#also bc me and another one are disabled we all get to skip the lines and it's v fun

[queridaz]

waiting for my friends who are on a theme park ride that makes me dizzy so i'm taking this time to write fanfiction

#my life is so funny #also bc me and another one are disabled we all get to skip the lines and it's v fun #tea talks

[jadedstar2]

It’s funny, but it’s not. How accurate tv shows, movies, books get it. I wonder how many of them were written by other Survivors.

I’m watching “MAID” with my roommate. Been watching it. It’s so good. So terribly accurate, so terribly validating. So good. It walks people through what it’s like, how it starts, what it looks like from the outside, if you don’t know the signs to look for. Or are too self-involved to notice them.

One thing I’ve learned from my own life patterns is that of Boundaries, and what not having them, not UNDERSTANDING them, can do to a person. Not knowing how to detach with love, not knowing how to jump in and try to save someone from themselves, how to fix things for other people, I could go on and on. Not realizing that it was killing me, and for what? These people never wanted to “see the light” or “get better.” I was a free maid to clean up their messes, and they didn’t have to change bc I was bearing their consequences.

And God forbid when I would see what was going on, AGAIN, and try to THEN put up boundaries. Or like…escape.

My latest “efforts” led to a literal hostage situation, not unlike what you see in episode 8 of the series. Sprinkle in some actual physical violence though. Or having food withheld from me. I deserved it though, right? The punishment? For trying to save myself for a change? Deciding that I wasn’t going to be used and manipulated and taken advantage of? I was selfish. I deserved it.

The worst part is, he really believed what he was saying.

The night I was sexually assaulted by him, his reasons were good ones. I didn’t want him taking the internet away - the modem and router that was under my name, and mine alone. It didn’t matter that he had a history of destroying property. I was “taking his power away” by trying to protect my credit that I had just built back up from the previous tyrant I threw my life away to.

Silver lining? Having a history of being assaulted teaches you a few life or death street smarts. That’s how I got away.

Everyone always says, “it could have been so much worse though.”

Read that again. That’s like someone saying that to you after you just lost your entire home to a fire. Yes, you’re right, I could have also gone up in flames, but how is that comforting when everything else did? I should be NOT sad bc of that?

Mind you, not once have I heard that kind of BS “comfort” from another actual survivor. Bc they know. They know that it was just one night of hell. Children usually start with hissy fits BEFORE they smash their toys.

Usually. This person, however, skipped straight to rape. I thought I had time bc he hadn’t given me a black eye yet.

Why did I have to get a black eye first? I couldn’t tell you. Other than the fact that I was waiting on a disability claim, couldn’t work, had no money, and he knew all of that. Yet he still spread rumors to my family, months in advance, just in case i revealed any secrets about the actual hell he was putting me through back then.

And why didn’t I back then? That’s a tale for another time. Just know that that is apparently also a trend for us. Staying silent that is. Until we can’t, until we are about to die or worse.

[dillydedalus]

january reading

why does january always feel like it’s 3 months long. anyway here’s what i read in january, feat. poison experts with ocd, ants in your brain, old bolsheviks getting purged, and mountweazels. 

city of lies, sam hawke (poison wars #1) this is a perfectly nice fantasy novel about jovan, who serves as essentially a secret guard against poisoning for his city state’s heir and is forced to step up when his uncle (also a secret poison guard) and the ruler are both killed by an unknown poison AND also the city is suddenly under a very creepy siege (are these events related? who knows!) this is all very fine & entertaining & there are some fun ideas, but also... the main character has ocd and SAME HAT SAME HAT. also like the idea of having a very important, secret and potentially fatal job that requires you to painstakingly test everything the ruler/heir is consuming WHILE HAVING OCD is like... such a deliciously sadistic concept. amazing. 3/5

my heart hemmed in, marie ndiaye (translated from french by jordan stump) a strange horror-ish tale in which two married teachers, bastions of upper-middle-class respectability and taste, suddenly find themselves utterly despised by everyone around them, escalating until the husband is seriously injured. through several very unexpected twists, it becomes clear that the couple’s own contempt for anyone not fitting into their world and especially nadia’s hostility and shame about her (implied to be northern african) ancestry is the reason for their pariah status. disturbing, surprising, FUCKED UP IF TRUE (looking back, i no longer really know what i mean by that). 4/5

xenogenesis trilogy (dawn/adulthood rites/imago), octavia e. butler octavia butler is incapable of writing anything uninteresting and while i don’t always completely vibe with her stuff, it’s always fascinating & thought-provoking. this series combines some of her favourite topics (genetic manipulation, alien/human reproduction, what is humanity) into a tale of an alien species, the oankali, saving some human survivors from the apocalypse and beginning a gene-trading project with them, integrating them into their reproductive system and creating mixed/’construct’ generations with traits from both species. and like, to me, this was uncomfortably into the biology = destiny thing & didn’t really question the oankali assertion that humans were genetically doomed to hierarchical behaviour & aggression (& also weirdly straight for a book about an alien species with 3 genders that engages in 5-partner-reproduction with humans), so that angle fell flat for me for the most part, altho i suppose i do agree that embracing change, even change that comes at a cost, is better than clinging to an unsustainable (& potentially destructive) purity. where i think the series is most interesting is in its exploration of consent and in how far consent is possible in extremely one-sided power dynamics (curiously, while the oankali condemn and seem to lack the human drive for hierarchy, they find it very easy to abuse their position of power & violate boundaries & never question the morality of this. in this, the first book, focusing on a human survivor first encountering the oankali and learning of their project, is the most interesting, as lilith as a human most explicitly struggles with her position - would her consent be meaningful? can she even consent when there is a kind of biochemical dependence between humans and their alien mates? the other two books, told from the perspectives of lilith’s constructed/mixed children, continue discussing themes of consent, autonomy and power dynamics, but i found them less interesting the further they moved from human perspectives. on the whole: 2.5/5

love & other thought experiments, sophie ward man, we love a pierre menard reference. anyway. this is a novel in stories, each based (loosely) on a thought experiment, about (loosely) a lesbian couple and their son arthur, illness and grief, parenthood, love, consciousness and perception, alternative universes, and having an ant in your brain. it is thoroughly delightful & clever, but goes for warmth and humanity (or ant-ity) over intellectual games (surprising given that it is all about thought experiments - but while they are a nice structuring device i don’t think they add all that much). i haven’t entirely worked out my feelings about the ending and it’s hard to discuss anyway given the twists and turns this takes, but it's a whole lot of fun. 4/5

a general theory of oblivion, josé eduardo agualusa (tr. from portuguese by daniel hahn) interesting little novel(la) set in angola during and after the struggle for independence, in which a portuguese woman, ludo, with extreme agoraphobia walls herself into her apartment to avoid the violence and chaos (but also just... bc she has agoraphobia) with a involving a bunch of much more active characters and how they are connected to her to various degrees. i didn’t like the sideplot quite as much as ludo’s isolation in her walled-in flat with her dog, catching pigeons on the balcony and writing on the walls. 3/5

cassandra at the wedding, dorothy baker phd student cassandra returns home attend (sabotage) her twin sister judith’s wedding to a young doctor whose name she refuses to remember, believing that her sister secretly wants out. cass is a mess, and as a shift to judith’s perspective reveals, definitely wrong about what judith wants and maybe a little delusional, but also a ridiculously compelling narrator, the brilliant but troubled contrast to judith’s safer conventionality. on the whole, cassandra’s narrative voice is the strongest feature of a book i otherwise found a bit slow & a bit heavy on the quirky family. fav line is when cass, post-character-development, plans to “take a quick look at [her] dumb thesis and see if it might lead to something less smooth and more revolting, or at least satisfying more than the requirements of the University”. 3/5

the office of historical corrections, danielle evans a very solid collection of realist short stories (+ the titular novella), mainly dealing with racism, (black) womanhood, relationships between women, and anticolonial/antiracist historiography. while i thought all the stories were well-done and none stood out as weak or an unnecessary inclusion, there also weren’t any that really stood out to me. 3/5

sonnenfinsternis, arthur koestler (english title: darkness at noon) (audio) you know what’s cool about this book? when i added it to my goodreads tbr in 2012, i would have had to read it in translation as the german original was lost during koestler’s escape from the nazis, but since then, the original has been rediscovered and republished. yet another proof that leaving books on your tbr for ages is a good thing actually. anyway. this is a story about the stalinist purges, told thru old bolshevik rubashov, who, after serving the Party loyally for years & doing his fair share of selling people out for the Party, is arrested for ~oppositional activities. in jail and during his interrogations, rubashov reflects on the course the Party has taken and his own part (and guilt) in that, and the way totalitarianism has eaten up and poisoned even the most commendable ideals the Party once held (and still holds?), the course of history and at what point the end no longer justifies the means. it’s brilliant, rubashov is brilliant and despicable, i’m very happy it was rediscovered. 5/5

heads of the colored people, nafissa thompson-spires another really solid short story collection, also focused on the experiences of black people in america (particularly the black upper-middle class), black womanhood and black relationships, altho with a somewhat more satirical tone than danielle evans’s collection. standouts for me were the story in letters between the mothers of the only black girls at a private school, a story about a family of fruitarians, and a story about a girl who fetishises her disabled boyfriend(s). 3.5/5

pedro páramo, juan rulfo (gernan transl. by dagmar ploetz) mexican classic about a rich and abusive landowner (the titular pedro paramo) and the ghost town he leaves behind - quite literally, as, when his son tries to find his father, the town is full of people, quite ready to talk shit about pedro, but they are all dead. it’s an interesting setting with occasionally vivid writing, but the skips in time and character were kind of confusing and i lost my place a lot. i’d be interested in reading rulfo’s other major work, el llano en llamas. 2.5/5

verse für zeitgenossen, mascha kaléko short collection of the poems kaléko, a jewish german poet, wrote while in exile in the united states in the 30-40s, as well as some poems written after the end of ww2. kaléko’s voice is witty, but at turns also melancholy or satirical. as expected i preferred the pieces that directly addressed the experience of exile (”sozusagen ein mailied” is one of my favourite exillyrik pieces). 3/5

the harpy, megan hunter yeah this was boooooooring. the cover is really cool & the premise sounded intriguing (women gets cheated on, makes deal with husband that she is allowed to hurt him three times in revenge, women is also obsessed with harpies: female revenge & female monsters is my jam) but it’s literally so dull & trying so hard to be deep. 1.5/5

the liar’s dictionary, eley williams this is such a delightful book, from the design (those marbled endpapers? yes) to the preface (all about what a dictionary is/could be), to the chapter headings (A-Z words, mostly relating to lies, dishonesty, etc in some way or another, containing at least one fictitious entry), to the dual plots (intern at new edition of a dictionary in contemporary england checking the incomplete old dictionary for mountweazels vs 1899 london with the guy putting the mountweazels in), to williams’s clear joy about words and playing with them. there were so many lines that made me think about how to translate them, which is always a fun exercise. 3.5/5

catherine the great & the small, olja knežević (tr. from montenegrin by ellen elias-bursać, paula gordon) coming-of-age-ish novel about katarina from montenegro, who grows up in  titograd/podgorica and belgrad in the 70s/80s, eventually moving to london as an adult. to be honest while there are some interesting aspects in how this portrays yugoslavia and conflicts between the different parts of yugoslavia, i mostly found this a pretty sloggy slog of misery without much to emotionally connect to, which is sad bc i was p excited for it :(. 2/5

the decameron project: 29 new stories from the pandemic, anthology a collection of short stories written during covid lockdown (and mostly about covid/lockdown in some way). they got a bunch of cool authors, including margaret atwood, edwidge danticat, rachel kushner ... it’s an interesting project and the stories are mostly pretty good, but there wasn’t one that really stood out to me as amazing. i also kinda wish more of the stories had diverged more from covid/lockdown thematically bc it got a lil repetitive tbh. 2/5

#the books i read #long post #sonnenfinsternis is so good the audiobook nearly made me cry in the supermarket

[lightspren]

Year End 2017 Wrap Up

I’m gonna be straight up honest with y’all, I almost didn’t do one of these for this year because this year has sucked horrifically and I just didn’t see a fucking point. But I’ve done one every year for like, at least four years now, and it’s tradition, and I for some reason feel it’s important, so by damn I’m gonna look back on my text posts from the year and my memories of what I was doing and see what happened this past year.

Jan 2017 - Was beginning my last ever semester of undergrad this month. At this point I still thought I’d be going to grad school hahahah so much can fucking change in a few months. Started my AC sideblog so that’s cool. and even this far back (: we still see me struggling with debilitating pain (: which has been a trend ever since I’ve been doing these year summaries I think, is seeing how bad my pain was throughout the year. jfc. looks like I was struggling with some depression symptoms here too, go fucking figure. I had an interview for grad school too and we know how badly that went…

Feb - Here’s where I decided I thought i might be on the autism spectrum. I now think I was wrong on that self dx, but you know, journeys of self discovery are important and all that. but here’s lots more pain and tired and “brain not working” which was lots of depression symptoms I believe, sigh I let that get bad for a while there. Oh and then I learned I didn’t get into that grad school I got the interview for.  so yeah that was Feb in a nutshell l o l

Mar - Breath of the Wild came out this month and dominated my life for a month or two, I still love this game very much and it’ll always hold a special place in my heart, ti’s just so good and sweet and lovely. I still haven’t even really beat it LOL and I need to but. still. that’s never been the most important part of Zelda games to me. OOO THO I had beginnings of existential crises this month!! cause I was getting so bogged down in my thesis research and didn’t know if research was what I wanted to do forever and ever anymore!! isn’t that fun!! (it was not fun). but the rest of this month seems like. a whole lot of bitching about pain. paaaain pain pain. like holy jesus bitching about pain. maybe if I printed off all these posts and gave them to my doctors they’d believe I have a problem LOL.

Apr - So I had shitty dr appointments that further hurt my chronic illness identity, and then other Ongoing Identity Crisis because of not getting into grad school and wanting a job in which I could help people. this is the month I in earnest started applying for jobs; research tech jobs mostly, but some adjacent jobs too (don’t remember what exactly). I didn’t branch out very far at this point though cause I was still McFuckin Terrified. and then I realized that I didn’t want to leave hundreds of miles away for work, cause as much as a lot of the culture of southern Appalachia can suck sometimes, it’s still home, /my/ home, and I don’t want to abandon it. I know I freaked out a lot about getting my thesis done and presented this month too bc I was soooOooOOoO unmotivated to do that shit LOL like. whew. did not want to, did not care any longer, but still had to do it.

May - GOT MY FIRST EVER TICKET LOL THAT FUCKING SUCKED SO BAD. sigh. otherwise I was mostly vague as SHIT with stuff this month. I know I graduated, didn’t walk though cause I could not give less of a fuck at that point. I applied for every job I could find that I remotely qualified for that was close enough I was willing to move to. I even had a Skype interview for one, either this month or in April. it fell through, of course.

Jun - One of my very first June posts is “who the fuck am I/how do I become who I want to be” LOL so that identity crisis was still rip roaring obvs. then that time when I tried to explain disability stigma to one of my previous (cishet white male) bosses. Had another phone interview this month for another job I didn’t get lmfao. Pretty sure this is the month where I started applying for mental health case management jobs, like a bunch of them, at different locations all in the company I’m currently in.

July - So I think it must have been around the beginning of this month that I had my first in person interview? I bombed that one hardcore. didn’t stop another location from interviewing me though, and I got a second interview with them, which I then proceeded to fail because I had no prior experience. It was brutal LOL. and the new person started at my old job, and I had to start training her, and that whole situation was just awkward and weird and Undesirable. to the maaax. it was this whole ordeal too where they’d scheduled my last day to be the 28th of July, so that’s what I was planning on and like, focused on… but then it turned out my coworker got national guard orders and had to be gone two months, so instead of having newbie there by herself, they were like (to me) “hey… just wanna… chill for two months longer or until you find a job…” which was admittedly hella cool of them.

Aug - Lots of blogging about pain, lots of general vagueblogging. I did announce publicly on tumblr that I’m intending to convert to Judaism so that’s still cool, and still a thing, even if life has been repeatedly crotch-punching me so I haven’t been able to make much actual progress on it. but then, I had the interview for my current job. that i somehow passed with flying colors. And my asthma started getting worse, and I started getting soooooo so done with my old IT job, but I /got my new job/. ALSO THIS MONTH WE GOT RADS MY SWEET NEW BABY so now our family is made of me, my husband, and two kitties.

Sept - September. Oh, September. started out so innocently, with starting orientation for my new job. I was all starry eyed and hopeful for the new job because I thought that it was a perfect home for me. then I got there. started doing things. realized that I was terrified of trying to meet my new coworkers and learn their dynamics. realized I was terrified of trying to meet my new supervisors/superiors and learn their expectations. realized that in general I just didn’t know the culture of the place at all and that fucking /terrified/ me. and then the job itself, the job itself was something I’d never done before, had no experience in /whatsoever/, had no FUCKING clue what I was doing. I was a fish out of water with no bloody idea where I was going, and hoooboy. I almost quit by the end of September, I truly did.

Oct - tw: miscarriage at end of month I started therapy for my anxiety!!! yay!!!! I had a lot of adapting to work in this time too that I didn’t really talk much about on tumblr too I think. I mean I was learning a lot, I was meeting more of my clients, some even time. I was still terrified, especially of my other coworkers because I didn’t know them or understand them, but even at that, I was learning. [Stop reading if you need to avoid tw miscarriage and skip to Nov.] The other horrifically sucky thing to happen in Oct happened not to me, but to my sister. She’d found out a few months perviously that she was pregnant, at 37 years old. they’d just recently gotten all the genetic testings back and found out they were going to have a girl. unfortunately though, the baby stopped developing at 15w. my sister discovered this at what would’ve been 17w. she had to have surgery to remove the baby. she’s still recovering from this trauma, she’s heartbroken and just. very upset. I’m still upset for her too.

Nov - Last month I was doing ok I think. I was doing pretty well at work, kinda just coasting along but mostly getting the hang of things. Therapy had been helping I think; it’d been teaching me somethings, mostly only small differences but I think having someone to talk to had been helping frankly. Work was going well, and we’d decided to start looking for a house to /buy/ (realtor.com) but hadn’t hired a realtor yet. probably for the best. as it turns out now…

Dec - Fuck you, December. the good news is, my new job’s health insurance kicked in Dec. 1st. which is great, considering I got admitted to the hospital  Dec. 7th, a Thursday. the Monday prior I’d tried to pop a zit, no big deal. WRONG. it got infected. not just any old infection, though, oh no. FUCKING MRSA. so I got cellulitis in my face, my whole right side of my face swelled up three times the normal, I got MRSA/pneumonia in my lungs, I had MRSA in my bloodstream. when I came in the ER I had very low blood pressure and heartrate of 130, so I was septic. like. shit was going down. I stayed in the hospital 6 days, and they released me with a PICC line and having to do vancomycin (really strong IV antibiotic) twice a day via the line. I went back to work too early for two days, but saw my PCP on the third day and he put me off that again. /Then the chest pain started/. I assumed it was a side effect of the vancomycin, since back and chest spasms/pain are a listed side effect, but NO, apparently NOT, at least not to this DEGREE. The home health pharmacy, who I called to ask about it, called the on-call at my PCP, who advised to go to the ER to get checked for a “pulmonary embolism.” Doesn’t sound scary at aaaaaaaaaall. Get in ER, go through the whole terrifying ordeal, CT scan, x-ray, shit and shebang - what do you fucking know. I have a septic embolism. very rare. much wow. fuck me. so here I am, once again, in a fucking hospital room, tied up to IV antibiotics, at the end of Christmas day. At least they’re keeping the pain meds going now. Oh at one point my kidney function tried to drop, then it turned out I had a pleural effusion so they drained 550cc (half a liter) of fluid off my lungs (painful as fuck let me tell you). Ended up spedning 5 days total in the hospital, home now, but still in like. the same amount of pain as when I went in. Having to fight with so many things to get medicines sorted and shit. while feeling like shit too. everything is awesome.

So that’s it. 2017. That doesn’t even get into the way 2017 has sucked on a global, non-personal scale, that’s just how it’s sucked on a mostly-immediately-personal scale, and I’ve even left out some of the immediately personal ones I think. and that’s just the shit I remember LOL jesus christ. I really need to do an effigy burning of this year.

#kit being stupid #happy new year #year end 2017

[auideas]

Ask the Admins 13.0

anon asked: For any of the admins! I’m not sure if this was asked previously, so I apologize in advance. But what's everyone’s favorite au / prompt? (Also thank you guys for starting this blog, im forever grateful this exists)

Chamomile: awww! I’m grateful that this blog exists too (lol). My current favorite type of au’s are murder mystery au’s because of the Rabbit Doubt writing group I’m in so like, expect so many of those coming up soon. I’m also really digging superhero au’s.

M: I’m a fan of the whole “kidnapping / assassin / mob / killer” sort of a trope for some reason - it’s loads of fun to try and mess with original tropes and make them ridiculous, funny, modern, etc.!

Jynn: My fave AUs are ones that incorporate real life twists on typical AUs, like including people with disabilities.

@tomorraw​ asked: How many of you guys are there? Do certain people answer in certain genre? Or does everyone write what they are given? How did you guys meet? (Btw, this is one of my favorite idea blogs. They are so many different views on different ideas and so many genres.)

Chamomile: Currently there’s four of us! I know admin m and admin jynn from a loooong while back -- like two years back. Admin jynn and I go back to our homestuck roots (love her for that) and we’ve stuck together ever since. We all just kind of write whatever floats our boats! M: I met both Jynn and Chamomile through working on the Night Unvaled, which is a Night Vale Fancast that we wrote and produced. We’ve been friends ever since!! As for the certain genre thing, I can’t really say that we all write solely one genre, but we all certainly have our specialties!! Jynn: We have a posting schedule for who posts what when, but when it comes lists we all just take what interests us. Chamomile and I met more than two years back… in a Homestuck role play. Shortly after, we met M in a podcast project we were all working on and we've all be friends since!

Anon asked: what are some of your favorite tropes?

Chamomile: does “I love the way that you understand me and make me feel like I’m the only person in the world when you pay attention to me” count as a troupe? Like an OTP troupe? Bc that’s my ultimate favorite.

M: My favorite trope is messing with tropes. Best thing.

Jynn: “Flaws” turning out to work to someone's advantage!

Anon asked: What is pastel/punk or pastel and punk? I don't get it and google isn't explaining it to me because it's a meany

Chamomile: I remember this AU! It was an AU Friday list that I did and loved doing it! Basically, there’s  ‘pastel’ aesthetic which is very like, cutesy baby pink and pastel blues and other ‘soft’ colors being worn with other ‘soft’ aesthetic items like, glitter or hair clips or oversized sweaters ands stuff like that. Then there’s punk aesthetic, which very like, ‘heck all of you, I want to be comfortable and show that I’m rebelling against the social/political norms’. It can vary from person to person, so it might be better just to google ‘punk fashion’. The whole tag is supposed to be sort of an ‘opposite attract’ type deal.

Anon asked: So in regards to the color au in which you only see color once you touch your soulmate: what if you were born blind? Or when you touch your soulmate, it turns out that you are colorblind?

Chamomile: mmmmmm I’m not a fan of this AU bc of reasons I’m too longwinded about. Skipping this question for me.

M: I guess it’s possible and would make for quite the interesting change in AUs from the usual soulmate trope, but make sure you’re careful when it comes to writing AUs about topics you’re not personally familiar with (such as being blind), but go for it!

Jynn: Idk about it. Lmao I'm picky as heck when it comes to soulmate AUs, and this one has the potential to be interesting but never “stuck out” to me.

Anon asked: hi there! i'm new {ish}, and i've been looking thru ur old posts. i think it's really cool how u help ur followers, school related or not. out of curiosity tho, who is the person who according to that school survey watched so much anime? if u have time, would u mind asking?

Chamomile: Anon I want to know too like, please, show yourself.

M: We support you. Maybe. For the most part.

Jynn: Show ya self ur among friends. I too have consumed too much anime.

Anon asked: Just wanted to say I love your blog. It gives me inspiration! :)

Chamomile: Aaaaa! Thank you <3

M: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jynn: Awwwww!

Anon asked: just poppin in to ask if its okay for us writers to adopt these aus? and claim the whole plot as ours but still credit the bunnies (ie linking it to this acc)? thanks for clarifying!

Chamomile: Totally! We completely encourage it because it brings more people to the blog and also, we get a lot of satisfaction from seeing people enjoy our prompts! Here’s a link on how to cite our au’s: link

Anon asked: omfg, i still think the admins are gorgeous. like f***, you are cute.

Chamomile: Bless your heart, thank you! We really should update what we look like...

M: OKAY YEAH WE SHOULD PUT OUT UPDATE PICS!!!!!! BUT THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!

Jynn: :o ! Thx!

@genosha-meiuqer asked: Weird question. If you woke up one morning and realized you could grow a beard made out of cotton candy, how happy would you be on a scale of 1-10; one being not happy, and ten being extremely happy.

Chamomile: Genosha, I would be so hype, you wouldn’t understand. Like a 10/10. Even if I did get tired of my new cool cotton candy beard like?? I can just wash it off?? Because cotton candy is water soluble?? I see no problems here?? 

M: maybe a 2. Too sticky.

Jynn: 7/10. Might get sticky and tedious (and I work in and pool so it'd probably get in the water) but endless free cotton candy? Yes.

Anon asked: Deadpool 2 boyfriend? yes or no?

Chamomile: consider this….boyfriend….and girlfriend…..dating both at the same time….

M: yus

Jynn: Yes on boyfriend but NOT at the expense of a lady characters story ending badly.

Anon asked: what's your dream job?

Chamomile: whatever makes me happy? Right now I’m happy serving coffee and doing odd writer jobs in exchange for gift cards (#hit me up y’all), but in the future I might want something different so like, it depends as I grow!

M: Creative Producer in Hollywood!!

Jynn: Aaaa I wanna work in entertainment. Running tech, performing, whatever. Gotta be near that world.

Anon asked: Are you a part of any fandoms? Which ones?

Chamomile: oh jeeze well uhhhhh -- I still hold homestuck dear to my heart, but I’ve mostly moved into podcasts (SAYER, The Adventure Zone, WTNV, Carpe DM) and a lot of like, writing niche groups with my friends? If I can count those as ‘small fandoms’.

M: soooooo many: Nightvale, Merlin, Doctor Who, Supernatural, Harry Potter, Game of Thrones, etc. Too many.

Jynn: Still Homestuck like Chamomile. Various Nexflix series: Voltron, Stranger Things. Miraculous Ladybug too. Lots of Max Fun and Night Vale Presents podcasts, McElroy products. I work about 60 hours and week so I like things I can listen to while doing other things.

Anon asked: If you were a dragon, what would you hoard?

Chamomile:....scraps of paper. I have so many. I write down AU ideas and story lines on them and then just like, shove them into my bags and pockets and forget about them.

M: pens. so many pens.

Jynn: Useless cute stuff/LUSH products/stim toys probably.

Anon asked: M, did you draw the illustrations in your piece "The Beacon"?

M: I made it in photoshop, yeah! If anyone is curious, here’s the link to the fic (https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BxP7qW60hE6fUmdSWDJMNHBhRGs/view?usp=sharing). The first draft was written by Admin Chamomile for a speed write but adapted and extended by Admin M just for fun. Go for it and read it if you’d like!!

(Chamomile: just gonna….slide this first draft right here….shhhhhh)

Anon asked: How long would you survive in a zombie apocalypse?

Chamomile: hopefully until humanity can find the cure, lmao

M: maybe a month. maybe.

Jynn: Mmmmm no.

Anon asked: Which Never Book quote is your favorite?

Chamomile: “What were you thinking in that last moment between life and oblivion?” Jynn: “So you take another hit, and sick into a whiskey flavored kiss because he’s not there to tell you no.”

Anon asked: Unicorn or Pegasus?

Chamomile: Unicorn! No real reason why. M: Pegasus. Fly bitches. Jynn: Pegasus is more utilitarian.

Anon asked: this is probably too late for ata, but have you ever wanted to write a piece where the characters are southern but you don't know how to write their drawl or accent or dialect? (currently going thru this for the walking dead)

Chamomile: This sounds like a really interesting “How Do I Write” segment soooooo check back on Thursday ;D 

M: ^^^^^^^^^^

Jynn: Not this specific situation. I live in Missouri so I know well how they talk lmao. I have run into something similar with an Irish character though, lots of research!!

#ask the admins #faq #admin jynn #admin m #the admin chamomile #admin syren is absent so we'll have us all together for the next one!

[not-a-realexchangeblog]

Eurovision 2016 vs. 2017

Ok I know I’m already a little extra about Eurovision, but I really wanted to make this comparison between last year’s entries vs this year’s, mostly to organize my thoughts about the 2017 contest. Eurovision mutuals feel free to hmu with your opinions! (my top out of the 2016 and 2017 entries for each country will be bolded) (Also I stole this idea from @eurosong )

Albania: Fairytale vs World

Alright I think we can all agree that both of these songs should’ve skipped the Albanian to English revamp. Both were pretty mediocre in English, but I think I can get behind Lindita as being the better vocalist here. 

Armenia: LoveWave vs Fly with Me 

Will Fly with Me make any of my Spotify playlists? No probably not. But I have to appreciate Armenia’s attempt to produce an entry that honors both Armenian and East Asian cultural elements. It’s going to be one of the more interesting acts in Kyiv that’s for sure. 

Australia: Sound of Silence vs Don’t Come Easy

This decision was pretty easy, and not because I was a fan of Dami or her act. Don’t Come Easy is ridiculously bland and just makes me kind of sad watching it.

Austria: Loin d’ici vs Running on Air

Good thing we can count on Austria for songs with cutesy lyrics that don’t cut deep in any way whatsoever. Running on Air however is considerably less repetitive than Loin d’ici. Though I wanted to like Loin d’ici for the sole fact it was in French, the children’s book-esque staging and lyrics left me bitter it made it to the finals. 

Azerbaijan: Miracle vs Skeletons

Ok so I originally really liked the video for Miracle and had Samra easily in my top 10. Then she performed it live at the semis and made me want to put my ears out of their misery- one of my biggest ESC 2016 disappointments. If Dihaj can sing Skeletons live better than my cat could, it’s the clear winner of the two. 

Belarus: Help you fly vs Historyja majgo zyccia

The most clear choice I made on this entire list. To me Naviband brings such a modern folk feel to Eurovision that we haven’t seen from anyone else this year and their use of Belarusian saved Slavic language from extinction in the contest. Maybe if ESC had approved Ivan’s live wolves last year I would’ve felt more nostalgic towards his act too? 

Belgium: What’s the pressure vs City Lights

City Lights hands down. Belgium decided in one year that they decided to advance 4 decades in musical style. I guess what was cringiest about What’s the Pressure to me was that it couldn’t quite decide what era it belonged to. If you’re going to bring disco garbage to Eurovision at least commit to it. 

Bulgaria: If love was a crime vs Beautiful Mess

Honestly, If Love was a Crime’s performance in the finals shocked me. I think its upbeat style was superior to Bulgaria’s entry this year, though I have to admit I wasn’t a fan. Possibly because it took me 6 months to  figure out that she was saying  дай ми любовта in Bulgarian as opposed to incomprehensible English.

Croatia: Lighthouse vs My Friend

Feel like I’m comparing apples to oranges here, but for me the bronchitis, hair and wardrobe disaster edges out the Italian opera/English pop worst of both worlds act. 

Cyprus: Alter Ego vs Gravity

Not gonna lie, I still listen to Alter Ego. Back in 2016 I knew it wasn’t the style for Eurovision, but at least it was ORIGINAL. Gravity isn’t as bad as the Youtube comments would suggest, but it’s definitely a step back for Cyprus when it comes to originality. 

Czechia: I Stand vs My Turn

Both are garbage. But props to Czechia for finally qualifying. 

Denmark: Soldiers of Love vs Where I Am

A bit of a hard choice. I’m always down for a boy band though, and to me, Lighthouse X beats out the screecher from Down Under. 

Estonia: Play vs Verona

Unpopular opinion: Juri wasn’t ripped off. Though I didn’t want him in the grand finals, he’s still better than the toxic duo Estonia promoted this year. 

Finland: Sing it away vs Blackbird

At least Sing it Away was fun ?  Finland is not performing to the best of their potential. Regardless of whether Blackbird’s “staging is amazing”, its lack of climax and generally disappointing vocals will 100% keep it in the semis. 

France: J’ai cherché vs Requiem

Frankly both are incredible and Eurovision is one of the only things I love about France. (Requiem would’ve been my winner had it not been for the English chorus no one asked for)

Georgia: Midnight Gold vs Keep the Faith

Unpopular opinion #2: Keep the Faith is in my Top 3 for 2017. I really do not understand the hate Tako gets- I think her song has an amazing message and outstanding vocals (that will hopefully be a little less screechy in the semis). When this song inevitabley does not qualify for the finals, I will lose hope in ESC. 

Germany: Ghost vs Perfect Life

Unpopular opinion #57584948: I vibed with Ghost. Is it my proudest confession? nope. Perfect Life SCREAMS Black Smoke 2015 and we know how that went. 

Greece: Utopian Land vs This is Love

Utopian Land was gross, but its one saving grace was the Greek lyrics. This is Love sounds like it came off the credits of a live action Disney film that flopped hard. That being said, I’m not buying Greece’s “safe” selection to get back into the finals this year. 

Hungary: Pioneer vs Origo

I’m convinced that if I had smoked 5 packs a day and hit the gyms leading up to Eurovision 2016, I could’ve out-performed Freddie. Origo isn’t exactly the shining beacon of Eurovision multilingualism for me, but the Balkan musical elements help detract from the awkward voice and rap. 

Iceland: Here them calling vs Paper 

Here them calling didn’t deserve the finals and neither does Paper. Paper’s lyrics are not “deep” “next level” or “misunderstood”, there were way better lyrics to be written to speak up about emotional health. trust me. 

Ireland: Sunlight vs Dying to Try

Honestly I don’t care enough to take a strong stance. I don’t know how Ireland did it in the 90′s because now they are ~Forgettable~

Israel: Made of Stars vs I Feel Alive 

I loved Hovi. His song and vocal abilities were incredible. Personally would’ve ditched the unnecessary ring prop/backup dancers that killed the live performance. Israel is another country that rarely fails me at Eurovision, and I’m excited for Imri Ziv this year. 

Italy: No degree of separation vs Occidentali’s Karma

No Degree of Separation was one of the songs that gradually grew on me last year and I was rooting for Francesca in the finals. Her nervous stage presence is what puts Occidentali’s Karma on top for me. Occidentali’s Karma really embodies the spirit of Eurovision this year, but I’m curious to see how Francesco deals with the clunky verse two black hole. 

Latvia: Heartbeat vs Line 

Didn’t think Heartbeat deserved the finals last year but it sure as hell deserved it more than Line does. Line is not cool creepy, it’s just creepy. I’m predicting another sub-par year for the Baltics. 

Lithuania: I’ve been waiting for this night vs Rain of Revolution 

Despite my apathy towards the Baltic countries, Donny was by far the act that grew on me the most last year. I might’ve reluctantly subjected myself to I’ve Been Waiting for This Night only a handful of times before the finals, but I must admit I’ve listened to it since. 12 points from me for the flip on stage. 

Macedonia: Dona vs Dance Alone 

KALIOPI IS MY QUEEN AND I CRIED WHEN EUROPE CRUSHED HER HOPES AND DREAMS

Malta: Walk on water vs Breathlessly 

Props for performing Walk on Water while prego? Also, Breathlessly is arguably the most boring ballad of 2017

Moldova: Falling Stars vs Hey, Mamma! 

The only redeeming quality of Hey, Momma! is that Epic Sax Guy is back. Luckily, that’s one more redeeming quality than Moldova’s last entry had. 

Montenegro: The Real Thing vs Space  

I refuse to even rank these because both are total shit and Montenegro should go back to producing cultural gems or just drop out of Eurovision. 

Netherlands: Slow down vs Lights and Shadows  

Have to go with Douwe Bob on this one. Slow Down was one of my favorites all of last year and The Netherlands have proven that country can work at Eurovision. Lights and Shadows could rival it for me, but this depends a lot on the staging and live performance (I wasn’t a fan of the artistic choices made in the video). 

Norway: Icebreaker vs Grab the Moment  

Not sure how I feel about the bridge to Grab the Moment, but almost anything is better than Icebreaker. 

Poland: Color of your life vs Flashlight  

Polish Jesus brought life to Eurovision last year and I am forever grateful. Flashlight is another boring balad but will do well bc Poland. 

Portugal: Há um mar que nos separa vs Amar pelos dois

My buddy Salvador got lucky here because although I enjoy the song, his stage presence is by far the most uncomfortable I’ve seen. I’ll probably close my eyes for the semis. 

Romania: Moment of Silence vs Yodel It!  

1. Romania’s disqualification last year was a tragedy 2. No one asked for Rap/Yodel fusion and it’s as shitty as it sounds

Russia: You are the only one vs Flame Is Burning  

Glad Russia viewed using a disabled person as a shield against booing as higher of a priority than sending another quality act this year  

San Marino: I didn’t know vs Spirit of the Night  

At least Serhat was bad in an endearing kind of way. San Marino needs to stick with the ironically awful acts. 

Serbia: Shelter vs In Too Deep  

Shelter is the superior performance here, but I’m still waiting for another Marija Serifovic

Slovenia: Blue and red vs On My Way  

I’ll take the Slovenian Taylor Swift knockoff over the Sloevnian sexual predator any day. I’m also ashamed to be Slovenian. 

Spain: Say yay! vs Do It for Your Lover

 Do It for Your Lover is bad but not

that

bad. Say Yay! hurt my ears right at the first chorus. An entirely Spanish entry would be my preference, but apparently the Spanish jury doesn’t feel the same way. 

Sweden: If I were sorry vs I Can’t Go On

I guess I never got hit by the Frans train last year. Sweden sends the most basic, mainstream songs to Eurovision year after year and somehow does well. These two songs are no exception. 

Switzerland: Last of our kind vs Apollo  

Anything over Last of our Kind and whatever the hell her dance was. On the other hand, maybe it was the kind of comedic relief we need out of Eurovision. I’m personally not a fan of Apollo but I think it will probably do well. 

Ukraine:1944 vs Time

Hard choice, but in the end, 1944 was a winner. I was a huge fan of 1944 all the way (mostly because of the Tatar) but I am also a fan of Time. In a year with so many ballads (both good and bad), Time will certainly stick out and I wish them the best. 

United Kingdom:You’re not alone vs Never Give Up on You

You’re Not Alone was at least cute and cheesy. Never GIve Up on You is only a cheesy and fake ballad. Both songs manage to get stuck in your head, but not necessarily in a good way. 

#eurovision #eurovision2017 #eurovision2016 #esc #esc2016 #esc2017 #music #singing #ukraine #france #israel #russia #etc

[nancy-dc]

Lyon, France’s third biggest city after Paris and Marseille. It’s a city with lots of history, its lands are inhabited since a very long time starting from a Roman settlement back in the BC period. You can tell by the well-preserved Roman heritage that we are still able to see and walk on to. Lyon is indeed a UNESCO heritage site and its historical and architectural landmarks are internationally well-known.

Although Lyon is a big city – for French standards – it still maintains a human dimension and it’s very easy to visit it by walking or cycling even in just a couple of days. I think 3-4 days are optimal to see it extensively without rushing from a place to another.

So just skip the hassle of hours of researching and follow this guide to enjoy the unique architecture you can find in Lyon.

The city develops between and around two rivers, the Rhône and the Saône. I would divide it in four main parts for what concerns urbanism and architecture:

Confluence, where you can find modern buildings and contemporary developments;

Presqu’île, the historical heart of the city in which the Roman, Medieval and Renaissance periods blend together;

the hills of Fourvière and Vieux Lyon, the ancient Roman settlement and the Renaissance district;

Part-Dieu, the business centre in which the highest towers are located.

MUSÉE DES CONFLUENCES |COOP HIMMELB(L)AU|

Musée des Confluences is the newly completed (2014) museum designed by the Austrian architecture firm Coop Himmelb(l)au. It’s a science center and anthropology museum that showcases scientific human achievements of the last centuries. Following the Deconstructivist approach the iconic building creates a new geometry which is the result of a combination of irregular shapes and protruding elements. The interior spaces are connected by a sinuous bridge-like structure twisting around a conical steel and glass part of the roof. The structure is made of three main parts, called The Crystal, The Cloud and The Plinth; they respectively divide the exhibition spaces, the public entrance foyer and the auditoriums. This is a good example of fragmentation of the ordinary box; the manipulation of each surface turns the entire structure into a new form and shape that gives the feeling of controlled chaos.

Musée des Confluences

COOP HIMMELB(L)AU

86 Quai Perrache, 69002 Lyon

EURONEWS HD |JACOB + MACFARLANE|

The new headquarters for the news channel Euronews is designed by Paris-based firm Jakob + MacFarlane on the riverside of the Saône. It features a striking acid-green facade made of an external aluminium layer with a wavy pattern broken by two huge holes providing a view over the docks. If you live in Paris you may notice some similarities with the City of Fashion and Design on the docks along the river Seine.

JACOB + MACFARLANE

56 Quai Rambaud, 69002 Lyon

RBC MOBILIER |JACOB + MACFARLANE|

Following the same concept (although this building was realised first) Jakob + Macfarlane completed an orange cube that features a perforated facade with two large round holes carved out of it. The building accommodates a design-furniture showroom so it is easily accessible to the public.

RBC MOBILIER

JACOB + MACFARLANE

42 Quai Rambaud, 69002 Lyon

PÔLE DE LOISIRS ET DE COMMERCES – CONFLUENCE AREA –

Confluence is the newly developed part of Lyon, located in between the Rhône and the Saône in the southern part of the city. It presents modern architecture with a selection of new apartments and a shopping area. This entire district boasts interesting contemporary architecture so I suggest a walk from Perrache station towards Musée des Confluences to explore it entirely.

The last photo is from a mixed-use urban block called “le Monolithe” designed by MVRDV. It’s immense and it combines social housing, a residence for disabled people, offices and retail; it’s like an independent island within the city.

UNIVERSITÉ CATHOLIQUE DE LYON

    Un post condiviso da 📍Paris | NANCY (@_nancy0_0) in data: 18 Apr 2017 alle ore 11:27 PDT

  A new university campus that gives a new urban image to this part of Lyon that you can see just stepping out of the train station Perrache going towards Confluence area. It’s a large-scale urban project that has seen a former prison reconverted into a university preserving part of the old heritage that blends with contemporary steel and glass additions.

Particularly interesting the art work of the artist Jesus Rafael Soto “Pénétrable de Lyon” that you can see in the photo I posted on my Instagram.

UNIVERSITÉ CATHOLIQUE DE LYON

HENRI MONCORGER

10 Place des Archives, 69002 Lyon

GARE DE LYON-PERRACHE

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  One of the main train stations in Lyon even though today largely replaced by Part-Dieu station. This is one of the very first French railway stations (1860), built on the first railway in the world: the Lyon-Saint-Etienne. It’s literally the only way to get to Confluences from the northern part of the city or vice versa.

PARKING DES CÉLESTINS

An underground car park worth a visit. A multi-story tower surrounded by arched windows. At the base of the tower there’s a mirror that rotates very slowly and gives the impression of a never-ending tunnel. It’s an art installation by Daniel Buren (remember the French artist who covered la Fondation Louis Vuitton with brightly coloured filters  positioned on the glass surface in a chequerboard pattern).

DANIEL BUREN

11 Place des Célestins, 69002 Lyon

PARKING DES HALLES PAUL BOCUSE

To be honest I didn’t know about this but saw it while I was on my way to the Radisson Blue hotel and I thought it was worth a stop…I was right. It’s an helicoidal car park designed back in the 60’s by the Swiss architect Jean Zumbrunnen (he worked extensively on the renovation of the entire Pard-Dieu district).

There’s a project drew by the architect William Wilmotte in collaboration with the local artist Mengzhi Zheng that has the goal of creating an amusement space on the rooftop of this car park. For sure a reason to go back to Lyon!

133 Rue Garibaldi, 69003 Lyon

RADISSON BLU HOTEL

You really cannot miss “le crayon” looking over the city skyline. The iconic pencil tower hosts at the 32nd floor the reception of the 4 stars Radisson Blu hotel. The central atrium is stunning!

RADISSON BLU HOTEL

129 Rue Servient, 69326 Lyon

NOTRE-DAME DE FOURVIÈRE

Notre Dame de Fourvière is the main cathedral overlooking the city. It’s a good hike to get there but really worthy as the view over Lyon is pretty spectacular from there. Don’t expect to see any sunset though as the terrace faces the north side, just keep it in mind.

NOTRE-DAME DE FOURVIÈRE

8 Place de Fourvière, 69005 Lyon

THÉÂTRE GALLO-ROMAIN

The Roman amphitheatre on the archeological site of Fourvière hill is just few minutes walking distance from the cathedral and here is located even the Gallo-Roman Museum designed by Bernard Zehrfuss. Apparently it features a beautiful concrete spiral ramp that I haven’t seen myself.

MUSÉE GALLO-ROMAIN

17 Rue Cleberg, 69005 Lyon

VIEUX LYON

The most charming part of Lyon, in which you can walk on the old cobbled streets and admire all the colorful houses that line the narrow streets of this quarter. Of course this area is always flooded with tourists so get there in the morning to enjoy it half empty because from lunch time on it will be impossible not to be squeezed among tourists.

OPÉRA |JEAN NOUVEL|

Un post condiviso da Sébastien & Lauralee ❤ (@voyagement.votre) in data: 21 Apr 2017 alle ore 09:05 PDT

OPÉRA DE LYON

JEAN NOUVEL

21 Place Tolozan, 69001 Lyon

SAINT EXUPÉRY AIRPORT |SANTIAGO CALATRAVA|

  Un post condiviso da Killian Roman (@kiks_way) in data: 16 Mar 2017 alle ore 10:30 PDT

SANTIAGO CALATRAVA

Lats tip:  Lyon is also known for its famous light festival called Fête des Lumières which takes place every 8 of December and lasts for four days so if you can go on those days. I had put it in my agenda and I would love to see the Lyon turning into a “City of Lights”, literally!

Now a couple of things I want to ask you.

First of all, have you been in Lyon? If so let me know writing a comment down here. I want to know what you think of it.

And if you know the city maybe you even know other interesting or remarkable places that I should add?

I collected here everything regarding architecture to visit that you wouldn’t normally find in an ordinary travel guide. My intention is to make it useful for all the architecture lovers out there so if you have suggestions just write me and let me know. 

Lastly it would be very much appreciated if you can share it with anyone you think may be interested in having a look at this guide. 

  LYON | FRANCE | – ARCHITECTURE CITY GUIDE Lyon, France’s third biggest city after Paris and Marseille. It's a city with lots of history, its lands are inhabited since a very long time starting from a Roman settlement back in the BC period.

#architecture #Coop Himmelb(l)au #France #Jean Nouvel #Lyon #Santiago Calatrava #travel guide