really know how to explain it. I don’t think you’d really be able to understand without having gone through decades of torture and abuse. It just shifts your perspective. If I were to show you a picture of five scantily clad humans facing off against a dragon, you’d know for certain that it’s a depiction of heroes versus an evil draconic beast. What I see, however, is a bunch of thieves, burglars, and freebooters looking to slaughter an innocent dragon so they can steal the poor thing’s belongings. The dragon? They’re a mother protecting a clutch of newborn children.

Dragons don’t look like monsters to me. Humans do, though.

That’s unlikely to ever change. I hurt too much for it to.

Of course, that doesn’t mean I hate humans or anything. I don’t really have it in me to hate anyone as that would mean I’d have to want someone to suffer and enjoy it, which I couldn’t. I’d vomit. I’m as diametrically opposed to suffering as anyone could be. I’m really sick of how forced to suffer so many of us are already. It’s just that I can’t look at a human now and not at first see a monster because I have so much trauma to deal with and work through.

So, yeah. I’m Otherkin. It helps. It helps a lot. I love werewolves, dragons, robots, aliens, sapient fungi, and lots of other non-human stuff. It’s great. Sadly, humans being innately narcissistic tend to demonise anything unfamiliar to them, the human species has been doing that since the dawn of time with factors as trivial as skin colour or the shape of one’s nose. It’s tiresome. That’s why whenever something is special enough to have truly non-human entities as forces of genuine kindness opposed to suffering? It wins my heart.

I feel in love with Aurene in Guild Wars 2 for that reason. I feel that that game has been part of my ongoing therapy. I... do worry about being hurt by how they handle Jormag but I do hope. I really do.

So, yeah. That’s why I’m Otherkin. That’s the long and short of it. if you aren’t? I don’t hate you. It’s just that if we met, you’d probably want to hurt me. That tends to be how it goes. I don’t find comfort in the presence of humans. I do find much comfort though in the dreams of being a werewolf protected within a dragon’s shadow. That’s about the only way I can be healthy.

#otherkin #feelings #trigger warning