#ahhhh i hope this is ok and doesn't come off as weird or anything

[inbrightshadows]

*sticks one arm out from under my rock, slips this into the tag, and retreats back under my rock* Inspired by the cass apocalyptic series by somerandomdudelmao It's a very very cool rottmnt fancomic and you should give it a read 👉👈🥺 (Not canon but you might recognize some parts/dialogue from the comic) [warning for implied/referenced past infant death but no actual infant death (the boy is fine dw), infected wounds, amputation, and a dog like creature biting someone]

The first time Casey Jr almost dies he's about three months old, by their best guess, and he's only been Casey Jr for a week.

Cassandra and Raph go out on a supply run, which is normal. They come back with a baby in a box, which is not.

Fortunately or unfortunately, there's no such thing as government or paperwork in the apocalypse. So there's nothing stopping Cassandra from saying “I found him in an alley so he's my son now, his name is Cassandra Jr.” And that's that.

Thankfully, this isn't the resistance's first baby so there's plenty of formula and hand me downs to supply Cassandra in her sudden status as a Mom. And everything else the family quickly supplies.

Donnie is very uninterested in babysitting the oozy crotch goblin but Casey Jr's crib still has the genius built logo and built in laser security system to prove he cares in his own way.

Mikey breaks into his carefully rationed paint supply to paint a small mural above the crib and takes every chance to babysit he can.

And Raph? Well Raph dives headfirst into the roll of co-parent slash halway blockade.

Then there's Leo.

In his own words, he has a whole resistance to babysit. And besides that there’s not much he can really do other than what he’s already doing.

Fight the krang, stop the war, give little Casey Jr a better world to grow up in. And also avoid everyone’s efforts to get him to hold the baby.

He is not cut out for tasks that require a delicate touch but it seems like he’s the only one who understands that. He’s a gigantic mutant ninja turtle who, unlike his brothers, has never had any kind of hobby that requires any kind of delicacy. So he hangs back, he keeps an eye out for things that will be useful to the Caseys while he’s out on the surface, and he waves away attempts to hand Jr to him.

And then Casey Jr gets sick.

It should be fine. Should be normal. Babies are delicate little things, getting sick is a thing they do. Except there’s not much the way of medicine in the apocalypse. And babies are delicate.

It starts as a low grade fever. By the end of the day it’s a raging bonfire. They have a lot of things but medicine is in short supply. Nothing they have is working. It’s just Casey Jr, sobbing his heart out on Raph’s shoulder while Cassandra hovers and Raph tries to soothe all three of them.

There’s nothing Leo can do to help. They don’t have the medicine they need to treat the fever. At least not something safe to use on a baby. Raph is the one who remembers how Dad used to use lukewarm baths to break their fevers when they were little and he was still too scared to try human medicine on them. It helps enough that they can get some formula into the kid. But it’s not fixing things.

Two days pass and the fever refuses to break. The baths are becoming less and less helpful. After the third refused feeding attempt that afternoon Donnie slams down a map of ‘areas most likely to contain useful information or materials for treating a sick baby.’

Leo and Mikey gear up and head out leaving Donnie to monitor things back at base while April takes charge of running everything else so that Raph is free to help Cassandra take care of Jr.

It’s bad luck, really, that a pack of krang dogs find their camp on the first night. It should be fine. They should be able to handle it.

But bad luck is bad luck.

Leo sees movement out of the corner of his eye. He moves to dodge and the ground underneath him decides now is a perfect time to give way.

“LEO!” Mikey yells as Leo tumbles away into the dark.

Leo grunts, biting back a scream as the Krang dog’s teeth sink into his arm. They tumble into the dark together, bouncing down the stacks of rubble. It’s dead by the time he lands but the damage is done.  

The good news is that the fall kept the dog from getting a good grip on him.  

The bad news is that even if the bite won’t infect him with Krang regular infections are different story. Krang zombies have foul mouths.

Mikey can’t find out it managed to bite Leo. If he does he’ll want to go back and get Leo treatment before they look for the medicine.

And right now every second could mean the difference between getting medicine to Casey Jr in time or adding to their graveyard.

So Leo makes sure that by the time Mikey makes it down to him his first aid kit is a good bit lighter and any sign of the bite is hidden beneath his normal arm wraps.

When Mikey finds him Leo smiles and doesn’t hesitate to wrap both arms around his little brother.

“Are you okay- did it bite you?” Mikey asks, darting around him to hunt down every last scrape.

“Nah, just a couple of scratches,” Leo lies. “Let me heal them-” “No, we’ve got a ways to go, I won't risk you wearing yourself out too soon.” “Leo!” “I already used my first aid supplies on them! It’d be a waste if you healed me now!” Mikey glares at him but huffs and nods. “Fine! But if they start to feel bad-” “I’ll tell you, don’t worry,” Leo lies again.

Day two is a bust. There's useful supplies in the area Donnie marked out for them to search, sure, but nothing that will help  Casey Jr. Or the sensation of a burn throbbing its way up Leo's hidden bite wound.

Leo and Mikey mark out where the useful things are and keep going. Someone can go back for them when they're less pressed for time.

That night Leo waits for Mikey to fall asleep before he checks the bite. It's bad.

The moment the bandages come off he's gagging at the putrid stink of infection. It's hard to see it in the dark but then again he's not sure he really wants a better look. It wouldn't change his mind anyway.

He can make out the dark veins of infection spreading. If he wasn't green it'd certainly be a violent red.

He cleans it, spreads a thin layer of disinfectant cream that will do about as much good as throwing a cup of water at a bonfire, and re-bandages it.

His usual arm wraps go up over top of it, hopefully Mikey won't notice he's done them a bit higher than normal.

All the evidence goes into the fire. By the time Mikey's turn to take watch comes all that's left is ash.

On day three Leo wakes up feeling like someone dropped a building on him. He makes the mistake of groaning about it.

“Leo? Are you okay?” Mikey asks. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine. I just, uh, I think I’m inheriting Dad’s back problems! That or the Krang made the ground harder.” Mikey snickers. “I mean, they would, but I’m also pretty sure you just called yourself old.” “I did not!” Leo drags himself upright and makes a show of cracking his back. It obliges with a satisfyingly loud pop that makes Mikey giggle harder. “I think your spine disagrees with you too.” “Shut up!” “Awwww are you feeling cranky, old man?” 

Leo is too exhausted to feel properly offended or even think of forming a comeback but he plays it up for his little brother anyway.

Anything to keep him from worrying. Or forcing them to turn back. It’s fine. This shouldn’t take too much longer anyway.

It’s midday by the time they reach the second site. Just from a glance it’s obvious this is a more promising site. There are actual chunks of buildings scattered around and there’s enough of a shattered sign left lying around to tell them that whatever kind of care this place used to give it was geared specifically towards children.

There’s plenty to find digging through the rubble. Well. Plenty for Mikey to find. Leo is mostly trying not to let on how dizzy he is.

To both of their frustration, they run out of daylight before they find anything. Leo can feel his body screaming at him to lay down and rest. Just a little longer, he tells his body. They’re going to find the medicine. He can feel it. Leo just needs to make it at least that long.

The fourth day dawns. Mikey shakes him awake as soon as there’s enough light ot see by. Leo bites back a moan as he claws his way upright. Leo thought his arm hurt before but now it feels like someone is pouring lava down it.

He notes with a calmness that boarders on absurdity that he can’t feel his fingers.

Something must show on his face- or maybe he just looks at least halfway as awful as he feels- because Mikey frowns at him when he wakes up.

“I’m worried,” Leo blurts out. “If this takes much longer then- I don’t think- he’s already been sick for so long.” “We’ll find it. Today, I’m sure. I’ve got a good feeling.” Leo tries to smile for him and hopes the shaky thing he offers up is enough. Well. At least one of them is feeling good.

Leo is lucky. He’s always been lucky. Luck runs out eventually, it always does. But not today. Maybe it helps that Leo isn’t hoping for something for nothing. Because on day four they strike gold.

Mikey is a short bit away, digging through the rubble with his power, hunting for anything with even the chance of helping. Leo is doubled over just out of his site, trying to stifle his stomach’s efforts to rebel against him.

Don’t hurl, he tells himself, if you hurl there’s no way Mikey won’t realize something is wrong.

He forces his eyes open, hoping that focusing on something will help. And then Leo’s eyes fall on a shattered glass cabinet, several packs of some something promisingly adorned in cartoon human children. He reaches in, flips it, and feels a wash of relief when he realizes it’s exactly what they’re looking for.

“Mikey- Mikey look-” everything fuzzes, tumbles. There’s something under him. He blinks back blurs of color, tries to resolve them into something coherent. Mikey’s face hovers over him, mouth moving. He looks upset. “What's the matter?” he tries to ask. “Leo! Leo, are you sick? What hurts?” “Arm,” Leo answers without thinking.

Oh shit. Oh shit he’s not supposed to let Mikey know. But it’s a little late for that. At least the panic clears his head a little. Mikey makes a wounded sound in the back of his throat as he uncovers the bite.

“Leo.” “Yeah, I know. Sorry… sorry for lying.” He watches Mikey’s lip wobble until Mikey catches it in his teeth. “Leo this is bad! We- I don’t know if we have the supplies to treat this!” Leo hums. Now that the panic is fading it’s getting so much harder to think. He lifts his good hand before he can forget and flops it over towards Mikey. “S’okay. We can go back now.” Mikey takes the box of medicine with shaky fingers. “Leo,” he croaks.

Mikey is talking. Something… probably important? He looks scared but they’re not under attack. He’s pretty sure they’re not. Leo tries to focus on him anyway but it’s so hard. He’s so tired.

He’s been tired but there was no resting, not properly, not until they got what they needed. They do now so it’s fine, he can rest his eyes a bit.

Good. Seeing is hard too. Just blurs and colors.

He feels Mikey’s hand on his face, his voice in his ears. He tries to pay attention but he’s slipping, sliding away.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, but he’s out before he can think of what, specifically, he’s sorry for.

Leo doesn’t remember the trip back, just the thud of Mikey landing. Someone screaming. A hand squeezing his. Small. Thin fingers. Lots of them.

“April?” he might mumble. He thinks. “Shhh, rest big guy,” Probably-April says. “Donnie has it. He’s gonna fix it.” Oh. That’s good. He lets himself sink, lets her hold him together while he waits for Donnie to do what Donnie does best.

A light in his face. “Am I dying?” he says. Thinks? Someone hisses. Angry sound. Who does that again? “Not if I have anything to say about it. And I have a lot to say about it.” Oh. Donnie is here. That’s good. Didn’t someone say he was coming? “Now go to sleep, you don’t want to be awake for this part.” Leo doesn’t get a chance to answer, he’s already sinking again.

Leo blinks up at the ceiling of Donnie’s lab. He spends a good while just staring at it, trying to get his brain to work. His arm throbs. “Ow.”

Some several things crash and shatter and then Donnie''s face hovers into view. “How do you feel- nauseous? any pain, aches, fever? Chills?” “Uh, my arm hurts a little?”

“Which one? The one that got bit by one of the most disease ridden things in the apocalypse and then went four days without medical care or the other one?” “Hey I did some medical care!” “You did FIRST AID. You know, the thing you do to help someone before you get them ACTUAL MEDICAL CARE.”

Leo winces. There’s no arguing about that one. “Ok well, I was hoping we’d find the medicine and get back before it got too bad.” “Well. You didn’t.” “Yeah, I guess. How long was I out?” he asks. He tries to lift his arm but he can’t feel it move. He frowns. “It… barely hurts anymore. Uh. Donnie? I can’t- Um. Donnie. I can’t feel my arm.”

Donnie’s face twitches. Leo tries to turn his head to look at his arm. Donnie’s hand darts out out to stop him. Leo looks at Donnie again. Donnie looks away, grimacing and refusing to make eye contact.

“Donnie-” “Don’t look yet.” Leo tries to move his arm again but there’s still no response. No it’s not just that there isn’t a response. He can't even feel the weight of it.

He can feel his shoulder. He can feel a ring of throbbing pain a few inches above his elbow. And then it’s just… light? Like there’s nothing but air- oh. Oh. Okay then. There’s where his luck ran out. “...Huh. That’s. Hm. Let me see?” “Leo-” “Donnie. Let me see.” Reluctantly, Donnie eases back.

For a second Leo doesn’t do anything. He closes his eyes and breathes. He turns his head. He opens his eyes.

It’s gone.

Everything past his first crescent marking is gone.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep, measured, breath. Okay, he thinks. Okay. He’s a medic. He knew this was a possibility.  Donnie starts eyeing him nervously.

“Did he make it?” Leo asks at last. “...Yeah he made it,” Donnie says quietly. Leo feels like he's fully breathing out for the first time since Cassandra burst into the infirmary with a sick baby in her arms. "Good. That's good." Donnie puts his hand over the end of Leo's nub, covering the scar. He stares at the floor and says nothing. Silence reigns. Leo stares up at the ceiling, letting it settle around them.

Until the door slams open and the rest of his family tumble through the door, both Caseys included.

The last knot of tension loosens from him at the sight of Casey Jr, happily wiggling in his mom’s arms as he flails his arms at Raph.

He tears his eyes away as his family gathers around him, worried and loud, and Leo only knows one way to calm them down.

“So. I’m guessing I'm the opposite of... All Right now, huh?” Cassandra covers Casey Jr's ears. Donnie leans away, inhaling sharply. “Why are you like this?“ he asks. “Because it's all I've got... Left” Raph groans, hiding his face in his hands. “Already?” “Put him back under,” April says, deadpan. “Boooo,” Mikey says, and Leo pretends he doesn’t sound two steps away from tears.   “I hate you so much,” Donnie lies, a few screens manifesting around him. He taps away with the hand that isn't still covering the scar on what remains of Leo's arm while Leo laughs at his own terrible jokes.

“You no longer have a choice about getting a prosthetic. Mikey tried to say I had to ask before implanting experimental technology in your body but you know what? I’m making an executive decision. I can’t live with the puns.”

Leo starts laughing harder, so hard that it circles right back around to sobbing. He’s buried in a pile before the first sob can even fully leave him. Donnie’s eyes stay on the screen even as he shifts his hand to Leo’s shoulder and squeezes. “I’ll fix it. Don’t worry.”

Leo spends a lot of time sleeping but he’s never alone when he wakes up.

There’s Raph, showing off the balls he’s threading onto his mask tails so Casey Jr can climb them while Cassandra sits nearby, once more restitching her perpetually tearing sleeves on her shirts.

He wakes to Mikey making little fish or birds dance in the air while Casey Jr sits in his lap and reaches for them.

Or there’s April pouring over battle plans with a mug in one hand and the other wrapped around Casey Jr.

Point is there’s a lot of Casey Jr. So Leo really should be prepared to wake up with a tiny weight on his chest, healthy and safe and sound. And still so very tiny. His breath hitches, he doesn’t dare move.

“Bemused scoff.”

Leo carefully turns his head toward where Donnie is busily typing away at something.

“You know you can’t avoid holding him forever. Even I've held him." Leo gives Donnie the flattest look he can manage. Sure. Donnie has held Casey Jr. Once in a blue moon when there was literally no one else to do it (and Leo's hands were firmly tucked under his arms.) For about sixty seconds total. "...I've held him more than you have.”

Leo grimaces. “Look, I wasn’t cut out for holding delicate stuff when I had two arms. It’s an even worse idea now that I’m twice as likely to drop him.”

“Invalid excuse. I’m already working on a solution to your arm situation.” Donnie waves his hands and his ninpo sparks, building a blue print of an arm and some other thing hovering in the air between them.

“These are the schematics for a bio-mechanical arm and a socket implant to allow it to safely interface with your nero-” Leo’s brain glazes over the rest of Donnie’s explanation.

“...So you want to turn me into a kick ass cyborg?” he asks as soon as Donnie is done. “Did you listen to none of what I just said?” “C’mon, Don, I’ve got you for all the nerd stuff.” “Exasperated sigh, yes I’m turning you into a kick ass cyborg.” “Sweet,” Leo says, yawning. Donnie huffs. “Go back to sleep, Nardo.” “Can’t, baby could fall,” Leo mumbles. “I won’t let him fall. Just rest.” And Leo trusts his brother. So he does.

It takes a frustratingly long time for Leo to recover enough for the surgery to implant the port for the arm in his stump. It’s more low profile than he expected, hardly noticeable at all unless you’re looking head on at it.

Then there’s a whole other saga of learning how to use the arm Donnie has built him. It’s clunkier than Donnie’s preferred standards but it works almost as seamless as his real one. He gets good with it and he gets good with it fast because with the Krang you either do it fast or you don’t do it all.

The unintended and unwanted side effect of this is that now his family are no longer accepting “I’m not good enough with my arm I might drop him” as a valid excuse to not hold Casey Jr.

And they are very, very, intent on getting him to hold Casey Jr.

Look. Leo is thanking sweet pizza supreme in the sky and every one of the Hamato ancestors, Casey Jr bounces back from being sick like it never happened.

He bounces and wiggles, he babbles and giggles, as though less than a week or so ago he wasn’t so sick that Leo and his family (literally) risked life and limb to get him medicine. And Leo is thrilled. Really.

It’s just that he wishes his family would stop encouraging Casey Jr’s newest favorite game- trying to grab Leo. Because apparently one of any baby’s favorite thing is whatever they can’t have.

“Here! Hold him!” Mikey holds Casey out so that he faces Leo. Casey Jr, who seems to have a sixth sense for when someone is playing the 'try to get Casey close enough to touch Leo' game,  is thrilled. His tiny arms wave at Leo, itty-bitty fingers clenching like they’re ready to latch on the second they’re close enough to touch him.

“W-wait, I can’t!” Leo protests for the thousandth time. But Mikey isn’t taking no for an answer this time. A nudge of mystic power keeps Leo from fleeing. All Leo can do is tuck his dangerous un-baby proofed metal arm away from tender baby skin and wave his flesh hand pleadingly.

“C’mon Leo… you have to hold him eventually.”  Mikey cajoles, gently waggling Casey Jr.

“Not happening, no way.” Leo leans back as far as Mikey’s powers will let him.

“Yes way,” Mikey says, holding Casey closer and closer. Casey is giggling furiously, tiny arms flying at top speed.

“Do you even see how tiny he is?” Leo points at the baby, just in case Mikey needs a reminder. “I could break him with one finger!” There’s a tiny nudge to said finger. Leo looks down. Casey Jr is copying him, nudging Leo’s much larger finger with his own.

Mikey gets a look on his face. A terrible, evil, look.

“One finger? Like thiiiiis one?” Mikey grins as he lifts his middle fingers away from Casey Jr’s body. Leo freezes. “Mikey. Mikey no.”

“Whats that? Oh nooooo.... I can’t hear you over the sound of my grip slipping!” Mikey sing-songs. “Don’t you dare!” Leo stares at him, horrified and frozen. He won’t. Surely he won’t. Cassandra would murder him. Raph would double murder him. He wouldn't. Right? Right??? “Oh no! I hope someone catches the poor delicate baby!” And then Mikey drops Casey Jr.

Leo shrieks. He forgets that Mikey is literally magic and does not need his hands to hold a building, much less a baby.

“Mikey what the fuck!” Leo squawks, hands flying forward and closing around the tiny delicate bundle that is- … not falling towards the ground at all actually.

The gears turn, the realization that he's been tricked sets in. Leo glares at Mikey. Mikey grins, unrepentant, and waves his faintly glowing hands, a glow also present around a perfectly safe Casey Jr. The glow vanishes and Leo feels the surprisingly greater weight of the baby properly in his hands for the first time.

“Ahhhh Mikey- Mikey take him back!” Mikey stubbornly keeps his hands in the air and backs away, still grinning. “You’re fine, you’ve got this.” “I don’t have this!” in spite of saying this Leo is already tucking Casey closer to him. “It’s fiiinnne, you're doing fine! Look, he’s having a great time!”

Tiny clumsy fingers hit his jaw, drawing his eyes down. Casey Jr has one hand buried in Leo’s scarf. The other is pressed to the highest part of Leo’s face it can reach. As he looks down they stretch up, reaching for the vibrant red markings on his face.

“Ah- what- what does he want?” “Awww he likes your stripes, hold him higher!”

Hesitantly, Leo shifts the baby a little higher in his arms and Casey’s little fingers smack against his markings, clenching against them as best the pudgy little things can. Leo chuckles. “What? You want those? Hate to break it to you bud but they’re kind of attached to me.” Big dark eyes lock onto his. Casey Jr babbles. His little fingers flex against Leo’s face again.

Someone makes a noise like a slowly deflating balloon. Leo looks up to find Raph has found them. He’s standing in the doorway, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

“Please tell me Donnie has a good angle on this,” he says, voice wobbling. Raph’s com clicks on and switches itself to speaker mode. “Sending you the best shots as I speak,” says Donnie’s voice. “I hate all of you,” Leo lies. Mikey snickers at him, Raph is too busy cooing to reply. And then Casey Jr realizes Raph is there and decides he’s done being held by Leo. He leans his entire body toward Raph and puts all of his tiny baby might into wiggling free of Leo's grip.

“Oh fuck-” “Don’t cuss in front of the baby!” “Raph. Raph.” “You’re doing fine, relax-”  “He’s gonna fall! I’m gonna drop him- Raph!” Raph easily scoops Casey Jr up, saving Leo from the terrifying force of a wiggly baby.

Casey Jr giggles and grabs for Raph’s mask tails while Leo dramatically flops to the floor. Mikey continues to snicker at Leo’s expense, floating over to pat his head.

“I can’t believe you pretended to drop him just to trick me into holding him,” Leo groans. “You what?” Raph’s head snaps over to them. Mikey freezes. “I had mystic hands on him the whole time!” “Baby holding is a two hand activity!” “You literally hold him with one hand!” “Raph’s hand is big enough to count as two!” “Oh that is so not fair!” “... Leo watch the little man for a minute.” Raph sets Casey Jr down by Leo’s head. Leo makes an inarticulate sound of horror but before he can protest Raph is already bolting for Mikey.

Mikey flees with a yelp.    Leo looks at Casey Jr. Casey Jr looks at him. “So, you come here often?” Casey Jr stuffs his fist in his mouth and makes a garbled noise around it, almost recognizable as a very turtle like chirp. Leo checks that his brothers are out of ear shot and then chirps back. Casey Jr’s eyes widen and sparkle. He takes his damp hand out of his mouth and smacks Leo in the face with it. Leo grimaces. “Thanks.” In the distance, Mikey screams as Raph catches him but it's just as quickly followed by laughter.

Casey Junior grows up in between loss and stolen joy and forgotten childhood memories. He gets old enough to ask questions. Inevitably, the day comes when he asks “Sensei, how did you lose your arm?”

And Leo lies.

Or, well… He doesn’t lie so much as he just… leaves out some details. Details Casey Jr does not and will not ever know if Leo gets his way.

“Ah, you know… Krang dog got a lucky bite in. By the time I got back to base it was the arm or me and Donnie chose me.” He says it with a light little shrug, like it’s no big deal.  

Because for Leo, it’s not a big deal. Between losing an arm and losing family he’d chose the arm over and over again.

#rottmnt #Cass apocalyptic series #rottmnt casey jr #rottmnt future leo #I did not mean for this to be so long help #ahhhh i hope this is ok and doesn't come off as weird or anything #Originally it was just going to be Leo's family tricking him into holding the baby but then I got an Idea #and then the idea got Really Really big... #my writing

[lifeofnickripley]

Favorite Manga/Anime

Kay, so If I'm gonna start posting stuff onto here, guess I gotta do some journaling kinda stuff.(It is a blog after all) Alrightly then, guess I'll start off with something relevant to the original content I will frequently post, Manga/Anime. There will be a lot that I love that aren't on here, but these are my personal favorites.(LONG BLOG I AM SORRY)

Top Anime:

Honorable mention - Amon - The Apocalypse of Devilman OVA - Kay so I'll be the first to admit, I'm a total edgelord.(one of my bands is a death metal band) and this one is GORY!! It's depressing, messed up, dark. It deviates from the Manga storyline but I always go back to it, plus that ending OST is amazing.

10.)Monster Musume - I probably should be extremely embarrassed about liking this one...but I'm not, it's amazing. Perverted? Yes. Weird? very. So much weird T&A action goin on that it's nauseating at times? oh my god yes. That being said, IT'S HILARIOUS!!!

9.) Pop Team Epic - Ever wondered what it's like in hell? This show. This show is literally meme hell, to the point where you lose brain cells if you watch it too long. It's great. I recommend it, after watching a decent chunk I wanted to scoop out my eyeballs and play tennis with them. That may sound like a bad thing, but trust me, it's an amazing feeling.

8.) My Hero Academia - Kay, so I'm not caught up on this one, buuuuut it's motivational as hell. I don't think I've ever rooted for a protagonist to win at something more than I've rooted for Deku. The popularity of the show speaks for itself but, damn, what an awesome underdog show.

7.) Jojo's Bizzare Adventure - SONO CHI NO SADAME!!! JOOOOOOOOOJOOOO!!! I still need to catch up on this one too but I love this wacky, music reference filled, insane show. I doubt I can really say much that hasn't been said already bout it. So on that note ORAORAORAORAORAORAORARARA

6.) Noir - Highly underrated anime. Bout two female assassins, one played by Monica Rial. Refreshingly dark and realistic, this awesome tale is set in France and is haunting, to the point of where I still come back to it after years and years of watching it. Quality anime that has slipped under most people's radar.

5.) Mirai Nikki - I said I was an Edgelord, right? Think this one cements that status. Home of the best Yandere in all of anime, I doubt I need to sing it's praises. Yuno Gasai is a well known character for a reason. Love this insane series.

4.) My Bride is a Mermaid - I'll admit, when I first saw this on Netflix and began watching it out of boredom, I didn't think I would like it. Matter of fact, I was sure I would hate it. I don't typically like cutesy things, edgelord here, I despise things that are cute and cuddly (Cept for cats). But HOOOOLY HELL this one was funny. Best part is? It doesn't rely on pervy imagery to be hilarious, it is humor at its purest. Comedy anime at its finest.

3.) Samurai Champloo - Sa-sa-sa-samurai champloo! Woooo where do I begin? Three misfits, Edo period Japan, Hip-hop related adventures, and badass fight secenes? Count me in! Made by the same people who made Cowboy Bebop, even has Steve Blum voicing Mugen, so you know it's good.

2.) Saikano - Kay so don't judge an anime by its art style. I repeat: NEVER judge an anime by its art style. This one is cheesy, yes, and the English Dub is horrible. THAT BEING SAID, it really does not go where you would expect it to go and one scene in particular had me shedding...manly...tears-It's sad, ok?! That character didn't deserve that death scene!!!

1.) Neon Genesis Evangelion - Ahhhhh yes. The creme de la creme of #toodeepforyou. Highly intellectual and artistic, this DIY amalgamation of a series hits many notes for me and came to me at a time where I needed it most. It's slow but if you allow yourself to be patient and analyze what is at first appearance a confusing, psychedelic nightmare, you'll find yourself in for a treat. Best part of the series for me? The movie End of Evangelion. You watch the series, you have to watch the movie. End of discussion.

Top Manga:

(BEEN AWHILE SINCE I'VE READ MANGA SO IT'S ONLY TOP 3)

3.)Inuyasha - The original Manga that got me into anime/manga. Rumiko Takahashi's work is very near and dear to my heart. I just remember the feeling of reading these for the first time in Middle School, I don't think I knew manga could be this cool when I firt started. The demons were legit terrifying, you couldn't help but root for Inuyasha and Kagome. Mindblowing stuff for an 11 year old.

2.)Berserk - Probably the one manga I still retroactively read. Dear god, it's excellent. The story, the fantastic art, superb writing and character development. There is a reason I want to get the Brand of the Sacrifice Tattooed on my neck. Guts is arguably one of the most sympathetic anti-heroes ever written. This is another series that really entered my life at the right time. No matter what terrible things happen to Guts. He lives on, he fights through his literal demons everyday. Above anything else, he carries on. Will forewarn anybody hoping to check it out though, extreme depictions of violence and sexual violence. Series is not for the faint of heart AT ALL.

1.)Ranma 1/2 - Ahhhh Ranma 1/2. My absolute favorite. Every time I sit down and read this manga, I find myself genuinely laughing from one of the panels. In my opinion, Rumiko Takahashi's best work. It is an absolute comedy masterpiece. Pure craziness and absurdity. 10/10.

#blog #manga #anime #favorites #neon genesis evangelion #berserk #ranma 1/2 #noir #my hero academia #jojo no kimyō na bōken #amon the apocalypse of devilman #saikano #samurai champloo #inuyasha #my bride is a mermaid #mirai nikki #pop team epic #monster musume

[kyunsies]

MADCH MADCH <3

hello fam - I've had a weird day, I'm super happy I can take the time out to reply to you. always thinking of you though, I hope you're always having a great day. today's been a bit of a non day - a family member has to deal with operations and that's on top of me too so i've just felt a bit winded in life?

YES to you finally conquering that damn cold! do you feel properly replenished now? omg i hate sore throats too - okay i hope this doesn't give you nightmares but when i was a kid i saw a documentary about this terrible disease that manifests at its worst a bit like alzhemiers but it can hit anyone of any age and for the majority of people who get it... one of the first symptoms is a sore throat and i have literally lived in terror of sore throats ever since. but luckily it's a very rare disease. so basically, yes, i understand you.

OMG you know when you're like eight and you don't want to sleep and you're like no i will adult and stay up and it will be glorious - i'm like, CHILD YOU FOOL you could have gone to sleep XD and ugh no responsibilities?! i remember working most of the time when i was a kid and i kind of wish i had wreaked havoc? what was your childhood like? did you get to do lots of fun stuff? i know my mum wishes she had been able to spend more time with me when i was a kid and i'd like to have a family and i'd love her to be able to relax and just spend time with her grandkids? OMG well when you come to europe let me know and then i can show you around and give you a hug in person!

so we're mainly cofe here though cahtolic culture is still big and honestly i'm with you. like religion can be a great influence on you if it's not used in nefarious ways and can help you learn so much - like even if there are things you don't end up agreeing with at least you learn about then so you can make a choice for yourself as opposed to not really knowing anything? agree - people that are really boastful totally put me off, i just can't deal with it at all. but you're right, like it makes us so so hard to forgive ourselves for anything right? like, even if we've done nothing wrong and we shouldn't have to punish ourselves? like i swear i'm apologising for everything haha XD once someone pushed me off the tube and i ended up apologising like ON REFLEX? hasjdkahds XD but i really hope you have people around you that keep bigging you up too! if not i will keep bigging you up :D :D so you know that you are worth it.

i'm sorry you're not looking forward to your final year of uni! think you're almost there though - like this is the final stretch and you'll have like conquered everest you know?! and even if your landing at the end of it isn't as perfect the fact you landed at all means so much and that means you can stand up again and keep going! day at a time and moment at a time you know? i kind of had this moment today (hence my wierd day) when i was worry about everything and i literally sat there like - have i made the right choice and done the right thing and surely i've made the wrong choices in my life and do i actually have any talent cause if not people would actually like my stuff and i had to just be like... a moment at a time sometimes you know? like, just bit by bit and don't sweat the stuff you don't have to? idk i find it hard to do but i hope that helps you - like you'll surmount every little thing bit by bit and before you know it you'll have made it! you were born ready you were <3 <3

TINY SQUAD IS GO! the pant dilemma is truly a massive issue, like IDK how to deal OMG OK SO LAMPSHADING is like when you do big baggy like tops and then like leggings or tights or something skinny on the bottom so... you look like a lampshade? like i guess it makes you look cute and then also it's such an easy way to dress without worrying if you look like a kid that's wearing your mum's clothes?? ahsdjakdhsa XD

AHHHH YES BASIL ME TOO!! what scent did you end up buying? i'm sure it was lush - are your parents near you or is it like a massive special occassion to get to see them? YES agree with your take on musk though! like it feels like idk, something a 50 year old with a cigar in a stuffy country club would wear? like, there's no energy to it but not in a chill mellow way either??! like even if i was going to a dinner thing I would still rather not wear something musky? like i'd still rather it be something a bit sweeter? also like some musk perfumes can be SO STRONG? like i'm like - my nose is choking on this perfume XD

YES BLUE MOON SQUAD AAAAA it is literally one of their finest ever, it's always stayed on my top faves list by them. like ugh yes to the lofi stuff sometimes i just wanna VIBE and be in my feels but not so much i'm too angsty but enough that I'm FEELING feels ya know? what did you think of kiss or death? it really wasn't that kind of vibe but yh i hope they do more lofi jazzy stuff - also cause like not a lot of korean groups play with that sound a lot?

hello mädch's mom as always! nerer apologise for being late, always just happy to hear from you and i hope you are super super well and looking after yourself first and foremost! more than anything <3 (also i take ages to reply too ya know and omg this is so so long ahsdjakhdaskjdh)

love you lots and lots and lots xxxxxxxxxxxx

ANGEL ANGEL !!!!!!!! <3 i know i'm really late to this LKDFJS i've had such a busy week getting some overtime in and then visiting my grandparents' house so i didn't really have a lot of energy to reply to all of this BUT IM HERE AND i can finally give u a good response <3

firstly is your family member okay??? i hope so ;____; how was the rest of your week, and how was your weekend angel? i hope u were able to enjoy your weekend and that everything is okay in the family <3

but YEAH my mom and i are over the stupid cold ;_____; i hate colds,,,, they last way too long lol like i say i know the flu is a little more serious than a cold but i would rather have it for a day or 2 than being stuck feeling lousy for a whole week :( ALSO SLDKFSJDFKLJ OH GOD SEE we are both hypochondriacs ( that's not the best trait to have as a nursing major lol ) but tbh i'm really curious about this rare disease ????? :o sounds really scary tho goodness gracious i wonder what it could be ;____;

also god i was always awful at staying up late as a kid LOL but i know what u mean !!!!!! honestly there was only one time i can recall i had a sleepover with my friend in like the 3rd grade and we tried pulling an all nighter so i think we made it to like 5am but i had to go to bed omg i felt like such garbage LKDSFJ </3 it's just funny bc like as u get older u realize that staying up late is really nothing special and if anything u feel like a train hit you the next morning and adults are so sleep deprived as it is we just *try* to prioritize sleep SLDKFJSDKLJF :') you worked a lot as a child bub?? what kind of things did you do? i didn't start working until i was 15 bc most places here don't allow u to work until this age (unless you're in a family business i guess lol) but all the jobs i had in high school i hated so much ;_____; but my childhood? i would say it was relatively normal LOL like we say all the time i've had a single mom so life was really stressful for her but i always felt loved <3 i always had my mom <3 and we took trips to the beach with my family every year, it was our little tradition !! i went to san diego to visit disney, you know little trips here and there !! and then when i got into my sport and i started getting older my mom and i spent a lot of time and money investing into my sport so most of my weekends consisted of a lot of tournaments and driving far away for me to compete :') i do remember when i was really young like in kindergarten my mom's work was really far away from my school and we had a recital ; i was the "host" where i would introduce all of the songs and stuff and my mom didn't get off of work until like 6 and by the time she made to my recital, it was over :( she told me she cried a lot that night :( i don't remember her doing this (i don't even remember the recital all that much lol) but now that i'm older and i understand more about adulting, i'm sure she was so devastated thinking about it now :( anyways about visiting europe LOL I WILL DEF GIVE U A CALL AND LET U KNOW SO U CAN SHOW ME ALL OF THE COOL PLACES <333333

and about the religion ....... yes ;____; i think it's a great thing if a family decide that they want to do this when they're families; i hope to continue to practice it (even tho we aren't regularly going to church at all hhhh gotta work on that) but there is something about catholic guilt specifically that just makes it soooo hard to like, be easy on yourself? but ,,,,,, i guess it keeps me grounded :( in a self depreciating way ??? LDSKFJ I KNOW U UNDERSTAND ... it's weird for me to put into words ;____; and YEAH :( i think i'm getting a little better at this but i used to apologize all the time for things i never needed to be sorry for hhhh (still do) :')

and yes babe honestly i'm really terrified to start uni :( i think i have this weird anxiety issue i've had it ever since last year but i don't know why i'm so scared and anxious about things that haven't even happened yet ;____; are u like this too? is it normal? i wish i knew :( i guess i won't really feel better until i have made it to graduation, but i just want to do well this year. whatever i do, whether it's exams, or clinical rotation or my preceptorship, i just want to do well ;____; i don't want to do poorly, i want to make my mom proud and i want to work at a place i'll be excited to work at, and most of all i just want everything to work out ,,,, i wish someone could just sit me down and say listen i know what you're going thru is hard but you CAN get thru this and EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS bc no one in my family is in the health sciences (besides my cousin who is studying to be a doctor but she doesn't give a shit about what i do lol) so ;_____; yeah ,,,,,,,,,,, lots of anxiety and apprehension of the unknown :(

LSDKFJSD FOKAY NOW I KNOW WHAT LAMPSHADING IS LMAOOOOOOOOOOO yes i wear those clothes on lazy days LOL the thing is i'm really picky about the length of my oversized crewneck sweaters hhhh the can't be too long bc if it goes below my butt i look like i'm wearing rags LOL so i have to be careful :') but most days i do like, reverse lamp shading lDLKFJSDLKFJ i like wearing flowy pants with a more tight top or like baggy jeans with a tighter shirt or a blouse i can tuck into my jeans LOL but omg its so funny i didn't know what that was :') thank u for the explanation my love <3

OKAY BUT HALF THE REASON I DIDN'T RESPOND IS THAT i was saving this weekend to go to the jo malone store in my mall and !!! I GOT A NEW SCENT AND I'M IN LOVE WITH IT SO MUCH BABE ;____; you have to go smell it if you go there soon and tell me what u think !!!!!! it's called wild bluebell (here is the scent description lol) but the guy behind the counter helping me was soooo amazing and helpful like they really do treat u the best at the store and AH i’m so happy with my purchase <3 my wallet isn’t so much LDSKFJ but nonetheless i know i’ll have it for a long time :)

KISS OR DEATH !!!!! i actually really enjoyed it lol i have seen some ppl not really like the rapping so much but i loved it ;____; i’m super biased obviously LOL but gosh i thought they were all great and minhyuk + hyungwon killed the song for me <333 wouldn’t expect anything less from our monstas !!!!! and my mom is sending her love lol i tell her the work u do and she’s always wondering how ur doing :(((( same for my moots she always asks me about 2 in particular LOL she’s always asking me <3 i love u so much bubbie !!!! iM SO SORRY FOR BEING LATE MY LOVE again i always just want to give u a quality response <3 i love u the absolute most and i hope u had a great weekend !!!!!!! this is my last week at work before i have a week long break before i head for uni so :’) can’t believe i’ve done all this LOL :’) i will be happy to hear from u whenever u come back hun !!!!! TAKE CARE LOVE U <3 

#asks #💥 anon #WE ARE WRITING NOVELS HERE BABE LOL !!!!

[dillislazii]

Time Doesn't Wait (A Kija x Yona one-shot)

\Angst/

Summary: Kija becomes aware of his feelings for Yona and tries to tell her.

_______

Kija had finally worked up the courage to confess. Confess to Yona. It was only recently that he had realized his feelings for the girl. He had probably realized it when she had smiled as she waved goodbye one day. It wasn't like she had never done this before; on the contrary: Kija walked with her after school everyday. And everyday they would part ways at Shizukesa— the street famous for the beautiful cherry blossom trees that seemed to swallow those passing by. That day, the trees were in full bloom, and as Yona turned to look back at Kija, she smiled (like she always did). It was then that a slight breeze rustled her raspberry-colored hair and the blossoms swayed gently all around her… almost swallowing her whole; but her hair was making that impossible. It contrasted the soft pinks in a defiant way. Her small lips curved into a smile that traced from side to side on her face. Her eyes closed, and Kija was glad. He didn't want Yona to see the alarmingly red veil that appeared over his face. He quickly turned around and hurried home.

Kija threw his backpack on the ground and collapsed, face first, onto his bed. Soon, realizing this was not the most comfortable position, he flipped over and faced the ceiling. His mind began wandering to her. He remembered certain times they were together… times that he never really thought were significant before… and plucked out snippets of Yona that made him tingle. Cute ones. Beautiful ones. Happy ones. The sad ones— they made his heart ache. Kija placed his arm over his face and groaned. Her smile from earlier that day popped into his mind’s eye and he swore his heart skipped a beat. The boy exhaled. Kija knew that he loved Yona, and he knew that he had loved her for a very long time; but what should he do with these feelings?

Two weeks had passed since then. Every day a nightmare for the boy. His emotions were constantly at war. He wanted to tell Yona. He really did, and every time Kija made up his mind to tell her, the thought of her rejecting him and crying because she didn't feel the same way but she didn't want to hurt him stopped him in his tracks. He would not be able to live with himself if he ever were the cause of her tears. Kija felt like yelling. Not actual words, but he just wanted to scream. What made him decide to finally tell her you ask? I think it was perhaps because of the talk that Jae ha had had with him. Jae ha was not stupid. He knew that Kija was in love with Yona before Kija did. But Jae ha wouldn't let this on directly. He pretended to be oblivious. However, he couldn't completely hold himself back. After all, he was Kija’s best friend… it was his duty to help and support him as much as he could.  “Kija,” Jae ha began slowly, “I wanted to tell you something.”  “Yes?” Kija sat up at the tone of his friend.  “Remember that time wont wait for you. Remember that time is impatient and that it will only give you a small window to do something. And… remember… when the window shuts, that you may regret your hesitancy.” There was a moment of thick silence.  “Hahaha! I was so poetic there!” Jae ha flicked the hair from his face and put on a smug smile. “I wonder if I could use my newfound power of poetry for the girls?” Kija looked down thoughtfully. He grabbed his jacket and hurriedly stood.  “Thanks, Jae ha,” was all he said before dashing off. The green-haired boy discarded his smile and watched as Kija disappeared down the school hallways.

Kija had to find Yona. He had to find her and spit out the words before they choked him. Finally, he spotted her thanks to her hair. She seemed flustered and was also hurrying from something or someone. Kija halted in her path. She stopped. Once the girl recognized Kija, her eyes lit up. Kija noticed a raging blush on her cheeks that almost rivaled her hair. He wondered what had brought it. Yona rushed toward him, grabbed his hand, and yanked him along.  “Come on, Kija! I have to tell you something!” Kija was both puzzled and excited. Perhaps… just maybe… Yona had similar feelings towards him and wanted to tell him. He bit down hard. Think rationally, he told himself, yet he still couldn't help the erratic beating of his heart. Soon, Yona stopped and so did Kija. Both breathed heavily. Kija didn't know why they ran so fast and why they stopped at this particular spot (the bottom of the staircase that led to the rooftop of the school); but he remembered his reason for wanting to speak with Yona. The boy straightened and said,  “Yona, I have something I want-”  “Kija!” She jerked her head up to look at him. Her face was sweaty, but still blushing.  “Y-yes?”  “I kissed Hak!” Kija’s legs grew weak suddenly. He didn't know how he was still standing. His heart, which had been wildly beating before, stilled. Kija imagined it shriveling up inside of him. His throat was dry.  “Wh-what?” It was a hoarse whisper. Yona nodded, not noticing how Kija’s face grew so pale so quickly.  “I-I wasn't thinking. I just reached up and kissed him. Then I ran away.” Kija tried to say something, but the words wouldn't come out. Yona went on: “Ha-Hak was laughing. I mean truly laughing with joy. Not the snarky laugh he does when making a jab as he does with you. I-I've never seen him that happy. Not for a while, at least. And… it made my heart burst. Two options came to my mind: running away before i could blush, or k-kiss him. And I didn't feel like running then. So I reached up and kissed him. And-” (the raging blush came back) “-and… I think he kissed me back!” Kija was really wondering how his legs still held him up. “But when I pulled away, there was this… confusion on his face. And I realized what I had done so I ran away.” She slapped her cheeks. “Ahhhh! I just- I'm-I don’t know what to think!” She leaned against the wall and slid down to a crouch. Kija followed her with his eyes. He didn't think he'd be able to stay on his feet if he changed his position from a stiff stand. What was it he wanted to tell Yona again? He felt cold suddenly and shivered. Yona noticed and said,  “Kija. Kija, What's wrong? Are you ok?” She stood up and placed a hand on his forehead. “You don’t have a fever or anything.” Kija blinked and looked at the short girl in front of him. He suddenly remembered what he was going to say to her. He imagined himself blurting it out right there. He imagined her shocked face. Then he imagined her tears.  “Kija.” The boy shook himself free from his small coma-like state.  “Ah, yes, I'm sorry. Hehe. Wow!” He bit his cheek in a care-free manner. A small blush came to his face. “I-I cant believe you… did that!” He hoped Yona didn't think of the blush as anything significant. She didn't. The girl passed it on as Kija being Kija. His light, innocent blushes occurred many times.  “I know! Agh! I dont know what's gonna happen between us now! Will we become a couple? No! Wait that's way too… no. Hehe! We just kissed! I mean, that doesn't mean anything right?” She paused. Her face fell. Kija quickly spoke:  “Erm, well, I don't think it doesnt mean anything.”  “Really?” Kija nodded. Yona smiled. She sprang up and hugged Kija.  “Thanks! I should get back to class! See you later!” She hurried away and Kija was left waving after her. His forced smile fell. There was no point of telling Yona now. Not only did she have feelings for Hak, but she only viewed Kija as a “friend.” He was the first person she told about the kiss, and, yes, that could have been because he was there, she could have run by him, and not grab his hand. Telling him, this meant that Yona viewed Kija as a friend. That was it. No one would tell someone you could have feelings for that they kissed someone else. That’s something you gossip about with your best friends. Kija smiled weakly and sighed. He put his hands in his pockets. The boy made his way to his next class.

Time passed, and it becomes official: Yona and Hak were dating. Everyone was excited for them. Lili showed the most excitement. When she found out, she jumped up and down, screaming, and hugged Yona. Shinah (Hak knew him better than anyone else at school, but Yona and the others considered themselves to be his friends too) was silent but he was smiling. That said more than any words could. Shinah was not very expressive. He answered with one-syllable words or just movements with his head. It wasn't that he had an attitude, just shy. Yoon said smugly,  “It was about time. I couldn't bare the pining anymore.” Of course, Kija did what he had done at the staircase on that day. Feigned a smile and stated how happy he was. He even engaged in Hak’s teasing, which looked normal… didn't it? Next came Jae ha’s reaction. He pretended to be the big brother. Telling Hak not to get to dirty with such a pure and innocent girl like Yona. Hak just responded with his fist. Jae ha patted Yona on the head before turning away. When he was out of sight from the rest, he gritted his teeth. Tch! Did no one else see it? Kija’s pain? Were they all really that blind? Jae ha was distraught… seeing his friend like this. So hurt, but bottling that hurt and shoving it down deep. The green-haired boy was angry. Angry at himself. He could have done something sooner. Angry at Kija. Didn't he know that bottling up all of those feelings would only destroy him sooner or later? Angry at… Yona… slightly. Why couldn't she see how Kija felt? He punched his locker. Why did it have to be like this?! Jae ha was so frustrated with everything he didn't notice the other students giving him weird looks… or he didn't care. It was most likely the latter.

About a week later, Jae ha was at Kija’s apartment. He hadn't hung out with him for a while and wanted to see how he was doing. When no answer came to his knock. Jae ha grew slightly alarmed. He grabbed the spare key where he knew it was hidden and unlocked the door. He called out Kija’s name. No answer. He checked the bed but his friend was not sleeping there. Jae ha’s steps grew quicker as he searched the small apartment. However, he soon found Kija. He had collapsed behind the kitchen counter and was leaning against the cupboards. Jae ha hurried to him, picked him up, and carried him to his bed. He was about to call an ambulance when he heard a moan from his friend. “Kija!” His eyes fluttered open. He looked confused. Jae ha forced a smile. “You scared me, bud. You look crappy.”  “I'm fine.” Kija sat up (it was very difficult). Jae ha made a fist.  “No, youre not!” he shouted. Kija was startled at this abrupt explosion. Jae ha laughed, though there was no amusement in it. It was a tight laugh. “Look at you! You're paler than ever.”  “You know my complexion is naturally-”  “Just shut up already!” Jae ha cut him off. “You need to stop! You're hurting! Please let me help you!” Jae ha was never fond of tears. But he couldn't stop himself from letting them fall.  “Kija, you're my friend!” His voice broke slightly at the word friend. “And seeing you like this hurts me.” There are bags under his eyes. He isn't sleeping. And he looks thinner than ever. Jae ha observed through his tears. Seeing Jae ha cry, shocked Kija, and before he knew it, he was sobbing. What shocked him even more, was when Jae ha hugged him. He was not crying as hard now, but his grip around Kija was tight. Kija shed more tears and buried his face into Jae ha.  “Thank you, J-Jae ha,” he choked out, still crying and trembling.

#akatsuki no yona #Akatsuki no Yona fic #yona x kija #yona x kija fic #Yona #yona of the dawn #hakuryuu kija #slightly jaeki #jae ha #dill decides to write???