Dr. Octavius Brine would have cured the coronavirus in eighteen hours
Wait hold up I was watching the penguins movie the other day and when renowned geneticist, cheese enthusiast and frequent donor to NPR pledge drives Doctor Octavius Brine said “pretty birds belong in their cages😈” I said “…. ya know what? the Dave lovers on tumblr be making some points”
Penguins of Madagascar (2014) dir. Eric Darnell
BLACK - By DAVE
Look, black is beautiful, black is excellent
Black is pain, black is joy, black is evident
Workin' twice as hard as the people you know you’re better than
‘Cause you need to do double what they do so you can level them
Black is so much deeper than just African-American
Our heritage been severed, you never got to experiment
With family trees, 'cause they teach you 'bout famine and greed
Show you pictures of our fam on their knees
Tell us we used to be barbaric, we had actual queens
Black is watchin’ child soldiers gettin’ killed by other children
Feelin’ sick so quick, this could have happened to me
Mummy watchin’ tellin’ stories 'bout your dad and your niece, listen
The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice
Kid dies, the blacker the killer, the sweeter the news
And if he’s white, you give him a chance, he’s ill and confused
If he’s black he’s probably armed, you see him and shoot, look
Black is growin’ up around the barbershop
Mummy sayin’, “Stay away from trouble, you’re in yard a lot”
Studying for ages, appreciatin’ the chance you got
'Cause black is in your blood, and you ain’t even got the heart to stop
Black is steppin’ in for your brothers because your father’s gone
Standin’ by your children when you haven’t proven karma wrong
Black is doin’ all of the above, then go and corner shop
Tryna help a lady cross the road to have her walkin’ off
Black is growin’ up around your family and makin’ it
Being forced to leave the place you love because there’s hate in it
People say you’re faking it, never stay for change in it
But black is bein’ jealous, you’d be dead if you had stayed in it
Black is strugglin’ to find your history and tracing it
You don’t know the truth about your race 'cause they’re erasin’ it
Black has got a really sour flavour, here’s a taste of it
But black is all I know, there ain’t a thing that I would change in it
Look, black isn’t a single colour, man, there’s shades to it
Her hair’s straight and thick, but mine’s got waves in it
Black is not divisive, they been lyin’ and I’m hating it
Black has never been a competition, we’re all making it
Black is deadly
Black is when you’re freezin’ in your home and you can’t get sleep, but never feelin’ empty
'Cause you got twenty cousins in your country living stress-free
Walkin’ for their water, daughter wrapped inside a bedsheet
Black is distant
It’s representin’ countries that never even existed while your grandmother was livin’
Black is my Ghanaian brother readin’ into scriptures
Doin’ research on his lineage, findin’ out that he’s Egyptian
Black is people namin’ your countries on what they trade most
Coast of Ivory, Gold Coast, and the Grain Coast
But most importantly to show how deep all this pain goes
West Africa, Benin, they called it slave coast
Black is so confusin’, 'cause the culture? They’re in love with it
Take our features when they want and have their fun with it
Never seem to help with all the things we know would come with it
Loud in our laughter, silent in our sufferin’
Black is bein’ strong inside and facing defeat
Poverty made me a beast, I battled the law in the streets
We all struggled, but your struggle ain’t a struggle like me
Well how could it be when your people gave us the odds that we beat?
I mean, bloody hell, what about our brothers that are stuck in jail?
That couldn’t bust a bail, they held a bird and gotta live with it
Black is bein’ guilty until proven that you’re innocent
Black is sayin’, “Free all my people stuck inside them prison cells”
Think it’s funny, we ain’t got nothin’ to say to them
Unconditional love is strange to them, it’s amazin’ 'em
Black has really got the sweetest flavour, here’s a taste of it
But black is all I know, there ain’t a thing that I would change in it
It is racist whether or not it feels racist
The truth is our Prime Minister is a real racist
They say, “You should be grateful we’re the least racist”
I say the least racist is still racist
And if somebody hasn’t said it
Equality is a right, it doesn’t deserve credit
Now if you don’t want to get it, then you’re never gonna get it
How the news treats Kate versus how they treated Megan
Rest in Peace Jack Merritt, you’re my brother in arms
There’s tears in our eyes and love in our hearts
We never had the same background, culture, colour, or past
But you devoted your life to giving others a chance
And for that, I’m so taken aback
Because it gave us all a voice, I have to say it for Jack
As a young black man seeing paper and crack
Giving tougher sentences, it’s just papering cracks
All he would want is unity, funding for communities
Equal opportunities, people under scrutiny
No more immunity, way less hatred
More conservation, less deforestation
We want rehabilitation, now that would be amazing
But Grenfell victims still need accommodation
And we still need support for the Windrush generation
Reparations for the time our people spent on plantations
Being Kipos best friend in the burrow and going to the surface with her
~ Lio is like a father to you and Kipos baiscally your sister. You grew up in homes next to each other in the burrow and have been inseparable since you were kids.
~ Your nights and days are filled with making fun games, exploring the caves that surround the burrow, discussing flora and fauna, and playing/singing music. It’s always an adventure with Kipo as she brightens any room as she talks and laughs. One of her favorite things to do is sit together or lean against each other and read books while acting out the characters. Sometimes she’ll try and make it a small play and invite other friends so everyone’s included.
~ Kipos cuddly and often shows her affection through touch. As her best friend you get several hugs a day (sometimes sneak attack ones) and it’s your duty to return them in kind. If you don’t like touch thought Kipo gives lots of compliments and verbal affirmation instead. Whatever makes you comfortable, she will do.
~ Kipo always talks about the surface and theorizes what it’s like with you. She wishes she could go up there but knows she never will. She’s fascinated with the idea of mutes and tells you all her ideas of the surface world.
~ You were with Lio and Kipo rock climbing when you felt the tremors. You were slightly under Kipo and nearly fell off the cliff side as the mega mute passed. Suddenly the tremors get worse and you feel yourself falling after Lio unclips you and Kipo. You hear him shouting as you and Kipo are carried away by the current.
~ You’re eyes burn when you wake up. The suns brighter than you’d ever imagined. Kipo is looking at everything and you have to pull her away when she tries to touch something that looks very dangerous.
~ You and Kipo are pretty torn up. First things first. You need new clothes, supplies, and food. Having a mini fashion show after stumbling into a store you grab a backpack and rush after Kipo as she runs outside. The Surface is so exciting and new and fun! It’s obviously very dangerous and you both have to be careful but it’s hard to be careful when there’s so many new sights and sounds and feelings!!!
~ When you go to the school and find Mandu you can’t help but coo and pet her. Such a sweet and cute mute! You wish all mutes were as awesome as her.
~ It’s weird seeing a surface school so damaged and weathered by teh elements and looking at the class photo you wonder what life was like back then. On the surface. No mutes. No burrows. No being forced to be underground… You don’t tell Kipo your thoughts but you have a feeling she knows and is probably thinking the same thing. You leave the school to explore more and almost loose your new friend Mandu!
~ Wolf is your first human friend on the surface once you make her not eat Mandu but she didn’t start out as the nicest friend. However you could tell she was warming up to you and Kipo quickly. Especially since she was nice enough to help you two find your way home.
~ The Mod frogs are terrifying especially since you’ve never really seen real mutes before but their also oddly adorable as well. Frogs and toads in suits!!! Jamack gets so confused when you and Kipo coo over him and his outfit until it hits him your burrow people and he’s hit the mother load! Wolf ends up saving you thankfully.
~ You meet Benson, and Dave not long after. The surface world is scary and very overwhelming but with your new friends and Kipo by your side you know it’ll all turn out fine. Hopefully.
~ Ben and Dave steal your stuff and act like it’s fine. You catch up to them and they laugh it off handing your stuff back. Suddenly the Mod Frogs attack and their captured. Kipo of course says go back despite your objections and eventually you save them depsite getting caught yourselves. Thankfully Megabunny furr comes in handy when trying to escape Mod frogs.
~ Once you escape you’re fuming! You kick Dave and Bens ass after you save them! How could they betray you like that??? You become very close after but they definitely will not forget your wrath any time soon. They’re excited to live in a burrow with you despite Wolfs distase at the idea.
~ As Wolf gets closer and you all truly become a pack your adventure and life on the surface only gets crazier and the mutes only get bigger scarier and stronger. The hunt for your new burrow feels more and more impossible depsite Kipos hope and you wonder if the surface will be your new home. When you learn Wolf tried to sabotage you and Kipo from getting to the new burrow you feel hurt and angry in a way you can’t describe but like Kipo you understand and hug her forgiving her.
~ When Kipo learns she’s half mute you’re the first to hug her and say she’s no different. She’s still Kipo and you still love her. Wolf isn’t so understanding but while Ben chases her you stay with Kipo right as Jamack comes along and kidnaps you. Not the best time JAMACK.
~ The journey is hard and every mute on the surface seems to be after you and Kipo including Scarlemange but you know together you can take on the world. Burrow people or not the surface is no match for you and Kipo.
Gaster: Hey is anyone else d-
Mom Sans: Depressed?
Chara: Deprived of sleep?
Gaster: …Done with your work! What is wrong with you people?
Dave: How much longer are we gonna let her do this?
Chara: Just let her keep going
Shitpost: *forcefully pushing a door clearly marked ‘pull’
We all love to wonder what would have happened if Kowalski had gotten fed up with Skipper undermining him and joined Dr. Blowhole… but in regards to the movie verse… what would have happened if Private had gotten fed up with Skipper constantly underestimating him and infantalizing him and joined Dave?