#also i’ve been thinking a lot abt how a pattern that repeats in my life is the lack of closure | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nizynskis · 3 years

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*rolls in with a reporter van and crew* would u like to tell the folks at home what poems have shaped your life? ✒

I have to laugh Charlie you cannot know what you’ve just done...I spent multiple hours trying to narrow this list down but I will be normal about it god willing

The Undressing by Li-Young Lee > when I first read lee a long time ago i was fully neutral on him and I didn’t particularly like or dislike him. but then I read this one Lol...Gee golly.

The Laughter of Stafford Girl’s High by Carol Ann Duffy > she is easily the best narrative poet I’ve ever read. I only read this one rather recently and i could not breathe at all. heart picking up thinking about it

Quia Amore Langueo by Anonymous > I love to come back to this one! the difficulty reading it gives me a little more to work with and it’s a silly little challenge I enjoy

Crossing Brooklyn Ferry by Walt Whitman > one does not simply grow up in brooklyn and not know this one. the neighborhood ice cream parlor always had part of it written across the wall

The Tyger by William Blake > one of my favorite childhood books had this poem in it and when I read it I feel like a baby again. he was crazy for this

Heritage by Kaveh Akbar > when I force my friends to sample contemporary poetry I always always add this one. He is so thoughtful and careful with his words I am in awe

Song by Brigit Pegeen Kelly > everything she writes knocks me on my ass. it’s so satisfying in its way.

Because The Color Is Half The Taste by Paige Lewis > this is like my idea of a perfect poem if one could exist. when I read it I sigh and press my hands to my heart like an old lady

Late Letter by Maria Pawkikowska-Jasnorzewska > this poem is not especially wonderful I suppose because it’s too short to be but it’s how I imagine I would sound if I wrote poetry HEHE

The Poet Speaks To His Love On The Telephone by Federico García Lorca > speaking of how I would sound if I wrote poetry I think it would be very similar to this also. When I think about poetry I love my brain automatically flashes to the last few lines of this

Questions by Bertolt Brecht > I always forget how beautiful brecht is until I go visit his tag on my blog and scream. I like to write in this way when I write letters I hope he appreciates that

Leisure, Hannah, Does Not Agree With You by Hannah Gamble > are you noticing a pattern here! I’m obsessed with repetition. I love love when things repeat it scratches the itch in my brain

Pietà by Rainer Maria Rilke > I find it funny when writers like Erich Heller gently make fun of Rilke for being a romantic or a sap because the subjects of his poems repulse me. They are ugly. But the poems themselves are so beautiful it makes me sick what was wrong with him...is it the language...I haven’t solved the mystery

Magdalene by Marie Howe > she is a killer. I have to write a paper in english class relating three poems to the book we’re reading and you had better believe magdalene is coming in there with me.

Love Opened a Mortal Wound by Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz > after reading this I went on a wikipedia rabbit hole abt miss de la cruz and I stayed there all night. She is that good. Very interesting life too I recommend for your next Wikipedia night

Nijinsky by Andrew Glaze > this is the first of two poems about nijinsky I have here. I like to think I’ve read almost all of the poems that have been written about him and I can say with confidence now that there is just something about him that makes writers go feral. They do their very best with him.

The Convent Threshold by Christina Georgina Rossetti > I get a lot of joy from re reading this because it takes me back to being really new to poetry and reading this out loud to myself reallyyyy slowly sophie was so young then and just as excited about poetry as I still am

Consorting with Angels by Anne Sexton > her language is so overwhelming it scares me sometimes. I believe she called herself a ‘confessional’ poet and that just seems like too pale of a word for what this is

Rondel by Tristan Corbière > his entire book Les amours jaunes is so fucking good but impossible to find a physical copy it is very frustrating. The link has almost all of the poems I think and I have a golden time just going through them

My Brother, My Wound by Natalie Diaz > she is easily among the best contemporary poets rn and it was hard to select just one. I love that her field is so specific so I can literally just look at a street lamp or a knife and think Getting a lot of Diaz vibes from this...

Caoineadh Áirt Úi Laoghaire by Eibhlín Dubh Ní Chonaill > if I could memorize any poem it would be this. Not that I havent tried I used to get to it on YouTube and fall asleep listening to it hoping it would work its way into my memory but my brain is too slippery I suppose. Oh to zone out in class and be able to read this one to myself:(

The War of Vaslav Nijinsky by Frank Bidart > my favorite poem in the world. I really owe it a lot. When I first read it I was frantic about it I knew I hadn’t read the whole thing so I looked in so many bookstores. I tried to buy it online and kept getting sent the wrong book. when I finally found it I read the whole thing over three times and decided I had liked the cut off version better and that if bidart had known what was good for him he would have left it like that. and that was my first independent thought about a poem and my first real opinion about a poem and I will not forget that favor

#this post is terribly embarrassing for me I feel so utterly cringe.#but if I could talk about this with anyone it would be you Charlatan I am sure you understand what i mean you get everything <3 #ok back to your regularly scheduled reblogging.#long post #asks #char tag

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100percentdirtball · 4 years

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07 and 18 for ominous?

7. okay i don’t talk about this often bc it’s not possible a) socially b) legally c) practically but honestly? after i die in an ideal world i’m cremated, my bones are ground, and my remnants are used somehow in cooking. i’ve given a lot of thought to how exactly they would be prepared, but ideally they wouldn’t impart a lot of texture//taste, as far removed from cannibalism as possible for both yuck reasons and culinary reasons.

i find something infinitely appealing abt the idea that my body would be shared among the people that i love, that i would live on in some strange way inside them; the food that you eat becomes a part of you, helping to rebuild tissue and bone and blood. there’s a very strange intimacy there that i’ve never been able to stop thinking about, even tho it’s both impossible and impractical and honestly just a little bit crazy? having my remains shared among the ppl that are most important to me as part of funeral rites, mayb while ppl talk about me some or read some of my writing, would bring me no end of satisfaction

my other notion is also deeply impractical as society is currently structured, but i basically believe that graveyards shouldn’t exist. there’s this whole thing in A Pattern Language–probably my very favorite book to ever exist–about how both birth and death have been utterly sanitized and removed from public life; birth is treated as a sickness, a medical condition that must be treated and managed in which the primary focus is on returning the person who has given birth to a state of productive normalcy. this is starting to change, with the advent and repopularization of birthing centers and doulas, but death is still treated as such. here i’ll just quote from the book:

“No people [ed: “people” here in the sense of “culture” or “society” not “person” ] who turn their backs on death can be alive. The presence of the dead among the living will be a daily fact in any society which encourages its people to live.”

removing death from the fabric of life, relegating the dead to impersonal cemeteries, and bringing a taboo of death such that we are even afraid to speak of it to children all contribute to a fear of life. death should be seen as a healthy part of living–we should fight death with all the strength we can muster for as long as it’s tenable to do so, but we must also be deeply aware and deeply empathetic of and to the grieving process. for this reason, A Pattern Language recommends that “scattered grave sites” are reintroduced into public life; they recommend that all parks and public spaces, with sections of paths and gardens, be allowed to contain small patches of graves, or even individual graves. people should be interned in places they are meaningful to them, and in easily accessible places that are interwoven with the spaces that people naturally exist in, both strangers and close friends and relatives.

if i’m to be buried, i’d like to be buried under this one live oak tree in ramsey park; i’ve experienced a lot of really important things there, from my childhood all the way up to the last few years. i always recommend my friends and loved ones go there when they have a spare moment, and after my death i’d like them to have a tangible memory of me when they do.

wow that was more than i was expecting to write.

18. yes, yea. deeply. recently i’ve been dreaming a lot of being a college professor, teaching literary criticism in a small community college. i have dreams about assembling syllabi, introducing myself on the first day of class, and grading papers. sometimes they’re stressful, but not stress dreams, and mostly they just feel comfortable and right.

the nightmares that recur are about different subject matters, but the theme is the same. it’s a little snippet, something relatively mundane. waking up in my bed and looking around my room, going go-karting, eating in a restaurant. something sometimes familiar, or sometimes unfamiliar. the first iteration is normal, just an accurate representation of a normal activity. then the dream repeats, and repeats, and repeats, for ten or twenty or thirty iterations, and every time the fabric of reality degrades slightly. people behave just a little more strangely, or weird visual artifacts are introduced–colors flicker, people and voices appear distorted, time and space stretches and warps, objects clip through each other or detach from euclidean space entirely. by the end it’s just distorted masses of colors and sounds and flesh, my body unrecognizable as myself or even as human, over and over and over.

it’s not fun.

#death #cannibalism tw #nightmares #just generally bad imagery #just a general tw #A Pattern Language #long post #Anonymous #ask #ask me ask me ask ask me

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donghun-s · 6 years

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the very large sp3arb tag

so @sp3arb has tagged me in a total four tags recently and i’m finally getting around to all of them!! tysm for all the tags, meri (btw i love your name?? i think its super cute!) and i hope you learn a bunch of unnecessary stuff abt me lmao (under the cut bc this is a long ass post)

i dont have a name for this tag

1ST RULE: Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

im not tagging anyone bc im bad at things and most ppl i wanna know about, meri has already tagged so

2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true.

APPEARANCE: - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo - I have at least one piercing - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair - My abs are at least somewhat defined - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY: - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know- I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY: - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing maths in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES: - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority - I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES: - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol - I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event - I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

MY LIFE: - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling - I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS: - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship - I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily - I have had a crush for over a year - I have been in a relationship for over a year - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM: - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages [i don’t speak two, i speak one and sign in another] - I have made a new friend in the past year

alphabet tag

Rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better

I was tagged by Roxanne ( is it ok if I call you Roxy? I like Roxy) Actually @lxx-fxlix And for some reason it did not give me the notification you did, I was casually stalking your blog when I saw:

A: age? 16 (01 liner)

B: birthplace? North Carolina

C: current time? 7:53 pm

D: drink you had last? Arnold Palmer (half sweet tea, half lemonade)

E: easiest person to talk to? for me, it’s my irl best friend gwen and my best friend on here, krys

F: favorite song? oof i’m super indecisive so i’m just gonna commit to mayday by got7 (it always changes but mayday has stayed on my constantly rotating playlist for nearly six months now; most are on for six weeks, max)

G: grossest memory? uh probably when one of my swim lesson kids tried to eat a bug (they were like four) and i had to make them spit it out into my hands

H: hogwarts house? proud slytherin!!

I: in love? i love a lot of people, but i’m not IN love

J: jealous of people? not anymore, my self-esteem has gotten so much better in past years

K: killed someone? uhm a couple of times in fics (*cough* jinjin in not like this *cough*)

L: love at first sight or should i walk by again? not love but pls walk by again bc i’m probably enjoying your aesthetics

M: middle name? christine

N: number of siblings? one, an older sister

O: one wish? to adopt a kid with no family or an unhealthy one (obvs when older and financially stable)

P: person you called last? my sister called me yesterday morning, and before that i had called my friend to tell him abt a near death experience when i was driving

R: reasons to smile? something good will happen to you, you’ll meet someone wonderful, and there’s always new experiences to happen

S: song you sang last? poet by bastille (an underrated fave)

T: time you woke up? about 8 am

U: underwear color? light heathered grey

V: vacation destination? i’d love to go to greece someday! santorini would be my first choice, and then my great-grandparents old village near thessaloniki

W: worst habit? probs my dermatillia (picking at acne on my face until it bleeds, then picking at the scabs, leaving a bunch of scars that will never go away)

X: x-rays? i got one on my tailbone one time, two years after i sprained it bc my mom didn’t believe me

Y: your favorite food? uhhh most anything tbh; i quite like the honey butter chicken sandwich from pdq

Z: zodiac sign? libra

✨ Fun Facts Tag ✨

Rules for this are:

Have fun with it!

Tag some of your mutuals

1) Favourite colours:

orange!! and after that, any kinds of pastel or muted darks

2) Favourite song at the moment:

lotto by exo has been on replay in my head, my car, and my earbuds

3) Last book you read:

the sun and her flowers by rupi kaur

4) Last TV show you watched:

i tried to watch part-time idol bc hyunbin from jbj was in it, but within the first 15 minutes they set up an unnecessary relationship so i had to nope out of there real hard; i then reverted back to rewatching white collar for the fifth time

5) Last movie you watched:

does john mulaney’s nerflix comedy special comeback kid count?? if not, probably nightmare before christmas way back around christmastime

6) If you have a pet whats their name?:

four dogs: pheonix, kino, midge, and bess; three horses: little man, gem, and andy (ironically i’m allergic to dogs and horses, and my dad keeps buying more)

7) If you have siblings how many?:

one, my older sister

8) Favourite thing to do on a weekend:

i love doing my swim lessons and seeing all my kids!! i haven’t been able to lately bc of the weather,

9) Best tumblr friends:

i only talk to @cheesyramynry on a daily basis, but i have a lot of blogs that i consider friendly acquaintances or casual friends as well!!

10) Favourite thing about yourself:

i value my compassion and empathy above all else; i am very much the mom friend and love to be it

11) Favourite memory:

ah i have so many; i think rn i’m gonna go with this past christmas, bc it was my last one with my grandfather

12) 3 weird habits:

swallowing gum, taking all my pills in descending size order, i tend to mimic how a singer sounds when i sing along to the song (ex: if they have a british accent, i’ll subconsciously sing in a british accent; if they stress certain syllables in certain ways, i’ll do it too)

13) What would you call your style?:

comfortable (stretchy jeans, t-shirts, hoodies) and with a few signature Gay Things (jean jacket, flannels, oversized mens’ button ups, a couple gay/bi pride shirts)

14) Odd talent:

if i have lyrics in front of me to a song i’ve never heard before, i can predict the pattern of the tunes and rhythm and sing along the first time

15) Do you have a tumblr crush?:

literally all of aroha and all of the sk fandom (y’all are the loveliest fandoms i’ve ever been a part of)

the stray kids tag

Rules: answer the questions in a new post, and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better.

I’ve decided that in celebration of Stray Kids pre-debut album I needed to create a tag. The ultimate goal for The Stray Kids Tag is to learn about your Tumblr mutuals, and have fun answering the Stray Kids related questions! Here we go:

1: When did you decide to join the Stray kids fandom?

i saw a thread of information abt the suspected nine members before they were officially announced and was like ‘yes i must stan them and love them with all of my heart.’ so uh,,,,, back in august or september??

2: What is your favorite episode of Stray Kids? uhm, i’m gonna expose myself rn and let y’all know that i’ve never actually seen a full episode of the show; as soon as i heard it was gonna be a survival show, i knew that i couldn’t watch it bc my heart was too weak and i was emotionally incapable of becoming too invested while watching it; but from clips, i quite like the episode with the 3:3:3 mission, and also the last episode when all nine were reunited and told they were going to debut together

3: Who would you say is your bias in Stray kids?

my initial one was chan, and they i got rlly confused, and then slowly came to realize that it was jeongin (anything else after that is a fucking mess)

4: Who would you say is your bias wrecker in Stray kids?

literally kill me all of them bias wreck me so hard bUT hyunjin, jisung, seungmin, and chan have been wrecking me so hard in particular lately

5: What line would you want to be apart of in Stray kids? uHHH not dance line bc swimmers have 0 coordination on land; i quite like singing even tho i’m not good at, so probably that, but i can also hit all of chan’s english rap parts in 3racha songs, and keep up with lafayette’s raps in hamilton, and a lot of the english rappers i like too so uh,,, sign me up for rap line too

6: What is the first song you heard of Stray kids? hellevator

7: What is the first song you heard of 3racha? i think it was either hoodie season or runner’s high

8: What is your favorite song on their pre-debut album?

young wings or school life or yayaya (or grr or 4419 or glow or hellevator)

9: What is a concept you’d like to see Stray Kids try in the future?

i love their current optimistic and slightly rebellious teenager concept rn bc its an Eternal Mood; but i always love myself a soft boyfriend concept

10: if you could meet with the members of Stray kids for one day what would you say to them?

how proud of them i am, and how proud of themselves they should be; i would tell them about how they’re saying things that resonate deeply for their fans and i love that they’re talking abt real world problems; i would also make sure to tell them (chan and 3racha especially) to make sure to rest more, and eat well, and take care of themselves emotionally as well as physically; and finally i’d like to tell jeongin how wonderful he is and that he’s doing so much at such a young age (lmao he’s actually eight months older than me but that’s no the point) and to never lose his cute little smile

finally done!! meri, if you actually read all of this, uh thank you????? i hope you now know everything you wanted to know abt me, and probably more than you wanted to know

i’m bad at tagging people, so if you also made it this far and haven’t done some of these tags, choose one, or a couple, or all of them and do them yourself!! just say that i tagged you!!

#mel talks #tags

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