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lastsonlost · 4 years

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Seriously, what does this bitch have to do before people Stop defending her.

Amber Heard ridicules Johnny Depp for claiming he is a victim of domestic violence in an explosive tape recording, exclusively obtained by DailyMail.com

She says: 'Tell the world Johnny, tell them... I Johnny Depp, a man, I'm a victim too of domestic violence... and see how many people believe or side with you'

Heard adds: 'You're bigger and you're stronger... I was a 115lb woman... You're going to get up on the stand, Johnny, and say, ''she started it''? Really?'

'I have never been able to overpower you... there's a jury and there's a judge will see that there's a very big difference between me and you'

The divorcing couple spoke over the phone in June and July of 2016, with Heard ultimately yielding to Depp's plea to settle out of court for $7m

Their truce crumbled in December 2018 when Heard wrote an op-ed saying she was a domestic violence victim, although not naming anyone

Depp hit her with a $50m defamation suit, saying she implied he was the abuser, which caused him to lose his prized role of Captain Jack Sparrow

In their legal battle, both accused the other of domestic violence and DailyMail.com published a recording in which Heard confessed to 'hitting' Depp

Amber Heard ridicules Johnny Depp for claiming he is a victim of domestic violence in an explosive tape recording obtained by DailyMail.com - telling the Pirates of the Caribbean actor: 'See how many people believe you.'

The estranged couple were barred from talking to one another in May 2016 when Heard filed for divorce and sought a restraining order to escape her 'abusive' A-lister husband.

But the pair continued to clash over the phone, arguing bitterly about who was responsible for the blood-curdling violence that marred their toxic 15-month marriage and accusing one another of leaking to the press, DailyMail.com can reveal.

It's unclear if Heard realizes she is being taped during the expletive-flecked, 30-minute recording, the second bombshell audio released exclusively by DailyMail.com in the space of a week.

You are f**king killing me. Your f**king people are trying to kill me,' complains father-of-two Depp, as he begs Heard to go through private mediation rather than thrashing things out in open court.

'You've turned me into a... my boy goes to school and has kids go, so your f**king dad's a wife beater?'

Tearful Heard denies pushing Depp, 56, 'under a bus' and accuses the actor's associates of circulating details to the press of her arrest record and lurid rumors she was a stripper.

The 33-year-old actress also rejects accusations that she instigated the wild, physical violence that she pinned on Depp in divorce papers,

suggesting a court would be unlikely to take the side of a man over a slender female.

The full list of audio clips can be found in the Daily Mail article.....

Part 2

Do you know I'm a 115, well not anymore, but I was a 115lb, almost 115lb woman,' Heard protests. Adopting a jeering tone, she says: 'You're going to get up on the stand, Johnny, and say, she started it? Really?'

The former lovebirds spoke several times on the phone throughout June and July of 2016, skirting the restraining order by having a family member initiate the calls, according to a well-placed source.

Heard would ultimately yield to Depp's plea to settle out of court, retracting her allegations the following month as the pair announced a $7 million divorce settlement.

Their marriage was 'intensely passionate and at times volatile, but always bound by love,' according to a joint statement issued on August 16, 2016.

'There was never any intent of physical or emotional harm.'

The truce crumbled in December 2018, however, when Heard penned an op-ed for the Washington Post lamenting her experiences as an alleged domestic violence victim, though never naming anyone.

Heard is currently dating her new girlfriend Bianca Butti and was seen arriving at the 4th Annual Women's March in Downtown Los Angeles last month.

The actress has said she is bisexual and previously dated women, including photographer Tasya van Ree from 2008 to 2011.

Depp responded to Heard's op-ed last year with a $50 million defamation suit, saying the 'hoax' account implied he was the unnamed abuser and caused him to lose his prized role of Captain Jack Sparrow.

'Ms. Heard is not a victim of domestic abuse; she is a perpetrator,' his suit alleges, accusing his ex-wife of manufacturing evidence and faking injury photos.

Heard doubled down with a 300-page filing of her own, cataloging the years of abuse she suffered at the hands of 'the monster', whom she met on the set of The Rum Diary in 2011 and married in February 2015.

The actress stood by those claims last week when DailyMail.com published a separate recording from October 2015 in which she confessed to 'hitting' Depp as well as throwing pots, pans and vases at him.

"I'm sorry that I didn't, uh, uh, hit you across the face in a proper slap, but I was hitting you, it was not punching you. Babe, you're not punched,' Heard says on the tape, recalling an incident the previous night.

It's understood that she and Depp routinely recorded conversations consensually during the breakdown of their marriage, paving the way for yet more bombshell recordings to emerge.

The latest audio clip published by DailyMail.com begins with Depp imploring Heard to reach an out of court settlement rather than waging war in public.

It appears to have been taped at Depp's end of things and the conversation has already begun when the audio supplied to DailyMail.com begins.

'I've been through the f**king hurt. You've been through the f**king hurt. I love you more than anything in life,' he tells his soon-to-be ex-wife.

'I do not want to go into a f**king court with you. I do not want to f**king tarnish your name... I want this to be done peacefully, between us.

'And if you don't like the way that mediation is going, take me back to court kid. Cause I can't. 'This is the last f**king chance Amber. This is it. Once I file those papers we don't turn around man.'

Heard insists, however, that it's Depp's team who are refusing to mediate, refusing to sign a gag order and leaking damaging stories about her to the gossip site TMZ.

'Everything has been a defensive move because I'm being called a liar and a gold-digger,' she says.

'And I am not lying about any of this s**t, and I am not after a dime of your money.'

Depp suggests the pair should write a 'mutual letter' declaring that the divorce will be settled privately.

'Listen to me,' he warns the Hollywood beauty. 'Defending yourself by throwing someone under the bus is not going to look good.'

Heard fires back: 'It's not about that. It would not be about me throwing you under the bus.

'You know what it would be? It would be released through documented people, coming on the record, and, having the protection to do so, that haven't had yet.

'It would be eyewitness statements. It would be evidence. Tons of it. And it would be through years.'

Heard goes on to ridicule Depp's doubts over the facial injuries she turned up with at court when she applied for the restraining order on May 27, 2016.

She also claims to have a trove of incriminating texts, paraphrasing a message to her publicist Jodi Gottlieb ahead of an appearance on The Late Late Show with James Cordon: 'I think, I've had accident, um, I think I may have, I busted my nose and two black eyes tomorrow'.

She tells Depp: 'No one is going to believe that one of the two alternatives, that I'm in a fight club or I've been getting, going through hair and makeup. . .through all these years where I have corroborating text messages between people that match those dates of those time stamped validated photos.'

Heard warns Depp that her lawyers are urging her to make a formal police statement, saying that a criminal prosecutor told her it was 'most solid evidence, case of domestic violence case we've ever seen'.

She declined to do so, however, because she did not want to hurt Depp further,

Heard says, complaining that their public spat has already led to her receiving death threats.

The blonde actress also denies that it was her who rang the cops during the May 21, 2016 dust-up that took place the day before she filed for divorce.

Depp was accused of hurling a cellphone in Heard's face at their downtown Los Angeles loft but two LAPD officers later said in a deposition that they found nothing to suggest a crime took place.

The actor-musician reminds Heard about an incident in which his building manager, Travis, had 'to come up and f**king pull me away from you' though it's not clear which incident Depp is referring to.

Heard also refers to Depp's security guards, 'who by the way,' she says 'have said to me multiple times that I am going to get killed.'

She adds: 'I'm sorry because the last time it got crazy between us I really did think I was gonna lose my life. And I thought you would do it on accident.

'And I told you that. I said oh my god, I thought the first time.'

Depp replies: 'Amber, I lost a f**king finger man, c'mon. I had a f**king, I had a f**king mineral can, a jar, a can of mineral spirits thrown at my nose. '

Their exchange seems to refer to a violent incident that took place in Australia one month into their marriage in which Depp suffered a severed finger.

He claimed his then-wife 'went berserk' when he asked her to sign a 'postnup' agreement, hurling a Vodka bottle at him which shattered on a marble counter-top and ripped off the tip of his finger.

Heard maintains in court filings, however, that Depp cut the digit off himself during an argument while he was 'drunk and high on ecstasy.'

'You can please tell people that it was a fair fight, and see what the jury and judge thinks. Tell the world Johnny, tell them Johnny Depp, I Johnny Depp, a man, I'm a victim too of domestic violence,' she says on the tape.

'And I, you know, it's a fair fight. And see how many people believe or side with you.' Depp cuts in: 'It doesn't matter; fair fight my a**.'

Heard replies: 'Because you're big, you're bigger and you're stronger. And so when I say that I thought that you could kill me, that doesn't mean you counter with you also lost your own finger.

'I, I'm not trying to attack you here, I'm just trying to point out the fact of why I said call 911. Because I was, you had your hands on me after you threw a phone at my face.

'And it's got crazy in the past, and I truly thought I need to stop this madness before I get hurt.'

Seemingly stunned by his former flame's version of events, Depp can simply reply: 'Oh my god.'

He reminds his ex-wife that she will have to repeat her allegations under oath in court.

'Do you believe all this Amber? Do you believe all this,' Depp asks.

'Yes, the f**k, yes, yes,' Heard replies.

'Do you believe you're an abuser? he asks. 'Do you believe you abused me physically?'

Heard replies: 'Do you know I'm a 115, well not anymore, but I was a 115lb almost 115lb woman. . .have I ever been able to knock you off of your feet? Or knock you off balance?

'You're going to get up on the stand, Johnny, and say, ''she started it''? Really? I have never been able to overpower you that's the difference between me and you. . .and that's a difference, that's a whole world, and there's a jury and there's a judge will see that there's a very big difference between me and you.'

Depp finally seems to lose his cool when his ex-wife accuses him of spreading rumors she was a stripper, snapping: 'I will f**king see you in court.'

He adds: 'You don't want to make f**king nice nice? I'm trying. I'm trying.

'But you know what? I loved you for so many f**king years but you know what? You didn't exist. You don't exist. You're not there. You're not there.

'You are a f**king made up thing in my head. And I can't believe you are doing this to me.'

The 31-minute recording ends with Depp saying he needs a moment to himself before a door can be heard slamming in the background.

Heard has thus far failed to have her ex-husband's defamation case thrown out or moved from Virginia, where the Washington Post is based, to California. However she did succeed in having it pushed back from last December to August of this year.

Depp's attorney Adam Waldman confirmed the recorded conversation took place while Depp was subject to a restraining order but said Heard initiated the call.

'Ms Heard delivers a chilling message to Johnny Depp any real abuse survivor will instantly recognize: Nobody will believe you. So you better do what I want,' Waldman told DailyMail.com.

'Ms Heard may continue to masquerade as a 'survivor' but the audio tape speaks for itself.'

Heard legal team offered a radically different perspective when provided with a transcript of the tape recording by DailyMail.com, complaining the recording was taken without Heard's consent and was also 'doctored'.

DailyMail.com has decided to publish the audio in its entirety so readers can form their own opinions.

'The latest recording provided to the Daily Mail continues Mr. Depp's ongoing efforts to abuse Ms. Heard,' her spokeswoman said.

'On the transcript of this recording (which notes that it is only a portion of a longer conversation), Ms. Heard repeatedly makes it clear to Mr. Depp that he was physically violent and abusive, that she feared for her life, and that even Mr. Depp's own security guards told her that if she stayed in the relationship, 'she was going to get killed'.

'What is most important on the tape, however, is not what Mr. Depp says, but what he does not say - not once on the tape does he deny Ms. Heard's statements about his violent attacks and the damage they caused, including her broken nose and black eyes.

'In fact, Ms. Heard specifically recalls that during a portion of the conversation not provided to the Daily Mail, Mr. Depp asked Ms. Heard whether she was recording the call and when she answered that she was not, admitted that she was not lying about the fact that he had abused her. As a result, Mr. Depp's use of this doctored recording at this time is not only a fraud and a crime, but an act of desperation.'

Amber Heard's spokeswoman provided the following statement from Dr. Laura Brown, a trauma expert and former president of Society for the Psychology of Women:

'Abuse is attempting to control a victim by any means necessary, including pushing this kind of news story. It is not unusual for victims of physical and emotional abuse to respond by acting to defend themselves.

'But because intimate partner violence is about coercion and control every bit as much as it is about acts of violence, abusers often respond to these acts of self-defense with attempts to reassert control.

'They do so through attempts at coercion, which often include projecting accusations of abuse at their victims for having had the audacity to attempt to defend themselves.

'It is not unusual for the perpetrator of intimate partner violence to try to use the self-defense responses of their targets to claim the mantle of victimhood for themselves.

'This is classic DARVO- Defend, Avoid, Reverse Victim and Offender – the construct developed by Dr. Jennifer Freyd.

'When society and the media buy into these false abuser narratives, they are enabling the perpetrator to re-abuse the victim. We should not be fooled by a DARVO narrative.'

From the audio conversation..

'You're going to get up on the stand, Johnny, and say, ''she started it''?' Amber Heard and Johnny Depp clash over the phone during divorce

JOHNNY DEPP: But I'm telling you now, if I file, if they file the f**king papers tomorrow, which means the s**t I've got to file before we go to court on Friday, if they file those papers, first of all, it's very bad for both of us.

AMBER HEARD: Well, your people are not going to file anything that's bad for you, trust me.

JD: No, no what you're saying, you've got to do something to protect yourself which means throwing me under the bus for the, some video about me beating you?

AH: Not me. I have to respond. I mean I'll have to go and pursue, no I'll pursue the whole course of action, because here's what you don't understand. If, if we do this, and basically will know. I called my lawyers and I said why aren't we negotiating now, what's going on, where are we, and they're like everything's under court.

JD: No, they won't settle. Your agents won't settle. Your lawyers won't settle baby. I'm telling you.

AH: We want to mediate. We even have a mediator, found a mediator and everything. But that was all worked out. But the thing that Laura [Wasser, Depp's attorney] wouldn't agree to, she did not want to agree to a mutual gag order. That's the problem, she doesn't want the gag order, why Johnny? Why? Why wouldn't she? Why wouldn't she want both parties not to talk about this in the press?

AH: I just want you to know. I'm not doing anything and have not been doing any move. Look it up, the timeline. Nothing was on the offense. Everything has been a defensive move because I'm being called a liar and a gold-digger. And I am not lying about any of this s**t, and I am not after a dime of your money.

JD: It's hurting You. It's hurting You. And it's hurting me. But the worst f**king thing is (unintelligible). Do you want to go to court Amber? Seriously? Do you want to go to court with this? I'm offering you an opportunity for us to make this finish in peace. Peaceful, man. We walk away. You go do what you gotta do, I go do what I gotta do. I, I, I've been through the f**ing hurt. You've been through the f**king hurt. I love you more than anything in life. I do not want to go into a f**king court with you. I do not want to f**king tarnish your name. I do not want to f**king tarnish. I don't want nothing. I want this to be done peacefully, between us. And if you don't like the way that mediation is going, take me back to court kid. Cause I can't. This is the last f**king chance Amber. This is it. Once I file those papers we don't turn around man. I know you hate me, and I know you whatever, I'm telling you now, there's no call, it doesn't need to happen like this. Please, for f**ks sake trust me man.

JD: Continuing through court is going to end up nothing but bad for you, and for me. It's just going to be bad. In any case, no matter whether we ruin each other or not, it's going to be f**king heartbreaking, it's terrible. Let's write a mutual letter that says look, in lieu of what's transpiring out there in the world with all this f**king crazy s**t, we have decided to take this private. We're not going to go to court, right now, over this. We are going to try to work something out, together. And then at least, at the very f**king least. I know you want to respond, and I know you want to defend yourself. Listen to me. Defending yourself by throwing someone under the bus is not going to look good.

AH: I'm not. It's not about that. It would not be about me throwing you under the bus. You know what it would be? It would be released through documented people, coming on the record, and, having the protection to do so, that haven't had yet. It would be eyewitness statements. It would be evidence. Tons of it. And it would be through years. And it would be unbelievable. Unbelievable, um, to imagine that either I'm (a) in a secret fight club, or (b) I've had um...

JD: A secret what?

AH: A secret fight club. Or that I have been plotting to do this for three years, and, while taking pictures of it, and documenting it, just saving it up for the right time when I'm not asking for any money and have nothing financial to gain from it. But no one is going to believe that. No one is going to believe that one of the two alternatives, that I'm in a fight club or I've been getting, going through hair and makeup or going through makeup through all these years where I have corroborating text messages between people that match those dates of those time stamped validated photos of either corroboration between people hearing us.

AH: All of that won't be me throwing you under the bus, that will be evidence, in the case. Which I will have to, it will be criminal as well, because I cannot go on Friday and file without filing a police statement first. And the only reason I haven't filed a police statement, which has been used against me by the way, every day, and the only reason I won't do it, haven't done it, is because I don't want to hurt you and that means it goes out of my hands and every, we had a third party guy, a third party prosecutor come and a criminal lawyer come, and they went, the problem is hearing from you like your biggest struggle, this is just, is that it is the most solid evidence, case of domestic violence case we've ever seen. And if you get this over to them or any part of it they will prosecute him. And I felt like, I would never want that. For you. Because I don't even, it's hard for me, I don't even call myself, like, in my head it's hard for me to even accept any sort of victimdom, ever. And I don't want to hurt you.

JD: I understand. I understand. And I don't want to hurt you either. I'm only going to say this. I love you. I love you. I've always loved you. And I know that, look, you do whatever you feel you have to do. I'm telling you now it's a mistake to go to court. If you want to go to court, we'll go to court. I would rather take care of it in a different way, I think it would be very good for you, and it would be very good for me. But you know what?

AH: I've been called a liar.

JD: Baby, you know what?

AH: And I've been called a golddigger.

JD: Baby. Baby. Amber, I didn't call you those things. I didn't call you those things.

JD: It's been going on too long Amber and we've got to stop this. It's got to stop it.

AH: I don't know how to get my reputation back.

JD: We write a letter together. Saying that we are going to take this out of the public eye. Saying that we are going to try and work this out on our own. Saying that the media has created such a f**king hateful storm that it's sickening. That we love each other. And that we want to make sure each other's OK. Have we had fights in the past, have we had this or whatever, f**k it, whatever, they already know all that s**t, it don't matter. Here's the deal.

AH: Oh, it matters. I have been, I have been, you have no idea, every ounce of my credibility has been taken from. And done so in a dishonest way. You know.

JD: Amber, the abuse, the abuse thing is, is we've got to deal with that, yeah. We've got to deal with that Amber.

AH: We don't have any way of, my credit, It's my credibility.

JD: Then why did you put that out there?

AH: I did not. You forced me, your team, forced me to by going on the offense.

AH: Well I'm sorry. I'm sorry because the last time it got crazy between us I really did think I was gonna lose my life. And I thought you would do it on accident. And I told you that. I said oh my god, I thought the first time.

JD: Amber, I lost a f**king finger man, c'mon. I had a f**king, I had a f**king mineral can, a jar, a can of mineral spirits thrown at my nose.

AH: You can please tell people that it was a fair fight, and see what the jury and judge thinks.

Tell the world Johnny, tell them Johnny Depp, I JOHNNY DEPP, A MAN, I'M A VICTIM TOO OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

JD: Yes.

AH: And I, you know, it's a fair fight. And see how many people believe or side with you.

JD: It doesn't matter, fair fight my a**.

AH: That's exactly. Because your big, you're bigger and you're stronger. And so when I say that I thought that you could kill me, that doesn't mean you counter with you also lost your own finger. I, I'm not trying to attack you here, I'm just trying to point out the fact of why I said call 911. Because I was, you had your hands on me after you threw a phone at my face. And it's got crazy in the past, and I truly thought I need to stop this madness before I get hurt.

JD: Oh my god.

AH: And I never think about myself that way. I never defend myself that way. I never see myself as a victim.

JD: There's also Travis coming to get me, there's Travis having to come up and f**king pull me away from you.

JD: You're going to have to do this under oath too you know.

AH: I will because the unfortunate part is I can talk about all of this.

JD: Do you believe all this Amber? Do you believe all this?

AH: Yes, the f**k, yes, yes.

JD: You believe I'm an abuser?

AH Yes.

JD: You believe I'm an abuser?

AH: In May, In December, in, in April

JD: Do you believe you're an abuser?

AH: No.

JD: Do you believe you abused me physically?

AH: Do I physically believe, I mean do I believe I physically abused you?

JD: Yes?

AH: Do you know I'm a 115, well not anymore, but I was a 115lb almost 115lb woman and you have the capacity...

JD: That's not the question. That's not the question.

AH: Have I ever been able to knock you off of your feet? Or knock you off balance?

JD: You started. You started these things.

AH: You're going to get up on the stand, Johnny, and say, 'she started it'? Really? I have never been able to overpower you that's the difference between me and you.

JD: Why did you try?

AH: And that's a difference, that's a whole world, and there's a jury and there's a judge will see that there's a very big difference between me and you.

JD: You cannot automatically, you cannot think that it's just my side. You are f**king killing me. Your f**king people are trying to kill me. You've turned me into a, my boy has to go to school, my boy goes to school and has kids go 'so your f**king dad's a wifebeater'? You don't think about that Amber.

AH: You don't think also my family, and all the death threats? Me and every single person in my immediate circle of friends and family is getting also matters? And you don't think I, you don't think I?

JD: Death threats?!!

AH: Your people put this out. Why, why, why, why did your security go on the record and lie? Why, that's a proactive measure. Why did your divorce attorney get to file for divorce period? At all? Second, why did she have to go and leak to TMZ? Why if you wanted it private, is TMZ being fed information literally by Laura Wasser and Marty Singer every step of the way? My, my my my arrest records. Who put that in the media? The rumors that I was a stripper? Or, of course I can expect that. I've known every step of the way, every single step of the way everything you give 'em.

JD: I give 'em? I give 'em? That's it. I give 'em? I'll see you in court. No. I'll f**king see you in court. I will f**king see you in court. I never f**king said that. I never told anyone that. You f**king trusted me with that and I never f**king told anyone that. And you know what, Amber?

AH: Thank you.

JD: This is not, no, this is me. This is me saying I tried. And thank you. And I will see you in f**king court. You don't want to make f**king nice nice? I'm trying. I'm trying. But you know what? You, I loved you for so many f**king years but you know what? You didn't exist. You don't exist. You're not there. You're not there. You are a f**king made up thing in my head. And I can't believe you are doing this to me.

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journal-of-an-outlaw · 4 years

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Price to be Paid - Chapter 31

Wahoo my favorite chapter, read on AO3

The bliss from your wedding could only last so long, and you knew that, but it didn’t lessen the blow when things had to return to normal.

“This is it, Dutch, our last big score!”

Hosea had poured over a map of Saint Denis for days mapping every possible route into the bank, the job Dutch claimed over and over was going to save the gang.

“I’m telling you, this is the way to do the job. The best way! The distraction will buy you all the time you need.”

Arthur groaned from underneath you. You had fallen asleep in the morning sun and the voices from downstairs carried far too much for your liking, waking you up to the harsh light of day.

“All they talk about lately is that damn job,” Arthur muttered. “If I heard ‘Saint Denis bank’ one more time I am going to lose it.”

“Arthur!” Dutch yelled from the bottom of the stairs. “Get down here, we need your help with this.”

The past few weeks since your wedding had been as blissful as they could when you lived with a large group of people on the run from the law. You and Arthur had enjoyed many free days where no one asked a thing of you. The lake was the perfect spot for picnics and more than once Arthur had suggested you slip away and relax at the water side. It was perfect and everything you could hope it would be.

But all good things had to end.

“I’m coming! Arthur hollered back. He groaned as he sat up and you decided it was best to greet the day as well.

“You know they trust you, that’s what they’re trying to say,” you spoke as you dressed.

“They sure have a strange way of showing it.”

You were quick to follow Arthur down the stairs, greeting folks as they passed. Most were still rubbing the sleep from their eyes or drinking a cup of coffee.

“I...I don’t like it.”

Dutch’s hesitation was palpable. For days he had been telling Hosea something about this job felt off, his intuition saying this was not the way. It struck you as odd because Dutch had been searching for one more score, one big was out and when presented with the idea he shrugged it off.

You leaned against the doorframe watching Arthur approach the bickering old men. They went back and forth, agreeing and disagreeing about the best way to proceed.

“It’s the right plan. We’ve done the work. I’ve been in town, looking, watching and waiting. I’ve tested it as well as I can. It’s the right plan.”

“I know,” Dutch chucked at how worked up Hosea had become. “I know. But between us, I’m...nervous. I suppose that’s it.”

Hosea placed a hand on Dutch’s shoulder and squeezed. “You’re never nervous, that’s been my job all these years.”

It was clear Hosea was leading this robbery. He had timed the whole operation out and wanted it to move like clockwork, each cog and arm greased up and ready to go. You could see a younger man shining through; one who spent days and weeks putting heists together, using each member of the gang in s specific sequence so everything would be just right.

As the three men got to talking, Micah walked in and watched behind you. It was unpleasant to have him over your shoulder but you remembered your vow to keep the peace with him as best you could.

“What’re they planning in there?”

“Bank job. Last one to get us out of here,” you responded softly.

“The big bank? In Saint Denis?” Micah scoffed. “That’s one lofty goal for our ragtag crew, don’t you think?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know, Hosea has it all planned out. What could go wrong?”

“Oh, girlie, there’s plenty could go wrong. But let’s hope none of it does and we make out on top.” Micah shot you a wink that made you shutter and walked back out the front doors, taking off for somewhere or something in town.

“Every plan is a good plan if we execute it properly. Every problem we ever had was because we did not execute properly.”

Hosea spoke impassioned. He needed Dutch to see he was right.

“You’re right.” Dutch stood dramatically and looked between his lifelong partners in crime. “Let’s rob this bastard. We’ll leave tomorrow morning. Look smart. Travel light.”

The leader passed you with a half smile before going to track down Mrs. Grimshaw and Pearson to tell them of the new plan. At least we had some notice this time and didn’t have to throw everything around in a hurry.

Arthur asked you to help clean the room and you packed together, chatting to keep the nerves away. There had been a moment where he wanted you to go with Hosea and stay away from the action but you refused; if your husband was going in so were you. He didn’t fight you on that very long.

The thought of leaving Shady Belle filled you with melancholy. It was strange to think that one building could hold so many memories from just a short time. The gang really hadn’t been there that long but they had managed to make a lasting impact that could be seen as you walked the halls for one of the last times. You had to look forward; things would be better. How much more suffering and pain could one group take?

You found Abigail playing outside with Jack later in the evening, staring up at the night sky and admiring the stars. You plopped down next to her and tilted your own head back, thinking about the heavens.

“You ever wonder if our destinies are planned?”

“I sure hope not. To think that someone put all of this together for us means we have no free will, no choice would be our own. And they would put us through all that pain!”

“Sometimes...I guess it’s just nice to think that I wasn’t the one who made all the mistakes in my life. That I could blame someone else for the way things turned out.”

Abigail spoke in hushed tones but never looked down from the sky. Her words echoed in your mind.

“Your life isn’t full of mistakes, it’s full of love.”

“Yeah,” she snorted. “Sometimes a bit too much love if you know what I mean.”

She and John had been fighting again. From your shared room with Arthur you could hear them through the walls going on about raising Jack and trying to show him a better life.

“Jack will be just fine, he’s got a lot of us who care. And so will you. You know I’ll never leave, you’ve got a friend for life.” You wrapped your arm around her shoulders and sat like that, enjoying the view and marveling at the size of the world around you.

It was hard to sleep that night.

You tossed and turned with anticipation of the next day, knowing everything would be different after the sun rose up in the sky. It could be a good change; like fire burning away the underbrush to allow for new life. Or it could be disastrous.

The dichotomy of the choices made you restless.

Arthur shook your shoulder gently that it was time to go. It was much too early, and the terrible night of sleep made it hard to drag your body from the warm bed and you tossed it a sad smile knowing it was the last time you would see the room you called home.

The look on your face must have told Arthur something for he gave your hand a squeeze after you met him at the bottom of the stairs.

“You know what?” He looked at you softly. “At the end of today, we’re going to look back and know we did everything right. We faced the day together as wife and husband. I’m never letting you go.”

With a kiss to your hand you felt your confidence rise back into place. All it needed was a boost from Arthur. Today was going to go smoothly, nothing could bring you down from the high of life you were riding.

Everyone was dressed to the nines. Fine black suits with hats for the men, and clean flowing gowns adorned every woman. It was almost as if you were headed to a Sunday mass instead of a bank robbery. Even Jack had found a flower to stick in his coat pocket.

“You got everything Arthur?” Dutch called as he handed Hosea a suitcase to load into a wagon.

Arthur nodded. “Sure, house is cleared out of everything we could grab.”

“Just think!” Hosea spoke up brightly. “Within six weeks we’ll be living life anew in a tropical idyll spending the last of our days as banana farmers?”

The plan was for Hosea and Abigail to serve as the distraction. On their wagon sat crates of dynamite that when lit, would bring enough police attention that the robbery in town wouldn’t be able to pull them all away, giving the group enough time to slip out unnoticed. Hosea had looked over the details for days on end and everyone trusted him to know this plan backwards and forwards, no small part missed.

You were riding in and acting with the robbery. At first, Arthur had asked that you go with Hosea and Abigail for they were far less likely to be caught. But to you that was out of the question. Now that you and Arthur were married you didn’t want him running off into battle alone, something you had to repeat over and over before Hosea finally relented and added you to the bank detail. It just made sense that you would be there.

With your nerves shoved to the back of your mind, you sat next to Arthur on Eclipse as Zues stamped his feet anxiously.

“Let’s get out of this god forsaken place and go rob ourselves a bank!”

A chorus of cheers rang out as the gang envisioned what life could be like after today. No more running and hiding, no more threats from the law, no more being told that their way of life was wrong or backwards, just freedom and the incredible feeling of hot sand between your toes.

You were more than ready to be out of this place.

Micah led the group up and out of Shady Belle, the horses moving much quicker than the wagons. It was slightly comical to watch a large group in impressive threads leave such a ratty and worn down home. Over the past few weeks you decided firmly that sleeping with four walls around you was a comfort you preferred.

“This is it, ladies and gentlemen! The last one.”

Dutch was gearing up for a big speech as he rode behind Micah.

“Where have we heard that one before?” John asked, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

“What has happened to you, John? You lost all your heart.”

“I’m just trying to stay real about all of this.”

“Real!” Dutch spit. “Oh how I detest that word. So devoid of imagination.”

The group rode over the railroad tracks and your heartbeat started to pick up. This was real, you were taking part in a bank robbery. Oh if only your father could see you now. The lawman’s rebel daughter.

“How soon are we shipping out?” Micah called from somewhere ahead.

Dutch replied, “As soon as we get the passage organized. A boat down to Argentina, then another around the cape.”

“What about the money in Blackwater? We’re just gonna leave that behind?”

“Forget that, it's gone.” Dutch swiped a fly and the question away. “You all talk like it’s the only goddamned money in the world. We’re gonna take that and more, take it from the people who take it from us. This isn’t some hick town, hundred dollar operation. This is a big city bank!”

“Right,” John broke in. “With security, guards, police.”

“Hosea has done his reconnaissance, we’ve been over this.” Dutch almost sounded tired. “The plan. One last time. Hosea and Abigail will draw out the police, we go in fast and calm. John and Lenny, secure the front doors. Javier takes the side exit. Bill, Micah, YN, and Charles, control the crowd. Me and Arthur deal with the bank manager and the vault. Got it?”

Everyone agreed that they did. Most of the other women were leaving with the camp supplies and not participating, and the look Dutch gave you was not lost as he took in his crew.

Hosea reckoned they needed about fifteen minutes to set the distraction with Abigail and pull enough police and that sounded fine by Dutch. As the others rode off with the wagons, Sadie threw you a smile of encouragement and you spurred Eclipse on to keep up with the others. Nothing, not even your nerves, would hold you back from this job.

Arthur had talked about when to tell Dutch that maybe sailing to another part of the world was not in the cards for you two, but it still hadn’t come up. Before the bank job seemed a poor choice as it would only take away Dutch’s focus, so tentatively the plan was set for later. There was a lot to think about lately and that was just another worry to add to the pile.

“Everybody know the drill! We head in hard and stay calm. They won’t be expecting us. Any minor trouble, head back to camp. We’ll leave in a few days.”

Your nerves must have really been showing through as even Micah threw you a half grin. It wasn’t pleasant, but you accepted it nonetheless.

Bill and Charles rode ahead to break up the group, hoping that it wouldn't look like a giant posse riding in together. The five of you left held back a few minutes and then rode into town, through the gates of Saint Denis and into the belly of the beast. You couldn't tell if your shaking hands had more to do with being on horseback or the impending mission, but you steeled them to stay still as you moved through the streets.

Arthur pulled Zeus back and rode next to you.

“How’re you doing?”

Despite the bundle of nerves moving through your veins you had to smile. Arthur was clearly a bit worked up about the whole thing too; his words had a slight twang to them as he spoke.

“Oh, I’m fine. I remember what you taught me. Just…” you looked around and remembered the first time you marveled at Saint Denis. “What if something happens?”

“It won’t, I promise you’ll be safe. Hosea went over this so many times he knew we had to get it right.”

You nodded. You had heard him mumbling the details for days.

Before you could respond your destination came into view and your mouth went dry. Lemoyne National Bank. The imposing building stood nearly three stories high with gold and white paint covering the exterior. The sun beating down was hot and you wiped beads of sweat off your brow after hitching Eclipse up next to Arthur and Bill.

Charles made his way over. “Just wanted to say good luck. I know you’ll be fine, but...you know.”

You smiled at your friend. His words brought you comfort even though they were minimal, but knowing Charles this was the equivalent of a long speech. You patted his arm in thanks and followed the group over to Dutch.

“Foks. Robbing thieves, it ain’t no crime at all. People like this...they stole what this country could have been.” The men grunted in agreeance. “Now, act natural. Wait for Hosea to do his thing.”

As a trolley rolled slowly in front of you Arthur took your hand in his.

“Now, it ain’t too late and no one would say a thing if you decided to leave. I’ll put you on this trolley and collect you myself as soon as we’re done and we can leave; put this city behind us and head off to freedom. You just have to say the word.”

You searched Arthur’s eyes and saw nothing but love and worry. The beautiful way the blue and green and maybe in the right light grey mixed together filled you with happiness and you knew your answer before speaking. On your tiptoes, you pressed a kiss to Arthur’s cheek and beamed at him.

“You know I’m staying. I’ll be right at your side.”

Just as Arthur opened his mouth to speak the ground shook violently below you. You grabbed Arthur’s arm for support as the screams and voices rose through the city.

Dutch let out a full laugh. “I love that Hosea! He’s a true artist.”

And with that, he led the way across the road and into Lemoyne National Bank.

You pulled your mask up over your face, hands still slightly shaking. Javier whispered something before slipping around the corner to guard the side door, and on his signal Dutch burst through the bank doors, pistols drawn.

“Ladies and gentlemen! This is a hold up.”

The room was filled with screams and the bustling of shoes on the tile as you aimed your gun at the innocent folks going about their day, corralling them back into an office to be locked up and unable to disrupt the robbery in progress. Bill was stuck with a particularly loud customer, so you poked the end of your gun into his back to shut him up, shoving him into the room. You got a grunt of thanks from Bill as he locked the doors.

“Arthur! We have found the manager. Would you kindly have him open the vault?”

A man dressed in a long purple coat shook like a leaf as he twisted and turned the dial to find the correct combination. He looked around the room for any willing pair of eyes but no one was able to help, simply sneered as he pleaded silently with Arthur’s gun only inches away from his face.

The air was tense around you as John and the others patrolled the entryway. All of them were on the lookout for anything suspicious outside, any sign that this wasn’t going to work. But it had to. It simply had to; this was much too large of a show to go off with a hitch.

A loud scraping sound resonated as the vault door creaked open with the poor bank manager pulling as hard as he could. Arthur cast you a look before heading in, his brow filled with worry to get this over with as soon as possible. You sent him a small smile, hoping he could read it under your bandana, and nodded for him to go on.

Anxiety pumped through you. The bank manager stood outside and at Bill’s command called out the combination, his legs shaking from the stress. The seconds ticking away felt like hours and you wanted nothing more than to run away from all of this mess.

“We got trouble! Looks like the law.”

Your head whipped around at John’s yell. His voice was tense and Dutch ran over to get a good look at the situation with anger and fear in his eyes. The others were quickly behind him.

Everyone knew this operation had to be executed precisely. Anything short of perfection would mean failure and a real risk of death. With Hosea’s attention to detail and the way everyone knew their part Dutch had been confident this would go off without any problems. He already felt the warm, island air rustling through his hair, the grainy, hot sand beneath his feet, and the sweet, sticky mango juice bursting in his mouth. This was going to work. This had to work. Because if it didn’t, there was no way out.

Unfortunately Dutch didn’t count on your father.

“Come out! It’s over!”

No, no, no, no. Not him, not now. Your heart pounded in your chest so hard you were sure the others heard it, and at the same time your stomach dropped down to your feet. How on Earth had he found you?

John said something about Abigail but a rushing sound filled your ears and you couldn’t make it out. Everyone had pressed themselves up against the wall in cover and you did the same, hoping you would be able to act when it came down to it.

“Dutch! Get out here. Get out here now!”

A silence fell over the bank. Agent Milton walked out from behind a wagon across the street brandishing a pistol that was shoved into the back of Hosea’s head. Dutch let out a groan.

“Someone must have squealed!”

“We never should have gone after Bronte, Dutch,” John spat. His eyes were on the mother of his child just beyond his reach.

“Mr. Milton?” Dutch’s voice lost its usual silk and instead was filled with fear, cracking slightly. “Let my friend go. Or folks are gonna get shot unnecessarily.”

“Your friend? Why would I do that?” Your father’s voice was loud and full of confidence. It sent slivers of fear through your spine as your mind raced.

“C’mon, Milton!”

“It’s over! No more bargains, no more deals.”

“Mr. Milton, this is America. You can always cut a deal.”

He was reaching his finale. Your father always loved making a show of capturing ‘the bad guys’ and you knew from his stance that you were running low on time. If someone didn’t do something Hosea would be dead, the rest of you following shortly.

“Hey girly, remember way back when you and I made a deal?” Micah was standing much too close to your back for comfort and in your agitated state you tried to shake him off. This only made him mad and he grabbed your arm tightly in his grip. “You owe me, I’m cashing in. Only one way this thing and it’s with you outside of those doors while we escape.”

“What?” you asked, your mind racing and unable to comprehend his request.

“Daddy Dearest is out there about to blow us all to hell. We need a distraction and you are the golden ticket.”

You froze. Micah was asking, no, telling you to sacrifice yourself on the slim chance your father wouldn't kill you on sight. It was insanely risky, but it would give the gang and the people you had grown to love a chance, albeit slim, to get away safely. All around you were the tense faces of people who had time and time again proven they were good and loving, more than you could ever say for your own father who stood on the other side of the street with the power of the law behind him. In a way, you felt this had always been coming. Rushing towards you like a train in the night. Eventually it would have to reach its destination. Your hands shook as you realized that this might be the only plan, and you couldn’t risk the chance of your newfound family dying because you weren’t brave enough. Your father wouldn't listen to anyone else and as the seconds melted away you steeled yourself against the tide that would surely try and knock you over.

“Well?” Micah shook you impatiently.

You looked around. Dutch, Bill, Lenny, John, Javier...Arthur. These were people you would gladly sacrifice yourself for. Memories came flooding back of sitting around the campfire singing, hours spent in the fields hunting, and the times you and Abigail laughed yourselves silly. Your eyes watered at the thought of leaving, but it had to be done.

“I’ll do it,” you spoke quietly. “But I have one request.”

“And what’s that?”

Micah had started making his way to the door and Arthur, noticing you moving about, was heading towards you too. You met his eyes for a moment and you swore he knew what you were about to do. His footsteps picked up and you had to act.

Leaving him was of course the hardest. Never had you imagined a love so brilliant and bright, and knowing that you were willingly throwing it all away tore you apart. The ring on your finger felt heavy with guilt but you clutched your gun tighter until Micah tore it from your hands. Arthur opened his mouth to whisper something and you knew waiting would make it worse.

“Tell Arthur I love him.”

“I’ll be sure to do that,” Micah snorted and unceremoniously shoved you outside the giant bank doors before slamming them shut. Something on the other side slammed against them and you guessed it was Arthur, livid at the unexplained sight. A voice yelled something and then everything went quiet, and you looked up at the scene before you.

Hosea stood in the middle of the street covered in dust and watching you with worried eyes. He shook his head slightly, telling you to leave, but you cast him a watery smile of reassurance.

Behind him every gun held by the Pinkerton Detective agents was trained on you and ready to fire. You looked up and down the line realizing just how many there were. This had to be a set up, no one was ready that fast.

A strangled cry that turned into a laugh came from the head Detective. He took a faltering step forward, then looked at you with utter bewilderment.

“Put your guns down,” he said. The detectives looked over at him confused. “I said put them down!”

“Sir?” questioned one of the men to his side.

“Because…” Agent Milton spoke slowly, still trying to process the change in events unfolding before him.

You placed both hands up in the air and spoke with much more confidence than you felt.

“Because I’m his daughter.” You looked directly at him, taking a deep breath before saying, “Hello, Father. Good to see you.”

#price to be paid #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #fanfic #female reader

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annoyinglyjovialbird · 4 years

Text

Voltron: Next Generation

Nuclear Decisions: III

Word Count: 2177

AN: It’s a little shorter today, but I hope you find the end well worth it. :)

As Yorak finished his comment, Kova began resisting. She pulled back from Yorak’s grip, physically leaning back and away. Yorak smiled like he knew this was going to happen. His grip on her arm grew tighter as his knee pushed the back of hers. Kova fell on the ground hard, shaking her arms in vain.

“Now, now, Kyla,” Yorak said like he was speaking to a child. “You better stop now unless you want your precious team blown into atoms.” Kova panted, pushing back one last time until her body sagged. She was hauled up to standing and pushed towards a heavy metal door. Yorak turned to Kova, smiling widely at the glaring girl. “I’m releasing you. You better not do something you’ll regret.” Kova nodded as the violet cuffs faded, falling to the floor with heavy, echoing thuds. Vhix appeared from behind, taking Yorak’s place on Kova’s upper arm.

Together, the trio marched up a set of stairs on the other side of the metal door. It opened, and the bright lights briefly blinded the teen. Within a minute, Kova could see again. The entire crew of the ship she was on was standing below in perfect squares, looking up at the trio as they walked in. Huge screens were on two of the walls, showing a better view of the balcony they were on. A screen appeared in front of the balcony as Yorak approached. He smiled smugly as the telecommunication started with a swipe of his finger.

On the Coeus, every screen on board had tuned itself to the incoming transmission. The same happened at the Garrison, where the programmers who trained to take care of unauthorized transmissions like this set to work. Unfortunately, the head programmer was on vacation and the team couldn’t get through the Garrison’s firewall. The Garrison was the only place on Earth that received the transmission, but that was enough to send panic through Curtis’s heart.

“Ladies and gentlemen of our lovely universe,” Yorak said, stepping forward to become more prominent on the balcony. “Today, you are witnessing a historic event. One that can change the universe as we know it."

Shiro had ordered everyone on the Coeus to report to the bridge. Keith, of course, didn’t listen, charging towards the transport bay. While he hadn’t been under supervised care in awhile, he was still recovering. Before he could even leave the transport bay in the MFE jet, the quick lapse in oxygen knocked him out. Shiro and Liz found him and hauled him back to the observation room. He would be fine. He just needed to rest.

"The Fire has long remained in the darkest corners after a humiliating defeat and highly publicized death of our founder and first Emperor. I, Emperor Yorak, am now changing that.” Vhix pulled Kova along so she was sandwiched in between Yorak and Vhix. “The Fire is finally ready to make our grand premiere, with Voltron supporting our cause.” He gestured to Kova, who sneered. “My brother, Commander of the colonies, my sister, the leader of Voltron, and I swear to make the universe equal and whole. A balance that should’ve been since the beginning.” Vhix stepped forward, kicking Kova’s foot forward so they were closer to the screen. Kova’s fists began shaking with anger as Vhiz took the stand.

“Imagine the possibilities of an equal and balanced world. The doors that will open to all those who join us in our cause.” For a brief minute, Vhix let go of Kova to make wide hand gestures. She took a step back so that she could look over Yorak’s shoulder. “Voltron stands with us. You will too."

"No.” Kova stared directly at the screen. “We don’t.” With a right hook, Kova’s right fist connected with Yorak’s jaw, making him fall onto the ground. With a quick turn on the ball of her foot, she knees Vhix in the stomach, also making him fall. Yorak tried to stand, but he slips on the topmost step on the staircase and falls backward. Vhix didn’t have the same luck, so Kova kicked him down the other set of stairs. She turned to look forward, where her face was projected onto large screens. Her eyes look shocked, then determined.

“My name is Kovalia, and yes, I am the leader of Voltron. My team has remained hidden for the past few weeks, but we have used our time to train and prepare ourselves to defend our home. My parents formed the Galactic Coalition in their prime, and I am not going to let anyone, friend or foe, destroy something I swore to protect. To everyone who stands on the side of good, of peace, I ask you to stand with Voltron. With us. To those who stand with the Fire, be prepared for war.” With that, Kova slashed her fingers through the air to cut off the connection. By that point, the soldiers down below had begun to find their way up the staircase. Kova climbed onto the wide railing of the balcony and jumped over the balcony railing before anyone could reach her.

Her jetpacks were a godsend as she landed harmlessly on the ground below. As soon as her feet met the ground, Kova ran towards the huge doors that the soldiers were running out of. Several of them tried catching her but met the business end of her bayard. The weapon had morphed itself into a long vaulting pole. With a push, Kova vaulted over the soldiers, and the bayard morphed in mid-air. It became a small stun gun, to which Kova used to shock the door’s control. She didn’t take a second look, dashing down the hall. Through a matter of twists and turns, Kova found herself in the same area she had found herself the last time she was kidnapped. The doors refused to open, welded shut.

“Halt!” Someone said behind Kova. She turned to stare at half a dozen soldiers pointing the barrels of their weapons at her. “Surrender!"

Kova was panting in her helmet, slowly putting her hands up. Her bayard morphed again, turning into the long curved sword. With a swing, the barrels of the three weapons directly in front of had fallen off, the cut so clean, it could’ve been done with a razor. With two hands now on the hilt, Kova widened her stance, ready to fight.

A heavy thud sounded on the outside of the door, throwing everyone off balance. A heavier thud and an imprint on the metal door was the only warning Kova had to get out of the way. Diving into a barrel roll, she held onto the frame of the door as a third hit from outside revealed the Lion. Yellow’s head bursts through the heavy metal. With a deafening roar, Yellow extracted itself from the ruins as someone complained about just replacing the door. Kova ran to the opening and dove out. Red opened its jaws and ate Kova whole. Quick as can be, Kova ran to the cockpit of the Red Lion, where Caleb was navigating Red back to the Coeus.

"Where’s Black?” Caleb asked.

“No clue.” Kova was panting, staring at the large ship that she had just escaped from. “They have multiple holding bays."

"We can’t check them all.” Caleb agreed with Kova’s train of thought. “Griffin, use the BLIP. Try to find the Black Lion.”

“On it,” Liz replied, directing Green far away from the ship so it could properly scan it. “Large number of guards in bay three.”

“Got it.” Red flew towards the ship again, but Kova put a hand on Caleb’s shoulder.

“Bay three has low-grade explosives."

"How do you know?” Kova opened a screen on her arm, showing a picture of the ship map time-stamped on the day Kova was kidnapped the first time. With a swipe, Kova sent the image to the other Lions.

“Bays three to six hold all explosives for the entire ship,” Kova explained, highlighting the respective bays. “I escaped from bay two, a transport bay."

"What are we supposed to do, then?”

“Leave the LIon."

"What?” Caleb turned to give Kova an incredulous face. If they didn’t have the Black Lion, they couldn’t form Voltron.

“We have to.” Caleb tried to fight her, but as he continued thinking it over, he agreed with an exasperated sigh.

“Team, retreat. Coeus, open a wormhole.” The Coeus opened a wormhole, slowly creaking its way through as the cannon on the front end of Yorak’s ship charged up. By the time it was ready to fire, the Coeus and the Lions were long gone.

Onboard, Shiro said nothing as the teens filed past. Four of them went to their rooms, and one went to the bridge. Shiro eventually followed the teen as she removed her helmet to reveal her bright green hair. The teen stared at the bayard in her hand, a remnant of the Lion she had lost. That realization struck her deep. Kova, the jack of all trades, the pride of the Garrison, had lost.

Shiro approached the teen from behind, placing a warm hand on her shoulder. Kova turned to meet Shiro’s sympathetic eyes, causing tears to fall from Kova’s eyes. With arms wrapped around Shiro’s large waist, she let the silent tears shed. Shiro patted the back of Kova’s head with his human hand, letting the robotic one turn off the lights in the bridge. While he said nothing, Kova could understand his meaning behind it all.

It wasn’t her fault. She did what she could.

Shiro led the teen back to her room, where she slept like a baby with the reassurance on her mind. Like a mantra, she repeated it over and over. It’s not my fault.

————————

In the distance, far away from the Coeus, further away from the colonies Yorak mentioned before, someone important watched the footage, too. Their face was partially obscured by the shadows in the room as they rewinded and played Kova’s speech over and over again. Specifically, the scene before the footage cut out. The glare on Kova’s shield made it impossible to see her at times, but in that quick second, her entire face was on display, albeit obscured slightly by the helmet.

Over and over, the shadowed individual played the second. There was something about the girl’s eyes that stuck familiar. The way her dark eyebrows pinched together as her amber eyes filled with determination. While her hair was completely covered by the helmet, it could only be assumed her hair matched her eyebrows. Yorak and the Fire had been watched for months, to the point where there were several moles in various ranks throughout the organization. Yorak had referred to Vhix as his brother, already known as a fact by the individual, but he referred to the girl as his sister.

More details about the girl began to become more apparent to the shadowed person. How the girl’s eyes weren’t as sharp as once thought, they held the same fiery spirit. Her chin and nose were more pointy, likely coming from her mother. Her armor and helmet were signatures of Voltron Paladins, leaving a small space at the bottom to allow her to talk. Her skin tone didn’t match either parent, but this was suspected to be from other causes. Her name was the nail in the coffin. While her suspected surname didn’t match any records, the unique first name she used did.

Kovalia.

With a press of a button, the individual opened a second screen with the image of a young girl. The little girl was seated in between a man and a woman with small smiles, but expressionless eyes. The woman wore a green shirt and dark pants with a pair of mint green glasses. Her chestnut hair was swept to her left side. The man wore a black shirt under a brown and red leather jacket, with dark hair tied in a ponytail. The little girl wore a pretty black dress with a lace overlay with a green ribbon around her stomach. Her dark hair had been braided to form a crown on her head. She was the only one who seemed happy to be there, giving the camera a big smile. She couldn’t have been more than three years old, but the picture was enough to get an age-progression of the girl.

Leaning forward, the individual laced their fingers together in front of their mouth as the program did its work. As it aged the three-year-old and made an overlay of the teenager, it slowly confirmed what the individual suspected.

The screen stopped, showing a 98% match between the adorable child and the fierce teen.

“Finally.” The individual said, showing off their toothy grin. “We finally found you,” As they leaned further into the light, more features became apparent, like their pointed Galra markings on both cheeks, their two-toned hair, and their sharp eyes. “Kyla."

Krolia stood from her chair. As she picked up the screens, deactivating them in the process, she walked to the door. Her smile never left as the automatic door opened, then closed with a thud.

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esoanem · 3 years

Text

VII.

“They took everything from us. And then they call me a monster. The moment I sign that pardon, the moment I ask for one, I proclaim to the world that they were right. This ends when I grant them my forgiveness. Not the other way around“

Major Content Notes:

Blood & Gore: a man loses a fight, his face is covered in blood, and an eye swollen shut

Needles: a man is tattooed with a traditional needle tapped with a stick. Blood is seen oozing from it

Nudity: two scenes with full frontal male nudity, another with a naked male character framed so genitals are covered incidentally

Slavery: slaves are seen working in a lumber yard, bound in chains. Another seen with slaves chained in a warehouse being fed

Wikipedia Synopsis:

Flint and Gates discuss Mrs. Barlow's letter after Billy's disappearance. Randall accuses Silver of being a thief in front of Dufresne, who is the new quartermaster. Eleanor suffers a loss when Mr. Scott wants nothing to do with her partnership with Flint and he becomes a part of Captain Hornigold's crew. Rackham is having trouble turning a profit at the brothel, so Max helps run the business. In need of a new crew, Captain Vane makes a deal with a man from his past to borrow his men, but ends up fighting a battle to the death.

Now Max’s arc is concluded, we don’t have too much in the way of major content notes, and those mentioned here are relatively minor. This does give us both of the times we see dicks in the show afair though

Timestamps:

As ever, all timestamps are from the “Complete Collection” DVDs which includes a Starz logo at the start, as well as a recap. Depending on your source, timestamps may vary a little, which is why I’ve included the timestamp for the opening titles. Timestamps are only given for the start and end of scenes featuring any particularly warning-worthy content

00:57: opening credits

05:54-07:10: Jack & Anne are trying to have sex but Jack has performance issues. The brothel somehow isn’t making any money. Anne gets dressed and goes, leaving Jack naked and tied to the bed. His genitals are visible

08:13-09:30: Dufresne is getting a shark’s jaws tattooed on his arm with a traditional needle tapped with a stick, blood is shown oozing from it. His hair has been roughly shorn as initiation for his election as quartermaster. Gates urges Flint to go to Mrs Barlow now and not just let her go. Flint agrees and says he’ll be back by dark

26:14-30:02: the bald man hands his men over to Vane, and recognises that he was a former slave of his. Vane gives a speech to the men insulting the bald man and they fight. Vane gets a bloody face with one eye swollen shut. The bald man tells Vane he’s proud of him before stamping hard on his face. Vane’s naked body is rolled into a shallow grave, his genitals are covered by another man’s leg

31:43-32:31: Mr Scott visits the slaves in the warehouse with a basket of apples. He tells the woman he was next to that he has asked Eleanor to free them. That this may not happen, but to not give up hope

51:01-52:43: Vane wakes up and frees himself from the shallow grave. He stabs the bald man with a wooden stake, and kills him. He is seen fully nude, and his eye is still swollen shut. His genitals are visible

Summary:

We open with Pastor Lambrick practising his Easter sermon in a field, sweating profusely as he lectures on the taint of sin. A rider bursts through the crops and gallops past him, eventually arriving at Miranda’s cottage to tell her that Flint has returned

Eleanor meets with Flint and Gates in her office. She asks how the Scarborough found him. When Flint tells her that it was a plot by her father, and that Flint means to hold him to account, she tells him that Mrs Barlow was responsible for keeping him under lock and key, and must also be addressed. When Flint hears of the events in Nassau, and how Eleanor has managed to re-establish herself as the centre of trade despite her father winding up the Guthrie business he agrees to deal with Miranda

As he leaves, Eleanor tells him that Silver proved himself indispensable in establishing the Consortium and that she has promised to put herself between Silver & any resentment Flint may harbour towards him and as such, if Silver were to not return from the Urca, she and Flint will have problems

Jack & Anne are having sex, with him tied to the bed, and her on top. She gets frustrated, saying “it’s gone limp again”

“I’m terribly sorry if I’ve ruined your morning, but at the moment I happen to have quite a lot on my mind. Ship purloined, captain and crew a distant memory, no prospects at all except for this shithole of a brothel which by some miracle of economics seems incapable of turning a profit”

"How can you run a brothel here and not make money”

"I have no fucking idea!”

She gets up, gets dressed and leaves. Despite Jack’s protest, we see him left there, naked and tied to the bed.

Max is gazing out of her window when Idelle comes in with some porridge, to help her regain her strength. When asked how she managed to get eight of Vane’s crew to just disappear, Max firmly holds her gaze and says they left for Port Royal. Idelle doesn’t believe this saying that if that’s true, she’s “Henry fucking Avery”. She tells Max that if she’s planning on working at the brothel again she shouldn’t wait long

“Rackham’s got no idea how to run this place. We’ve all got a hand in his pocket. Mapleton would tell him but she’s too busy stealing for herself. All I’m saying is, get in while the getting’s good”

Dufresne is getting a shark’s jaws tattooed on his arm with a traditional needle tapped with a stick, blood is shown oozing from it. His hair has been roughly shorn as initiation for his election as quartermaster. Gates urges Flint to go to Mrs Barlow now and not just let her go. Flint agrees and says he’ll be back by dark. In the shed, as Flint gets his saddlebags read, Gates confronts him about the letter Billy found

“Just one more thing captain, before you leave to see Mrs Barlow. I think you and I need to discuss the letter that Billy found, and why exactly it is she believes that you’re going to betray your crew”

Randall is being held back by Dr Howell, another pirate, demanding to speak to Silver. De Groot explains that a council has voted him out, and that he was inadvertently responsible, having raised the issue of the fire hazard a one-legged man in the galley might present, before it spun out of control, like most things before the council

“He’s got a raw deal, Mr Silver. The least we can do is let him say his piece”

Silver goes to Randall, and tells him that in his experience, setbacks like this often come hand-in-hand with opportunities. He accuses Silver of stealing the page

"He’s a thief. He thought I was asleep in Miss Guthrie’s tavern. I heard him talking. It wasn’t Singleton stole the page. It was him.”

“I don’t know what he’s talking about”

"Said he has the schedule in his head. That he learned it to stop Flint from murdering him”

"With all due respect, but he spent the last two days beneath a rather heavy cloud of opium, he doesn’t know what he heard”

As Silver goes to leave, de Groot grabs his arm, and tells Dr Howell to get the quartermaster now

At the Consortium, Captain Naft is rummaging for papers as the rest wait exasperated. Eventually he find his notes, and officially opens the meeting, making a note to add choosing a shorter name to the agenda. Captain Lawrence has started modifying his hold, but a good number of his crew have deserted, as he predicted, and he will need replacements

Eleanor is called away by one of her men. Mr Scott has arrived and refuses to leave. She goes down to speak to him

"Quite the story I heard out there from the Walrus’ men. They say you rallied the slaves in the Andromache’s hold, singlehandedly turned the tide against Bryson. Imagine what they’d say if they knew that you’re the reason they had to chase that ship in the first place!”

“I would like the chance to explain myself. What I did, I did out of love. And with every intention of staying here with you to help you find a safer, more settled life, a life you deserve! It was not a betrayal. It was – “

“It was not your decision to make! My life is my own. It’s not Benjamin Hornigold’s, and it’s not Charles vane’s, it’s not my father’s, and it’s not yours. Do you understand?”

He says he would have had nowhere else to go, as he is chattel property of the Guthrie estate. Eleanor is hurt by this reminder of her complicity in his enslavement, saying she’d never seen him that way. He says he needs to ask her a favour

Charles Vane wakes up in the sun, with a slave boy looking down at him. The boy has the same scar he does on his chest. The boy leads him through the lumber yard and we see that many of the workers, of all races, are in chains. Vane is called over to sit by the bald man, and asked if he means to do business. He explains his plan as the bald man keeps his back turned

"There is a place, there’s a place not far from here. A place fueled by plunder. A place of great wealth. Run by its crews. Flying no flag”

“I know of Nassau. What of it”

"She’s weak. So she’s ripe for the taking. A man with enough strength could have his hands wrapped around her throat in a matter of hours. Control the flow of trade. Get rich”

"My men are rich. Wood sells well, and we don’t rely on the mercy of the sea”

"No man is rich who could have a lot more by doing less. When you sailed as captain of these men, they sacked Campeche for you, they sacked Cartagena for you. Give me a dozen of them, and I will bring Nassau in line”

The man asks his name, and says he knows it. When Vane lays out his terms, he doesn’t answer, but turns around and presses Vane on how he knew to find him. Vane ignores the question and asks if they have a deal, before getting up to walk away, when the bald man makes a counteroffer

"How did you know to seek me out? Is my name spoken as far as Nassau? Is there someone there that connects us? Or is it something else?”

In the shed, Flint is dodging Gates’ questions about the letter, saying that his relationship with Mrs Barlow is complicated, but she clearly wants to leave Nassau so desperately she will say anything to make him come with her

"Oh for fuck’s sake enough! This is what we do! You orate, you dissemble, and I look the other way, convince myself that supporting you is in everybody’s interest, but not today. Not after what happened last night. What happened to Billy, Captain.” ”

When Flint says that Billy fell, and asks what Gates thinks happened, he points out that Billy thought he saw them all as expendable, as pawns to use for his own ends.

“I know what happened on the Maria Eleyne. You told me the man you killed was rooting for a weapon, you told me it was self defence, but there were no weapons in that cabin. I went, and I looked. I still kept my mouth shut. I don’t know why, but I know you used the crew to assassinate those people. Men died that day, our men. And I expect there’ve been other times that we’ve been expendable to you and if yesterday was one of those days then you and I have a problem because Billy wasn’t expendable to me. He was a son to me.”

"Then perhaps you ought to have acted like a better father towards him”

"What the fuck did you just say?”

"You let his suspicions run rampant, you let his paranoia fester to the point at which when he should have been focussed on the Scarborough's guns he was focussed on hurling unfounded accusations at me”

"So I’m to blame for what happened to Billy?”

"Perhaps if you’d intervened when he first came to you with these fantasies, perhaps if you helped him understand the world in which he lived he’d still be here right now”

"I’m tired of this. I’m tired of the energy it takes to believe you, to believe in you. I’m taking this to the crew, you’re their problem now.”

"I’m taking it. After the Urca’s been secured, and the money warehoused before distribution, I intend to sequester a portion of it. Every man on that crew will still be richer than their wildest dreams, but you know as well as I do that no matter how much money they’re given, they will drink, whore, and piss it away. Now they have a chance at something better than that! But it isn’t going to happen unless somebody makes it happen”

"You’re lying to them”

"And if I don’t, who will? Everyone’s lied to. For their own good. Every mother tells their child that everything will be alright. Every soldier who’s told by his commander that courage will see them through, every subject who’s told by his ki-“

"His king? Is that what you are to us now? A sovereign? Levying a tax?”

"I’m quite serious. Who loses? Absent their worst instincts: their pride, their greed, their suspicion, in the light of pure reason, who says no to this? They’ll be rich men in a safe place rather than dead thieves on a long rope. I’m going to deliver them, Hal. I’m going to deliver them into something better.”

"I will sail with you tomorrow to take this prize. I’ll follow your lead in battle, and I’ll take your orders as consort, but when it’s done, you and I will quietly go our separate ways and I’ll thank you not to protest”

Dufresne, de Groot, and Howell are talking outside the tent. They agree that if Randall had told anyone else they’d have heard, and that Flint finding the page on Singleton does seem awfully convenient. Silver tries to convince Randall to change his story

“Say you’re successful in convincing our friends out there to believe your story. I’m not sure you’ve given proper consideration to what happens next. Do you think they just haul me up in front of the crew, air your story, and that’s the end of it? Oh Randall, I think you’ve forgotten one very important detail”

Outside the tent, Howell points out that if they bring it to the crew they’d likely hang Flint & Silver, and that will be the end of the Urca hunt. That acting hastily could come with a very hefty price. De Groot doesn’t seem to like the idea of lying to the crew, along with Flint, and asks if thy think there’s some way to guarantee Randall’s silence. Inside the tent, it seems Silver has just suggested this exact course of action

"They wouldn’t”

"Wouldn’t they? A one-legged halfwit who hazards a chance at a fortune? The odds are decidedly not in your favour. Well, you were confused, or delirious! Take your pick, but tell them now, then even if they wanted to go to the crew they’d have lost their chief witness and no-one has to die”

"You’re a thief”

“I’m a thief, right. Well, good luck, Randall. It was nice knowing you”

At the lumber camp, the bald man has lined up several of his men, and tells them to follow Vane’s orders as if they were his own. Vane gets distracted, seeing the boy with the matching scar, which leads to the bald men stepping over and looking into Vane’s shirt to see the scar

"You were one of ours? You were just a boy yourself. It could not have been easy coming back here. It must have taken great strength. Go on, take these men. Make me rich”

Vane is trembling, his voice shaking as the bald man walks away. As he speaks to the men, the bald man takes notice, stops, and starts striding back over ready to fight

"You don’t know me. But you once did. When I was the lowest among you, now I’ve returned, and I offer you a chance to be free of this place.

I’m Charles Vane, and you were a strong crew once, proper pirates, feared as you should have been before he dragged you away from the sea before he convinced you to live here like animals, because it suits his weaknesses

There is a place not far from here where strong men live lives of pleasure, not labour. A place where you could be feared and respected once again

Follow me and I will show you what life is”

As the bald man gets close, Vane punches him first. At the start, Vane is able to dodge the bald man’s blows, but once he gets caught, the bald man hits hard. They each hit & kick each other several times, each getting thrown or knocked to the ground. Eventually the bald man kicks Vane in the crotch and headbutts him hard, before beating his face repeatedly, leaving Vane’s face bloodied and one eye swollen shut. As Vane looks at the boy again, the bald man leans down, and says “I’m proud of you” before stamping hard on Vane’s face, with a hard cut to black. We see Vane’s naked body rolled into a shallow grave

Dufresne pulls Silver over. De Groot is inclined to hand him over to the crew, which would likely mean his death. He isn’t going to risk his life, or commit Randall to an early grave with the uncertainty of not knowing he can trust the information in Silver’s head. Dufresne has brought a test. A page from one of Dr Howell’s manuals, for Silver to memorise in the next five minutes. If he cannot reproduce it satisfactorily he will be turned over to the crew. Silver protests that this is a terrible test, that he could have read the page a hundred times, not just for five minutes, so this proves nothing. Dufresne says he’s aware, but this is the best he could do

Mr Scott visits the Guthrie warehouse with a basket of apples to give to the slaves. He tells the woman who was next to him that he asked Eleanor to facilitate their release, that she wouldn’t have the guns without them. He is careful not to say that this is certain, but does tell her not to give up hope

As he leaves, Hornigold is waiting for him, and asks for his secret to putting up with Eleanor. He tells Scott that he believes Eleanor had the Ranger’s crew killed, but that without the bodies and people saying they left for Port Royal three isn’t anything he can do

“I asked you once to get her under control. The truth is, there is no controlling her is there?”

Flint storms into Miranda’s cottage. When he goes to Mr Guthrie’s room, she tells him that he isn’t there and has taken sanctuary on Mr Underhill’s estate. He demands to know why she wrote the letter, pointing out how if it weren’t for dumb luck it could have got him killed. She says it was to show him a way out of all this

"A way out? Have you no memory of how we got in? What they took from us?”

"What does it matter now?”

He repeats the words back in disbelief, repeating them silently over and over in shock. She tells him that this isn’t a life in Nassau, that there isn’t joy or love here, but that there is in Boston, and he can go there without the war he believes is necessary to make a life, and that it requires no blood, and no sacrifice

"It requires an intolerable sacrifice”

"To accept a pardon?”

"To apologise!”

"Apologise? Who will you be apologising too?”

"To England! They took everything from us. And then they call me a monster. The moment I sign that pardon, the moment I ask for one, I proclaim to the world that they were right. This ends when I grant them my forgiveness. Not the other way around”

“This path you’re on. It doesn’t lead where you think it does. If he were here, he’d agree with me!”

Flint leaves, slamming the door

Silver is finishing recreating the page. He protests again that he had three days with the schedule, but only three minutes with the page. He says to Dufresne that he must have been pretty sure he was the thief to have thought of the test, and he doesn’t think he had that faith in Randall, and wonders who told him, asking if it was Billy. Dufresne leaves without asking. Silver and Randall are alone together in the tent

"Right now at this moment, it is just as likely you’re the one that dies as I am. What if there was a way neither of us had to die today? I go to the crew, and I offer to be your caretaker. I’ll offer to look after you day and night, and give my personal guarantee should anything happen that it comes out of my share. I think I could persuade the crew to accept that. Then you’re back on the ship, all you’ll have to do is change your story”

"You’re a thief”

"Are you fucking kidding me?! Alright yes, I’m a thief. I took the page and I shouldn’t have, I should have counted my blessings to be put off that ship, but what can I say, Randall, I’m not a joiner, I never have been, but I’m willing to do it now so pull your head from your arse and let’s both live to fight another day”

Dufresne enters, and apologises to Silver. It seems de Groot was not satisfied with the copy. As he goes to grab Silver though, Randall starts accusing all the men there of being thieves. Dufresne concludes that it seems they no longer have a witness to accuse Silver before the crew

Mr Scott enters Eleanor’s office, and she tells him that, despite money being tight right now, she has managed to arrange for all the slaves to go free. The able-bodied men will be taken onto the Black Hind under Captain Lawrence to make up for his desertions, with subsidies and credits covering the cost. Eleanor has managed to gather the money to purchase the women, who will be offered a wage in her employ. She tells Scott that he doesn’t need to worry about her if he means to stay with her, and that she doesn’t just blindly trust Flint

“I’m not blind to Flint. I know he keeps things from me, but there’s no reason for you to feel threatened by my partnership with him. If you’re to stay with me, I need to know that I can trust you”

Scott tells her that Hornigold has offered him a chance to join his crew instead though

"If you need me, I will be here for you, but as long as you insist on pursuing this course with Captain Flint, I will always be tempted to interfere”

Jack is telling one of the prostitutes that the income she’s reported for the last two days isn’t believable, and she’ll have to vacate her room to make room for someone else. At that moment, another prostitute comes down to give him five pieces. Max comes down, and asks who she serviced, saying the client she saw leaving only desires to be swaddled while he sucks on a breast, and the price they’ve always charged for mothering is twenty pieces. When the prostitute claims he only had time for a handjob, Max slaps her and asks her to confess, and hope Jack will be more forgiving than Mr Noonen would have been. The prostitute turns to Jack and swears it will never happen again

"In my experience, if you do not discipline a whore, she will always take advantage. Get your fucking house in order”

As Eleanor is collecting the dregs from abandoned mugs at the tavern she finds Flint half-passed out at a table. She leads him to her office saying that he was supposed to be back before dark, and points out that any of his crew might have seen and just before the most dangerous journey of their lives, a pissed captain might not be the best thing for them to see, saying they could find reason to doubt him

"Perhaps a little doubting me is called for”

He sits down on the bed tucked away in an alcove

"Tell me we’re not crazy, you & I. To put ourselves through all of this when the outcome’s so uncertain”

"The outcome’s only uncertain for those who disbelieve. I believe in this place and I believe if there’s anyone who can do what’s necessary to make it something better, it’s you”

He stands up from the bed. They hold each other’s gaze and she seems to briefly lean in as if for a kiss. He rises up instead, kissing her forehead and leaves

The next morning Silver is onboard the Walrus with Randall as the ship is readied to set sail. Silver wonders if maybe Randall is smarter than he lets on, and Randall smiles knowingly as he talks

"Randall, you are a fucking puzzle. Part of me thinks you must be the luckiest halfwit in the colonies the way this all played out. Part of me suspects there’s something else going on here. I’m forced to wonder if you didn’t orchestrate this whole little drama knowing it would corner me into securing your return to the crew. I’m forced to consider the possibility there’s a lot more of the old Randall in that head of yours than you’d like to let on, that you’re not halfwitted at all, but a very shrewd operator who’s managed to obtain the benefits of sailing with these men while avoiding all the risk. That perhaps, just perhaps, you’re a goddamn genius”

Flint & Gates look at each other from the decks of the Walrus & Ranger, nodding at each other as the sails are unfurled. We cut to the tavern the night before, where Dufresne approaches Gates. He tells him that the situation with Silver is resolved for now, that Silver worked out that he already knew about the page, but thought Billy told him, although it may not be long before he realises who really did. He says there is another problem though with Howell & de Groot. Gates says that once at sea their focus will be off Randall and it will go away

"Actually, it’s not Randall that’s troubling them. It’s you

Having had some time to think about it, they’re not certain that you’re up to doing what’s necessary

The lying we could forgive, Singleton we could forgive, we could forgive all of it, but not Billy. That requires an answer

When the time comes, we need to know that you won’t stand in the way. I understand that he’s your friend, but once we have the money, Flint dies. No argument”

Gates agrees in a hushed, sad tone, saying there’ll be no argument from him. We cut back to Gates & Flint nodding at each other on their ships, each playing their part as if there is nothing wrong, as the Parson’s Farewell picks up and the ships sail off

In the blackness we hear the words of Vane’s hallucination of Eleanor, and see an eye open in the darkness, and then see a hand free itself from the dirt

“You could be strong again. You could resist me. You could take this whole fucking island from me. If only you weren’t so goddamn afraid”

The bald man and his men are gathered round in a circle. As the bald man takes a bite of some meat, he is stabbed in the back with a wooden spike. Vane is behind him, covered in gravedirt, still naked, with his eye swollen shut. As the bald man gets up, Vane punches him back down until he doesn’t get back up

#Black Sails #black sails content notes

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theangelwithashotgun8 · 7 years

Text

FAHC Jeremy because GOOD LORD I do not give Lil J enough love and that needs to change!

Sorry this took so long y’all!

Okay but FAHC Jeremy nearly shitting himself when Geoff offers him the promotion.

He's looked up to the Fakes since he was just a kid fighting in underground rings for a meal. He'd heard tales of how Geoff had been broken out of prison with a limo and how Brownman had once driven a tank through downtown Achievement City just for shits and giggles. There was talk of a time when The Vagabond actually went on a Murder Break because Mogar didn't think he could do it and had replaced his weapons with nerf guns. They were all stupid, silly, idiots but they ruled Achievement City and Jeremy desperately wanted to be a part of that kind of mayhem.

Years later he goes from Jeremy to Rimmy Tim and Matt becomes Axial, they get a letter in the mail. There are no words. No return address. Just a stamp of a green duck. The next day a man in a purple hoodie and a baby pink DS is waiting at the warehouse where they store their weapon.

"Sup. Want a job?"

And that was that, they were part of the Fake AH Crew. They were floating on Cloud Nine for months, climbing the ranks until they truly felt like the Fakes were family. Family they were still slightly afraid of and in complete and total awe of, but family nonetheless.

Then one day Brownman, "Call me Ray", made an announcement: He was done. Retiring. Brown out. Jeremy had become close to the other criminal and saying goodbye was hard, but in the end Ray moved out of the penthouse.

"If you need me." He promised at the door, "I'll come running."

The pain of Ray leaving was dulled by Geoff's next offer, "Well I have a spare room... And an open spot. Lil J you up for it?"

And... He hadn't been expecting it, but when he turned to Matt who screamed, "Why you lookin' at me?! Say yes you dumbass!" he accepted and joined the innermost circle of the Fake AH Crew. It was easier to talk to the Big Boys when you lived with them and saw every stupid thing they'd ever done.

His hero worship of Geoff faded real quick after the man wouldn't stop singing Come On Eileen for five hours straight and he stopped fearing Ryan when the man proudly showed off the skull he'd shaved into his chest. Michael's temper wasn't so scary when you heard him giggle at something Lindsay had said and Jack wasn't nearly as intimidating when she was tripping Geoff because he won't stop singing Come On Eileen.

Gavin, however, remained a mystery. The dude literally just hid in his room, tapping away at his keyboard, and only came out when it was time to eat. He was perfectly polite, but distant.

Gavin had always been his favorite when he heard the news stories of the FAHC. The Golden Boy, Ramsey's Fool, the idiot who nearly shot himself in the foot and left behind a duffel bag with $10,000 in it. He’d landed in jail more times than anyone cared to count. Yet he was still Ramsey's favorite, his spoiled little lap dog who gobbled up the attention, flashing his pretty jewelry at envious clients who underestimated his skills. While everyone laughed at this imported twink Gavin robbed them blind, took their money, their guns, and their life if he could get away with it.

And most of the time, he got away with it.

Jeremy loved him, looked up to him, wanted to be him. A perfect mix of silly and threatening, those were his hard and true Life Goals. Yet when they first met, the Brit had smiled, nodded his hello, and then vanished into the back.

The fearless "Golden Boy" he'd heard so much about was just your average dude. He wore hoodies and jeans, his face was free of the golden eye liner he'd heard so much about, and he had a habit of chewing his nails when he thought no one was looking. And he seemed to go out of his way to avoid Jeremy.

Which stung, a lot. Like, Gavin is his hero (if criminals can even have heroes), the dude means a lot to him and to be dismissed so quickly?

"He's just being stupid." Michael reassures him.

"I can talk to him." Ryan promises as he shoulders a baseball bat.

"I'm fine." He tells both of them because it's true.

He's been through literal hell and back and now he's on top of the world. He's working with the crew that owns Achievement City, he has a roof over his head, food in his belly, and enough money to spend on useless crap to help enhance his Rimmy Tim persona.

It was through Tim, surpsingly, that he brought Gavin out of hiding.

A heist. His first ever as one of the Main Six. They were gonna hit up a new art exhbit bringing in a priceless gold vase discovered in a tomb that had been lost in the sands for thousands of years. It looked ragged as all hell in the first few photos Gavin showed them, but after it had been dusted off it was much easier to see it's true worth. Geoff was practically drooling when he saw it.

It would go down in broad daylight, because none of them knew the definition of stealth apparently. Ryan and Michael would pose as tourists before shooting the guards and anyone who got in their way before grabbing the vase. Jack and Gavin were a ways away with the getaway vehicle, from there Gavin would be watching their every move from his laptop. Meanwhile Jeremy would be with Geoff on sniping and lookout duty. He was a bit disappointed that he was being left out of the action, but he was excited nonetheless.

So, with adrenaline pumping through his veins, he pulled out his Rimmy Tim heist outfit. A bright orange shirt, a purple blazer, his sunglasses, and his white cowboy hat. This was his first heist as one of the Main Six, he could do this!

With an ear to ear smile he flung open his door and came face to face with Gavin.

He stopped breathing for a moment.

This was the Gavin he expected. Gold rings dripped beautifully from his long fingers, his hair was swept up with gel, and the sparkling eyeliner made his hazels eyes pop. He was beautiful, stunning, dangerous. Ramsey's Golden Boy, this was the Gavin he'd looked up to all these years.

He wasn't ready.

"What on Earth are you wearing?!" Apparently, neither was Gavin-who stared at him with absolute horror.

Gavin shook his head, "No. Absolutely not. Put something else on you look atrocious!"

For a brief moment Jeremy felt hurt. He'd worked hard to put Rimmy Tim together, to turn that name into something people feared. But then Gavin laughed, and that smile made something warm and happy flutter in Jeremy's chest. He liked hearing Gavin laugh, he really liked knowing he was the reason it happened.

"Lil J that is the worst color combo I have ever seen!" Gavin laughs again and throws an arm over his shoulder, "Oh God. I'm taking you shopping after this heist, I'm going to teach you how to dress!"

And Jeremy wants to cry because Gavin wants to hang out with him! Deep inside he's screaming and running and flying over the fucking moon because this is all he's ever wanted, who says dreams don't come true?!

They walk into the kitchen, where everyone is groggily smushing cereal into their mouths, and Gavin still has his arm around his shoulders. Michael looks up first and smirks.

"So you got over it Gavvy?"

"Micoo!" Gavin shouts, face bright red.

Jeremy tilts his head, "Got over what?"

"Gavin avoids people he doesn't know very well." Ryan says from the fridge, where he pops a can of diet coke, "He's really shy."

He whips around and Gavin pulls away to look at the floor in embarrassment, "Is that true Gav?"

"You should have seen when we first hired Ryan." Jack says as she bites into her Lucky Charms, "He refused to look at him for a month."

"To be fair." Michael says, "He's fucking scary."

"You were nervous?" Jeremy's equal parts confused and amused, "Why? Look at me! I'm a fucking loser!"

"No you're not! You're Lil J! Our Lil J!" Gavin hugs him and Jeremy feels his heart do the tango in his chest, "And I'm not nervous now am I? When we're done with this the first thing I'm gonna do with my cut is buy you proper clothes because you look ghastly!"

The crew laughs, Gavin laughs, and Jeremy laughs through barely shed tears. Years of hell and pain and literally fighting for his dinner have landed him here.

He couldn't be happier.

#Fake AH Crew #FAHC #Fake AH Crew Jeremy #FAHC Jeremy #Jerevin

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clonerightsagenda · 7 years

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A Jade post? In 2017?

I could write this post in my sleep because I’ve written 40 just like it, but I keep seeing posts about lack of Jade meta, so I guess I was a little ahead of my time and must now answer the call. If you’ve been following me for a while, you might as well keep scrolling. You’ve seen this all before in increasing tones of despair.

For everyone else, this aims to be a general overview of Jade Harley’s character, back when she was allowed to have one, looking at her issues and development. I’ll condense it a fair bit because none of us want to be here all evening, but feel free to ask me to expand on anything. I used to do this all the time.

Childhood

So let’s start at the very beginning. Jade’s home situation is revealed in pieces. Much like Dave’s, it’s played as less serious early on, with the ramifications and its impact on her personality not fully explored until later. (Jade never gets a big speech on the topic, so I fear it still went over some heads.) Over time, however, we learn that Jade has grown up alone save for a powerful dog, after her grandfather died... and she stuffed his corpse. (yuck.) She has had to fend for herself from a young age, plagued by occasional bouts of Vriska-induced narcolepsy to boot.

This has made her tough and self-sufficient. She’s one of the more capable and efficient Betas, shown when she takes charge near the tail end of their session. However, she takes it a bit far. When you’re a kid alone, no one is going to take care of you. You don’t have the luxury of hoping someone else will handle a problem, or getting bogged down in sadness or doubt. Jade takes this to the extreme of never allowing herself to express negative emotions. That’s not productive. That won’t get anything done. She’s happy happy happy all the time!!! (At least to her friends. More on that later.)

She projects this onto her grandfather as well. Loneliness takes a toll. When Jade “encounters” her grandfather, she imagines him chastising her and has an argument with him, eventually concluding “he was much easier to deal with when he was alive”. Jade has placed a lot of her weighty expectations for herself on her grandfather, and she pretends he’s talking back to deal with her isolation. Additionally, she doesn’t know about Tavros’s interference, so as she grows older, she assumes Grandpa Harley killed himself, abandoning her to her fate. When she does learn about what happened, she blames herself. More on that later.

Her constant cheer is particularly concerning when we consider one last detail that people also seem to forget a lot. Jade grows up knowing she’s going to die. She’s seen her own stuffed dream self, and while it may not be time stamped, she’d be able to gauge by her own height roughly how much time she has left. By the time the story starts, she knows she’s almost out. And when Tavros mentions that his dream self died in their conversation pre-Descend, she’s surprised. She didn’t know they could die. This means she didn’t think ‘oh, my dream self will die but it’ll be ok’. She thought she was going to die, full stop. But she kept up the cheerleader routine anyway.

Friendships

That segues into Jade’s personal relationships. As I mentioned earlier, Jade refuses to express negative emotions. This is similar to John, but I’d argue John is less aware of what he’s doing. Jade knows all that dark stuff is there; she just keeps pushing it down. Instead, she acts as team cheerleader, encouraging all her other friends as they start playing the game. She tells John he can save the world, encourages Rose, and flatters Dave. Rose is the only one who pushes back a little - her comment about Jade being tough for surviving on her island suggests she might have grasped a little about her situation, and she probes a little - but Jade doesn’t give much away. John vacillates between being surprisingly perceptive and super not, and Dave tends to be absorbed in his own problems. Jade successfully keeps most of her life a secret. No one knows her grandfather is dead or that she’s alone. No one knows she’s going to die.

The person she’s most direct with, ironically, is Karkat. He hears her angry or upset, mostly because he’s not her friend. She doesn’t care what he thinks. It also seems likely, though, that she lost patience with him a long time ago. After all, from her perspective he’s been trolling them for a while, and her dismay the first time he contacts her suggests that he got on her last nerve a while back. (She gets her revenge later, showing that she doesn’t forgive him as fully as she claims during their session.) Still, it’s kind of tragic that she’s most honest with people she dislikes. As they grow less adversarial, she begins to cover more and more up.

Karkat happens to be the character who catches her at one of her most vulnerable moments, which is...

Jadesprite

Alas, we hardly knew ye. Faced with the seemingly unbeatable boss that’s Bec Noir, Jade decides to prototype her dead dreamself in order to have a human intelligence armed with the power of a First Guardian. This... does not go as planned. Jadesprite is yanked out of the afterlife and put back into the game that traumatized and killed her. She’s hysterical and doesn’t seem to understand that John’s not dead, and she’s not thrilled about facing Jack again and probably dying in the process. This makes Jade furious. How dare this version of her not put the group’s safety over her own personal life and happiness? How dare she not be happy to be used as a tool? How dare she show fear, weakness, pain, anything but a constant eagerness to please? Jade flies into a rage because Jadesprite reveals every bit of weakness she has hidden within herself and has come to despise. This part of her was never supposed to see the light of day.

Of course, it doesn’t for long. Jadesprite shows up again for a handful of panels, which are mostly devoted to Davesprite exposition-dumping. It’s interesting to note that, while she’s more emotionally honest with him, the panel after he shows up, she’s back to the generic sprite-mode smile. She still can’t quite kick that urge to cover it all up.

Then, Jade God Tiers and absorbs Jadesprite as part of herself. She wastes no time in crushing her and everything she represents deep into a corner of her psyche. And she crushes hard. Jade mentions later that her memories of Jadesprite’s time in the bubbles is hazy, which is understandable. Bubbles are weird. But later, when Dave talks about his sword quest and Jade seems confused, he asks in exasperation, “didnt davesprite tell you anything?” And he did. He told Jadesprite information that should have made Dave’s explanation later clear. But Jade, it seems, has forgotten. Could be an authorial oversight, could be the passing of time... or could be a signifier of how hard she pushed away everything “tainted” by that ‘lesser’ version of herself.

Yellow Yard

Hope everyone’s been enjoying themselves, because we’ve now left behind the chunk of the story where Jade gets to do much at all. She’s John’s emotional sounding board for the next three years and then spends the majority of the combo session possessed, dead, or asleep. Yes, I’m still bitter.

The fact that both of Jade’s appearances in the intermissions are focused on being a response to John’s complaining is fitting, though (besides revealing the author’s priorities), considering her role on the battleship is to do everyone’s emotional labor. I could write a massive post on battleship dynamics since I’ve had years to parse the roughly 5 sentences allotted to them, but I’ll keep it short for this post. John’s showing the strain by the first intermission (there’s a lot of subtext in the way he talks about that video game) but in general he’s missing his old life, chafing at having nothing to do, resentful of his role of “following orders” in the previous session, upset at himself for being childish, and of course sitting on top of a simmering pile of repressed emotions he refuses to fully acknowledge. Davesprite is Sir Not Appearing In This Comic the whole time, but it’s clear he’s in a downward spiral due to his lack of a clear purpose, feelings of inadequacy, paranoia over his lesser/doomed status, and general self-hatred. Jade is the apparent ‘stable’ one. She tries to be supportive of John even as he gets increasingly nasty to her in his frustration, and she’s presumably doing her best to prop Davesprite up. Unfortunately, no one’s going to support her, because she can’t ask for help. She can’t show weakness. She has to be useful. Anything else means she’s a bad friend and a failure. So she just keeps going until she gets crushed under the weight.

It gets to her, though. By John’s 15th, she’s short with him and looks visibly annoyed in a few panels, which is unusual for her. And by the time they arrive, she heads off to deal with business without telling Davesprite where she’s going or even bothering to wake John up, which suggests she’s pretty sick of them. Still, she hasn’t given them a piece of her mind. Yet. Instead, she heads off without a word, right into the Empress’s trap.

Grimbark Mode

The Empress has been plotting for the arrival of the gods, and she gets to work. In moments, her two girls are under her control. Not only are they forced to do her bidding, but their worst impulses, desires, and repressed grievances are pulled to the surface. For Jade, this is primarily anger. Notice that she mostly lashes out at people who have wronged her. She kicks John, fabricates a reason to get Karkat stabbed (it’s strategically inadvisable to have Jane fork him, but Jade wanted to), and tries to goad Dave into a fight. Finally, all that fury is coming out.

While talking to Roxy, Jade also reveals how much her hypercompetence issues affect her self-esteem. ‘once i was even more of a dork than you’, she tells her ‘but now i’m one of the most powerful beings in the universe’. The implication is that Jade considers her greatest asset her powers. Without them, without her ability to be useful, she’s nothing. Also in this conversation she says she’s the suckiest Jade there is, showing both her unhappiness with her current state and her deep seated self-worth issues (get in line, girl). These hypercompetency issues also fuel her fight with Jake. She arrogantly proclaims herself smarter and more powerful than him (Jade can be headstrong at times or disregard other people’s views; I’ve talked about that in other posts) but gets curbstomped because she refuses to back down from the fight or go straight for Aranea. She has been challenged, so she has to prove she’s the best... and she fails.

Speaking of things I am still bitter about, I will never not be bitter about how grimbark mode (and crockertier mode) were handled. I was upset about my favorite character being mind controlled, yeah, but I defended it as a chance for character growth. When I saw grimbark mode, I thought, ok. This sucks, but this means Jade can’t hide anymore. It’s all out in the open. She had a guy killed, for crying out loud. Once she’s snapped out of it, she’s going to have to be honest about it. This is a turning point where she can finally tell people how she feels.

That... did not happen. Instead, Game Over did, and then the retcon, and my last hopes of Jade Harley getting decent character resolution fizzled and died. I don’t like talking about the retcon very much, so let’s make this last bit quick.

Post-Retcon

I’ll go through this fast, because it’s unpleasant. In our latest chapter of ‘Jade Harley gets fucked by the narrative because Andrew Hussie made her too op and also doesn’t care’, the retcon shifts things around so that John and Davesprite blow up soon into the trip, leaving Jade to travel the Yellow Yard alone. Accompanied by carapaces and Nanna, of course, but it’s never really acknowledged that she can interact with them, despite her growing up on Prospit. Why those two couldn’t have blown up immediately before arrival I’m not sure, considering how late retcon Roxy died, but fuck Jade, amiright? (Bitterness intensifies). Anyway, the part of this I find most egregious is that this doesn’t have as much of an impact on Jade’s character as it really should have.

Let’s review. Jade derives a lot of her self-worth from being competent and helping people. She has had issues with loneliness in the past. She’s got some self-worth problems that she covers up with the knowledge that she has a lot of cool powers. So we blow up her two friends while she in all her God Tier and First Guardian powers is powerless to save them, and then she’s stuck alone stewing in her failure for three years, knowing she will have to face Dave and Rose and tell them what happened.

Does it seem likely that Jade would pop out the other side of the fourth wall perky and enthusiastic? Hardly. With no witnesses left, I imagine she would have dropped the facade. Having failed her friends, if she didn’t believe the timeline was doomed, she’d probably double down on making sure it never happened again, devoting her time to leveling up and training to a greater degree than she did in the GO timeline. She’d emotionally distance herself from her friends in advance. After all, once she finds out what happened to Grandpa, she describes it as “basically my fault”, even though Grandpa let her play with guns and Tavros redirected the bullet. Part of her hypercompetency is a quickness to take responsibility even when she should not. She would blame herself for John and Davesprite’s deaths and assume Dave and Rose would as well. I imagine her trust in Skaia and a happy ending would also be shaken. The clouds never showed her this.

So Jade ought to be a mess. In canon, though, she really isn’t. Oh, she mentions to Calliope that she felt depressed. This is progress for Jade, admittedly, but in general she’s relatively the same as she always was. When she sees John, it apparently fixes that all up (setting aside his notorious issues with alt selves.) She does seem reluctant to process that Davesprite is essentially dead, repeatedly referring to D avepeta as Dave, but otherwise, she seems to slot into the new reality without a ripple. We do see a hint of the loneliness-based projection with her naming the consorts and making up stories about them, but that's mostly glossed over. And since Vriska knocks her out before she has a chance to do anything while grimbark (even deliver some nasty taunts), no one gets any indication of her suppressed anger, so no one’s prompted to ask her about it. In terms of repression, she’s cleared to continue. And, as far as we’re shown, she does. At least John gets to visibly show that he’s got issues in the credits. Jade’s a smiling background character.

As the final insult on top of injury, Jade’s big contribution in Collide is getting punched. I’m not entirely clear as to why she’s trying to prevent PM from fighting Jack - she knows Jack is a threat and has worked against him in the past. But no, here she gets in the way until PM knocks her down. Another blow for a character who has built her self-worth upon contributing to the team.

I have my (grim) thoughts on what Jade realistically would have turned into after all this. And honestly, you could write a ‘how the ending shafted character x’s development’ for most of the cast, but Jade is a special example because her shafting started after Cascade and never stopped. And it makes me sad, because she was my favorite, and the opportunities were RIGHT THERE to give her development and bring some of this to the surface, but the story never made the effort.

I could go into way more depth about any of this, especially her personal relationships, but this is already long and it’s late, so I will leave you with this single, simple truth:

Jade deserved better.

#homestuck #jade harley #whoah i'm putting a thing in the hs tag #no slashes or anything #this is unusual #anyway i can elaborate a lot on any of this if you want me to send me an ask #although i'm going to be super busy tomorrow #character analysis

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trendingnewsb · 6 years

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Glenn Close: You lose power if you get angry

From vengeful mistress to Agatha Christie matriarch: the actor talks about Harvey Weinstein, mental illness and growing up in a cult

Glenn Close and I sit at the corner of a large boardroom table in an intimidatingly minimalist office on the 14th floor of a Los Angeles talent agency. Its the kind of environment in which Patty Hewes, the ruthless lawyer Close played in Damages for five seasons, would feel at home and Im almost waiting for her to stand up, slam both hands on the table and shout, Ill rip your face off or any of the other terrifying put-downs that defined her double Emmy award-winning performance.

But Close is in high spirits and radiates such warmth I barely notice the chill from the tower blocks air-con. After we fiddle with the settings on our swivel chairs, which are so high they make anyone under six foot kick their legs like a child on a swing, the 70-year-old, six-time Oscar nominee and star of stage, television and film starts telling me about her dreams. I have had a lot recently, full of this wonderful love for a younger man. The dreams just keep coming and I wake up thinking, that was wonderful! It wasnt necessarily us doing the sexual act, just the feeling of love.

With her white hair cut to a sharp crop, and wearing a relaxed navy blazer, chinos and black scarf on account of the arctic corporate temperature, she looks stylish and fit. I have never felt better in my life, and I am, like, 70, she says. Im really a late bloomer.

She says she feels a disconnect between how she sees herself and how people may view me when I walk down the street, like: Theres an old lady. You know, there is now this cult of the model. Everyone on the red carpet is made into a model. That is very hard to not play into I have a bit of podge I am trying to get rid of, but its hard. I just think, Oh fuck, Ive been doing this my whole life! But the irony is, you just get better and better with age. You dont feel less alive or less sexy.

In Agatha Christies Crooked House. Photograph: Nick Wall

We are here to talk about Crooked House, the Agatha Christie adaptation debuting on Channel 5, before its theatrical release, in which Close plays Lady Edith, a matriarch of a very dysfunctional family. Close says, Christies grandson came to the set and he validated the fact that it was her favourite book, and the one that had never been adapted. He said when she handed it to the publisher, she was told she had to change the ending, because it was too upsetting and controversial. She refused. Its still pretty controversial.

This production, co-written by Julian Fellowes, might not be as spendy as Kenneth Branaghs $55m Murder On The Orient Express, but the ensemble cast is equally starry: joining Close are Gillian Anderson, Max Irons, Terence Stamp and Christina Hendricks. Close presides over her co-stars with gravitas and grace, in an understated performance that finds the humour in an otherwise bleak setup. But youd expect nothing less from the actor whose 40 years in the business started with star turns in Broadway productions (she won a Best Actress Tony in 1983 for Tom Stoppards The Real Thing). Her first film role, at the age of 35, was with Robin Williams in The World According To Garp, for which she received an Oscar nomination as she did for her supporting roles in The Big Chill and The Natural. Her performances in Fatal Attraction, Dangerous Liaisons and Albert Nobbs, about the life of a transgender butler in late 19th century Ireland, which she also co-wrote, racked up further Oscar nominations but still no win. This is seen by many as a travesty: Close brings a precision to her film work, honed through her years on stage. She has that rare taut quality Jack Nicholson also has it where you believe that beneath the steely control she is capable of snapping at any moment.

It was this that led Andrew Lloyd Webber to cast her in 1993 as the tragic silent movie star Norma Desmond in Sunset Boulevard on Broadway. Close reprised the role 23 years later, getting her old costumes out of storage (she has kept all her costumes and recently donated the collection to a university in Indiana) for its revival in Londons West End.

As Alex Forrest in Fatal Attraction: Clearly she had mental health issues. Photograph: Rex/Shutterstock

But it was her Oscar-nominated turn as Alex Forrest in Fatal Attraction in 1987 that proved career-defining. Thirty years on, Close still counts Forrest as the character of whom she feels most fond; she has admitted to fighting tooth and nail against the films eventual denouement, which turned the character into a bunny-boiling psychopath and Close into the casting directors go-to woman on the verge for years afterwards. Now we have the vocabulary to talk about these things, clearly she had mental health issues, she says.

Close sits regally still as she speaks, emphasising her points by leaning forward and locking eyes. Shes comfortable with silences and often takes a theatrical beat or two before answering questions. Shes all poise and control, but does she ever lose her temper?

I express my feelings quietly. I am not afraid of confrontation, but I am not particularly good at it. If I get attacked, I am not good at attacking back. There is fight, flight and freeze and I tend to freeze. That is not a strength of mine. I love the fact that my daughter Annie [Starke, an actor] is more of a fighter than I am. She doesnt let people get away with shit. While she agrees that women have a harder time being angry, publicly, than men, she says, I have played a lot of characters, and actually anger makes you lose power. Patty Hewes [in Damages] she hardly ever lost her temper, but when she did, it was very specific. I have always felt you lose power if you get that angry.

The collective outpouring of anger among women in Hollywood right now is something of which Close is acutely aware. She says that sexism in the industry has shifted more slowly than it should have done throughout her career: It took Harvey Weinstein and someone calling him out [for real change to happen]. I know Harvey, and he has never done that to me, but people would say he was a pig. I never knew that it was that bad and I dont personally know anybody who has endured that. I would like to think that I would have done something about it.

We discuss whether its possible to separate the work from the personalities involved in it. News has just broken that House Of Cards will be back for another series without Kevin Spacey, after it was originally canned because of harassment claims brought against its leading man. Close wraps her scarf around her chest and fixes me with her electric eyes. Artists, to make a huge generality, walk on a very thin line. Sometimes, like my beloved friend Robin Williams, who was one step away from madness, whatever makes them a great artist also makes them very complicated human beings. Again, that doesnt mean they can prey on and abuse people.

With Harvey Weinstein in 2013. Photograph: Mike Coppola/Getty Images

At the root of the problem of sexism in Hollywood right now is, Close says, biology. I think the way men have treated women, from the beginning of time, is because they have different brains to women. So I am not surprised by it at all. I say to a guy, Tell me the truth, if you see a woman walk into a room, what is the first thought that goes through your head? His answer, always, is, Would I fuck her? It doesnt mean they act on it. If you can evolve into a society where men know that they should not always act on it then there has been a positive revolution. But you cant just say that theyre not going to have the thought that is ridiculous. It also has to be the women, who are not powerful, to be OK to say no and leave the room. I think its unrealistic to say were going to change but we have to evolve.

I ask Close who she thinks is a great man today. She is silent, thinking, for what feels like a full 60 seconds in which I am so tempted to throw out some options: Barack Obama, the Pope, the friendly security guard on reception who let us in

Nelson Mandela, is her final answer, but Im not sure shes convinced. I guess for me, she says, greatness is taking your humanity and still doing the good thing. Its sad to say that there are very few men, who are leaders, who have some sort of moral code that they dont deviate from because of popular opinion.

She thinks we are undergoing a crisis of masculinity: In the public mind, yes. I was outraged when I heard that there was a war against men I was like, are you joking? What do you think has been happening against women for centuries?

Close knows all too well about the misuse of power, because her own upbringing was, as she puts it, complicated. When she was seven, her parents joined a cult. Moral Re-Armament or MRA was a modern, nondenominational movement founded by an American evangelical fundamentalist which extolled the four absolutes: honesty, purity, unselfishness and love. Her father, a physician working in the Congo, sent Close with her brother and two sisters from the family home in Greenwich, Connecticut, to live at the MRA HQ in Caux, Switzerland (Closes mother, Bettine, was a socialite).

She is vague on the details but clear on the impact this experience had on her as a teenager: I was repressed, clueless and guilt-ridden. The timeline is patchy, but Close travelled with MRA in the 60s as a member of their musical groups, and spent time back in Connecticut at an elite boarding school. I had a wonderful time at Rosemary Hall, a girls school, she says. I was in a renegade singing group called the Fingernails: A Group With Polish. But she remained, as she calls it clueless. A lot of my friends knew boys youd have these horrendous dances with boys schools and they would get the guys they wanted and I would just stay with the person I was with.

As Patty Hewes in Damages. Photograph: Rex/Shutterstock

She was briefly married before going to university. It is a complicated story for me. I was married before college, and kind of in an arranged marriage when you look back on it, and my marriage broke up when I went to college, as it should have. I was 22. But my liberal arts school had a wonderful theatre that was my training, my acting school.

Was that where she finally learned about sex, popular culture, the ways of the world? Not really, she says. I still am learning.

Close has two sisters, Tina the eldest, and Jessie her younger sister; and two brothers, Alexander, and Tambu Misoki, who was adopted by Closes parents while living in Africa. At the age of 50, Jessie spent time in a psychiatric hospital and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, a weight that had been hanging over the family, undiscussed, for years. Talking about mental illness just wasnt done, Close says. You dont have a vocabulary for it and youre also very aware of appearances. You dont want to appear a crazy family.

In 2010 Close founded Bring Change to Mind, a charity that aims to end the stigma around mental illness by talking openly about it and its effect on families. It was my nephew who was first diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. This is basically schizophrenia with an ingredient of bipolar. And when that happened, it was like, What? My sister Jessie, his mother, didnt know what was wrong. He went to the hospital for two years and that saved his life. Then Jessie was, finally, correctly diagnosed herself.

With sister Jessie in 2009. Photograph: Getty Images

Close felt a duty to her family to give them a high-profile person who is not afraid to talk about it publicly. It affects the whole family. We always knew my grandmother and mother had depression my sister does, I do to a certain extent. But I didnt know my great-uncle had schizophrenia. I knew my half-uncle died by suicide. There was a lot of alcoholism addiction, self-medication. Nobody ever talked about it. I knew my grandmother was depressed, but at first I thought she lived in a hotel, not a hospital, because she always said how good the food was.

Close says she and her siblings are of one mind politically, but admits she does have members of her family who voted for Trump. I tried to understand that. Theyre not crazy people who have been brainwashed by Fox News, but I try to understand the anger, because I think that has been building up ever since Watergate. It was watching that scandal unfold that made her realise Americans have always been naive, we just take for granted what we have, and we always thought of our leaders as good people. With Watergate, people became cynical about government.

Today, she says, Washington is a bunch of self-serving She searches for an expletive and after a second settles on men. She says, Its hard to believe that people are so out for themselves. It goes against what you would like to believe about your country. I feel eloquence is incredibly important for a leader, and we had that with Barack Obama, who made his initial impact because he gave that incredibly eloquent speech, but he lost his eloquence in his presidency. We always need someone to say, I hear you, someone who can put their words into unity and hope and we dont have that. I think the last person may have been Robert Kennedy.

And now you have Trump tweeting nonsense.

Its devastating. Social networks are now like our nervous system, and if you keep pumping that kind of crap into the nervous system, it is going to have an effect on a population.

With Kevin Kline in The Big Chill. Photograph: Rex/Shutterstock

Close doesnt talk politics with her friends because she doesnt really have many friends. I have always forced myself into situations I am not comfortable in. I am an introvert, and I was painfully shy as a child. I think I still have a big dollop of that in my persona. I read a book called Quiet: The Power Of Introverts In A World That Cant Stop Talking and it was a real comfort to me I realised I was that person I had always been. And it was at that point I told myself to stop pushing myself into situations that I dont enjoy. I dread cocktail parties.

She tells me shes pretty reclusive and can count her closest friends on two fingers. I ask if shes still good friends with Meryl Streep.

I have never been close friends with Meryl. We have huge respect for each other, but I have only done one thing with her, The House Of The Spirits.

I apologise for assuming they were pals, being of a similar age and stature in Hollywood, and admit this negates my next question: Who would win in an arm wrestle, you or Meryl?

Close laughs. Oh, I would, because I am very strong.

***

The tightest bond Close has is with her only daughter Annie, 29. Annies father is the film producer John Starke whom Close dated for four years from 1987, but never married. Annie was never a door-slamming, difficult teenager. Close tells me: When my Annie was three, she looked at me, and said, I want you. I knew what she meant. I, at the time, was a single working parent, sometimes even when I was home, working or producing something, I was there and not there.

With daughter Annie Starke in 2010. Photograph: Rex/Shutterstock

She doesnt think its any easier for working mothers today and acknowledges, I had it easy because I could afford to have help think of the women who cant afford it and have to put their child in some shaky childcare centre. No, I think it is incredibly hard for women. Any person, in any profession, feels that tug [of guilt]. We discuss the intimacy of the single-parent, only-child bond. Once, I went to vacuum Annies car seat as we were moving house, and a lot of life had happened there, so I was crying. She said, Mummy, are you OK? I said, Yeah, Im OK. And she said, Here I am.

She was married to businessman James Marlas from 1984 to 1987 and then, following other relationships, including that with Starke, she married again, in 2006, to venture capitalist David Evans Shaw, divorcing him nine years later.

Would she marry again?

I dont know.

Does she think marriage is important?

I think it is a positive evolutionary component that we are better with a partner. I think to have a partner that you can go through life with, creating a history with, that you can find a comfort with, have children with there is nothing better. This is an opinion I have come to very late in life, at an ironic moment, where I dont have any of that. I dont know if I will again. But I do think its a basic human need to be connected.

Despite this, shes happy on her own right now. This is a good time in life. I do think, what would it be like to have a partner again? But it would have to be very different from what I had before. Then I have that great dream and wake up happy.

Crooked House is on Channel 5 at 9pm on 17 December.

Commenting on this piece? If you would like your comment to be considered for inclusion on Weekend magazines letters page in print, please email [email protected], including your name and address (not for publication).

Read more: https://www.theguardian.com/film/2017/dec/16/glenn-close-harvey-weinstein-mental-illness-cult-fatal-attraction

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devils-gatemedia · 6 years

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As sure as the sun rises in the morning and sets at night, you know that come November the gig diary will be rammed, and clashes are inevitable. Spare a thought though for those that live in backwater places like say… Plymouth. Starved of gigs, I tell you. Starved. So it came to pass that the night Wigan’s finest, Bigfoot, ventured north of the wall, probably passing half their audience either going east to catch the Black Star Riders in Edinburgh, or going south to Hard Rock Hell in Wales. I’d put a wager on that, had the gig been the night before, they would have at least doubled the audience, but that’s life, I suppose, and those in attendance had a great time watching three young and very different bands putting their own stamp on proceedings.

The job of opening up the evening fell to local funk monsters Black King Cobra, a four piece, whose current single ‘Blood Rush’ is making people sit up and pay attention. Live, they sound bugger all like they do on the single, shaking it up as they stretch the songs out with some meaty jams. Free from the constraints of the studio, they showed great imagination, and a degree of improvisation, as they mix it up. At one point, vocalist Callum Moran left the stage and went for a quick game of darts as his bandmates go full throttle into a beast of a jam. At no point did they sound self-indulgent, just a young band not wanting to “play by the rules”. Good for them, I say. Moran has a warm, rich voice that in places reminds me of Mike Patton without the screaming or the cockiness that makes you want to twat Patton. The guys in the band are no slouches either. Drummer Steve Todd has a deft touch for a big fella and linked up well with bassist Johnny Keel who slapped the bass in fine Flea-style. Guitarist Ross Clark has been electrocuted onstage before, and plays like he still has a surge flowing through him, constantly spinning around lost in the music as he peeled off riff after riff. The set is very eclectic and very groovy. Listening to ‘Ball and Chain’, you might pick up a bit of Free’s ‘Fire And Water’ towards the end, but on ‘Blood Rush’ or ‘Wrack N’ Ruin’, it’s all about the bass, mon. Refusing to pin their flag to one genre, it’s best not to try and pigeonhole Black King Cobra, just enjoy the variation on offer. Find them on facebook.

You could count the gigs that Uproar have played on one hand and still have enough fingers to stick two up at the boss behind his back. Watching them on stage though, it is hard to grasp that they only played their first gig back in May. Throw in the fact that guitarist Garreth Neilly only joined the band a few weeks prior, and it makes a mockery of their relative inexperience. They came flying out of the traps after a short intro tape, and vocalist Johnny Hollis was everywhere… literally everywhere. He’s on the stage, then off the stage, getting in the faces of the cheering section down the front, a cheering section that included Hugh Jackman’s stand in from Wolverine, I should add. Hollis also sings with Titan Breed, a more extreme metal band than Uproar, who play their metal the groove way. Think Pantera, and you are on the right track. Hollis channels his inner Anselmo while the facial fuzz says Vinnie Paul. Uproar were the surprise of the evening. Those in the know knew, and those of us who didn’t know now do. ‘Wonderland’ is a total banger. Groove metal bands never forget the hooks or the melodies, and this one has them by the bucketload. Same with ‘World’s Collide’, which got the heads bobbing in appreciation, as did ‘Lost In The Dark’ and ‘Fight Song’. ‘Forever Burning’ was dedicated to a much missed friend. It’s a ballad, of sorts, without actually being a ballad. If the definition of ballad is “the slow one that punches you in the guts”, then it’s a ballad, a true showstopper. Let’s hope that the next gig is just around the corner as Uproar seem to have built up a head of steam. Check the band out on facebook.

Headliners Bigfoot are part of the ever growing bunch of young British bands out there bubbling under in what has become a very healthy scene today. Signed to Frontiers Music after the release of a few self-released EP’s, the self-titled debut album is finally out and the five piece are quietly going about the business of building up a solid fanbase. Plenty of Bigfoot T-shirts are dotted around the crowd waiting to get in, and the band members themselves are out and about, greeting fans like old friends. Once they hit the stage and steamroller into ‘Tell Me A Lie’, the joking around stops, and Bigfoot get down to what they do best. One aspect that makes them stand out from the pack is their use of vocal harmonies. Not simply satisfied with standard backing vocals, the guitarists add rich layers to the sound that vocalist Antony Ellis produces. Not so much Def Leppard, think more along the lines of Eagles or Kansas. The dual guitar sound from Sam Millar and Mick McCullagh is as impressive as ever and helps give ‘Eat Your Words’ a bounce factor. Again, the vocal harmonies are spot on. On the debut album, Ellis reminded me of Ian Gillan, not so much the screaming, as no-one does screams like Gillan, but the same style of almost talking the lyrics, ‘Prisoner Of War’ and ‘Freak Show’ being a few prime examples. It’s great to discover that this is still the same on the live stage. A very affable frontman, Ellis brings to mind the persona of Jack Black, but only if Black wasn’t so smug and annoying. The band are very well rehearsed, and you can tell that they put the hours in when not gigging. The crucial rhythm team of drummer Tom Aspinall and bassist Matt Avery form quite a formidable team. Avery however does seem to be suffering from a wardrobe malfunction of sorts, either that or the hashtag #FreeTheNip is trending again. I didn’t realise how cold it was that night, but you could have hung a wet dufflecoat on them. Distracting male nipples aside, Bigfoot have plenty of bangers in their arsenal, of which ‘I Dare You’ and ‘Forever Alone’ are two of the standouts… especially the latter with it’s soaring guitar solos and towering vocal performance. Away from the debut album, ‘Blame It On The Dog’ is the show stopper that it always is, and let’s face it, we can all identify with the lyrics…

Bigfoot are beginning to wrap up their gigs for the year, but you can catch them at Winterstorm Festival in Troon on November 24th followed the next night by an opening slot for Tyketto in Edinburgh. Highly recommended. More information here.

Review: Dave Stott

Images: Dave Jamieson

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Live Review: Bigfoot – Hard Rock Cafe, Glasgow As sure as the sun rises in the morning and sets at night, you know that come November the gig diary will be rammed, and clashes are inevitable.

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