#and let's never forget that this was ultimately *Gary's* decision

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia

Hope you dont mind but UtB Temsen scares me. Like... there are things about him that just make me feel very unsafe lol.

I'm not sure whether you intended for him to have such a threatening undercurrent but if I existed in the Underline universe I'd stay far far away from him. It's strange because I don't get that same sense of foreboding from Gary or Augus and I'm wondering whether that because Gary has a pov and Augus is simply not present much. But idk.

I get a sense that there's an extreme darkness beneath peak alpha Temsen's character. Like, he apparently cares about omegas enough to go into a rage on their behalf and later work at Hillview but then does and says things that are like the exact opposite Like admitting that he would've raped Ef if Ef had been given to him instead of Gary and would've done it despite witnessing first hand through his profession the type of trauma that sexual abuse causes. And the fact that forced sex would've been the first thing on his mind instead of investigating further and finding the source of the pain? Yeah that's... kind of chilling actually.

So in his mind, rape isn't ok if it's committed by other alphas (like ones at different facilities) but it's ok if he commits it?

And then reading some of your responses about how Temsen is with his one night stands, or how he'd potentially be with Gwyn, and it just solidifies my belief that even though he can be nice sometimes, he is not a nice person.

If i was an omega sent to Hillview, I would be horrified to even be in the same room as him. His kindness and goodwill seem extremely conditional and feels like it could turn around any moment if someone isn't "respectful" enough. Like, he didn't like Ef talking back to him and I have a suspicion that his reaction to it would've been worse if Ef was his instead of Gary's. Temsen seems to treat patients best when they're polite, passive and obedient, which are usually trauma responses and he knows that, but (judging by his behaviour/responses) still prefers it?

I also think his cheerful bedside manner is a mask he puts on and it hides something very dark and very ugly that not even Gary and Augus possess.

As you can probably tell I have quite strong feelings about Temsen lol. Most of them not good.

Please don't take this the wrong way, these aren't judgements! I just want to express and share my feelings about him as a reader. And maybe get your thoughts as well? I would literally read an entire essay dedicated to his character to see if I could see him in a new light.

I think the fact that he's not a pov character doesn't help him much. But then you've written other non pov characters before and none of them have made me feel like this so maybe it's just a UtB Temsen thing.

If you have the time and energy to spare, I'd love and appreciate your thoughts on his character. I always love reading your responses.

Thank you

<3

This ask is almost as long as my ask responses sdlakfjsda

And my response is VERY LONG so under a cut it goes:

Okay so, first things first, by our world standards, all of the alphas in Underline the Black are rapists. All of them. Every single one we've met so far. From the kind and caring Janusz who did not in any way obtain any kind of consent before raping Nate lovingly repeated times, to Anton who might get consent from Flitmouse this time but certainly hasn't in the past during heats, to Gary who has done god knows what to alphas before abandoning them, to Caleb who does not contain full and willing consent from the omegas he fucks and certainly puts the dubious in dubcon when he's with Faber.

So let's be blunt here, if we're going to be looking at these characters from like, our personal standards, they're all rapists. All of them. Some of them are nicer and friendlier than others, but this is a world where obtaining full and lucid consent from omegas in heat is literally impossible, and where rehabilitation facilities often make choices to put the physical health of an omega (i.e. the resolution of a heat) before the emotional or psychological health (i.e. letting the omega go through unfulfilled agony just to wait until they can get true consent).

When we look at almost all omegaverse stories through this lens, almost every single character becomes a rapist and/or capable of rape. It's one of the reasons so many of us like it so much, it's so good for rape fantasy + romance, and it fulfills a lot of the roles that oldschool Mills & Boon and Bodice Ripper romance used to fulfill. A lot of 'I hate it until I love it, and now I also love you.'

One of the things omegaverse does within the universe is create a culture where everyone just accepts this as normal, because heats exist and they must be fulfilled, because they can be fatal - and certainly agonising - if they're not. This is a world that has, by and large, decided that people dying of pain has more value than obtaining real and informed consent. Believe it or not, our world is also like this sometimes. Especially around certain medical emergencies.

In the specific context you're mentioning re: Temsen admitting he would have raped Efnisien, he's making it very clear that he would have done it in response to Efnisien's physical agony due to being in heat, and he says this in a regretful way, in the tone of someone who knows he would have been wrong to do that, after literally saving Efnisien's life during surgery, and I feel like you're really cherry picking Temsen's words here to justify how you feel about him, which is awesome - you can do that!

But if you bring it to me, I'm going to show the whole sequence of dialogue to demonstrate that he had a lot of humanity around this sentiment, instead of the absence of sentiment and humanity:

'I am sorry,' Temsen said with his formal forthright way of speaking. Gary hadn't expected the apology at all. 'I've had to put Efnisien first as my patient quite a few times over the last few days, but it leaves you neglected, and I don't mean the PACS, Gary. I...am doing a terrible job of being sympathetic to your circumstances. It would be easier, I think, if your actions didn't have a direct impact on Efnisien’s welfare. It’s hard to think when he’s in agony.'  'I know.'  'I keep thinking about the pain he's grown accustomed to. I'm... And on another matter, I think I'm in the strange position of realising an alpha who's that vulnerable has a kind of appeal, if I'm being honest. I think I might see you as a rival.' Gary lifted his eyebrows to indicate what he thought of that, and Temsen laughed.  'It's not a serious rivalry,' Temsen said. Gary didn’t think it was, or he’d be unable to be relaxed about it. 'I don't want him, he's too much work. But I'm pleased to have identified why I've been in such a strange state. I think it started off as protectiveness and became that thread of: 'Here's an alpha not doing a good enough job with him, I know I'd do better.' Realistically, I'm not sure I would. I'm not as kind as you are, for a start.' 'Kind?' 'I would have fucked him as soon as I knew he was in heat,' Temsen said, smiling slowly. 'Which would have been a nightmare, given the surgery he needed for a start. You're far kinder than I am, Gary, for all that you're a small-minded, petty tyrant, when it comes to your grief.' 

So the specific piece of dialogue you're referring to, is Temsen referring to a hypothetical situation where he suspects he would have done the wrong thing, and it would have been literally 'a nightmare' (his words) and he discloses that he knows he wouldn't be as good a match to Efnisien as Gary is, and also apologises for putting Gary second because he's had to put Efnisien first due to the agony he's been in.

That's the sequence in which he discloses that he'd hypothetically have raped Efnisien.

Which, incidentally, is similar circumstances in which characters like Nate and other omegas on-site do get raped by their alphas. Nate didn't consent, couldn't consent, and would have withdrawn consent multiple times. Is Janusz regretting that? He absolutely is. Will he stop? No! That's...the trope, and it's what I love writing, and it's why Underline the Blue and Underline the Black have a black box Rape/Noncon warning - not because of the histories of these characters, but because of their current relationship.

"And the fact that forced sex would've been the first thing on his mind instead of investigating further and finding the source of the pain?"

Yeah, that's literally the job! You'll note that Nate doesn't get a medical/surgical examination by anyone before his pain / heat is solved by sex with Janusz (if you haven't read Underline the Blue yet, that's what happens). That's extremely standard. For about 99.9999% of omegas and anyone going into heat, the source of the pain is the heat. This is also happening in Underline the Gold but those chapters aren't on AO3 yet.

It would be really unusual if he did assume the pain was caused by something other than the heat. And the only reason he did consider it is that he knows Efnisien's prior medical history.

Hope you dont mind but UtB Temsen scares me.

I don't mind! It's literally canon that he scares and intimidates many of the characters, including Flitmouse, Efnisien (at times), Nate, Janusz (to a point), and Anton (at times). The threatening undercurrent is there because many characters canonically say they find him intimidating or frightening, because they have felt nauseous around him, and because of explicit canon details about things he's done in the past, as well as being extremely pragmatic about admitting to wanting to harm or kill people.

So in his mind, rape isn't ok if it's committed by other alphas (like ones at different facilities) but it's ok if he commits it?

In context of what I said above re: all alphas being rapists in this story, it's more like:

Raping maliciously to intentionally cause harm because you enjoy it isn't permissible. Raping to save someone from physiological agony, when there's no other safe way to deal with it, is. That's...why Hillview exists. They don't see it that way, because their culture is different to ours: Heats exist, and alphas exist. That radically changes the entirety of their culture.

And that's why the story is tagged as a Dystopian Universe story. Because that's dark as fuck.

And then reading some of your responses about how Temsen is with his one night stands, or how he'd potentially be with Gwyn, and it just solidifies my belief that even though he can be nice sometimes, he is not a nice person.

Yes! He says this himself! :D He knows this better than anyone and that's why among other reasons, he's not an alpha companion and he's not interested in being one.

He knows his flaws, he's the one who told you his flaws, he says canonically and more than once that he doesn't see himself as especially kind or nice, he even says it in the sequence above where he admits that he would have assaulted Efnisien. Your belief is his belief, and it's a belief he shared with the readers and has shared with other characters. This isn't something Temsen hides from, and it's also not something he indulges, that's why he's not an alpha companion.

If i was an omega sent to Hillview, I would be horrified to even be in the same room as him.

Many of them are. If you haven't read them yet, you might want to look at Underline the Gold in particular, and sections of Underline the Blue, where the omegas freely admit they find Temsen at best intimidating and overwhelming. Flitmouse comes straight out and accuses Temsen of threatening him, and Temsen baldly admits that he is. And then he keeps doing it.

That doesn't mean they still don't prefer him over the other doctors they've seen though - *points forever at the Dystopian Universe* tag. Nowhere in this story are we saying he's a good consent-focused story, but we are saying this is a fucked up world where he might be the best an omega ever gets in their life.

His kindness and goodwill seem extremely conditional and feels like it could turn around any moment if someone isn't "respectful" enough. Like, he didn't like Ef talking back to him and I have a suspicion that his reaction to it would've been worse if Ef was his instead of Gary's.

Absolutely, again, that's why Temsen isn't an alpha companion.

But also, he's a peak alpha. Gary is quite unusual in enjoying the way Efnisien talks back to him, it's so unusual for peak alphas that he basically has a kink for it at this point and it's a fetish rather than like...a realistic representation of peak alphas.

Temsen seems to treat patients best when they're polite, passive and obedient, which are usually trauma responses and he knows that, but (judging by his behaviour/responses) still prefers it?

Highly recommend you read Underline the Blue and Underline the Gold, where he actively praises omegas for standing up to him!

In this sequence, Flitmouse is defending his right to death by starvation (cw anorexia and other disordered eating) and fires up:

'I've been- But I've been eating here!' said Flitmouse. Temsen's smile was sad. 'I always love when an omega can fire up a bit more around me. I appreciate you sharing this with me. It's safe to speak your mind around me. I just selfishly wish you weren't defending your right to starve to death so passionately. I'm glad you've been eating here. Keep doing it. Try to do it a little more. That's all I'm asking.

Please don't take this the wrong way, these aren't judgements!

I mean, they are judgements :D I just don't take it the wrong way because it's normal to have strong feelings about a complex and morally grey character, and Temsen is definitely that!

In addition, a lot of what you've written out is stuff that I have explicitly written out into the story, they're things Temsen has told you / other characters about himself. He is his own biggest warning, and he is very aware of his flaws and the reality of his nature, if he desperately wanted to rape omegas, don't you think he'd have chosen to be a companion by now? He certainly could have, very easily. None of this stuff is hidden or swept away, these are things Temsen puts front and centre, and then it's up to others how much they see that or don't see it. But Temsen also puts other aspects of himself front and centre which you (and others) choose to ignore or think are false, which I think is created by the tempting trap that if someone has very awful qualities, all their good qualities must be a lie or a mask.

And that's not reflective of how complex people (and characters) really are. But it's a lot easier to deal with a character when we can sweep them into the 'I just don't like them' box or the 'I just like them and I don't see the bad stuff' box.

Temsen's good qualities are very real. He's dedicated his entire life to omega QOL improvements, and has created those tangible improvements in a dystopian universe. If he was a 'normal' peak alpha, he would have euthanased Efnisien the first day he arrived on site - maybe he would have raped him first. This is very very much a dystopian universe. I'm not going to try to convince you that he's 'good' because that's very simplistic, he does very good, and even heroic things, and he does very bad, and sometimes really awful things. These are just facts about him. And then it's up to other people to decide where their line is re: liking him or not.

In fact of all the characters we've met, Janusz has raped someone on the page and Gary has (re: Efnisien), we know Anton has historically for work, and Augus.

The only significant alpha who hasn't ever done this to omegas is actually Temsen.

The most important thing to me personally is that all Temsen has told you so far is speculative. He speculates that he would have raped Efnisien, but he actually saves his life. He speculates that he's not very kind, and then puts Efnisien first and sacrifices sleep for him to find articles that will make him more comfortable. (I would tender here that you're believing his hypotheticals over his repeated actions) He doesn't tolerate disrespect from an alpha, because that's how alpha rapists are created (he is stern with Efnisien because he's an alpha, because alphas who are allowed to disrespect others become like Gwyn or Christian or Vadim), but he accepts it often from omegas, who are vulnerable and need to learn how to speak up.

That's what's important to me! But I also think he's a dick, lol, and I like that about him. I don't need a character to be good or pure to love the shit out of them, and that's how I end up writing a world where almost every alpha is a rapist to some degree, and most folks still end up giving them a pass anyway, because the stories are fun and entertaining, and these people and world's aren't real.

TL;DR: Temsen is a complex character capable of healing, heroic, cruel and controlling actions, and I think you're cherry picking certain parts of his dialogue / actions to justify how you feel about him while missing others, which is absolutely your prerogative as a reader! But honestly, if you just don't like a character, or find them too dark, you don't need a reason for it - you can just not like 'em - feelings are the most irrational things we have, after all, and often resist logical justification. :D I'm not really trying to change your mind here tbh, feelings are feelings, but I am the kind of person who will point out the inconsistencies in a discussion, especially when invited to sdlkfjsa

#asks and answers #underline the black #underline the rainbow #ohlo ohlo temsen #but yeah the first thing we have to get out of the way is every alpha in this story is a rapist #by our standards #but their in-world standards it's different #like literally different #they don't see it that way - and they would struggle to see it that way #temsen is ironically one of the few who *does* see it that way #pia on characters #pia on characterisation #temsen is one of my favourite characters in this story because he is very polarising #and because i think he exists as a way of highlighting #how manipulative and strategic it was #to make a peak alpha the doctor of a rehabilitation facility #and let's never forget that this was ultimately *Gary's* decision #which he still stands by

[ravenadottir]

just a quick storytime but during the holidays, we had our family gathering and i don't usually talk to anyone else aside from my cousin. but during that time, she just broke up with her ex bc he cheated on her. so i felt bad and consoled her the entire time and tried to make her feel better and let her know that she deserves someone who wouldn't treat her like shit. but THEN just recently the got back together and im so close to giving her the same speech i did during the holidays.

this honestly reminded me of a post you made way back then about the mc cheating on the li but i was wondering would they ever take the mc back? and how long would it take before they think of the incident as a thing of the past?

ok, about your cousin... i've been there before. i've been cheated on, and i've been you in this scenario.

eventually i realized when people go back together is because that's what they need in that moment. even if it's a mistake, sometimes it's a mistake that needs to be made by her. i just hope things go smoothly after this.

now, about the islanders:

would never take a cheater back:

lucas. even though he's cheated in the past, he knows the head space that the person has to be in to do it. he wouldn't be able to forgive or forget.

lottie. as someone who takes pride of being so loyal, there's no second chances with her. to her it's the ultimate betrayal and the person would have to be prepared for the screaming match ahead.

kassam. not only wouldn't forgive he would also be firm and monossylabic about it. leaving is the best he can do and he will. it's almost as if she was dead to him.

carl. he's categorically sincere and wouldn't waste another second listening to what she has to say. "i don't care your reasoning behind it. this isn't one of those things that i can forgive and forget. you're always gonna look like someone who hurt me, that will never change.", brute and direct.

elisa. yeah, no, there's no excuses. she puts cheating on "the other person not knowing my value" and she would never allow that to happen a second time.

considering for a hot second but not going there:

bobby. cheating would destroy him. it really would. the thought of someone consciously making that decision is truly unforgiveable. and he mentioned on day 1 someone had done it to him before, there's no excuse that would change his mind.

gary. there are no second chances, and especially after going through in the past, and her knowing that? there's no way he could find in his heart to forgive her, as much as he tried.

marisol. after the villa i feel like she has become more compassionate, to the point of thinking it over instead of going straight to no, but eventually cheating takes a toll on her.

noah. this might be the most divided he could ever be. on one hand that's how they got together, and he was as much involved in it as she was. on the other hand, he knows that's at least the second time she has cheated. even if she promised the world to him eventually he wouldn't stay with her.

priya. nope. she has betrayed people before, and made many mistakes. she knows the person needs to grow on their own to be able to be loyal eventually and it's not her job to stick around and wait for it to happen.

take her back:

henrik. but it would take a really long time for him to trust them again. there wouldn't be any easy roads to take with him, and the thought of possibly happening again hovers his head a lot. if she was invested in never repeating that mistake he could forgive her, but she would have a lot to show.

ibrahim. he knows sometimes things happen in the heat of the moment, possibly not having a deeper meaning. what he went through with jo might be the thing that keeps him from breaking up.

hannah. maybe it's naive of her to forgive, but she hasn't been in many relationships, and is still relatively young. she's definitely more optimistic about it than most people would be, and if she thinks the girl will do better then... why not trying again? it would take her some time to forgivem but i reckon she would.

#litg #love island the game #litg s2 #litg season 2 #litg bobby #litg carl #litg elisa #litg gary #litg hannah #litg henrik #litg ibrahim #litg kassam #litg lottie #litg lucas #litg marisol #litg noah #litg priya #queue #group asks #cheating

[lonewolfearp]

Dream the Impossible Dream

We all have a dream inside us. Remember the old song Dream the Impossible Dream well that dream is not impossible I am here to tell you. Read the article and make your dreams come true

You have the ability to attain whatever you seek; within you is every potential you can imagine. Always aim higher than you believe you can reach. So often, you'll discover that when your talents are set free by your imagination, you can achieve any goal. If people offer their help or wisdom as you go through life, accept it gratefully. You can learn much from those who have gone before you. But never be afraid or hesitant to step off the accepted path and head off in your own direction if your heart tells you that it's the right way for you. Always believe that you will ultimately succeed at whatever you do, and never forget the value of persistence, discipline, and determination. You are meant to be whatever you dream of becoming.-- Edmund O'NeillWhen one starts out drawing the map of the journey of their life there are some rules to mapping this journey. "Thank Goodness for at this point I feel so overwhelmed that I don't know where to start," you say.Ok let's begin the journey of a lifetime starts with the first step. Sometimes these steps are staggering and indecisive but they get stronger with each step one takes. Success is a choice. You must decide what you want, why you want it, and how you plan to achieve it. No one else can, will, or should do that for you. Start in the moment. The Power is always in this moment. So say you want a new job. Start by doing your very best on the job you have.“What” you say,” But I want another job, one that pays more, the hours are better, and a job where I  am appreciated” We always have to start where we are. Start paying attention to all that you do. Do it with excellence, then that task will be successful. Success builds on itself. So make each day a success and you will have that new job in no time.

Be grateful for the work you have. I can’t say enough about being grateful for what we are grateful for expands. If we feel real gratitude for the work we have and look for the good things about our work we are aligning ourselves with the Universe and the Universe will respond. You will be in that new work you want before you know it. So you are dreaming  the impossible dream. Start with making a map of your journey. It is always better to have a clear map when you go on a trip. This impossible dream is making your life the way you want it so investing in a map or a clear plan is worth all the time you spend on it. . Staying focused is a close relative to being decisive, but your ability to sustain your focus from beginning to end determines the timing and condition of your outcomes. Again the outcome lot depends on:

1. Your belief in yourself. Your ability to keep on trudging when things fall through or the going gets rough.

2. Be persistent, especially in those times when we lose the belief that this impossible dream can come true.

3. Stay focused, if you scatter your power to the wind then you lose power that you need to make this dream come true.

4. Only do today”s work today. Do not try and do too many things at once. Do one thing at a time with excellence. When we try and do too many things at once we lose touch with ourselves. We become too tired to go any further. This is the time to stay.

5. Have long talks with yourself, see where you are on this journey.

6. Take a day or a week off. Rest but then when you are refreshed renew your journey toward your dream. 7. See yourself already having your dream, like the little girl who knows under the Christmas tree is the doll she dreamed off. In her minds eye she is already playing with the doll. Or the little boy that sees himself riding his new bike, he feels the wind in his hair .Remember that feeling of anticipation, no one could of told you that Santa was not bringing the doll or the bike. 8. Accepting delays is a important part of any map. We have no choice but to accept temporary obstacles.. You have no choice but to expect it as a temporary condition on the path way of progress. Rather than becoming discouraged and quitting , the question is how to anticipate delays and redirect resources to grow from the experience. Delays gives one the incentive to go back to the drawing board and see where your map failed you, for you did not fail just part of the plan was not built on solid rock foundation. So learn from your experience and go on.The game of life is won in the hours spent with oneself dreaming the Impossible dream. When you are open to a new path one will present itself. You must dig within your own unique perspective of life to find this dream and manifest it for it is yours and yours alone no other person can dream this particular dream. Friends can advise, relatives can guide you with their experiences but it is your dream to manifest on this journey not theirs. Remember that Your future deserves consideration. It will someday be your present reality. It's worth considering seriously. Some pitfalls that keep us from obtaining our goals is setting our goals to high or too low. One of the most frequent reasons why some people find so much frustration with their goals is because they set them too high. Creating goals that are unattainable not only makes it impossible to succeed, but it also creates a negative attitude towards oneself. "I knew I couldn't do it." Well, setting a goal to be a ballerina when you are 65 is probably not very realistic. When you set goals too high and constantly fall short you may just give up. The reverse of setting unattainable goals is when goals are set too low, there is no motivation to work hard. When you feel like you don't have to work that hard to reach your goals, you don't think about them nor do you really care if you reach it. People do not have trouble keeping the goal in front of them if it is something they really want. But if it is just something they are settling for then they often lose interest. In order for people to feel compelled to work hard towards something, they must feel challenged. Setting goals too low decreases motivation and energy. So we go back to seeing in your minds eye the Christmas doll under the tree. You want her don't you? You get excited when you think about brushing her hair, riding her around in a buggy. So reach for the stars! You have within the potential to move mountain. Set your goals so each step brings you closer to them but they are not quite in reach. This keeps one excited about the journey. When you set your goals make sure they are both challenging and attainable. This way you will be motivated to work hard and feel the rush of success when you accomplish your goals! Anticipation is sometimes as good as the  rewards of achieving the goal. So go on make your map one step at a time. and remember it is good to have an end to journey towards which we are working, but it is the journey that matters, in the end........

References:

Your Spiritual Gold Mind: The Divine Guide to Financial Freedom - Page 180 by V. John Alexandrov

Planning And Goal Setting for Personal Success

by Samuel Blankson - Self-Help - 2005 - 212 pages Page 11

Goal Setting 101 : How to Set and Achieve a Goal! by Gary R. Blair

The Magic Lamp: Goal Setting for People Who Hate Setting Goals by Keith Ellis

What Are Your Goals: Powerful Questions to Discover What You Want Out of Life by Gary Ryan Blair

Crisp: Goals and Goal Setting, Third Edition: Achieving Measured Objectives (Fifty-Minute Series,) by Larrie Rouillard

[hiphopguerrilla]

Pro Sasuke Uchiha : Constructive Criticism of Kishimoto’s Antagonist

Disclaimer: I am not a critic. To anyone that disagrees, my humble opinion doesn’t count for anything because I’m just some loser in his mom’s basement as far as you’re concerned. I’m little more than a disappointed fan. Thank you for reading if you’ve go this far. Hope you can read the rest with objective consideration and without bias. This will be a long rant, you’ve been forewarned.

So I’ve been on a spree of criticism of Kishi’s work. Cannot help being criticil of an Artist/Writer who has let me down just as many times as he/she has inspired me. So because he let me down he has inspired me to write about some of the things I’m very critical of because I have no closure from the series and I can’t help but feel “Next Generation”  wasn’t about love for writing the story anymore.

In the beginning of the series Sasuke isn’t yet the antagonist, but it’s clear Kishi intended the to of them to be rivals while building what was supposed to be, and in many ways, is a story of incredible bonds and friendship. It was clear he had a motivation behind what he wanted to do as far as the character developing into and I see, it seems anyway, that he deviated from that. 

By the early stages of the character development it is established through Sasuke’s monolgue to Sakura “I am an avenger” that he never stopped grieving the loss of his clan and family and that he wanted the same closure fans never got. He said to Kakashi “I will restore my clan” and while I’m certain this isn’t meant to be taken literally he wanted to do right by their memory. 

Understanding that he didn’t just lose his family, he was literally tortured at the age of 8(forced to endure something that had Kakashi bed ridden for a week), he lost connection to his heritage(remember Madara is one of the founding members of the village yet Sasuke had no clue who he was), he lost his idol in Itachi and was forced to deal with a damaged psyche that no one could really repair Itachi drilling in his head that he was some sort of coward. He has both an inferiority complex and a superiority complex because of the standard the Clan is held to. Rather than knowing what is and isn’t true with his parents to guide him through his mess of a life.

What’s disappointing is by the end of the series that wasn’t the main take away from his character. Why? Because the development of his character was stifled by Naruto. Yes, I’m talking about the main character of the story. It’s very relevant to know and understand that Kishi didn’t take time to develop many of the characters in the story. Tenten, Hinata, Lee to an extent, Ino, Choji, Kiba, and Shino among others I may even be forgetting because....yea its obvious.

So to the point. Naruto borders on being a gary stu because, seemingly, Kishi was more partial to him than anyone Sasuke included. That’s not to say Sasuke didn’t get charcter development, just he didn’t develop in a way that was understandable to the majority of fans.

As I was saying about the end of the story none of this is understood. Worst part being that Itachi overshadows Sasuke’s character in a way that is completely disrespectful to fans who had great insterest in the development of him as Sasuke’s antagonist. I do not in anyway disagree with the choice to make Itachi remain his loving brother, who made a difficult choice for the good of the village and the one he cared for the most, but to be honest the logic that comes out of Itachi’s choice and reasoning by fans loving him so yet having great disdain for Sasuke as describe: Whiny, emo, ungrateful, selfish, among other things is a fallacy. Most of those things are inaccurate as well hypocritical to praise Itachi at the same time. 

Firstly lest start with him being ungrateful or selfish. It was immediately after the death of his clan, that this clearly life altering even influenced him to decide without doubt that he would devote his life to seeing JUSTICE for what happened then. This is how the story STARTED, please understand that it wasn’t until part 2 that this turns into full blown revenge and blind hatred in a completely hypocritical manner that made fans who already disliked Sasuke absolutely loathe him. I’ll say again this is merely so Naruto could play hero and save his soul(see there I’m getting irritated thinking about this already).

If you have a goal like becoming Hokage, or President of the United States, or First Pick in the NFL draft, or becoming head Medic nin, whatever real life or fictional you know that you can’t just decide to give it up because people say it is Irrational. Sasuke’s ultimate goal was to avenge his family. That meant he had to become strong enough to defeat Itachi, which meant sacrifices must be made.

What did he sacrifice. A normal childhood, his friendships, and the closest thing he had to a family since his blood relatives died. Yet Sasuke is selfish? Sacrificing your frienships and chance at a normal life in favor of a decision you made at 8 years old because of the family you LOVED is probably the most selfless thing a person can do. I often see people compare him to both Kakashi, and Naurto in these cases to justify loathing his character and making silly memes to ridicule him.

Kakashi couldn’t get revenge on anyone, seeing as how his only family commit suicide, The White Fang was not murdered/slaughtered. As far as Rin and Obito, they died in the line of duty they weren’t killed simply because some evil bastard(as far as Sasuke knew) wanted to “Test my power.” 

Naruto, had no connection to his family until Jiraiya and also had no concept of vengence until Jiraiya died, and If we are really to give credit where its due, the only reason he chooses not to avenge him is 1. Because it would go agaisnt his Masters wishes 2. Because he see the weight Sasuke’s had to carry and wants to free his friend from that pain. He can’t do that if he chooses to walk a path that was not his. 

Another thing that Kishi made very clear was that was the point. Sasuke was at his best when he was written as a character that manifests his own reality, and walks his own path without regret. Let’s not forgot that Fugaku is nothing like Jiraiya. He didn’t raise Sasuke to aim for peace or anything like that, in fact, one of the Uchiha’s rules is that they don’t take prisoners. Yet another reason Sasuke took it upon himself to kill Itachi, it was his duty.

Then of course, yes I’m about to go there you’ve been wared, there’s the SasuSaku thing. Why? Just why? This relationship, was never called for from the get go. Another reason so many Americans are so messed up that they don’t understand the difference between true love and infatuation. Where does Sakura’s “love” begin, where does Sasuke’s more importantly? Was that established with any certainty?

In the beginning the bulk off their interaction consisted with Sasuke ignoring her and calling her annoying. The nicest thing he says to her the entire series is “Thank you.” seriously? Not “I’ll miss you.” not  “I care for you...deeply” but “Thank you.” Thats like something you say when someone passes the salt at the dinner table.

What is their connection? I refuse to bring up other pairs because is about Sasuke development as a character not SasuSaku. Sakura does nothing but follow Sasuke around like a love sick puppy and by the end of the series, it somehow pays off and while it may feel like a win for fans of that pair, to me as a fan of the overall series and writing that makes sense even in a fictional world where characters have superpowers. There should be some logic there at least. 

What we know at the start of part one is Sakura is a 12 year old girl with a crush on the most popular boy in school. Hilarious, that’s the foundation of this pairing, never in part one and hardly anything in the series at all does it explain where these “romantic” feelings developed. It least we know why Hinata admires Naruto (sorry nothing more on NaruHina,another time perhaps). 

And Sasuke never shows any affection to her what so ever besides “Thank you.” of course and gently lying her on the park bench. Don’t think I don’t notice the SasuSaku moments either. Like when he was about to break both of Zaku’s arms and Sakura hugs him. Probably as close ot romance as it gets and Sasuke is being hugged from behind. He doesn’t initiate the hug and he doesn’t hug her back, he stands there suprised at probably the first time he’s been hugged since his mother was murdered.

Understand this, if you take that as a sign Sasuke felt the same, fine. That is absolutely acceptable, even understandable. However, for me, that is a bit half assed. It’s really not much to go on over the course of 700 chapters to say they “fell in love”. Because to me love does not equate to trying to force someone to notice you for two years, having attempts at affection met with disdain and even physical assault, like when he slaps the apples she spent so much time carving out of her hands as she visited him and tried to feed him at the hospital. 

I’m sure I don’t have to mention the actual attempted murder at the summit to anybody so that’s all I’ll say about it for now. Now back to Sasuke’s overall story as I prepare to close. The summit was probably the biggest chance to turn Sasuke into an admirable character in fans eyes. 

Instead what Kishi does is comepletely wreck his character, so he can be the antagonist and be saved by Naruto. There’s even this little comparison by Karin where she see’s how evil and corrupt Sasuke is, another innocent he tried to kill, and then sees how pure Naruto’s soul is. It was ridiculous. I understand Naruto is the hero of the story, but that never meant Sasuke HAD to be the villain.

He even turns the entire situation with Danzo and his orders to have the Uchiha clan annihilated into a complete mess. Sasuke has gone batshit, and rather than being a person trying to do right by his clan and his brother’s memory, Kishi turns him into this absolute fiend who will murder even his own allies just to make some silly point based on a story told him by a guy who’s real faces he’s never seen even once. A guy who wasn’t even the real Madara Uchiha. As if Sasuke was never strong enough to separate himself from his emotions and what he believes is right. Itachi was already dying and he wanted Sasuke  to kill him as atonement. He killed the uchiha in favor of the leaf why would he want Sasuke to destroy the village.

If he were written properly Sasuke would’ve killed Danzo and walked his own path, facing Naruto one final time and either dying or leaving all of that mess behind. It would’ve been fine for him to return to the village if he there to sow seed and start a new with the Uchiha clan. Instead he's a glorified prize for Sakura and Sasusaku fans, as well as someone Naruto basically stalked for 2 years just to force him to not even be in the picture anyway.

As I said in the beginning, or someone in the middle maybe. Sasuke was at his best when he was written as an independent character walking his own path and sacrificing what mattered most to him in favor of doing right by his people, his family, his clan. I thank anyone who made it to the bottom of this post.

#constructive criticism #naruto shippuden #naruto part 2 #manga/anime #anti-sasusaku #pro sasuke uchiha #madara uchiha #itachi uchiha #the uchiha clan #musashi kishimoto #poor-writing #character development #gary-stu #antagonists #anti-heroes #sasuke uchiha #sakura haruno #naruto uzumaki

[capitanogiorgio]

1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 8, 9, 11, 13, 14, 15, 16, 22, 28, 35, 39, 41, 43, 44, 55, 58, 67, 68, 70, 84, 85, 87, 88, 91, 93, 99 : GOOD LUCK 👍

1. Three teams you like 

Juventus, AS Cannes (and Valenciennes FC) and Liverpool

2. Three teams you do not like 

Inter, R Madrid and Nice

3. A team you can’t tolerate and you do not even know why

idk… I usually have a rugh idea why I don’t like a team of football especially if it’s at a “can’t tolerate” level. So no idea.

4. A team that surprised you in recent years (negative way or positive way) 

Actually the Spurs. I’ve never followed them apart from reading results or other relevent articles. They’ve progressed and have a strong team. There’s also Liverpool who has come back being a serious contender for titles, Klopp’s has done wonders.

6. The thing you dislike the most about your club or NT 

For both Italy and France it’s the lack of patience of the fans (and I know I can lack some at times). For France NT it’s especially that kind of French mentality that I’ve seen countless times : if we win, we’re the best, we’d known all along we would win but the minute they lose everyone’s like “Of course, french in sports are always so inconsistant, overpaid brats, smh, I knew we’d lose.” and stuff like that and it drives me mad.

For Juve, it’s that lately, there’s this big clash with the spirit of the club and a huge “marketing ideal” for lack of better term : the new logo, billion years away from the historical one, the huge rise in seats prices and a disdain for the ultras who pretty much are the only one who sings at the stadium and it just look like a big enterprise being run for maximum profit forgetting parts of what is essentials to the club in the process.

8. The one time football made you so happy you couldn’t stop smiling for days 

The first time was Italy NT’s win in 2006. I felt invicible at 10 years old. I had spent a whole month being teased at, Italy being insulted at recess, some kids not speaking to me because I was the only one supporting Italy and being shamelessly vocal about it. I spent all that journey on my own, even my parents thought it weird and I was devastated french TV wouldn’t show all the games of Italy NT or when my parents didn’t let me watch because I had school in the morrow. I was also very sad because I was being transferred in another school when I knew nobody and I’d lose all my friends because the school was in the neighbouring city. I learnt that the day before Italy - Germany and gosh, I cried and I cried again at the late goals of Grosso and Del Piero. It helped lessen my dramatic 10 year old self. And then the final, when Italy won I was so happy. I had to hid the remote control so my parents wouldn’t turn off the TV because they didn’t understand the point of watching since France had lost but I argued. I couldn’t tear my eyes of all my heroes lifting that golden cup and the next day when I faced everyone at school that had told me Italy was shit and would never win all month long. Biggest smile on my face. Three days later my mom took me to the sports shop and bought me the 4 stars jersey and I still have it today.

The second was when Cannes, while in 4th division, beat Saint-Etienne right for my birthday in the round of 32 of the Coupe de France. It was super cold and it went all the way to the penalties and we won and it was the first time I saw the stadium full, completely full with about 12000 people. It was magical. At the end there was a pitch invasion and players celebrated with fans it was amazing. We went to win against Plabennec and then against Montpellier, another Ligue 1 club ! We went up until the quarter finals but ultimately lost to Guingamp. But that feeling was… Amazing.

9. The one time football made you so sad you cried for days. 

First there was Cannes getting sent to 7th division. I thought it was so unfair since the owners had done fuck all while the team gave their max. There was Alex leaving Juve the way it happened. And more recently it was Italy not qualifying for the World Cup and Gigi leaving Juve. Gosh that one was a hard blow I spent the whole week crying from his press conference to the game and after.

11. Five players you really admire purely based on football

Giorgio Chiellini (what ??)

Paolo Maldini

Thierry Henry

Eden Hazard (saw him twice when he was in Lille and it was already a recital)

Iker Casillas

13. Five most underrated players in your opinion

So many qzesrdtfygu ! Any GKs and Defenders go there. For having many OM fans in my acquatainces and being up to date with their club as a result, I’d say Hiroki Sakai is really underrated. Unpopular opinion but Pippo Inzaghi was constantly underrated for saying his goals are easy and he’s lucky and he doesn’t know how to play. I said what I said. Danijel Subasic, my good peeps and that’s the truth. Hm Olivier Giroud and Hugo Lloris ???? ANYONE ???? (that counts as a two for one package). And as a very great and Scouse philosopher once said : “Gary Neville is the most underrated player”

14. Five most overrated players in your opinion

Ronald, Titbot, Rami (and even more since the world cup win), Ratmos, Müller (sorry Garance)

15. Name 3 most despicable figures in football in your opinion (coaches, players, owners, companies, anyone…)

UEFA and FIFA tbh.

16. What makes your favorite coach better than other coaches?

He screams like a metal rock star ! And he’s super intense :

Also because he’s done a tremendous work winning 4 Coppa Italia, 4 Scudetti, getting to two UCL finals and keep the team hungry for more !

22. Favorite Left Back today

Me of course aqzesrdtfqzesrdtfyghj ! Ugh today ? I’d go with De Sciglio (he’s polyvalent)

28. Your dream eleven

Buffon, Maldini, Chiellini, Scirea, Gattuso, Pirlo, Giggs, Beckham, Del Piero, Inzaghi, Vieri

35. Favorite tactical formation

4-3-3 or 3-5-2. Although my first love in managing games was the 4-1-2-1-2. Or as I like to call it : 4-4-2 losange !

39. A moment in football that changed you as a person. (e.g injuries, trophies, or transfers)

It’s honestly quite a rollercoaster when you’re ten years old to see your heroes win the world cup and then learn a week later that your favourite team is going to Serie B. I didn’t understand. That was the first time I really read all articles and papers I could find on the matter, even going to the public library to look at the ones I couldn’t buy and try and read everything to understand.

There was also Riccardo Montolivo’s injury just before the 2014 World Cup and Laurent Koscielny’s injury before the 2018 World Cup. I saw both happening in front of my very eyes and I felt awful, I almost wanted to cry. Injuries at such a time are, truly, the worst thing. And Montolivo wasn’t left alone by injuries afterwards and it breaks my heart.

Also, that 2005 ucl final like. The d r a m a (tm)

41. A player you are ashamed of loving

No shame, no regrets, just love !

43. Your achilles’ heel. The player who is your weakness.

Gigi Buffon (and Pippo Inzaghi)

44. Which team did you support the last time two teams you hated played against each other?

None, I wished for a draw aqzesrdtfygu

55. Three players from past generations you wish you had seen

Gaetano Scirea, Giampiero Boniperti and George Best (and Lev Yashin)

58. Most undeserving winners you can think of

Portugal at Euro 2016. They had the crappiest run and yet…..

67. A rival player you wish had joined your team

MON-TO-LI-VO, Icare about nothing ! Otherwise, although he’s a milanista through and through, would have love Gattuso at Juve, see how it would have been.

68. The time you really thought about leaving football

I never wanted to left but I had breaks. It especially coincided when I was playing football myself and the club’s environement was shit. I received insults just because I was 100% at training and dared tackle the ball away from the starlette diva of the team and the coaches didn’t bat an eye. Spent a whole year like this before I had enough and changed club.

70.The best transfer decision your club made

Just saying but buying Andrea Barzagli from Wolfsburg for 300k was like. Genius.

84. A player you wish you could’ve known in real life because you really think you guys could’ve been best friends.

I’d go with Andrea Pirlo, my good bitch I love dearly

85. A player who you want as your partner (lover, boyfriend, husband)

Pippo Inzaghi or Alessandro Del Piero.

87. Five players who others find attractive but you just don’t see it

Max Allegri for Beatrice Icardi, Luka Modric, Griezmann,

88. A player you think you totally would have had a crush on if you were born in another generation

Probably George Best and Paolo Rossi

91. A player who you think has the worst sense when it comes to fashion

Pretty much all players who lived the 90′s and early 2000s. But like… Gigi Buffon always delivered….. looks™ lmao

93. Top 5 bromances that you swear by.

Giorgio Chiellini and Leonardo Bonucci bitch !

Pippo Inzaghi and Bobo Vieri

Dejan Lovren and Mo Salah

Rino Gattuso and the Dickheads™

France 98 is a whole bromance by itself

99. The 5 most attractive players in your club and NT

Juve : De Sciglio, Matuidi, Bernardeschi, Dybala and Chiellini

France NT : Samuel Umtiti, Raphaël Varane, Blaise Matuidi, Benjamin Pavard and Nabil Fekir

Italy NT : Salvatore Sirigu, Ciro Immobile, Mattia De Sciglio, Federico Bernardeschi and Giorgio Chiellini

Thanks !

[portfoliosmedia]

75 self-love phrases to increase our confidence https://ift.tt/34CpdpN

A compilation of famous quotes and reflections on self confidence.

Self-esteem is that quality that allows us to value ourselves , love and accept ourselves as we are.

Finding our self-esteem in this hyper-sexualized society where unreachable canons of beauty expose us can be extremely complicated at times, finding a source of inspiration in other people's thoughts can be useful in those moments when we think we are less valid or valid than those around us.

Great famous phrases about self-love

Who we really are comes from our personality or our values, not our mere physical appearance. That is why we have made a collection of 75 phrases to improve our self-esteem and increase our confidence so that we can go out and say to society: Here I am!

1. You are always with yourself, so you better enjoy the company. (Diane Von Furstenberg)

We must love and value ourselves for the person we are but above all for the person we want to become.

2. You yourself, as much as any other being in the entire universe, deserve your own love and affection. (Buddha)

We must recognize that everyone, including ourselves, needs to be loved and accepted.

3. The worst loneliness is not feeling comfortable with yourself. (Mark Twain)

When we are not happy with the person we are we must change the chip and invent ourselves again.

4. A man cannot feel comfortable without his own approval. (Mark Twain)

We must be consistent with our ideas and thoughts.

5. Too many people overestimate what they are not and underestimate what they are. (Malcolm S. Forbes)

On many occasions we underestimate ourselves for no reason, we must have faith in ourselves.

6. The best thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself. (Michel de Montaigne)

We must find ourselves and put our thoughts in order.

7. It is never too late to be what you could have been. (George Eliot)

We can reach our personal goals for the entire duration of our life, it is never too late.

8. Until you value yourself, you will not value your time. Until you value your time, you won't do anything with it. (M. Scott Peck)

To reach our goals we must first accept ourselves and discover what we really want.

9. Celebrate who you are in the depths of your heart. Love yourself and the world will love you. (Amy Leigh Mercree)

Accepting who we are can be one of the biggest steps we take throughout our lives.

10. If you are not happy with your appearance, you have to ask yourself how much self-love you have. (Tyrese Gibson)

The love for ourselves will not be given to us by any other person, we must love each other so that others may love us too.

11. We cannot be so desperate to receive love as to forget where we always find it; indoors. (Alexandra Elle)

The greatest love we can receive will always be the one we have for ourselves.

12. Owning our stories and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we will ever do. (Brené Brown)

Undoubtedly, a very true date that keeps a great load of reason, we must accept and love each other that will form us as better individuals.

13. What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what is within us. (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

We are our worst enemy, to break all the barriers of life our main rival will always be ourselves.

14. As I began to love myself, I stopped craving to have a different life, and I could see that everything around me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it "maturity." (Charlie Chaplin)

Life is a wonderful thing, in infinity of occasions we are not able to see all the positive aspects that it offers us.

15. The only person who can depress me is myself, and I am not going to let me get depressed anymore. (C. JoyBell C)

We are the main causes of whether we are depressed or happy, because our way of thinking is what leads us to those two states.

16. You've been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn't worked. Try to accept yourself and see what happens. (Louise L. Hay)

A date that encourages us to be more positive and love each other much, perhaps that is the path to happiness.

17. I think the prize of conformity is that everyone loves you, except yourself. (Mae Brown)

If we do not value ourselves anything we can achieve will make us proud, we must fight for our dreams.

18. Jealousy has more of self-love than love. (Francois de La Rochefoucauld)

Jealousy can be the result that when we see that our loved one may be interested in someone better than us, we may feel inferior or unworthy of that person.

19. When a woman becomes her best friend, life is easier. (Diane Von Furstenberg)

Accepting ourselves is the first step in channeling our lives where we want.

20. Our first and last love is self-love. (Christian Nestell)

In order for others to love us, we must first love ourselves.

21. The most important relationship you'll ever have is the relationship with yourself. (Steve Maraboli)

A phrase that describes very well the term "self-love", our most lasting relationship in life will surely be the one we have with ourselves.

22. A person learns to love himself through the simple acts of loving and being loved by another person. (Haruki Murakami)

The love that our parents transmit to us in childhood can be that tool that we use to forge our own love.

23. A well-ordered self-esteem is fair and natural. (Thomas Aquinas)

The great Thomas of Aquino, in this event, invites us in the first instance to love ourselves.

24. Not only self-love and love for others go hand in hand, but ultimately, they are indistinguishable. (M. Scott Peck)

When we know who we are and have developed a life from that premise, we will value ourselves in the same way as others will value us.

25. Don't sacrifice yourself too much, because if you sacrifice too much there is nothing else you can give and nobody will care about you. (Karl Lagerfeld)

Sometimes, in couple relationships we lower ourselves to make our partner happy, which we should not do because if we do not value ourselves first our partner will not either.

26. If you don't love yourself, you won't be happy with yourself. If you can't love yourself, you can't love anyone else. (Kemi Sogunle)

When we don't love each other, we are complexed and with it all the other relationships we may have will be vitiated by that lack of self-esteem.

27. Love your neighbor, yes. But love yourself first. (Solange Nicole)

Self-love is something we must practice and from which we can surely extract a large dose of personal wisdom.

28. When you love yourself, you make better decisions. (Minaa B)

Taking into account our desires and thoughts we can make a decision according to what we need.

29. I am more than my scars. (Andrew Davidson)

The experiences we have throughout our lives make us stronger and more proud people, we should not be self-conscious about the marks that they can leave us in our aspect.

30. When you stop living your life based on what others think of you, real life begins. (Shannon L. Alder)

We must know what we want from life before it can be delivered to us.

31. Your time is too valuable to waste on people who cannot accept who you are. (Ominek Turcois)

Those people who do not accept us as we are will not bring anything positive in our path therefore they must be let go.

32. How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you. (Rupi Kaur)

The self-love that we process is in the first instance the opinion that others will have about us.

33. We are in our most powerful moment at the moment when we no longer need to be powerful. (Eric Michael Leventhal)

When we know who we are and have great confidence in ourselves, what others think is totally indifferent to us.

34. I am my own experiment. I am my own work of art. (Madonna)

Madonna's "look" changes have always given a lot to talk about, but she has always had great self-esteem and great self-esteem, which she has demonstrated throughout her career.

35. You will never know who you are unless you get rid of who you pretend to be. (Veronika Tugaleva)

Sometimes people use a kind of alter ego, which we disguise to look like a different person in front of society, if we do not know what person we want to become we can never know who we really are.

36. The goal is to learn to be affectionate with yourself so you can feel free. (Deborah Day)

The love we can have for us and the care we deserve to have will not be given to us by anyone other than ourselves.

37. Some of the most beautiful things worth having in your life are wrapped in a crown of thorns. (Shannon L. Alder)

Sometimes we go through painful moments to learn to value ourselves and accept our feelings, getting to know each other is a path we should all follow in life.

38. In your own life it is important to know how spectacular you are. (Steve Maraboli)

Being aware of our virtues will allow us to use them in a much more effective way.

39. Sometimes, being happy requires effort. Invest time and energy in yourself and your happiness. (Amy Leigh Mercree)

We must devote time to what makes us happy and realizes us, because with that we will be much more complete people.

40. The shortage of self-worth cannot be remedied with money, recognition, affection, attention or influence. (Gary Zukav)

If we value ourselves first, no one will do it in the second place, our self-love transmits the person we are to others.

41. We are all gifted in a unique and important way. It is our privilege to discover our special light. (Mary Dunbar)

Discovering what our strengths are is something we should all do, because with them we can develop correctly in the world where we live.

42. Accepting ourselves as we are means valuing our imperfections as much as our perfections. (Sandra Bierig)

Our imperfections are what make us unique, unlike any other individual.

43. Why should we care about what others think of us? Do we have more confidence in their opinions than in ours? (Brigham Young)

When we are fully aware of who we are, the opinions of others cannot penetrate our subconscious.

44. You are very powerful, as long as you know how powerful you are. (Yogi Bhajan)

If we don't know about our qualities we can never put them into practice, personal discovery is essential in our lives.

45. People who love themselves do not hurt other people. The more we hate each other, the more we want others to suffer. (Dan Pearce)

When we are not happy with who we are we transmit it to others causing them the same unhappiness.

46. ​​The most difficult challenge is to be yourself in a world where everyone tries to make you another person. (EE Cummings)

We must be consistent with who we really are, have our own ideas and carry them out without hesitation.

47. You cannot be cheerful with a sense of self-contempt. (Ram Dass)

To achieve happiness, the first thing is to accept ourselves as we are, with our mistakes and virtues.

48. Whatever you do, love yourself for doing it. Feel what you feel, love yourself for feeling it (Thaddeus Golas)

We must be our greatest confidant throughout our lives, accept ourselves and learn from our mistakes.

49. Growth begins when we begin to accept our own weakness. (Jean Vanier)

When we are aware of our weaknesses it is time to improve them and make them our strongest point.

50. We do not conquer the mountain, but ourselves. (Edmund Hillary)

The journeys of this climber led him to have a very high understanding of himself.

51. You really must love yourself to do something in this world. (Lucille Ball)

Without self-love we will never achieve high goals in our lives, it is essential.

52. To establish true self-esteem we must focus on our successes and forget about failures and negative aspects in our lives. (Denis Waitley)

Those achievements that we achieve with our effort help us to improve our self-esteem and to be able to project it much better towards others.

53. Do not trust another person to have happiness and self-esteem. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can't love and respect yourself, no one else can do it. (Stacey Charter)

We ourselves are the main causes of our happiness or our sadness, no one other than us can really take us from one or the other.

54. I think everyone is strange. We should all celebrate our individuality and not be ashamed of it. (Johnny Depp)

What makes us different from the rest is what we value most of ourselves, take advantage of that asset and squeeze it to the fullest.

55. I care about myself. The more lonely, the less friends I have, the less support I have, the more I will respect myself. (Charlotte Brontë)

Being consistent with ourselves can lead us to a path of loneliness, but we must be the person we are really indistinctly to the liking of others.

56. You can search the entire universe for someone who deserves your love and your affection more than you deserve it yourself, but you will not find anyone. (Sharon Salzberg)

If we do not profess a great love for ourselves, no one will come from outside and will.

57. I am beginning to weigh myself in terms of strength and not in kilos. Sometimes, in terms of smiles. (Laurie Halse Anderson)

Being happy is the most important thing in life, our self-esteem can be our best ally.

58. It is not my responsibility to be beautiful. The purpose of my life is not that. My existence is not based on how desirable others find me. (Warsan Shire)

A great date without a doubt, self-reification will not lead us to achieve personal happiness.

59. How different would your life be if you stopped allowing other people to poison it with your opinion? May today be the day you see your true beauty and live without the validation of others. (Steve Maraboli)

The opinion that really should matter to us in the first instance is ours, that of no one else.

60. Tell the world that you are a unique creation, that you came to experience wonders and spread happiness. (Victoria Moran)

We will transmit to the world the values ​​that we grant ourselves, self-assessment is essential in personal growth.

61. You must tell yourself: I am not willing to accept less than I deserve! I am intelligent! I am beautiful! I am a good woman and I deserve to be happy! It all starts with you. (Amari Soul)

The phrases of support that can penetrate us in our spirits are the ones we tell ourselves.

62. Losing confidence in one's body is losing confidence in oneself. (Simone de Beauvoir)

Our self-esteem largely governs our way of relating to other people and within society.

63. Each star is a mirror that reflects the truth in you. (Aberjhani)

Knowing how to appreciate our qualities will allow us to stand out in society with the force that characterizes us.

64. Life begins now. Live, love, laugh and let your inner light shine. (Rob Liano)

We must enjoy life to the fullest, but for that we must be happy with the person we are.

65. You are not made to live a mediocre and mundane life. (Steve Maraboli)

We must aspire to transcend.

66. I believe with all my heart that the clichés are true, that we are our best friends and the best company we will have, and that if you are not suitable for yourself, it is impossible for you to be suitable for someone else. (Rachel Machacek)

The way in which we treat ourselves is the same that others will use to interact with us.

67. You are not what other people think you are. You are what God knows you are. (Shannon L. Adler)

The opinion that people can have of us does not define the person we really are, we should not let ourselves be influenced by it.

68. Confidence is knowing who you are and not changing a bit because the version of the reality of others is not your reality. (Shannon L. Alder)

We must be consistent with our thoughts and not let them become contaminated by the thinking of others.

69. Write in your heart that you are the most beautiful soul in the universe. Realize it, honor it and celebrate life. (Amit Ray)

Loving ourselves is the pillar by which our personality will be built, without self-love we are nothing.

70. Diamonds are not polished and shiny from the beginning. There was a time when the diamond was nothing special, but with pressure and time, it became something spectacular. I am that diamond. (Solange Nicole)

The difficult situations we go through, the problems, the disappointments, all this will create the person we will be tomorrow.

71. For a moment, you believed in yourself, believed in your beauty and the rest of the world did the same. (Sarah Dessen)

For others to be aware of the greatness we possess, we must first be aware of ourselves.

72. If you celebrate what makes you different, the world will too. The world believes exactly what you say. (Victoria Moran)

The way we see each other will be the same as everyone else will see.

73. You may be the only person who believes in you, but that's enough. One star is enough to pierce the dark universe. Never give up. (Richelle E. Goodrich)

When no one believes in us, it is the best time to show them that they are absolutely wrong.

74. Believe in yourself. Have faith in your abilities. Without humble and reasonable confidence in your abilities, you cannot be successful or happy. (Norman Vincent Peale)

If we do not believe in our capabilities, we cannot use them to our advantage.

75. If you don't know what you want, you'll never find it. If you don't know what you deserve, you'll always settle for less. (Rob Liano)

Knowing what we expect from ourselves and what we want to achieve in our lives, can be two difficult things to know, we must ask ourselves and then react accordingly.

#Blogger

[thewanderingartista-blog]

Mira

8/19/17

Photo: Gary and Soren Smith Center, Ohlone College

Mira is warm, sweet, and very kind. Her very presence is soothing and keeps the nightmares at bay. Everyone loves her and her big heart. She is the kind of person who made sure that no one is left behind, always nursed and cared for every single soul.  

Raised by a loving yet conformative family, Mira was taught to be “proper”, adhere to tradition, and follow orders. Her family consisted of a mom, dad, and two brothers (one younger, the other older). For the most part, they all got along pretty well… but sometimes occasional tension would arise. You see, her family has a name, a reputation to uphold. Duties must be completed with no delay and Mira’s calculative parents are wealthy and powerful, so there is an image that must be maintained. Society, the world, they need a leader. A damn well respectable one. There can be no trouble, no secrets or scandals… otherwise they would lose everything they have built in a blink of an eye.

In a household, particularly in an Asian one, being professional and reputable is a no brainer. Compared to other parents, I feel that Asian parents want their children to have a strong backbone or structure at an early age. This would enable them to have a stable future. Of course, there is nothing wrong with that. In fact, having structure at an early age prepares you for future obstacles. You have more opportunities to take advantage of, develop strong networking skills, and are better mentally prepared for the future. Although implementing these things from an early age is crucial, doing so can also make them forget what it is like to enjoy life. To enjoy the smallest moments. To smile, laugh, and cry.

To go on countless adventures and make timeless memories.

This is a small excerpt from Mira’s story. Insight into her life.

So with her parents’ support, Mira decided to venture out beyond the walls of her home and explore the outside world. She came here to America from her hometown in hope of pursuing a better education and independence. She wanted to see how people interacted with each other and how their lifestyle contrasted with hers. She wanted to see and experience things in person; to go on adventures and feel the thrill.

Mira had ventured through various places of the town, and stumbled upon a marketplace selling a variety of goods. There were fresh produce, odd trinkets, homemade crafts, and much more. Mira observed many things. Some people were sitting at small shops, drinking their cup of tea or coffee whilst reading the local paper. Others were calling out to the public to advertise their products. At a park not afar, children were running about, smiling and laughing while playing tag. Mira smiled at everything and everyone. The genuinity in her smile showed how much she enjoyed the warmth and liveliness of the town; how much she appreciated the little things.

Then a particular person caught her attention.

He was in his mid thirties, had brown eyes, and lean, tall, and very much handsome. Mira took note of his broad shoulders and the way that he walked, but she also noticed how “tired” he was. He seemed to be working day and night with little or no break at all. Beneath his eyes, there were bags and the expression on his face looked as if he was empty and lost. The man wasn’t like the rest of the crowd, he was an intriguing and contrasted with the happy atmosphere of the town. The man made his way to the park and sat down a bench to take a breather. He tilted his head back and let out a long sigh as he gazed upon the blue sky. Mira was fascinated by this guy. She couldn’t help but feel a certain pull begging her towards him. She couldn’t help but wanting to get to know him.

Then slowly and unknowingly, she found herself making her way towards him. But upon realization, she stopped.

Why did you stop when you did?

Her reply was: “I was raised in a stereotypical environment where women were expected to obey and take on the role as a housewife. Of course, that is how most strict, conforming households are, but in my case, I come from a place where devotion comes before everything else. Devotion to family, religion, and upholding the family reputation. I come from a place where it is hard to make yourself heard, known, and acknowledged. Raised in a household where hopes and dreams are bleak. Where freedom is impossible to even think about. I was hesitant because I know these things can’t possibly come true for me.

Back in my hometown I lived with two other siblings. We were all expected to do our part. My parents, parents’ friends, and boss had high hopes for us (They still do). As a result, I have this huge weight on my shoulders. It creates emotional baggage, but physical as well. I usually from eight in the morning to eight at night, no extra pay or compensation added. On top of that the commute to work is troublesome. And at times, when I feel like I am not enough, hopelessness find its way in and I am trapped in a mental prison. Suffocated with sorrow and despair.

Even in my dating life, my familial and societal expectations have a say in it. My parents, especially my mom, believes that a perfect suitor would be someone from my temple. She goes on saying that there are many young, healthy and wealthy looking men. Yes, I understand her point of view and concern, but I made it clear that if I ever fall in love, it would be with someone with scars riddled all over; someone who is not perfect. Someone warm and genuine. Because you see, there is beauty hidden among the scars. There is beauty in the story that lies underneath in all the wounds that has been inflicted.

Additionally, I’ve also dated guys before who had little or no interest in solid relationship. A few just came for the thrills and wanted have some fun. And then there were some that really tried to push my buttons. Let’s just say that those guys were persistent on getting some ‘bed exercise’ -she chuckles-. But really, I want something more than just a physical connection. Lust is an important factor that jump starts a relationship, the foundation of it. It is emotional connection that represents the missing piece of the puzzle.

But it seems for me, finding someone whom I can call ‘home’ will never happen. Loyalty is rare and people tend to choose good time over a lifetime commitment because it is less hassle. I feel tired; exhausted to the point of hollowness.

( This is a story of my friend. An ordinary person with a heartbreaking story. Her name is Mira. I met her during my first year at college. At first glance, she may seem quiet, frail, and isolated. But the truth is once you get to know her, she’s the sweetest and wisest person you’ll ever meet. However, with most people, there are scars and stories that go beyond the ocean’s deepness. From the outside, things may seem alright, but on the inside, there lies a different story.

It is a story that I have seen one too many times. 

But despite such obstacles, that shouldn’t stop you from pursuing happiness and doing what you love. I get the logical standpoint that your parents offer, but it ultimately comes down to you. It’s your decision, your life, your story. Yes we need logic and guidance in our lives, but we also need support in other aspects as well. And eventually, we are going to transition into independence. We can’t depend on our parents forever and vice versa. Above all, we can’t be tied down.

I’m not saying that parents are suffocating. I’m not saying that I’m not grateful for their advice. What I’m trying to say is that we need to be able to go out on our own and explore. To be independent and experience many things. To meet new people and make new friends. To be given a chance.)  

[meraenthusiast]

The ONE Thing Summary – Do You Know Your ONE Thing?

The ONE Thing Summary

I remember first reading The ONE Thing by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan shortly after it was released in 2012.

Back then, I didn’t know what my one thing was.

Recently after watching Jay Papsan’s Wealth Building With The ONE Thing & Millionaire Series talk he gave at Google (see video below), it inspired me to take it off the bookshelf for another read.

Now, after rereading it eight years later, it’s become much clearer what I should be focusing on and what I should be avoiding.

Since I first read it, my life has become much busier with distractions as I’m sure yours has too.

I’m constantly bombarded with emails, texts and calls that keep me from doing my most important work. Let’s also not forget about work, family and staying healthy. All these demands take a toll.

If you’re a frequent reader of this blog, you know that I’m passionate about teaching others how to build streams of passive income to reach FIRE and fatFIRE quicker to stop trading time for money.

This is also a major personal goal of mine too.

But the challenge I face (and you might too) is that it’s NOT the only goal. I set other types of goals both personally and for my family. So if I make progress on one goal, many times it means losing progress on another.

In my case, I can choose to work toward any number of goals today, but the truth is that progress on some goals means none or even potentially negative progress on others.

It’s now become clear that I need help with a method of prioritizing goals which is why I’m so glad that I reread the book.

Here’s The ONE Thing Summary that will also help you achieve what you’re striving for.

Let’s get going…

The ONE Thing Summary

Here’s Sam Davies’ The ONE Thing Summary in three sentences:

The ONE Thing is the best approach to getting what you want.

Success is a result of narrowing your concentration to one thing.

Success is built sequentially, one thing at a time.

Who this book is for

This book is for anyone:

That feels as if they have too much on their plate

Constantly trying to do too many things at once

Hoping to become more productive

I guess this book is for me as I fit all categories.

Go Small

The author, Gary Keller, talked about in areas where he gained success, he focused his concentration to one thing.

He claimed that, “When you want the absolute best chance to succeed at anything you want, your approach should always be the same. Go small.”

This concept really hit home with me as I have to constantly remind myself to ignore all the things I could be doing and only focus on what I should be doing.

So instead of focusing on 10-20 things, go small and focus on one.

The Domino Effect

My kids and I loved this story both in the book and in the video above.

In our The ONE Thing summary, the authors discussed something called the “domino effect.”

They mentioned a study performed by a physicist that found if someone pushed over a domino, it then can knock over another one that’s 50% bigger.

So if you start with knocking over a 2 inch domino then:

the 10th domino would be as tall as Peyton Manning

the 18th domino would be the size of the Tower of Pisa

the 23rd the size of the Eifel Tower

the 31st taller than Mount Everest

the 57th would nearly get you all the way to the moon

Check out this illustration from the book via NJLifehacks.com:

Here’s a video testing the domino effect theory:

Most people know how to knock over dominos. You line them up and tip over the first one which starts a reaction knocking over one at a time.

But in the real world, things aren’t so straight forward. I don’t know about you, but life hasn’t lined everything up to tell me where I should start.

In the book, we come to realize that highly successful people know that each day, they must line up their priorities in order, which means knocking over that lead domino first until it falls.

They know that extraordinary success is sequential, not simultaneous. You do the right thing and then you do the next right thing and over time it begins to add up.

It’s all about lining up the domino, giving it all of our attention, knocking it over, and then lining up the next domino. One thing at a time.

Over a long enough time period, big things will happen.

Success Leaves Clues

Reminiscing back to dental school, I thought I could succeed alone. I was wrong. In The ONE Thing, we learn that no one succeeds alone.

We each have passion and skills, but you’ll see extraordinary successful people with ONE intense emotion or one learned ability that shines through, defining them or driving them more than anything else.

Courtesy of NYtimes.com

This makes me think of Michael Jordan. Not only was he one of the greatest basketball players ever to play the game, his drive and passion always showed through while playing.

The Lies

The book discusses six lies that mislead and derail us.

They are:

The Six Lies Between You and Success   

Everything Matters Equally

Multitasking

A Disciplined Life

Willpower Is Always on Will-Call

A Balanced Life

Big Is Bad

#1 Everything matters equally

My grandmother used to say, “Son, make good decisions.”

But when our lives are defined by our decisions, the important question becomes, How do we make good ones?

Also, the older I get, the more it seems must get done. I’m overbooked, overextended and over committed.

When everything feels urgent and important, everything seems EQUAL.

The problem with that is that if you constantly split your attention, you’re never able to bring intense focus to a single thing that will bring success.

Many of us (myself included) use a to-do list. Keller recommends using a “success” list instead.

To-do lists are long where as success lists are short. One pulls you in all directions; the other aims you in a SPECIFIC direction.

If your to-do list contains everything, then it’s probably taking you everywhere but where you really want to go.

So what should we do?

The answer is simple, enter the 80/20 Principle

80/20 Principle

You’ve probably heard of the Pareto Principle (AKA 80/20 rule). It states that 80% of your results come from only 20% of your efforts.

If that’s the case then we should focus on the few things that truly matter. After doing that, we can then take those 20% again and narrow it down even further. So ultimately, we only have one domino to focus on…then we start off by knocking it over.

Here’s an example from the The ONE Thing on how to convert a to-do list into a success list:

#2 Multitasking

This chapter in the book made a big impact on how I now go about getting things done. I used to be big on multitasking as it always seemed to be a good idea on the surface.

But when you try to do two (or more) things at once, you either can’t or won’t do either well.

It’s not that we have too little time to do all the things we need to do, it’s that we feel the need to do too many things in the time we have.

Instead, we should avoid multitasking as much possible and focus on the one task that’s most important.

Multitasking all includes any other types of distractions such as cell phones. For instance, if you’re at your desk doing work with notifications coming in left and right, you’re basically multitasking waiting to check them as they pop up.

I get more work done when I completely power down my cell phone instead of just putting it on silent.

When I’m focusing on performing my ONE thing, I want a distraction-free environment.

#3 A Disciplined Life

We’ve all been told at some point in our life that we have to be super-disciplined in order to be successful.

The ONE Thing says differently. The truth is we don’t need any more disciple than we already have. We just need to direct and manage it a little better.

Success is about doing the right thing, not about doing everything right.

The trick to success is to choose the right habit and bring just enough discipline to establish it.

When you do the right thing, it can liberate you from having to monitor everything.

#4 Willpower Is Always on Will-Call

I liked the way the author described willpower in the book. He compared it to something like a cell phone that has a rechargeable battery.

What happens to your phone’s battery life throughout the day? If you charge it overnight then it starts off with a full charge, right?

But as it’s being used, slowly the juice starts to deplete until either it’s recharged again or it powers off.

Willpower is no different. Once it’s out of juice, it too needs recharging. You can’t always have 100% willpower.

Here’s a perfect example: I love sweets. Whenever I go to a party for an extended period of time, I notice at first, my willpower is strong.

But the longer I stay, the harder it is to not dig into those darn chocolate chip cookies!

Because your willpower, like a rechargeable battery, decreases throughout the day, you should focus using your willpower on the things that are the most important things in your life.

What’s the absolute most important thing you need to do today to move forward on the things you want to achieve in life? Use your willpower to accomplish that.

#5 A Balanced Life

We routinely hear that we should have a stable work/life balance but the authors disagree.

They recommend a better approach: counterbalance

After you give intense focus to the important area of your life for a set period of time, you should then counterbalance it and put other areas front and center for a while.

An example of this comes from those of us with kids still at home. For me, my focus shifts to more family time/vacations and coaching them in the summer when they’re out of school.

Because of this, I’ll have a major focus of researching/writing articles in the spring to get ready for the summer months. This is my counterbalance.

#6 Big Is Bad

When people set really BIG goals, many times they give up as it usually takes a tremendous amount of time and energy to achieve them.

The authors recommend looking at the things achieved in life as a rectangle. The bigger the area of the rectangle, the bigger the achievement.

They stated that the dimensions of the rectangle are determined by two factors:

thinking/planning

effort

We use both of these when trying to accomplish goals and if you put in equal amounts of both, you can expect to accomplish a larger goal with less effort.

Do you remember what Abraham Lincoln told someone regarding chopping down a tree?

“Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” – Abraham Lincoln

The Focusing Question

After reading countless numbers of books on how to better raise our kids, my wife and I noticed a recurring solution, “ask questions“.

One of the top ways to influence someone is in fact to “ask questions”.

Voltaire once wrote, “Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.”

Dr. Robert Cialdini has a fantastic book, “Influence The Psychology of Persuasion“. If you haven’t read it, do so soon. It will help you in all aspects of your life.

One of the most empowering moments of Keller’s life came when he realized that life is a question and how we live it is our answer.

Because of this, he recommended using a key focusing question before you decide on doing something during the day that you may or may not think is important. Get it? It seems that they are wanting you to ask YOURSELF a question so you can in turn influence yourself.

That question is:

What’s the ONE thing I can do such that by doing it everything else becomes easier or unnecessary?

Once you come up with an answer then that’s what you should be focusing on.

It forces you:

to prioritize

focus on one thing

be specific

And by doing this, it then directs you to take action.

“How we phrase the questions we ask ourselves determines the answers that eventually become our life.”

Here’s a few examples using The Focusing Question:

For your financial life:

What’s the ONE Thing I can do to increase my net worth… ?

What’s the ONE Thing I can do to improve my investment cash flow… ?

What’s the ONE Thing I can do to eliminate my debt… ?

For your spiritual life:

What’s the ONE Thing I can do to help others… ?

What’s the ONE Thing I can do to improve my relationship with God… ?

Let’s shift The ONE Thing Summary to successful habits…

The Success Habit

Now that we’ve learned about the Focusing Question, it’s not too hard to guess what the success habit is….using that focusing question for every area of your life in order to achieve BIG results.

Many readers of this site come to me looking for ways to achieve financial independence.

After they sign up for the Passive Investors Circle, I have a call with them to discuss their goals.

Many times they have multiple ones and we focus on narrowing them down to one or two.

Then, I instruct them to get into the “success habit” of asking themselves the focusing question:

“What’s the ONE thing I can do to move myself toward financial independence such that by doing it everything else becomes easier or unnecessary?”

The Four Thieves Of Productivity

In our The One Thing Summary, we learn about the four thieves of productivity that you should avoid.

Inability to Say “No”

Fear of Chaos

Poor Health Habits

Environment Doesn’t Support Your Goals

Inability to Say “No”

I’m sure you know someone that can never tell someone “no”. My wife is one of those people. Looking back, I used to be that person too until kids, work and other activities have taken over my life.

If I don’t set boundaries and tell others “no”, I won’t be able to connect with my ONE Thing.

Too many people are afraid of hurting others feelings by telling them “no”. If that’s you, think about coming up with a way to say it in a way that you’re comfortable with.

Fear of Chaos

If you’re in a relationship, have kids and a job, then your life can be chaotic at times. Trust me I know, it’s normal.

Things aren’t always going to go in our favor. Stuff happens. That’s okay.

But it doesn’t mean you should give up on your ONE Thing. Over time, you’ll learn how to deal with it so it doesn’t control you.

Poor Health Habits

Our pastor once told the story of a 95-year old multi-millionaire that asked a college student to trade places with him. He told him that he’d have all the money that he’d ever need.

The young man declined saying, “What does it matter to have money if I can’t get out of bed and enjoy it?”

When’s the last time you were sick? Not fun, right?

If you’re not healthy then you won’t be productive.

Your health and your success depend on each other to survive and thrive.

The authors recommend that we:

Exercise

Medidate/pray

Focus on being content with what we have

Enjoy family/friends

Environment Doesn’t Support Your Goals

An article from Forbes magazine sums it up best, “Surrounding Yourself With The Right People Changes Everything.”

Oprah tells us, “Surround yourself only with people who are going to lift you higher.”

If you’re around negative people that constantly shoot you and your ideas down, it’s going to be next to impossible to achieve your ONE Thing.

The Three Commitments

As we close out The ONE Thing summary, the author recommends that we commit to three things to make all of this work:

Follow the Path of Mastery

Move from “E” to “P”

Live the Accountability Cycle

Follow the Path of Mastery

You’ve probably heard the phrase, “Life’s a marathon and not a sprint. Enjoy the journey along the way to your destination.”

Often, the “one thing” is really about building up a particular skill to a high level through deliberate practice.

As we try to achieve that big specific thing we’re aiming for, we should be building mastery of particular skills along the way. That’s part of the journey.

Move from “E” to “P”

Keller teaches us that most people have an Entrepreneurial “E” mindset. These people typically aim for being “good enough.”

Instead, he recommends, that we should aim for becoming as skilled at something as you can be, which he calls “P” or “purposeful.”

It’s a constant commitment to growing, building skill, and improving, even when you’re already “good enough” to achieve a low level of success. Lifelong learning and deliberate practice are the tools.

Live the Accountability Cycle

Too many people suffer from “exuse-itis.” If you’re not where you want to be in life, it’s nobody’s fault but your own.

Ultimately your success comes down to…..YOU.

There’ll always be obstacles and unexpected events.

Don’t let your environment control you, control the environment.

There’s too many people that point fingers and blame others but never look in the mirror to take ownership of their own lives. Once you take responsibility, you’re in control of your destiny.

The ONE Thing Summary – Final Thoughts

Whether you know what your ONE Thing is or not, reading this book will help you figure out what you really want out of life and how to achieve it.

I realized after re-reading this book a second time, I needed to focus on blocking out my time, and eliminating distractions that were keeping me from doing my ONE Thing daily.

What really helped me was relearning the focusing question which is something I’m using more at work and with my personal life.

This question is a powerful director of keeping me focused on my ONE Thing and avoided all those other little pesky things that pop up during the day that I used to “think” needed to be done.

The post The ONE Thing Summary – Do You Know Your ONE Thing? appeared first on Debt Free Dr..

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The oddities of Britain’s constitution exposed | Letters

Gina Miller has courageously initiated and secured a momentous ruling (PM misled the Queen, the people and parliament, 25 September) at great risk to her person and her purse. But why was this action by a private individual the only means of securing “the absolute supremacy of parliament over the government or executive”?

It is all very well clearly establishing the judiciary’s role, but there seems to be a missing part of the process, and that is in the initiation of legal action. Could parliament have triggered legal action against the executive itself? If not, why not? After this judgment, can they do so in the future?

We are all very grateful to Gina Miller, but at the same time we should be asking ourselves why our constitution leaves it to the chance that a private individual will take on such a huge risk. Virginia Strauss West Moors, Dorset

• Our democracy is not served when it is subservient to the decisions of unaccountable judges. Now that the supreme court has stepped so decisively into the political realm, it must expect to come under democratic scrutiny.

The political views of its members must be revealed, and henceforth candidates for our highest court must be subject to intensive scrutiny by a cross-party committee of parliament. Those who have liked the short-term gain of the supreme court’s judgment might well live to regret its long-term consequences. Francis Bown London

• Your reference (Editorial, 25 September) to the 1611 opinion of Sir Edward Coke that government “hath no prerogative but that which the law of the land allows”, along with King James I’s view that this was tantamount to treason, brought back to me a similar sentiment in The Papers of Nathaniel Bacon of Stiffkey, volume VI, 1608-1613. Bacon was a North Norfolk puritan squire, an MP and an implacable opponent of the machinations of courtiers and their ilk.

In a private memorandum of 1610 on parliamentary business, he mused on whether “it be fit, to make it preamunire or treason for anie person to maintayne or hold opynion, that the parliament may not bind both king & subject even in matter of prerogative”.

I don’t think he ever articulated that view in the House of Commons, but it was certainly an interesting thought and quite consistent with Coke. It remains as relevant today as it was then. It would do Boris Johnson good to forget his classical training and read a bit more history and law, before he digs himself into yet more holes. Your editorial also correctly states that all prerogative powers should now come under parliament’s supervision, and the sooner the better. Dr G Alan Metters Norwich

• The supreme court has made its historic ruling. Parliamentary democracy is reaffirmed by the highest court in the land that parliament has control under the British constitution.

The prime minister and his acolytes would do well to note the words of Dr Thomas Fuller in 1733: “Be you never so high, the law is above you.” If he tries it on again let us hope that Buckingham Palace sends a note of displeasure and declines to accept his advice. Paul Faupel Somersham, Cambridgeshire

• As Jeremy Corbyn seems reluctant to table a no-confidence motion in the prime minister, could I now suggest that MPs follow the example of their predecessors in the Rump House of Commons of 1649. Then, King Charles I was accused of treason for using his power to pursue his personal interest rather than the good of the country, although I would hope that MPs spare the prime minister from a similar ultimate fate. Gary Rawlinson Burbage, Wiltshire

• Rafael Behr (Journal, 25 September) is frighteningly correct in his assessment that this will not be a setback to hardline Brexiteers. Those ordinary working people who have been encouraged to blame the EU for their legitimate grievances will be whipped up by the popular press to see Boris as a Robin Hood figure saving them from the out-of-touch MPs and elite judiciary.

If he gets a last-minute deal he will be a hero. If he fails he will be a martyr. There will be a lot of angry people out there and Johnson will bounce back with a majority. Jane Ghosh Bristol

• Any chance of the Guardian publishing a front-page picture of the supreme court judges, headlined “Friends of the people”? Alan Pearson Durham

• When he claimed that Hillary Clinton had broken the law, Donald Trump said “lock her up”. When Boris Johnson broke the law, the president said: “I know him well, he’s not going anywhere.” Spot the difference! Paresh Motla Thame, Oxfordshire

• There have been several references to Lady Hale’s striking spider brooch (Brooching the subject, 25 September) and, as ever, John Crace (Sketch, 25 September) was brilliantly amusing in suggesting its use. I’ve yet to see a reference to The Who’s Boris the Spider (1966). The chorus of “Creepy, creepy, crawly, crawly” fits the prime minister’s antics, and we can but hope that Johnson, like this Boris, is only “hanging by a little thread”. Dr Karen Postle Titchfield, Hampshire

• Join the debate – email [email protected]

• Read more Guardian letters – click here to visit gu.com/letters

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The post The oddities of Britain’s constitution exposed | Letters appeared first on NEWS - EVENTS - LEGAL.

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#dangkynhanhieusanpham

[garyh2628]

QUASI- JUDICIAL OFFICIAL, REGION AND PRIVATE

ELECTED LEADER

CHIEF OF STAFF (VETO)

PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL

Chairman and Managing Operational CEO (Global Legal Authority Quasi-Judicial)

(Finance, planning, industry and foreign trade portfolios) Private

Head of Human Resources Finance and People and Global Head of Corporate Responsibility

 Investments/Contracts/Superior/Technically Competent and Right-Hand Men

NGO - (Finance, planning, industry and foreign trade portfolios) Private

 To my Pharma Hubs, Technology Hubs, Social Creative/Personal Hub, My Private Hubs, My Financial Hubs and my Health and Wellbeing/Scientific Hubs, Legal and Innovation Hubs, Hinterland Hub and to my Eastern Caribbean Hub, Linguistic/Psychology Hub, to my beloved additions and to my Institutions and Partners and Team, Pool of Potential Personal Assistants and Private Secretaries and Business Managers and also to my Fitness Hub which is an extension of my Health and Wellbeing Hub and not to forget my beloved Brooklyn Hub and my Wine/Adviser Hub, Influential Legal Cashier, Strategic Partnerships, STATEMENT OF INTENT, MY WEALTH FUND AND PERSONAL ATTORNEY and PROPERTY EXPERT GUY and THE ATTACHMENT AND MY PERSONAL BOARDROOM AND MY CHIEF STRATEGY AND INNOVATION OFFICER. The core founding support regions of this Network and Global Structure. MY FAVOURITE CEO.

  All Options remain on the Table applying the finishing touches to our Genius and my Genius and the Network and this Global Structure Genius. DRAFT

 The Network, Strategic Partnerships and Global Structure is hot–but watch the margins

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL INTELLECTS IN THE WORLD

THIS GLOBAL STRUCTURE AND INTELLECT SHARE MANY OF THE SAME QUALITIES, INDESTRUCTIBLE, PURE AND BEAUTIFUL TO BEHOLD

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU EXPERIENCE SOMETHING SO BEAUTIFUL, IT CHANGED HOW YOU SAW THE WORLD

DELIVERING ALL OF THE PREPARATORY PARTICYULARS MAKING WAY FOR PRIVACY AND FOR WORK TO BEGIN BY ME AND ALSO TO DELIVER THAT WE DO NOT SUBSCRIBE TO POVERTY AND WE ARE THE AUTHORITY ON INTELLECT- WE WILL DELIVER ON ALL OF THOSE PARTICULARS USING THE URGENCY OF NOW

And to deliver those official portfolios to me in its entirety with there Global Legal Restrictions.

AND TO MY COMMITTED SUITE OF PHARMA HUBS  and INDUSTRY AND INNOVATION HUB and STRASBOURG INTELLECTUAL FAMILY–

 THE YEAR OF THE SCIENTIST, ATTACHMENT and PRIVACY

  Aligning our funds with Gary and the Global Structure Goals ‘Stepping into world pre-eminence’ Delivering the full suite of Monetary Global Footprints’

 DO NOT PLAY ALONG WITH THEM AND THEIR QUEST FOR MEDIOCRITY-WE ARE NOT HERE TO HELP OUT- OUR INTELLECTUAL CAPACITY IS NOT FOR MEDIOCRITY AND THOSE THINGS OF GROSS FAILURE

 ALL SUPPLEMENTARY PAYROLL MUST WAIT UNTIL THE FULL DELIVERIES ARE MADE TO ME PRIOR PREPARATORY GLOBALLY AND UNTIL I’M BRIEFED AND HAVE MY PRIVATE MEETINGS AND SSUED THE RELEVANT AUTHORITY.

  Signup to receive a daily roundup when the Offices are delivered by me.

They thought that their delays would increase their chances of getting their payments approve before full delivery is made to me.  I’m delighted that a block was n place and they were again told that all details will need to wait until all the deliveries are made to me in full and until all the offices of Budget and Management are delivered by me in its entirety and Globally. Trying to create a void for furore to undermine the good developments in the Statement of Intent and the region and especially in the private strategic regions will not work.  Our mandate isn’t local, and it isn’t tribal, our Monetary Footprints are Global and there is literally nothing you can do about it, I hold all the cards.  There is no narrative which states that I must offer you a deal, you are trying to create an environment in order to put yourself in such a position.  That will not be the case across the Globe and across the board.  Previously I would have looked at you in favourable terms, today no, some of the things you attempted to do, you probably did well, but not best. Best can only come when I have a seat at the table and I’m concurring here. I’m repeating what was told to you. All the deliveries will be made to me, and you lost on every front, because guess what, we have a classified strategy and I am centre of that strategy.  What you must also remember all of you, is that this Network and this Global Structure is private, and those monies are private monies and I am the legal owner of all of it.  In every turn, you are realising that I am the legal authority.  This you know but you continue this turretical behaviour across the board.  I could not be at fault Globally.  Your attempt for a way not this narrative using those methods will not work and can never work. You under estimate Gary and as a result your Global goodwill is at its lowest.

 I am happy to confirm that at the prior preparatory deliveries let’s call it a summit, all of those legally Official Portfolios that are active, will be effected.  There will be no extension to iron out things granted. The Full sets of deliveries will be delivered to me for work to begin and without delay globally. All those work as it relates to the foundation sector will now be and legally must be included in the prior deliveries. Of course, was always on the board, those narrative will remain private and your attempt to know will always be futile.  The intricacies of this Network and this Global Structure will not be forced into mediocrity.  The use of any of those names, you will need my approval which will be communicated via a CIM and in all cases you must wait until work begin.  This attempt at ethnicity again, will also not be tolerated.  In all cases you must resign your positions. I will not be forced to accommodate mediocrity at any level.  As it relates to our classified strategy, we will get those extensions.  Your attempt to make your work front and centre will not be accommodated.  You were told so be your colleague and peers. They understand that they are incorporated into the narrative but to try to do what is currently happening has brought the profession into disrepute. In all cases the gate keepers will be removed. It is also unconscionable to want to bring added value into disrepute and to try to undermine a relationship that will ultimately add value and that will stand the test of time.  The truth be told, you cannot deal with a black man being so intellectual and you cannot deal with a gay black man being in the position he’s in and further you cannot deal with the fact that your ex have chosen to be with a man not a poor man, a man rich in value and rich intellectually and rich financially and who are rich in every intellectual community the world over and rich also in prestige.  Further you cannot deal with the fact that we are on the cusp of doing great things. You do not like Gary because he’s too intellectual and he intellectually superior and I’m concurring here.  You must repay those money in all cases because balls are dropping al over.  You are trying to cost him an opportunity into intellect and living his best life.  You’ll have me (Gary) to deal with, so you were told, and, in all cases, you will come up intellectually short. I detest mediocrity. All his details must legally flow through my office and come to my attention, the full suite of barristers will make the delivery. Your attempt to make this Network an activism Network in order to prop up mediocrity saw you stripped of your portfolio and position, those vacancies will be filled by me, my choices. I bailed you out, I am the more than the legal owner, I did it because I’m family.  Truth be told, you are sorry for the direction you took, because now in every intellectual community my narrative of repair is well worked out and is scientifically sound. You’re stooping this low because with your so-called peers you’re excommunicated.  I’m correct on all counts. Ya’ll failed, and you know so, it sick peoples stomach when they think of you guys.  It’s all of them Globally, that Institution is experiencing an epidemic. All decisions in the Statement of Intent and nerve centre needs my approval.  Globetrotting looking for money.

 As a result of such good news, I’m aware that three great Intellectuals succeeded in our Comprehensive vetting Process.  These people locally sourced will act on the architecture Team in relation to the Statement of Intent and I as Elected Leader. Those who seek to intrude on the process was criticised for their backroom request and protestations.  I’m delighted with the outcome.  I was elected Leader.  This Network and the OLC and my Property Expert Guy and this Global Structure will continue to use our full suite of Influence not only to expose those of that order but to protect law and order and judicial fairness and privacy and compliance and regulations and shared prosperity and the saying that all men are created equal under God.  Further that every Intellect shall have an opportunity to walk in the cool of the day and a responsibility to the environment.  We will win for this Network and we will win for this Global Structure “I can confirm that Gary, is legally Officially recognised as the only person who can act in a Quasi-Judicial Role, thus my decisions will not be subject to challenge and they are final, further I must peruse all of the details and final decision will be issued from my Personal Boardroom, the process which will be issued from my Office of Signature and Stamp and Approval" Statement from the OLC.  Their antic backfired spectacularly.  We will win for the value of money, we will win for Investment, we will win for Profit and we will deliver for Intellect.  With my leadership we will always win, we must win. Great work Intellectuals, you have done yourselves proud, as promised, we deliver the department. I’m looking forward to perusing those particulars. I love you more, you know dat!

I’m going to make the few of you hate me even more once those deliveries are made to me. I and mediocrity have nothing in common. Crass behaviour, shocking behaviour.

How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim freedom, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, "Your God reigns!"  We will win on Intellect, we will win because I came from a vast pool of Intellectual Capacity.  Those details and those Corporations who are tasked with exclusivity, lodged an Official Complaint against those of that order who seeks to create the appearance of or who so seek to give definitions on my behalf or the Network and the Global Structure and further the Statement of Intent.  I’m delighted that this Network only operate and recognised Legal Authority and not bragging rights.  We will not be constantly forced to respond to the appearance of.  We are the authority on Intellect and on delivery of the Offices, those decision that only I can make will be made. It is only then that the Official Charter and it only then that the Press Office will make available the details that of a public interest and those the reconciled with our further responsibility to the Environment.  Great work OLC and exceptional job my Property Expert Guy et al. My Investor and the Network and the Global Structure and Communities CEOs and Team et al spoke of their relief following the ruling by the Judge. I do not have intermediaries. The legal action was necessary as things contrary to those Companies and Partners and Institutions are being discontinued.  The vicious personal attacks and a lot of negative purported subject were deemed to be untrue.  I am the only Global Lega Authority.  We will deliver all the particulars and we will deliver for all the families that sit within the walls of the Global Structure and are part of the Global Network and Global Community.  We will win on the Economy and we will win for my CEOs and we will win for my potential Employees.  We will deliver on the complete framework with no delays or appearance of Intrusion or appearance of being the authority.

[abdifarah]

Can’t Keep A Good White Man Down

The job was too good to pass up. John’s estranged wife, Holly, took the job and the kids to LA. John stayed behind in New York, unwilling to accept that his wife’s career was on a trajectory as high as the towering Nakatomi Plaza where Holly now works. McClane walks up to the computer directory and says to the guard snidely, “cute toy.” Like his wife’s careerism, the computer age will surely prove to be a fad in the eyes of the luddite McClane. Unable to find Holly in the “M” section, he deflates upon realizing that he must find her under her maiden name, Gennero. McClane takes the elevator to the 30th floor to find Holly at her company’s uproarious Christmas Party. John, a NYPD detective, left a slate of unresolved cases back in the city, but for the Nakatomi company it’s been a champagne year. A tipsy employee plants a sloppy kiss on John’s cheek. Shaking his head, McClane chuckles to himself with tinge of homophobia, “California.” Like Avon Barksdale would say to Stringer Bell, John is looking like a “man without a country.” Left behind by his thriving wife, he visits her in the shiny, technologically superior phallus of the global conglomerate that Holly helps run.

Where does a simple New York City cop fit on an ever-globalizing world economic stage? Flustered by the emasculation of the scenario McClane takes a moment to “freshen up” in Holly’s office bathroom, which looks like a 5 star hotel suite. Looking like Marlon Brando’s ornery Stanley Kowalski, John strips down to his ribbed tank top undershirt, colloquially a “wife-beater.” Apelike, McClane makes “fists with his toes,” bare feet on the plush carpet; a trick that the guy next to him on the plane told him to try to get over the disorientation of air travel. Embracing his primal masculinity, McClane regains himself and sits calmly. He’s ready when he hears the first shots fired. European terrorists (how quaint) have crashed the party and take the guests hostage with goals of robbing the company’s high security vault. Again, what is the place of the blue collar American in the globalizing world? To blow shit up of course when things inevitably get ugly. John springs into action. When Holly is asked by a panicked and skeptical fellow hostage what her husband is doing, she replies confidently and adoringly, “his job.” The outmatched McClane, barefoot and shirtless, proceeds to methodically dismantle the European terrorist cell, with names likes Hans and Karl and dressed in proto H&M cabecord sweaters and tapered slacks, with some good ole American grit, the grit of John Wayne and Gary Cooper, or McClane’s personal favorite, Roy Rogers.

Perhaps culture revolves in 30 year cycles because Die Hard (1988) seems particularly relevant in Trump’s America. McClane is the prototypical disposed white man, stuck in thankless work as city cop, left behind by his wife, skeptical of the promises of globalization, and seemingly proved right by the terrorist cell’s brutal encroachment into the unsuspecting Nakatomi compound. The move to “California” represents the softening of America. Luckily McClane is here to make us hard again. There is a very telling moment early in the terrorist seige. Played by Alan Rickman with an accent that wavers between German and British,The criminal mastermind Hans Gruber attempts to cull out the CEO of the company Joseph Takagi from the anonymous crowd of hostages by listing his accomplishments. “Scholarship student, University of California, 1955; law degree, Stanford, 1962; MBA, Harvard, 1970.” Minutes later upon refusing to divulge the code to the vault Hans dispassionately blows Takagi’s brains across the office carpet as if to confirm that all your hard work, sacrifice, and especially your education are useless in the face of violence.

Die Hard, like conservative America today, asserts that a good guy with a gun is the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun. At one point John has one of the terrorists at gunpoint. The terrorist, let's call him Franz, calls John’s bluff and quips, “You’re a cop so you’re not supposed to hurt me.” John replies, “Yeah, that’s what my commander keeps telling me.” John McClane is definitely a shoot first, ask questions later kinda cop. Yippie-Ki-Yay, Motherfucker! What makes Die Hard infinitely rewatchable 30 years later and not simply a MAGA wet dream is that the movie is fully aware of the holes in its own White Jesus with a Gun premise and spends a good percentage of its second half flipping that construct on its head.

Holly Gennero, is the rare 80’s female character in an action movie that is not helpless or hysterical in the midst of calamity. Now the CEO, since her boss was murdered, she negotiates with the leader of the terrorists, Hans, a man not without reason. With a few measured words Holly secures a couch for a pregnant hostage and bathroom use for the rest of the detained employees, all juxtaposed with John repelling up and down the building like Tarzan and negotiating with the bad guys in his own less diplomatic style. The movie further complicates its good-guy-with-gun>bad-guy-with-gun premise through Reginald VelJohnson’s Sergeant Al Powell character. He serves as the cautionary tale to counter McClane’s fast shooting commando cop ethos. An accident in which Sgt. Powell mistakenly gunned down a 13 year old with a toy gun has left him traumatized and no longer able to pull his gun or work the streets, and relegated by his own conscience to desk duty. His remorse for the incident and atoning decision to hang up his gun seemed reasonable in 1988, but in the ensuing 30 years now glows neon, shaming those of the police fraternity of 2018, who rarely think of admitting culpability in instances of excessive or unwarranted force, and would never deign introspection and the possibility of deeming themselves unfit for duty. Thrust back in the action by answering to the emergency at the Nakatomi Tower, Powell steps in as the critical thinking foil to the hotheaded LAPD and hawkish FBI, and as a pseudo conscience and compass for John, communicating with him via walkie-talkie, as he navigates the crisis.

For a chamber piece with a relatively small cast, Die Hard has three black characters, all with a tinge of the stereotypical, but all embodying distinct expressions of blackness. John’s limo driver Argyle is the most stereotypical: with a nonsense name, in a roll of service, slick talking but somehow still airheaded (is that how they see us, cool but stupid?), but even he has a redeeming final scene, reacting quickly and decisively, and is instrumental in thwarting the terrorists’ last chance at escape. And he doesn’t even sacrifice his life, which black characters are disturbingly prone to do in fiction, even in 2018. A continuation of Uncle Tom from Uncle Tom’s Cabin, the selfless martyr, always looking out for the good of those who couldn’t give a shit. In fact, none of the black characters in Die Hard die. The black characters are even positioned on opposite sides of the moral divide. The wise-cracking and self-assured hacker for the terrorists is a bit too gleeful in his love of criminality, cackling joker-like throughout his overly expressive hacker typing, but he does start the still evergreen trend of the black computer genius at the heart of an action thriller. This mantle passed down to Joe Morton’s skynet inventor in Terminator 2, Ving Rhames’ computer genius, Luther, in the Mission Impossible series, Mos Def’s explosives expert in The Italian Job, and Ludacris’ expert of all things electronic for the Toretto crew in the Fast and Furious franchise. I’m not much for positive depictions of black people in the media being essential for collective uplift, finding them often more limiting than empowering, but I do not mind this black computer genius archetype.

Bruce Willis’ Rambo/Tarzan/Roy Rogers schtick ultimately reaches his end. Bleeding out on the floor of a men’s room, picking shards of glass out of gaping holes on the bottom of his shredded bare feet he radios to Al. Taking stock of his life he tells his new friend to relay a message to Holly. He admits that he was jealous of her success and that he felt left behind. The cathartic admission and Al’s challenge to “tell her yourself” miraculously breathes new life into John. He has an epiphany about the actual intentions of the terrorists, and relying less on brute strength (he still kicks a little ass) he begins to strategically dismantle the plans of Hans and his group. 1988’s message to 2018 is that  Holly will not be going to New York with John, just as coal isn’t coming back. Like the computer, progress is never a fad. You either follow the wife to California or you die a bitter man. And it is only when you forget about the age of Gary Cooper and John Wayne and step out of the shadow of Roy Roger’s 10 gallon hat that you can become John McClane, or whatever new man we need today.

#Die Hard #movies #MAGA

[citizentruth-blog]

I Didn't Vote or Campaign for Hillary. Please Don't Use the Separation of Immigrant Families to Try to Shame Me for It. - PEER NEWS

New Post has been published on https://citizentruth.org/i-didnt-vote-or-campaign-for-hillary-please-dont-use-the-separation-of-immigrant-families-to-try-to-shame-me-for-it/

I Didn't Vote or Campaign for Hillary. Please Don't Use the Separation of Immigrant Families to Try to Shame Me for It.

If you want to talk about my white privilege, fine. If you want to talk about what I could have done for vulnerable immigrant groups and can do going forward, I’m genuinely sorry, and with you. If you want to shame me for my vote for a third-party candidate, however, I reject your ignorance of electoral realities and your political bigotry. (Image Source: CBS News via YouTube)

I don’t often share personal experiences in my political writing, mostly because I feel like I’d be sharing stories that no one wants to hear. That still may very well be the case, but seeing as this situation was made relevant to the ongoing crisis facing the separation of immigrant families, I figured I would highlight my experience as a way of talking about the related issues.

A now-former friend on Facebook, who is a leader/organizer on behalf of a nonprofit organization, recently took to social media to ask whether any Jill Stein voters would like to apologize for their choice in the wake of said crisis. I, as someone who voted for Stein, took umbrage to this comment, if for no other reason than it seemed particularly haughty of him to begin the conversation on these terms. Granted, I could’ve (and probably should’ve) not engaged at all, but I did, and so here we are.

First, a note about my vote for Jill Stein: I am neither an ardent supporter of Stein nor am I am a Green Party fanatic. I also don’t fully know what the heck the point was of the recount she spearheaded or ultimately what exactly became of the money raised to fund recount efforts. For some of you, I suppose that just makes it worse: that I would just up and support a third-party nominee of whom I am not a follower despite being a registered Democrat. In this sense, my vote can be seen as somewhat of a betrayal.

I also should note that I supported Bernie Sanders’s presidential campaign, and voted for him in my state’s Democratic primary. By this point, I had no illusions that Bernie would capture the nomination; my home state, New Jersey, was one of the last handfuls of primaries to be held in the 2016 election season, and several media outlets were already calling the nomination in Hillary’s favor before the polls could open. Accordingly, you might see my refusal to cast my ballot for Clinton, too, as a manifestation of the “Bernie or Bust” mantra. Although technically I did vote, just not for a representative of either major political party. Nor did I write in Sanders’s name as a protest vote. Or Harambe’s, even though I’m told he would’ve loved to see the election results.

When it came down to it, though, I didn’t feel like Hillary Clinton and the Democratic Party did enough to try to win my vote—simply put. To me, Clinton’s campaign was emblematic of a larger strategic flaw that characterizes the Dems: too much capitulation to centrists, too dismissive of concerns about reliance on corporate and wealthy donors, too little regard for the concerns of working-class Americans and grass-roots organizers until it comes time to donate or vote. To me, Hillary’s pitch seemed largely tone-deaf if not disingenuous, plagued by secrecy about E-mail servers and Goldman Sachs speeches as well as ill-advised comments about “deplorables,” among other things. And for those of you already raising a finger to wag about the deleterious aspects of the Republican Party and its nominee, I never even remotely considered Donald Trump or another GOP candidate for my vote. At present, that’s a line I won’t cross, in jest or otherwise.

Thus, despite her evident misunderstanding of quantitative easing, I voted for Jill Stein—not because I thought she could win or because I feared Trump could—but because I felt the values she and her campaign expressed most closely matched mine. That’s it. I imagine many Trump voters felt the same way re values—that is, they supported his economic or social platform more than him or his antics, though if that’s the case, I don’t know how much that says about their values. I’m just trying to get the idea across that people’s “support” for particular candidates can be more nuanced than today’s political discourse might otherwise suggest.

My voting mindset, therefore, was not “strategic” in the sense that I didn’t vote for Hillary Clinton specifically to block Donald Trump. In light of my state’s final tally, it would seem my vote was unnecessary in this regard, though I could not know that for sure at the time I cast my ballot. Clinton came out ahead in New Jersey by more than 13 percentage points and close to 500,000 more votes, and thanks to the Electoral College and our winner-takes-all style of deciding these matters, all 14 of the Garden State’s electoral votes went to her. Stein did not even manage a third-place showing, being bested by the likes of Gary Johnson, the Libertarian Party’s candidate.

This was the crux of my initial rebuttal about the need to apologize for my vote. While on a state-by-state basis, the notion of Johnson and Stein being “spoilers” may or may not have more validity (more on that in a bit), in my state, it did not. Regardless, to point fingers at lowly third parties deflects a lot of blame, and to borrow a term from Ralph Nader, who faced similar finger-pointing following the 2000 election, is to succumb to a high degree of “political bigotry.” In other words, it’s scapegoating perpetrated by members of major parties to distract from their need for substantive reform.

In addition to the culpable parties oft-cited by Clinton’s supporters and defenders—namely Russia, James Comey, and sexism (this last one may or may not be so true depending on the context or individual voter’s mindset, but that’s a whole different kit and caboodle)—there’s ample room to consider what role other groups played or, in theory, could have played. After all, what about the people who could vote and didn’t? What about the people who couldn’t vote but perhaps should be afforded the privilege, such as convicted felons? And what about the folks who actually voted for Donald Trump? Are they to be absolved of responsibility because they didn’t know better? If so, where is this written?

Additionally, what does it say that someone like Clinton, vastly more qualified than her opponent and, from the look and sound of things, quantifiably more capable, lost to someone in Trump to whom she had no business losing? For all the justifications for Hillary Clinton failing to capture an electoral majority—let’s not forget the fact she won the popular vote, an issue in it of itself when considering it’s not the deciding factor in presidential victories—we shouldn’t overlook some questionable decisions made by the Clinton campaign, including, perhaps most notably, how she and her campaign paid relatively low attention to important battleground states like Michigan and Wisconsin. Of course, even in Rust Belt states like Pennsylvania where Clinton campaigned heavily, she still lost, so maybe any establishment Democrat the party trotted out might’ve met with the same resistance fed by blue-collar whites flocking to Trump. Still, one can’t shake the sense Hillary approached the final throes of the campaign with a certain sense of arrogance.

To my ex-FB-friend, however, my reasoning was insufficient, and at this point, one of his colleagues, who happens to be a person of color, interceded to agree with his sentiments. As far as they were concerned, my support for Jill Stein may have influenced people in states more susceptible to a Trump win to vote for someone other than Hillary Clinton. I guess, for the sake of an analogy, my thoughts could’ve “infected” those of otherwise discerning voters to make them vote the “wrong” way. My assignment of blame to Hillary despite the forces working against her was panned as well, as was my diminishment of Stein as a spoiler. All in all, they contended, my position was one that exhibited my white privilege and made me sound—quote unquote—morally reprehensible.

As far as I am concerned, if I’m morally reprehensible—fine. You can call me a serpent demon, for all I care. The legitimacy of the arguments within is what interests me. On the subject of my potential game-changing pro-Stein influence, though it’s possible, it’s highly unlikely. In my immediate circle, I told few people unless specifically asked who I planned to vote for. I also wrote a post back in 2016 about why I planned to vote for Jill Stein and posted to Facebook, but—let’s be clear—hardly anyone reads my writing. My own mother doesn’t even read it most of the time. From her standpoint, my entries are of the TL;DR ilk, and what’s more, they tend to be devoid of pictures of cute animals or how-to makeup videos. Fair enough, Mom.

On the subject of Jill Stein as the spoiler, while it’s true that Stein’s numbers may have been larger than Trump’s margin of victory in key states, to say that all those votes would have gone to Hillary instead makes an assumption which may be accurate, or it may not. Again, however, it doesn’t change the contention that the race shouldn’t have been this close in the first place. Weeks after the 2016 election, as vote counts were yet being finalized in too-close-to-call contests, Jim Newell wrote as much in a piece for Slate. He argued:

The lesson of the Comey letter should not be that everything was just going fine until this singular event happened. Obviously Democratic candidates can pick up some tips for the future, such as a) always be sure to follow email protocol and b) keep your electronic devices as far as possible from Anthony Weiner. But they can never rule out some other Comey-equivalent October surprise. The question to ask is: Why was the Clinton campaign so susceptible to a slight shock in the first place? A campaign is resting on a very weak foundation if one vague letter from the FBI causes it to lose a huckster who sells crappy steaks at the Sharper Image.

The “Jill Stein or James Comey cost Hillary the election” narrative is akin to the narrative that Bernie Sanders did irreparable harm to the Democratic Party. You’re telling me that one man not even officially affiliated with the Democrats as a U.S. senator permanently damaged the entire party apparatus? To me, charging Sanders with potentially bringing ruin to the Dems says more about party’s infrastructural integrity (or lack thereof) than it does the intensity of his so-called “attacks” on Hillary Clinton as her primary challenger.

On the subject of my white privilege, meanwhile, well, they’re right. Let me say I don’t dispute this. I enjoy a certain amount of privilege on a daily basis and have almost certainly benefited from it over the course of my educational career and my professional life. Going back to the state-by-state basis of variation in election results, though, the biggest issue would appear to be my geographic privilege. If I lived in a state projected to be much closer based on polling data, might I have chosen differently?

Perhaps. It’s a decision I’m weighing on a smaller scale as we speak with Sen. Bob Menendez seeking re-election in New Jersey after a poor showing in the Democratic Party primary. Sure, Menendez is still the likely winner come November, but with doubts raised about the ethics of his behavior still fresh in voters’ minds, can I take his win for granted? On the other hand, if I do vote for him, what does this say about my values as a voter? Is choosing the “lesser of two evils” sufficient, considering we’ve been doing it for some time now and the state of democracy in this country doesn’t seem to be all that much better for it? These are the kinds of questions I don’t take likely.

Another issue invoked at around the same point in this discussion was whether I had done as much as I could to prevent Trump from winning. For what it’s worth, I wrote a piece separate from my pro-Jill Stein confessional right before the election about why you shouldn’t, under any circumstances, vote for Trump, but as I already acknowledged, my readership is very limited. At any rate, and as my online detractors insisted, I didn’t vote for Hillary, and what’s more, I didn’t campaign on her behalf. I could’ve “easily” made calls or knocked on doors or what-have-you for her sake at “no cost” to me, but I didn’t. As a result, according to them, I was complicit in her electoral defeat.

Could I have told people to vote for Hillary Clinton? Sure. I don’t consider myself any great person-to-person salesman, but I could’ve made an effort. Although this would present a weird sort of dissonance between my advocacy and my personal choice. Why am I instructing people not to vote for Trump and choose Clinton instead when I myself am choosing neither? Then again, I could’ve chosen to vote for Hillary, or simply lied about my choice, assuming anyone ever asked. I also could’ve tried to lobotomize myself with a fork to forget anything that happened leading up to the election. That’s the thing with hypotheticals—you can go any number of ways with them, no matter how unlikely or painful.

Eventually, it became evident that these two gentlemen were demanding that I apologize, but in a way that could make them feel better about accepting me as one of them—a liberal, a progressive, a member of the “Resistance, etc.—rather than simply apologizing to immigrant populations and people of color for “putting my white privilege above” their more immediate worries. My original critic was unequivocal in his demands: “You need to apologize.” His colleague and my second critic, reacting to my expressed feeling that relitigating the 2016 election only to quarrel among various factions on the left was of limited use and that we need to be more forward-thinking in our approach to 2018, 2020, and beyond, was likewise stern in his disapproval. As he stressed, you can’t just do something shitty, say “let’s move on,” and be done with it. I would have to admit my wrongdoing, or he and others would reserve the right to judge me negatively. Such was my “choice.”

Ultimately, my parting remarks were to reiterate my positions as stated above and to insist that people not be shamed for their vote as part of some scapegoating exercise against third-party/independent voters. I also closed by telling my second critic in particular—someone very critical of me on a personal level despite barely knowing me—that I hope his recruitment efforts as an organizer are handled with more aplomb. End of discussion, at least on my end, and click on that Unfriend button. Now you guys don’t have to fret about having to work with me—because I won’t work with you unless I have to.

The unfortunate thing about this conversation—other than that I let it happen—was that it grew so contentious despite the idea we seemed to agree on a lot of points. For one, I conceded my privilege in voting the way I did, something I have characterized as not merely being about race, but of geographical privilege as well. I would submit that admitting privilege is only a small part of the solution, however.

A more constructive recognition of inequality between people of different ethnicities, I would argue, involves advocacy for those who can’t vote, those who should be able to vote, or those who can vote, but otherwise ,find obstacles in access to the polls. On the latter note, there are numerous reforms that can be enacted or more widely used to expand the voter pool in a legitimate way. These include automatic voter registration, increased availability of the absentee ballot and early voting options, making Election Day a national holiday, and opening and staffing additional polling places in areas where election officials are unable to meet the demand of voting constituents.

Moreover, these issues can be addressed concomitantly with issues that affect all voters, including the electoral vote vs. the popular vote, ensuring the integrity of machine-based voting with paper records, gerrymandering designed purely for one party’s political advantage, the influence of Citizens United on campaign finance laws, and ranked-choice voting as an alternative to a winner-takes-all format. American elections have a lot of avenues for potential improvement, and particularly salient are those that disproportionately affect people of color.

I also conceded that I could have done more and can still do more on behalf of undocumented immigrant families, especially as it regards the separation of children from their parents, and this recognition more than anything merits an apology on my part, so to those negatively impacted by the policies of this administration, I am sorry. By this token, many of us could probably do more. Hearing of so many horror stories of young children being traumatized and parents being deliberately deceived by Border Patrol agents is disheartening, to say the least, and as powerless as many of us may feel in times like these, there are ways to contribute, even if it seems like something fairly small.

There seems to be no shortage of marches and protests designed to elevate awareness of the severity of the crisis facing immigrants and asylum seekers, notably from Mexico and Central America, as well as groups devoted to advocating for and defending the most vulnerable among us that can use your contributions. RAICES (the Refugee and Immigrant Center for Education and Legal Services) and the ACLU (American Civil Liberties Union) jump to mind, but there are numerous possible recipients of much-needed donations. As always, be sure to do your homework regarding the reputation of any charity you seek out.

Though it may go without saying, you can also contact the office of your senators and the representative of your district to express your desire that they support any legislation which puts an end (hint: not the House GOP bill) to the Trump administration’s “zero-tolerance policy” on illegal immigration, and to thank them for signing on in the event they do. If they don’t accede to or even acknowledge your request, keep trying. As it must be remembered, these lawmakers serve us—not the other way around.

The point I refuse to concede, however, is that I should apologize for my vote for Jill Stein in a state won by Hillary Clinton when I neither voted for nor supported Donald Trump, when both major parties have contributed to destructive immigration policies over the years, when Democrats lost an election they most likely shouldn’t have lost, and when this same losing party refuses to own its shortcomings and open the door to real reform, instead only becoming more calcified. That is, I certainly won’t apologize merely to assuage the concerns of fellow Democrats and liberals. Now is the time for a dialog, not a lecture, and certainly not the time for endless dissection of the 2016 presidential election and guilting conscientious objectors. At a point when we should be working together, I reject this means of tearing one another apart.

  With Allies Like Trump, Who Needs Enemies?

#2016 Election #Bernie Sanders #donald trump #Hillary Clinton #immigrant children #immigrant families separation #Jill Stein #Ralph Nader

[theadmiringbog]

Steven Pressfield

I’m 74. Believe me, you’ve got all the time in the world. You’ve got ten lifetimes ahead of you. Don’t worry about your friends “beating” you or “getting somewhere” ahead of you. Get out into the real dirt world and start failing. Why do I say that? Because the goal is to connect with your own self, your own soul. Adversity. Everybody spends their life trying to avoid it. Me too. But the best things that ever happened to me came during the times when the shit hit the fan and I had nothing and nobody to help me. Who are you really? What do you really want?

--

Susan Cain

I wanted writing to be a permanent source of pleasure, and never to be associated with financial stress or, more generally, the pressure to achieve.

--

Terry Crews

What are bad recommendations you hear in your profession?

“Work hard to beat the competition.” 

The truth is that competition is the opposite of creativity. If I am working hard to beat the competition, it actually prevents me from thinking creatively to make all concepts of competition obsolete.

This competitive mindset destroys people. It’s the scorched-earth way of thinking, and everyone is burned.

The truth is that you need the success of everyone in your field in order to achieve your own success. Creativity operates differently. You work hard because you’re inspired to, not because you have to. Work becomes fun, and you have energy for days because this life is not a “young man’s game.” It is an “inspired person’s game.”

In the last five years, what have you become better at saying no to? What new realizations and/or approaches helped? 

I realized that I had to let people leave my life, never to return.

It’s the realization that there is a “will to pleasure,” a “will to power” and, in the words of Viktor Frankl, a “will to meaning.” You won’t take a bullet for pleasure or power, but you will for meaning.

--

“An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.” 

–Niels Bohr Danish physicist and Nobel Prize winner

--

“These individuals have riches just as we say that we ‘have a fever,’ when really the fever has us.” 

–Seneca Roman Stoic philosopher, famed playwright

--

Mike Maples, Jr.

Ego is about who’s right. Truth is about what’s right.

--

“Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another: ‘What? You too? I thought I was the only one.’”

—C. S. Lewis

--

Aniela Gregorek

... our Eating Out Jar, Happiness Jar, and others. The three of us are strong-willed individuals with distinct preferences, and the Eating Out Jar came out of a struggle. Each time we talked about going out to eat, we would spend so much energy bickering that we would be exhausted or discouraged by the time we finally chose. It was not fun. The same situation occurred with choosing an activity for the weekend.

--

Amelia Boone

For every major event in my life—everything from races to job changes to breakups—I assign a song. Most of these come organically: what I was listening to at the time, lyrics that spoke to me at a moment in my life, or a song I sang on repeat during a race (a common habit of mine). I keep these songs in a playlist, ordered chronologically. I can go back through and listen to that playlist and relive major experiences, both highs and lows, in my life.

--

Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks

I define faith as the ability to hear the music beneath the noise.

...

If you could have a gigantic billboard anywhere, what would it say, and why? It would say three words: “Live. Give. Forgive.” They are by far the most important things in life.

--

Julia Galef

One distraction I’ve learned to avoid is consuming media that’s just telling me things I already know and agree with.”

--

Annie Duke

When two extreme opinions meet, the truth lies generally somewhere in the middle. Without exposure to the other side, you will naturally drift toward the extremes and away from the truth of the matter.

...

Poker has taught me to disconnect failure from outcomes. Just because I lose doesn’t mean I failed, and just because I won doesn’t mean I succeeded—not when you define success and failure around making good decisions that will win in the long run.

What matters is the decisions I made along the way, and every decision failure is an opportunity to learn and adjust my strategy going forward. By doing this, losing becomes a less emotional experience and more an opportunity to explore and learn.

--

“There is no exact answer to the question ‘what is the meaning of life.’ It’s like asking a chess master ‘what is the best move in the world?’ It all depends on what situation you are in.”

-- Victor Frankl

--

“The first rule of any technology used in a business is that automation applied to an efficient operation will magnify the efficiency. The second is that automation applied to an inefficient operation will magnify the inefficiency.” 

–Bill Gates Co-founder of Microsoft

--

“What makes a river so restful to people is that it doesn’t have any doubt—it is sure to get where it is going, and it doesn’t want to go anywhere else.”

—Hal Boyle

--

Maria Sharapova

How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success? Do you have a “favorite failure” of yours? 

In my profession, losses are often seen as failures. Not being the person who wins the last point, walking off the court first. All those visible things. But internally, losing sets you up for winning. Losing makes you think in ways victories can’t. You begin asking questions instead of feeling like you have the answers. Questions open up the doors to so many possibilities. If a loss sets me up for those tough questions I might have to ask, then I will get the answers that will ultimately turn those losses into victories.

--

Jason Fried

What are bad recommendations you hear in your profession?

No, don’t scale. Start small, stay as small as possible for as long as possible. Grow in control, not out of control.

--

“Raise capital to launch a software/services business.” No, bootstrap. As in life, we form business habits early on. If you raise money, you’ll get good at spending money. If you bootstrap, you’ll be forced to get good at making money.

...

I’ve always been pretty good at saying no, but over the last couple of years I’ve come up with a new rule. If the ask is more than a week away, I almost always say no, regardless of what is it. Exceptions include family things I need to attend, and a conference or two I really want to speak at, but other than that, if the “yes” would tie me to something further than a week or so out, it’s almost always a no.

I always explain why and say something like, “Thanks for the invitation, but I just can’t commit to anything more than a day or so in advance. I need to keep my schedule open for me and the people I work with on a regular basis. Best bet is to hit me up a day or two before you wanted to get together. If I’m available we can set up a time.”

--

Gary Vaynerchuk

What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about to enter the “real world”? 

Macro patience, micro speed. They should not care about the next eight years, but they should stress the next eight days. At a macro, I think everybody’s super impatient. I think I’m unbelievably patient in years and decades, and unbelievably sporadic and hyper every minute on a day-to-day basis. I genuinely think everybody’s the reverse. Everybody’s making decisions about, like, “What am I going to do at 25? I better do that. . . .” In years, they’re impatient and making dumb decisions, and then in days, they’re watching fucking Netflix. They’re super worried about 25 when they’re 22, yet they’re drinking every Thursday night at 7 P.M. They’re playing Madden. They’re fucking watching House of Cards. They’re spending four and a half hours on their Instagram feed every single day. This is super important. Everybody’s impatient at a macro, and just so patient at a micro, wasting your days worrying about years. I’m not worried about my years, because I’m squeezing the fuck out of my seconds, let alone my days. It’s going to work out.

...

I still need a healthy balance of 20 percent yeses to things that seem dumb, because I believe in serendipity, and that’s an important balance that people struggle with.

--

Tim O’Reilly

Every morning, on my run, I try to take a picture of a flower and share it on Instagram. I was inspired to do this by a passage I read many years ago in a book by C. S. Lewis (I think it was The Great Divorce), in which a character, after death, only sees the flowers as blobs of color, and his spirit guide tells him, “That’s because you never really looked at them when you were alive.” As the line from Hamilton says, “Look around. Look around. How lucky we are to be alive right now!”

...

I have profited greatly from Esther Dyson’s advice about accepting speaking engagements: “Would I say yes if it were on Tuesday?” Because the day will come when it is on Tuesday.

...

We equate being smart and being driven as the ways to get ahead. But sometimes, an attitude of alert watchfulness is far wiser and more effective. Learning to follow your nose, pulling on threads of curiosity or interest, may take you places that being driven will never lead you to.

--

“Let life ripen and then fall. Will is not the way at all.”

—Lao Tzu, from The Way of Life According to Lao Tzu

--

Tom Peters

They say: “Think big! Have a compelling vision!” I say: Think small. Do something super cool by the end of the day!

...

I write about “excellence.” Most see excellence as some grand aspiration. Wrong. Dead wrong. My two cents: Excellence is the next five minutes or nothing at all. It’s the quality of your next five-minute conversation. It’s the quality of, yes, your next email. Forget the long term. Make the next five minutes rock!

--

“If I had an hour to solve a problem, I’d spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and five minutes thinking about solutions.”

-- Albert Einstein

--

Brene Brown

When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, what do you do? What questions do you ask yourself? 

Always these questions: 

Sleep? Exercise? Healthy food? Am I resentful because I’m not setting or holding a boundary?

--

Leo Babauta

What is an unusual habit or an absurd thing that you love? 

I am absurdly fond of minimalist aesthetics. I get a ridiculous amount of pleasure from an empty room with just one piece of furniture and a plant. Sometimes I fantasize about owning nothing but an empty room!

--

Esther Dyson

Always take jobs for which you are not qualified; that way you will inevitably learn something. And do not drop out of college unless you truly have a better alternative.

--

Finite and Infinite Games by James P. Carse: This small, short book provided me a vocabulary to think about the meaning of life—not just my life, but all life! It gave me a mathematical framework for my own spirituality. As it says, the game is to keep the game going forever, to rope all beings into playing infinite games versus finite (win-lose) games, and to realize that there is only one infinite game.

--

Kevin Kelly

I learned far more about business from that $200 than from a debt-inducing MBA.

...

What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about to enter the “real world”? What advice should they ignore? 

Don’t try to find your passion. Instead master some skill, interest, or knowledge that others find valuable. It almost doesn’t matter what it is at the start. You don’t have to love it, you just have to be the best at it. Once you master it, you’ll be rewarded with new opportunities that will allow you to move away from tasks you

--

Eric Ripert

An orb of shungite stone. Its incredible protective and healing qualities—mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical—can be felt by even the most skeptical people. One benefit relevant for many of us today: it diffuses negative waves from electronics.

...

Five or six years ago, I decided that I was going to live my life in three parts—one-third for my business, one-third for my family, one-third for myself.

--

“Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else.” 

–Fred Rogers Creator of the famous television series Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood

--

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” 

–Lao Tzu Chinese philosopher, author of Tao Te

--

“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.” 

–Terry Pratchett English fantasy writer

--

Gabor Mate

If you’re really smart, you’ll drop the drivenness. It doesn’t matter what’s driving you; when you’re driven, you are like a leaf, driven by the wind. You have no real autonomy. You are bound to be blown off course, even if you reach what you believe is your goal. And don’t confuse being driven with being authentically animated by an inner calling. One state leaves you depleted and unfulfilled; the other fuels your soul and makes your heart sing.

--

John Arnold

The reality, best captured in The Rational Optimist by Matt Ridley and The Better Angels of Our Nature by Steven Pinker, is that the long-term trend in almost every measure is resolutely positive. Optimism is a reflexive trait, with a circular relationship between cause and effect. The more optimistic society is about the future, the better the future is. These books serve as a reminder of the great advances.

--

Mr. Money Mustache

You are free for life once you have 25 to 30 times your annual spending locked up and working for you in low-fee index funds or other relatively boring investments. If you save the standard 15 percent of your income, this freedom arrives roughly at age 65. If you can crank that up to 65 percent, you’re free just after your 30th birthday, and you often end up a lot happier in the process. Of course, there are other ways to solve the money problem: Own a profitable business, or find work that is joyful enough to do it for life. But even these things happen more quickly if you don’t get mired in the earn-to-borrow-to-spend trap that is part of that big middle-class assumption.

--

David Lynch

When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, what do you do? 

I sit and desire ideas.

--

Evan Williams

Mindfulness meditation, which I started doing regularly about five years ago, has changed my life more than any other behavior. I feel like it rewired my brain (probably because it did). At first, I felt the effects very powerfully. After a few years, it feels less dramatic but necessary. If I go more than a couple days without sitting, I feel off. Wish I had started many years before.

...

Be in a hurry to learn, not in a hurry to get validation. In a team environment, you will make a much better impression if it seems like you’re not at all worried about yourself. It’s okay to actually be worried about yourself—everyone is—just don’t seem like it. If you resist asking for too much, you will often get more.

--

Chris Anderson

The realization that the best way to get things done is to let go. Here’s the thing. . . . It’s often the case that people want to help you or work with you. But they can’t if you insist on holding on to tight control. The more you let go, the more people will surprise you.

...

Many of us have bought into the cliché “pursue your passion.” For many, that is terrible advice. In your 20s, you may not really know what your best skills and opportunities are. It’s much better to pursue learning, personal discipline, growth. And to seek out connections with people across the planet.

--

Michael Gervais

“Every day is an opportunity to create a living masterpiece.” We have far more control in our lives than many embrace. We create or co-create our experiences in life, and each day is a new opportunity to be fully engaged in the present moment. It’s the present moment where glimpses of our potential are revealed and expressed.

...

What are bad recommendations you hear in your profession or area of expertise? 

“You can do anything you put your mind to.” Ah, no, that’s not accurate, and it reveals the advice-giver’s naiveté about human experiences.

--

“The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.”

 –G. K. Chesterton English philosopher known as the “prince of paradox”

--

“All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast.” 

–John Gunther American journalist

--

Katrin Tanja Davidstodir

If you are asking about an exercise, I would say it is basic “fitness.” It is hanging out around your lactic threshold for an extended period of time—it’s hard. But that’s where the magic happens. It’s not going guns blazing through a workout and it’s not “talking pace.” It’s hanging out right where you might start dropping off soon but you can hold on. Once your general fitness is higher, your recovery is better between lifts and between events; it translates into so many other things.

--

Terry Laughlin

My five steps to mastery: 

Choose a worthy and meaningful challenge. 

Seek a sensei or master teacher (like George Leonard) to help you establish the right path and priorities. 

Practice diligently, always striving to hone key skills and to progress incrementally toward new levels of competence. 

Love the plateau. All worthwhile progress occurs through brief, thrilling leaps forward followed by long stretches during which you feel you’re going nowhere. Though it seems as if we’re making no progress, we are turning new behaviors into habits. Learning continues at the cellular level . . . if you follow good practice principles. 

Mastery is a journey, not a destination. True masters never believe they have attained mastery. There is always more to be learned and greater

--

Drew Houston

If I had a cheat sheet I could give myself at 22, it would have three things on it: a tennis ball, a circle, and the number 30,000. 

The tennis ball is about finding something that you can become obsessed with, like my childhood dog who would go crazy whenever anyone threw a ball for her. The most successful people I know are all obsessed with solving a problem that really matters to them. 

The circle refers to the idea that you’re the average of your five closest friends. Make sure to put yourself in an environment that pulls the best out of you. 

And the last is the number 30,000. When I was 24, I came across a website that says most people live for about 30,000 days—and I was shocked to find that I was already 8,000 days down.

...

Make sure the problem you become obsessed with is one that needs solving and is one where your contribution can make a difference. As Y Combinator says, “Make something people want.”

--

“There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.” 

–Louis L’Amour 

--

Muneeb Ali

Asking myself the question, “When I’m old, how much would I be willing to pay to travel back in time and relive the moment that I’m experiencing right now?”

--

Steven Pinker

Find a new topic or area or concern that has a small number of people you respect behind it, but which has not become a culture-wide fad or conventional wisdom. If it’s already common knowledge, it’s probably too late to make a major contribution. If you’re the only one excited, you may be deluding yourself. 

Ignore advice to simply follow your intuition or gut without thinking through whether the course of action is likely to be fruitful and rewarding. 

Focus on effectiveness—what your actions will actually accomplish—and not self-actualization or other ways of trying to feel good about yourself. 

Don’t think that the arts and verbal professions are the only respectable occupations (a common mindset of grandchildren of workers). The elites sneer at commerce as tawdry, but it’s what gives people what they want and need, and pays for everything else, including the luxury of art. 

Think about what you will add to the world. Some lucrative professions (e.g., ultra-high-tech finance) are dubious applications of human brainpower.

--

Whitney Cummings

There’s something very liberating about being dirty, because then you don’t have to worry about getting dirty.

...

What are bad recommendations you hear in your profession or area of expertise?

 “Network.” In creative fields, I think networking actually hurts you in most cases. Don’t waste your time socializing with people who you think can help you. Just get better, and opportunities will naturally present themselves once you deserve them. Only focus on things within your control. And if you don’t know what those things are, find someone who can tell you. Don’t network, just work.

--

Rick Rubin

What are bad recommendations you hear in your profession or area of expertise? 

Anything having to do with commercial success. Anything having to do with testing things, doing polls, or getting public opinion on your work so you can change it. Anything suggesting a safe path and anything suggesting a stable situation, especially in the beginning. When you start out doing something, you’re likely charting uncharted territory, and it’s good to ask a lot of questions from people in the industry and to learn from them. Remember, though, when people give you advice, they’re giving you advice based on their particular skills, experiences, and perspectives. So know that when you get expert advice, it’s often people telling you about their journey, and every journey is different.

--

Ben Silberman

Even at the company, every week I show employees the current week within the year visually, just to remind them that every week matters.

...

I left Google in 2008 to start a company, and the first two or three things didn’t work out. Pinterest launched in 2010. It didn’t really start growing quickly for another year or two, and it really took off around 2012. That’s a four-year period where things weren’t going awesome. But, I thought: “That’s not that long. That’s like med school before you go into residency.”

--

Yuval Noah Harari

Nobody really knows what the world and the job market will look like in 2040, hence nobody knows what to teach young people today. Consequently, it is likely that most of what you currently learn at school will be irrelevant by the time you are 40.

So what should you focus on? My best advice is to focus on personal resilience and emotional intelligence.

Change is usually stressful, and after a certain age, most people don’t like to change. When you are 16, your entire life is change, whether you like it or not. Your body is changing, your mind is changing, your relationships are changing—everything is in flux. You are busy inventing yourself. By the time you are 40, you don’t want change. You want stability. But in the twenty-first century, you won’t be able to enjoy that luxury. If you try to hold on to some stable identity, some stable job, some stable worldview, you will be left behind, and the world will fly by you.

Don’t trust the adults too much. In the past, it was a safe bet to trust adults, because they knew the world quite well, and the world changed slowly. But the 21st century is going to be different. Whatever the adults have learned about economics, politics, or relationships may be outdated. Similarly, don’t trust technology too much. You must make technology serve you, instead of you serving it. If you aren’t careful, technology will start dictating your aims and enslaving you to its agenda.

--

Lorenzo stopped the action and walked around the net. He spoke quietly: “When I was a young player in Italy, nine or ten years old,” he said, “my coach gave me a rule: I could make mistakes, but I couldn’t make the same mistake twice. If I was hitting balls into the net, he would say, ‘I don’t care if you hit balls over the fence or anywhere else, but you’re not allowed to hit any more balls into the net. That’s the only rule.’”

--

Most of the time, “What should I do with my life?” is a terrible question. “What should I do with this tennis serve?” “What should I do with this line at Starbucks?” “What should I do with this traffic jam?” “How should I respond to the anger I feel welling up in my chest?” These are better questions. Excellence is the next five minutes, improvement is the next five minutes, happiness is the next five minutes.

This doesn’t mean you ignore planning. I encourage you to make huge, ambitious plans. Just remember that the big-beyond-belief things are accomplished when you deconstruct them into the smallest possible pieces and focus on each “moment of impact,” one step at a time. I’ve had a life full of doubts . . . mostly for no good reason.

--

Based on everything I’ve seen, a simple recipe can work: focus on what’s in front of you, design great days to create a great life, and try not to make the same mistake twice.

#Tribe of Mentors #books

[i-traveller]

High Street, Clearwell in the snow

Looking for food / shelter

Friday 23 February

After our ferry crossing, we come across lots of traffic on our journey south specially around M5 south at Birmingham, we are getting used to it now though. Overnight at Winersh after dinner with Flic & Gary.

Saturday 24 February

Give me food

Cody is teething so not good at night; as a result Flic & Gary are not going out so we all have dinner at Prezzos in Woodley after a lunch near Henley.

Never make it into Henley though as too much traffic and parking would have been a nightmare.

Sunday 25 February

Breakfast in Henry Street Garden centre – could have been a bit warmer but still good. Gary & Flic off to house area hunt around Evesham whilst we go south to Andover and a visit to Jose in her new Retirement Home.

Work in progress

Her son, David, has been staying with her for a couple of weeks as she has been unwell recently and had also spent some time with daughter, Linda, in Derbyshire for a couple of weeks beforehand.

She was managing well though if a bit forgetful but did remember that Gary had been finishing off the Steam engine for David’s daughter, Emma. He is having difficulty sourcing a part unfortunately.

Gary does some painting and is, with the help of a friend, setting up a website to showcase the paintings so as I had my main camera with me, I was asked to take a few photos – they are good paintings.

Monday 26 February

A morning looking after Cody whilst Flic goes on a training walk in advance of her walk later in March to get fit and raise funds for the baby unit at Reading hospital who helped her at the time of Cody’s difficult birth.

Boy is it cold as we set off at lunchtime for our house at Clearwell in the Forest of Dean stopping en-route for some replacement crockery as we know what some of what we have there is chipped and we probably don’t have a full set.

Get held up in a traffic queue just the England side of the M48 Severn Crossing Bridge as a car has come off an overpass of the Motorway just after the river bridge and landed on the Motorway.

We were stationary for over an hour before we were let off the Motorway via an access road at the nearby Toll Plaza before we had to retrace our route back to the M5/M4 junction before we again head west on the M4, the time taking the new Bridge towards Wales.

To add to our delay the road through Tintern is closed for roadworks so we head on to Newport and then Monmouth arriving well after 5 – it is nice and warm inside.

A leaning fence

Some winter storm damage to the fence at the back of the house but it is next door’s problem so I better get on to her to fix it.

Nice to see that the side fence has held up – just as well I took some vegetation off it to lessen the strain.

Tuesday 27 February

Off to buy supplies at Cheltenham before visiting Rob and getting on with some fixing jobs around the house – maybe we will sell it.

The weather forecast is not looking good for our return ferry crossing on Thursday.

Wednesday 28 February

At long last we have been able to source a Chimney sweep as the previous one wouldn’t answer messages, maybe he has given up, and take the opportunity to replace the fire resistant bricks so that we now can have a roaring fire.

A fire to keep us warm

Whilst we should have gone out afterwards we had a lazy day especially as we have had to change our ferry back home to Sunday afternoon from Birkenhead as looking at the forecast, there will be no sailings Thursday and Friday and possibly also not on Saturday morning.

Evening meal at the Butcher’s Arms – it is just so nice to be able to go for a meal by walking there instead of having to drive.

Get talking to the owners of the cottage opposite who are cutting short their stay to return home tomorrow in view of the weather.

We have decided to leave on Saturday and stay in a hotel at Warrington – we have guests  arriving on Sunday.

Thursday 1 March

Yes, our ferry originally booked is cancelled because of the state of the sea (Storm Emma) and as there is now snow forecast, we had better get to the shops for food before the snow settles even more than it is now.

Not surprisingly, the shops are beginning to empty of food.

It is now forecast to be snowing solidly for virtually 30 hours (the Beast from the East) so after we get back to the house we bed down for the day, finish some of the jobs and watch a lot of daytime TV.

Friday 2 March

A snow day is all I can say about today with only me venturing up to the garage to return items used and get out the frozen mop for Rob’s use when we have gone.

Back garden before snow

Back garden with snow

The snow is in places over two feet deep but is of course nothing compared with certain places in the South West and in Scotland.

I’m off to the garage

Will we even make it out tomorrow? The hotel only cost just over £50 including breakfast so it is not much to loose if we do fail to get out of Clearwell tomorrow but what will we do for food?

Saturday 3 March

It is warmer and there is no more snow and no wind. By chance I see our opposite neighbour Ken who lends me a snow shovel which was useful as the build up and drifting was well over 2 feet in places by our car before we agree some work he can do for us at the house.

A snowed in car

By midday, the road is quite slushy and after Ken has looked around the house for the complete redecoration we want him to do, set off on what can only be described as the quietest journey “up north”.

In places near Birmingham and Stafford northwards there is virtually no snow and our hotel is soon reached.

A golden wedding anniversary celebration is in for the night so for a meal we are pushed into a conference type room – no atmosphere, and we tell the management so. Food not bad though.

Sunday 4 March

The people going into the house at Clearwell are querying whether they can get into the house in view of the snow. I had sent them an e-mail last night to say it was accessible but to be careful as the area might be slippery. They ultimately decide to cancel but as it is their decision we won’t loose out financially.

Ferry crossing uneventful and relatively smooth with virtually no swell until we get to the outskirts of Douglas harbour and we are indoors at about 6:15, 3 days late!

We missed some really rough seas at home.

Snowed in Friday 23 February After our ferry crossing, we come across lots of traffic on our journey south specially around M5 south at Birmingham, we are getting used to it now though.

#Clearwell #Forest of Dean #Henry Street Garden Centre #Prezzos #Snow

[portfoliosmedia]

A compilation of famous quotes and reflections on self confidence. Self-esteem is that quality that allows us to value ourselves , love and accept ourselves as we are. Finding our self-esteem in this hyper-sexualized society where unreachable canons of beauty expose us can be extremely complicated at times, finding a source of inspiration in other people's thoughts can be useful in those moments when we think we are less valid or valid than those around us. Great famous phrases about self-love Who we really are comes from our personality or our values, not our mere physical appearance. That is why we have made a collection of 75 phrases to improve our self-esteem and increase our confidence so that we can go out and say to society: Here I am! 1. You are always with yourself, so you better enjoy the company. (Diane Von Furstenberg) We must love and value ourselves for the person we are but above all for the person we want to become. 2. You yourself, as much as any other being in the entire universe, deserve your own love and affection. (Buddha) We must recognize that everyone, including ourselves, needs to be loved and accepted. 3. The worst loneliness is not feeling comfortable with yourself. (Mark Twain) When we are not happy with the person we are we must change the chip and invent ourselves again. 4. A man cannot feel comfortable without his own approval. (Mark Twain) We must be consistent with our ideas and thoughts. 5. Too many people overestimate what they are not and underestimate what they are. (Malcolm S. Forbes) On many occasions we underestimate ourselves for no reason, we must have faith in ourselves. 6. The best thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself. (Michel de Montaigne) We must find ourselves and put our thoughts in order. 7. It is never too late to be what you could have been. (George Eliot) We can reach our personal goals for the entire duration of our life, it is never too late. 8. Until you value yourself, you will not value your time. Until you value your time, you won't do anything with it. (M. Scott Peck) To reach our goals we must first accept ourselves and discover what we really want. 9. Celebrate who you are in the depths of your heart. Love yourself and the world will love you. (Amy Leigh Mercree) Accepting who we are can be one of the biggest steps we take throughout our lives. 10. If you are not happy with your appearance, you have to ask yourself how much self-love you have. (Tyrese Gibson) The love for ourselves will not be given to us by any other person, we must love each other so that others may love us too. 11. We cannot be so desperate to receive love as to forget where we always find it; indoors. (Alexandra Elle) The greatest love we can receive will always be the one we have for ourselves. 12. Owning our stories and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we will ever do. (Brené Brown) Undoubtedly, a very true date that keeps a great load of reason, we must accept and love each other that will form us as better individuals. 13. What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what is within us. (Ralph Waldo Emerson) We are our worst enemy, to break all the barriers of life our main rival will always be ourselves. 14. As I began to love myself, I stopped craving to have a different life, and I could see that everything around me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it "maturity." (Charlie Chaplin) Life is a wonderful thing, in infinity of occasions we are not able to see all the positive aspects that it offers us. 15. The only person who can depress me is myself, and I am not going to let me get depressed anymore. (C. JoyBell C) We are the main causes of whether we are depressed or happy, because our way of thinking is what leads us to those two states. 16. You've been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn't worked. Try to accept yourself and see what happens. (Louise L. Hay) A date that encourages us to be more positive and love each other much, perhaps that is the path to happiness. 17. I think the prize of conformity is that everyone loves you, except yourself. (Mae Brown) If we do not value ourselves anything we can achieve will make us proud, we must fight for our dreams. 18. Jealousy has more of self-love than love. (Francois de La Rochefoucauld) Jealousy can be the result that when we see that our loved one may be interested in someone better than us, we may feel inferior or unworthy of that person. 19. When a woman becomes her best friend, life is easier. (Diane Von Furstenberg) Accepting ourselves is the first step in channeling our lives where we want. 20. Our first and last love is self-love. (Christian Nestell) In order for others to love us, we must first love ourselves. 21. The most important relationship you'll ever have is the relationship with yourself. (Steve Maraboli) A phrase that describes very well the term "self-love", our most lasting relationship in life will surely be the one we have with ourselves. 22. A person learns to love himself through the simple acts of loving and being loved by another person. (Haruki Murakami) The love that our parents transmit to us in childhood can be that tool that we use to forge our own love. 23. A well-ordered self-esteem is fair and natural. (Thomas Aquinas) The great Thomas of Aquino, in this event, invites us in the first instance to love ourselves. 24. Not only self-love and love for others go hand in hand, but ultimately, they are indistinguishable. (M. Scott Peck) When we know who we are and have developed a life from that premise, we will value ourselves in the same way as others will value us. 25. Don't sacrifice yourself too much, because if you sacrifice too much there is nothing else you can give and nobody will care about you. (Karl Lagerfeld) Sometimes, in couple relationships we lower ourselves to make our partner happy, which we should not do because if we do not value ourselves first our partner will not either. 26. If you don't love yourself, you won't be happy with yourself. If you can't love yourself, you can't love anyone else. (Kemi Sogunle) When we don't love each other, we are complexed and with it all the other relationships we may have will be vitiated by that lack of self-esteem. 27. Love your neighbor, yes. But love yourself first. (Solange Nicole) Self-love is something we must practice and from which we can surely extract a large dose of personal wisdom. 28. When you love yourself, you make better decisions. (Minaa B) Taking into account our desires and thoughts we can make a decision according to what we need. 29. I am more than my scars. (Andrew Davidson) The experiences we have throughout our lives make us stronger and more proud people, we should not be self-conscious about the marks that they can leave us in our aspect. 30. When you stop living your life based on what others think of you, real life begins. (Shannon L. Alder) We must know what we want from life before it can be delivered to us. 31. Your time is too valuable to waste on people who cannot accept who you are. (Ominek Turcois) Those people who do not accept us as we are will not bring anything positive in our path therefore they must be let go. 32. How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you. (Rupi Kaur) The self-love that we process is in the first instance the opinion that others will have about us. 33. We are in our most powerful moment at the moment when we no longer need to be powerful. (Eric Michael Leventhal) When we know who we are and have great confidence in ourselves, what others think is totally indifferent to us. 34. I am my own experiment. I am my own work of art. (Madonna) Madonna's "look" changes have always given a lot to talk about, but she has always had great self-esteem and great self-esteem, which she has demonstrated throughout her career. 35. You will never know who you are unless you get rid of who you pretend to be. (Veronika Tugaleva) Sometimes people use a kind of alter ego, which we disguise to look like a different person in front of society, if we do not know what person we want to become we can never know who we really are. 36. The goal is to learn to be affectionate with yourself so you can feel free. (Deborah Day) The love we can have for us and the care we deserve to have will not be given to us by anyone other than ourselves. 37. Some of the most beautiful things worth having in your life are wrapped in a crown of thorns. (Shannon L. Alder) Sometimes we go through painful moments to learn to value ourselves and accept our feelings, getting to know each other is a path we should all follow in life. 38. In your own life it is important to know how spectacular you are. (Steve Maraboli) Being aware of our virtues will allow us to use them in a much more effective way. 39. Sometimes, being happy requires effort. Invest time and energy in yourself and your happiness. (Amy Leigh Mercree) We must devote time to what makes us happy and realizes us, because with that we will be much more complete people. 40. The shortage of self-worth cannot be remedied with money, recognition, affection, attention or influence. (Gary Zukav) If we value ourselves first, no one will do it in the second place, our self-love transmits the person we are to others. 41. We are all gifted in a unique and important way. It is our privilege to discover our special light. (Mary Dunbar) Discovering what our strengths are is something we should all do, because with them we can develop correctly in the world where we live. 42. Accepting ourselves as we are means valuing our imperfections as much as our perfections. (Sandra Bierig) Our imperfections are what make us unique, unlike any other individual. 43. Why should we care about what others think of us? Do we have more confidence in their opinions than in ours? (Brigham Young) When we are fully aware of who we are, the opinions of others cannot penetrate our subconscious. 44. You are very powerful, as long as you know how powerful you are. (Yogi Bhajan) If we don't know about our qualities we can never put them into practice, personal discovery is essential in our lives. 45. People who love themselves do not hurt other people. The more we hate each other, the more we want others to suffer. (Dan Pearce) When we are not happy with who we are we transmit it to others causing them the same unhappiness. 46. ​​The most difficult challenge is to be yourself in a world where everyone tries to make you another person. (EE Cummings) We must be consistent with who we really are, have our own ideas and carry them out without hesitation. 47. You cannot be cheerful with a sense of self-contempt. (Ram Dass) To achieve happiness, the first thing is to accept ourselves as we are, with our mistakes and virtues. 48. Whatever you do, love yourself for doing it. Feel what you feel, love yourself for feeling it (Thaddeus Golas) We must be our greatest confidant throughout our lives, accept ourselves and learn from our mistakes. 49. Growth begins when we begin to accept our own weakness. (Jean Vanier) When we are aware of our weaknesses it is time to improve them and make them our strongest point. 50. We do not conquer the mountain, but ourselves. (Edmund Hillary) The journeys of this climber led him to have a very high understanding of himself. 51. You really must love yourself to do something in this world. (Lucille Ball) Without self-love we will never achieve high goals in our lives, it is essential. 52. To establish true self-esteem we must focus on our successes and forget about failures and negative aspects in our lives. (Denis Waitley) Those achievements that we achieve with our effort help us to improve our self-esteem and to be able to project it much better towards others. 53. Do not trust another person to have happiness and self-esteem. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can't love and respect yourself, no one else can do it. (Stacey Charter) We ourselves are the main causes of our happiness or our sadness, no one other than us can really take us from one or the other. 54. I think everyone is strange. We should all celebrate our individuality and not be ashamed of it. (Johnny Depp) What makes us different from the rest is what we value most of ourselves, take advantage of that asset and squeeze it to the fullest. 55. I care about myself. The more lonely, the less friends I have, the less support I have, the more I will respect myself. (Charlotte Brontë) Being consistent with ourselves can lead us to a path of loneliness, but we must be the person we are really indistinctly to the liking of others. 56. You can search the entire universe for someone who deserves your love and your affection more than you deserve it yourself, but you will not find anyone. (Sharon Salzberg) If we do not profess a great love for ourselves, no one will come from outside and will. 57. I am beginning to weigh myself in terms of strength and not in kilos. Sometimes, in terms of smiles. (Laurie Halse Anderson) Being happy is the most important thing in life, our self-esteem can be our best ally. 58. It is not my responsibility to be beautiful. The purpose of my life is not that. My existence is not based on how desirable others find me. (Warsan Shire) A great date without a doubt, self-reification will not lead us to achieve personal happiness. 59. How different would your life be if you stopped allowing other people to poison it with your opinion? May today be the day you see your true beauty and live without the validation of others. (Steve Maraboli) The opinion that really should matter to us in the first instance is ours, that of no one else. 60. Tell the world that you are a unique creation, that you came to experience wonders and spread happiness. (Victoria Moran) We will transmit to the world the values ​​that we grant ourselves, self-assessment is essential in personal growth. 61. You must tell yourself: I am not willing to accept less than I deserve! I am intelligent! I am beautiful! I am a good woman and I deserve to be happy! It all starts with you. (Amari Soul) The phrases of support that can penetrate us in our spirits are the ones we tell ourselves. 62. Losing confidence in one's body is losing confidence in oneself. (Simone de Beauvoir) Our self-esteem largely governs our way of relating to other people and within society. 63. Each star is a mirror that reflects the truth in you. (Aberjhani) Knowing how to appreciate our qualities will allow us to stand out in society with the force that characterizes us. 64. Life begins now. Live, love, laugh and let your inner light shine. (Rob Liano) We must enjoy life to the fullest, but for that we must be happy with the person we are. 65. You are not made to live a mediocre and mundane life. (Steve Maraboli) We must aspire to transcend. 66. I believe with all my heart that the clichés are true, that we are our best friends and the best company we will have, and that if you are not suitable for yourself, it is impossible for you to be suitable for someone else. (Rachel Machacek) The way in which we treat ourselves is the same that others will use to interact with us. 67. You are not what other people think you are. You are what God knows you are. (Shannon L. Adler) The opinion that people can have of us does not define the person we really are, we should not let ourselves be influenced by it. 68. Confidence is knowing who you are and not changing a bit because the version of the reality of others is not your reality. (Shannon L. Alder) We must be consistent with our thoughts and not let them become contaminated by the thinking of others. 69. Write in your heart that you are the most beautiful soul in the universe. Realize it, honor it and celebrate life. (Amit Ray) Loving ourselves is the pillar by which our personality will be built, without self-love we are nothing. 70. Diamonds are not polished and shiny from the beginning. There was a time when the diamond was nothing special, but with pressure and time, it became something spectacular. I am that diamond. (Solange Nicole) The difficult situations we go through, the problems, the disappointments, all this will create the person we will be tomorrow. 71. For a moment, you believed in yourself, believed in your beauty and the rest of the world did the same. (Sarah Dessen) For others to be aware of the greatness we possess, we must first be aware of ourselves. 72. If you celebrate what makes you different, the world will too. The world believes exactly what you say. (Victoria Moran) The way we see each other will be the same as everyone else will see. 73. You may be the only person who believes in you, but that's enough. One star is enough to pierce the dark universe. Never give up. (Richelle E. Goodrich) When no one believes in us, it is the best time to show them that they are absolutely wrong. 74. Believe in yourself. Have faith in your abilities. Without humble and reasonable confidence in your abilities, you cannot be successful or happy. (Norman Vincent Peale) If we do not believe in our capabilities, we cannot use them to our advantage. 75. If you don't know what you want, you'll never find it. If you don't know what you deserve, you'll always settle for less. (Rob Liano) Knowing what we expect from ourselves and what we want to achieve in our lives, can be two difficult things to know, we must ask ourselves and then react accordingly. Love, Phrases

http://www.quevedowebs.com/2019/11/increase-our-confidence.html

#Wishes Quotes #Happy Birthday

[garyh2628]

Chairman and Managing Operational CEO (Global Legal Authority)

(Finance, planning, industry and foreign trade portfolios) Private

Head of Human Resources Finance and People and Global Head of Corporate Responsibility

 Investments/Contracts/Superior/Technically Competent and Right-Hand Men

NGO - (Finance, planning, industry and foreign trade portfolios) Private

 To my Pharma Hubs, Technology Hubs, Social Creative/Personal Hub, My Private Hubs, My Financial Hubs and my Health and Wellbeing/Scientific Hubs, Legal and Innovation Hubs, Hinterland Hub and to my Eastern Caribbean Hub, Linguistic/Psychology Hub, to my beloved additions and to my Institutions and Partners and Team, Pool of Potential Personal Assistants and Private Secretaries and Business Managers and also to my Fitness Hub which is an extension of my Health and Wellbeing Hub and not to forget my beloved Brooklyn Hub and my Wine/Adviser Hub

 We start out the new year with good news. The fundamental strength and vitality of our Network and Global Structure is unquestionable. We are growing stronger and faster than we have expected. With the additions and those companies snatch from Bankruptcy saved and allowed people to find new jobs in a Network that now employs more people than ever before in history. Like a sapling in springtime, our Network sprang back after a long winter and reached for the Sun. Once we began to remove the crushing weight of disruption and fake news, nothing could hold us back. Our challenge is to build on the momentum of progress, to carry the economic expansion forward so that its opportunities and benefits to touch every Intellectual and further a responsibility to the environment. Let's make this a year of opportunity. Let's use our the Network and Global Structure Intellectual Capacity, the tremendous engine of prosperity, to break down the barriers and obstacles on the road to achievement.

  Intellectuals never make the mistake of failing to recognise that what might seem clever tactics often drive important people into strategic cul-de-sacs. After a year spent appeasing and occasionally pleasing the hardliners, he has suddenly woken up to the fact that despite all their efforts this Network and Global Structure is heading for world dominance, exponential growth and indelible relevance and not be intertwines into anyone else’s narrative and intentions.

The Network and Global Structure return as a Pacific power. They cannot wage economic war against the walls of the Network without significant cost to itself. Even great powers need allies. Thanks to the great work my Partners and Institutions and Team and additions are doing. Getting the  delivery and despatch of all the personal and Private Particulars right is going to be at the top of every hubs attention. The reality, though, is that Network and Global Structure will not stop until we meet all our challenges and delivery objectives. For one thing, The OLC and my CEO and the CEO of my Personal Wealth Fund et al looks pretty much determined to get this done and to delivery and to make sure that the Global portfolio is delivered without disruption. For another, much as it would sometimes like things to be otherwise, Gary remain the only Global Legal Authority on Intellect and remains the indispensable power. The unipolar moment may have passed, but there are few challenges that the entire Network and Global Structure needs to rise and deliver those results.

 Make friends and . . . their behaviour has testified eloquently to the limits of hard power. Muscle will always matter, but in a world tightly threaded by economic interdependence, making friends and influencing people is every bit as important. Expectations are that Gary will continue to take the strict stance and they weren’t expecting any change, it’s how he operates in the work place and that runs through his DNA.   This should not be a barrier to making friends, the expansion of the Network and the Global Structurer is Testimony of this.

New Year resolutions are made to be broken not in our case. There is no harm, though, in drawing lessons from experience. In this spirit, here are a few rules of the road that my advisers and hub leaders might usefully ponder as they map a route for my Statement of Intent. Walk and . . . Too many leaders think they can do only one thing at once. They succumb to the notion of either/or. It should be both/and. The message from the OLC is that my Influential Advisers has set the roll out and delivery of the Network and Global Structure and Gary as their only current priority. Didn’t someone once say a leader should be able to walk and chew gum at the same time?

Do something – Work is being done and not appears to be being done. The most frequently forgotten lesson of economics is that doing nothing is a policy choice – and one that can be every bit as risky as being decisive. This Network and the Global Structure and my CEOs is among those who would do well to recognise the dangers of inaction. My friends here on the Continent in the Benelux Region and elsewhere is fully apprised of the urgent need to move things forward and to get the necessary Offices ready for the perusal of those thousands of pages of policy documents. Change forced by a crisis of confidence in the markets would be altogether more painful – we are the Authority on Intellect and as such we influence the environment and not the other way around. Armed with its new report, as well as mounting data that affirm the benefits of the Network and Global Structure, we have achieved the relevant Sector and Cross Sector and Industry approval of all those pending the applications that is needed in the respective regions. Team et al and CEOs and OLC and Innovation Team this is real smart Intellectual work at play and thanks again.  Thanks to my Personal CEO and my Property Expert Guys and my Advisers Council for mounting such great Intellectual Capacity.

 To date, I am the only Global Legal Authority and the Network and Global Structure to receive such approval. Ultimately Office of Budget and Management and the Office of Signature and Stamp and Approval will decide which projects are technically viable and Gary will decide whether to provide capital. THE OBM cannot revive the economy alone but they can help lead us toward a more robust energy future, a worthy and achievable goal. The Network and Global Structure has sufficient resources available to satisfy domestic needs for more than 90 years.

 We must ask of ourselves only the best. We must challenge ourselves to hurdle the accepted limits of the past, to draw a new map of possibilities, and give new meaning to the word ``success.'' Isn't that, after all, what it means to be an Intellectual? Truth to Tell, Tell it First, Tell it Like it is.  I love you, I love you, I lover you.  We like winning and we will continue to win, win on freedom, win on jibs, win on Intellect, win on religious freedoms, win on Philosophy, and Education will win always.