#and me and kazu have been talking more recently and it's been so much fun :)

[juruna-yudja]

Is the flash-forward in Ao no Exorcist (chapters 139 & 140) relevant?

Is essentially the direction this post will take and the question it seeks to answer. This WILL contains spoilers for the manga, from chapter 110 to the current last update, chapter 148. You've been warned.

So! One thing I've noticed lately in the direction Aoex is taking is that it seems to be gearing up for a final arc.

Big confrontation against the Big Bad with all the allies gathered in a desperate last stand? The world at stake? Allies actually suffer losses and are subject to mortality?

Check, check, and check.

By all metrics, this looks like a final batttle, final arc material. Except! There are a bunch of things that make me say the manga is far from over. Mostly it's a dual thing. The big one is the flash-forward chapter. The other reason is how the content of those two chapters is linked intrinsically to everything else.

And now another warning. All of this is speculation and theorizing. Take it with a grain of salt, don't get too hyped up. I could be wrong and reading too much into it. So keep that in mind.

That said, in the aforementioned chapters, halfway through chapter 139 and two-thirds of chapter 140, we see the future in a vision. More precisely, Mephisto is given a vision.

The funny thing with Mephisto is that he already broke the fourth wall once, in that one chapter I can't remember for the life of me. This, for me, gives credit to the flash-forward right away. Beyond the fact that its existence is a deliberate choice made by Katou of course.

Besides, since we're on the topics of choice, there are many elements present in those two chapters that tell me all of this was thought of in advance. Because those elements are referenced directly or in a roundabout way in the previous or following chapters. Here's my list:

Shima's dream of becoming an idol:

Chapter 139 page 27

And here is him saying it outright when asked about what they'd do after the battle in their story's present.

Chapter 144 page 9

Rin's powers:

The fun thing Kato Kazue has always done was color code Rin's power for our convenience, especially lately. In the recent fight with Yukio, he makes mention of Rin's appearance and how the way his brother looked then, bright hair and visible demon's core, meant that he was unstable. And later, Rin said that he tamed his demon's side.

Chapter 132 pages 20-21

BOOM. TRANSFORMATION

And as it happens, in the flash-forward there are also transformations and what's special about those is that he doesn't need to sheath and unsheath Kurikara to make them happen.

Chapter 140, pages 9, 16 and 18

But that is before and during the flash-forward. What about closer to the story 'present'?

Here is Yukio reaching out to Rin so his big brother can talk about his problems if he wants to. Because he learned his lesson about bottling up and trying to face everything on his lonesome. Isn't awesome and cooing worthy?

Anyways, Rin gives us access to his inner thoughts and tell us how he offered to make peace with Satan and was harshly rejected. But the whys of this are especially important.

Here he is, on the eve of their final battle, asking himself if this is the right way. Not outright rejecting Satan's words. Still on his journey of acceptance of his heritage.

The stages we've seen so far are; denial, acknowledgement, looking at the whys and hows of his nature by witnessing the past, trying to repress and then tame his demonic self by exerting control. The missing parts for me are understanding and acceptance. There is a space left for it in the 'present' and in the flash-forward, our vision of the future, he seems to have gone through those stages and be able to use his powers at will, finally at peace with himself.

Chapter 143 pages 27-28

The Paladin condition:

Chapter 139 page 21 & chapter 140 page 31

The exact same form of damage that one of the Ba'al's host bodies incurs through rapid cell regeneration/degeneration. Also, because I don't think Arthur's status as the only Lucifer's clone & prospective host to survive was put in here just to give him an existential crisis he refuses to engage with.

Speaking of the Ba'al's hosts though.

Astharoth's incarnation:

Chapter 144 pages 25 & 28

As funny as those panels are, and they are funny, I don't think it was done solely for the bit. If they were, why bother bringing back the guy who can theoretically be accredited with kicking off the whole plot by forcing Rin's first transformation?

Manga likes being self-referential and it's arguably a better idea than crafting a new guy out of whole cloth, but then why bother giving us these little glimpses into the individuals' attitudes, goals, wishes, and dreams of the Ba'al in the eleventh hour?

Katou Kazue has taught us to expect better.

And now that I've mentioned expectations...

Shiemi's uncle:

Chapter 114 pages 8-9 and chapter 131 pages 11-12

So, what's up with this guy? He scares Shiemi on an instinctual level when she's not easily frightened, and with the bloody hand and the way we see him smile in Shiemi's forgotten repressed memories, my personal bet is that he killed someone, she witnessed it and he told her to forget or made her forget. Also, has ambitions to shape her to his will, given the nature and tone of their short conversation.

Something else that's also important with Shiemi's uncle, he's the one who purposefully lied to Arthur about his origins and exudes absolutely creepy (controlling) vibes in general.

Chapter 111 pages 14-17

The Uzai family, attendants of Shemihaza, raised him once he got out of Section 13 Asylum due to Shemihaza's interest in him. That is what he's told at least. But... he's already been lied to about his past.

At the time it is very possible that Hilkiah was following the current Shemihaza's lead and keeping mum on exactly what Section 13 was or how it connected to the True Cross Order.

What matters in this section is the story's present. When presented with an opportunity to tell the truth, Jeremiah reinforced the lie.

Arthur considers him family, calls him brother. They're close enough that he expresses his deepest and most ruinous doubts to Jeremiah, the question that would make him reconsider his entire existence.

The question is, why would Jeremiah lie to Arthur?

I think the reason is that Jeremiah was assigned to stay at Lucifer's side by his uncle (despite Shemihaza's protests) to keep an eye on Lucifer and saw all of this:

Chapter 118 pages 20, 22-23

Chapter 119 pages 15-16

[Not included (I'm fighting with the image limit) but relevant. Before Lucifer zapped them all to cinders there was a first flash of light that mesmerized Arthur. He walked to it, saying, "It shines like something special... I want to be like that too." When the possibility he could die heading toward the light (ironic, I've just realized) is raised, teenage Arthur responds, "It's okay. If I die I can be part of it."]

So what Jeremiah saw is this; a child unharmed among corpses reduced to cinders, despite withstanding the full intensity of a lethal attack from Lucifer itself. The success of Section 13's research, a bargaining chip in the future for when Lucifer comes back.

And the reason I think he lied was to keep that bargaining chip nice and snug for eventual possession by Lucifer. Because demons feast on Exorcists' doubts and struggles. And what's more offputting and likely to put someone off kilter than touching upon their very identity?

Uncharitable? Maybe.

But Arthur is drawn into a fight by the guy who created Satan's host body, baited into getting close enough to be injected with something, and the next (and only) time we see him after that is during the flash-forward where he shows signs of advanced degradation.

This takes us to the final point I wanted to make.

The Looks:

Chapter 139 page 28

They're the law enforcement of the dystopian future which tracks its citizens' location and schedule; that Paku is a victim of and which Rin works against, so what? What's the only other place we see the extras wear berets alongside their uniform?

Chapter 110 pages 5-6

And which other faction wears white among the True Cross Order than the Grigori and more precisely, Shehimiza's faction? No one. Manga is a visual way of doing storytelling and this is why I think the visual coding is important.

Plus, Katou Kazue did go through the pain of giving the True Cross Order's uniforms. Uniforms that very visibly change design in that future we're allowed to glimpse, so to me, it's not a coincidence.

Also, I think, (this part is purely speculation) that in the flash-forward Jeremiah and his faction seized power, and allied with Lucifer, took control of the True Cross Order. Hence why the organization is so repressive and controlling, to the point that Rin (who didn't kill homicidal zombies because he's on the side of humans) actually kills one of their... chief operatives? Someone who represents a legion, presumably, someone important enough to be hunted down.

Previous paragraph aside, none of this was put in there on a whim or at random. In fact, the flash-forward is surprisingly cohesive, plot and characterization-wise (I'll definitely have to do an in-depth analysis of it to do it justice) and I'm of the firm belief that it is a teaser of what's to come.

Personally, and this one is a gut feeling only. I think that the current arc is either: the penultimate arc or the midway point of the manga.

#ao no exorcist #aoex #AnE #spoilers #manga spoilers #manga panels #mmeta #manalysis

[makingshortstorieslong]

I just finished episode 9 of Konya Sukiyaki Dayo

!!!!!!!!!

I would be happy enough if it ended here - I can't believe I get 3 more episodes! Looking forward to seeing what's next.

I really love when they mix up the end credits to get the boys in there. Shinta I have loved from the beginning; Yuki had to grow on me but now I adore him.

I like this living in the same apartment building deal... I do imagine a 3 bedroom apt/house scenario and wonder how that would work out. After seeing how Aiko sleeps (lol) I want her and Yuki to please please get a bigger bed (I recently shared a like king sized bed in a hotel with a friend and omg ??? There's so much space we may as well have been in separate beds) (not sure you can find apartments in Japan with room for that though idk) in one room but also still have separate rooms like they talked about. And of course I want Tomoko and Aiko to keep living together. What I'm curious about is how Tomoko and Yuki would feel about living together... would that work out or would everyone dislike it? The current arrangement seems good, I just wonder.

it's a shame hyphenating their surnames doesn't seem to be an option. I mean ideally they could get married with no one changing their name but if the rule is registered families must share a name it seems like Ota-Seguira could be an option. But I guess that just isn't done. But I also wondered if they can't legally change their name and then keep using their old surname professionally and personally. But anyway pulling out rock paper scissors at the family dinner was fucking iconic. Seguira-soon-to-be-Ota Yuki you are a legend. He really said "if the Seguira family traditions are going to make Aiko unhappy then we will simply not be the Seguira family" and I respect him for it greatly. (also I feel like I'm spelling that surname wrong am I missing a vowel or inserting an extra one? Idk)

also I hope one of these remaining 3 episodes gives some more room for Shinta. He's a star.

also also: shoutout to Japanese dramas making up fun new ways to say "queerplatonic partners" / "platonic life partners". Kazoku kazu kakari / Family (Subject to Change) has a deeply special place in my heart to the point that genuinely if I did ever form a partnership I would probably refer to it that way sometimes. But Clownfish-Anemone makes me smile a lot :) yes! Mutualism! Symbiotic partnership!

#Konya sukiyaki Dayo #Spoilers and random thoughts behind the readmore

[crimsonji]

✦ 6WIRL x OHSHC: Introductions

"welcome, to the ouran host club!"

ft. lumine, aether, xiao, kazuha, heizou, venti, scaramouche + faruzan

cw : lumine and aether are not related in this au (no romance like in original manga obv), slight canon divergence of travelers, implied xiaother?? idk

✦ synopsis : An alternate universe where the Anemo boys are a part of a host club. The Ouran Host Club is where the school's handsomest boys, with too much time on their hands, entertain young ladies who also have way too much time on their hands. However, a rubbish-looking student with unkempt blonde hair stumbles into this elegant playground, and both their worlds are turned upside down.

>> 🍁 kazuha's musings : alas, here is the beginning of a fun little au I've been thinking of for the past few months. so very sorry for the random lack of fics, i needed some time to get back into the swing of things... but! i am very excited to see where this au takes me, i hope you'll like it <3 i have sm stuff to talk about lol i hope you can bare with me while a scramble to organize things

✦ The Natural Type: Lumine

A lower-middle class student that’s attending the prestigious Ouran Academy as an honour student, and after breaking the Host Club’s vase is forced to pay off her debt by becoming their “errand boy”—but it seems that everyone at the school assumes Lumine is a boy and a pretty one at that. Say, wouldn’t it be easier to pay off that debt by becoming a host? 

Lumine is introverted and closed off in nature, yet she has an affinity for helping others. Her home life is much more humble compared to the other host club members, the only person accompanying her being her step-sister Paimon and Lumine's father. The members like to tease her about her lack of understanding of 'rich people culture', especially food. Her care and kindness always seem to shine through, and maybe with the help of the host club, she can learn to become the brightest star in the night sky.

✦ The Princely Type: Aether

The leader and founder of the infamous Ouran Host Club! He’s sickly rich, and his foreign background and, um, “charming” personality is what makes him so alluring to the guests. He is Very energetic and is often caught up in his own fantastical ideas he enjoys pestering Xiao about, he’s the reason why the club can seem so strange at times (or all the time, to be honest). Aether seldom discusses his home life, his family situation is less than joyful—as such, he finds refuge in the host club and wholeheartedly thinks of them as not only close friends but family.

He’s exceptionally selfless, and although he can be clouded by his rich background he means nothing but good intent—and Lumine (+ the other hosts) finds herself having to pull him back to reality at times. He’s a radiant star, bursting into view like the sun. It can be bothersome at times, your eyes will hurt if you look at it for too long, but the bright warmth it brings is all the more nostalgic and comforting.

✦ The Strong and Silent Type: Xiao

The Co-Founder of the host club, he handles the costs and merchandise, acting as the ‘reasonable one’ compared to Aether’s bursts of outlandish ideas. He’s been lonesome up until his last year of middle school, where he met Aether and agreed to help him set up the host club—but the only preface was that Aether had to recruit the rest of the members on his own, Xiao’s not one to socialize after all… He knew what he signed up for when he founded the host club, but his stand-offish attitude and desire to protect others are why he's very popular among guests, mysteries are all the more exciting! Hosting is not at all his strong suit, but the softened look in his eyes when Aether decides to butt in is VERY interesting to visitors.

✦ The Cool Type: Kaedehara Kazuha

Originates from an ancient clan that has declined in recent years, but still holds social power and respect in modern-day Japan. His hands wield a blade with swift precision and a pen that writes gentle poetic words on the page. Kazuha doesn't pride himself on his family name but still holds a respect for his ancestors as he has sworn to protect another fellow member of the host club (since their respective clans had been bonded by marriage). He can be pretty aloof when it comes to planning club activities, Kazuha prefers to go with the wind and is willing to hear out Aether on almost all his grand ideas for events. He's very charismatic, charming any lady with a gentle smile and the kiss of a hand.

✦ The Devilish Type: Shikanoin Heizou

He comes from a famous martial arts family and has referred to himself as Ouran's specialized 'detective' since middle school. He has a rather unique personality, which could get on some people's nerves, but Heizou's top priorities are to have fun in the host club and sleuth out any troublemakers lurking in the shadows! Not many people know this, but he was a part of the newspaper club before deciding to join the host club, and after a few less-than-pleasant events he inevitably left. 

He doesn't enjoy discussing it, though, simply shooting his guests a playful smirk and leaving them with a vague response. Heizou's always been like this, and guests wouldn't recognize the other side of himself he's learned to show to his fellow club members. Outside of his host club activities, he annoys Lumine by dragging her into his sudden little pranks, and it doesn't help that they share most of their classes. His reasonings aren't at all profound, there's no problem in having a little fun while also working on a brewing case.

✦ The Cute Type: Venti

A self-proclaimed bard that enjoys serenading fair maidens and indulging himself with a tall glass filled with red wine… which is what he wishes he could say, he can't actually drink alcohol until he's twenty-one, so instead, the club provides him with a variety of fruity beverages as compensation. Anyways! He's awfully lighthearted and carefree, seemingly not worrying about what song he'll sing for his future guests (which Kazuha tends to help him with). Although Venti seems like the youngest out of the group, he's actually a third year in high school! 

Even though Kazuha had traditionally sworn to protect Venti, Kazuha is the younger one. Venti insists that their clan relations shouldn't stiffen their relationship. As far as anyone else knows, they're just two friends who joined the host club for fun! Venti is rather childish at face value, but he's much more perceiving than he likes to lead on, perhaps one of the reasons he joined was just to be pampered in praises and affection by the guests… Venti is always carrying around a large plush toy resembling a tanuki with a peculiar leaf on its head, and it's an unspoken rule to never mess with "Muji".

✦ The Naughty Type: Scaramouche

The son of Japan's prime minister, he carries a cold glare and silver tongue wherever he wanders. He had absolutely zero interest in meddling with a frivolous host club, yet after the breakage of… a few prized glass sculptures from the host club, Scaramouche is in the same predicament Lumine was in. She tries to show him some encouraging comfort, but his response is far more bitter. It's hard to pinpoint on just why Scaramouche decided to stay, he prefers to act high and mighty and refer to his club members as simply 'lesser value', but it's clear there's a more emotional reason to this. (When asked about this, he just said they have high-quality tea leaves.) 

Both Lumine and Heizou subconsciously appointed themselves to teach Scaramouche the ropes of being a good host, and it's almost comical having Scaramouche blatantly insult guests while the pair try to cut him off and lessen the sting of his crude remarks. It's hard to believe why he had to go through this much trouble to pay off a debt he could easily have someone else settle, and the main reason would be the relationship with his mother, but… that's a story for another time.

✦ The Manager: Faruzan

Lastly, we have the Ouran host club's self-appointed manager! She prides herself on her intelligence and higher grade (even though Venti is the same age as her) and enjoys guiding the members on developing their 'characters' to be more appealing to guests. Since she's the only female member outside of Lumine, Faruzan strongly believes she's much more qualified for what girls like. Speaking of the pair, Faruzan often refers to Lumine as the actual 'leader' of the host club, as she has no trouble charming and conversing with guests compared to the other members' over-the-top antics. 

Aether acts a bit hurt over this, but that doesn't diminish the respect the boys have for Madame Faruzan and vise-versa! As to how she was appointed to the manager role, she was acquainted with Lumine beforehand and acted as her study mentor. As such, she discovered Lumine's relations with the host club and was so shocked by the state that she took it upon herself to 'help' them. How is madame Faruzan so well-versed in romance, you may ask? An absurd amount of free time and mentally taxing studies can lead to you picking up rather strange young adult novels, let's say…

literally just gave up on trying to fix the wonky formatting it is not agreeing w me tonight …

#[🍁] kazuha's haiku collection #aether fanfic #aether genshin #lumine fanfic #lumine genshin #xiao fanfic #xiao genshin #kazuha fanfic #kazuha fluff #aether fluff #lumine fluff #xiao fluff #heizou fanfic #heizou genshin #heizou fluff #venti fanfic #venti genshin #venti fluff #faruzan #scaramouche fanfic #scaramouche fluff

[ichinisankaku]

Event Translation - Special Edition: How to Enjoy Midsummer (Chapter 6)

Hisoka: What should I talk about in the special feature...

?

Wonder what that is.

Hisoka: A boat?

Shopkeeper: Hey there. You were at the photoshoot, right?

This is where you can enjoy jet skiing.

What's more, we'll lend you a rod and other supplies for fishing in the sea.

I'll offer it you for cheap since you're doing the tour plan, so do you want to give it a go?

Hisoka: Let's see.

(Jet skiing and fishing in the sea... those are vacation-y, so they might be good to talk about.)

Kumon: Wahoo!

Hisoka: !

Kumon: Jet skiing is the best! Going so fast felt great, it was so much fun~!

Kazunari: IKR! Seriously refreshing!

Hey hey, let's go try out the fishing next!

Kumon: Let's go let's go! Kazu-san, let's have a match to see how many we can catch!

Kazunari: Aaaalright, I'm not gonna lose☆

Hisoka: ...

(Those two might be talking about the jet skis and the fishing. I'll go look for something else.)

Hisoka: A souvenir shop...

(...Character goods? Maybe it's a local mascot.)

(If I present this kind of souvenir...)

Sakyo: Huh, local mascot goods?

Hisoka: !

Shopkeeper: Yes, that's right. We've recently started promoting them, and putting them out in our buildings too.

Sakyo: Might be interesting to present this kind of souvenir.

Hisoka: (...Sakyo saw them too. I wonder if he'll present them.)

(...Something else to present... Hopefully something away from the sea will...)

Mihama: Ah, Mikage-sama. Working hard I see! How's it going, found anything you're interested in yet?

Hisoka: ...Still haven't decided what to talk about.

Mihama: Is that so? There are other things to sell that aren't activities or souvenirs.

To start, the scenery here is nice. Look, isn't the sight of the mountain from here pretty?

Hisoka: Mountain?

Mihama: Yeah! The article is about the seaside tour, but you can actually talk about the mountain as well, not just the sea.

There's been some recent maintenance to open a campsite. You can also make your own camp using tools that we lend.

Hisoka: (Making a camp... might be nice. I could show that there are tours other than this one.)

Mihama: Usui-sama seemed interested in it too, we were talking about it at the office just before. Why don't you go with him?

Hisoka: ...

If Masumi seems like he'll present it, I'll try looking for something else.

Mihama: Really? Well, if you have any questions or anything, please call for me anytime.

Hisoka: (Everything I thought I'd present is already covered by the others... What do I do...)

...

...Haa... it's hot...

...

Azuma: Hisoka?

Hisoka: ...

Azuma: Are you alright?

...You seem a bit warm. How about we go rest somewhere cool?

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Epilogue

#a3! #a3! translation #act! addict! actors! #hisoka mikage #azuma yukishiro

[natsu-tte-noodle]

手紙 (Letters) - To Itaru

(Cross Posted on AO3)

Words: 1020 Warnings: None

Dear Itaru,

Knowing you, it’ll be evening when you read this, so good evening.  I hope this letter finds you with a reasonable amount of office work and enough time to have fun with your games.

I’m actually pretty excited to be writing you a letter, because this isn’t the sort of thing I get to do very often.  Everyone in the dorm seems to be having fun with it.  Last night, a bunch of us were wondering whether they’d get their letter before sending it, and if the person they’re writing to would send their letter before them.  I have the sneaking suspicion that you’ll be getting this first, but don’t worry–your secret is safe with me, haha.

I haven’t gotten my letter yet either, and I’m just as excited to read it as I am to write this one.  I’ve received the occasional letter, of course, but I’ve never really been in a position where I had someone to truly correspond with.  So it’s a new experience for me.  I think it’s wonderful that there are still firsts for me at my age.  You don’t strike me as the letter type, so hopefully this is an exciting new experience for you too.

(Consider that your little push to start your own letter.  Chikage asked me to include that, and while I’m not sure how he knew I was the one writing to you, I didn’t see any problem obliging him.  He also said to not bring him up, but that’s no fun is it?)

Actually, I’ve been thinking about what I wanted to write down as the body of this letter for a few days.  I’ve come to the conclusion, though, that a serious letter isn’t either of our styles.  So I’m going to try to keep this lighthearted.  If we have anything serious to talk about with each other, we can do it face to face over a few drinks.

But speaking of drinks, do you remember the last time the company adults got together?  Sakyo was out on business, and I believe Chikage also couldn’t make it for whatever reason, but the rest of us went to that “super trendy new bar” that Kazu recommended.  Your taste in beer is surprisingly simple, by the way.  But anyway, if you remember, while we were there Tsumugi suggested that we all go on a sake tasting day trip one day.

I think everyone but Hisoka was tipsy at that point, so it’s possible that everyone’s forgotten about it.  But I was thinking about it recently, and Guy agreed that it would be a lot of fun when I brought it up with him.  Sooo…

I hope this isn’t asking for too much, but would you like to help Guy and I organize the trip?  We could use someone with your sales prowess to convince Sakyo to allow it.  Guy isn’t the best with this sort of thing yet, and I kind of have a track record of being dishonest about it, so with just us it’d be difficult.

It’s not just that, though.  If that was all, I’d have figured it out on my own.  I just have a feeling that you’d be a very comfortable person to work with on this.  Everyone would mean well, of course, but I can already think of all the ways that they would make it stressful.  I really need someone who’s more go-with-the-flow, but is still capable of planning.  Like you.

So I guess the long and short of it is that with you on the team, I wouldn’t have to worry about the plans all falling through.  If something goes wrong, I know I can trust you to work on a back-up plan rather than panicking or giving up.

In return, you’d have a say in the breweries we visit.  We’ll even set it up so that you aren’t one of the drivers and can taste to your heart’s content.

If you need any other compensation, let me know ;) I get lots of discounts on good stores and restaurants.

It’s not uncommon for us to go on trips and the like, but it IS pretty rare for us to go on one without a performance attached to it.  I think we’ve done great this year, so it might be nice to plan it for sometime after Die by the Sword is over.  A little reward for a successful fourth and fifth play for us adults who have been balancing acting with everything else in our lives.  Surely even Sakyo wants to treat himself every now and again, right?

We’ll also need to decide what our age cut-off will be.  I’m more than happy to include everyone all the way down to Kazunari, but we’ll have to see how everyone feels and if their schedules would allow it.  Actually, is Tsuzuru old enough to drink yet, or is that next year?  I’d hate to leave somebody out by mistake.

But all that can be decided after we convince Sakyo to let us go, haha.

I feel like a child getting ready for a sleepover–just thinking about it is so exciting!  I really do hope that we can pull it off.  And I have to say I’m very excited for the chance to collaborate with you for planning it out.  Granted that you accept the offer, of course.  I hope you will.

Well, I’ll finish off by letting you know: while I was in town the other night, I saw a display in one of the cafes near the Shibuya station that I thought might interest you.  It wasn’t anything I recognized, but it looked like themed desserts based on a game?  One of the items was labeled Slime Cupcake, and each one had a cute little face on the frosting.  If you want to check it out, I wouldn’t mind stopping there again.  I’ve heard good things about that place from former clients.  I’ll text you the address if you want to look into it yourself first.

Feel free to stop by my room any time, no reason needed.

Yours,

Azuma

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#a3! #a3 fic #a3 fanfiction #itaru chigasaki #a3! itaru #azuma yukishiro #a3! azuma

[uwua3]

Um hi! I was wondering if I could get headcanons on kazunari spending time with an old friend after being separated for a long time? Thank you so much! 🌸

of course! i’m sososo happy for this request :O it allowed me to get closure for a similar experience i’ve had, so this was healing ♡ thank you so much, i love you!!! (^з^)-☆

summary: sometimes, friends aren’t forever. nevertheless, friendship break ups were definitely more painful than romantic ones

warnings: angst, breakdowns, closure, crying, friendship break ups, hitting (jokingly), insecurities

author’s note: as seen in the title, this contains lots of social media (especially tik tok) references! please read this and understand, it’s okay to not be friends with someone anymore—not everyone is meant to be your bff, and that’s okay ! you’re okay ♡ (reminder: this is a platonic writing! no romantic feelings whatsoever)

word count: 5,267

music: electric love – børns

tik tok famous

🌻🎨 miyoshi kazunari

the kazunari you were best friends with was gone—instead, it was someone you didn’t recognize

you scrolled through the account tagged in an ad promoting a play in your area, the stranger familiar in a painful way. why you had clicked, you had no idea, but here you were: stalking your ex best friend’s instablam profile

it felt like high school again. laying in bed between four pitch black walls, with nothing but your phone illuminated by kazunari’s smiling face in a trending post. nights spent thinking about the artistic popular boy in your grade caught up to you even in university

swipe. another selfie of kazunari grinning with his friends. swipe. a group photo with his cast members, apparently. swipe. the same promotional poster for his company’s play that was just advertised to you not too long ago

you stared at the screen, mindlessly scrolling through each and every single post just to see his face again and again. there was no reason to, you hadn’t thought of him in years

but... why couldn’t you look away?

before you could end up years in advance of his perfectly structured feed, a notification appeared at the top of your screen

kazu-PIKO started a live video! watch it before it ends!

your finger hovered over the rainbow circle now around kazunari’s icon, hesitating due to the countless worries in your head. what if he remembered who you were? though, with a followers count like his, he was maybe too famous to even notice

when you decided to leave his life for good and ended the friendship before senior year, you never expected to find him again. you had moved on and treasured the good memories before everything became a mess, but now, all you wanted to do was see your best friend again

sighing, you decided it wasn’t worth it. there was no point bringing up the past, it was a process but it was time to keep letting go. you were about to exit his profile but you must’ve misclicked, because suddenly you were brought to kazunari’s slightly sweaty but energized grin on the screen

you could’ve left the live any time. pretended like none of this happened and you could never see kazunari again in your entire life

but... no, you stayed and settled back into your bed, watching the screen as kazunari talked on and on

he was wearing an elaborate costume you were sure he just finished performing in, his cast members bustling around him excitedly in what seemed like a dressing room. it must’ve been closing night, considering the bouquets of flowers all around them from adoring fans and more

“what’s up, what’s up~?” kazunari yelled out, a chorus of shushes in the background apparent even as he laughed. taking a quick gulp of water, kazunari said something to a person behind the camera with a wink and promise of hanging out post after–party. you followed the comments, all of them congratulating kazunari on his final show of the season

he was always the more popular, friendly, and extroverted one. of course he had a fanbase, he was meant to be in the spotlight. and, you... weren’t

“kazu here! wanted to see how everyone liked summer troupe’s newest play~ how’d i do? super good?” kazunari giggled, resting in a director’s chair as the mirror behind him reflected four other people trying their best to avoid the camera (wait... was that famous child actor tenma sumeragi—?!)

“you know... we’ve been thinking—” kazunari started, stopping with a loud protest when a towel hit his face. “stop thinking, you only get bad ideas.” a rough voice complained, the tone harsh but quickly turned into an accidental yelp when kazunari panned the camera to reveal a young green–haired boy who moved to the side to hide

laughing again, kazunari said something about how yukki–chan was too cute for his own good before continuing his statement, using the towel to wipe his forehead

“anyways~ isn’t it time for a mankai instablam?!” kazunari exclaimed, the chat matching his vibe by keyboard smashing to express their support. you wondered why that name rang a bell, but ultimately became distracted by kazunari’s effortless sunshine disposition

“frooch—” a quick side eye glance to his left with a nervous laugh, “sakyo–san! definitely meant that... i love you, sakyo~” a kiss was blown in the same direction and a defeated sigh of “kazunari...” was heard

“sakyo finally let us kids have some fun and get instablam for the theatre company! run by yours truly, but posted by everyone~ check it out!”

you noticed he dropped the username in the comments and when you looked back up, it felt like he was looking into your eyes again. you missed him, a lot

you followed the mankai profile, watching the count rise up as you got lost in the numbers. he wouldn’t notice, he couldn’t have, he would never

when the live ended, it felt like the room was suddenly too quiet. like you were missing your other half... you ignored it and went to bed, tired from social media

(hours later, kazunari let out a sigh of relief, closing the door to his dorm gently as his back slid against the surface. he hit the floor softly, his mood ruined once he pulled out his phone and scrolled through the recent followers again. he never thought he’d see you again, but here you were, following his company’s instagram)

(it had been a long time since he missed you like this. kazunari turned in from the party uncharacteristically early, just to stare at your profile. if only he could follow back)

you didn’t know when it became a habit, but the first thing you did when you woke up was check the mankai instablam. one thing led to another, and you’d find yourself continuining your day but with the casual obsession of seeing if it was kazunari who posted

over time, you learned the company members’ names just from the sheer content twenty (20) boys could produce. from following the profile to catching up on the blogs to every livestream in between, it was an understatement to say you were a fan

you never did follow kazunari’s personal blog, but he would always be your favorite. something about his acting and friendliness drew you in all over again, fighting to be the first to like his new update

sure, at first, you didn’t physically recognize him. he had dyed his hair now, a much more vibrant blonde with stylish and trendy fashion to make him stand out. his black hair and basic school uniform days were gone and only in your memories

but, throughout the years apart, he had remained the same. once a people pleaser, always a people pleaser, you suppose. you could never keep up with his intense energy and rambunctious vibes, he was a force on his own

mankai_company just posted a photo!

you subconsciously smiled when you saw kazunari posted again, this time a selfie instead of the usual group hang out photo. he seemed to be in a track suit inside the practice room, his reflection showing it was just misumi making a triangle with his hands behind the phone

(some part inside you wished you could’ve taken cute bonding pictures together with kazunari... but that time was gone now)

you were about to scroll through the rapid comments before you noticed the caption with the typical kazu stars and emoticons

“heya mankai fam~! ^_−☆ check out our newest tik tok account! @ mankai_company ~ see ya there!!! – kazuuu ✨”

you weren’t exactly shocked to see sakyo finally let the gen z kids of the ensemble finally get their hands on a shared tik tok account. switching to the other app, you followed and put on notifications like always

maybe it was following mankai that changed the algorithim, but suddenly your feed on tik tok was... different, to say the least

kazunari’s rising popularity wasn’t just from his theatre gig, but also his own individual account. of course he had his own content, you should’ve known

kazunari was becoming a well known tik toker who often posted anything under the sun. dance videos, funny pranks on his troupe members, and acting povs that were way too professional

you didn’t think anything of it until you had swiped through your “for you” page, liking anything that made you laugh and find momentary serotonin in the humor. as you were about to skip past one, you noticed the username

kaz-PIKO: like this and i’ll message them~ ☆

message who? you restarted the tik tok only to see kazunari was in his usual training outfit, the yellow and black tracksuit and gold headband as he sat in front of the practice room mirror with his phone recording his reflection

(you noticed it matched the outfit in his instablam post that advertised the mankai tik tok account a week ago)

reading the text that occassionally came in on screen, you held your breath as you made the connections

kazunari pointed to a corner where the colored text appeared: “i have this best friend i lost contact with...” next, a cut to black when he covered the camera with his hand. then, a quick transition of all the photos you had ever taken with him with your face covered with a sticker

(you didn’t think he’d keep them in his phone after what had happened)

“i miss them, they were everything to me.”

(he was everything to you before, too)

“i noticed they followed me recently, should i dm them?” the video cut back to kazunari who shrugged and it ended there

you released a deep breath, pausing your daily afternoon scroll to fully comprehend the situation

of course kazunari noticed. he was too perceptive for his own good, he could never forget a face, or username, for the life of him

but was this... a sign? a call out from the universe to have closure from such a long friendship that defined your youth?

you didn’t bother opening the comments, you didn’t need anything convincing you otherwise. you moved on, ignoring kazunari’s latest tik tok even though it stayed on your mind all day. you couldn’t think of anything else

never in a million years did you expect to find yourself back as your high school self, hopelessly wishing you could be worthy of your childhood best friend. this time, you were just a little bit older

kazunari took his ten minute break after helping summer troupe with moving stage props, sighing as he refreshed his tik tok account again. the views kept going up, yet, no like from your account

all he needed was a like from you, some signal you were ready to talk again, and he’d message you right away

but until then, kazunari pocketed his phone and distracted himself with a loud cheer for the snacks director brought to the stage. he would have to patiently wait for you to see

another few days pass before kazunari is doing the same exact thing as you—scrolling through tik tok and sending them to active groupchats and other friends

then, it happened

going viral online wasn’t anything new, but not to this level

thousands of comments made kazunari’s phone ping like crazy, everyone insisting on knowing who the person was in his latest tik tok. it seemed like the algorithim grabbed his video and sent it to every person’s fyp, because suddenly all the spotlight was on him to go send a message

at first, kazunari was overjoyed with this new level of attention. how cool! that just meant more instablam likes~ he hoped his art posts would receive the same recognition, so he scrolled through his comments only to see the most liked comment

wait, isn’t this [insert your @] from high school?

oh my god

your phone was going off consistently, the tik tok notification soind buzzing on your bed. you sleepily woke up from a short nap to hundreds of people mentioning you. oh no... what had you done now?

you opened the tag. it was the same kazunari tik tok you made a point to avoid before. but now, it came back, louder than ever

kazunari was generally tik tik popular, but not this famous! you checked the comments and noticed your friend had started this chain of tagging. of course they did, you rolled over to try your best and muffle your scream in your pillow

if you didn’t like his post now... there would be no more chances to ever speak to him again

lifting your head to stare at the screen in front of you, you had never thrown your phone at the end of your bed so fast after double tapping

(kazunari almost missed it, but when your username flashed across the top of his screen, he simply switched apps to go into his finsta to scream)

(whoiskazu: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH THEY LIKED MY TIK TOK I HAVE TO DM THEM WHAT DO I SAY JSJFJSJCJD HELP?!?!@!:!,!,’&@:@;’???)

(nottenma: please be a normal human ,,,)

(princemukkun: you got this, kazu! i support you!)

(misankaku: 🔺🔺🔺 say that)

(yukiruri: SHUT UP I CAN HEAR YOU FROM ACROSS THE DORMS)

(whoiskazu: no ❤️)

after lots of encouragement from the only two summer troupe members who supported him, misumi & muku, kazunari calmed down to stare at the open chat log. all he had to do was say something, anything, and things would go from there

but sometimes, a picture spoke a thousand words

ping! kaz–PIKO followed you!

kaz–PIKO sent you a message:

when you opened the dm after pacing nervously in your room for a good minute or so, you subconsciously let out a sigh of relief and couldn’t help but laugh

of course, only kazunari would send you a meme of a bunch of pink hearts

it was like time never passed between you two. one meme led to another anecdote of gen z humor and before you knew it, it was like you guys were friends again

things were always easier over text, however, so when kazunari suggested you both meet up, you stopped typing and reread the text over again

kaz–PIKO: i’d love to hang out with you!!! ☆ when are you free~? :D

your anxieties were relieved for a moment once he double–texted a cute pleading sticker. it was so like him that you actually considered seeing him even if it had been years since the last time you both parted ways

it was too late to back out now, you both knew you missed each other and were better people now. university maturity was just a simply different time and place in a teen’s life compared to figuring everything out in high school

on the other side of the screen, kazunari couldn’t help but feel a little nervous on what he said. he was always too forward in wanting to interact with people, but maybe this was pushing it

he didn’t exactly forget you were the one who ended the friendship. but, so much time had passed it was better left unsaid. he forgave you a long time ago; you both had emotionally become new people with healthier habits and more refined personalities. what was there to hold a grudge about? (or at least, so he thought)

kazunari was just worried you didn’t feel the same way and he was opening an opportunity for you to hurt him again

“this is so not cool!” kazunari huffed, having a pillow thrown at his head after he stumbled back. it felt like deja vu, why was he always the victim of yuki’s aim?!

“yo, friendly mcextrovert, you forget we actually have work?” yuki rudely reminded him, but had a hint of concern in his narrowed eyes. the two creative geniuses of mankai were huddled around kazunari’s laptop to finish designing the posters. obviously, with fashion extroidinaire yuki’s input on color (yet, kazunari was most definitely focused on other things besides digital editing)

“ah, sorry~” kazunari weakly laughed, the look in his eyes not quite right. yuki hummed, unconvinced, before turning back to the screen with spare glances at kazunari’s slouched frame. the two of them continued to work in uncomfortable silence before yuki sighed, pushing the laptop further away while rubbing his forehead

“ok, ok, i give in. what’s got you so down?”

kazunari raised his eyebrows in surprise before quickly putting on his usual front, grinning as he flashed a cute peace sign. “nothing~ you’re seeing things, yukki–chan!”

yuki smacked his hand down with a very obvious eye roll, ignoring kazunari’s dramatic complaints about his unnecessary use of force (“ow! so not nice, yukki–chan!” “can you shut up for one second?!” “no, i cannot~”)

“i’m seeing you’re stressing about something and it’s interfering with our work. so, spill.” yuki pretended like the facade was all for work, but when he completely turned his body so he was facing kazunari, closing the laptop in the process and making sure there were no distractions in the process, kazunari genuinely smiled

“awww, is yukki–chan worried about his bff~? you love me—” “i’ll end you right here and now if you don’t start talking.”

silence, then the realization, oh, he wasn’t joking. so, kazunari rubbed the back of his neck with an awkward attempt at a laugh as he glazed over the details of his latest problem. yuki listened attentively, not making a single sound as he decided to rest his hands in his lap

“okay.” yuki finally said and kazunari did a double take. “okay?” kazunari almost couldn’t believe it. it literally took all his strength to be emotionally vulnerable for once, and this was the response? kazunari blinked before yuki patted his shoulder, though he moved exactly like a robot who never functioned around humans before

“how do you feel now?”

kazunari thought about it some more, reaching out for his sketchbook before yuki blocked his hand. “you know, you can’t keep distracting yourself from your feelings. it’s okay to be, not happy, all the time.”

kazunari stopped and slouched further into his frame, trying his best to avoid the effect of the call out. ouch, by the way

it’s not that big of a deal, kazunari thought as he fidgeted with the zipper of his jacket. the sound was very prominent in the quiet room now, but yuki patiently waited for an answer

“i’m... scared, i guess? people, people always leave me. i couldn’t be the right person for them last time, what if i’m not a good friend?” kazunari rambled for once, a weight getting lifted off his shoulders when he verbally expressed the number one fear haunting him. yuki nodded, clearly about to disagree before he sympathetically pulled kazunari into an one–armed hug. kazunari returned it, avoiding eye contact as he stared at paint stains on his shoes

“it’s okay to be your true self. mankai likes you for who you are, right? especially, summer. we’re friends.” yuki explained, and kazunari let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in. maybe that’s all he needed to hear, because he leaned his head on yuki’s with a desperate attempt to not cry all over his friend

“you can cry.”

and kazunari finally faced the pain and trauma that came with a best friend leaving, closing his eyes and trying to stifle his own cries. yuki didn’t say anything again, just rubbed kazunari’s back as consolation as kazunari hid his face away from sight

“i, i just wanted to know what i did wrong. why am i never good enough? why can’t anyone ever stay? why is it my fault?” kazunari sobbed, curling into himself as he failed to maintain his usual composure. yuki continued offering silent motivation, knowing all kazunari needed was someone who listened and understood

“i... i will never be better. i’ll never be someone’s first choice, my efforts will never be enough. i want to be worthy of love.” kazunari mumbled, settling down as he realized the severity of the situation. it was the first time he cried so honestly to someone, he was about to pull away before yuki looked into his eyes with a soft smile

“you are, very much so. you deserve validation, happiness, and anything in between. your past isn’t your fault, kazu. what someone did to you was out of your control, it’s not an indication of what you’re worth.”

kazunari nodded, finding comfort in the words since they came from yuki. yuki stood up after a while and offered his hand, to which kazunari accepted and mumbled an embarrassed apology for being so out of character. yuki just lightly punched his arm, a new understanding between them

“i like you for who you are, never change, kazunari.”

(a hour later, you got a notification kazunari posted a new tik tok. it was with mankai’s fashion designer, yuki, this time, who were both wearing cat ears. it must’ve been an old costume as they did a “fit check”. yuki never looked amused in kazunari’s videos, but he seemed closer to him this time around. you wondered why. at least, they were both happy)

(when you agreed to meet up, kazunari exhaled and dropped back into bed. holding the phone above his face, kazunari rapidly typed back an adorable sticker before throwing his phone aside)

(muku picked his head up from a manga, coming over to snuggle into kazunari’s side without another word. kazunari hugged him back, burying his face in muku’s chest with a smile. he loved his friends so much)

(ping! another tik tok, this time kazunari and muku were reenacting a manga scene from some popular series with the audio from the actual anime)

“are you okay?” tenma’s protective leadership qualities kicked in, moving to stand beside his troupe member with a concerned expression. kazunari nodded, but his hands were shaking in his jean pockets and he kept scuffing the heel of his shoes against the pavement

today was the day. you and kazunari were reuniting after an especially messy friendship break up. the last time he ever saw you was when you walked the stage at his high school graduation, now, here he was, craning his head to look for your familiar face

the rest of summer troupe came for moral support, because that’s just who they were. kazunari let yuki explain the predicament when they all found kazunari pacing the main living room earlier, and they were certain the power of friendship would save the day

(maybe, coming in with very exaggerated disguises were a bit too overboard, though. seriously? a group of four wearing tinted sunglasses and all black in the summer caught more attention than necessary)

nevertheless, you and kazunari agreed on a local café nearby. he wondered if you remembered you two frequented this joint all the time in high school, for everything from late night cram sessions to needing a pick me up for working hard on extracurricular activities. he hadn’t gone in a long, long time. everything reminded kazunari of you, causing him to order your usual impulsively without thinking if it—you, changed

sliding into a free table by the window, kazunari held up a small wave to the highly suspicious group at the opposite end of the café as they all finger–gunned back. really... anyone could recognize their unusual bright hair from a mile away

(tenma didn’t even change it, he had the iconic sumeragi orange on full display and attracted hushed whispers immediately)

kazunari perked his head up if the door bell rang but fell dejectedly whenever it wasn’t you. anxiously tapping his foot, kazunari fiddled with his stud earring as he barely drank his over the top coffee. it had too much sugar, maybe that’s why he’s so jumpy

checking his phone, kazunari frowned. you were a bit late... though, you always did that back then. relieved, kazunari thought, maybe you didn’t change that much

missing the bell by the entrance, kazunari was too busy scrolling through his feed before he felt a tap on his shoulder. assuming it was a barista, kazunari lifted his head with a bright smile before it morphed into an expression of shock

it was you

and, you were barely recognizable

it shouldn’t have hurted him as much as it did, but kazunari stood up and opened his arms with a big smile. “hey~! thanks for coming, missed ya!” was his voice too high? too excited? he always worried about those types of things around you, but he just realized that now

(he was so caught up in meeting you again, he missed the mutters of summer. they were looking you up and down, already getting a bad feeling as they devised a plan to get kazunari out whenever it seemed uncomfortable)

“hi, kazunari.” you said, awkwardly going in for a hug before settling across from him. kazunari sat back down and pushed a cup towards you, smiling to the point where his cheeks hurt

“you still like this, right?” kazunari laughed but he felt like there were no air in his lungs. a part of him accepted a long time ago he’d never see you again, so this felt like reopening old wounds he neglected to care for

“ahaha... no, not really. don’t worry, it’s still decent!” you fumbled on your words, taking a sip of the drink only to reveal a slight grimance. kazunari nodded, a flustered blush across his face as he swore within his head. you didn’t like that order anymore? you loved it back in high school...

“haha... cool...” kazunari trailed off and it was uncomfortably silent despite the lively atmostphere of the popular café. it had definitely become busier since both your high school days, that’s for sure. maybe, that was a blessing and curse at the same time

tenma was about to stand up and pull kazunari aside, acting like it was an emergency, before misumi grabbed him with surprising strength. about to retaliate, tenma just fell silent when muku shook his head with a pointed look towards your table

kazunari swirled the metal straw in his order, watching the movement of the foam with unnatural quietness. it bothered him, not being able to talk comfortably as an extrovert, so he started speaking when he noticed you wouldn’t start the conversation

“so... how have you been?”

“good, good. you?”

“great! thanks for asking.”

“yeah...”

silence, again. this was becoming unbearable. kazunari sharply exhaled through his nose before pushing aside his drink, sitting up to cross his arms on the table with a serious look

“talk to me. we haven’t seen each other in years, but we are—were best friends. what’s up?” kazunari stated, hurriedly correcting himself when he caught your wide eyes. you seemed to contemplate it for a moment before agreeing, mimicking his posture with new confidence

“it’s... strange, seeing you again. i feel like i barely know who you are now.” you explained slowly and kazunari nodded, also feeling the same way as he rested his cheek against his palm. this was going to be a hard, but long overdue, conversation

who knows? maybe, it’d heal that dramatic part of your coming of age childhoods that you both needed

“same. so much has changed ever since we, you know.” kazunari replied and it was about to be awkward again before you responded, scratching your head with a distant look

“yeah... i’m sorry, for leaving you.”

“why did you?”

kazunari’s words were automatic, coming from a part of him that always wondered this when things got rough. when it was too quiet at night and he laid awake staring at his bedroom ceiling, he questioned why he wasn’t the best friend you wanted. or, when he drove by your old school, he often thought why weren’t all the good memories enough to make you stay?

whoever said friendship break ups were more painful than romantic ones, was right

(being abandoned by someone who knew him more than kazunari knew himself was... a turning point in his life)

you reeled back from the surprise, spluttering as you tried to form a coherent sentence. kazunari passed you a napkin, to which you took gratefully. it was supposed to be natural, everyone said that, but this conversation took effort to maintain

“you’re right, i owe you an explanation.” you mumbled, the question catching you off guard. kazunari waited, like he always did, before you continued, your voice clear despite the busy ambience. all noise faded into the background as kazunari listened to the words he wished high school him could’ve heard before

“we... we just were in different parts of our life. you are, to this day, the life of the party. the bold, loud, energetic student who’s outgoing, charismatic, and always saying something. i’m... not.”

(when kazunari was about to interrupt, you held up your hand and he sat back, realizing yeah—he did like talking way too much)

“it was hard... being known as ‘kazunari’s best friend’ and nothing more. you’re bigger than life, kazunari, i’m not like that. and, that’s okay, at least for me.”

“i just... i had to be my own person. spread my wings, be independent, you know? you didn’t hold me back, but i needed time to be myself and stand alone.”

you looked relieved, like this was something you held back for years. kazunari was floored, he honestly didn’t expect this. he truly wasn’t aware you felt overshadowed since he took all the attention away from you. a deep sense of shame washed over kazunari when he realized how lonely it must’ve felt

“when you left, i questioned everything. whether the friendship was real or not... or what i did wrong. i wish you told me before, but i, i understand.” kazunari forced out and it wasn’t a lie. he did understand, the fear of being forgotten and mislabeled. your reasoning was completely valid, it was for self growth and confidence (something he still needed to work on)

“i’m sorry for doing that to you. i never intended to, but i know impact matters most. i’m sorry you felt overshadowed, you were always my number one.” kazunari said and you reached over to take his hand, albeit awkwardly. it was comforting as you smiled with tears in your eyes

“i know, you were my first choice, too. i’m glad i was your best friend, i miss you and i love you so much.”

“i miss and love you, too, bff.”

(it was something both of you needed to hear, and the childhood versions of yourselves felt like they could move on. this, this was closure)

when you two catched up on university and everything else, kazunari pulled out his phone (which he hadn’t checked in hours after texting summer to go back to the dorms). holding it up in the air with a mischevious wink, you and kazunari both knew where this was going

“wanna make a tik tok?”

kaz–PIKO: always friends ♡

(it was labeled as a part two to his original post about missing his best friend. you and kazunari pretended to do the ‘electric love kissing’ challenge, before the audio cut to ‘sike!’. kazunari ran over to his phone to end the video, both your laughing faces in the last frame)

(it blew up, again. as expected of popular tik tok king kazunari)

regardless of the comments and likes, kazunari was right—you two would always be friends. it didn’t have to be more than that, this was for the best, and that’s okay

#miyoshi kazunari #kazunari miyoshi #a3! act! addict! actors! #a3! #act! addict! actors! #a3! actor training game #a3! headcanons #act! addict! actors! headcanons #mankai a3! #mankai company #a3! x reader #a3 x reader #kazunari x reader #a3! kazunari #a3 kazunari

[chiaki-translation]

SSR Kazunari [Invitation to the Mansion of Curiosity]: Backstage Translation

FOR THE LOVE OF KAZU, STOP WITH THE GACHA! I mean, I’m happy that he got more story, but seriously, this is taking the toll on my budget :’)

Anyway, I tried to get this done because I want to focus on the event story tomorrow when it comes out, enjoy~

Summary:

Kazunari met his art teacher on an art exhibition and ended up bringing Summer Troupe to visit his middle school.

Disclaimer:

A3! is owned by Liber’s Entertainment

I Want to Draw a Lot of Memories 

Director:

--Alright, that should be everything we need to buy.

Kazunari:

Right. Then, let’s go back.

Ah, let me carry that too.

Director:

Thank you, Kazunari-kun.

Eh, there’s an exhibition poster in this kind of place.

…Hee, there’s a solo exhibition near here.

It’s a Japanese painter.

Kazunari-kun, do you know this person--

Kazunari:

Woah, this one’s only until tomorrow!

I almost forgot~!

Director:

Ka, Kazunari-kun?

Kazunari:

Director-chan, really thank you for recognizing the poster!

Director:

Eh, are you going to go to this solo exhibition?

Kazunari:

Yep, I like this painter’s work.

That’s why I’ll definitely go, but…

It seems that I’ve forgotten about it somehow.

Even thought I don’t usually forget~

Director:

You were busy with your university stuffs recently.

I’m glad you didn’t end up missing it.

What kind of work does this painter do?

Kazunari:

Ah. Director-chan, are you curious?

Director:

Yeah, I’m quite interested I guess.

I’m curious about what kind of painter Kazunari-kun likes.

Kazunari:

If that’s the case, let’s go together with me!

Only if Director-chan’s free tomorrow though.

Director:

Eh, is it alright?

Kazunari:

Courz!

I’m going to be happy if Director-chan’s going with me too.

Director:

Then I won’t hold back, I’ll be in your care.

Kazunari:

Alright, looking forward to it~!

<Shifts to Exhibition Venue>

Kazunari:

--Look, next will be this one. It’s totally different from the one earlier right?

Director:

You’re right, I will never guess that it’s made by the same person.

Kazunari:

Right right! There’s a fresh surprise every time we look at his work, like what kind of work will he make next I wonder…

Ah, this one, you definitely want to see this!

Director:

(Fufu, Kazunari-kun really looks like he’s enjoying himself)

???:

--Miyoshi?

Kazunari:

Eh, Sensei!

Art Teacher:

You look great.

We also met in Amabi before right.

Kazunari:

Right!

So Sensei’s coming to see this exhibition too.

Art Teacher:

Yeah. I know that the session only last until today, so I rushed over to see it.

Kazunari:

Sensei too!?

I only remember about the session yesterday, that’s why I rushed over here today.

Director:

(Sensei… Anyway, is he a teacher from Kazunari-kun’s middle school or high school?)

<End of Part 1>

Art Teacher:

Anyway Miyoshi, this person is…?

Kazunari:

It’s the Director-chan from the theatre troupe that I belong to!

Director-chan, this is the one that I’ve talked about before, my art teacher from my middle school.

Director:

Ah, umm…! Nice to meet you, I’m Tachibana.

I’ve heard about you from Kazunari-kun, it’s a pleasure to meet you.

Art Teacher:

Pleased to meet you too.

What kind of story I wonder, I’m a bit shy somehow.

Kazunari:

I only talked about the good stuffs so no worries!

Art Teacher:

Haha, I guess it’s fine then.

Anyway, Miyoshi, so you’re acting now.

Kazunari:

Yeah.

Eh, I never told you before?

Art Teacher:

Too bad, it’s my first-time hearing about it. Talking about that, there’s still this thing when you said that you’ll bring your friends along.

Kazunari:

Ah that! I was wondering when Sensei will be there.

I mean, there’ll be no meaning if I’m going when Sensei’s not there.

Art Teacher:

I’ll always be there, you can come any time.

Kazunari:

Understood, I’ll see everyone else’s schedule.

<Shifts to Dorm>

Kazunari:

Hey hey, this time, can we go together with everyone to my middle school?

Yuki:

Kazunari’s middle school?

Tenma:

Together with us, why though?

Kazunari:

I ended up saying that I’ll bring my friends along to my Sensei, if everyone’s fine with it, I was thinking of going there together.

Sensei’s looking forward to it, I’ll be very happy if everyone can see my painting from that time too~…

Kumon:

Let’s go, I want to go to Kazu-san’s middle school!

Muku:

I also want to see Kazu-kun’s painting from middle school.

Misumi:

Me too~!

I want to see Kazu’s sky painting!

Yuki:

Well, why not.

Tenma:

Yeah, I don’t mind too.

I’m also curious about Kazunari’s painting from that time.

Kazunari:

If I take Tenten with me, I wonder if Sensei’s going to be surprised.

Anyway, Tenten, can you make it?

Tenma:

Well, I’ll go and tell Igawa about it.

I don’t think there will be any issue if I tell him I’m going to a friend’s almamater.

Kazunari:

Thank you! Then, I’ll tell Sensei that everyone from Summer Troupe will be coming.

Director:

That’s great right, Kazunari-kun.

Kumon:

Alright, I’m really looking forward to it!

Misumi:

I’m going to meet Kazu’s teacher, sounds fun~

Muku:

Me too, I won’t embarrass myself as Kazu-kun’s friend…!

Kazunari:

Ahaha, it’s fine for everyone to behave like usual.

Director:

Yeah yeah, I managed to talk to him for a bit last time, he’s a really nice teacher.

Kazunari:

Yep yep, no problem at all!

…Right, Director-chan, why not you come along too?

Director:

Eh, is it fine?

Kazunari:

Yeah. Director-chan is my important person too after all.

Actually, come along!

Director:

Understood, then, I’ll be going together with everyone.

<End of Part 2>

Art Teacher:

Everyone, thanks for coming.

Kazunari:

I’ve brought over the friends I want to introduce to Sensei!

Muku:

Ni, nice to meet you!

Misumi:

I’m Kazu’s friend!

Sensei, nice to meet you~

Director:

Thank you for your assistance on the exhibition the previous day.

Art Teacher:

Ah, you’re the director of Miyoshi’s theatre troupe.

…And then, Sumeragi-kun.

Tenma:

Yes.

Art Teacher:

Rest assured, I won’t say anything about you.

I was surprised when I heard about it…  But as Miyoshi’s friend, I welcome you.

Tenma:

Thank you so much.

Kumon:

Sensei!

What kind of student was Kazu-kun in middle school?

Kazunari:

Eh, Kumopi, don’t just go straight there!?

Art Teacher:

Let’s see… He didn’t talk much, kinda like a very quiet boy you know.

It feels really strange if you look at Miyoshi now.

Yuki:

For us, a quiet Kazunari is the weird one.

Tenma:

He has been like that since the day we met him.

Kazunari:

Yukki, Tenten, don’t look at me with that doubtful eyes!

It sounds suspicious, but it’s really not a lie!

Art Teacher:

Haha. He’s quiet, but there were times when he feels like a student who wants to be noticed.

Like, he actually has the charm that attracts other people to him.

If I look at it that way, Miyoshi’s the same now and in the past, it’s like everyone’s always with him.

Director:

Kazunari-kun’s surrounding is always lively, I also think that Kazunari-kun has that appeal.

Kazunari:

Sensei, Director-chan…!

Art Teacher:

Anyway, you came to see these too right?

Kumon:

Oh, this is the rumored paintings!

Misumi:

It’s the sky and the rainbow, so beautiful~!

Kazunari:

Haha, that’s so nostalgic~ …I said that I want everyone to see them, but if you look at them this way, I’ll be embarrassed.

Yuki:

As usual, there’s a huge gap between the creator and the product.

Ah, but if it’s the old Kazunari, I think he fits the image of this painting.

Kazunari:

Yukki, somehow I sense the thorn in your speech…!

Muku:

But, I like this painting of the rainbow.

It’s not just pretty, when you look at it, there’s that sense of positivity embedded on the painting.

Kazunari:

I see… Hehe.

I think I painted it with the hope that one day I will have a lot of memories that I want to portray through my painting.

Tenma:

But, the you right now have a lot of memories that you want to paint right?

Kazunari:

--Yep! It keeps coming too!

…Sensei, everyone. Is it alright if I have a bit of your time?

I feel like drawing right now!

Art Teacher:

Ah, I don’t mind.

If that’s the case, you can use this canvas.

Muku:

I’m looking forward to Kazu-kun’s painting!

Misumi:

I’ll be searching for triangles while waiting~

Yuki:

Kazunari, just draw as you please.

Kumon:

Yeah, I’m excited~!

Tenma:

I’m looking forward to it.

[

[

Choice 1: I want to see what kind of memories that the current Kazunari-kun will draw

Director:

Me too, I want to see what kind of memories that the current Kazunari-kun will draw.

What kind of painting will it be I wonder.

Kazunari:

I’m drawing it so look forward to it!

Maybe I just increased the hurdle myself.

Director:

Ah, but I’m sure no matter what kind of painting it is, it will be wonderful like Kazunari-kun.

Kazunari:

Director-chan…

Hehe, Director-chan’s word just now made me feel like drawing even more.

]

]

[

[

Choice 2: Kazunari-kun, you can keep drawing  until you’re satisfied

Director:

We’ll wait for you, so Kazunari-kun, you can keep drawing until you’re satisfied.

Kazunari:

Thank you, Director-chan.

I’ll try not to take so much time.

Director:

While waiting, I think I’ll get Sensei to tell us about Kazunari-kun’s story from middle school.

Kazunari:

Eh~ That’s a bit embarrassing. There’s really nothing to talk about…

But… I’m happy to hear that Director-chan wants to learn more about me!

]

]

Kazunari:

Sensei and everyone too, thank you!

Then, please wait a minute.

(The me from that time, didn’t really have any memories of himself, and he wasn’t able to draw any memories into a painting—

But the me right now, I can draw as many memories as I want.

The sceneries that I want to draw, there are a lot of them…!)

<Short Time Skip>

Kazunari:

I’m done!

The time’s limited, so it’s pretty simple though…

Muku:

Woah, this painting…!

Kumon:

It’s us and Director, amazing!

Misumi:

Kazu, you’re great~!

Tenma:

It’s a painting that shows our relationship, even through the canvas huh.

Yuki:

You’re saying something cheesy again…

But, this painting’s not bad at all.

Director:

It’s really such a wonderful painting!

Thank you, Kazunari-kun.

Art Teacher:

…Miyoshi.

Your painting’s much better than back then.

Kazunari:

Hehe, thanks to everyone!

Because everyone’s here, that’s why I’m able to draw like this~

Ah, I’m not satisfied yet!

Hey hey, next time, let’s all draw together!

Kumon:

Let’s do it!

Muku:

Woah, I wonder what I should draw…!

Director:

(Fufu, it looks fun, exactly like the painting that Kazunari-kun just drew.

I’m glad that everyone from Summer Troupe came here)

<End of Part 3>

#a3! #a3! act! addict! actors! #a3! translation #kazunari miyoshi #a3! backstage

[mysterious-prophetess]

Thoughts on who and what Hisashi Midoriya is

A while ago, I did a post where I speculated about everyone’s favorite absent father with my three ideas about who he is and what he is based on the little that we know about him.

1) Inko said he breathes fire

2)He obviously makes enough money for Inko not to work and get Izuku All Might merch

3) He and Inko are on good enough terms that the one time she has a sort of mental conversation with him, it’s wistful and not bitter.

4) He’s such a non-entity in Izuku’s life that whenever he thinks he’s going to die against Muscular, he thinks about his mother and All Might, but never his father.

5) He has a job working abroad. 

6) His name is a pun on the term “hisashi buri” or “it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you” and his name’s kanji is the “ku” in Izuku’s name, which is also the part of Izuku’s name that is homophonous to “9″/”kyu”

As of the most recent chapters, this is all we know about him.

Now, I don’t feel like digging through my blog to find that old post but the theory on it I listed as most likely based on manga evidence played into the trope “When you coming home dad?” 

In that post I mentioned that I thought it was the most likely, and that I hoped not because it bored me. 

Here’s why. 

I’ve seen it in far too many anime and video games and at the moment he’s apparently playing that trope straight despite twisting and inverting all other common tropes. 

Yeah, shitty parents do exist-and yeah I know culturally there is a different attitude. 

However, if you don’t cross your own child’s mind as they fear dying, you are a shit parent. Period. 

I see people say shit about Mistuki Bakugo and while her parenting isn’t top-notch, she still is there for her son and wants him to be his best and not the overly puffed up version created by everyone worshiping him and his quirk. 

So far, the only time Izuku’s actually in the manga referenced his dad was indirectly when he was talking to Kouta about how he tried to see if he had his mother or father’s quirks. 

Inko is the only character who ever directly talks about his father and so far, that’s only TWICE. 

I’m not saying his dad should be his focus or anything, but the fact that his father is such a nothing to Izuku and his life is both odd and kind of upsetting. Especially since, like I said, this is playing that trope way too straight whenever so far, the manga’s been soooo good at presenting things in such a way that it does show another perspective. e.g. Izuku’s overly self-destructive tendencies which we see in so many other shounen heroes are shown here for the dangerous habits that they are and exemplified in All Might. 

Again, the fact his dad is so far removed from his life that he might as well be dead, doesn’t have to be dwelt upon, but if your parent is absent a lot, it should come up in your own headspace, especially whenever you’re down or depressed about something. Like, say, being told you can’t be a hero without a quirk or something. 

It just bugs me. I never liked this trope once I figured out these various anime and manga characters who’re missing a parent weren’t missing them because they were dead but working overseas and never coming home. For instance, in Yu-Gi-Oh! I always thought Yugi’s dad was dead because he and his mom (who has only ever appeared once) lived with his grandpa. Later I found out that his nameless dad just worked overseas.

I know it’s a different cultural attitude, but it still does something to a kid to have a parent perpetually absent. 

Horikoshi has promised Hisashi’ll appear, and despite my favorite theory not being this, I do think thematically Izuku’s dad being just a salaryman who works so much he might as well be a ghost to his own family, does fit more with Izuku’s journey. It doesn’t mean I have to like it because everyone has their own tastes. When we see Izuku’s Dad, for once, in the future, it’ll settle a lot of speculation about the man.

Who knows, perhaps it’ll be this but Horikoshi will write it in a nuanced way. He is definitely a skilled enough writer.  The rest is just fun stuff. The serious speculation and thoughts are over.  Keep reading if you want to see some babbling about the theory I have the most fun with.

My bolding was probably not subtle, but I love Dad for One as a theory because the Star Wars parallels and Horikoshi is a huge Star Wars geek.

Thematically, it’d line up too. All for One on two separate occasions created his own down fall: One for All (the Quirk) and Izuku. 

All Might is mentoring the son of All for One where as All for One is mentoring Shigaraki. 

As previously mentioned in a different post about his name, if Shigaraki is All for One’s family name, when paired with Hisashi, it becomes a pun:

A Long time Death Grip. 

Though...now let me go further. 

On the surface, Izuku’s name only has one element that invokes the number theme of the wielders of One for All. Ku which is the same kanji as Hisashi. 

So. Let’s go further. I think Inko’s name was always Midoriya and when they got together, he took her name to keep them safe and separate.

Therefore, let’s look at what sort of name Shigaraki Izuku would be. 

First, there’s Shigaraki which has the elemetns of “hand,” “tree,” “death,” and “grip” in it. Which is why I personally choose to call it “death grip”

now the “ku” of Izuku’s name can be read as a homophone to “9″ but it is still the same one used for “Hisashi” which means it can mean “a long time ago” or (as the wiki lists) “old story.”

The “Izu” is more interesting. 

It can mean “coming out/being from a certain place, one's turn to go on"

now the given name alone is pretty symbolic when it’s broken down like this.

If we use “old story” for the ku kanji’s meaning and “one’s turn to go on” 

as a phrase, Izuku’s name means “one’s turn to go on in an old story” as Izuku being the 9th One for All bearer is taking his place in an old story. 

Now if we pair that with Shigaraki, or “death grip” as this weeb is interpreting it, it’s a harder combination but it can work if we read Izu and Ku in the other ways that are possible. Which could be “Coming out of a long time death grip” 

Or Izuku escaping his father’s legacy whether he knows it or not. 

OR Izuku came from the one who has had the long time death grip.

Anyway. That’s all I’ve got for now. 

Except for this last bonus bit: my personal favorite name for the first OfA

Shigaraki Kazuki. 

Name can mean “Death grip on one hope” with the “Kazu” of “Kazuki” being able to mean “one”. 

#hisashi midoriya #midoriya hisashi #theory #with bonus dad for one #bnha #mha

[fieryanmitsu]

Since I saw that you like ikemen series as well I was wondering 👉🏻👈🏻 who do you think from the ikemen series would get along with each other? Like Sirius and Tsumugi tending to a garden together :3

Hi there Nonnie~ Oh man, that’s not something I’ve ever thought about, but now that you mention it… My mind is now on overdrive, HAHA! I was just going to throw around some thoughts off the top of my head, but before I knew it… it kinda blew up into a super long and full blown headcanon about what would happen if Mankai Company got transported to Cradle?!?!

I’m sorry, you were just asking me such a general question about the Ikemen series in general, but I ended up going on a huge IkeRev ramble. Anyway, here’s my long and convoluted headcanon of who I think would get along with each other between the main cast of A3! and Ikemen Revolution!

This got so out of hand and is ridiculously long, haha. Feel free to just skim for the bolded headings, which state who I think would be paired well together. But if you want, you can read the rest of my nonsense! Hope you enjoy this train wreck, haha!

MANKAI COMPANY IN CRADLE! (an A3! x Ikemen Revolution crossover headcanon)

CHARACTERS: All Troupes from A3! (plus Izumi) and all suitors from Ikemen Revolution (plus Alice)

My fanfic masterpost: Here

Prologue

On the night of the full moon, (another) mysterious door opens up at Mankai Company. Matsukawa discovers the room first. When he finds out that the door opens into a into a giant gaping hole, he freaks out and calls Izumi over to examine it.

When Izumi goes to check it out, all of the actors get curious as well and follow. However, when Izumi leans over to try and look down into the hole, Matsukawa accidentally knocks her into the hole and she falls in.

Masumi and Sakyo are the first to try and jump in after her, but they end up struggling with each other to see who should go first. Omi and Tsuzuru try to break them up, but all four of them end up falling in during the scuffle.

As he falls, Tsuzuru reflexively reaches out and grabs the closest thing to him, which happens to be a quaking Tenma, and the Summer Troupe leader gets dragged down with him.

The rest of the Autumn Troupe don’t hesitate to jump in after their oldest members to try and help them out.

Itaru and Sakuya are concerned, but much more cautious about whether they should just blindly jump down the hole. Itaru thinks they should call the fire department instead.

Citron says that they have to find a way to save their friends, but that, in such a drastic situation, it would be better to “jump first and think later.” Itaru says: “I think you mean to say ‘look before you leap’.” Citron’s response is: “No no no! I mean exactly what I said.” And then Citron, without any remorse, shoves both Itaru and Sakuya into the hole and dives right in behind them.

Misumi thinks they’re playing a game after seeing Citron dive right in. Thinking that there might be triangles in the hole, he shakes Hisoka awake (since Hisoka is good at jumping, so he should come with him). Hisoka miraculously wakes up long enough to be dragged into the hole with Misumi (and still has no idea what’s going on even as he falls).

Homare tries to save Hisoka, but ends up tumbling in after him.

Muku and Tsumugi are in a panic as they see their fellow troupe members falling into the hole. They’re beside themselves with what to do and somehow settle on: “We need to go after them!” They scrunch up their eyes and leap before they can think better of it.

Tasuku and Yuki yell to stop them, but it’s too late. They can’t believe what’s happening – has everyone lost the last of their brain cells?!

Azuma laughs at the absurdity of the situation, and claps both Tasuku and Yuki on the shoulder. He smiles at them serenely and just says: “Well, this kind of thing doesn’t happen every day, we may as well join the fun, right?”

“NO, THAT’S A TERRIBLE IDEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!”

Kazunari is the last one left, but only because he’s been filming it all on his smartphone so that he can upload it to his Instablam later. He gives the camera a victory sign before he steps off backwards into the hole and screams as he falls (but that red light keeps blinking away).

Matsukawa faints from the shock.

The whole Mankai Company arrives safe and sound in Cradle, somehow, but they happen to crash land into a joint Red and Black Army tea party being held at the Civic Centre to celebrate the recent peace treaty.

It is absolute chaos considering a group of 21 people suddenly fell from the sky, but with Blanc’s help they sort out the situation.

Blanc informs them that there’s some kind of bizarre once-in-a-hundred-years astrological phenomenon that has made the boundaries between Cradle and the Land of Reason even more unstable than usual, and that’s how the portal between the worlds had opened so suddenly. Luckily, according to his almanac, the portal will open again at midnight (rather than one month later) and the Mankai Company actors and director will be able to get back safely at that time.

Until then, the Red and Black Army decide to graciously host their guests for the day until the portal opens.

[THE REST UNDER THE CUT]

Alice and Izumi

It might be because they’re both “main characters”, but Alice and Izumi get along right away. Alice is the first to strike up a conversation since it’s been a while since she’s met another young woman close to her age.

Izumi feels more relieved after talking with Alice and learning that she is also from the Land of Reason.

The two young women end up finding out that they have a lot in common – especially when it came to their appetite. When Alice finds out that Izumi loves curry, she offers to take her to one of the local curry restaurants in Central Quarter (which serves a curry quite similar to the ones in London).

Izumi is full speed ahead and they’re gone before the Mankai boys can even notice she’s missing.

Ray and Sakuya

Sakuya and Ray hit it off right away. Sakuya tells Ray all about Mankai Company and how they are actors. Ray’s love of reading and books extends to plays as well and the two start chatting about the different plays that each world has.

Ray offers to show Sakuya some of the plays in his library collection and the two end up going back to the Black Army headquarters.

Sakuya happens to have their latest script in his pocket (since he had just been reading it before the whole incident happened) and lets Ray read it. Ray is captivated by Tsuzuru’s script and devours it.

In Ray’s room, Sakuya meets Belle and is instantly in love. He adores cats and has the time of his life reading through plays and exchanging thoughts with Ray as Belle purrs away in his lap.

Fenrir, Kazunari and Taichi

Fenrir’s friendly demeanor immediately catches Kazunari’s attention and the two mesh instantly. Kazunari is excited about everything, and Fenrir is completely raring to show off his amazing home to the newcomers.

Taichi feels a bit overwhelmed by everything that’s happening around him and doesn’t quite know where to turn first. Fenrir, used to looking out for the newest recruits, catches on to this instantly and puts a hand on Taichi’s shoulder and introduces himself. He immediately asks if he wants to come along with him and Kazu to check out the town.

The youngest Autumn Troupe member instantly brightens at this thought and agrees enthusiastically. For some reason, Taichi reminds Fenrir of Shu Shu, and Fenrir takes an immediate liking to the younger boy.

The three of them set out on the town and Fenrir takes them to his favourite haunts all around Central Quarter. While out in town, they even find an interesting toy that’s similar to a yo-yo and Taichi shows off his skills. Fenrir turns it into a competition. Kazunari becomes an impromptu emcee and narrates the entire competition to the amusement of nearby citizens.

Kazunari also shows Fenrir his phone and shows him how to take selfies. Fenrir doesn’t quite understand the technology behind it, but seeing his image show up immediately on the screen amuses him to no end and the three of them end up snapping photos all around the Central Quarter.

Seth and Yuki

Seth immediately takes notice of Yuki because of his cute looks and fashionable outfit. The 10 of Spades compliments Yuki, but Yuki isn’t impressed – of course he’s cute, that was a given.

Yuki only gives Seth the time of day when Seth adds: “You put even girls to shame!” It wasn’t often that someone picked up that he was a boy right away.

Seeing Yuki open up, Seth immediately invites Yuki to go shopping with him. Seth hasn’t had the urge to dress someone up this badly since Alice came into their lives and he just knows that Yuki would look absolutely adorable in Cradle’s latest fashion.

Intrigued by the notion of seeing this foreign country’s clothes, Yuki agrees to go with him. They spend the entire day going from store to store admiring and trying on different outfits.

Seth ends up buying Yuki a huge bag of cute outfits and fabrics for him to take home as a gift (paid out of Sirius’ wallet – but he didn’t know that yet).

Luka, Muku and Omi

Muku is too shy and intimidated to talk to anyone, so he just hangs out along the sidelines. But, the poor boy hadn’t eaten lunch yet when the incident happened and soon his stomach grumbles so loudly that Luka, also standing quietly nearby, hears it.

Never one to leave someone hungry, Luka grabs a plate of some of the dainties leftover from the tea party and offers it to Muku.

The pink-haired boy is flustered at first, but his hunger overrides his embarrassment. As soon as he takes the first bite of a scone, he’s amazed at the taste. It was just as good as Omi’s – maybe even better!

In fact, Omi happened to be within eyesight, and Muku immediately calls him over and has him try some as well.

Omi is very impressed and wonders if he could somehow talk to the chef who made this, because he’d love to exchange recipes and ideas.

At this point, Luka is blushing because the two actors have turned their attention to him for a response. He quietly admits that he was the one who had baked for the tea party that day.

Before he knows it, he’s somehow taken Omi and Muku back to the Black Army’s headquarters and they spend the rest of the day exchanging recipes and cooking a gigantic dinner feast (with Muku as their cute assistant) for everyone to eat.

Sirius, Tsumugi and Sakyo

Sirius ends up talking to Sakyo after seeing Sakyo yelling at Banri and Juza to stop fighting. He offers his condolences to Sakyo and says that he sympathizes with him – he’s got his own crew of rowdy children to look after, too.

They end up venting to each other about all the trouble they have to deal with and find kindred spirits in each other. Of course, they also end up bragging about their “kids” too, but they would never admit that.

Nearby, Tsumugi is automatically attracted to the flowers in the Civic Centre gardens and can’t help admiring them. He is practically falling into the bushes, he’s so excited.

From where he’s standing with Sakyo, Sirius sees this and asks Tsumugi if he’s interested in the flowers. Tsumugi replies enthusiastically that he is and Sirius, happy to see someone so interested in gardening, offers to show both him and Sakyo around the gardens more.

Sirius ends up taking them around to his family’s flower shop as well once they finish their tour of the Civic Centre garden. Tsumugi is asking him questions at a mile a minute while Sirius’ siblings pester Sakyo with questions about the Land of Reason.

Eventually they return to the Black Army headquarters and all pitch in to help Luka and Omi finish making dinner and set the tables.

Jonah and Juza

Juza doesn’t really understand too much of what’s going on, but he’s immediately attracted to all of the leftover desserts from the tea party. When he thinks no one is looking, he sneaks a plate and shoves the dessert into his mouth. The sweets are one of the best he’s ever had and he can’t stop eating them.

Jonah spots him sneaking the desserts and confronts him when he realizes that all of the leftovers are gone. He’s furious because he had wanted to eat some, too.

Juza blanches when he turns around and comes face to face with Jonah. He knows that this man is important, and ends up looking at the ground and apologizing for eating all of the desserts, but that he couldn’t help it because the best desserts were the best he’s ever had.

Jonah had meant to scold him, but the second he hears Juza’s compliments about Luka’s baking, he immediately goes into a tirade: “Of course they are the best desserts, my dearest Luka made them after all.”

Jonah determines that Juza is clearly someone who has good taste and it really would be a waste to let him go home without trying more of Cradle’s sweet delicacies. Also, Jonah still hasn’t satisfied his sweet tooth.

He orders Juza to follow him and ends up taking him around to all of his favourite dessert shops in the Central Quarter. The Queen of Hearts is quite pleased with his company, since Juza listens quietly to everything he says and always nods in agreement. He supposes that he could adopt him as another little brother for the day and buys him many boxes of desserts to bring home as a souvenir.

Kyle and Azuma

When the formalities end, Kyle immediately yells out that he wants to go for a drink. He tries to ask Blanc and Oliver to go with him to Oasis, but they’re both occupied with talking to the newcomers and he’s ignored.

Kyle is about to resign himself to drinking alone when a soft voice interrupts him and asks: “Did you say you were looking for a drinking companion?”

Kyle isn’t picky and is ecstatic to find a new friend to drink with. He immediately leads Azuma to Dum’s bar and grabs them seats at his usual table. Kyle orders his beer and Azuma starts off with a bottle of red wine.

The wine in Cradle tastes completely different from the wine he’s had before, and Azuma soon orders glass after glass of different wines. Kyle’s just happy to have such an enthusiastic drinking buddy and offers to pay for it all (since Azuma didn’t have any money he could pay with anyway).

It doesn’t take long for Kyle to get completely sloshed, but Azuma finds him to be a very cute drunk. The actor enjoys listening to Kyle’s drunken rambling since it made for boisterous and cheerful company.

At one point in the evening, Azuma is surprised to see that Banri is suddenly the one serving him his wine, but the Autumn Troupe leader just shrugs and saunters off to serve another table.

It was hours later when Fenrir, Kazunari and Taichi stumble upon them and they all head back to the Black Army’s headquarters together. Kyle has to be carried on Fenrir’s back the entire way.

Edgar and Itaru

Even though his phone has no signal, Itaru wasn’t bothered for once, because being transported to another world was the epitome of every nerd’s highest fantasy. He can’t help himself from examining everything around him – you never know if there’s a hidden item somewhere, after all.

Edgar finds Itaru’s behaviour to be curious and keeps an eye on the other man who is scrutinizing everything in detail. Eventually, he sneaks up behind him and asks: “Are you looking for something?”

Itaru jumps, but quickly covers up his surprise and gives Edgar one of his classic disarming smiles and just says that he’s fascinated because they’re in a different world.

Edgar is impressed by Itaru’s composure. He’s a bit suspicious of him, because he was obviously hiding something beneath a very well-made mask, but decides that this makes him very interesting. Since he was bored, he decides that chatting with Itaru will be quite fun.

Edgar soon finds out that Itaru is hungry and takes him over to the food table, but they find that there’s nothing left (which is odd, since he remembered there being a lot of leftovers). He catches Itaru sigh and mutter under his breath: “Man, even a bag of chips right now would be good.” Hearing a familiar word, Edgar asks: “Chips? Do you mean fish and chips?” Itaru looks at him with wide eyes and says: “Huh? Fish and chips? I guess we must be in an AU England.”

Edgar has no idea what half of those words mean, but the two soon find out that they both share a love of junk food and the Jack of Hearts takes Itaru to sample various junk food around the Central Quarter.

Itaru also greatly enjoys just walking around the town and admiring every aspect. Edgar often catches him muttering incomprehensible words under his breath, but shrugs it away.

Eventually they return to the Red Army’s base and run into Zero and Masumi. It’s at this point that they discover something else they have in common: they both enjoy mercilessly teasing their colleagues.

Lancelot and Citron

Citron immediately picks up on Lancelot’s regal aura and can’t help but scrutinize him silently. He wonders what kind of king he is, especially with such a stoic face.

Lancelot awkwardly tries to ignore the strange man staring a hole into his head and eventually turns to look at Citron and asks him if he can help him with anything.

Citron is surprised because he didn’t expect the other man to talk to him. Caught off guard, Citron spins an elaborate story about how, in his country, calling out to another person in public is a rude greeting and, instead, one must communicate your intentions through headwaves by staring at the other person until they sense your presence.

Lancelot, gullible as he is, immediately believes Citron and apologizes for not understanding his culture and asks if Citron can tell him more. Citron doesn’t miss the curious glimmer in the other man’s eyes and, soon has Lancelot hanging onto his every (unbelievable) word – though Lancelot sometimes has problems understanding exactly what he’s saying.

At one point Citron speaks about how he has a pet leopard, to which Lancelot replies: “Ah, I understand. I have a pet lion.”

Citron is immediately captivated and instantly demands to meet Shine. Lancelot ends up taking him back to the Red Army’s base and they spend the next few hours playing with Shine.

Zero and Masumi

After losing sight of Izumi, Masumi loses interest in everything and ends up being dragged along with Citron back to the Red Army base.

Zero follows his King and returns with them as well. Once they get back, Zero resumes his afternoon training drills with his soldiers.

Masumi, with nothing else to do, ends up taking a seat in the garden and watches Zero’s training. As he watches, he realizes that Zero’s stances and fighting look really good and he tries to memorize his movements in the hopes that he can use it to improve his stage fighting skills. After all, if he gets even better, then Izumi will give him more compliments and maybe she’ll even reward him with a date.

As soon as Zero dismisses his men, Masumi goes up to him and demands that he train him too.

Zero is surprised at the sudden request, but seeing Masumi’s determined face, he decides to go along with it.

The two of them spend the next several hours training with practice swords and Zero is impressed with how quickly Masumi picks up on his instruction. He thinks that Masumi is a bit odd, but very earnest and can appreciate how much effort he is putting in.

Though he hadn’t intended to, Masumi ends up enjoying himself more than he expects. Zero is a patient teacher and he finds the exercise invigorating.

The fun ends, though, when Edgar and Itaru return and start messing with them. Edgar remarks that they could be twins considering the identical scathing expressions on their faces.

Blanc and Tsuzuru

Somehow or another, the Red and Black Army officers had all trickled out of the Civic Centre along with several Mankai Company members.

Tsuzuru, Tenma, Misumi, Tasuku and Homare realize that they are the only Mankai Company members left behind. Even their director was gone.

Blanc notices that they are unsure of what to do and graciously invites them over to his home for a rest and some tea.

With no other option left to them, the remaining Mankai Company members follow Blanc and Oliver back to their home.

As they walk through the Central Quarter, Blanc informs them that he is the record keeper of Cradle. This immediately catches Tsuzuru’s attention. Once he realizes that this means that Blanc observes and records the events of all that happens, he immediately starts bombarding the white-haired man with questions about his writing techniques.

When they get to Blanc’s home, Tsuzuru ends up spending his day poring over Blanc’s records, devouring ideas and writing styles. Blanc happily answers his questions as he pours the scriptwriter tea and cuts him carrot cake.

Blanc and Tsuzuru are too distracted to realize that, on the way to Blanc’s home, they had actually somehow lost every other member of their party except for Oliver and Tasuku.

Oliver and Tasuku

While walking back to Blanc and Oliver’s house, Tasuku can’t help but scrutinize the technology and machinery around them. He immediately picks up that there is no electricity and that the lamps are not powered with the usual means he’s seen in the Land of Reason.

He unconsciously remarks on this out loud and Oliver is impressed, as he hadn’t expected any of them to notice this. Seeing Tasuku’s curiosity, Oliver explains to him how Cradle’s technology primarily runs on magic crystals.

Tasuku’s love of machines immediately takes over and he and Oliver are soon deep in discussion as the taller man asks question after question.

Oliver finds Tasuku to be forthcoming and intelligent, which was a pleasant change from his usual air-headed company. When they arrive at Blanc and Oliver’s home, Oliver takes Tasuku to his workshop and shows him the various gadgets he’s been working on.

Tasuku is absorbed right away and even helps Oliver with some of his repairs, picking up quickly on the unfamiliar technology.

It’s not until the sun begins to set that he realizes he hasn’t even bothered to eat or drink. It’s also at this point that Tasuku realizes that it’s been much too quiet and that this is because they are missing many (noisy) members of their party.

Dean and Homare

Homare follows the others as they head to Blanc’s house, but as they walk through the Central Quarter, he becomes quite taken by his surroundings. Everything is so different and beautiful, and suddenly he is hit by inspiration.

He stops walking and recites a poem, quickly jotting it down in a notebook before he forgets his genius. However, when he looks up, everyone is gone and he’s alone.

Not one to let the situation get him down, he follows his instincts and wanders about the Central Quarter until he finds a bookstore. He walks in and is captivated by all of the new books that he has never seen before.

At one point he reaches out for a poetry book and bumps into someone who was reaching for the same book and comes face to face with Dean.

The professor had been looking for new books for his lesson planning. He hadn’t expected someone else to be in this bookstore, which was off the beaten path.

Dean strikes up a conversation with Homare out of curiosity.  What he thought would be passing casual conversation turns into an hours-long poetry seminar courtesy of Homare.

Dean somehow can’t find the willpower to get away – Homare’s poetry was bizarre and morbidly fascinating.

Eventually he finds out that Homare is lost and leads him to Blanc’s house, where they arrive just in time to see the others preparing to come out to look for them.

Loki and Misumi

As soon as they had exited the Civic Centre, Misumi was immediately distracted by all the things – after all, there must be tons of new triangles to find in this new place. Before anyone can stop him (and Banri tries), he shoots off into the crowds and leaves everyone in his dust.

It isn’t long before he catches his first triangle: “Gotcha, triangle kitty~”

It turns out that the triangles were the ones attached to the top of Loki’s hood.

Loki is alarmed that someone has managed to sneak up on him as he was playing with his cat friends. Intrigued by this stranger, he asks Misumi where he’s from and Misumi explains, while playing with the cats around them, that he and his friends fell out of a giant hole in the sky.

Before Loki can ask any more questions, Misumi declares that he’s going to go hunt for triangles and that the Triangle Kitty should come too, because he’s sure that he’d be great at it.

Loki doesn’t understand what a triangle hunt is supposed to be, but decides that since his cat friends trusted Misumi, then he can’t be that bad of a person. Not to mention, he was bored anyway since Alice was occupied with that stupid boring tea party and Misumi looked like he could be a great source of entertainment.

They end up running around all of Central Quarter and eventually end up in the Forbidden Forest. There they run into Harr, along with someone else that Harr had bumped into, and they all head back to Blanc’s house together.

Dum and Banri

Banri tries to chase after Misumi when the other boy suddenly broke off from the group. However, he soon loses him and finds that he has also lost the main group.

Grumbling to himself about his bad luck, Banri accidentally wanders into a back alley and gets cornered by a couple of thugs who try to rob him.

Banri wants to beat them up, but notices that they’re carrying knives. Instead, he tosses a nearby flowerpot at them before he books it down the alley.

They cause quite a ruckus as they dash through the side streets, and Banri quickly ducks into an open doorway and hopes that he can hide until he’s sure he’s lost the thugs.

Turns out he had dashed through the back door of a kitchen and comes face to face with Dum, who is not amused by some street rat running onto his turf.

He’s about to kick Banri out, but Banri begs to let him stay for a bit since he’s trying to lose the thugs (he can hear them yelling outside). Dum reluctantly lets him stay, but tells him he needs to work for it.

At first, he tells Banri to peel some potatoes, but Banri negotiates with him to let him help out at the front of the house instead (since peeling potatoes was boring).

Dum finds Banri’s sassy attitude to be amusing – and also picks up quite quickly that he’s from the Land of Reason. He gives Banri a chance and the actor soon charms all of the customers into buying extra food and drinks. At the end of the night he just gives Dum a cocky “I told you so” grin.

When Fenrir and company arrive to tell them about the dinner feast plans, Banri tells Dum that he should come along as thanks for helping him out. Since it was a weeknight anyway, Dum decides to take him up on the offer – this boy was proving to be very amusing and it wasn’t every day that he was presented with such an interesting opportunity.

Harr and Tenma

Tenma panics when Misumi, Banri and Homare get separated from them. But, the streets are crowded and he realizes it’s no use to try and find them when he didn’t know where he was going. Instead, he focuses his attention on following Blanc, Oliver, Tsuzuru and Tasuku.

However, as they pass through a busy market, the crown jostles him away from the others and he soon loses them in the crowd.

He tries to remain calm as he makes his way through the street and even asks for directions to find Blanc’s house – the old ladies at the stalls were especially nice about helping him.

However, even though he’s sure he followed their directions properly, he soon finds himself walking through a forest and it’s dark and eerie and – did he just hear something?!

Tenma screams when he feels someone clap a hand on his shoulder. He spins around and sees a strange face with a mask and, thinking he is seeing some kind of ghost or monster, he runs away deeper into the forest. He bursts into a clearing, but trips and ends up falling straight into the lake.

Harr had been taking a walk through the woods when he had seen the young man, looking clearly lost. Seeing him fall into the lake, he quickly runs over and pulls him out of the water.

Tenma is shaking like a rain-soaked kitten, so Harr leads Tenma back to his home to dry him off.

At first, Tenma is too scared to say anything and only manages to start talking when Harr offers him a lollipop. Tenma scoffs that he isn’t a child, but he takes the lollipop anyway and puts it in his mouth.

Harr smiles – he’s reminded of how Loki was when they first met. It seems he’s good at picking up stray cats.

Eventually, Harr figures out the situation and offers to lead Tenma back to Blanc’s house. Tenma clings to the back of Harr’s coat the entire way, looking around furtively and jumping at every shadow.

On their way, they run into Loki and Misumi. They arrive at Blanc’s just in time to see the record keeper receiving a message from a Black Army messenger.

Mousse and Hisoka

Taking advantage of the hubbub, Mousse sneaks off to sleep under a tree in the garden (making sure that Jonah didn’t spot him).

With no marshmallows in sight, Hisoka felt his eyes beginning to close. Before he completely lost consciousness, he saw a figure sprawled out under a tree. He thinks that this must mean that it was a designated napping spot – why else would there be someone sleeping there?

Thankful for this discovery, Hisoka stumbles his way over over to Mousse and curls up on the soft gross. The tree provides the perfect amount of shade and the flowers there smelled just as nice as whatever Azuma used to scent his room. It didn’t take long for Hisoka to drift off.

He doesn’t wake up until Homare and Tasuku (along with the white-haired bunny man) come to find him.

The man next to him also wakes up at that time. He non-chalantly turns towards Hisoka and says: “This is a great spot for a nap, isn’t it?” Hisoka responds with a nod.

Epilogue

Ray had sent messengers to the Red Army and Blanc to inform them that they had prepared a feast at the Black Army’s headquarters for their guests, so everyone eventually trickles into the Black Army’s base by the time dinner starts. 

Some unexpected guests also pop by, but no one particularly minded.

Everyone enjoys the feast prepared by Omi and Luka. Even those who had been eating beforehand found their appetites returning at the sight and smell of the delicious food in front of them.

After the meal, everyone says their goodbyes to the new friends they made. Even though their time together had been short, everyone would treasure the memories of their experiences that day.

Blanc, Alice and the two Kings lead the Mankai Company back to the Civic Centre’s rooftop garden. As predicted by Blanc, there was indeed a giant hole in the ground.

Bidding their farewells one last time, the Mankai Company jumped through the hole, and after what felt like minutes of falling, they finally saw a blinding light rushing up to meet them.

Moments later, they all tumbled out onto soft green grass in a giant pile-up.

After an exciting and unbelievable day, they were finally back home. 

FIN

To anyone who stuck around through this entire thing, thank you for reading, haha! I hope you enjoyed this random bit of nonsense! I still have three routes to play, so hopefully I didn’t mess up anyone’s personalities (especially with the new characters as I don’t have much knowledge of them yet)!

I think that there could be a lot of other character combinations that would get along with each other, but I wanted to make sure that each main character from A3! and IkeRev were featured, so these were the combinations that I ended up with without having to compromise too much!

Thanks for dropping such a fun topic into my inbox, Anon!! Hope to see you around again!

-Anmitsu

#a3! #a3! game #a3! act! addict! actors! #ikerev #ikemen revolution #a3! x ikemen revolution crossover #crossover #anmitsu writes #anmitsu chats

[romancandlemagazine]

An Interview with John Lurie

Whilst most humanoids struggle to master even one useful skill in life, John Lurie is one of those adept rapscallions who can seemingly turn their hand to pretty much anything — from acting to angling.

This knack has led to a fairly stacked C.V. which involves such notable achievements as forming a rule-flouting jazz band called The Lounge Lizards, appearing in films like Down by Law, Paris, Texas and Wild at Heart and showing his paintings in exhibitions all over the planet.

And if all that wasn’t enough, he’s also hosted his own fishing show, and, with the help of Dennis Hopper, once came particularly close to snagging the elusive giant squid.

Here’s what he had to say about fishing, New York in the '70s and the importance of humour in the world...

First question… your television programme Fishing with John is mint. How did that come about?

I was threatening to do it for a long time, but wasn’t really serious. I would go fishing with Willem and we would video tape it. I flew out one New Year’s Eve to play with Tom Waits and the next day we went and fished with Stephen Torton video taping it.

This woman, Debra Brown, saw the tapes, home movies actually, and brought them to a Japanese company that was looking to get involved in things in New York.

She came back to me and said they wanted to make a pilot. I believe my response was, "Are you kidding?"

When you watch a film or television program, you only see the end result. What was it like filming that thing? Were there any mad struggles?  

If you see something good, you can just assume there were mad struggles. If you see something bad, you can assume that people were too lazy to take on the mad struggles.

If I am flicking through the channels looking for a movie, I can tell you in five seconds if a movie is going to be any good by the sound of the door closing or the light or the music or whatever.

Why do you think people love fishing so much?  

First off, so we can go to these beautiful places and pretend to be doing something. We wouldn’t go if there were nothing to do. And there is that visceral thing. A big fish on the line is like that exhilarating sports thing, like hitting a baseball perfectly or shooting a basket and the net just goes swish.

And then there is that thing of the world of mystery, right next to the world we are living in. What is in there? We are only going to be aware of what is there with a hook and a nylon string.

So of course we have to drag this amazing creature out of the water and kill it because human beings are pretty much ridiculous. The last bit is not why we love fishing, it’s just an observation.

I’d say it’s a pretty sharp observation. Did you ever face anger from the fishing community due to the lack of more conventional fishing?

Yes.

Why isn’t more television like Fishing with John? I hear we’re supposedly in the age of ‘peak TV’ or whatever, but why is there so much boring stuff out there?

The great thing about this, and a big shout out to Kenji Okabe from Telecom Japan, was they left me alone. I am fairly certain that the reason Breaking Bad was so great was because they left Vince Gilligan alone.

With most projects there are all these people meddling with what you do, to ruin it. The Gatekeepers. It is almost like there is a conspiracy to maintain mediocrity.

Going back a bit now, am I right in saying you’re from Minneapolis originally. What were you into as a child?

At first, dinosaurs and archeology. Then reptiles, particularly snakes after we moved to New Orleans. I was going to open my own snake farm. Then I was pretty sure one day, I would play center field for the Yankees.

An attainable dream. You moved to New York in the late 70s, and not long after, you started The Lounge Lizards. It seems like New York at that time is glamourized a bit now, but what was it like for you? What food did you eat? Where did you go at night? What streets were good to walk down? What did it smell like?

I was trying to remember the food I ate back then and couldn’t remember. I was pretty broke most of the time. They used to serve hors d’oevres at gallery openings and cheese became a large part of my regular diet.

Almost every night, or maybe not even “almost” — more like every night — we went to the Mudd Club. More than what streets were “good” to walk down, I can tell you which streets were bad to go down. I lived on East Third St across from the Men’s Shelter, so my block smelled of rotting garbage and urine.

What are some bits that people don’t talk about from that time? What sucked about back then?

It went fairly quickly from people having more relentless fun than any period in human history to a fairly grim time, a year or two later. There was the beginning of AIDs. I had many friends who were dying or horrifyingly sick. People were getting strung out. There were many deaths. Car accidents. People fell out of windows.

Also, with the artistic promise that was there, the output is disappointing. I suppose the wildness led to a lack of discipline and the work wasn’t nearly as good as it should have been.

I might be wrong, but it seems like at that time people just did what they felt like doing… people made films, music or anything else, with no regard for budget. I suppose for example, you made a film called Men in Orbit in your apartment for $500. Where did this freedom come from?

The freedom came from a ferocious demand to have that freedom at any cost. But it is odd or sad, because the more talented of those people seem to have gone unknown and the people who are now household names are, mostly, the ones who played the game by the rules from the beginning.

Do you think people nowadays get too hung up on money? Or perhaps too hung up on success?

I think people nowadays for the most part are quite lost and afraid. So they do whatever they think they must do to have a successful career, even if it means that they are making shit — and it usually does mean they are making shit.

The Lounge Lizard’s album, Voice of Chunk is an amazing record. What sort of stuff were you listening to when you made that? And who is Bob the Bob?  

The listening came from earlier in my life. Evan and I would devour everything. From Stravinsky to Monk to Little Walter to Coltrane to Tibetan music to Ellington to Dolphy to Pigmy music (you get the idea).

Later, when working on my own stuff, I stopped listening to pretty much everything. Though when I was in Morocco doing Last Temptation, I played a lot with Gnawa musicians that shifted me a bit. And around that time Evan discovered Piazzolla.

Bob the Bob is Kazu from Blonde Redhead. That is her mouth on the cover of the record. I still call her Bob.

You’re a prolific painter. Are there certain things that you notice recurring in your paintings?

I live on a small Caribbean island. There are flowers everywhere. I don’t like to think that they influence what I paint but they do. Fucking flowers.

A lot of people paint when they’re young, then stop. Why do you think that is? How come you didn’t stop?

The best paintings I have seen in the last 30 years or so are the ones taped to refrigerators. I don’t know why people stop painting or when they don't stop, why the painting gets so stiff.

I am sure my mother, who painted herself and taught art in Liverpool where the Beatles went, but not at the same time, had something to do with me keeping a freedom in my work. To not be afraid of that childlike dream thing.

Though it has been suggested that it may be time for me to get in touch with my “inner adult.”

How do you know when a painting is finished?

I ask Nesrin. If she says it is finished, I know it isn’t.

You seem like a pretty funny guy. Do you think humour is sometimes underrated? Do people take stuff too seriously sometime?

I think humor is immensely important. I think humor can shift society’s consciousness in a better way than almost anything else. So from Shakespeare to Mark Twain to Lenny Bruce to Richard Pryor and many more - these people shifted things for the better.

Do you know who was president when Mark Twain was at his peak? Benjamin Harrison. Who the fuck was Benjamin Harrison?

What are your thoughts on the internet? It seems like it’s a big thing these days.

I get so disappointed with people because I feel like social media could be an enormously positive thing for the world. And I certainly don’t mean to exclude humor, just I have heard enough fart jokes for one lifetime…

Something that bothers me quite a bit, is a star athlete gets hurt and then the response on places like twitter is close to joy. What kind of bitterness about your own life would make you behave like that?

You’ve just recently released a new Marvin Pontiac album after 17 years. This one is called The Asylum Tapes, and was reportedly made on a four track recorder in a mental institution. Back story aside, what made you want to make an album again?  

I have Advanced Lyme, so I was unable to play anything for a long time. Actually because of what was happening to me neurologically, I couldn’t even hear music for the first few years — it was more like fingernails on a blackboard.

As I slowly got better, I was able to play guitar and harmonica again, though playing saxophone would seem to be done for me in this life.

But I am very proud of this album and hope people get a chance to hear it. I made it to cheer people up.

Are people still confused about who Marvin Pontiac is?

I suppose so. He is a character I created to make this music. I suppose that is bad marketing, but fuck it.

Would the album be different if it was a John Lurie album? Do you feel like you can get away with more stuff as Marvin Pontiac? Or maybe what I mean is, is it easier to say some things as Marvin Pontiac?

Yes, absolutely. Marvin gives me a certain freedom. I doubt I would put out a record where I sing about a bear saying, “Smell my sandwich.”  But I’m happy that I get a chance to do that.

The lyrics are pretty straight up and direct. Do you sit and stew on songs and ideas for long, or do you just get it out?

Often they just come straight up. Like 'My Bear To Cross' I pretty much just came up with it live in the studio. Some took quite a while. And there are a couple where I never found the right lyrics to finish off a song and put them aside.

Okay, last question… do you think a lot of stuff is too over-thought and over-prepared? Does thinking sometimes get in the way?

Let me think about that.

#John Lurie #Lounge Lizards #New York #Jazz #Interviews

[vmohlere]

More Infinite Coffee Q&A

@musings-on-bucky-barnes​ had some more questions from last year’s Q&A, and after AGES of procrastination on my part, here’s the first set of answers. Also on Ao3.

·         When does Pepper teach Bucky to wink?

 I have no idea! That’s not one of the little details that my brain bothered to supply.

 Or perhaps he saw her do it (to himself or someone else) and decided to copy it.

 Very possible! Barnes definitely watches Pepper closely, because he considers her a reliable source for acceptable social cues.

 ·         Reactions of the Tower residents and other friends when Bucky recovers enough to start grinning and winking? (We know that Natasha said it makes him look epically hot!)

 Pretty much the universal reaction to being grinned at by Barnes for the first time is being stunned and maybe a little turned on. Barnes doesn’t bring out the flirting that often – most often with the Olds and the folks at the Lucky Carp, because of his comfort levels – but Barton and Sam flirt with him pretty shamelessly, trying to get him to smile. Hill has been known to save up a particularly juicy smart comment so she can make it in front of him. And Tony would deny it forever, but once Barnes laughs softly at something during arm maintenance, he ramps the Tony Show up to 13 to try to make Barnes laugh again.

 And also what about flirting at and with Steve? Lucky Steve would get the full force of it when they’re together.

 Prior to Upgrade: Advanced Happiness Skills, Barnes only flirts with Steve when it’ll cause maximum embarrassment and/or make Steve drop something heavy onto his own foot.

 ·         The reactions of the others to Steve and Bucky being together? We get to see the main Avengers and the Olds react, but not Pepper, Maria, Bruce, Katie, Peggy and the Carp clan.

 Hill yells at them for ruining No-Touch Valentine’s Day, but come on – you know she’s delighted. Especially since their timing meant that neither Barton nor Tony won the betting pool for how long it would take. (Pepper won, because she picked the date Nat told her to).

 The others might complain that the bet is then null and void because Nat had insider information ;)

 Who would dare complain (to her face)?

 Mr. Hayashi blinks at them for a minute, until Kazue fusses at him for being old-fashioned.

 How does he then react?

 Oh, he’s fine, just momentarily surprised.

 Katie cries with happiness, and Steve’s a sympathy crier, so that’s a very damp conversation.

 Bruce notices. Eventually. (Nah, I kid – all the Tower residents saw this coming miles and miles away.)

 So that means that they are good at keeping their poker faces, as Bucky says in Advanced Happiness Skills that none of them (apart from Nat) noticed and that they appeared to be morons. (Which could mean that HE was so happy and distracted that he was actually the unobservant moron!)

 Correct.

 Sadly, I’m not sure that the Peggy in this world would be mentally together enough to hold onto the news. But her objective was always that Steve be safe and happy.

  ·         Steve and Peggy’s relationship - how it was affected in the period after Bucky’s ‘death’?

 I don’t have anything for this. Just thinking about it makes me so sad, though.

It is ironic that Bucky remembers more about Steve’s sex life than his own, like Steve & Peggy in the room in Lyon. Poor Bucky…

 Oof, his own sex life has a lot of stuff he didn’t want to remember, so he walled off all of it.

 Steve’s reactions to knowing that Bucky loved him and was jealous of Peggy

 Capt. Compartmentalization took that knowledge and tucked it very far back in his mind, bringing it back only when he wanted to torture himself by feeling guilty about it.

                 Will Steve and Bucky discuss Steve’s feelings/guilt about how he felt he let Bucky down during WW II?

 Oh, sure. They live for a very long time, and eventually, they talk all of it through.

  ·         Other Tower residents & Olds after Bucky has been shot

 Widespread frantic worry. There’s a phone tree for updates. Barton remembers to add the Hayashis to it.

 Steve’s reactions to wounded Bucky’s ramblings – including the ‘you’re my favorite person’ comment

 Well, you know, Buck was just as high as a kite there, couldn’t be held responsible for anything he was saying, and there definitely was no teeny tiny little part of Steve that had been in love with Bucky Barnes since he was 15 years old that was 100% thrilled.

 ·         Does Bucky ever run into Tyler and Dale again? Or they recognize him on TV when the media realize Bucky is alive/helping the Avengers?

 Oh man, I don’t know. I have thought about The Dale & Tyler Question a number of times, and I haven’t ever been able to decide what the funniest option is.

 ·         Bucky’s next birthday – will he be recovered enough for a big birthday party of his own?

 No, but I’ve just decided this minute that they rent out the Carp for the evening and have all the mission-assists for dinner. Barnes has to sit with his back to the wall near the front door, but he loves it.

 ·         What made you decide to do Steve’s POV? It was the first look at Bucky from the outside in this series.

 That section rose up and demanded to be written and fell out all in one lump. The only thing I changed while revising was to rearrange it a little. I really loved writing Steve’s voice.

 ·         Tony’s reaction to someone apart from himself doing something risqué/scandalous (the skinny dipping)

 He hates it, of course! While secretly loving it. Incapable of having a straightforward emotion, that one.

 ·         Solo trips to the Carp by other Avengers

 Oh, sure. They’re very good for that place’s bottom line. And Nat visits the Olds on her own.

 ·         It seems that Ollie’s honey Wayne died not long before Ollie encountered Bucky for the first time. How did the Olds all meet? Did they know Wayne?

 That must be so, given the way I mentioned things, but the timing wasn’t deliberate. Esther and Lidia had both lived in the building for several years, moving in when it was a much less dire place, and neither could afford to leave once it started getting bad. They were “nodding neighbors” until O’Reilly bought the place and started using it for nefarious purposes, and then they clung together for safety. Ollie moved in because it was what he could afford. They took one look at how sad he was and adopted him.

 Eventually, all three of them move to California, because the NYC winters get to be too much for their joints, and Ollie’s family is so happy to have him more active in their lives, and they don’t want to be separated. Barnes is NOT a fan of the plan, though it’s what ultimately makes him stubborn about learning to make air travel okay.

 That makes me sad and happy in equal measure. Tony would probably offer to do something whiz bang to the building’s heating, but a permanent move to warmer climes makes sense (and he and Pepper would make sure they got a great home). Hopefully Cat Eleanor likes her new home!

 Yeah, they are all really happy in California. Ollie’s family takes them all in with open arms.

 ·         Use of first names/surnames/nicknames and the importance of choice of which.

Like how you mentioned in a Tumblr post that you were very specific in Bucky’s use of Rogers, Steve and Stevie. And there is also how he only seems to prefer to let Steve say ‘Bucky’.

 Using a first name is a sign of intimacy for Barnes. Surnames keep people at arm’s length – or, in Hill’s case, are a sign of recognizing one as an equal.  His using “Steve” or “Stevie” means that it’s a moment of the programming losing power.

 And yes. Only Steve can call him “Bucky.” Only the Olds can call him “Jimmy.” He thinks of himself as “Barnes.”

 ·         How quickly did it take the Olds to realize that their mysterious new neighbor was Bucky Barnes?

 A couple of weeks.

 ·         Any more snippets of Cat Eleanor being her glorious cat self with the boys?

 Oh man, I wish I had one for you, but I don’t.

 They do eventually adopt their own cat, though, after the Olds move. His name is Jack, and he’s a hideous old grey thing with one eye. He and Barnes are devoted to one another. Jack tolerates Steve as a second-class roommate.

 ·         In ‘This You Protect’, you mention that Barnes is somewhat of a prude when Steve trolls him by singing rude and yucky songs. Is that a feature of old Bucky or new Barnes or both?

 Barnes

 Bucky thought all those songs were hilarious.

 ·         Recently you gave an intriguing one line summary about your original novel – please repeat that and tell us a bit about the genre, what stage it is up to, why you decided to write it.

 oh jeez.

 Did I say it was about a lady and her six werewolf boyfriends? I’m working on my query letter now, and I don’t know whether it’s urban fantasy—with—romance or paranormal romance, because marketing labels are a mystery unto me, but it’s full of jokes and people being dumb about their own emotions and baked goods. It’s definitely a coffeeshop AU, plus lots of boning.

 It’s not high art, but I had a ton of fun writing it.

 Honestly, I wrote it because I got mad at a bad fic (non-MCU) and decided I could do better. I will NOT link the fic.

 ·         Tell us the story behind your choice of that Battle of the Planets art for your icon.

 HA! I loved that cartoon when I was a kid. But mostly that picture just makes me laugh every time I look at it – it’s so cheesy. There’s something about the pose and the facial expression that I find hilarious, and I’ve used it for long enough now that it would be weird to change it.

 xXx

#ICaPD #Infinite coffee #Barnes #This You Protect #owlet

[justgenlockthings]

gen:VIEW Episode 2, “There’s Always Tomorrow”

Rooster Teeth knows how to make a premiere that packs a punch when it comes to their serialized dramas (yes, I’m including Red vs. Blue in that category). But it’s the non-premiere episodes that generally give you a better idea of if the show’s gonna be good or not.

Or maybe you’re someone like TheFloofArtist and you were predisposed to hate the show long before you even saw it and so found literally every possible reason to hate it from the 2nd episode and dramatically “dropped it” despite the fact that if you hated the show so much you were shitting on it without having seen a single episode your opinion was never gonna be considered valid.

(Why do grown men throw hissy fits about TV shows?)

Ahem...so. Episode 2 of gen:LOCK...

Let’s Get Down To Business

Where episode 1 was about establishing the relationship between Chase and Miranda, this episode seems to be about establishing the gen:LOCK program itself: how it works and who’s gonna be in it. For that reason, at least for the first half, it’s very expository, but not in a way that ever feels boring. Honestly, the longer episode lengths means the amount of time they spend standing around and talking doesn’t feel like vital time wasted, unlike RWBY which has often made that terrible mistake. This is information we need to get a basic understanding of how this program works, and we also get a chance to hear Dr. Weller passionately talking about his life’s work. Jesus christ, David Tennant gives such a good performance. He really sells the good guy mad scientist voice you expect from Dr. Weller.

I wasn’t entirely sold on Michael B. Jordan as a voice actor the previous episode, but even if at certain points it was clear we were watching a scene that hadn’t been initially animated to his voice, this episode convinced me things were gonna be fine. I loved his performance in the scene of Julian in the tank chatting with Migas: the sort of bittersweetness of the reunion between the two after all that had happened to them, but they were still glad to finally see each other again. Miles Luna deserves some praise too for helping sell the fact that this is a reunion. After all, even though we caught a brief moment of them interacting and joking around in Episode 1, we didn’t really have a chance to establish they were close friends. This scene does well to convince us that yes, they were friends, and they are relieved to see each other again.

Chase and Miranda’s situation was very well-handled in this episode. It was always going to be painful for Miranda to find out Chase was still alive, and even though it’s perfectly logical that Chase wasn’t able to reach out to her in the intervening years, it still isn’t something she can just brush over. She didn’t immediately jump at the chance to see him in-person, and actively avoided him for a day. It would have been a major mistake for her to be the first one who went to visit him. I love this whole situation with Miranda: the way the marketing was going you kind of expected just a bland character defined by her relationship with Chase, and, well, I guess what she does in this episode is sort of defined by the relationship, but it’s done in a way that’s actually interesting, where you actually care about how she feels about all this. Dakota Fanning does a great job conveying the hurt Miranda feels seeing someone she loved after so long who she’d given up for dead. I think she might easily be the third best voice actor we’ve heard so far, behind Monica Rial and David Tennant.

Here’s another case where one of my few pre-show expectations got subverted. From the character teasers I’d sort of expected us to get a depiction of the formation of the gen:LOCK program from the start: presumably that path would have followed Chase and Yasamin’s initial training and the early mech designs we saw in the early posters and the first two teasers. Of course, this was before I had known what they were planning with Chase’s crash, a path in the story that I could not have possibly predicted. And now I’m realizing why they didn’t do that: 1) it would have been too similar to RWBY and probably have made for a very slow show otherwise, and 2) they wanted to get right into the giant mechs fighting things. Sure, it sort of robs us of seeing some cool stuff about what it was like for Chase to join the program, but I figure we’ll get that depicted in flashbacks or in the comics.

One of the accusations regarding Kazu Iida was that having him speak Japanese while everyone else was speaking English would create “The Lopez Effect.” For those unaware, Lopez is a robot on Rooster Teeth’s show Red vs. Blue who speaks “Spanish” (really sentences run through Google Translate) that is translated for the audience via subtitles but no one else can understand. Now, for what the complain actually entails, I think “Lopez effect” is a bad term for it because Lopez’s situation is played for laughs while in gen:LOCK everyone understands Iida and doesn’t bat an eye. The complaint is more that it creates a tonal dissonance in what’s designed as a dramatic show: while everyone’s speaking English Kazu’s saying all his lines in Japanese with subtitles. Now, I can understand why that could all sound a little weird, but the thing is the way they set things up in the episode I really don’t think Iida speaking English is gonna be as distracting as one might think: they set it up where the characters can understand what he’s saying thanks to the augmented reality gear everyone seems equipped with, so that already established a method of communication, and I just didn’t give any thought to the fact he’s speaking Japanese for the rest of the episode. I would honestly be more bothered if he just spoke English all the time.

The other accusation is that the fact that he is the only character who speaks a foreign language was they’d have an excuse to get the voice of Spike Spiegel, which apparently is bad because it’s “weeb-baiting.” I’m sorry, I didn’t realize they were trying to draw audiences in with who they were casting...

As far as the new gen:LOCK recruits go, we didn’t get too much information about them, and this is probably the only issue I have with this episode. Still, there was a lot going on here, so I can forgive not learning everything about them in their first appearance. And the thing is, the sequence with the imposter Sinclair (bravo to Blaine Gibson for being able to flip a coin––heheh––from friendly recruit Sinclair to Evil!Sinclair) offered us a good glimpse into who they are as fighters. Especially in recent years, Rooster Teeth fights are a chance to really get an idea for the character (and for that I wholeheartedly thank Monty Oum) and how they handle dangerous situations. Yasamin is clearly someone who can jump into a fight and hold her own without hesitation, Iida is someone who will jump right into a fight, Valentina will keep her distance but can still be quite deadly, and Cammie is a scared little bean...who with a little encouragement can still be helpful.

Now, the Sinclair reveal was a slight bit predictable if you picked up the hints in Character Reveal Teaser 4 (which I hadn’t, and in retrospect was blatantly obvious). The fact that it was predictable was the source of derision by some of the more gen:CRIT crowd, but honestly? I don’t see predictability as a sign of whether something’s good or not. Things can be predictable and still be fun to watch, so long as it’s delivered in an entertaining manner. And we got a pretty awesome fight sequence out of it.

I’ve seen a few people say that the jokes in this show feel forced. I’m inclined to disagree. The type of humor Gray and Evan are employing in the writing is more grounded than the kind you see in RWBY or Red vs. Blue or Camp Camp: it’s designed to feel more natural to the conversations these characters are having, while also not taking attention away from the more serious aspects of the story. Most of Rooster Teeth’s core group (more recent additions less-so) know how to create an engaging story based in serious tones, but they never really stray from their comedy roots––Day 5, their most dramatic venture to date, was a lot funnier than the concept would’ve implied because Josh and Chris knew where to inject humor when it would be desperately needed. This episode isn’t very different: the drama of Chase basically coming back from the dead gets natural moments of levity from his and Migas brief Siege mention and Dr. Weller being disappointed that he couldn’t participate in the reveal; the tension between Chase and Miranda gets a moment where Miranda refuses to hear out Migas on visiting Chase, a moment that can draw laughs while also being realistic to her and Chase’s actual situation; Chase popping up behind Fake!Sinclair and saying “Boo,” which...actually that was more a legit joke, but I laughed really hard. What I mean to say is gen:LOCK is not trying to be a comedy, but Rooster Teeth knows how and when to make its audience laugh.

(save for Red vs. Blue Season 16 of course...)

Conclusions

Another solid episode of gen:LOCK, and a little more interesting one than “The Pilot” because it delves into the meatier stuff that this series is going to follow. Stellar vocal performances by the cast give us a sense of the relationships that need to be picked up in the four years since the war began, and some amazing fighting shows us gen:LOCK means business as an action series.

My only concern is that the way this episode is formatted it doesn’t quite stand on its own in the way “The Pilot” did, but the fact that it was released alongside “The Pilot” worked in its favor, since both episodes give us a good ground to establish what this show is looking to do, and hopefully further episodes will follow on that.

I’ve said enough about people who were predisposed to hate the show commenting on this episode, but I wanna say this also: people. We are two episodes in. The show premiered less than a week ago. There isn’t a whole lot of content to draw from to know where it’s going. Be a little more patient.

#gen:lock #gen:lock spoilers #gen:lock analysis #gen:lock reviews #gen:VIEW #reviews #analysis

[closetofanxiety]

Beyond Wrestling: Americanrana 18

I got home after 1 a.m. today and woke up at 6 a.m. Then it was a full day of home improvement stuff. I’m tired. I’ve got ice on my bad foot. But I have some thoughts and impressions about the hottest US independent wrestling show of, uh, the month of July, at least. 

Big crowd: This was Beyond’s biggest live gate of all time, and at the same time the most-watched live stream in the young life of Powerbomb TV, AND the single event responsible for more new subscribers than anything else they’ve shown so far. At the venue, a Polish-American club in Worcester with oil paintings of the Old Country on the walls, people were berserk for almost everything that happened during the night. I don’t know how it came across on TV (or whatever, screen, I’m talking about watching it on a screen), but people were loud and excitable. Dan Barry got the biggest reaction Dan Barry has possibly ever had. People reacted to the surprise appearance of Anthony Green  like he was Mike Bailey, and they reacted to the surprise appearance of Mike Quackenbush like he was Steve Austin. It’s so much fun to be with a crowd of people who are just going nuts for professional wrestling.

Final appearance: Matt Riddle had what is almost certainly his last-ever Beyond Wrestling match, getting pinned by Nick Fuckin Gage during a tag match that pitted Gage and Matt Tremont (the New H8 Club) against Riddle and Filthy Tom Lawlor. It’s wild to think that a year ago he was putting his undefeated streak on the line in the main event at Americanrana 17, and this year he was in a mid-card tag match where he ate a pin. He’s headed for big things, though. Gage is great as the fan favorite, thanking people for willing him onto victory, and looking genuinely delighted when he got the pin. Awkward moment: the crowd, excited at the announcement that the winning team was now called “the New H8 Club,” started chanting “C-Z-Dub! C-Z-Dub!” despite Gage having gone over to bitter rivals GCW and Tremont wrestling his final CZW match on Saturday night. Just chant “Nick Fuckin Gage! Nick Fuckin Gage!” Speaking of which ...

Working blue: This was the sweariest Beyond Wrestling show I can remember for some time. They had pregame interviewers with Wrestling Social Media Personality Alicia Atout in front of a fancy Beyond/Powerbomb backdrop, and Janela and ring announcer Rich Palladino, of all people, kept using the word “fuck” like a comma. Kids in the room, gentlemen! 

Unpopular Opinion #1: I like intergender wrestling a lot, but in order for it to become a normal part of pro wrestling, promotions and wrestlers have to stop loudly drawing attention to the fact that THEY AREN’T AFRAID TO HAVE INTERGENDER WRESTLING, DAMN IT. The opening match on the show was a terrifically fun four-on-four pitting Team Pazuzu against “Team WWR”: Kimber Lee, Jordynne Grace, Mia Yim, and Skylar. It was fun and crazy, as you’d expect from that cast of characters, and Skylar did a good job of keeping up with wrestlers who are much more experienced and established than she is. But then after the match, Chris Dickinson cut a promo about how HE RESPECTS THESE GIRLS SO GODDAMN MUCH AND INTERGENDER WRESTLING IS HERE TO STAY. Good! I like that! But the more you act like it’s some remarkable anomaly, the more people are going to treat it like that. It’s just another variety of match, like tag team wrestling.

Oh, also: There was a GREAT moment in the match where Dickinson was about to give Jordynne Grace a Pazuzu Bomb, but she was saved by Kimber Lee, who then stared Dickinson down. This was a callback to the spot in Beyond years ago where Dickinson waffled Lee with a chair and then hit her with a crazy Pazuzu Bomb in a clip that went viral and gave both of them some not-entirely-wanted exposure to the wider world. The crowd, happily, recognized this immediately and went APESHIT. I loved it!

Loco spotfests: There was an announced four-way tag match with Team Tremendous, the Gentlemen’s Club, the Beaver Boys, and the recently renamed Massage Force. There was also an unannounced Chikara showcase, with Solo Darling, Fire Ant, someone working a “Dasher Hatfield’s kid” gimmick, and Quack himself against a Dungeon of Doom-esque cast of characters. Also Travis Huckabee. I honestly groaned when I heard “Chikara showcase,” but they tore down the house. Quackenbush may be a guy who talks like Darril and wants to turn wrestling into TED Talk fodder, but he’s one of the most important US indie wrestlers of all time, and I had never seen him wrestle in person before. At one point, a sea creature or maybe the Gimp or someone picked Quackenbush up by his feet and heaved him backwards over the rope, and he sailed higher and farther than any person I’ve ever seen launched out of a wrestling ring. It was just a hugely fun match, and the four-way tag managed to top it. There was no “storytelling” or “psychology” in either match, and honestly, that’s fine for a big-spectacle show like Americanrana. Just have a bunch of talented people come out and do stuff they don’t normally do in a show, and go wild.

The plot thickens: The big news from the four-way tag is Dan Barry’s betrayal of beloved partner Bill Carr (there was a loud, enthusiastic chant of “Bill Carr fucks! Bill Carr fucks!” after the big man launched himself through the ropes. “Oh my God, I love it! I love it, you guys!” he yelled back. He is like a big happy golden retriever and it’s impossible to think negatively about him). Betrayals don’t always work on the indie level, and I’ve seen my share of partners turning on partners that are greeted with shrugs by the crowd, but people went NUTS after Barry screwed over Carr. A louder, more sustained negative reaction than I’ve ever heard in Beyond. Should be a hot feud! In further plot twists, MJF was injured and couldn’t wrestle Gresham in their blowoff, so Trent was drafted as a surprise Dream Team member. The match ended in a DQ and Gresham roughed up Stokely Hathaway while MFJ watched helplessly from the outside. THIS SETTLED NOTHING. Presumably. 

Unpopular Opinion #2: I think PCO’s run as the TV veteran who has inexplicably become an indie darling is nearing its conclusion. I also think that run does not sit as well on PCO’s shoulders as it would Gangrel. It should be Gangrel out there, getting the big paydays and the crazy receptions from crowds. PCO does not have a lot in his toolbox, if I’m being honest. He had a sloppy, overlong match with Brian Cage that was full of blown spots and awkward pauses. Let’s all focus on Gangrel from now on. 

A new favorite: I’ve done a total 180 on “Hot Sauce” Tracy Williams, who used to bore me to distraction. I really like him now. I think it’s because I’ve heard him on commentary a bunch, and he reminds me of friends who lived in squats and punk houses in the 1990s but who now live in Brooklyn and have respectable jobs in the low six figures, but who are still capable of smashing a bottle in the face of a Nazi skinhead. 

Mayhem: What can I say about the main event, a no-ropes barbed wire death match between David Starr and Joey Janela, to settle a feud that’s been simmering on and off for years? It was extremely violent and bloody. It lasted 22 minutes but felt like 10. Starr won, and cut an absolutely searing promo afterward, calling Janela “a glorified stuntman” who only came to prominence because someone else made goofy Internet videos about him; seriously, it’s one of the best promos I’ve heard an indie wrestler give. Bile and bitterness from a man covered in his own blood; there would be no Triple H Handshake of Respect between these two gladiators.

Grace notes: This was the most efficiently run Americanrana I’ve ever attended. The doors were supposed to open at 6:30, and they opened EARLY. An indie show! This was good, but it trapped one of my friends outside, because he had gone to a bar, assuming it would take forever to get inside the building. I mean, he made it in eventually, he just had to wait at the back of the line ... There was a nice shoutout to Dominki Dijakovicokowiczogonov, gone but not forgotten from Beyond: during his match with AR Fox, Anthony Greene did the Feast Your Eyes and hit Dijakulakovich’s poses while the crowd chanted “Feast Your Eyes! Feast Your Eyes!” ... Chuck Taylor hit a Rainmaker during the four-way tag match and screamed “This one’s for you, Little Kazu!,” which is a reference to an ongoing Twitter joke that I’m almost ashamed to have recognized ... I bought a hat from David Starr and we talked about the need for national healthcare, which is a conversation topic that wouldn’t work with most wrestlers .... I don’t know why or how they do it, but Americanrana really feels special. Everyone seems to raise their game for the show, and the fans are really in a holiday mood. It’s not a show I ever want to miss ... The crowd went from skepticism over the Chikara wrestlers - one guy grunted, “Fuckin’ Vince Russo gimmicks” when the bad guys came out - to joyous acceptance, capped when the same guy yelled at the sea monster character, “Look at this big green bastard! How’s he able to breathe on land?” ... One of my favorite parts of the day was sitting in the bar downstairs while they broke down the ring and set up the barbed wire. Just seeing a bunch of the wrestlers relaxing and enjoying themselves, having a (non-alcoholic) drink with my friend Mike, enjoying the air conditioning on a summer night: this was a good night ... after the show, we stopped at a service plaza on the Masss Pike to get some unhealthy snacks and use the bathroom, and on our way in we passed Solo Darling. “Great match tonight,” we said. “Thank you!” she said. On our way out, we passed a much less happy Solo Darling as she walked over to the counter to give the McDonald’s people hell. “I distinctly said no cheese on ...” she began, as we hurried out. 

Final thought: There was a 20 or 25 minute break before the main event, where they set up the barbed wire and all that. Mike and I went downstairs to the bar while Mark stayed up in the hall. The first person we saw in the bar, sitting by himself at one end, was David Starr. He was hunched over a glass of water and a shot glass and staring into the middle distance, at nothing in particular. In a few minutes, he was going to walk upstairs and wrestle the most violent match of his career in front of 500 people and you could see the concern on his face as he went over the possibilities: barbed wire, steel chairs, staple guns, cinder blocks, baseball bats. One spot that goes a little sideways and someone leaves the building in an ambulance. That glimpse of David Starr brooding put the whole night - put all of wrestling, really - into perspective. This wasn’t an angle, this wasn’t a promo, he wasn’t in character: this was a man working up the courage to do something reckless and potentially dangerous because he wanted to do it more than anything in the world. It was the look of a man who has willingly taken a great weight onto his shoulders, as many of us have, or will have to one day. It was a wordless rejoinder to all those snide comments about how wrestling is fake: looking at David Starr’s face, sitting alone and being left alone by his friends and peers, his staring eyes showing exactly what he was prepared to do, one thing was clear to anyone who was paying attention - nothing is more real than wrestling.

#Beyond Wrestling #Americanrana #Americanrana 18 #show reviews #David Starr

[emilyplaysotome]

Dating Diaries - Chapter 9 - The Sound of Silence

Inspired by real events, Emi enters the dating world after her long term relationship ends. Determined to move forward, she starts dating and quickly finds herself in over her head.

In case you missed it, here are the previous chapters:

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8

Two weeks into Mako’s trip, I found myself visiting Kyoto of all places. I went back and forth with myself on whether or not I should tell Kazumi I’d be in his neck of the woods.

After a week of silence where he’d some space from me, he’d reached out with one of his very Kazumi-esque messages.

Hope you haven’t frozen your nose

:)

In what was a bit of a fluke for winter, temperatures in Tokyo had dropped unusually low for the season. Everyday before work, I’d bundled myself up before dragging myself to the train and heading in for the day.

Everyday I looked at my phone which was void of the messages Kazumi used to send in which he wished me “Good Morning” and reminded me that I was beautiful. 

The silence served to remind me of how much had changed between us.

Going cold turkey had been hard, but I’d stuck to my guns after muting him and accepted that he hadn’t reached out in any capacity. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I missed our nebulous relationship - perhaps because it had been comforting and familiar in a new era of my life that was anything but.

When Kazu had asked me for space, I figured that he would last 3-4 days which was the longest we’d ever gone without talking. On day 5, I felt a twinge of sadness that he didn’t miss me. On day 6 I was convinced I’d never see his familiar name in my notifications again.

In the past, Yuri often spoke to the fact that Kazu wasn’t the type to let me go so easily, but it seemed that he had somehow let go successfully while something in my heart was still holding on. It was a strange feeling to know that I did not want him (that I had deemed him toxic for me), yet I was still not able to let go. 

And on the seventh day of silence I felt hurt, rejected, insecure, and every ugly feeling that I have tucked away in the recesses of my heart.

On the morning of day 8, I saw his name and I felt that anxious feeling I hadn’t felt for some time. When I saw his message I shook my head at how weird it was (seeing as how most people would have said something along the lines of, “I hope you’re staying warm” and left it at that).

I wrote back the following, and I felt my heart race as I did:

Haha is that a thing people say? My nose is fine! Hope you’ve been well.

No I just invented it.

I’ve been worried and preoccupied with my latest novel.

His words which usually bled with affection towards me lacked that warmth entirely, and I didn’t want to make excuses for the fact that he didn’t seem into me anymore. I didn’t understand why he’d continue to like my tweets, or text me again if he was over me, and somewhere deep in my heart I wanted to believe that I hadn’t been rejected.

It was my ego, not my head that was struggling with letting go.

Sorry to hear that. I missed your weird inventions, so let me know if we can be friends again (as in, if you still want space or if I can text you a bunch). I’m also going to be in Kyoto for work for a couple of days and if you’re around maybe we can meet up. If you’re busy, it’s all good...just let me know :)

I sent the response and it sat in limbo.

The next morning I grabbed my things and headed for the bullet train to Kyoto.

My coworker Masaki was waiting for me on the platform, and as we found our seats he said, “So Ayumi tells me that your boyfriend is Kazumi Kagami.”

“Ayumi is nothing but a gossip.”

“Oh, so he’s not?”

I shook my head no, “We’re friends.”

“Doesn’t he live in Kyoto? Are you going to see him?”

I could feel my anxiety pick up but in an attempt to play it cool I replied as nonchalantly as I could, “I don’t know. Maybe. Why?”

“I’ve got a book of his I’d love to get signed if you wouldn’t mind.”

Masaki handed me one of his more popular novels, and I nodded as I tucked it into my bag without making any promises.

I’d checked my phone that morning and saw that my message was still in limbo, and that new familiar feeling I associated with Kazumi filled my heart. It was a mix of disappointment, sadness, and hurt and it didn’t seem to matter that I logically knew the universe was doing me a solid.

That’s the funny thing about matters of the heart - you can know what’s best but still be hurt by the reality of what is.

That morning I did have a message from someone - Makoto.

He’d sent me a picture from his capsule hotel where he was smiling on the bed giving the camera a little wave. Unlike Kazumi, for the past couple of weeks I’d been surprised by how often we communicated. 

Usually it was once a day or once every two days, and despite his busy schedule he always seemed to find time to write, watch my InstaPicStories, or like something of mine on Tweeter. The attention he gave me didn’t feel manipulative like it did with Kazumi - there was something pure and sweet about it. 

With Mako it felt like we were old friends and as a result I didn’t find myself obsessing over my word choice as I’d done with Kazu - I just felt like another version of myself who was confident, secure, and relaxed. We bantered until one of us stopped replying with the knowledge that we would continue the conversation at some point soon.

I looked at the two familiar names and I thought about how each man represented a version of myself.

As a Gemini the notion of the “twins” is one that I hold near and dear to my heart. I can go between incredibly awkward and incredibly charming at the drop of a hat, just as I can go between being an introvert and extrovert. 

My personality is a complete contradiction, and so much of how I respond to a situation has to do with what twin is currently dominant.

If I were to apply the idea of “like attracting like” Makoto is the perfect pairing for my good twin. My good twin is the twin who I strive to be for the majority of my life. 

She is secure, fun, happy, optimistic, and sees the good in other people. She radiates confidence and her light draws people in.

People like Makoto, and another ex-boyfriend of mine (who was sweet, loyal, and overall one of the best men you’ll ever meet) mirror everything about my good twin. A man who appeals to my good twin draws her out and allows her to thrive. Though he’ll occasionally catch a glimpse of the twin that hides in the shadows, for the most part he’ll see me as my best self.

Kazumi is the man that appeals to my bad twin. 

My bad twin is critical, selfish, insecure, mischievous, exciting, devious, and bitter. She is the one who sits on my shoulder and tells me that nothing I do is good enough and that no one will ever love me. She thrives off negativity and uses bad behavior to validate her negative ego - whispering messages in my ear such as, “He’s not that into you because you’re not as special as you think you are...”

She is meek in the face of conflict, and her insecurity makes her desperate for validation and love.

When she rears her ugly head it is hard to get rid of her, and I find myself giving into obsession, anxiety, and depression - all of which is fueled by her toxic whisperings.

She is not all bad, for without her I would never push myself the way I do. She allows me to be critical of myself in a way that my good twin never could, and has helped me grow as a person in the face of self-imposed adversity.

She is the twin who makes me a perfectionist at work because nothing is ever good enough for her, and when it is good enough for her, people are amazed by what I can do. She is the reason why I was promoted recently, and she is the reason why I’ll be a success in my professional life.

She is the twin who attracts people like Kazumi, who have a deep insecurity within and she thrives off that energy, making me just as insecure in turn. Her brand of fun is excitement and drama and she loves the emotional roller coaster my good twin despises. She luxuriates in hurt and turmoil because it validates all those awful things she likes to whisper in my ear.

And when it comes to matters of the heart, she is everything I never want to be seen as - desperate, weak, and insecure.

While I want to believe I’ve successfully hidden that image from Kazu, I’ll never know. I do know that with Shizuo, he saw all those things and whether he realized it or not, used them to his advantage.

With my bad twin at the helm that morning, I stared at the TalkTime message to Kazu that still hadn’t received a read receipt and wrestled with the impulse to follow up.

In the past, my good twin would have lost this battle quickly but because of all the work I’d been doing lately, I heard her say to me, “Emi...what are you trying to achieve by writing to him?”

“I miss the attention. Why doesn’t he like me anymore?” my bad twin snapped back.

“Why does that matter?” 

“Because! What does it say about me if he walks away?”

“Nothing. Other than the fact he can’t handle a woman who doesn’t cater to him completely.”

“But he used to fight for me - it made me believe that I was one of a kind.”

“You are one of a kind - don’t give him the power to make that true or untrue. What do you want from him?” 

“I want him to want me.”

“For what purpose? Do you want to be his girlfriend?”

Even my bad twin knew that the answer to that question was “no”, and so I resolved myself to letting it lie and put my phone away for the remainder of the ride.

I’d told myself that this month away from Makoto I would work on me, but my bad twin didn’t want to deal with what that meant. I told myself that things were over with Kazumi but my bad twin didn’t want to accept that. I told myself that everything that was cropping up was probably about these two men, but my good twin held me accountable.

Once Masaki was asleep, I pulled out my notebook and started to write another letter I’d never send to the person with whom my unresolved issues further fueled my bad twin’s obsession with Kazumi.

Dear Shizuo,

I’m headed to Kyoto with Masaki (that coworker of mine you were always suspect of [which is ironic now that I’m thinking about it]) for work. There’s a big wedding expo here and we’ll be manning our booth for a couple of days before going home.

Do you remember when we came here for our anniversary?

I do. I remember that was our last happy memory together, and that a month later I’d find out that you were cheating on me. 

Do you know what that did to me? 

Masaki and I are staying at a hotel near Gyoen National Park. I’m worried I’ll see it and cry when I think about being there with you. I’m worried the memories of being happy and feeling good about myself will bubble up and remind me that I haven’t healed as much as I want to believe, and that I miss you even though I know I shouldn’t.

I don’t want to cry in front of him.

I’ve realized that the aftermath of what you did validated that small part of myself who has always wondered if I’m not good enough to be with someone. I gave you the power to dictate how I feel about myself, and I know I need to take that away from you...from Kazumi...but it’s hard.

Are you with her right now? 

Are you happy?

Those questions I know don’t really matter, but that side of me that loves to revel in disappointment and distress wants to know. She wants to punish me for being not enough...but I know that I have to stop her on my own.

- Emi

I wrote several more letters like that over the course of the time I spent in Kyoto. 

Masaki was surprisingly well behaved that trip, and I found myself hanging out with him in the evenings and actually enjoying myself. I realized that once he was away from the rest of our coworkers he didn’t have the impulse to show off and do all the stuff I thought was a bit obnoxious. 

On the first full day we were there, we went to dinner and he caught me checking my phone a bunch. He ignored it at first and then asked me if I was expecting a call which made me realize that I’d been obsessing over the fact that I still hadn’t received a “read” receipt from Kazu.

Against my better judgement (thanks to the second bottle of wine we were currently sharing) I told Masaki the full story about Kazumi (without any salacious details) and was pleasantly surprised when he thoughtfully let me know that he no longer wanted Kazumi Kagami to sign his book.

“I don’t like that he’d do that - even if you were just friends that’s not how you treat someone,” Masaki said softly.

“I agree. It’s why I’ve tried to distance myself, but I still feel sad. I don’t know why...but for some reason I still want his attention and his approval somehow.”

“I’ve been there and there’s no easy way to push through it because your head knows what’s best but your heart just doesn’t want to get on board for some reason.”

“Yeah...” I chuckled, “Maybe I just have really bad taste in men. My last boyfriend cheated on me.”

Masaki smiled at in me in a way that was far softer than any smile I’d ever seen him wear and he said, “My ex cheated on me too.”

“Really?”

“Mmm. And you know...for months I thought about it. I wondered - are they together? Are they happy? Does she laugh about how they carried on together for months before I found out?”

Masaki spoke so quietly that I worried should I breathe too loudly I’d miss what he was saying, and somehow every word he was saying felt important to hear.

“And this one day, a year and half later I ran into one of her friends. We were at a work party, and as much as I didn’t want to talk to her I also knew I couldn’t just run away. I played it like I was fine, you know...that I was doing well...and I asked how she was and how Kana was and she told me that Kana was fine and then very quickly excused herself. Of course, that only made me obsess more...”

Masaki looked lost in the memory, and let out a self deprecating laugh as he continued his story.

“Six months later, I was running in the park and I saw Kana. She was alone on a bench and was reading book. I had this moment where I contemplated just ignoring her and continuing my run but something stopped me from doing that...and so, I approached her. We got to talking and after exchanging a few pleasantries she apologized to me for what she’d done. She told me that after our breakup, she sank into a deep depression which had resulted in her being hospitalized. The day I’d seen her friend, she must have realized that it wasn’t her place to tell me what had happened and so all this time I was thinking Kana was happy and engaged and that the reason her friend ran away from me that night was because she didn’t want to pour salt on the wound...it was just a story I made up. None of it was real...”

Masaki finally snapped back to reality with me, and took another sip of wine before shaking his head.

“My point is that you’ll just never know. Not with Kazu. Not with Shizuo. You don’t know what their real story is and it’s not worth trying to guess. So yeah...it sucks when someone hurts you like that but you can’t live in a story you make up about them. You know? You gotta deal with your own story and what’s there and make the best of it.”

I nodded, taking in everything Masaki had said.

When I’d left Shizuo, he’d begged me not to. He’d followed me out of his apartment after I ended it even though he was only in a towel and in front of all his neighbors he pleaded with me to stay.

Masaki was right - it had never occurred to my bad twin that he might be grappling with the same kind of sadness I was dealing with.

My bad twin was so caught up in being rejected and stroking my own insecurities that I never even thought about the fact that I was telling myself fables about Shizuo and Kazu to avoid looking in the mirror and dealing with my own story.

“Damn Masaki, that was super profound.”

“What can I say? I’m more than just a pretty face.”

We smiled at each other and clinked our glasses before toasting to moving on.

The rest of my time in Kyoto was rather enjoyable and between the Expo and dinner with Masaki I didn’t have time to obsess. It was only that hour or two before bed where the silence was palpable and I started to feel lonely that I thought about Kazu or Shizuo.

If I’m being honest, I guess it wasn’t “them” that I was thinking about but their rejection and how that related to me. My bad twin fought to hold on while my good twin had me writing letters I’d never send in the spirit of letting go.

Even though a battle inside myself raged on for days, I was proud of the fact that I did not follow up or reach out, and that I kept Kazu muted.

With that said, the morning we were headed home to Toyko (aka the 3rd day of my trip) I checked my phone as I always did first thing the morning.

Makoto had texted me pictures from Nagano where he’d gone with a few of his work friends on a day trip skiing. There were some really beautiful shots of the mountain, one of him looking cute in ski apparel, and one of a fancy hot chocolate that he’d gotten at the lodge and he said he wished he could share with me.

The messages made my good twin smile, so naturally my bad one whispered, “Has Kazu read your message yet?”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m not seeing him. He made his intentions towards me clear.”

“But has he read it?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“...But has he?”

He hadn’t.

I didn’t let Masaki know that I’d checked, nor did I talk about Kazumi with any of my friends. There was no point - it had all been said again and again and the only person who hadn’t accepted the fact that it was over was me...

...my bad twin at least.

One week later, I still found myself thinking about Kazumi.

It wasn’t just my bad twin - it was my good one as well. She had been proud of how she’d kept her sister in check, but something in both of them felt unresolved.

As a result, I found myself looking at Kazu’s tweeter feed and saw that in the week he’d been silent, he continued to “like” random tweets of mine. If I knew him the way I thought I did, it was his lazy attempt to keep me at arm’s length while he deliberated over what he wanted. I realized that perhaps the thing that felt unresolved was that I hadn’t established what I wanted - which was access to his brilliant mind and a friendship in which we could chat and not be so emotionally affected by each other.

In the week of silence, Makoto had texted me. Yuri had texted me. Hiromi and Keima had texted me. Even Masaki had texted me.

I realized that when I opened my TalkTime or FriendFind, they were full of people who wanted me around. They were full of friends I cared about and new acquaintances who knew that they wanted to be in my life and made an effort in doing so.

During this time, I spent an entire day cooped up in my apartment, playing video games, reading books, and just doing whatever it was that I wanted, all the while remembering that I really liked the person I was and currently am. 

I wondered why at this point in time, it was not just my bad twin that was thinking about him, but my good one as well. 

I stepped back and realized that my good twin (the one that is secure and values the person I am in this very moment) wanted me to make it known that I wasn’t about to allow myself to be in limbo. She wanted me to know that if Kazumi refused to provide me with the closure necessary for both good and bad twins to move on, I had the power to do it for myself.

It didn’t matter if he read this message or not. 

I was sending it for me, not him. I was sending it so if I were to look back on our nebulous three month relationship one day, I would not feel as if anything were unresolved. I would look back and realize that I had carried myself with dignity, and had said the things necessary in order to establish that I valued myself too much than to waste time talking to a man who was too cowardly to express that he wanted to walk away.

Hey - I just wanted to say that I hope you’re doing ok.

I was debating reaching out again, but I feel as if I need to. I can’t really tell what you want from me anymore. I figured after not hearing from you that moved but then you “like” random tweets of mine which makes it hard for me to forget you. I really hope we can be friends but I don’t want to chase someone who doesn’t want me around. And if you don’t, it’s ok. I’ll miss you but I am still very happy to have met you. So just let me know...I do hope we can be friends. I want to be friends.

I sent it, and then deleted the message in my history. 

I didn’t need a read receipt. It didn’t matter.

He might stop liking my tweets. He might never speak to me again.

That was ok.

My good twin needed to let him know that just because he’d held my bad one hostage for the past few weeks, she was back in the driver’s seat now. She was not going to allow for me to waste my time with someone who couldn’t figure out if he wanted me around.

She wanted me to see that I don’t have to sit and be a silent passenger to someone else’s whims like I was with Shizuo, and now Kazu.

She wanted me to see that you make your own path, you get your own closure, and most importantly you hold fast to the belief that your value comes from within.

She wanted to be friends, and if he didn’t...that was ok.

It will probably make my life easier if Kazumi doesn’t reply, but as is the case with life, I simply don’t know what the final outcome will be.

I don’t know if we’ll be friends or if he’ll disappear into the ether and just be added to the list of “somebody that I used to know”. I am thankful for the mirror he’s held up to me, and for the fact that as flawed as he is, he has served a purpose in my life to help me get through what has been a difficult time.

With Makoto, while I do not know if he’ll stick around, I am thankful that he has reminded me of the type of man who is best paired with my good twin. The mirror he has held up has reminded me of my best self and so, I have worked on and will continue to work on making her even better.

Most importantly, as I move forward I am thankful for the person I am becoming and for those around me who continue to walk beside me as I continue to evolve. They remind me everyday of the things I already know - that I am kind, fun to be around, and deserving of love.

And on that note, the person I’ve realized who is most deserving of my love is me - not either of the men who have taken up the majority of my thoughts over the past few months. 

As I reclaim the person I am, it’s hard to remember that I ever forgot who I was. 

It’s hard to wrap my head around the fact that I once asked myself, “Who am I without Shizuo?”

I know that I’ll have good days and bad, but I feel secure in the fact that the core of who I am is dope as fuck, and that whoever is lucky enough to be awarded the title of my “boyfriend” in the future is going to need to prove that he’s worthy of it...and most importantly, of me.

This is the final chapter of my Dating Diaries. 

To be honest, my initial ending was when I thought it was done with both of them but as life has shown me there is more nuance to relationships if you allow for it. I may do an epilogue but it doesn’t matter - the heart of this story is about finding yourself after a breakup and realizing that your worth does not come from external forces but within.

In the words of RuPaul, “If you can’t love yourself how the hell are you gonna love someone else - can I get an amen!”

If you liked the story, I hope you’ll share it and if you’re feeling really generous I hope you’ll consider buying me a coffee!

Thanks for reading and hope you got something out of it!

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#makoto morimachi #Kazumi Kagami #my last first kiss fanfic #my last first kiss #liar! uncover the truth fanfic #voltage fanfic #Voltage fan fiction #voltage fan

[newstfionline]

Japan’s Rent-a-Family Industry

By Elif Batuman, The New Yorker, April 30, 2018 Issue

Two years ago, Kazushige Nishida, a Tokyo salaryman in his sixties, started renting a part-time wife and daughter. His real wife had recently died. Six months before that, their daughter, who was twenty-two, had left home after an argument and never returned.

“I thought I was a strong person,” Nishida told me, when we met one night in February, at a restaurant near a train station in the suburbs. “But when you end up alone you feel very lonely.” Tall and slightly stooped, Nishida was wearing a suit and a gray tie. He had a deep voice and a gentle, self-deprecating demeanor.

Of course, he said, he still went to work every day, in the sales division of a manufacturing company, and he had friends with whom he could go out for drinks or play golf. But at night he was completely alone. He thought he would feel better over time. Instead, he felt worse. He tried going to hostess clubs. Talking to the ladies was fun, but at the end of the night you were alone again, feeling stupid for having spent so much money.

Then he remembered a television program he had seen, about a company called Family Romance, one of a number of agencies in Japan that rent out replacement relatives. One client, an elderly woman, had spoken enthusiastically about going shopping with her rental grandchild. “The grandchild was just a rental, but the woman was still really happy,” Nishida recalled.

Nishida contacted Family Romance and placed an order for a wife and a daughter to join him for dinner. On the order form, he noted his daughter’s age, and his wife’s physique: five feet tall and a little plump. The cost was forty thousand yen, about three hundred and seventy dollars. The first meeting took place at a café. The rental daughter was more fashionable than Nishida’s real daughter--he used the English word “sharp”--but the wife immediately impressed him as “an ordinary, generic middle-aged woman.” He added, “Unlike, for example, Ms. Matsumoto”--he nodded toward my interpreter, Chie Matsumoto--”who might look like a career woman.” Chie, a journalist, teacher, and activist, who has spiky salt-and-pepper hair and wears plastic-framed glasses, laughed as she translated this qualification.

The wife asked Nishida for details about how she and the daughter should act. Nishida demonstrated the characteristic toss of the head with which his late wife had rearranged her hair, and his daughter’s playful way of poking him in the ribs. Then the women started acting. The rental wife called him Kazu, just as his real wife had, and tossed her head to shake back her hair. The rental daughter playfully poked him in the ribs. An observer would have taken them for a real family.

Nishida booked a second meeting. This time, the wife and daughter came to his house. The wife cooked okonomiyaki, a kind of pancake that Nishida’s late wife had made, while Nishida chatted with the daughter. Then they ate dinner together and watched television.

More family dinners followed, usually at Nishida’s house, though one time they went out for monjayaki, another variety of pancake beloved by the late Mrs. Nishida. It hadn’t been a fancy meal, and Nishida wondered whether he should have taken the women, who were, after all, his guests, to a nicer place. Then again, in real life, the Nishidas hadn’t gone to any of those nicer places.

Before another meeting, it occurred to Nishida to send Family Romance a copy of his house key. When he came home from work that night, the lights were on, the house was warm, and a wife and daughter were there to say, “Welcome home.”

“That was very nice,” Nishida recalled, smiling slightly. He said he didn’t miss the women when they left--not with any sense of urgency or longing. But he did think, “It would be nice to spend some time like that with them again.”

Nishida said that, although he still calls them by the names of his wife and daughter, and the meetings still take the form of family dinners, the women have, to some extent, stopped acting and “turned into their own selves.” The rental wife sometimes “breaks out of the shell of the rental family” enough to complain about her real husband, and Nishida gives her advice. With this loosening of the roles, he realized that he, too, had been acting, playing the part of “a good husband and father,” trying not to seem too miserable, telling his daughter how to hold her rice bowl. Now he felt lighter, able for the first time to talk about his real daughter, about how shocked he had been when she announced her decision to move in with a boyfriend he had never met, and how they had argued and broken off contact.

On the subject of the real daughter, the rental daughter had a lot to say: as someone in her early twenties, she could tell that Nishida hadn’t spoken correctly, or expressed himself in the right way. He’d made it hard for his daughter to apologize and it was up to him to create an opening. “Your daughter is waiting for you to call her,” she told him.

Eventually, Nishida called his daughter--something he says he wouldn’t have done if the rental substitute hadn’t helped him see her point of view. It took a few tries to get through, but they were eventually able to talk. One day, he came home from work to find fresh flowers for his wife on the family altar, and he understood that his daughter had been at the house while he was gone.

“I’ve been telling her to come home,” he said carefully, folding and refolding a hand towel that the waitress had brought him. “I’m hoping to meet her again soon.”

Yuichi Ishii, the founder of Family Romance, told me that he and his “cast” actively strategize in order to engineer outcomes like Nishida’s, in which the rental family makes itself redundant in the client’s life. His goal, he said, is “to bring about a society where no one needs our service.” A handsome man in his mid-thirties, he came to one of our meetings straight from a TV interview, wearing a pin-striped suit.

Born in Tokyo, Ishii grew up on the Chiba coast, where his father was a fruit dealer and his mother taught swimming. When he was in elementary school, his friends would gather around a pay phone to listen to him make prank calls, disguising his voice as a grownup’s; only he could make such calls without laughing. At twenty, he was scouted by a talent agency, and got a few jobs as a model and a movie extra. He also had regular work as a caregiver for the elderly. He showed me pictures on his phone of his younger self at different senior-home festivities, dressed variously as Marilyn Manson or in drag, surrounded by delighted residents. He loved the feeling of helping people, and was proud of being the most requested caregiver, even when residents were transferred to different facilities. In effect, he was already a rental grandson.

Eleven years ago, a friend of Ishii’s, a single mother, told him that she was having trouble getting her daughter into a competitive kindergarten, because schools favored children whose parents were married. Ishii volunteered to impersonate the child’s father at a school interview. The interview was not a success--the daughter wasn’t used to him and their interaction was stilted--but it filled him with the desire to do better, and to “correct injustice” by helping other women in his friend’s situation. Looking around to see whether anyone had thought to start a professional service of this kind, he came across the Web site of a rental-relative agency called Hagemashi-tai.

Hagemashi-tai, which can be translated as “I want to cheer you up,” was started in 2006 by Ryuichi Ichinokawa, a middle-aged former salaryman with a wife and two sons. Five years earlier, Ichinokawa had been deeply shaken by news of a stabbing at a private elementary school in a suburb of Osaka, in which eight children around his sons’ age were killed. Such incidents are rare in Japan, and schools weren’t equipped with appropriate counselling services, so Ichinokawa enrolled in a psychology course, hoping to become a school counsellor. Instead, he ended up launching a Web site that offered counselling by e-mail. From there, he branched out into renting relatives. A lot of problems, it seemed, were caused by some missing person, and often the simplest solution was to find a substitute.

Ishii registered with Hagemashi-tai, but, at twenty-six, he was considered too young for husband and father roles, and his only jobs were as a wedding guest. Weddings are the bread and butter of the rental-relative business, perhaps because traditions that dictate the number of guests haven’t changed to reflect increasing urbanization and migration, shrinking families, and decreased job security. Laid-off grooms rent replacements for co-workers and supervisors. People who changed schools a lot rent childhood friends. The newly affianced, reluctant to trouble one another with family problems, may rent substitutes for parents who are divorced, incarcerated, or mentally ill. One Hagemashi-tai client simply didn’t want to tell his fiancée that his parents were dead, so he rented replacements.

In 2009, Ishii decided to start his own company. Ishii runs Family Romance alongside a talent agency and a tech consultancy, employing about twenty full-time staff members, seven or eight of whom work exclusively for Family Romance. He maintains a database of some twelve hundred freelance actors. Big one-time jobs, like weddings, account for about seventy per cent of Family Romance’s revenue. The rest comes from personal relationships that may, as in Kazushige Nishida’s case, continue for years.

Ishii told me that, since 2009, he has played the husband to a hundred women. About sixty of those jobs were ongoing. At one point, early in his career, he was in ten families at the same time. It was not a sustainable workload. “You feel like you have someone’s life on your shoulders,” he said. He has since implemented a policy that no actor may play more than five roles at a time.

One of the hazards of the job is client dependency. Ishii says that between thirty and forty per cent of the women in ongoing relationships with rental husbands eventually propose marriage. Male clients have less opportunity to become dependent, because rental wives, for safety reasons, rarely visit men at home; Nishida’s wife and daughter made an exception because there were two of them. In general, rental partners and spouses aren’t supposed to be alone with clients one on one, and physical contact beyond hand-holding is not allowed.

The most difficult dependency situations involve single mothers. “We can’t just push them away and say ‘No, we can’t do that’ in a cold way, because we have a responsibility that we will play that role for a long time,” Ishii said. In such cases, his first step is to reduce the frequency of meetings to once every three months. This approach works with some people, but others insist on more frequent meetings. Occasionally, relationships have to be terminated.

In Tokyo this winter, I met with cast members from both Family Romance and Hagemashi-tai. They had attended weddings, spiritual seminars, job fairs, standup-comedy contests, and the album releases of teen idols. One woman had been impersonating a man’s wife for seven years: the real wife had put on weight, so the husband hired the stand-in to go out with him and his friends. The same actress had also replaced overweight mothers at school events; the children of overweight parents may be subject to bullying. Ichinokawa and Ishii told me many more stories. A hostess in a cabaret club hired a client to request her. A blind woman rented a seeing friend to identify the good-looking men at a singles dance. A pregnant woman rented a mother to persuade her boyfriend to acknowledge their child, and a young man rented a father to conciliate the parents of his pregnant lover.

Single women with marriage-obsessed parents often rent fake boyfriends or fiancés. If the parents demand to see the boyfriend again, the woman will typically stall for a while, and then say things didn’t work out. But sometimes the parents can’t be put off and matters escalate. Ishii says that, two or three times a year, he stages entire fake weddings. The cost is around five million yen (around forty-seven thousand dollars). In some cases, the bride invites real co-workers, friends, and family members. In others, everyone is an actor except the bride and her parents. The rental best man gives a speech, often bringing the rental guests to tears. When Ishii plays the groom, he experiences complicated emotions. A fake wedding, he says, is just as much work to organize as a real one, and he and the client plan together for months. Invariably, Ishii says, “I start to fall for her.” When it comes to the kiss, some brides prefer to fake it--they touch cheeks so it looks like they’re kissing--but others opt for the real thing. Ishii tries to pretend he’s acting in a movie, but often, he says, “I feel like I’m really getting married to this woman.”

Although it goes without saying that many aspects of the Japanese rental-relative business must be specific to Japan, it is also the case that people throughout human history have been paying strangers to fill roles that their kinsfolk performed for free. Hired mourners existed in ancient Greece, Rome, and China, in the Judeo-Christian tradition, and in the early Islamic world; they were denounced by Solon, by St. Paul, and by St. John Chrysostom. They still exist in China, India, and, lately, England, where an Essex-based service, Rent A Mourner, has been operating since 2013. And what are babysitters, nurses, and cooks if not rental relatives, filling some of the roles traditionally performed by mothers, daughters, and wives?

#Japan #rent a family #Yuichi Ishii #Family Romance

[lickstynine]

A/N: this is again set way way back. slightly after the last fic, so again, 19 yr old Kazu and 21 yr old Minato. recently together, all that shit. have fun.

"Why are ya here?"

Minato frowned in confusion. "What do you mean why? I live here."

"No, why are ya with me?" Kazu sat up in bed, swinging his legs over the edge of the mattress. He was barely visible in the dull light of the digital clock, the ghastly blue glow making him look even more gaunt and skeletal. "I have nothin' to give ya. I don't have money. I don't help out here. Hell, if anything, I'm inconvenient to ya. I make messes and eat your food and waste your time. You could do better. Why don't ya?"

"I don't want better. I want you." Minato sat up as well, leaning against Kazu's back. The taller young man was pleasantly warm, and Min snuggled up closer, giving his boyfriend a tight hug.

"Why." Kazu pulled away, rising to his feet. "Ya wouldn't buy a broken watch. Why do ya want a broken person. I'm less than useless. I'm defective. All I do is bring my problems with me wherever I go. It's like a disease. You're gonna get infected. Why won't you leave while you still can?!" His voice cracked as he cried out, genuine panic and fear radiating in his pleas.

Minato blinked, taken aback by this sudden barrage of negativity. Where had this come from? Moments before, he had been snuggled up to Kazu, close to dozing off after a good night's fuck. How long had Kazu been thinking about this? Were they about to break up? Should he have seen this coming? Starting to panic himself, Minato took a shaky breath, slowly trying to work out an answer.

"I'm not going to leave. I don't care what you think of yourself. I know better. I know you care about me, and you work so hard to keep me safe, even though our lives are so dangerous. If it weren't for you, I'd be dead a thousand times over. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. Why can't you figure that out? I don't want to leave you. I never want to leave. I'd rather die in your arms tomorrow than live to a hundred without you. I love you! Do you not get that? I love you so much it's stupid! I would give everything on this earth, everything in the conceivable universe, for you to be happy, so let me love you, even if you don't love yourself. I'll fix that part later."

Dead silence filled the room. Kazu was staring at Minato, slack-jawed and wide-eyed. For a moment, his lips fumbled, failing to form words, before he finally stammered, "y... you love me?"

"Of course I do!" Minato insisted, as if it were as obvious as the sky was blue.

"No... You're lyin'. Nobody loves me." Kazuhiro shook his head, retreating in the direction of the door. "This is all a lie. You aren't supposed to care. Nobody cares! Stop lying to me!" He bolted out of the bedroom, promptly smacking into the corner of a wall in the darkness. Defeated and dazed, Kazu sank to the knees, staring at the ground to avoid the approaching Minato.

The tiny blond knelt down on the ground about a foot away, reaching a hand out to lift up Kazu's chin. The dark-haired young man flinched at first, relaxing a little as he realized the touch was harmless. After a moment of hesitation, he met Minato's eyes, which, though wide with worry, were warm as ever. The frosty blue stare opposite Min was filled with thinly-veiled fear attempting to masquerade as anger. Minato's gaze melted right through the ice as he asked, "Why won't you let me care about you?"

"Because you're not supposed to." Kazu sighed. This was all so confusing. Nobody loved him. Nobody had ever cared about him. People didn't love him. They used him. For sex, or money, or murder, or any of the other filthy things decent people wouldn't stoop to. That's all he was. A subhuman tool for other scumbags to get what they want. "Nobody loves me, Nobody even likes me. That's just how it is."

“No, that’s how it was. I’m here now, and I love you, a lot.”

“But why? I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve your love. Hell, I don’t deserve a cheeseburger off the McDonald’s dollar menu.”

Minato had to bite back a laugh, struggling to keep a straight face as he retorted. “Yes you do! You’re so much better than you realize. You take care of me, and you keep me company, and even if you do act like a big dummy sometimes, I love you anyway. You don’t have to be perfect to deserve love. You just have to be human.”

Kazu stared blankly at his boyfriend, completely lost for words. If you looked hard enough, you could probably see the gears struggling to turn in his tired, drug-riddled brain as he struggled to make sense of what Min had said. He didn’t have to be perfect? He… deserved love? No. No way. This had to be a mistake, or a sick joke. It had to be. Didn’t it?

The longer he stared into Minato’s warm doll-like eyes, Kazu slowly started questioning his own logic. The tiny blond did have generally awful judgement about most things; it wasn’t completely unbelievable to think that Min did honestly love him. It wasn’t likely, but it wasn’t impossible, either. “You… you really love me?” He asked, still skeptical.

“Of course I do. You’re the most important person in the world to me.” Minato leaned closer, hugging his boyfriend tightly.

Kazu didn’t really reciprocate the hug, but he didn’t object either. He was still pretty deep in thought, trying to gauge whether this was some long-con conspiracy to fuck him over, or a genuine loving relationship. After a good ninety seconds of hugging and thinking, Kazu was relatively certain his boyfriend wasn’t an evil mastermind, and finally snapped out of his trance enough to give Min a half-assed hug.

Minato smiled, pecking Kazu on the cheek before climbing to his feet. “Come on, sweetie. It’s getting late. We can talk more about this tomorrow, okay?”

“Mm.” Kazu gave a vague nod, only half registering what his boyfriend said as he stood up. His feet dragged on the carpet as he followed Min back into the bedroom, sinking onto the too-small bed with a shaky sigh.

As his boyfriend drifted off, Kazu found himself slipping deeper into the toxic recesses of his mind. Would Minato still love him if he really got to know him? If he knew about the drinking, the drugs, the fights? Or worse, the one-night stands, the robberies, the murders, or even that one summer? He wasn’t truly human after all of that; his soul had been corroded away by the mix of disgust and regret and self-loathing seething inside him. All he’d ever be is a pathetic shell, a pseudo-human struggling to keep up the act of being alive inside. As soon as Minato broke through the shell, saw the bitter emptiness hiding inside, he’d run. Kazu was sure of it.

#kazu #kazuhiro #yokota #minato #kurosawa #angst #drabble