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sir-subpar · 3 years

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Where have you been? (1)

*This takes place in the Cursed!Bf au. This is pretty focused on Pico's point of view. Not a lot of shipping in this chapter, but I had a lot of fun writing this. This will be a 2-parter. Btw, swear words.*

Pico had challenged Boyfriend to another rap battle for fun and awaited his arrival. He was late, but they did plan to meet up at 5:00 pm so Pico figured it was just rush hour traffic holding him up. So he waited patiently. Minutes turned to hours, and the sun had set below the horizon. Pico tried to text him, but got no response. This was bullshit. He waited for hours like a fool and now B was ghosting him? If he didn't want to rap why didn't he just cancel?

Pico grit his teeth in frustration as he got into his car. He began driving to Boyfriend's and Girlfriend's house. His grip on the steering wheel was unnecessarily tight. Sure, maybe he was overreacting a little. It was just a rap battle, but it angered him that B had wasted his time. He could have done something to let him know that they had to cancel. So in the moment, telling him off just sounded cathartic. He muttered random obscenities under his breath, as if reciting how he was gonna tell him off.

By the time he had reached the house Bf and Gf shared together it was dark out, some stars had started making their mark on the blackened sky. Pico could see the living room light was on. Good, they were home. Pico slammed the car's door, then walked up the little path to the house's front door. He knocked on the door and waited. He tapped his foot impatiently. He had spent his whole afternoon waiting for this guy to show up so the idea of waiting any longer annoyed the hell out of him.

He could hear the door being unlocked and was about to start his angry rant when he saw it was Girlfriend at the door. The look on her face was odd, she looked surprised and… worried? That seemed off to Pico, as she usually opened the door with more enthusiasm no matter who was there. She was wearing a red crop top and black sweatpants, her comfy clothes.

"... Pico? What are you doing here?" She asked, her tone came off as nervous. "I just wanna ask Boyfriend something." He decided not to yell at Girlfriend, she wasn't the one he was pissed at anyway. "Oh… He isn't with you? He doesn't… live here anymore."

Just like that, all the anger built up in Pico had just fizzled. Replaced with confusion and shock. And a little bit of worry. "Why doesn't he live here??" Pico asked, what was going on? "Bf and I… we broke up. He left a few weeks ago and I haven't seen him since." She seemed nervous, she avoided making eye contact as she spoke. She left fidgeting with her hair, a nervous habit of hers.

"So you don't know where he is, huh?" Pico asked, he too, started feeling nervous.

"I haven't seen him since we broke up. He left most of his stuff here too. Even his phone. I figured he had run off to stay with you but I guess that's not the case." Girlfriend continued. Pico's worry only grew from there. He put his hands in his pockets and awkwardly continued their conversation. "How long has this been going on? Like, when was the last time you saw him?" Pico had to know. How long had he been out of the loop here? Girlfriend looked him in the eyes, almost shamefully. "Two weeks."

Pico couldn't help but be shocked by this. "Do you know anyone else he might have talked to? Anyone he might be staying with right now?" Anyone who would know where he is? That was what he really wanted to know. Where could he have gone? Girlfriend shook her head. "No, I don't know who he'd go to other than you. Most people we know don't really like him that much as far as I know." Pico couldn't help but grow more worried. This just wasn't like B… was he in trouble? "Well.. I'm gonna try to find out where he is. You wanna help?" Pico gestured towards his car, thinking they could ask around. Girlfriend averted her gaze, once again avoiding eye contact. "I'm pretty sure I'm the last person he wants to see.."

Pico couldn't argue with that. Hell, when he and Bf broke up they still kept in contact to some degree. Boyfriend completely ghosting someone was rare, so he must've really wanted to avoid her. "Yeah… I guess that makes sense. Uh, have a good night." Pico and Girlfriend shared goodbyes and went their separate ways. Pico never liked being alone with her, to be honest. It was always awkward, now it was made worse with Boyfriend being who knows where. Pico drove off in his car, contemplating what he should do. 'Maybe I should just call some of B's friends. He might just be staying at one of their places.' He thought to himself.

Pico had to think about who Boyfriend trusted the most (not counting himself or Gf in this case). He started thinking of people B had introduced him to. 'I have Hex's number, he's friendly, maybe Bf talked to him? It's worth a shot.' Pico scrolled through his contacts until he found Hex's number. The phone dialed for a few seconds, then he heard a robotic voice greet him. "Hello friend!" Hex exclaimed, enthusiastic as always. Pico wasn't really sure if he'd consider himself as Hex's 'friend' per say, but he never disliked the guy.

"Hey Hex, it's Pico."

"Greetings Pico! Haven't heard from you in a while! How are you?"

"I'm alright, thanks. I actually need to ask you something. Could you help me with something?"

"You sound worried. How can I help?"

"I know this might sound random but… is Boyfriend staying with you by chance?" Pico nervously tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. He hoped that by some chance that maybe Hex knew something.

"No, why?" Just like that, Pico's hope was dashed. Despite that, he decided to fill Hex in on the situation. Maybe having another person looking out for B would help their chances of finding him.

"Well, he and Girlfriend split up 2 weeks ago and he just kinda… disappeared. I've tried to reach out to him but he's not responding. Gf said she has no idea where he is."

" I'm sorry, I don't know any more than you do."

Pico let out a small sigh. "Yeah, I'm worried about him. Hey, if you see him, will you let me know?"

"I will."

"Thank you, I appreciate it." Pico was about to hang up the phone when Hex said one last thing.

"Actually, my friend Whitty sometimes hangs out with Boyfriend. I'll call and ask him if he knows where Boyfriend is." Hex sounded hopeful, which made Pico feel a little better. "Thanks, Hex. Let me know what he says."

"Will do! Bye for now!"

"Bye."

Pico hung up. Deciding to drive home for the time being. He couldn't help but suddenly wonder though… who was Whitty? The name sounded familiar, but he couldn't recall meeting someone named Whitty. Maybe Bf had mentioned the guy to Pico before. Regardless, if this guy knew anything about Bf, he'd take it.

Pico got home and felt exhausted. He kicked his shoes off at the front door, and dragged his feet as he walked towards his bedroom. He changed into some pajamas and started preparing to sleep. Part of him wanted to stay up and wait to hear back from Hex, but he was tired, and he needed to rest. He'd continue his search after getting some sleep, he decided. Pico pulled his bedsheets over his body, closed his eyes, and eventually drifted off to sleep.

…

Pico got up the next morning at around 7:30 am. He got dressed, brushed his hair and teeth, all that usual morning routine stuff. Then, just as he was about to start calling more people to see if they knew anything about Bf, he got a call from Hex.

"Hello? Hex?"

"Pico!" Hex yelled, sounding excited. "I have good news!" Now Pico was beginning to feel excited. "I talked to my friend Whitty. He said he saw Bf a few days ago!"

"Does he know where B is now?" Pico was nervously fidgeting with the collar of his shirt. He wasn't entirely sure why, but ever since his conversation with Girlfriend, he just had a gut feeling that something was wrong. He hoped it was just paranoia. "Does he know where Bf is now?" Pico asked. 'Please say yes.' He pleaded in his mind. "Hang on, let me ask him." Hex replied, then his voice sounded distant. He was talking to someone in person, their conversation muffled. "He said no, but he saw Bf in the same general area a few times last week. Maybe all three of us should go there and look for him together! Like a search party!" Hex sounded hopeful, and honestly it wasn't a bad idea. Pico took a deep breath. This was a good thing, this narrowed the search a bit. Pico reminded himself. "Okay, let's do it." He said, feeling determined. "I'll send you the address so we can meet up. See you there!" Hex proclaimed. "Thanks, I'll be there." Pico hung up, then rushed to get his keys, his gun, and other supplies then got in his car. Hex, as promised, sent him the address. Pico entered it into his phone's navigation system and drove there. It was in an oddly run-down neighborhood, with rundown buildings and dark alleys. He wondered what Bf would be doing there. He honestly didn't like the idea of parking his car in this neighborhood, do you worried that it would get stolen or broken into. So he parkes a little ways away, and walked the rest. It was for the best.

He walked to their agreed meet up spot. The sidewalk was in poor condition, as well as most of the buildings around him. Cracked and discolored walls, boarded up windows, shattered glass and trash was all over the place. The street alone looked as though the city gave up on it. This whole place was run down. Even one of the street lamps was knocked over, luckily it was the morning so it didn't matter.

Pico could see Hex's monitor head and basketball jersey from a distance. Said robot noticed him and waved to him. He saw someone else there with him, presumably Whitty. Upon closer inspection, Pico noticed a few things about Whitty. The first being that he was fucking tall as hell! Pico knew that he was short in comparison to most people but even so, this dude was TALL. Pico standing at his full height wasn't even half this guy's size. He had to be close to 9 feet tall. The next thing he noticed was the fact that his head was a bomb. His eyes were orange and glowed. Pico couldn't help but stare at the guy. When did Bf come into contact with this guy? How did they meet?

"Hey." Said the tall bomb-headed man. Pico flinched slightly, realizing he must have noticed him staring. His voice was kind of gruff, but not the usual kind of gruff. It reminded Pico of an electric guitar for some reason. Though he figured it probably was best not to say that out loud. Pico snapped out of his thoughts and finally replied. "Hey, I'm Pico. I'm guessing you're Whitty?" Pico held out his hand to shake Whitty's, the taller man returned the gesture. "Yeah, that's me." When their hands touched, Pico was surprised by how warm Whitty's hand was. It was definitely hotter than his own human hand. Not to mention how smooth his skin was, it felt somewhat like metal, but not quite. He kind of wanted to keep holding it just so he could examine it more, but he figured that would be weird to do to a guy he just met. So he let go.

"So… you saw Bf around here?" Pico asked, and decided it was time to start their search. "We crossed paths a few times but every time he ran away. He seemed… upset." Whitty explained, somewhat trailing off towards the end of his sentence. He too, seemed like he was worried about Boyfriend. Pico wondered how close they were. "Can you show us where you last saw him?" Hex asked, a question mark appearing on his screen. Whitty nodded "Yeah, follow me." He turned on his heels and began walking in front of them. He seemed confident, like he knew the area well. Pico and Hex quickly followed.

It was mostly quiet between them, Hex played some simple tune to break the silence. Something Pico appreciated. He felt a little awkward, he didn't know anything about Whitty, but apparently he was a friend of Bf's. He quickened his pace a bit so he could walk next to Whitty, he decided to break the silence between them. "So… how'd you meet Bf?" Whitty looked at Pico with an unreadable expression. "He challenged me to a rap battle." Pico chuckled at Whitty's answer and replied jokingly with "Ah, so the same way he meets everyone." Whitty chuckled. "Yeah, pretty much." He could hear Hex laugh a bit too. It really was the way he met most people. "So, how long have you known each other?" Pico asked. "Hmm… I think months now, almost a year. What about you? You two seem close." Whitty looked at Pico quizzically. Pico rubbed the back of his neck "Aw geez, a really long time. Since we were kids." Whitty's eyes widened in surprise. "Wow. So you're really close then huh? That explains a lot actually." Pico tilted his head in curiosity. What did he mean by that? "Yeah? Like what?" Whitty shrugged. "I dunno… B talks about you sometimes. He told me several times that I should meet you. Said he thought we'd get along." Whitty chuckled. "He always looked so happy when he talked about you.."

Pico couldn't help but feel flattered, but he also felt a little jealous. Bf told Whitty so much, he trusted him. He knew He longer than Whitty did, yet Bf apparently didn't trust him enough to tell him about his and Gf's breakup. Pico tried to ignore those thoughts. Bf, wherever he was, needed him. It wasn't time to be bitter. "Wish we could've met under better circumstances." Pico muttered, Whitty nodded. "Yeah."

Hex then decided to interject their conversation. "Hey Whitty, are we close to where you last saw Boyfriend?" The robot asked suddenly, startling Pico. For a second, he actually forgot the robot was there. 'Oh yeah.. We've been walking for a little while now.' Pico realized that he had lost track of where they were. "Yeah, sorry. It's just around this next corner, we're almost there." Whitty instructed. "Ok!" Hex replied. Pico nodded, observing their surroundings. This part of the neighborhood was… odd. It didn't seem quite as old as the rest of this beaten-down area. It seemed more… recently abandoned. The buildings, though still a mess, seemed more modern in comparison. Like at some point, this was a nice neighborhood, possibly even upper class at one point.

The trio turned right at the faded crosswalk, about three buildings down the street, they stopped. Whitty turned to face Pico and Hex. "This is where I last saw him. I tried to talk to him but he ran off and I lost track of him." Pico looked at the rundown building they were in front of. Unlike the other buildings in the area, it didn't seem that old. What surprised him though, was the obvious damage. It looked like the building caught fire at some point. The windows looked like they were shattered from the inside. Pico looked through them, he could see the remains of what appeared to be a restaurant. Broken and burned tables, shattered plates and collapsed support beams were all over the place. He could see the remains of broken speakers towards the back of the dining room, close to what was probably a bathroom. Pico took a few steps back and tried to read what was left of the restaurant's sign. Then it clicked.

He had heard of this place, about a year ago it was on the news because some lunatic blew up the place in the middle of a rap battle. He remembered seeing Boyfriend and Girlfriend escaping the smoldering wreckage on the news. He called them as soon as he saw it and let them stay at his house that night to comfort them. He could vividly remember the look on Girlfriend's face when they watched the aftermath on the news. Complete and utter terror. He had never seen her more scared in his life. Apparently the arsonist was never caught, for some reason. Pico never understood that. It was a restaurant full of people, surely somebody would have seen where he went, right? The thought made Pico uneasy. Why would B come anywhere near this place after that?

"Yo, Pico. You listening?" Whitty's voice suddenly pulled him out of his thoughts. He wondered how long he was zoning out for. "Sorry I- I just got lost in thought. What were you saying?" Pico felt bad. He was supposed to be looking for his missing friend, not zoning out. Pico mentally chastised himself for it before focusing on Whitty again. "I don't know where he went from here, but I don't think he left this side of town." Pico nodded, then looked up at Hex, his monitor was processing something. Pico guessed he was thinking up a plan. Then the monitor showed a map. "Maybe we should split up into different areas" the robot started, his now map that was once his face highlighted three different areas in the neighborhood. "After each of us surveys their area we can check in with each other over the phone." Hex offered. Pico, though he appreciated the thought, didn't really like the idea of the three of them splitting up in a neighborhood like this. Sure, he could take care of himself. Hell, he was an assassin for fucks sake. But even he knew he wasn't invincible. He was vulnerable. Especially in an area he wasn't familiar with. Before he could politely object though, Whitty commented on the plan. "Sorry Hex, that's a no go. This place ain't a good area. If we split, we could get ambushed." Pico was relieved that Whitty agreed with him. "If there were more of us, then we could split up into teams. But it's just too risky to do as is." Pico added, making his stance on the situation known. Hex sighed (or at least did the robot equivalent of sighing), his arms dropped and his now disappointed face appeared on the monitor's screen again. "Ok… this is far less efficient though." Hex replied, defeated. Pico gave him a comforting pat on the arm. "We appreciate the thought, Hex." Pico said, hoping it would appease the mechanical man. Hex smiled and let it go. "Where should we start looking?" Hex asked the group. Pico couldn't help but eye the burnt restaurant. "Let's check in here first." Whitty and Hex both looked at Pico quizzically, but shrugged it off and agreed.

Pico attempted to open the front doors, but they wouldn't give, the restaurant's double doors were stuck shut. Pico was about to slam into it when he was stopped by a large hand. Slightly startled, he realized it was Whitty who lightly grabbed him. The bomb man gently moved Pico away from the door."I got it." Was all he said before he gripped one of the door's handles and yanked the whole door off its hinges. Wood splinters flew everywhere as the door cracked and broke. Whitty tossed the door aside with one arm. Pico's jaw almost dropped. 'Holy shit. Either that door was weak or he's strong as hell!' Pico was tempted to comment on it but didn't want to come across as rude so all he did was thank Whitty. Hex on the other hand clapped his metallic claw hands, the metal making numerous "ting" sounds. "Great job Whitty!" Hex exclaimed before walking through the now open doorway. Whitty rubbed the back of his head, seeming a little embarrassed. Pico noticed Whitty's cheeks were slightly glowing orange. Was that how he blushed? "Err.. Thanks. It's nothing." Whitty had to lean down in order to fit through the doorway, Pico walked in after him.

The three of them spread out a bit to investigate the remains of the restaurant. Pico honestly thought it was depressing to look at. This had once been a peaceful place to take your loved ones to and enjoy food. Now it was just a husk of its former glory. An ashy, decrepit ruin. After a few minutes, they found nothing and decided to leave. Pico felt bad for wasting time in this old building, but he was glad the others were still willing to help. The trio decided to keep looking around the neighborhood, continuing their search for Boyfriend.

…

Hours. They had been searching for hours, and there was still no sign of Boyfriend anywhere. Pico felt his legs getting sore. He hadn't walked so much without stopping in a long time. Hex seemed unfazed, but maybe that was because robots couldn't get sore muscles. Whitty seemed a little tired, but didn't show signs of really slowing down. Pico really wanted to just power through it and be helpful, but his legs were in agony. He needed to sit down. It didn't help that it was past noon and he hadn't eaten much that day. "Hey guys. I need to sit down for a bit, my legs are killing me." Pico admitted, hopong the others would be cool about it. "Okay, let's take a break. We've been doing this all day." Whitty agreed. Hex noticed a bench in the distance. "Why don't you rest over there?" The robot offered, and the other boys agreed. The bench was a bit tall, Pico had to hop on to it. Whitty on the other hand had no such trouble, being the vertically-blessed giant he was. Pico was a little jealous. Pico let out a sigh. "Where the hell is that blue-haired dumbass?" Pico asked rhetorically, he was getting frustrated with this. He was worried, tired, and felt lost. He thought he knew Bf well, but he didn't know him well enough to predict this. "I wish I knew." Whitty added, sounding worried as well. Pico was thinking about what to say when his stomach growled loudly.

"Hungry, huh?" Whitty chuckled. "Fuck yes, I'm starving." Pico replied. "You know what? I'm gonna get lunch. You hungry?" Pico asked, standing up despite his legs begging him not to. "I'm always hungry, sure." Whitty chuckled again. "I'm never hungry!" Hex happily chirped. That time Pico chuckled. "Well, you could still come with us, even if you don't eat anything." Pico offered. "Thank you friend!" Hex smiled. "Cool." Pico gave a thumbs up. "So… where are we going?" Whitty asked, tilting his head a bit. He stood up, ready to follow Pico. "First to my car. Then I'll drive us to a restaurant or something." Pico explained, beginning to walk towards said vehicle. "Just a heads up, I parked a bit far, but it should only take, like, 20 minutes to get there." Pico warned, knowing the others (or at least Whitty) were tired as well. "No problem friend! Lead the way!" Hex declared enthusiastically. Whitty just shrugged and said "We've been walking for hours, 's not like 20 minutes will kill us." And just like that, they were off.

…

Pico, as promised, drove the three of them to a small diner that wasn't too far away. It was thankfully in a nicer neighborhood. The three sat together at a booth table near the back. Hex had powered off to regain some energy. More or less leaving Whitty and Pico alone.

"Hey, lunch is on me, k?" Pico stated. He had been paid generously on his last job, so he wasn't worried about meal prices. Whitty seemed caught off guard. "Uh, y-you don't have to do that-" "I insist." Pico bluntly interjected. Whitty again, tried to decline. "I shouldn't- you don't need to do that, really." Whitty stammered a bit. Pico doubled down on it. "I'm not budging on this man." Whitty tilted his head to the side curiously, but still seemed slightly flustered. "Why are you so persistent in paying for both of us?" Whitty asked. Pico shrugged. "I just want to thank you for all your help today. I've been stressed out trying to figure out where B is and I really appreciate you helping us out." Pico said earnestly, he was still really worried about Boyfriend. "I.. You're welcome. I'm not gonna lie, I care about him, and I'm worried for the guy. Last time I saw him, he seemed off." Whitty confessed, rubbing the back of his head. Pico's curiosity piqued a bit. "Off? In what wa-" ''Hello boys! Can I get you something to drink?" Pico was suddenly interrupted by their waitress. "Oh. Right. We should probably order something haha." Pico joked, chuckling a bit. "I'll take a Coke. What about you Whitty?" Pico asked, gesturing towards the taller male. "I'd just like water, please." Whitty replied, the waitress wrote their drink orders. "Okay. Are you ready to order your meals as well?" She asked sweetly. "I think we need a few minutes." Admitted Pico. "Okay, I'll give you some time to think about it and will be back with your drinks in a bit, okay?" Whitty and Pico politely thanked her and looked at their menus.

"What're you thinking of ordering?" Pico asked, he wondered what kind of food Whitty enjoyed. "I don't know. I'm still surprised that you're paying for both of us." Whitty responded unsurely. "It's all good man. I got it" Pico gave a reassuring smile. "I just want to warn you that I eat a LOT. I'm not exactly cheap to feed." Whitty warned, embarrassed. Pico chuckled, "I'm not exactly peckish, either." "I really mean it, Pico. I eat more than humans do." Whitty once again gave a disclaimer to Pico. "And I really mean it when I say I'll cover it. Just get what you want." Pico stated adamantly.

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"..."

"Are you sure?"

"Whitty if you ask me that again I'm gonna smack the shit out of you."

(To be continued…)

(I wanted to write more but this is long so I'm gonna break it into two chapters. The next one is gonna have more angst so I wanted to end this one on a bit of a lighter note

#fnf #friday night funkin #cursed! bf au #cursed!bf #fnf pico #fnf whitty #fnf hex #fnf girlfriend #fnf boyfriend #bombico #bf x pico #pico x whitty #if you squint #fanfic #two shot #where have you been?

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thehalfworld · 7 years

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Fanfic MST: Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation of Edward Cullen, a Twilight fanfic

I was talking to an online friend on Twitter not too long ago, and the subject of bad fanfiction came up. My friend had been reading “My Immortal” and losing his shit over it. I asked if he’d read “Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation of Edward Cullen” and it turned out he had not. He’d never even heard of it.

Indeed, while this story is one of the best-known badfics out there, it’s still considerably less popular than “My Immortal” is, and I think that’s a damn shame. This may be my personal favorite work of bad fanfiction; it’s a fantastic example of the “so bad it’s good” genre. Author BeckyMac666 writes like no other English-language writer has ever written, and this is both a good and a bad thing. She’s almost certainly a troll, given the blatant use of established badfic tropes and several parallels with “My Immortal,” but when you’re this good at being terrible it really doesn’t matter how serious you are about it.

For the record, there are folks who believe that this fic and “My Immortal” share an author, due to the aforementioned parallels. I personally don’t think that’s true, since the prose is very different, but if it amuses you to imagine that they’re written by the same person, be my guest.

Like virtually all Twilight badfic, this story is about a mysterious new girl arriving in Forks and shaking up Bella and Edward’s relationship by creating a love triangle. As usual, Bella is made out to be completely awful in the process, Jacob is largely forgotten about, and the protagonist may not be entirely human herself. This is far weirder, and more entertaining, than your average shitty Twilight fanfiction, though. Mark my words.

I first MSTed this fanfiction back on the old WordPress version of this blog, but, as that was a long time ago and I like to think I’m funnier nowadays, I rewrote most of my comments. It’s not wildly different, but hopefully it is an improvement over the old version.

AN hey guys this is the new improved verson of my story, hope its better this time!

I have no idea what the unedited version of this thing looked like, but I honestly can’t imagine it being any more ridiculous than the final story.

btw i am young and have dyslexia i find spellin hard but its meant2 be unformal ok !

Use spellcheck, you fool! Or get a proofreader!

no critisism pls!

Oops.

tis story goes out 2 my bf zac(kisses!) amd my besfreind Tiffi LOVE YA GRRRL!

The Tara parallel here is probably intentional. Zac never gets mentioned again, much like Tara’s boyfriend, but Tiffi isn’t Becky’s beta reader and they don’t have a spat partway through or anything of that sort.

EDWARD IS OUR GODD!(we wanna SEX him gud!)

Honestly, I think this is how all fanfiction should open. Just tell me straight-up what character you wanna bang before the story’s even started. Save us all some time.

love &blood becky mac! xxx x x xx

Aww. That’s kinda cute.

UPDATE: I have a proofreader and I have cleaned up the spelling and grammer on this chaptor a hell of a lot as you will see (thank u vickie!)

Yeah, Vickie, thank you. Looks like you’re doing a great job and you’ve got everything under control here.

i will be imrpoving the next chaptors soon.

Since this fic got “abandoned,” subsequent chapters have not actually been improved. Not that one can tell, anyway.

Altantiana

Yes, that is a typo of her OC’s name. Off to a great start.

Hey, my names Atlantiana Rebekah Loren (but everyone calls me Tiana or just plain Tiaa).

Virtually no one calls her Tiana during the course of the story. Just so you know. “Tiaa” isn’t a typo, either, though I have no idea why the author felt the need to add an extra A.

Notice the middle name? Subtle.

I am a 16 year old girl and I live in Forks, Washington!

This actually makes her a year younger than Bella, for the record.

My hair is long and pale like spun gold and skims to my waist like a pale shimmering amber mist.

It’s pale and it’s pale? Also, gold and amber are not the same color.

My eyes are deep forgetminot blue and my delicate fentures are lilly white and pure as the winter snow in moonlight.

I’ve been complimented on my fentures before too, but it’s nothing worth bragging about.

I've been told by loads of sleazy, ugly, HORNY guys that I'm real pretty and look like a model or a bunny girl (some of the guys who like me are really old and try to make opt with me its disgusting and weird!) but basically a lot of the girls I meet tell a different story.

Well, gee, after that modest description of yourself I’m shocked that boys think you’re attractive, Tiaa. You sounded so plain and ordinary.

Am guessing that the girls who don’t tell a different story are gay.

They say I'm too ivory white and ethereal and too skinny and that I look anorexic which i don't care about, but I think its seriously disrespectful to people with REAL eating disorders (btw i'm so totally not anorexic! I eat loads I just never gain weight and I'm not thin enough to be anorexic anyways, I think they were just being BIATCHES especially this one ratty brain called Ellie Mayfair who I hope freaking DIES in PAIN with SHIT ON HER FACE! Sorry, I'm not really such a batch but she is SO horrible if you met her you'd think the same!)

I hate when girls pick on me for being too ethereal.

Even though we’re using the “attractive character looks anorexic but isn’t” trope, and that’s obviously not so great, I guess it’s nice that Tiaa/Becky took the time to point out that the comparison is disrespectful to people who actually have anorexia or another eating disorder.

The bit about Ellie Mayfair is one of the best things I’ve ever read. I hope you guys all understand why I had to run this fic now.

Anyways I am quite tall and slim and but with really big boobs that I used to HATE because they look noticeable on my slender body and draw to much attention but now i like them and don't care who stares at me!

Ah, the “skinny yet improbably busty” body type. Strangely more common in fiction than in real life.

Tiaa totally does care who stares at her, by the way. As we’ll see shortly.

I have a lip ring and recently put black and indigo and magenta streaks in my long pale blond hair. I smell like mint and cinnamon.

I have no idea why we’re supposed to care about any of this, but I’m particularly unclear about why we should care what she smells like.

I wear mostly black and hot pink, deep purple and neon blue and listen to COOL music!

Tiaa’s specific music taste never comes up, to my recollection, but I’m betting My Chemical Romance is involved.

It is my first day at school in forks as I just moved here to live with new foster parents Dave and Marie. They are nice and all very hole some sweet people but it is not like having a real family.

Yeah, Tiaa is adopted. This is sort of plot-important later on, but we never get to learn much about her life prior to Dave and Marie.

I've been hurt to many times to let people close to me and I don't talk to them very much.

I mean… you just moved in with them.

My real mom died when I was born and I never knew my real dad. I sometimes wonder what he is like and if I will ever get to met him.

Foreshadowing!

Dave gave me a ride to school and I smiled faintly as he wished me good luck and I got out of the car and went into the school. Loads of people freaking stared at me as I walked down the hall.

Presumably because she’s too ethereal.

I was wearing tight black leather pants with silver chains at the waste and a red fishnet-like top and you could see my black lacy bra through it.

That could have something to do with why they’re staring.

I ignored whispers and the big pink cheerleader imbosils pointing at me. I was used to it and I paid no at-tension to the guys asking desperately for my number(like hell I'd even LOOK at the horny little donkeys!) and told a ditsy blond cheerleader called Jessica to STFU(!) when she called me a freak!

God I love this author’s writing style. Truly, no one has ever written like this, before or since. BeckyMac666 is one of the unsung geniuses of our time.

Next time she tries anything I'll hit her in the eye cause NO ONE messes with me nemore!

Most of the rest of the story is about various people messing with Tiaa. For the record.

My first day I was relay board, I sat gazing out of the window into the gray cloud-embittered sky for most of the morning, My teachers all looked at me disprovable but said nothing cause they probably new I was a foster kid and a Gothic and didn't want to upset me in case I cut them up as they slept,.

I’m a pretty big fan of the phrase “cloud-embittered,” although it is of course completely meaningless.

Hey, uh… why the hell hasn’t she gotten dress coded? I went to a private school and I guess our dress code was a bit stricter than most, but most high schools will get upset at teenage girls for not covering their knees and shoulders, let alone having any undergarments visible. Tiaa’s entire bra is showing through her fishnet top. This is a situation in which I think it’d be reasonable to ask her to change.

My ears are pierced four times, I have a tattoo of a scorpion(like S my birth-sign!) on my ankle and a Gothic cross on my shoulder, and on my hand i have a weird birthmark in the shape of a seven-pointed star that I've had all my life.

I don’t know why we’ve gone right back to (over)describing Tiaa, but I do think I should delete my entire OkCupid bio and replace it with this opening chapter.

Your probably wandering why I'm bothering to tell you this, well I tell you now I am no ordinary sixteen year old girl.

Could’ve fooled me!

I have a secret, a dark and forbidden secret witch I am only just beginning to understand. When I sleep I hear whispers in another language and even though I understand them at the time, when I wake up i can't remember it!

That’s nothing. I had a dream once where I explained the meaning of Nirvana lyrics to somebody (obviously not possible in real life), and I couldn’t remember my explanation when I woke up either.

I also see weird faces in my dreams that fade to nothingness when I open my eyes and I swear out the corner of my eye my birthmark glows shocking bright gold and gets relay hot sometimes but when I look properly it is back to normal boarding scar-color!

I’d like to remind you that this is set in the Twilight universe. It’s already got magical creatures, and there are rules established about their abilities, appearances, and behavior. Tiaa is clearly not quite human, but she doesn’t seem to be a vampire, a half-vampire, or a werewolf. She’s completely unique within her universe, for no defined reason, and the rules governing other nonhumans don’t apply to her.

Like, the physical description and the obvious homage to “My Immortal” already made it clear that this girl is a Mary Sue, but this author clearly gets that Sue status isn’t just about looking unreasonably pretty. It’s about defying the rules of canon. Tiaa’s outstanding at that, as you’ll see later on.

I am really gracefull like the running anti-lopes when I run very fast and am stronger and faster than most people.

God, what a sentence.

I used to just think i was relay athletic but now I'm not so sure, I think there might be something else at work, something so much more mysterious and eeire.

Something like… bad writing?

The truth hovers so softly on the brink of my memory sometimes but if only i could remember the weird things that clung to the edge of my mind as I slept!

There are so many bad fanfics where the prose is bare-bones, with few or no adjectives/adverbs and simple sentence structure. BeckyMac666 tends in the opposite direction, and it’s awesome. Everything is phrased as though it’s super dramatic, nonsense metaphors abound, and our author has clearly never met an adjective she didn’t like. Hey @ aspiring trollfic authors: take note. This is how you write an entertaining badfic.

At lunch I sat alone in the corner and scanned the cafeteria quietly with my eyes smoldering dark blue beheath my long black lashes and my slim thighs curled under me.

Also a big fan of how Tiaa always talks about herself as though she’s checking herself out.

It was the n I noticed an unbelievably jaw-droopingly hawt HAWT HAAAAAAAAWT dude with tusseted blondey-brown hair, golden yellow eyes like wells of hot caramel and pale sexy features. He was tall and mussel and looked like he was wearing eyeliner and my body got hot and cold all at once as I looked at him.

Kind of like an erection only she’s a girl so she didn’t get one you sicko.

I'd never felt this way about anyone before and I'd totally never felt this weird feeling that I'd met someone before but I had no idea where and i knew it was impassible because I'd freaking remember someone THAT hawt!

Foreshadowing! Again!

A girl sat next to him with long brown hair with her arms dripped over him like a freaking flesh-eating plant so i thought well whatevah, hes taken.

Straight-up one of the greatest similes I’ve ever seen. Like, I study English literature and I don’t think I’ve ever read a metaphor better than that one. I’m not joking, it’s brilliant.

She wasn't nearly as hawt as he was, she wasn't ugly though. I figured I was maybe prettier then her. I never really saw myself as beautiful but i'd guessed from thinks others had said, plus this girl wasn't great looking but anyways I'd never try to pilch with another girls' BF cause thats just low.

The modesty act might be a little more convincing if we hadn’t just read several paragraphs of Tiaa talking about how hot she is.

So I got up to leave the hall thinking I'd go and smoke some bald drugs in the locker room while no one was there.

Hey, what’s a “bald drug”? I go to a liberal arts college and I’ve watched the entirety of Breaking Bad multiple times, so you think I’d have heard of it.

As I waked over to he exit I couldn't help but notice the hawt pale guys musky eyes as they met mine.

Musk is a substance some male animals secrete for scent-marking purposes. The word comes from the Sanskrit for “scrotum.” Thought you all should know.

I locked away hurriedly. I smocked dope in the locker room for a bit then I wondered to my next class.

This bitch just hotboxed a locker room on her first day of school.

I bumped into someone in the corridor and my bocks fell everywhere! FRICK! FRICK! FRIIIICKK!

Remember that this is the beta-read version of the chapter.

"WTF!" I screamed loudly, "watch where your FREAKING going you asshole!" (i have anger problems)

So you know how self-insert characters, particularly Sues, often have self-proclaimed “anger issues”? I wanna talk about that, actually, because it’s a trope I see not only in fanfiction but in published fiction, and it honestly bugs me.

In real life, anger issues are a totally legitimate character flaw, and one that can have serious negative consequences in-universe. A character with a bad temper may make rash decisions, screw up their relationships with others, have trouble holding down a job, get in trouble with the law, and so on; people who have anger problems are often mentally ill and/or traumatized, too, and the anger may be just the tip of the iceberg. Many morally ambiguous characters, well-written ones, have trouble with anger. There’s nothing wrong with this trope when it’s executed correctly.

In the hands of a less-than-competent writer, however, anger issues are the opposite of a problem, because the character’s show of anger will invariably cause others to back down or apologize and there will be no negative consequences. Writing a character who’s so sweet and charming that they always get their way has exactly the same effect, but as that trope falls out of style “anger issues” has taken its place and the authors who write these characters have no idea that they’re doing the same thing as the trope they thought they were avoiding.

Of course, this is the work of a troll, and the use of this trope is almost certainly intentional, but there are way too many authors who employ it unironically as a way to give a “flaw” to a character that even they realize is bordering on unrealistic.

"I'm so so sorry" he said in a voice like wet heaven "please forgive me my lady”

Author’s so fond of weird phrases that I have no idea whether or not “wet heaven” is intended as innuendo.

It was the hawt pale guy!

Dun dun dunnnn!

Next chapter

#forbidenfruit.mst #fandom:twilight #halfworld.mst

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likeabulletyoucanhurtme · 5 years

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Unintentionally festive movie review now. To All A Goodnight

I decide I want to watch films from listicles and stupid articles posted from facebook. I decide to do reviews/re-action blogs/liveblog posts, not because of the film but just if I have time/effort to put in. I'm watching this obviously christmas themed film in August (though i have no idea when I'll post this), the irony being that I don't actually watch Christmassy things at Christmas time. Its two years ago and girls are running around a house being chased by someone with an axe, unsure if this is a real threat or some weird sorority game One just fell over a bannister and is presumably dead but none of the others have time to react as the title sequence is starting, still confused if this was a game or not? Now it's present day and students are leaving for Christmas vacations in weather that looks brighter than Scotland in the summer. One of the girls left behind would rather spend christmas in a cave than with her mother, neglecting the fact that she doesn't need to do either because she's staying on campus with her friends so I don't really know why this is brought up Ominous music while a pair of hands put on gloves and take a knife from a drawer, the five girls and the sorority mother are at dinner so whoever this killer is we know straight away it's not one of the students There's a brunette with an obviously English posh style accent, not sure why she's at an american university Another girl has her boyfriend flying his daddies plane over for a booty call... maybe the university has a private runway? Or is he gonna walk from the airport? There's a sixth student called Cynthia who apparently wasn't feeling well and isn't hungry, maybe she's the killer then? Nevermind, Cynthia's sneaking away with her boyfriend Paul so is probably not planning on murdering her fellow sorority sisters. Cynthia is getting ready to leave right in front of her window and Paul is missing the free show because he's smoking-idiot. Don't worry, the audience gets to see naked boobs because you can't have a film about female university students and not show some boobs, it's like a law. Seriously though Cynthia if you're skipping dinner to wait for Paul you should've been ready by now. Paul's shouting at the house as if they're not trying to sneak out in the middle of the night. Paul's now been caught by the gloved hands, you know if Cynthia had been ready and he'd been quieter they could've been away already and possibly survived, oh well I wonder how the hands managed to sneak out and get behind Paul so quickly without any of the other students realising Students at dinner are now saying "God bless whoever built that airstrip" so that answers that question. Rich bf is expected at midnight because it's obviously going to be more dramatic that way. Clocks chiming as he walks in the door, dude plans on making an entrance. Cynthia finally sneaks out a door and not her window and two feet later is stabbed in the chest. There's no scream just a weak moan as if she's fell over. Definitely not our killer One of the girls thinks she saw something outside but she's the outsider and the others don't believe her. I wonder how she saw something cause it doesn't look like they're near any windows, and why didn't the person beside her see anything? Another girl is getting something from a room and the English one asks her to bring back the Chanel, because she simply must smell good while eating dessert? A tall strange dude with garden shears appears from nowhere talking about god and plants, obvious learning difficulties and religious = suspect in an 80s horror film. I don't think it's him though he's not wearing gloves Sorority mother starts clearing plates away and none of the students are helping. Universities teaching life skills and good manners since like never. Girls start taking the piss out of the gardener dude as he walks through their dining room, outsider girl (Nancy) doesn't seem to be laughing with them. Good on you Nancy! One girl says their gonna do the dishes for the House Mother so she can go to bed, an obvious ploy to get her to bed so they can have an orgy with the rich bf when he gets there Oh, not only do they want her to bed they're actually drugging her, and joking that she might never wake up. Nice to know they're so appreciative of her. The girls are going in the halfdark to meet the plane. One says he's early and they'll have more time to *muffled*, but when it lands she says he's late. Make up your mind woman! Bfs friends are all dressed like Santa because something about this has to be Christmassy somewhere. Bf is kinda rude to the pilot, probably forgetting that it's his dad's plane and his dad who will be paying the pilot and not him. I hope the pilot tells the dad about this 'secret' flight One of the guys has brought an acoustic guitar. Like, could you not. This is always the worst at parties. At least they've taken off the Santa suits... Also this isn't really quiet and secret anymore, no one's even checked if the House Mother is sleeping Another dude starts on about medical procedures. Dude with those glasses and that shirt you need better game. English girl is going to get alcohol but for all of them they'd need a good few cases and the fridge is tiny. Bet the guys didn't even bring any, this party sucks! Killer is now in a Santa suit, before it was just gloves but since the bfs friends were in suits I think he's borrowed one of theirs English girl wants to be taken to bed but instead she gets her throat cut. No struggling at all although her eyes did roll back. Gardenerman Ralph tells Nancy to go to bed and lock her doors, he can't be the killer he's still in the same clothes as earlier One dude Tom wonders where English girl has went and someone says maybe she left him, like you're in her Sorority where she stays, where would she go? Tom ends up outside and finds English girls body before being attacked by the evil Santa. Decides not to call for help or run away but to try and fight, what an idiot. Tom gets bashed with a rock and there's a sort of close up that would be gruesome if it wasn't a cheap 80s film and the face is in so much darkness you can't see anything. Santa buries at least one, possibly both, maybe even all four of his victims bodies, it's not really clear. Back inside guitar guy is making out with one of the girls that’s left. She probably figured if she kisses him at least he's not trying to sing Medical student is fidgeting awkwardly while looking at the other girl sitting right beside him, obviously too scared to move. They're now going to bed, and it looks as though medical student is going to be taken advantage of. Posh bf is topless in bed while his girl is singing and doing ballet twirls, because that’s why he took his dads plane; to see her dance... The girl meets Nancy going to the kitchen and says she might marry this one, Nancy says its a bit sudden. Obviously not some long term relationship they're in, but that just begs the question why did this guy fly a plane specifically to meet her? And how did they arrange this in the days before Snapchat? The girl and Nancy are going to the fridge and step in English girls blood, the girl thinks its Ralph’s and leaves while Nancy starts to clean. Nancy's like the only semi-decent one here. Also I bet none of them have actually done the dishes they said they would Girl is making a lot of noise in bed with posh bf and unsure if she's meant to be orgasming or sneezing Nancy, with her milk, is now outside and watches them for a while. Creepy much? Girl with guitar player are naked on the floor in like the living room and suddenly he gets and arrow through the head and her head is chopped off with an axe. Killer is no longer dressed as Santa but in a suit of armour that was in the room, mixing things up a little. Nancy wanders back to her room and doesn't seem to notice the bloodstain on her window. Ralph suddenly comes in through the large window/door and starts telling her somethings up. It doesn't feel right that the gardener has such easy access to teenage girls rooms at a university even if in this film he isn't the killer. Ralph leaves through the door this time, after giving Nancy a bible and telling her to pray repeatedly. He may not be a killer but he's still a bit weird. Santa boots are digging again, is there two killers or do they just like repeated costume changes? Maybe it was too heavy to walk around in chainmail? At this point I'm not sure who the killer is but I am guessing it must relate back to the girl killed in the chase two years ago. Some unknown family member maybe, because if it doesn't relate back then there'd be no point in that start. Medical students trying to read and his girl is basically pressuring him into sex. He tried to get away so badly he fell off a bed. If a guy was acting like this to a girl it'd be classed as rape. It's the next day and breakfast time, the survivors are planning a picnic and don't even know what happened to the rest yet. House mother has woken up after being drugged, and doesn't mention the dishes so I assume someone did them at some point, possibly Nancy House mother doesn’t question any of the guys being there.. Medical student is less awkward and more outgoing, so doesn't seem to be traumatised by his rape yet. He says Nancy is cute and she denies it repeatedly, obviously he remembers what its like being the outsider and possibly appreciates her looks more than the obvious heavily madeup face of his abuser. Nancy's denying it due to an ingrained low self esteem, compounded by living 24/7 with the other bitchy students. Nancy falls over Ralph’s body in the woods. This wasn't buried like the others and he was alive in the background as they had breakfast so its unsure when he got killed. Rich bf asks the chief of police if he has to tell their parents. Like someone (well one that they know of) has been murdered! The police have protocol to follow and don't care if you'll get in trouble with daddy you dumb fuck. Apparently Ralph has a record for assault and robbery, I wonder why the university didn't do a background check on their gardener before they hired him. Police chief leaves some officers at the house to stand guard and warns them not to touch the students, sounds like he doesn't have much faith in them... Nancy and medical student think the killers still about because the others are still missing. The others leave them alone, I sense he's switching his attentions to her instead of his abuser. She's the nicest one, you should be with her! In saying that though medical student dude is one of the four close enough to rich prick to be brought on the plane. He must be at least part asshole to be included in that group House mother isn't concerned about the killer and says she has a rolling pin to protect herself. I think it's really her. The abusers getting changed but this time there's not even any sideboob. I guess they've filled their quota Posh bf hears his girl laughing in her room with the police officer but he can't say anything as he's been getting closer to medical students abuser. Santa is taking out an axe, Nancy and medical student are right to be worried! Policeman on patrol asks Santa what theyre doing in that dumb outfit and the axe is firmly planted in his head. That greeting suggests its someone he knew though so it must be the House Mother Policeman who was inside is now in the students bed and they're both naked, or topless at least. Guess he didn't listen to the chief earlier Also nothing was exposed of her apart from her shoulders, definitely used up all their sexual quota Nevermind, you can see boobs just as shes about to get in the shower...before doing a weird kinda half scream thing because there's a decapitated head hanging in the shower. At this point police man comes in knifed in the back, however Santa has another knife with which to shut this bitch up Rich bf and the abuser are outside which seems stupid since the police chief told them to stay inside, however given killer santa's in one of the bathrooms maybe its good their outside Somehow while theyre kissing Santa has managed to come outside, climb up the tree they're standing at, and loop a wire around his neck and is strangling him... How that did not make enough noise to be noticed is a mystery I fear will not be explained Abuser runs to the door and eventually Nancy and medical student let her in. They go to warn house mother but her rooms empty - its obviously her now! Medical student tries to call help but literally as he picks up the phone Santa cuts the wire, good timing on Santas part there Posh boys original girl who did it with the policeman is called Leia, and is apparently still alive. She's singing and doing ballet again because that’s what you do when you find a decapitated head in your shower then watch a policeman get murdered Santa’s here again and takes off the mask, it is the house mother = knew it! Apparently her daughter was the one that fell at the start of the film, she's blaming Nancy but Nancy says this is her first year so she possibly just blames them all. This doesn't explain why she didn't kill Leia in the shower though? Abuser run out to get rich pricks pilot to fly them away and Santas run after her, again ignoring Leia who's still doing ballet While the pilot#s trying to fix the plane Santa has somehow sneaked past and is inside the cockpit. Santa runs the engines on and propellor kills the pilot, maybe abuser too you don't see anything just blood on the windsheild (Leland loves his blood on the windshield!!) The killers back in the house searching for Nancy, again ignoring Leia who's twirling in the living room Where's medical student? Last I seen of him he was trying to use the phone! Killers now fell off the balcony, like mother like daughter, but seems like she's still alive Another santa brings her body in and its the police chief. That's her husband, and now she's dead he wants to kill Nancy. Medical student pops up from somewhere and shoots this santa with a crossbow he got from somewhere... He runs away with Nancy and Leia remains doing ballet as the credits take over because why not?

#film #review #liveblogging #festive #christmas film #xmas #horror #To All A Goodnight #slasher #guessed the killer #sorority girls #nudity because reasons #thoughts

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guillermobroderi-blog · 6 years

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amateur pics galleries - Kids Love Amateur Nude Galleries

For those who haven't read my previous stories I'm Kai () my wife is Haley () the bf Ian is ( I think now) and my fwb Laura is about . . If you don't understand Texas Hold em you may need to look up some bits. . "Two pair on Queens" smiled Ian as the sandy haired and broad shouldered guy placed his cards down on the amateur nude galleries table. Haley and I had folded when Laura and Ian started bidding stupidly out of nowhere. The hands can't have been that good as they were looking apprehensive right up to the river then went crazy. Presumably both had a Queen in hand. Laura my raven haired, amber skinned and large chested fwb purred "Don't beat my witches honey" as she dropped her pair of Queens onto the table with a smirk. . "Well shit." Cursed Ian with a smirk "I thought I had you." . "She plays hard to get." I said with a mixture of pride and playfulness. Although Laura soon became the biggest cock tease my seduction of her was years in the making as we worked side by side. It was only months before she left our high-stress business (where there's a lot of chill out sex on foreign trips etc between certain members of staff) amatuer blogs that she turned the tables on me and got me hanging on a line. . "Don't you know it." purred Laura who was feeling the effect of the wine. She reached over and gave my thigh a squeeze and I kissed her full lips with a lot more tenderness than usual. We are thinking of going official bf/gf status and after a deliberate long settling time on my part I know Haley isn't just happy but kind of excited. It's been over years since I had a partner other than her. We have been poly for about years. . "We'll get the drinks." I said nodding to Ian and we went to the kitchen. . "Shit I lost my lead." said Ian he had some early luck but was only barely ahead of Haley and I with Lauras last win taking her into the lead. . "You bet stupid to get stupid." I said. "You are good at seeing the basic signals but you have to look at body language. If Haley hasn't got shit she folds. If she might have something she looks like shes doing arithmetic when the flop goes down. If she has something good she has a wide eyed look for a second then goes quiet and relaxed on the flop then starts to flirt on the turn." . "This isn't a team game you know?" He flirted (although he is straight he has no problem flirting with me or our bi/gay friends to be charming and playful). "Why are you doing this?" . "One, because I hate to see you embarrass yourself. Two, because if they take you out they will gang up on me. Three, you know what kind of things might happen if we gain the upper hand." Ian had heard about other games in which nudity and sexual favours were only the start. . "I hear ya. What about Laura." He said with a little extra interest. Ian had never seen what was under the hood with Laura and I don't know what Haley had told him but he was aware that Laura has fucked Haley and when we have all gone out together Laura has always dressed to please and not hesitated to be hands on with Haley and I. A few weeks ago at a reataurent Laura and Haley kissed to piss off a judgemental couple on the next table. . "Laura is more difficult." I said. "She will only look at her cards once and won't pour on the honey until the river goes down. Same method every time but it works. If she is aggressive with her flirting then she's carrying a bomb. Walk away. If she's looking turned on and excited and I mean that she's looking like she wants to reach over and pull your cock out then she's not sure which way it's going to go and that excites her. She's most alive when she doesn't know if she's going to win big or going to have to suck cock to get to the next round." . "Noted." Ian smiled but his wide open eyes told me more. Those eyes would help me though out the game. Every time he thought he had one over on the girls they widened. Every time he had something on the flop they widened. Fuck I love poker. . I'll not bore you with a round by round tale of the game but we played as only we can. The alcohol changed our signals and our flirting and distraction got worse. The girls started trading sex stories and a comparison of sex toys got Ian rattled karup com until I kicked him under the table. I teased the girls on the other hand by telling Ian a few facts about them which got him looking at Laura like he had x-ray eyes and looking at Haley as if to say "I'm doing that to you next time we are alone." He did the boner shuffle a few times and the occasional heaving chest from Laura or bitten lip from Haley showed the whole table was heating up. I was a little drunk on power and my competitive edge was taking over. . Laura went aggressive but I was sitting on a full house and I think me saying "I'm not pulling out" had an effect on her (especially in front of other people). She went from aggressive to reckless and the look on her face as I won was priceless. She was suddenly without her chip advantage and powerless against two guys who looked about to bend her over the table and her female fuck buddy who could at times be worse than both of us. For Laura the game just became awesome. I was in a position I love. Double the chips of the next player and able to control the field. . The next hand of mine wasn't great but I knew how to use it. I bet slow and steady until Laura who clearly had something pushed her advantage. Then I called over her chip value and Ian joined Haley in folding. . "You shit." Laura said and sighed. "Okay. How much for the top." and she tugged at her halterneck to illustrate the point at which point I think Ian stopped breathing. . "" I said. "Fuck off they are worth at least " . "" I said. "I wanted " she retorted. "To get those tits out I'd pay " I growled lustily and she blushed while Haley bit her lip. . Laura pressed on "all in" which beat my bet and shrieked when I said "fold" before she could finish what she was saying. It was clear that I played only to get her top off and because I folded my cards remained unseen. She reached for my cards but I shuffled them away with a bastard grin. . "I'll buy back my top" she said half heartedly. "It's mine now" I replied and grinned to Ian as he took in the glorious sight of her tits straining against one of her best set of D cups. . The mood of the game was set now and Ian and I hussled and picked on Laura until Haley waded in to help her. Laura was in knickers and bra by the time Haley started to put bid pressure on every hand we pushed so we ended up fighting her. Being that she knows me well Haley flushed out every bluff and stood hard against every amateur nude galleries press so it didn't look as scary. Soon enough my lead was halved and despite Ian now being topless we were all still very much in the game. . It was Haley and I having strong hands at the same time that provided the next break. I had another full house and I now know so did she. We were so engrossed sizing each other up that I almost missed the fact the river turned mine into a low straight flush. I threw most my chips at Haley but I have bluffed this way before and she has since learned not to let it intimidate her. . "I'll go all in but I want to make it count. How much for the dress?" She said. She was wearing a low cut one piece that showed off her curves perfectly. By going down to bra and knickers she would get as much attention as Laura but also maximise what she thought was her win. . "I have a skirt and top I'm only interested in a pair of knickers for my collection." I said. " if you take them off. if Laura takes them off you. if I get to." . "That's not how it works! And if it did you'd have to add to each of those prices!" She whined but didn't have much heart in it. . "You are selling your clothes in a card game. The only rules are you can only sell to those who haven't folded. Okay for you, for Ian, for Laura and for me." I grinned. . "Twat!" She railed but then she smirked and purred to Laura "Be a darling and remove my knickers will you?" Laura knelt in front of my wife and looked up at her like she looks up at me before sucking my cock then slipped her hands up Haleys dress. Haley gasped and then looked at Laura with a stimulated mock angry look and then let her pull her underwear down. Laura then gasped as she looked at the knickers and handed them to me. No wonder. They were soaked. I watched Laura sit back down and chew her nails but as she saw me looking she looking she showed me that she was licking her fingers. . The game went on but with more hands under the table action than before. Mostly between Ian and Haley anD separately me and Laura. There were a few moments when we would go to get drinks in various combinations that things would happen. Laura went with Ian and bent over perfectly to get a glass showing him everything. I Went with Laura, pinned her against the wall and ran my finger along the length of her wet cunt then sucked my finger before leaving the kitchen. Haley kissed Ian while his hands got busy under her dress. The girls went and did something I still don't know about but we put a minute time limit on fetching drinks afterwards. . The game was drawing to a close and Ian was in his boxers hiding a hard on due to Laura being topless. The ante kept doubling and we knew that at some point someone had to get desperate. Ian had a hand over Laura with her facing bankruptcy again. She sat back and put her hands on her hips outlining the only piece of clothing she had on and said "what's the deal stud?". Ian spluttered and said "how much are those worth?". I chimed in before he got an answer and said "at this stage in the game clothes aren't the only thing on offer if you can get a hall pass from Haley you might be able to negotiate a minute kissing and sucking those epic tits". Ian couldn't answer so Haley leaned across the table to me and said "he always gets a hall pass because he's a gentleman and not a cheeky bastard like you. You have too much of a chip lead so I say. Fuck. The. Game." As she said the last she pushed my chips off the table and onto the floor. . She turned to Laura taking control of the situation and said "you want my boyfriend to suck your breasts babe?" and Laura moaned "uh huh". Not missing a beat my amazing wife turned to Ian and said "suck them". Ian got busy with shaking hands as Haley sat on the floor in front of him and in full view of Laura and I pulled out his cock and sucked it. Laura made eye contact at me and mouthed "oh my god" and I sat back to see the show as I finished off my whiskey. Lauras head tipped back but she looked at me again for a second with a scared look on her face as she mouthed "I love you". She visibly melted when I mouthed "I love you too". The first time we said this to each other was with her tits being sucked by my wife's bf while my wife is giving him head. With a laugh Laura let her head roll back and her fingers went into her knickers. . Haley on the other hand was giving Ian the full porn star deep throat experience and she was sat on the floor with her knees up giving me an exclusive look at her perfect wet cunt under her dress. I finished my whiskey and lifted my wife by the ass and threw her onto the table face down. I lifted her dress giving Ian and Laura a good view of her toned ass then I gripped her buttocks so her pussy gaped at them. After checking their reactions I pulled out my cock and buried in her. Haley wailed and grabbed onto the table because she knew from my rough grip what was coming. I pounded her soaked little slit with every ounce of my strength. I gripped her dress like a harness and ripped the shoulders down so her tits popped out and when I later grabbed her shoulders our guests had a great view of her head back and tits out like the sculpture of a goddess on the prow of a ship while I slammed deep into her. I could've finished quicker in an intense quickie but I settled into a slamming pace and Haley took the message and wailed out the horniest sounds. Ian and Laura were playing with themselves and smiling at each other. Ian was brave enough to play with her breasts but at some point Laura grabbed his cock and played with it a while. When it came for me to finish I pounded harder and harder then in one movement pulled out and shot a load over Haleys ass. I pulled Haley around to continue the show and suck me clean but Laura intercepted with a "No!" and dove on my cock eagerly sucking off our juices. Ian kept pumping at his cock grunting "fuck, oh my, fuck!" but Haley took his hands off his prick and straddled him while kissing him passionately. He calmed slightly and she said "you wanna fuck?" He nodded frantically and she got off him saying "it's my turn for a show. Fuck her." . Laura and Ian looked at each other like rabbits in headlights and Laura.looked at me where I shrugged in a "I'm cool" gesture. Laura then dropped her knickers and sat on the table, she parted her pussy with her fingers and started finger fucking amatuer hardcore pics herself and said "you want this?". Ian didn't need any www karups com more encouragement and walked up shoving his thick cock straight into her. She cried out and fell back as he started pumping away at this new pussy for the first time. Haley and I started kissing and playing with each other while the others got into pace. Once they got into it Haley walked up to Ian, pressed her tits against him and grabbed his ass pushing it into my new gf. She was whispering nasty little things into his ear which made him go crazy. I walked up to Laura and just started kissing her and when he started pounding her as hard as I pounded Haley she gripped onto my neck. We stopped kissing long enough for her to stutter out "loving you - is going to be - an adventure" and we carried on kissing and gripping each others hands. . "Gonna CUM!" bellowed Ian and Laura wailed "Where?" to Haley. Haley got a nasty horny look on her face and snarled "in her babe. Fill this little slut full of cum!" She kissed Laura and started sucking Lauras tits to send Ian over. He seemed ready to bottle it and I yelled "go on" and Laura screamed "do it!". The long low grunt told us all that he had just filled her with his load. Without missing a beat Haley pushed Ian away and started lapping at Lauras cunt to finish the show. . Normally this is where I'd say that this is where Haley and I went home and whispered like naughty children about it for the rest of the night fucking on and off until we passed out. We didn't. In a flash decision Haley went back to Ians and I went back to Lauras. Laura and I must have said I love you times each and as many times Haley and I have exchanged texts saying the same. Laura and I keep waking up, making love like crazed teenagers and falling asleep in each others arms. . It's going to be an interesting . . Haley sent me "pity you didn't suck Lauras juices off Ians cock". "He'd freak" I said. "He didn't dislike the idea when I was talking about it but I was pumping my pussy with my fingers at the time" she replied. . It's going to be a REALLY interesting

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