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#and the other because they had to get stitches bc of sh
imperpetuallylost · 1 month
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kinda crazy but…
im gay for you
:o no way i’m also gay for u <3
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c0rpseductor · 5 months
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im not super plugged in to the drama this is sort of an iceberg passing under my ship situation but apparently someone was saying some mean shit about an xiv modder and part of it was them giving this modder flak for posting mod previews on a character that has scars on her body, i guess with the thought in mind like, "you shouldn't do that bc people might object to the scars." the modder's bio also has "tw scars" on twitter.
and like i said i dont really have much context but it makes me genuinely extremely angry that scars are treated like something that needs to be censored. i KNOW, as someone who has issues with self harm myself, that sh scars specifically can bring triggering stuff to mind for other people, especially fresh ones, but at the same time it's like. Even if these scars are on a fictional character it sets a really gross precedent to be like "this sort of body is inherently triggering please censor." like people cannot wipe off scarring.
and there are lots of other ways you can get scars which ALSO are shitty to be like "censor that." when i was a toddler i had an accident trying to climb a bookshelf that required stitches, so for my ENTIRE LIFE i have had a facial scar from it. it's very mild, and you can't really identify it unless i point out "yeah, i have no hair in this part of my eyebrow because of this scar," but like. what am i supposed to do, censor my face because i have a scar? no matter how noticeable something like that is i just refuse.
honestly i think it would probably hurt less to see SH scars in particular on other people if it were more normalized to depict them as a neutral part of someone's body rather than solely in contexts where they're very charged, if that makes sense. plenty of people have such scars. plenty of people have scars, period. there is nothing obscene about having scars on your body for any reason and the idea that they should be apologized for grosses me out
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crab-in-a-pocket · 3 years
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reserved farmer headcanons + meeting the bachelors for the first time!
wanted to make some generally reserved farmer headcanons to kick off this blog and bc i see a lot of very friendly farmers out there and i... am not one of them LMAO
additionally, there's reference to a supposed volatile relationship with a (former?) loved one (projection time!)
also i forgot to open my askbox bc idk how to tumblr ?? i think it's open now (i hope).
tw: drinking and alcoholism, references to past trauma, one Bad Word (sh^t!)
when you first meet everyone, it's a quiet greeting and maybe a witty remark, but you don't stay for any chit-chat
close-lipped smiles are your signature move, along with the Man Nod whenever you run into someone
you are, of course, a nice and courteous person but you don't feel the need to say hello to everyone every damn time you pass by them because, really, you're too busy rushing to Pierre's for some seeds or lugging around foraged beach stuff
okay, maybe some of them think you're a little cold and an introvert who has... problems
but you're not! you are a strong and emotionally stable farmer who gets Shit Done and prefers to observe over participate and think over talk!
mayor lewis is extremely puzzled and almost mistakes you for someone else-- it's been over a decade and people change too much, too soon. he makes a remark about a wishing well your grandfather had built long ago (remember the well? how you fell in it that one time?) and you nod along politely (i didn't fall, i climbed in because i desperately needed my wish to come true)
it's nice to meet people who aren't as temperemental as the tides. maybe, for once, you could have a proper relationship with someone.
alex
easily the most annoying and extroverted person in town what with his obsession with sports and loud, brash personality but you two get along fabulously because you had that same passion for gridball in college before you were too busy being a corporate slave
he's a little surprised that you sit next to him at the saloon but he goes along easily and the conversation flows between the two of you easily, ranging from future plans (thinking of going pro... think i'll make it?) to the weather without sounding like you're making fake smalltalk (i wanted to play pro, too, and here i am now. if you really want it, you'll have to leave this all behind)
there's something genuine about him that's intriguing and it leaves you wanting to find out and see what the real alex is like inside because you can see through that wall he's made
and there's something enigmatic about you, who is reserved and quiet and seems to be a simple open book, when in fact, you are a very attractive onion with many, many layers
sam
you think he's immature. a wildchild, a manchild, a wildmanchild, really. sam, on the other hand, is drawn in by your calmness and how in-control you appear to be-- when you offer to play a game of pool when sebastian doesn't show up, he's delighted at the opportunity to know you better
okay, so he is immature and a wildmanchild but there is a softness in him that surprises you every time he shows it-- which is frequently around you
he has a soft smile to counteract his proud one and he's so in awe of how you get so much stuff done every day (i don't know how you do it, that's gotta be tough), every week, and every month (you'd like the responsibility, i think. to me, it's one big project i need to finish)
he has instant crush on you because you're so cool even though your line of profession really doesn't evoke much awe. i mean, you're  attractive, you are so in control of your life, and you have a really cute smile whenever he compliments you-- how could he not?
shane
bit bold of you to sit next to him at the saloon because every knows he's can be a real asshole, but he glances at you with a hint of awe and more than a hint of annoyance. you elect to ignore this and choose to order a whisky on the rocks (if you don't drink, call it apple juice)
whisky: shane's a touch impressed because you look like a lightweight. well, it's nice that someone can hold their liquor. he makes a remark about it (planning on getting drunk, huh?) and you raise a brow at him, looking a little haughty and tell him that it's your drink for the week. he's annoyed at your remark and starts an argument that surprisingly, settles down into a civil conversation
apple juice: he snorts at that and makes a remark about meeting penny for your lessons the next day. you play along and sip at your drink, making witty remarks (thank yoba for hangovers. it's the non-drinker's edge, really. just like not having liver failure). he's not sure if he should be annoyed or impressed at your cool-as-a-cucumber personality, not sure if it's too big city or too closed-off
you offer to buy him a pizza if you can take a away his beer-- at any rate, he looks like he'll end up with liver failure the way he's going. shane aquiesces and devours the entire pizza. your conversation is slow and punctuated with his loud chewing but you're pleasantly suprised that he's quite smart and well-read about whatever you're interested in
the fourth time you sit next to him, he turns down your pizza and doesn't say a word. neither do you and it's almost like it's back to square one until you realize that he hasn't made a single salty remark about anything. you decide to try again the day after tomorrow-- nothing comes too quickly to people like you and shane.
sebastian
it was the necklace you wore that caught his eye. a shining teardrop stone hanging off a gleaming silver chain. he had spoken before he could stop himself and watched as you smiled and told him he was right-- it is supposed to be a Yeti's tear.
you're pleased to meet someone who is also a homebody and a touch more reserved than a lot of other people in town. he's easy to get along with (oh, you're kidding, you really have the signed edition?) and he's got pretty good taste when it comes to literature-- after all, who can refuse a good sci-fi book? (of course i do, i'm dedicated fan)
oddly enough, your conversation is quick and eager and not all reserved. instead of the companionable silence everyone assumes you two to have, you two nearly talk over each other because you finally have someone to complain to about everyone's over-friendliness and he finally has someone who understands what it's like to be trapped in a small world
you tease him about the corporate rat race and he fires back at you about being a part of it. you like sebastian and he likes you-- it's as simple as that.
elliot
he had heard of you through leah who had heard of you through emily who had heard of you through gus who had heard of you from lewis. it was a long grapevine and he's not sure how much of the truth was preserved and it's almost a relief to meet you because, to be frank, he's tired of being the town's newcomer.
first-- you're not peppy and overly cheerful at all. second, you are definitely not hot-tempered. and third, there's something so fascinating about you, something hidden under your calm, pragmatic character. he finds a kindred spirit in you, save for the flowery words and, admittedly, the vanity.
you're amused to meet a writer living on the beach. the cabin was built by one of your grandfather's old friends, a rather surly man who had taken a liking to you when you were much younger. while the hut is in no way fancy, you can't help but consider how pretentious and, contrastingly, humble the writer must be. pretentious in such a way that he thinks living in a sandy, damp shack is a way to beat writer's block (it's odd, it's rarely a choice people make) and humble in such a way that he accepts and bears with living in a worn house with little complaint (it's admirable, if not a little silly!)
you find yourself in his company late at night when you can't sleep and it's so easy to open up to him because he's kind, he listens, and most importantly, he's not embarassed to admit he's got faults, at least to you. you let him see past your collected facade and into your cracked heart far sooner than you think and elliot doesn't mind at all
harvey
you might be the most mysterious person in town simply because of the way you present yourself. he finds himself always stuttering a little whenever you're around because of the way you watch him, set in a relaxed stance, your gaze flat and cool. later, he realizes that it's your resting face. he wonders about what you'd look like if you smiled-- really smiled
he's touched at the fact that you buy him coffee whenever he had to patch you up-- which is frequently, given your liking for the mines. you're adorable when he gives you general anesthesia. he had run out of local anesthesia and you needed a fair amount of stitches and though you told him that you have a high pain tolerance (stitches are far more painful than you think. i really don't want to put you through that), he insisted and you let him (fine, fine. get on with it, doctor). you had let out several inappropriate jokes under anesthesia and your cheeks had hurt from laughing non-stop
harvey's entranced. there's no other way to put it-- he's bewitched by your bright character hiding under that collected facade. he never pries for your secrets because he's got secrets, too. you like harvey because he's sweet and compassionate and even though he has to put up a firm, professional affectation, he wears his heart on his sleeve.
you see him as a friend at first, all platonic and it seems to be the end of it. but one day, as you hand him a coffee, he laughs and smiles and hands you a coffee just the way you like it. you're falling for him so hard and fast you think someone's put a spell on you that makes you notice the minute expressions on his face and mull over the way he talks to you. you're in love with him-- you can only hope he feels the same way too
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willadisastercry · 3 years
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Keith relapsing and not being able to stop once he starts... pt 2
(((( Once again: please, please, please read the trigger warnings and proceed with caution before reading this. I vividly describe Keith’s internal struggle after he relapses... if anything even remotely regarding self harming or someone discovering a person who has is sensitive to you I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU DONT READ ))))
tw: in depth depiction of acting on self harm ideations/urges, scars, relapsing, becoming ill from blood loss, someone discovering a person after they relapse, rationalizing their self harm because the alternative is suicide, contradicting oneself and later very much deciding they would rather be unalived, panic attack symptoms, reopening a wound, allusion to surgery (stitches)
Keith is still very out of it after having a full fledged panic attack and the last thing he wants is to invite another spectator into the mix to watch him devolve further. So Shiro agrees to do something he hasn’t had to do in a very long time... courtesy of his battlefield medicine training.
Also again... YES klance and NO klance. You can interpret it however but their questioningly less and less ‘no homo’ behavior uh certainly ramps up and I suggest that they’ve had certain discussions/interactions before... definitely still not the main focus of this fic but there for context bc it just happened that way.
Part 1 / Part 2
The tension in the air was palpable as it hung on all of them. Lance watched Shiro’s entire body visibly relax, the grimace on his face the only tell that he was working through something in his mind, remembering something unpleasant.
Keith’s wimper pulled both boys back after a minute of terrible silence.
Several of the hardest cuts to close had broken free of the glue that held them and were gushing steadily. Keith was paling by the minute as he continued to breathe rapidly and tremble as if he was cold despite the sweat on his forehead.
He just wanted this to be over. To finally be asleep where at least then he could pretend that it had never actually happened and it was just a horrible dream.
Without saying anything more Shiro pressed the bandage back to his side and moved Lance’s hand to hold pressure there while he stood up and scanned the room, his eyes landing on Keith’s towel. It was hardly even damp then with how much time had passed since Keith had finished his shower.
“Keith, I know you’re not going to want me to,” he started with his jaw set as he pulled Keith towards him for a moment to lay the towel beneath him despite his meager protests.
“...but I have to tell Coran so that he can—“
He stopped when Keith let out a desperate whine as he released his hand from his mouth to tug on Shiro’s arm, his fingers digging in like he was trying to anchor them to something so he didn’t drift away as his chest started working double time.
“No. You can’t! You’re n-not t-tell-telling him.”
“Keith, I know that this is—“
“No, you dont,” Keith rasped, “you d-don’t know anything and you c-can-can’t tell Coran.”
The fear in his wide eyes was enough to make Lance want to cry for the umpteenth time that night, his chest hitching painfully as he pleaded with Shiro, getting himself more worked up as he did.
“Calm down, buddy. You know how this works. You know we have to get you fixed up.”
He shook his head back and forth as Shiro tried to rationalize with him.
“Keith,” he paused with a lengthy sigh because the last thing he wanted was to do something that Keith didn’t want him to do.
“Keith it’s bad. You need stitches, we have to.”
His purple saucers met Shiro’s grey pinpoints for a long moment, fear and desperation glistening in Keith’s and making Shiro want to pull him up into a bone crushing embrace.
“Then y-you do it...” he all but whispered through a heave as he tried to take in enough air to satisfy the ache in his chest so he could talk.
“Ke—“
“You’ve d-done-done i-it-it before Sh-Sh-Shi—fuck. P-please, j-j-ju-just-just-j—“
“Okay,” Shiro agreed, his voice pitching higher as he tried to assuage the budding panic evident in Keith’s anguished expression and worsening trembling.
“Hey, it’s okay. I will. Shhh, I will.”
He repeated the words religiously after Keith began to choke on his own, his face reeling with frustration when the full body trembling made him unable to get a proper sentence out and the effort of trying sent him spiraling further.
Shiro carded his hand through Keith’s still damp hair as his hands rose back up to his face, his feet kicking against the bed as the terrible dropping feeling worked its way through his stomach, gasping as it did. Lance watched in horror as Shiro tried to comfort him but any point of contact made Keith struggle harder.
He absolutely hated being so vulnerable, so reliant on others in such a fragile state. He knew he sorely needed the affection but his body instinctively cringed away from their touches, at war with itself as his mind lied to him, told him he was pathetic for needing such a thing. Another part wanting to melt into even the faintest brush against his shuddering body. All while feeling the consequences of losing a pretty descent amount of blood, the loss fogging his mind to a point that made it immeasurably harder to not succumb to panic, especially since he was still bleeding.
It was truly the perfect storm and he hated every second of it.
His lungs felt like they were being dripped dry of every ounce of oxygen in them as the phantom sensation of spinning returned and disordered his heaving breaths further as he fought the urge to vomit. The bone deep exhaustion seemed to be rather helpful then, the physical symptoms of his anxiety fizzling out in minutes as he quite literally just lacked the faculties to accommodate them.
“I’m right here, Keith,” Shiro assured when his grip on his arm tightened and then wavered as he began to sink back into the mattress, his hands settling restlessly on his chest as they shook.
“That’s it, you’re alright.”
Shiro griped his shoulder securely now, the metal of his prosthetic arm weighing with an oddly pleasant pressure on Keith as his whole body shook still.
Closing his eyes seemed a tad less dangerous once he could breathe somewhat regularly again and the intense dizziness had somewhat dissipated. They were also swollen like hell and heavy from all the crying so shutting them became less of an active choice then as well.
Lance’s hand moved to his leg after a beat, just to peek and make sure that those wounds hadn’t met a similar fate. He watched as Shiro’s face dropped when he saw the second wrapping, swallowing thickly and shifting where he sat on the edge of the bed to speak to Lance.
“Will you get him to eat something while I go grab a few things?”
He nodded and made his way to the forgotten tray of snacks he’d nabbed as Shiro took off for supplies. The sobbing had died down after the climax of his panic did but the tears didn’t seem to ever dry up, evident from the sniffling every few minutes as he tried to clear his airways.
“Hey,” Lance nudged his arm where it had moved to cover his blotchy face again, “why don’t you sit up a little, gotta eat something...”
He didn’t even try, just shook his head.
“N-nauseous,” he stuttered, the shaking impossibly infuriating as he tried to relax enough to do anything other than cry.
“Hmmm, well you could also have juice, I can water it down a little. That sound doable?”
He just sighed and Lance took his indifference as a ‘whatever’ and went ahead anyway, nudging him again when he had a modified juice pouch for him.
“You don’t have to sit up all the way, there’s a straw,” Lance noted when Keith tried to raise himself up on shaking arms before they gave out. He grunted defeatedly and tried to scooch back on bent elbows and sit up that way but found he didn’t have the core strength then to do that either.
“Here, what if I...” Lance mused with a shy smile as he moved to pull Keith up enough to slide in behind him, bringing the pouch up to his lips where his now propped up head rested securely in the crook of his arm, still racked by tremors but seemingly more at ease with the contact.
“That better?”
Keith didn’t answer, just sucked on the straw of the pouch like he was dying of dehydration. By the time he’d finished the pouch Shiro was walking through the automatic door with a whoosh that startled Keith, his breathing picking back up as he nestled his head further into Lance’s arm like he was trying to hide under it.
“He finished some juice,” Lance stated proudly as Shiro laid out the haul of medical supplies he brought back.
“That’s good, something solid would be better though. Hm, how bout the bread?” Shiro asked, walking back over to the tray and picking up a roll from the batch Hunk had made with a type of alien wheat they’d found.
Keith grumbled but took it from Shiro’s outstretched hand because he knew that he wouldn’t be able to win that debate, but more because he knew what was coming next and he wanted that more than anything.
“What?! You just give in for Shiro but with me it’s like pulling teeth? I’m offended, mullet. Deeply offended,” Lance scoffed and Keith made a noise as he bit into the bread begrudgingly.
“It’s not personal, he just knows not to be stubborn unless he wants to be awake while I stitch him up.”
Lance’s heart sunk impossibly further into his chest because Shiro had fully found him like that before... and done this exact thing after. This wasn’t new to either of them.
God he wanted to cry too.
Once Keith had made a sizeable dent in the roll from the dinner he’d missed Shiro handed him three pills of which Lance assumed were some variant of a sleep aid that took him a while to swallow with how choppy he was breathing still. The high sort of buzz had never really gone away and only worsened when his anxiety took over, leaving him both feeling floaty and trapped in a constant state of shaking.
Lance tried to comfort him now that he seemed more receptive to being touched, tracing light circles on the shoulder not tucked against him and leaving his other hand out where he could reach it in case he needed something to squeeze.
In the time being Shiro had set up a sterile tray for what looked like a literal fish hook and a whole bunch of gauze. Oh, jeez. Lance wasn’t sure he could stomach watching and tried to manifest being able to just hold Keith in his arms while Shiro worked, ya know for moral support. For Keith obviously.
“How ya doing? Tired yet?” Shiro inquired as he continued to ready the tray, fiddling with bottles of medicine similar to what Lance had used before.
“Mhmm, getting... sleepy,” he slurred, his trembling dying down a bit as the medicine helped his body relax.
“Good,” Shiro let out a hollow laugh at the way he sounded like a kid again, “Lance will you let me know when he’s out?”
The altean medicine was working quickly, aided by the fact that he was already utterly spent and leaving his eyes fluttering as his breathing evened out. He didn’t want to fall asleep still worked up or he’d probably be restless, maybe even come to and be more disoriented than before. So he dragged out the relief of slowly being pulled to sleep by the flick of Lance’s fingers on his arm, forcing his eyes to remain open as long as he could manage.
“Yep, shouldn’t be long,” Lance noted when Keith let out a hissing yawn and turned his face towards Lance’s chest, his cheek resting against the squishiest part he could find and making Lance stifle a gasp.
Keith wasn’t known for being cuddly and the gesture, though not really a conscious one, made Lance’s stomach flutter. He wasn’t able to dwell on it long though because Shiro was addressing him again.
“Can you pinch his arm...?”
Lance obliged and Keith didn’t make a sound.
“Perfect, okay, you won’t get squeamish will you?”
“Uh... glue is a bit different than a needle but even that sort of freaked me out.”
“Alright then, you can clean and dissolve what opened up while I handle what’s already free,” Shiro determined as he ushered the familiar supplies closer to Lance.
He took up the needle which was already threaded and sighed heavily before pulling Keith’s desk chair flush up against the bed.
“Help me get him more on his side.”
They managed to by Lance pulling him by the shoulders and more onto his lap as Shiro pushed.
Shiro breathed deeply then, something in his eyes flickering as he removed the soaked through bandage from the younger boy’s hip. His entire side coated again, the skin visibly raised and puffy.
Lance took up the wound wash and showed it to Shiro who nodded, bringing the towel up to catch the excess liquid as he poured. Once he’d sopped up what had bled again Shiro started with the widest gash, the hardened glue was easy to pull off with how horribly it had been secured over such a large area. Lance looked elsewhere, focusing on removing the glue from the other reopened wounds.
Shiro operated like a robot after that, known quite literally for a precise hand but what happened next took that generalization to a whole other level. His fingers moved swiftly, tying off stitches almost faster than Lance could wash out the gashes but definitely quicker than he could remove the blue tinted glaze. He had to scrub and scrape at the substance from the open wounds, the bloody mess they’d become making the task harder than it ought to have been.
In actuality only a few had reopened, but they were also the deepest. Some of them took upwards of five stitches, others two or three. The proximity of them to each other, especially to ones that were still glued, made it difficult for Shiro to figure out where to place the needle.
They were done after ten or so minutes but when Shiro sat back to analyze his work, he frowned.
“What’s up?” Lance questioned dubiously.
Shiro didn’t answer, just brought his hand down to examine the glue that was barely holding about a dozen more wounds together. They’d grown darker, the amount of red beneath the generous amount of blue visibly greater than the lesser wounds as more blood gathered and threatened to burst out as well.
“Some of these look like they’re about to go too, they haven’t clotted. I don’t think they’d heal right if I don’t stitch them up, they’d leave worse, uh—worse scars.”
Lance nodded transfixedly, not sure if his heart could take hearing more things like that, more direct acknowledgments of how one of his best friends had hurt himself so badly... how it hadn’t been the first time... how he couldn’t make sure it was the last if even Shiro had failed to.
“-nce. Lance, hey, don’t let me lose you now. I need you to work on dissolving the rest of the glue,” Shiro said, his tone gentle again as he brought Lance back from the depths of his weary mind.
“Right,” he affirmed more for himself as he brought the dissolving liquid back down while Shiro rethreaded his needle.
Opening a just about to burst wound was admittedly a lot harder on Lance’s stomach than freeing one that had already. There was so much more blood because when he was done with one side it’d spring open and pool immediately as he fought to dissolve the rest before it spilled out and got everywhere.
Both of them were coated then, the only saving grace that kept Lance’s nerves at bay was Shiro having the forethought to have them both wear gloves, but that just made it seem like a literal operation. And with the amount of black threading Keith back together it was seeming more like one each horrible minute it droned on.
Shiro had lost his vest and jacket somewhere around the third time he had to rethread his needle, Lance’s discarded too after some time, both of them uncomfortably warm as they poured over stitching Keith back together.
Oh, oh god.
That did it for him.
Lance huffed shakily and turned his head away as he nearly lost it again over how much he wished he could do more than just help heal his wounds, he wanted to mend every one of his broken pieces, put the parts of him back together that you couldn’t see.
He couldn’t stand the thought of slapping a bandage on what had happened and ever going about normally again.
“Lance...”
Shiro looked at him with sorry eyes, wanting to hug him as he blinked back tears but Keith was very much preventing that from being possible.
“I’m okay, sorry—it’s just a lot.”
“I know. We’re almost done if that helps, just need to finish up on this one and then I want to take a quick look at his leg,” Shiro offered as he got back to the gash that was almost closed.
“It wasn’t as bad, only a few were deep,” Lance noted, his eyes glossy as they stared at Shiro’s busy hands, not even registering the way they pulled on Keith’s skin as they tied off the last knot.
Shiro nodded, sneaking a worried glance over at Lance who didn’t meet his gaze as he finished applying an ungodly amount of tape over top the gauze he’d put on the area. He then manhandled Keith’s leg so he could get at his thigh.
Lance looked down at his arms. There wasn’t much blue of the medical gloves on his hands showing, blood smeared past even that and up his arms. He hurriedly yanked at them, peeling one off within the other and folding the outer one over itself.
“Just toss it, I’ll clean this all up later.”
Shiro suggested noticing how dangerously close Lance was to unraveling and hoping to delay it until he could actually help.
He was right though, only a handful required stitches and half as many as the ones on his hip had needed at that. Shiro was done in record time, taking over Lance’s job of removing the glue and cleaning up the mess that followed, finishing by wrapping a thicker bandage around his leg and taping it in place.
When Shiro finally sat back and started to clean up he was dimly aware that Lance was silently crying and had scooted further down the bed to hold Keith more securely in his arms. Though he was definitely out he had never fully stopped shaking, but now it seemed more like a nervous system response to the nowhere near healthy amount of blood he’d lost. Lance moved his hands up and down his arm in attempt to soothe him anyway.
Shiro brought the throw blanket at the foot of the bed over the two of them after he’d removed all of the trashed medical supplies from it. Lance’s eyes had fluttered shut but were open now.
“He shouldn’t be up anytime soon but you look wiped, figured you’d want to stay...”
He nodded absently, eyes bleary but understanding as Shiro moved about the room for a little before sitting down at the foot of the bed.
“I’ll handle talking to him about all this tomorrow but in the case that he isn’t entirely dead to the world when the morning drill alarm goes off, tell him that he is not only excused but barred from training and piloting Red until his stitches are out.”
Lance just nodded again and yawned, pulling the blanket over the rest of his upper body.
“And Lance... “
He eyed Lance with a sort of fondness then.
“I know how fucked up tonight was, it couldn’t have been easy. You didn’t have to help him, you could’ve just gotten me, but you did. And I don’t know what kind of headspace he’ll be in when he wakes up but I do know he’ll be grateful you were there for him... even if he has a funny way of showing it.”
The lump in Lance’s throat bobbed threateningly, his eyes stinging again as he whispered a meak ‘thanks’ as Shiro stood up and leaned closer to ruffle his perfect hair before he turned to leave, shutting the lights off before he did.
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naruto-littlespace · 3 years
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Akatsuki Littlespace Headcanons
I could and probably will write more, but I don’t feel like it right now, so here’s this.
Disclaimer 1: Littlespace, in the AU and in real life, is a coping mechanism for everything from everyday stressors to psychological disorders like PTSD. If you sexualize littlespace do not interact with this AU or me, I will block you.
Disclaimer 2: Littlespace in this post is slightly different from in real life, magic-ed up in a similar way to how ninjas are magic-ed up in the Naruto universe. Chakra-using littles actually revert to the size they were when they were their little ages, although they retain any bodily changes since then (little Kakuzu still has stitches, little Deidara would have hand mouths.) The exception of course is Sasori, whose body is manmade and doesn’t change. People also do not necessarily remember their big lives when they slip into littlespace, sometimes becoming confused about where they are and who they’re with. They will sometimes be confused about what time period they’re in as well, believing things to have happened that hadn’t happened yet in their little age but were far in the past in their adult age.
This isn’t how I’m going to treat littlespace w/ Naruto characters all the time on this account btw, it’s just an idea I’ve been playing around with, like the psychological defense of reverting to a childlike state inadvertently triggers a transformation jutsu to match.
Nagato:
Little age pre Yahiko’s death was 6-7, post is 2-4
Started regressing shortly after the formation of the original Akatsuki. She and Yahiko had to do research to figure out why their teenage friend had suddenly turned into a child, but after they learned they took care of him: treated him like a child, bought him kids books from the local thrift shop, tucked him into bed. He called them uncle and auntie.
He would stay in littlespace for a surprisingly long amount of time, for 4-6 hours on days between missions.
After Yahiko’s death he spent many days in a row regressed to age two. Konan scrambled to take care of him and handle her own grieving. After that was over he promised her she wouldn’t have to take care of him again.
Nowadays of course she still takes care of him when he regresses, but he tries to force himself out of it if he begins to.
He still has board books and stuffies, so if he does fully regress he’ll have one of his pein bodies bring them to him.
Being ~3 he doesn’t have the mental capacity to control all the Peins, so they just kind of idle for awhile.
Konan:
Little age is 3-5
Pre modern Akatsuki she didn’t like regressing at all and only did it involuntarily. She would handle it by either walking it off or reading Nagato’s board books by herself.
This continued pretty much until she started becoming friends with Kakuzu, who openly admitted he was a little (he thought she should know, in case it ended up delaying his missions--it was mostly so she would stick up for him to Pein. No, he wasn’t hunting bounties, there’s a perfectly logical explanation--)
So she had a bad day while she and Kakuzu were at the same base and went ‘can you please deal with me for a couple of minutes’ and he was like ‘ofc’ so she sat down in front of him and shrank down to a little girl and started crying. He picked her up and bounced her on his knee until she calmed down. She ended up staying little for a couple of hours because Kakuzu took her out of the office and telling her stories about his childhood while they prepared dinner.
Kisame becomes her caretaker too when the three of them start dating.
Sometimes she starts crying inconsolably about something she won’t talk about other than someone leaving her and something being unfair. Pein showed up during this one time and said he knew what she was talking about and it was none of her cgs’ concern which ofc made them concerned but they haven’t gotten the chance to talk to her about it.
Itachi:
Little age is 2-4 but since her chakra is often very low so she doesn’t always physically become that tiny.
She didn’t regress until after she joined the Akatsuki, but when she did Kisame wasn’t surprised. He reintroduced himself as her babysitter, slipped her a lollipop and took her to a library to pick out some kids books.
Loves to be pampered. Oh god it’s the only time she can relax at all
Wears reading glasses because they can’t get her in to an eye doctor appointment
She’s trans in this au because I say so
Likes playing with weasel and crow toys, esp when her caretaker (usually Kisame, Konan and Kakuzu as well when they’re around) plays the weasel and she’s the crow. She’ll tell stories where they go out to the woods to train or just hang out.
She loves to sit in laps <3
She eats a lot more in littlespace than out so whoever’s feeding her makes lots of food. For her to grow big and strong u know
Kisame:
Little age 0. He is just baby
Being reminded of the bloody mist triggers his littlespace, though he has to be in a bad headspace in the first place. It really does not happen often.
Post Akatsuki the first time he slipped was after he, Kakuzu and Konan started dating. Kakuzu woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of crying and woke Konan up immediately afterwards because holy sh*t there’s a baby in our bed!!
It was Kisame. Kakuzu picked him up and rocked him back to sleep. Konan asked how he was so good with kids and he was like ‘oh I had a baby once.’ She does not ask him to elaborate. Kisame wakes up as an adult the next morning.
They keep a container of powder formula for him if he regresses but won’t get him a pacifier because they’re afraid he’d bite off and choke on the teat. They have bottles but Kakuzu makes the nipples for them out of one of his threads on the spot bc he’d bite through literally everything else with his tiny demon teeth.
Sasori:
Little age is unclear (unlike some of the others, he’s never said it.)
Signs he’s in littlespace: stops talking, stops walking if he can afford it, walks unsteadily and a little bowlegged if he can’t. Stops using ninjutsu and if he’s near a kitchen he might try to eat despite not having a digestive system anymore. Has been known to ask where Granny Chiyo is. The answer is ‘back home.’
Deidara got him a pacifier and a coloring book. He does use them but not when anyone else is watching, not even Deidara.
He is a bit upset when he’s reminded that his body is wooden. He would like to feel things please. But he learns to just enjoy the sensation of squishing a stuffie and his jaw chewing on a paci.
Deidara:
Not actually a little. He just hasn’t gone through sh*t like the rest of the Akatsuki have, and has coping mechanisms for when he is having a bad time.
He caretakes for Konan when her boys aren’t around and for Sasori if he’ll let him.
Hidan told him about littles after Kakuzu regressed in front of him and thought Deidara might need to know because of how much baggage Sasori has (he doesn’t know what it is but he can smell drama)
So he looked out for Sasori becoming a kid and learned instead to look for him not acting like an adult. He walked out of Hiruko and tried to eat in front of him and Deidara had to tell him he couldn’t have a strawberry because it was bad for his health and not because it would probably make his insides mold. It’s weird but Deidara is also weird and he makes it work.
Kakuzu:
Little age is 9-10
Post Akatsuki the first time he regressed was in front of Hidan in the middle of the woods. He didn’t recognize him and immediately tried to run and then beat him up when he chased him. Hidan had to think fast and tell him he was his new neighbor and pretend to be taking him home. The next time he was babysitting.
Sometimes asks where his husband is. The first time Hidan heard this his response was ‘what the f*ck’ and Kakuzu told him that was a bad word.
Enjoyed activities include reading, sparring, and to the surprise of some, hunting. He’s not bad w/ a bow and arrow.
The best way to keep him in/make him feel comfy in littlespace is to make him a meal. U can let him help to the extent that he sets the table or pours the drinks or smth (because he will ask) but take care of the food for him, because he hasn’t had someone else handle that for him in a long time.
Regressing isn’t necessarily a common thing for him to do but he’s one of the only ones whose regression can be triggered by physical pain as well as emotional. He can usually harden his skin to block attacks but if he doesn’t in time he may turn into a ten year old. It actually can surprise an opponent enough for Hidan to be able to take them out.
Hidan:
Not a little either.
Knew about littles bc there was an old man in his village who had ptsd from some long forgotten war and sometimes turned into a six year old.
Caretakes for Kakuzu pretty exclusively, unless Kakuzu is big and taking care of someone else, in which case he’ll help out if he’s feeling nice at the time. Itachi is actually his favorite to take care of because Itachi is a very manageable child.
Obito:
Little age varies wildly from about 1-11. He blocks his physical regression because he regresses Often and doesn’t want to blow his Madara cover.
He has been regressing since p much immediately after he got crushed. Madara was really having none of it and went from patiently waiting for him to become ‘big’ again to pretending it wasn’t happening, forcing Obito back into a uh. ‘’Normal’’’’ headspace
The Tobi act is actually covering his littlespace though when he’s an adult he has no idea how to realistically act like a kid so when he’s actually a kid it’s kind of jarring for all involved
When he’s a baby he just screams. Not really crying in distress but screaming because he can
He’s so eager for attention. Please talk to him! Play toys with him!!! Read a book, eat dango, run around outside, catch bugs, train!!!
Never mentions Kakashi or Rin but sometimes will mention his grandma or Lord Fourth as if he is the current Hokage
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I already wrote this post, but I’m coming backk up to the top to put a cut bc it’s p long.
my brother is singing falsettos out loud & I’ve already had a stressful day bc I’ve done nothing (lack of structure & lack of productivity gives me really bad anxiety) & he’s either singing out of key & out of time, or it just sounds really bad without the music. He’s the only one who can hear the music bc HeadPhones. & also the falsettos is probably really bad for my mom bc she’s mad that dad left her, esp bc the house is a mess & stressing her out & she needs to go grocery shopping & he used to do that “but now he doesn’t because he stopped loving [her]”, so my bro singing fucking falsettos is really bad. I can’t cook supper bc I don’t have a recipe & the stuff is still frozen & idk what kind of dough I should make & besides the kitchen is a mess & he won’t fucking clean it. I mean it’s also partially my fault bc I’m a lazy adhd mofo, but it’s his job today & my job to cook. I need to get into the kitchen & cook before mom & my OTHER brother get home from shopping but I can’t bc he’s just drawing & singing & the singing is so annoying- I was trying to listen to a thing but I couldn’t fricking hear it bc adhd auditory processing disorders, it didn’t have fucking subtitles or anything & it was not great audio quality & I couldn’t differentiate between the words he was singing, & I couldn’t hear the quiet parts when they overlapped with his singing. I wasn’t going to write all of this I was just going to say that his singing makes me want to cut myself, but apparently there’s a lot more to it. also I don’t want to end up cooking while mom is home bc I don’t have any drawings on my arm & mom is fucking nosy & wants to see my scars so I have to work extra hard at hiding them but even with ppl who arent nosy, like my little bro I don’t like them out, but the longer my older bro sits there fucking yelling out of key, the longer I’m delayed & I won’t be able to cook. By this point, I won’t even be able to cook the meal I was planning on, I have so much shit to do I’ve missed so much & I’m so behind, but I’m so incapable of doing anything like i can’t do chores bc I use the excuse I have homework but I never fucking do my homework so I’m also behind in school & even with the stuff I like like dnd & writing & violin I can’t do, & I skipped online kung fu & I’ve been slacking off under so many excuses but I’m just being lazy & anxious & I also gained so much weight & it makes my body feel so bad & i know this isn’t my body’s happy weight & being fat makes my boobs bigger & I’m fucking trans & I hate them I even tried cutting them off myself & ended up waiting 15 hours to go to the hospital so that I wouldn’t make mom suspicious (& they put me through triage really fast bc apparently I did a lot of dammage- I was planning on giving myself stitches, but my icepack melted & I couldn’t numb my body anymore so they’re lucky I even went to the hospital, it was bad bc I had to walk 20 minutes either way weighted down with a fucking toolbox & I waited outside in the cold bc my phone died & thus:) mom found out anyways so I lied to her about going to buy drugs bc obv /that’s/ a better idea than telling her I went to the hospital & SHUT UP UNNAMED OLDER BROTHER ok he’s between songs now. If I told mom I went to the hospital she would ask why & be like “y didn’t u tell me” & “r u cutting urself again” & like yeah bitch I have been for a while ik the social worker said I should tell you a codeword, but I don’t do that bc u blame yourself or cry or want to talk about & I yes I fucking cut myself what of it? Yeah I tried fucking removing my own left breast, bc u arent’ supportive of medical transitioning, at least not when they’re ur kids. Ur mad at dad bc he got a tattoo bc it’s  body modification & thus uncatholic, but u’ll support ur catholic university friends gettin gtheir eldest daughter a reduction bc her boobs are big & painful- bitch what’s so different about me? I went so far as to try giving myself a reduction, you say you’re concerned about me mutilating my body & making bad decisions, but, you know what? because of this I have legitimately mutilated my body, & made a dangerous & bad decision. isn’t autosurgery proof that I need top surgery bc it’s a danger to my life if I don’t get it? The government is able to pay for it I think & bc it’s a danger to my health (& i get pain & I can’t work out & I get back pain & my skin pulls & hurts & if I jump my tissues yank my skin & it hurts & it puts so much strain on my back, & binding gives me pain, so I need a reduction as much as your catholic university friends’ daughter does) I should be abe to qualify. Even if I don’t qualify yet & have to wait two years, at least that would be the start of two years now instead of in a long time, I mean, mum, you say you want me to talk about it & you’re afraid I’m rushing into it? guess what? They are too! the healthcare system will make me do a bunch of shit to qualify, & tbh, I think that they are better qualified to talk to me about surgery & what I really want than you.  Fucking finally, I hope my brother is done his play & finally shuts up. TA MA DE FUCK NO HE’S STARTING AGAIN CROWS DAMN IT CROWS CROWS CROWS & MAGGOTS I”m not even gonna be able to make anythiung for supper & i have no ideas besides the long one which I don’t have time for anymore. fine. whatever. I’ll go SH in my room. I won’t even work on fanfic bc I’m too fucking adhd & broken. I fucking hate it when ppl say “we;re all a bit adhd” like no bitch shut the fuck up, we all struggle with the things adhd ppl struggle with sometimes, but adhd is a neurological condition that makes those struggles so commonplace & intense that it affects our everyday lives. & no. adhd does not mean we’re more creative. Even if we do have more likeliihood of coming up with funky ideas, most of us struggle to articulate them or understand them, or we forget them as soon as they come. you’re not adhd bc you’re a little more creative, youre just an ableist asshole & fuck you. adhd isn’t creativity its’ a fucking disability. I’m directing this at those fucking parents who have the lovely nd daughter who gave me a hug, but you two are motherfuckers. Yeah I get thaat adhd, once you learn how to mannage it, can be useful, & I understand that part of the reason this disability is so hard is bc society isn’t designed for it (like a lefty using right hand scissors), but ot’s still fuxking REAL & if you can’t deal with it yet, it 100% is a disanbility. OK? Ok. I had smth I was going to say earlier, but I got distracted by smth else that made me mad, so I never got around to it. Youo know what I love? I fucking love how tumblr has next to no character limit so I can just type as much as I want. You know what I don’t like? I’ll probably get deactivated by some SJW maggot-eaten crow-fucker who thinks that my rant& mentioning my failed ed & my self harm (oh fuck shut up, my brother is chanting “dumb”) so anyways some fucking sjw fuck-hole will report this post & my blog & I’ll be deactivated for simply getting angry on tumblr. It’s fucking tumblr! You used to be able to say whatever you needed to say! But now, esp us ppl w EDs, have no safe place to talk about our issues (at least, not w/o fear of gettin gterminated for “encouraging” EDs, when we’re just trying to help ourselves). Anywasy, sorry for all the swears & go se, I swear when I’m mad. I’m gonna go do smth, idk what. Can’t be anything productive, Can’t even be unproductive stuff I like, like watching youtubem, or smth cathartic like playing fiddle. I might just go & bleed a bit & ignore everything for a while. I nkow that the world will still be stressful when I get back, & I’ll still have to cook, & I’ll still be behind in school, & mom will still be broken-hearted over dad, but I’m feeling calmer just thinking about it so that’s what I’ll do. 
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Note
Here’s a prompt based off the last one you wrote. Kat being forced to be nice to Billy 😂😂😂
It’s done. It’s pretty bad and it took forever bc I just couldn’t crack it but I hope you don’t hate it.
The dinner table had gone completely silent. Not the oddest occurrence in the household, but definitely not a common one. Everyone was staring at Billy and Arsinoe with slight confusion until Mirabella stood and spoke.
“You did what last week?” She sounds seconds away from shouting and Arsinoe smiles sheepishly, brushing her hair back behind her ear as her other thumb stroked Billy’s hand.
“We, uh… well we got married,” Arsinoe says before sighing, “we love you guys and we wanted you to be there but we were sick of waiting and we were out at sea so we just had the captain marry us,” the couple shared a smile and Billy kissed her forehead. Kat sighed.
“Damn, so now there’s no way I can bully him into leaving,” she said, throwing her head back and groaning, “ugh, does this mean I have to be nice to him?” Mirabella and Arsinoe turned glares on her.
“Yes, Kat, you have to be nice to my boyf- to my husband,” Arsinoe says, before a smile cracks on her face. “Besides, you’ll have time to get used to the idea without us around. We leave for a honeymoon in Valostra tomorrow morning.”
~
“Ugh, I just don’t understand why I have to be nice to him. He’s not nice to me,” Kat moaned after Billy and Arsinoe had left that morning. Mirabella looked up from her book to watch her sister.
“He’s plenty nice considering how badly you treated him in Indrid Down and he has managed to forgive you for Arsinoe’s sake, so you can be nice to him for the same reason,” Mirabella says sternly. Kat huffs and rolls her eyes, but she knows Mirabella is right. Billy had been completely forgiving about the whole torturing situation and hadn’t hesitated when Katharine had come to live in the manor. And he loved her sister like nothing she had ever seen. She groaned again and rolled off the couch, leaving Mirabella alone.
~
Arsinoe and Billy return from Valostra smiling and laughing, not even realising Mirabella and Katharine were in the room. Even Kat, who loathed public displays of affection kind of found it cute. But she was on a mission so she stood and clapped her hands to get their attention. The couple looked over and realised the room had occupants.
“Billy, you and I need to talk. Grab your coat and let’s go,” Arsinoe looks confused and Billy looks concerned, but, good man he is, he grabs his coat.
~
She takes him to lunch as a notion of good will. It is tremendously awkward during the first course, but eventually Kat is spurred to words when she notices Billy’s wedding ring. You can do this for Arsinoe she thinks before clearing her throat and opening her mouth to speak.
“So, um, did you enjoy your honeymoon? You both looked really happy when you got home,” she says, hoping to steer the conversation into a topic that Billy might be more comfortable to speak about. He sips his drink and a small smile comes across his face.
“Valostra was lovely. The art galleries were magnificent and the food was to die for. And, it was nice to just be with Arsinoe with no pressing concerns. How did you and Mira fair while we were gone?” Billy says, polite as always.
“We were okay. I finished my cross stitch,” she says nonchalantly.  Billy smiles slightly.
“Is that the one said ‘cross stitch is a waste of time’?” He asks and Kat stares at him in shock, “Arsinoe told me about it. She found it funny. Are you okay, Kat?” Sh gave him a confused look. “You hate small talk with people you do like, let alone me, who you can’t stand,” Billy says innocently enough and Kat has to grudgingly give him credit for knowing her.
“I am trying to be nicer because I love Arsinoe and she loves you enough to spend the rest of her life with you so I’m just trying to be kinder to you and to seperate you from your father’s mistakes,” Kat says, rubbing the back of her neck. Billy nods.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay. What would you like for second course?”
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silenthillbunni · 3 years
Text
i never talk abt this bc i dont want to but it's actually hurtful that my mom can be compassionate and understanding to fictional characters who self harm. but she never extends that sympathy to me. she's never even talked to me about it. she had to drive her 16yr old to the er for stitches, but she's never sat down and talked about it. or helped. maybe she's more scared of confrontation than she thinks but it hurts that she left it alone.
i was a teenager and i needed help but all i learned was that im all on my own in this. and that was when i stopped caring. i've sh a bit after that but it holds no weight to me because nothing. nothing matters. no one cares. we are all alone in all we do. or at least i am. im glad if others have support but i will always be alone. so why cant i just get to escape? why cant i just go when it doesn't matter if im here or not anyway. why dont i get to just stop hurting all on my own?
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tartypatoos · 6 years
Text
hey umm mao’s back story in the form of IM’s bc i’m a lazy fucker
tartypatoos icry bc growing up mao never hears the word woman or mom , and the idea that she's possibly not a mutant or not a turtle terrifies her bc it's all she knows
batalert Mao: idk who i am Babs: u is kind. u is smart. u is important. and u is my baby sis.
tartypatoos aaaaaa mao is just super upset the first time a villan tells her she's a human and sits her down and cross references her with the turtles
batalert Babs, cradling Mao's head while covering her ears: sHU T  U P
tartypatoos and in her story line it's one of the things that destroys her and triggers her depression and the part of her story where she runs away , gets kidnapped and tortured by the shredder , then finds out he's her biological father
batalert me, suddenly remembering an under co Foot Clan oc i have: i wanna give Mao two sisters now if u wouldn't m i n d
tartypatoos aaaAAAA GIVE HERALL THE SISTERS
batalert KJHGKJFDHGDKJ NI C E
tartypatoos mao basically goes months without seeing the boys bc splinter had put her on a buss out of town so she'd be safe but she ran away and got kidnapped instead
batalert me, preparing a care packet for her: poor baby girl. poor baby.
tartypatoos yeee when she does escape splinter gets mad at first because he was sending her away to avoid this and it puts a wedge in their relationship
batalert n O ;A;
batalert P O O R B A B Y G I R L give her a break 2k17
tartypatoos ummmm n ever ?
batalert Babs, filling out adoption papers: we'll see about that hgfjghjgh Babs. ily. but  p ls
tartypatoos thats actually when they find out about her maotations
batalert mAOTATIONS GOD i'll never be over that props to u
tartypatoos asdfghjk and she starts loosing her mind to the personalities of each one left over and warring in her head and not all of them are good ?
tartypatoos mikey gives them all nicknames some of them are like different aspects of her personality or personified emotions and then others are complete induvuals who know all of maos nlife and memories
batalert b OI IT'S LIKE INSIDE OUT BUT INSTEAD OF JUST EMOTIONS ALONE IT'S PERSONALITY ASPECTS BYE I'M SH  O OK
tartypatoos yeah but like mutating is painful for her and she can feel them trying to take over constantly when she isn't mutated and she knows that hypothetically they could make her not ever exist in her own body again
batalert yeah and i'm just :') imagining her pained grunts and cries as she shifts . mutates and i'm :') not okay gIVE HER A B R E AK ah ahhahaha wow fuck that hur ts
tartypatoos y EP
tartypatoos
and raph starts to get scared when one takes over enough where she destroys her room , breaks the music box donnie gave her and comes seconds away from lashing out and slitting his throat
batalert B I H I STG pls fight Babs but also Babs being gentle with Mao after this shit instead of being afraid and just pets her hair like "it's okay, Mao. it's okay."
tartypatoos and its a tiny cut but only bc raph stopped her and he nows donnie is the person she cares about the most
batalert yes that's a Return Of The Joker ref and i'm hurting jhgghfgjf wELP
tartypatoos om g
batalert Raph: knows Donnie is the only one she cares about now Raph:
tartypatoos so she is horrified and immediately runs because she doesn't wanna hurt anyone else
tartypatoos and raph tends to donnie before deciding he's going to ' talk ' to her
batalert ah ahah haha "talk" when there's quotation marks that does not mean talk and i'm :''''')
tartypatoos he finds her crying on a rooftop and she hears him and she's so happy and she asks if donnie is okay then then he pulls out his sai's and she's just mortified because it hits her about whats about to happen
tartypatoos he chases her and pins her on a siderailing and she's going super unstable and he just looks her in the eyes as he stabs her before tossing her off into the street
batalert https://youtu.be/2LuGzwNy2ws?t=1m7s
tartypatoos also she gets hit by a car on the way down
tartypatoos but she doesn't die
batalert fUCK U??????????? STOP HURTING ME oh thank god
tartypatoos instead raph panics and runs bc she wasn't supposed to survive that bc now she can snitch on him and oh my god humans just found her and she'll tell everyone about them
batalert "bc now she can snitch on him" i know i shouldn't have but i fucking snorted so l  o ud
tartypatoos asdfghjkl
batalert gfdkjgfkjghkjd
batalert "snitches get stitches" bITCH SHE NEEDS STITCHES BC SHE'S WOUNDED DAMN SON
tartypatoos ASDFGHJKL but she ends up admitted into a hospital in a three month coma and donnie finds out and basically is determined to break her out as soon as she's awake bc then she won't be under constant watch and raph lies and says it was shredder who did it so they don't know yet and on one of raphs shifts to watch her he skips and when it's donnies turn he freaks bc she's gone
batalert ah hah aha hah a i'm not okay fuck this fuck u bye i'm i need some fUCKING TIS SU ES STOP HURTING THE ABBY BABY
batalert FML
tartypatoos sdfghjkl turns out she did tell everyone she was just begging to go home bc mikey needs her and she wants to know if donnie is okay
batalert :')))))))))))))))))
tartypatoos but they can't find her long ass name on record and they assume she's just delusional
batalert
tartypatoos so she gets sent to a psychiatric ward and she's fine at first at least until someone tells her her family doesn't exist and she just looses it and she ATTACKS THEm
batalert mA O PLS FAM I STG GIVE HER A BREA K
tartypatoos so she gets put in solitary and drugged up and strapped to a table and pretty much is just zombified and they drive it into her head that none of her family exists
tartypatoos so when they do pin down her location they find her with a sheet over her body and face , strapped down to a table and when they take it off she just shows no emotion she's like ' oh my imaginary friends came back ' and it just crushes all of them
batalert and it just crushes my heart i
batalert need to lie down i am one wounded bITCH my friend :') i c b
tartypatoos they pretty much bring her home and she's completely numb emotionally and physically they had her so drugged she can't even stand they just lay her in her bed and wait in the next room just trying to figure out what to do
batalert imma go mobile till i fall asleep bc this stupid bitch hasn't slept all night bc again she's stupid so i'll be back in a few hours fjghfjhgjf
tartypatoos asdfghjkl
batalert pls spam me with anything else u wanna share if u'd like! i love coming back to cool stuff <3
tartypatoos s ame tho
tartypatoos aaaaaa oKIE
batalert sorry to poof i'm just so sore i feel death poking my lower bac k fghfkjghkjf i sHALL RETURN later fghfjgfhgj
tartypatoos YEEEEE basically they start fighting and it takes her like a week before the drugs wear off
tartypatoos and when they do she just wakes up to an exhausted donnie and a sleeping mikey and leo on her bed and raph is nowhere to be seen and she just starts crying and they all just hold her and splinter runs in and donnie asks her what happened and she just
tartypatoos she wont say
tartypatoos and when she falls asleep again donnie looks at her wounds and he just loses it bc he knows what shredder given wounds look like and that aint it so he runs to raph and just goes off enough to wake her up and her first reaction is to run /bCtHaTfIxEsEvErYtHiNg/
tartypatoos she makes it to the top of one of the skyscrapers and thats when everything hits rock bottom she blames herself and she /knows/ they'd be better off without her so she jumps but this time raph and donnie followed her donnie jumps after her and grabs he and they cry and scream at each other on the way down before last second metal head pulls them away from the ground
tartypatoos and they just cry together on a rooftop and that's when they realized they were being ambushed and donnie tries to block her from a blast of mutagen only for maoyonnie to be born
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