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#and sirius is just. horribly confused and baffled but also pleased
padfootastic · 7 months
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exam szn is coming up which obviously means ore distractions, as everyone knows. so what better than to come back to tumblr lol so many tag games etc piling up that i wanna dooooooo
so. let’s have a lil snippet time!
thanks for the tag @in-flvx 💜 this one’s from a wip that was supposed to have been finished & posted for jilypad week but,,,,here we are,,,,,
“Sirius!” Lily exclaims. “We were looking for you.”
“Oh?” He presses a quick kiss to her cheek before bending down to pick Harry up, who immediately cuddles into his arms with a tired sigh. Poor baby, must’ve been exhausted by all the excitement at the beach.
“Yeah, regarding tonight—“ Sirius gulped quietly at the way she said that “—Your room is a bit…messy, I’m sorry. We were reorganising and well, y’know how it goes…”
She shrugs apologetically but all Sirius can think about is how she called it ‘his room’. Not the guest room, not the spare, but his room. Sirius’. He once again pushes past the mushy feelings that rise in him at that little distinction.
“Oh, it’s—it’s fine, I can just take the couch, no problem.” Even if his feet tend to hang off the end, and the edges are a bit lumpy, it’s fine. He resolutely doesn’t think about his comfortable Alaskan King at home.
“Of course you can’t!” Lily scowls at him. “We’re not gonna put you in a couch in your own house, Sirius.”
There it was again, the reference to him belonging here. It was a bit presumptuous, slightly possessive but Sirius was a dog at heart, he was never going to turn down ownership.
“Er—the nursery, then?” he asks, confused.
“What, crammed up in Harry’s crib beside him?” she says with a scoff, “Don’t be silly.”
Sirius blinks. “Where am I sleeping then?”
“With us, of course.” He jumps at the voice booming from behind him, clutching Harry tighter to his chest, whirling around to find James munching on a carrot.
“Where did you come from?” Sirius mutters under his breath before straightening up and saying, louder, “And what do you mean with you?”
“Well, like Lily said,” and here he sends a meaningful, entirely undecipherable, look towards his wife who…blushes? “Your room’s temporarily indisposed, the couch isn’t even an option—don’t give me that look, you barely fit on the thing—and the floor is gonna mess up your back worse than it is.”
“Oi!”
“So, our room it is.”
Right. Of course. Because that’s the obvious conclusions. How could he say no?
(Again, he can’t so he doesn’t)
It’s twenty minutes later, after Harry’s been put to bed, thoroughly kissed by his parents and godfather, after James is done with his nighttime turmeric milk and Lily’s put her hair up into braids and Sirius has taken out all his rings and chains and bracelets—that’s when he’s stumped by yet another problem.
How, exactly, are they going to sleep in one bed?
“We’re just going to expand it a little, Pads, don’t worry,” James says, supremely unconcerned.
He goggles at that, staring at the casual wand work. A part of him wonders why this is the extent of magic they’re using to solve this problem—James can conjure a bed Silenced, with his eyes closed—but promptly decides to not dwell on that for everyone’s sake.
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On the Mend. Part 2
Harry Potter AU
Link to Part 1 
Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader. Sirius Black x Remus Lupin 
Rating: M- later chapters
Song in Chapter: The Night We Met by Lord Huron 
______
I am not the only traveler Who has not repaid his debt I've been searching for a trail to follow again Take me back to the night we met
And then I can tell myself What the hell I'm supposed to do And then I can tell myself Not to ride along with you
I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don't know what I'm supposed to do, haunted by the ghost of you Oh, take me back to the night we met
When the night was full of terrors And your eyes were filled with tears When you had not touched me yet Oh, take me back to the night we met
I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don't know what I'm supposed to do, haunted by the ghost of you Take me back to the night we met
Walking into the house, you immediately smelled Regulus’ cologne. You fought the urge to turn and run out of the house. It didn’t matter how much your heart was screaming to run to the man and never let him go. You had to think with your head this time. Renee deserved that much. She didn’t deserve to be torn between two parents. The child also didn’t need to see Regulus hurt you over and over again.
Your mind was also on Ambrosia Parkinson...Black...whatever her last name was now. What if she and Regulus repaired their relationship? Would she be unkind to Renee? What if she wasn’t? The 13-month-old wouldn’t be able to tell you if her stepmother was cruel. Would Regulus even pay enough attention to notice anything strange? Something told you, no.
The better question was how would Ambrosia handle the news that Regulus had a child with another woman? You smirked at the thought of the whole Black family having a major hissy fit because Regulus royally fucked up. Regulus went and knocked up the “Potter girl.” You could see Walburga’s scowl in your mind. The horrible woman would either be on the floor screaming or burning Regulus’ name off of the family tapestry. What a scandal that would be! Sirius was already gone, now her youngest “good” son had sunk to a whole new level of low.
Regulus was lucky that James wasn’t alive right now. Your older brother would have probably tried to kill him by now. James would definitely not sit back and leave it to his best friends to help raise Renee. He would have gone to Grimmauld Place and hexed Regulus until he left Ambrosia to take care of his responsibility.
You had to shake the thoughts of James from your mind. If you wanted to face Regulus and not be sobbing you had to stop thinking of your brother. Regulus didn’t deserve you taking that wrath out on him. He didn’t have anything to do with James or Lily’s deaths.
The hallway to the sitting room was dark. You took a few deep breaths before stepping in. Both Regulus and Remus immediately stood when you walked in. Regulus was paler than you remembered as he opened his mouth to speak a few times but nothing came out. He was still the same handsome boy that you loved so much.
Your attention went to Remus, who was nervously looking between the two of you.
“Remus, we have insurance on this place...right?”
Remus nodded, slightly confused.
“Yes. Why?”
You reached over for the vase that was sitting on the table beside you. Right away you started throwing whatever you could get your hands on at Regulus. Whether it be the shock of you coming after him so violently or something else, Regulus didn’t move quick enough and was pelted by several objects. Finally, he resumed his quick seeker’s reflexes and started smacking stuff away from him as you tossed it.
Remus jumped back, not about to get hit before yelling for Sirius. By the time Sirius put the baby in her playpen and ran into the living room, you had your wand out and was hurling hexes at Regulus. Sirius blinked a few times as Regulus quickly dodged whatever you threw his way.
“A little help here?”
Regulus snapped toward his brother, who shrugged.
“She’s being a lot nicer than I would be.”
Sirius wasn’t about to step in on this one. In his mind, you deserved the right to do whatever you wanted. Remus, meanwhile, quickly wrapped his arms around you from behind.
“Think about Renee. I know that you are hurt and angry but this is her father. Please...this is not you Y/n.”
He whispered in your ear. Remus kept his voice low enough so that only you would hear. You trembled a few times before lowering your wand and putting it in Remus’ outstretched hand. Remus gave you a gentle smile before turning to the wrecked living room.
Regulus meanwhile, looked slightly scared as you turned to face him. He expected you to be hostile but he didn’t expect to get attacked. This behavior wasn’t you. Regulus decided that he had himself to blame for this extreme change in character and he hated it!
You were still the beautiful girl that he had fallen in love with during 6th year. Everything about you was the same. You still had those hazel eyes that could change shades by your mood. There were those full lips that were screaming to be kissed. Everything about you was what Regulus wanted and needed. Only now he was afraid that you would never accept what he had to offer...which wasn’t much.
“What are you doing here?”
You asked, coldly. Regulus regained his calm composure. Moments before he was close to panicking himself. There was no way that he had control of what you had just done to him but maybe if he could just speak...
“I needed to talk to you.”
You narrowed your eyes.
“There are letters and telephones. Both of those work nicely.”
“And you would ignore me.”
Regulus replied. You shrugged.
“Most likely. It would be your own fault. When will you learn foolish boy that if you play stupid games you will win stupid prizes?”
Sirius leaned back and held a hand up.
“She’s got a point.”
Regulus glared at his older brother.
“I didn’t come to talk to you.”
Sirius smirked as you turned back to Regulus.
“You should go home to your wife and be a good husband. I have nothing to offer you.”
You actually had a lot to offer him and both of you knew it. After some time of healing, you could open your heart to him again and love him as you did. There wouldn't have to be any more hiding in the shadows to kiss your lover. You could kiss and hold him as you so desperately wanted to.
He left you! He left you for some pureblood princess who his FAMILY found acceptable. It didn’t matter then that you are a pureblood and it won’t now. Regulus didn’t stand up for your love then why would he now? Don’t let him hurt you again!
Your mind hissed.
It didn’t take Regulus knowing everything about you to know that you were giving yourself some little pep talk that was geared against him. If he could just gain control of this conversation….
“You actually have a lot to offer me. I’m not married to Ambrosia anymore.”
“That’s a pity.”
You muttered before turning and taking the glass of water that Remus was holding out to you.
You actually have a lot to offer me.
You internally snorted at the thought. The only thing that you had to offer him was the heir that sat in the other room happily playing with her blocks. Hell would freeze over before you let the Black family sink their claws into your precious little girl.
Regulus only blinked. He expected your sarcasm to be thrown his way.
“Not really. I didn’t want her anyway.”
You turned.
“Where was that attitude before? I’m sure your mummy is having a fit about her little splendid plan falling apart.”
Regulus frowned.
“I didn’t come to talk about my parents.”
“Well, I don’t know what you want from me, Regulus. You made your feelings quite clear. I loved you. Now you're just a page torn from the story that I’m living.”
Remus, meanwhile, motioned Sirius out of the room. This conversation was becoming a bit more personal than he cared to witness.
Regulus waited until they were out of the room before stepping closer to you.
“I’m sorry that I hurt you. You didn’t deserve to suffer because I didn’t want to upset my parents. If I could go back and do things differently...it would have been you that I married...not her. I love you. I never loved her as I love you. Why the hell do you think that she left me? Ambrosia is a lot of things. Stupid isn’t one of them.”
You raised an eyebrow.
“She knows that you love me...me specifically and not some other girl?”
Regulus nodded. He didn’t let his eyes leave yours.
“Yes. I told her.”
When you started laughing, Regulus felt a bit confused. What was funny about this whole situation? There was nothing funny! Regulus missed the birth of his daughter and broke your heart for no reason yet here you were laughing.
“What’s funny about this?”
He snapped. You had to swallow back another fit of giggles as you turned to see Remus and Sirius watching you looking as baffled as Regulus. Sirius leaned over to Remus and muttered “when a woman starts laughing at you over something stupid that you did that is how you know how fucked you are.” You made a mental note to congratulate him on that comment later before turning back to Regulus.
“What’s funny is all of this bullshit could have been avoided if you would have been a man and stood up to your parents. We wouldn’t have had to go through anything that we would have. Ambrosia wouldn’t be out there wondering what the fuck she did wrong. I must really be crazy because I am sticking up for her ass. By the way, you married a woman named after some kind of fruit salad. At least my name makes sense.”
Regulus crossed his arms over his chest with a scowl.
“Are you done?”
You shook your head. Hell no, you had enough material to make the poor guy listen to for hours. Regulus wasn’t with you when you were going through your own personal hell. He wasn’t there when you had to put your brother and best friend in the ground. When you lost custody of your nephew to a couple of muggle shitheads or when you were in labor for 20+ hours with Regulus’ child. That was Sirius and Remus there. They went through that whole ordeal with you! It was Sirius who did what Regulus was supposed to do when a child was born. Sirius and Remus were the ones walking the floors comforting a colicky Renee at three am when you were so frazzled that you wanted to cry yourself. The keywords here were Sirius and Remus, not Regulus.
“I have a lot of material. You should stick around.”
You replied with a smirk before sitting down on the couch. Regulus was silent for a few moments as he tried to get himself in check. Finally, he couldn’t stand it or remain calm any longer. Expressing his emotions was hard enough but at the moment he wasn’t feeling too shy either.
“Merlin, I fucked up! Fucked up big! What else can I say, Y/n?! I want to be a part of yours and Renee’s life. What about our child? I deserve to be in her life too...if I would have known before I would have been there. As you said, there are telephones and letters. I didn’t get anything that I deserved to get.”
The guilt began to fill your senses again.
“You made it clear that you wanted nothing to do with me. You had your wife and that is where your heart was.”
“I just told you that I didn’t love her. That would have been all the more of a reason for me to walk away.”
Your eyes dropped to his feet.
“You still wouldn’t have left.”
Regulus waited a moment before closing the distance between you. His fingers tilted your face to his.
“I’m here now.”
You stared into his eyes...those beautiful grey-blue eyes that you loved so much.
“Please, love. I’m not going anywhere ever again. You want the lover that you were supposed to have..the father that our daughter should have had from the beginning...I’m right here.”
You put your hand on top of his. Feeling his skin against yours felt more heavenly than you wanted to admit. Regulus’ hand was trembling beneath yours as you pulled away.
“I can’t trust you yet.”
“I’m not a death eater anymore. If that’s what you're scared of too…”
You didn’t turn to face him again.
“I’m not afraid of you being a death eater. I’ve dealt with that since we were 16. I’m afraid of having my heart broken again. That is what I am afraid of.”
You walked out of the room. At the moment, you needed to get some air and fast!
Sirius waited until he heard the front door close before leaning down and scooping Renee up. He smiled down at his little niece.
“Time for you to shine, sweetheart.”
Regulus was still staring at the place where you had been standing when Sirius walked back into the sitting room. The younger brother’s eyes weren’t blinking as he fought the urge to cry. He thought for a brief moment that you would let him kiss you. If he could give you just one kiss...just show you the passion that he still felt...maybe things would be alright? Now he didn’t know where he stood or if you would ever let him back into your life again. As you said, he was just a page torn from the story that you were living.
“You’ll have to give her some time. The last little bit hasn’t been too kind to any of us. We are all afraid to open up to anyone right now.”
Regulus’ head snapped up at his brother’s voice. He froze seeing the little girl in Sirius’ arms. Regulus would have recognized this baby as his from anywhere. She was everything that Regulus could have ever dreamed about.
Sirius smiled down at her.
“She has your eyes and Y/n’s sweet personality...most of the time. You both have dark hair so take that how you want it. Renee, want to say hi to your daddy?”
The little girl looked between her uncle and father before shoving her face in Sirius’ neck. Sirius’ smile faded when Regulus looked down. It didn’t take Sirius being Regulus’ brother to know that the other man was questioning every choice that he had ever made in his life.
“She’s a bit shy at first. Once she warms up to you, you aren’t going to have another quiet moment in your life. She’s finally starting to talk and we are still working on the walking thing. She doesn’t have much desire to learn when someone is always willing to pick her up.”
Renee had slowly turned her attention back to Regulus with a little sly smile.
“See what I mean?”
Sirius said with a smile. He turned his attention to the little stuffed lamb that was laying on the couch.
“Get that toy and bend down.”
Regulus quickly did as he was told as Sirius stepped within arm's length of his brother and knelt down. Sirius gently turned Renee around.
“Sugar, why don’t you go tell your daddy hi and get your little toy?”
Renee focused her attention on Regulus as he held a hand out. She watched him for a few moments before wrapping her hand around his fingers and taking a few shaky steps. Sirius smiled as she made contact with Regulus’ chest. Regulus gently adjusted the baby in his arms before slipping the stuffed lamb into her hands.
“Daddy.”
Renee said with a smile. Regulus leaned down and snuggled his face against her head. Dark curls tickled his nose as the scent of your perfume mixed with baby lotion filled his senses. This was the scent that Regulus didn’t want to forget as long as he lived.
Sirius, meanwhile, sat down with a smile on his face.
“Regulus, I normally wouldn’t say this in front of the baby but if you plan on lea…”
“I’m not leaving.”
Regulus replied, firmly.
“I can’t...not now. I need to talk to Y/n.”
Sirius smiled, sadly. After the last conversation that the two of you shared, it would probably be a good idea for Regulus to wait for you to go to him. Sirius had politely put the sitting room back in order and really didn’t want to risk it being destroyed again. It would only take one good hex or heavy object to really bruise Regulus up.
“Give her some time, Reg. She needs it.”
Regulus nodded before looking back down to his daughter. Her attention was still glued to the stuffed animal that she was now chewing on. He stroked his finger over Renee's cheek with a soft smile. If he had to wait for you it would be worth it. Patience wasn’t something that Regulus didn’t have much of but maybe it was time to develop a new skill.
_____
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