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stardustedknuckles · 5 months

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It's been so long since I've had to exist within a group of people consistently over many days and damn, I nearly forgot I was autistic. I found out yesterday that though I get along with almost everyone at work, most of my coworkers thought I was a huge bitch who hated everyone for a little bit (and one still does, which is how this whole thing came up at all). I was bewildered like. No I'm very often dizzy or in a bit of pain and I'm very focused on taking care of the dogs but I'm not - I don't dislike any of you? I've never been mad at you, you guys thought I was mad?? Just an alarming disconnect between the way I see myself and the way I come off to others. I have never once gotten the hang of behaving like a regular person, but it appears that time has taken me from "generally silly person with an offbeat sense of humor who doesn't take things seriously" to "stoic hardass who doesn't like you and thinks you're stupid also." I did not authorize this change. It's throwing me for a loop. I feel like I'm 6 again being told to stop talking over people's heads because I just learned a new big word and I wanted to use and share it. I like assholes with a heart of gold in media. I don't want to be one??

#Like I've essentially been locked alone in a room for three years almost four due to the pandemic #And before that my big job was working in a warehouse where we mostly worked separately #But I remember the times we did socialize I fit in #But I also remember my coworkers were all nerds and that helped #Like idk I feel like I've been sleeping for years and woke up to being a different person #I know it's been hard for me to manage migraines and such (though it's getting easier or I'm just in a good proud period)#But damn #Everyone I've talked to at work figured out pretty quickly that I really can be fun to talk to #But this one girl is avoiding me and I think it's because I was stressed on Thanksgiving day #And probably went from an unknown to a definite asshole in her mind #So I need to talk to her but having it explained to me last night like #'I told her it's not anything personal and you're just kind of like that with everyone' and I was like #Fuck! Am I awful to interact with initially?? Or worse - always until you adapt?

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dykehayleywilliams · 7 months

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i don't know what it is about october that consistently makes it the busiest month of my year 🥴

#looking at my calendar and just realized i'm only spending one weekend at home this whole month #which also happened last year AND the year before #and probably would have happened in 2020 but pandemic so i spent all my free time that october doing election stuff #it's october 2 and i'm already exhausted :| NOT promising

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medieval-canadian · 8 months

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welp, i tested positive for covid this morning, lmao. i had to cancel class tomorrow.

hopefully i can gather the energy to record a little lecture or something so that students get some of the background they're hoping for (basically this week was the "how to read middle english" primer/refresher course). overall it's fairly mild, so as long as i don't have a fever on friday, i'm going to go to class (masked, of course) and we can talk about the poems i'm having them read. i'm gonna struggle to be heard through the mask, but alas. we'll have to make do.

other than that, i have two students from my summer course who didn't submit their work by the extended deadline (last friday), which was the very last day i'm technically allowed to accept late work. one of them might?? maybe???? be submitting something by tonight?? she emailed at like 3 in the morning on saturday asking for a couple of extra days. i answered yesterday telling her that if she got something to me by 10pm tonight, then i would make it work (grades are due tomorrow lol), but if not, then she would have to file a petition for a term work extension with the registrar. the other one is... i think?? in the process of submitting such a petition.

i'm just here sitting on my couch surrounded by tissues and trying to get some of my shit together, lol.

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dazais-guardian-angel · 1 month

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went to my first con in 4 years on Friday to meet Kaiji Tang and got a Dazai autograph + video recording of him reading to me. He was the sweetest person (as I knew he would be) and interacting with him was lovely, but also at the same time oh boy it sure was an extremely stressful, ugly wake-up call of what it feels like to live in a world now where everyone around you has blissfully moved on from covid and can enjoy things normally and happily, while you'll forever be trapped in a hellscape of perpetual fear 🫠🫠🫠

#like. to be clear this was the first time i've been literally anywhere but doctor's appointments in 4 years #not just because of the pandemic but because of mental and physical exhaustion #so it was a Big Mistake to go from 0 to 100 and not ease myself into it at all #but at the same time........ it was a fucking hellscape of people. i don't think any kind of buildup could have prepared me for it at all.#it was so much less crowded in 2020 (ironically the very last place i ever went; literally on the BRINK of covid)#and now idk what it's become. a monster con. it was unbelievable.#but i was only there for less than an hour but i was so so so terrified that i very nearly left before even seeing him #i couldn't even fully enjoy meeting him as kind as he was because i was so anxious and distracted #and when i got back to the car i just fucking cried.........#the last five days i've just been sitting in fear waiting to feel Any sort of symptoms #i wore two masks and again was barely there for long but Still #and everyone around me was so chill as if everything was normal and No One was wearing a mask :))))) it's not fucking fair man :)))))#insert the 'they don't know' meme; they don't know how much covid can destroy your body even if you get a 'mild' case #i would never want to be that ignorant even if i wasn't disabled and didn't have reason to worry (but everyone has reason to worry!!!)#but also. ignorance is bliss and it just really fucking sucks man.#it really fucking sucks. why do they get to be happy and enjoying life and not /me?/#why can't i do just ONE thing for myself without having it tainted by anxiety and fear that i'm going to die horribly???#while they get to do fucking EVERYTHING???#if they all just wore masks we could all enjoy ourselves much more comfortably than some of us are now #but no that's too much to ask from people 🙃🙃🙃#shit sucks man. the world sucks. something that should be a happy memory for me was simultaneously the most awful experience #and i don't know how to feel about it now that it's over #he knew that i was afraid and at the end he told me that he hoped to see me again at another event someday #and that made me cry because it felt like dazai telling me to live. and i want to. but i don't know how to when the world is like this now.#i desperately want to be able to see him again someday but right now after how terrifying that was i never want to go to a con ever again..#i wanted to ask him things about the manga and about dazai but i was being rushed and stressed so i couldn't ugh #(and doing that is hard enough anyway cause disability and i have to talk with my phone bahhhh)#at least i was able to give him my note *sigh*

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jackredfieldwasmyjacob · 1 year

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okay I LIED (sorta)

#just got out of there #over 1 hour lol #while i was going to the interview i was thinking what lie i was gonna say #it was to be a teacher in an english academy #so i crafted this lie that i had given sporadic english classes to kids a few years ago before the pandemic #i even practiced my english cause i thought at least part of the interview was gonna be in english (that didn't happen)#but when i got there the interviewer was 'so... you don't have any experience'#and i chickened out and said i helped my sister and cousin with some extra english classes in the past (i did not)#BUT then she started asking me these questions and situations and i panicked so much #and when she asked 'what was the last time you put on a costume?' i said i dressed up as mexican with my family for carnival???#cause sure let's be culturally insensitive while we're at it #i did dress up as a mexican with my family once in a summer carnival but it was with like. ponchos and hats my mexican family had sent us #and like 6-7 years ago #not last year #again no idea why i thought of them #i also said i did theatre in school (i did not)#she then gave me a writing assignment???? i had to write a 250 word essay about computers #so yeah. it was definitely something

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arctic-hands · 1 year

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Re: the being immunocompromised and nearly dying of agony from shingles all over me at sixteen thing. I used to say that was the worst pain I've ever felt in my chronically ill life, worsened by the fact that weenie me refused morphine because I was fully indoctrinated by D.A.R.E. and terrified that I would become an addict as I lay in the hospital bed writhing in agony as I was damn-near actively dying. Even breaking my toes a few years later just warranted a mild "Fuck." in comparison.

Anyway I recently experienced three infected teeth (two wisdoms that apparently just grew in already rotted? and one cavity that got out of hand because I kept forgetting to call my dentist and couldn't afford it anyway) within a two year span and let me say that that knocked the nearly dying in agony thing right out of the park

#it had literally been a decade by that point since I ever cried in pain #the last time before that being when I had my first bowel obstruction that coincided with a migraine #I miss my tooth #not the wisdoms to hell with them. but I couldn't afford a root canal for the third tooth so it had to come out #the kicker is that as of a month ago Maryland Medicaid covers dental. again.#it used to cover dental even before that but they cancelled the coverage the year I moved to Maryland #I'm glad they are covering dental again and I have an appointment in May but I wish it had come a year earlier #because my options were between a two hundred dollar extraction or a thousand dollar root canal #teeth are a luxury in the U.S.#also when I had my wisdoms removed I went to a dental surgeon and had laughing gas #but when I had the third tooth removed I couldn't afford that again and went to my regular dentist and didn't even have valium for it #I was SHAKING in the chair trying not to freak out or faint #it was longer than it should have been too because the tooth shattered in the process and he had to dig out the roots and let me tell you #not. fun.#at least for two hundred dollars I got novocaine. If I had gone to the dental school for free they wouldn't have even given me that #cannot don't want to imagine that pain #I wish I could have kept my wisdom teeth like my roommate did when he had one years before #but the dental surgeon refused to give them to me because of pandemic protocols. I never even got to look at them #laughing gas is better than valium I think. both are great tho #I wasn't out of control loopy on laughing gas but when they were stitching up my gums I thought 'huh. hell of a time to floss my teeth'#teeth #toothache #Thou hell o' a' diseases

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delyth88 · 2 years

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Painting again for the first time in ages. This is another online portrait sitter.

Session 1:

Session 2:

#my art #art #oil painting #portrait painting #painting #not fandom #i'm on a waitlist for a year long painting course next year. one fir adults outside work.#hoping someone puls out before February and i can get a spot.#i did the first year of the course in 2020. and yeah. that went well. 😅#but after a couple of years dealing with pandemic and work stress i'm in a headspace to do something creative again.#also put in an application for a bew job last week. so will see if anything comes of that.

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galariangengar · 9 months

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💭

#this girl I was close friends/roommates with during my last year of college just got engaged with her bf of 8 years #while I am happy for both of them… idk I have difficult feelings about her now and don’t see her as a friend anymore #she used to live in the same city as me during the first like year and a half or so of the pandemic #and in that time we got to see/hang out with each other twice #first time we got to catch up for a few hours and we had a good time but it was kinda bittersweet… idk how to describe it #the second time she asked me last minute to accompany her to pick up stuff she got through Facebook marketplace #during one of those two times we hung out/she basically told me to my face that it would be the last time I’d see her #i understood initially cuz she was about to start teaching and she wanted to focus on her relationships with her bf and her family #but not long after she started teaching/she quickly started going out a lot and making new friends #then she moved to another town like 30 ish minutes away cuz her aunt kicked her out in the middle of her first year of teaching #idk I never had a good feeling about things cuz of all of that stuff I stated above #but also since she’s been trying on working to improve her relationship with her mom after everything she’s done to her #cuz we both have shitty moms who’ve said and done shitty things to us and our families #i know it probably won’t happen or won’t happen for like a few years #but in the event she invites me to her wedding/ I’m gonna be deadass with her about how I’ve felt about her #and see if she’s willing to work on improving our friendship before I decide to attend (if she does invite me cuz idk)#oh I also forgot how after she moved after her aunt kicked her out #she had the nerve to randomly ask if I could watch her aunt’s dogs during the week I was starting 3 online summer classes #she didn’t even like say hi/make small talk or ask nicely either #she just straight up was like ‘hey can you watch my aunt’s dogs during (x) week?’#she recently congratulated me when I posted on my Instagram story that I passed my driving text and got me license but I didn’t respond #I just have a lot of difficult feelings about her now/wish I could unfollow her but I don’t wanna start shit & her be all in my face & shit #jazz uses curse! 💜

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astrxealis · 1 year

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got another person into granblue fantasy, an old friend B)

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#from SCHOOL !! we were just acquaintances before the pandemic but then uhmm #like last year...? suddenly started dming. fun! anyways super nice #oh i realize they are gay and trans too (as umbrella terms) im not as alone as i thought i was irl. nice <3 #yeah ... silly we haven't interacted irl yet we forgor how each other looks but also i found out today my friend in class from last year #remembers me as a friend and all uhm bcs my friend and her were talking about final fantasy... sniffs..... people remember me. wow #so yeah. and then uhm. yeah #THEY DID get into it sometime back but only now super properly i think... i won't be surprised if they don't get too into it though bcs time #and all lol! anyway right my dad uhhh..... oops.......... i forgor me and lune often have speeches relating to the lgbtq community #like the sogie bill should be passed or lgbtq struggles or stuff like that. same-sex marriage?#and they hear us very clearly. the walls are not very soundproof aha and once they were right inside. how fun #YEAH anyway my dad is hinting i think he'll support me and lune no matter what since we are family and idk he's cool i think #mom i'm worried about still but. yeah. i think i'll try to find the chance to come out to my aunt and maybe to her gay friend as well

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hellonoblesky · 2 years

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My school is being such a Bitch to my grade specifically this year what the fuck

#turtledove is not vibing #im rlly just complaining lmao I'm super pissed abt this #Before anyone comes at me: I understand how rough it has been for teachers and admins.#But also they made sure the 6th graders went on their stupid sleepaway camp that everyone gets sick at.#But us? Us who missed a whole year of field trips last year? Who are losing our GRADUATIONG CLASS TRIP TO DC???#NOTHING!!#THEY DIDNT EVEN LET US JOIN THE 7TH GRADERS FOR MIDEVIL TIMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#WEVE GOTTEN NOTHING. AT ALL. THIS WHOLE YEAR. Exept for the ms dance which my grade and the TWO BELOW us get to attend #WE have gotten NOTHING #ANd for me. specifically. who has always been friends with older kids and heard them talking about how GREAT their freild trips were??#I'm?? really mad????#Like look I get the DC thing. We're still in a pandemic and being in a plane is risky I get that #But they really made No attempt to try and make it up to us.#They could have taken us to litearlly any number of Mediocore Local Attractions and we would have been happy with it!!!!#LITEARLLY walking down to the shopping center to get ice cream would have been fine.#But NOOOO nonono not US who are FUCKIGN GRADUATING THIS YEAR.#Like. Ok look get this they ARE letting us have a liiiittle festival the day before the last day of school #THATS kinda cool #BUt guess where we're having are graduation?? In the middle of the day? In JUNE? In a DESSERT?#Outside. On the fucking field.#When we litearlly HAVE a ROOM in the SCHOOL that IS MADE FOR EVENTS LIKE THIS #But Nooooooooooo we have to be Outside because Stars Forbid we have the 8th rgaders in One Room!!!#LIKE WE HAVENT BEEN DOING THAT ALL YEAR?????#I just. Im so mad. Im so ANgry.

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youremyonlyhope · 2 years

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PHANTOM OF THE OPERA IS FINALLY CLOSING ON BROADWAY.

THANK YOU THEATRE GODS.

#not tagging this but i know if you search phantom it will show up so this is more just a testament to search tags not general #i for one try to ignore the fact that tumblr changed its search function to have the option to search tags and general posts.#but i am making sure to NOT purposefully put this in the phantom tag since i'm not that mean when it comes to phantom #but i can't help that tumblr's search function is stupid so if this shows up because it has the words phantom then i'm sorry #once again for the record i DID NOT put hate in the tag. if you think you're in the phantom tag and you see this post then know that #you are not in the phantom tag you are in the phantom search bar and you need to relearn how to use tumblr's updated stupidity #ANYWAY. GUYS. I'VE BEEN SCREAMING FOR YEARS THAT PHANTOM NEEDED TO HAVE CLOSED ALREADY AND IT IS FINALLY CLOSING #finally. FINALLY. the pandemic has claimed a show that truly deserved to close.#this show should have closed in 2015 when they put that literal child molester onstage as the phantom #who was only spared being a registered sex offender because the judge didn't want to 'ruin his career'#hey dude. don't assault at 15 year old if you don't want to ruin your own career. god. 7+ years of anger bubbling up right.#this show should have closed so long ago. if not in 2015 then LONG before then but 2015 should have been the moment.#that STUPID casting decision should have been the reason it closed i am so mad it took this long.#the show should have closed after Norm played the Phantom because it didn't do anything good again until Emilie #now if Emilie Kouatchou gets to be the last Broadway Christine then i will die HAPPILY. i will just. i can die now. i will be happy.#because not only would phantom be FINALLY closed but then that means Playbill Vault will always show Emilie in closing cast #i hope she stays through the end of the run though i will not be seeing the show before it closes unless it's for free #PHANTOM'S CLOSING ON BROADWAY YOU GUYS!!! THIS IS A JOYOUS DAY!#my anon is off so don't even try to come at me #also shoutout to Thelma Pollard who is amazing i hope she gets a good retirement package from ALW like she DESERVES #i feel bad for cast and crew who are losing jobs but the show itself? nah. glad it's gone.

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pepprs · 2 years

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omg i was feeling better for like 2 hrs but then i saw a post on here that is like maybe the worst thing ive read all day. and now i am feeling despair again

#purrs #going to close this app and go watch minecraft build videos again bc that’s the only thing that distracts me rn. but it sucks. it sucks so #bad. how easy it is to be knocked down like this by a stupid post and how frightened and hopeless and small i feel. like wtf. and i know i s #said this but it’s like the mindset shift thing i rbed a few minutes ago right? like i am supposed to be the BEACON. i am supposed to have t #the hope and give it to people who don’t have it. but what do i do when /i/ don’t have it. that is antithetical to the entire enterprise.#and it does not bode well for our work working lol. like given what i know i should never ever doubt or fear or anything again. and the #sayings are literally brace yourself the world is broken and we’re braving the storm etc etc but right now all that’s going on in my head an #and heart are BROKEEEEEEEEEEEN!!!!!! STOOOOOOOOOOORM!!!!!!! HHEEEEEEEELLPPPPP!!!!!! and not like oh! brace. brave. ok yeah i can do that #and to be fair i don’t think anyone is feeling that way ever probably and that’s why you can’t be a beacon of hope if you haven’t known #hopelessness and don’t fight to overcome it every day. but right now knowing i need to be a beacon is only making me feel more hopeless. and #i know the beacon feeling bc ive been there before but idk if this will pass bc like uhmmmmmm… i live in the fucking death trap that is the #usa. but it might but also idk. i just am haunted by 2 things. number 1 that the most basic simplest thi ng s in life like starting a family #of my own and having a stable living situation might be out of my reach bc i was born at the wrong time. and number 2 that especially in the #last 2 years but also always there are such HORRORS happening and yet so many of them we don’t feel and it’s like out in nature the forest i #is still just the forest and it’s like for these birds and squirrels etc they don’t even know there’s a pandemic and nothing abt their lives #has changed in 2 yrs (that has substantially impacted their way / qualify of life anyway). and i know everything in my save tag refutes this #and also that if lia heard me saying this shit she’d say in effect why don’t you go write a poem and calm down. but part of me wants to feel #hopeless i think because there’s a security in feeling doomed bc to fight it takes strength and courage and is maybe scarier. but i am just #exhausted and grieving rn except the grief i am feeling is NOTHING compared to other griefs others feel and have felt. but yeah this is also #day 4 of living here again and maybe by day 14 or whatever i’ll be feeli ng stronger and more normal but the last few days have been so #fucking hard and so much about my life is different in ways that are hard right now. so i have to just deal with that and adjust and mayhe p #plunge myself into a piece of media like i have done w every other major transition in my life and somehow haven’t done w this one yet but t #that might just give me a break from my stupid broken brain and then i’ll come back and be normal. bc today i could barely get out of bed #delete later

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phantomrose96 · 2 months

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If anyone wants to know why every tech company in the world right now is clamoring for AI like drowned rats scrabbling to board a ship, I decided to make a post to explain what's happening.

(Disclaimer to start: I'm a software engineer who's been employed full time since 2018. I am not a historian nor an overconfident Youtube essayist, so this post is my working knowledge of what I see around me and the logical bridges between pieces.)

Okay anyway. The explanation starts further back than what's going on now. I'm gonna start with the year 2000. The Dot Com Bubble just spectacularly burst. The model of "we get the users first, we learn how to profit off them later" went out in a no-money-having bang (remember this, it will be relevant later). A lot of money was lost. A lot of people ended up out of a job. A lot of startup companies went under. Investors left with a sour taste in their mouth and, in general, investment in the internet stayed pretty cooled for that decade. This was, in my opinion, very good for the internet as it was an era not suffocating under the grip of mega-corporation oligarchs and was, instead, filled with Club Penguin and I Can Haz Cheezburger websites.

Then around the 2010-2012 years, a few things happened. Interest rates got low, and then lower. Facebook got huge. The iPhone took off. And suddenly there was a huge new potential market of internet users and phone-havers, and the cheap money was available to start backing new tech startup companies trying to hop on this opportunity. Companies like Uber, Netflix, and Amazon either started in this time, or hit their ramp-up in these years by shifting focus to the internet and apps.

Now, every start-up tech company dreaming of being the next big thing has one thing in common: they need to start off by getting themselves massively in debt. Because before you can turn a profit you need to first spend money on employees and spend money on equipment and spend money on data centers and spend money on advertising and spend money on scale and and and

But also, everyone wants to be on the ship for The Next Big Thing that takes off to the moon.

So there is a mutual interest between new tech companies, and venture capitalists who are willing to invest $$$ into said new tech companies. Because if the venture capitalists can identify a prize pig and get in early, that money could come back to them 100-fold or 1,000-fold. In fact it hardly matters if they invest in 10 or 20 total bust projects along the way to find that unicorn.

But also, becoming profitable takes time. And that might mean being in debt for a long long time before that rocket ship takes off to make everyone onboard a gazzilionaire.

But luckily, for tech startup bros and venture capitalists, being in debt in the 2010's was cheap, and it only got cheaper between 2010 and 2020. If people could secure loans for ~3% or 4% annual interest, well then a $100,000 loan only really costs $3,000 of interest a year to keep afloat. And if inflation is higher than that or at least similar, you're still beating the system.

So from 2010 through early 2022, times were good for tech companies. Startups could take off with massive growth, showing massive potential for something, and venture capitalists would throw infinite money at them in the hopes of pegging just one winner who will take off. And supporting the struggling investments or the long-haulers remained pretty cheap to keep funding.

You hear constantly about "Such and such app has 10-bazillion users gained over the last 10 years and has never once been profitable", yet the thing keeps chugging along because the investors backing it aren't stressed about the immediate future, and are still banking on that "eventually" when it learns how to really monetize its users and turn that profit.

The pandemic in 2020 took a magnifying-glass-in-the-sun effect to this, as EVERYTHING was forcibly turned online which pumped a ton of money and workers into tech investment. Simultaneously, money got really REALLY cheap, bottoming out with historic lows for interest rates.

Then the tide changed with the massive inflation that struck late 2021. Because this all-gas no-brakes state of things was also contributing to off-the-rails inflation (along with your standard-fare greedflation and price gouging, given the extremely convenient excuses of pandemic hardships and supply chain issues). The federal reserve whipped out interest rate hikes to try to curb this huge inflation, which is like a fire extinguisher dousing and suffocating your really-cool, actively-on-fire party where everyone else is burning but you're in the pool. And then they did this more, and then more. And the financial climate followed suit. And suddenly money was not cheap anymore, and new loans became expensive, because loans that used to compound at 2% a year are now compounding at 7 or 8% which, in the language of compounding, is a HUGE difference. A $100,000 loan at a 2% interest rate, if not repaid a single cent in 10 years, accrues to $121,899. A $100,000 loan at an 8% interest rate, if not repaid a single cent in 10 years, more than doubles to $215,892.

Now it is scary and risky to throw money at "could eventually be profitable" tech companies. Now investors are watching companies burn through their current funding and, when the companies come back asking for more, investors are tightening their coin purses instead. The bill is coming due. The free money is drying up and companies are under compounding pressure to produce a profit for their waiting investors who are now done waiting.

You get enshittification. You get quality going down and price going up. You get "now that you're a captive audience here, we're forcing ads or we're forcing subscriptions on you." Don't get me wrong, the plan was ALWAYS to monetize the users. It's just that it's come earlier than expected, with way more feet-to-the-fire than these companies were expecting. ESPECIALLY with Wall Street as the other factor in funding (public) companies, where Wall Street exhibits roughly the same temperament as a baby screaming crying upset that it's soiled its own diaper (maybe that's too mean a comparison to babies), and now companies are being put through the wringer for anything LESS than infinite growth that Wall Street demands of them.

Internal to the tech industry, you get MASSIVE wide-spread layoffs. You get an industry that used to be easy to land multiple job offers shriveling up and leaving recent graduates in a desperately awful situation where no company is hiring and the market is flooded with laid-off workers trying to get back on their feet.

Because those coin-purse-clutching investors DO love virtue-signaling efforts from companies that say "See! We're not being frivolous with your money! We only spend on the essentials." And this is true even for MASSIVE, PROFITABLE companies, because those companies' value is based on the Rich Person Feeling Graph (their stock) rather than the literal profit money. A company making a genuine gazillion dollars a year still tears through layoffs and freezes hiring and removes the free batteries from the printer room (totally not speaking from experience, surely) because the investors LOVE when you cut costs and take away employee perks. The "beer on tap, ping pong table in the common area" era of tech is drying up. And we're still unionless.

Never mind that last part.

And then in early 2023, AI (more specifically, Chat-GPT which is OpenAI's Large Language Model creation) tears its way into the tech scene with a meteor's amount of momentum. Here's Microsoft's prize pig, which it invested heavily in and is galivanting around the pig-show with, to the desperate jealousy and rapture of every other tech company and investor wishing it had that pig. And for the first time since the interest rate hikes, investors have dollar signs in their eyes, both venture capital and Wall Street alike. They're willing to restart the hose of money (even with the new risk) because this feels big enough for them to take the risk.

Now all these companies, who were in varying stages of sweating as their bill came due, or wringing their hands as their stock prices tanked, see a single glorious gold-plated rocket up out of here, the likes of which haven't been seen since the free money days. It's their ticket to buy time, and buy investors, and say "see THIS is what will wring money forth, finally, we promise, just let us show you."

To be clear, AI is NOT profitable yet. It's a money-sink. Perhaps a money-black-hole. But everyone in the space is so wowed by it that there is a wide-spread and powerful conviction that it will become profitable and earn its keep. (Let's be real, half of that profit "potential" is the promise of automating away jobs of pesky employees who peskily cost money.) It's a tech-space industrial revolution that will automate away skilled jobs, and getting in on the ground floor is the absolute best thing you can do to get your pie slice's worth.

It's the thing that will win investors back. It's the thing that will get the investment money coming in again (or, get it second-hand if the company can be the PROVIDER of something needed for AI, which other companies with venture-back will pay handsomely for). It's the thing companies are terrified of missing out on, lest it leave them utterly irrelevant in a future where not having AI-integration is like not having a mobile phone app for your company or not having a website.

So I guess to reiterate on my earlier point:

Drowned rats. Swimming to the one ship in sight.

#chrissy speaks #long post #-gestures broadly-

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