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isroselalondebisexual · 6 years

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What do you think Rose Egbert would be like? :0 And Dave Harley, John Lalonde, and Jade Strider

Rose Egbert, raised in a supportive, loving home environment, would probably still be fighty and punchy because I don’t think there’s a single parent in existence that could ever change that about her, but she’s also very likely going to be more inclined to wait until being PROMPTED before she lets loose her floods of salt and snark. So like, a pretty regular girl on first impressions, definitely deeply entrenched in her Hot Topic mall goth phase, wears chokers from Spencers and whatnot, but pretty friendly at face value and in all the advanced literature courses, has been in every psychology class the public education system offers. On the debate team. And so you’re like, cool, she’s on debate, that should be fun, she’s pretty well composed as a person I bet she has some good thoughts. And then you attend one of the debate matches. And you see a side of Rose Egbert you never knew existed and holy hot DAMN you’re not sure if you’re terrified or in love with her. Possibly both. Probably both. She’s quick witted alright, devastatingly intelligent and in this to WIN. Dad Egbert has all of her debate trophies (medals? I wasn’t in debate idk how these things work) displayed as proudly as he displayed his clown statues in the canon timeline. Her role as a Seer of Breath is to best free the timeline and her friendgroup from the clutches of the Literally-A-Demon Lord of Time, who seeks to enslave them, their timeline, and the universe to his whims, to become his playthings. Her role is to forsee the best route, not in terms of luck, but as a specific, pointed fuck you to Doc Scratch, Lord English, and everything associated with them. That part in canon where Rose is talking to Doc and he’s like “do you even still have that emotion?” or whatever and she’s like “Why, yes, it seems it’s all been mysteriously relocated to my middle finger. The dark magics are at it again.” Like that but times a thousand she is SMART she has FORESIGHT and she is going to FREE THEIR TIMELINE, BITCH.

Dave Harley grew up alone on an island with a magic dog and some weird chess folk, so first of all he doesn’t know what a gender is so jot that down, second of all what do you mean boys don’t like boys? Obviously boys like boys, he likes boys, u r foolish, u silly human culture you. So uh, you know how Dave is like, this huge massive attention whore in canon and he starts out “I’m so cool are you noticing me being cool and not caring over here”? Yeah no, immediately bypasses that, this boy wants ATTENTION so TALK TO HIM DAMMIT. His only real guide for physical touch has been a dog and some people who are not human so Personal Space Whomst? Dave is here, he is in your personal space, you are paying attention to him bitches. His collection of weird dead shit is even weirder, given that it is a Harley tradition to taxidermy weird shit and also he lives out on an island now. Probably takes the PRETTIEST photos of like, the island views and stuff, which he naturally posts online and gets a lot of likes and reblogs for which, good, give him that sweet sweet validation. His selfies are everywhere. Go like them. His role as the Knight of Space would be a pretty important one, he’s upholding the balance of the universe and breeding the new one and stuff, which basically just means he’s the weird frog dad now. You see all those frogs? Those are his babies. He loves them. Smorch. Dave ew don’t kiss frogs that’s gross. Dave does not care, Dave is gonna smooch those frogs bc he loves them and all their mutant little paradox offspring. Dave the frog whisperer. Whenever Karkat’s getting screechy he just like. Takes one out of his sylladex or his hood or pocket or SOMEWHERE and sets it delicately down in front of Karkat when he’s not looking and Karkat proceeds to screech and flip out and Dave laughs at him. This Dave is likely a lot more carefree, but doesn’t have a good grasp of concepts like “responsibility” or “giving people space.” A good and goofy kid, with some nice tasty abandonment issues probably thrown into the mix there somewhere. He doesn’t wanna be alone again.

John Lalonde very likely has a very bad grasp of what consequences are. If he breaks shit, they can just buy a new one, if he pranks someone a little too mean or says something that goes a little too far, his mom is easy to forgive him. My dear sweet ADHD child probably didn’t do too good in school and did a lot of class clowning tomfoolery but Mom Lalonde didn’t discipline him for it at home so threats of “I will call your mother if you don’t settle down” didn’t have much of an effect on him. He’s a good kid! Friendly and loving and affectionate, but if he fucks up he doesn’t take responsibility for it and pulls the “it was just a joke!” card way too frequently and doesn’t know how to actually apologize or fix his mistakes. But even though he’s very outwardly childish, he’s also surprisingly mature for his age, by way of like, opinions and stuff? Like he’ll say stuff and it’ll seem totally left field for him cause John you’re like, the funny dude of our group, but he’s also the one who knows how to disinfect wounds and the RIDICULOUS importance of making sure your older sibling knows who their DD is when they’re off drinking with their friends and while he doesn’t have an emotional reaction to traumatic events right off the bat (like in canon) he does do a VERY good job of responding pragmatically to them, and that’s kind of a result of yeah, his mom’s his buddy, and yeah, she lets him get away with anything, but no, John doesn’t really get the chance to be a kid ALL the time, and in part he acts out like this because he’s frustrated that he CAN’T fully be a kid, so he’s overcompensating. His role as the Heir of Light would be as somebody who embodies luck and intellect, which he doesn’t really feel like he can do. He’s not smart, right? He’s never done well in school. But he has really high emotional intelligence, and he’s got street smarts no 13 year old has any business having, and he eventually comes to realize that he is lucky. He’s very lucky. He’s got good friends who love him and who he loves, a strong team who can conquer the world, the universe, even a demon with the strength of a green sun, and when John comes to appreciate consequences and ramifications of their actions, he would be better able to understand how to use his powers to become the luckiest little shit in the universe, and could look death in the face with confidence because he understands, now, he’s realized some things, some the easy way and some lessons were painfully hard, but he’s confident in what he’s doing and he’s got his friends at his back.

Jade Strider, I hate to say it, but I think she would end up a very meek individual. Very, very hypervigilant, aware of everyone’s mood around her and this HUGE people pleaser, because as far as she’s concerned “not actively pleased” might as well be utterly synonymous to “actively displeased.” Life is uncertain to her, she’s very diligent about reading the moods of others and making them happy. Everyone loves her and think she’s just absolutely the best, she’s always ready to listen, always eager to cheer her friends up when they’re feeling down, doesn’t say jack SHIT about herself. If people ask she straight up lies. She does NOT talk about her own problems, even worse than in canon. She is happy go lucky and pleasant to be around, see? She’s doing great. Don’t worry about her! Oh do you need to talk about something? She’s got hair-trigger reflexes and does NOT react well to sudden loud noises or jumpscares. She’s very forgiving, because it’s only natural that sometimes her friends will hurt her feelings, right? That’s what love looks like. Some things just can’t be prevented, so why bother. Lotta learned helplessness kinda shit going down. Very reactive to positive feedback and physical affection (as long as she sees it coming) but has no idea how to go about asking for it. She’s very popular at her school for being pretty and cool and badass and friendly all tied up into one but her friendships are very shallow with her school friends, because if she cannot open up about herself, what room is there for emotional intimacy? As a Witch of Time, her main thing that needs to happen is she needs to get fed up. She needs to get pissed off. She doesn’t deserve this shit! She’s thirteen! She doesn’t deserve a parent who didn’t love her, she doesn’t deserve to have the weight of the timeline on her shoulders, she doesn’t deserve to see her own corpse over and over and fucking OVER again! This isn’t fair, this isn’t right, she doesn’t FUCKING want this, fuck her Bro fuck the Game fuck keeping quiet she’s a KID and she’s HURTING and she will be fucking UPSET about it! And then she’s gotta let John, and Rose, and Dave hold her and tell her she’s right, she’s so right, she is absolutely entitled to her anger, she’s allowed to feel angry about this, she’s gonna be okay though, they’re there, they love her and they’re not gonna let anyone hurt her ever again, she’s allowed to feel hellfire down deep to her bones but then, most importantly, she needs to let her friends help her, she needs to trust them, and learn how trusting works, learn what love looks like and how all her little broken pieces fit back together. And no, she’s never gonna fully recover from that. She knows she’s gonna be a compulsive liar down to her dying day and she’s never going to be able to trust openly like some people do, but she’s got people who love her and who she loves dearly, and she’s going to be okay, and every day it gets a little easier. Some days are bad, yeah, some days she’s angry over stuff she thought she got over years ago, but at the end of the Game, after all has been ripped asunder and they’ve moved into their new lives on Earth C, she is allowed to recover and to rest and sure it’s not always easy, but she’s always trying, and things are better now.

#Rose Lalonde #John Egbert #Dave Strider #Jade Harley #Rose Egbert #Dave Harley #John Lalonde #Jade Strider #answers #Homestuck #John #Jade #Dave #kidswap #Homestuck meta #analysis #Homestuck analysis

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foxykey · 7 years

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BTS Hogwarts!AU

Okay so this is going to be an idea dump, I don’t actually have any fics in mind for this (or at least none yet but who knows). Basically, I’ve seen a couple of hogwarts houses castings for the BTS boys and I wanted to do one of my own with my reasons for each casting. These are - of course - just my personal opinions. Hope you guys enjoy! Disclaimer: I’m doing this on mobile so i’ll prolly have to go back and edit it a bit later if it seems weird. You all know what a bitch mobile is :/ - Jin: Gryffindor. I think a lot of people tend to create these one-dimensional ideas for idols in their heads (not on purpose or anything but it happens) and Jin is certainly a HUGE victim of this trend. A lot of people tend to oversimplify him as sweet and kind and motherly - which he can be. But Jin can also be kind of a dick, which I fucking love. He doesn’t actually take any shit from anyone and that doesn’t at all take away from how kind and good a person he is or how much he cares for others. He’s just kinda an asshole as well. Jin is bold and confident and also chivalrous. Kind and good, but can be an ass too. Way too into himself for his own good and also sometimes overcompensates. - Yoongi: Hufflepuff. Yoongi is usually put in Slytherin and I totally get that: cunning, ambitious, resourceful. But when I was brushing up on the core values of each house, I read literally the opening description of Hufflepuff and if that didn’t scream the real Yoongi to me idk what did. “Hufflepuff values hard work, dedication, patience, loyalty, and fair play.” He fudges a bit on the fair play (cheating lil shit), but everything else makes so, so much sense to me. I think he’d be a Hufflepuff, but one of the ones people see as an outlier; like the sorting doesn’t seem to make any sense until you actually get to know him and then it makes all the sense in the entire world. - Hoseok: Slytherin. This one took me a while to decide on, actually and i’ll explain why. I think Hobi can be a lot of things. Like he could 100% be a Hufflepuff and that’s where he is most often sorted. But also he’d actually make a really good Slytherin and he’d make a good Gryffindor, too, and you could even make an argument for him being in Ravenclaw. He has qualities that pertain to every house and qualities that contradict every house, too. I think Hobi would be one of those people who gets sorted into a house because he WANTS to be there because he could be good in any house. I was caught between Hufflepuff and Slytherin mostly. In the end I went with Slytherin because the concept of Hoseok in that house fascinates me. He’s also another victim of people shoehorning him into one dimension/idea. Yeah, Hobi is literal sunshine and loud and goofy and cheerful, but his members have also often said that he’s vicious and you don’t want to mess with him or catch him when he’s in a mood because he’ll whip your ass. Hoseok is pretty freaking bullheaded af and he’s definitely ambitious. - Namjoon: Ravenclaw. You could make a really great argument for him being a Gryffindor, but I’m going to have to stick with the quintessential casting of him as a Ravenclaw. I think Namjoon is driven by seeking knowledge and he’s just very much one of those people who is super a model of what their house represents. He also seems very much like a person who goes through life breaking things down into problems and solutions and we all know he spends most of his time on twitter philosophizing about life, etc. - Jimin: Slytherin. Jimin is another one who kind of can have an argument made to place him in almost all the houses (excluding Ravenclaw, imo, I just don’t think it fits him). However, I actually think he would be Slytherin more than anything else. Jimin super dedicated to his craft and he fights for it. He’s such a hard working and he’s ambitious as all hell and he’s always fighting to improve himself. Jimin just has this strong, unbendable resolve to always be better and strive for perfection that I think would be so well-honed in Slytherin. - Taehyung: Gryffindor. Gryffindor all the way. Loud, brash, bold, unapologetic. Taehyung isn’t afraid at all to take leaps and chances. I’ve seen a lot of people sort him into Hufflepuff as well, but I kind of think he’d be a Gryffindor. He’d be the really weird kid in Gryffindor tho, but not the one you would question as to why he’s there in the first place. - Jungkook: Ravenclaw. Okay, okay, I know this one seems super out of left field. People usually cast him as Gryffindor or Slytherin (both of which I get), but I think he’d be such a great Ravenclaw and hear me out. So there’s this basic idea/theory that the Sorting Hat either sorts you based on qualities you have or qualities you admire and strive for. Ravenclaw’s core essentials are wit and knowledge and intelligence. People are always up his ass about how he isn’t good at math, but Jungkook is smarter than hell and he obviously admires that trait highly. He admires the hell out of Namjoon for his intelligence. He’s also super witty, another trait he highly admires. It’s evident as hell if you just watch him, at least to me. So I’m sticking with him in Ravenclaw. Also, it’s very appealing to me that he’d be in a house with Namjoon. A FEW OTHER RANDOM DETAILS OF THIS UNIVERSE: - Jin would be a prefect for Gryffindor - He would also be that super, crazy popular guy everyone is batshit in love with - the one you’d hate from afar and gag and be like “ugh why do people degrade themselves over such a conceited prick??” - but then you can’t help being charmed by and totally getting a crush (regular, friend, boy, etc. all and ay type of crush) on when you actually get to know him - Namjoon would also be a prefect for Ravenclaw - and he’d be that super chill prefect everyone admires the hell out of - the one who lets a lot of stupid shit slide - but will 100% call you out when you fuck up - and then you feel small and you hate that you feel like you disappointed him - yoongi would probably be a prefect for hufflepuff too (nerd ❤️) - Yoongi’s and jimin and hoseok hang around all the time - like theyre this sort of click - inseparable - you very much want to sit with them at lunch except how could you??? you are in no way on their level ffs pls look at them - so many ppl constantly ask Yoongi why hes not in slytherin - and hobi and jimin are always like "yeah yoongs why arent you in the best house ever ?? Hyuk hyuk hyuk" - and Yoongi just rolls his eyes and just spits out a savage ass comment and walks away as the other two idiots follow still laughing - because jimin and Hobi would be annoyingly loud about their house loyalty - like they’d always mention it and always bring it up like.... - "srsly stfu no one cares how much you wish you could suck Salazar Slytherin's cock" - "i would totally suck his cock you're just jealous that his was bigger than your stupid founder's cock anyway hahahaha" - Hobi and jimin would also be on the quidditch team - both chasers - craaaaaaaazy good - untouchable - wow - such grace in the air, such finesse, such speed - taehyung would be on the Gryffindor quidditch team except he'd 1000000% be a beater - he'd have girls (and guys lbrh) eating out of his hand swooning over him - "omg he's so sweet and so good-looking and so funny !!!!!" - "such a puppy" - "what a gentle precious soul" - "uuuuhhh...... he literally knocked some dude unconscious last game" - "an obvious misunderstanding for he is a gentle pup" - jungkook would be the seeker for ravenclaw - golden maknae takes whole new meaning - the other teams would constantly be accusing him of cheating because - "how tf does he always find fucking snitch so fast ????? def cheating" - super admired and fawned over - gets lots of... attention........... if ya catch my drift - except he's an awkward shy moron who doesn't do well meeting new people - often shelters himself behind namjoon, who - lbh -isnt any help - completely different on and off the field - crazy intelligent but kind of a mess in class actually - "how are you even a Ravenclaw??" - "stfu tae eat dick like you're such a great student" - omg i'm crying excuse me thats the end for now

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