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deltaengineering · 3 years

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that was the winter anime 2021 that was

Still not quite ready for a dozen posts about how terrible the likes of Combatants Will Be Dispatched are, sorry. Watch Vivy though, it owns. Here’s some more things that are (mostly) good. As always, worst to best.

Yatogame-chan Kansatsu Nikki S3

Yatogame has long run out of hot Nagoya facts and its ensemble comedy never amounted to much, so now it seems mostly content to just spam more and more wacky character designs. About the only thing that it has left going for it is that 3 minutes a week are more effort to drop than to watch, so I expect them to make a movie next. 4/10

Go-toubun no Hanayome S2

Quints is a weird one. S1 was a barely good enough (i.e., well above average) implementation of the ages old harem chestnut. S2 is actually better at the core of its appeal, since it gives all the characters a sharper profile (things like taking Nino from joke to badass and making Ichika a villain are no mean feat), but it does pay a steep price for it. You see, to deliver a steady drip feed of meaningful character moments it apparently has to rush through the source material at a breakneck pace, which completely wrecks the "story" part of this story and makes every episode seem like a recap. And it still keeps wasting precious time on vestigial nonsense like its framing device and the Kyoto flashback scenario that was already the worst part of S1. But by far the most annoying aspect is its insistence on keeping all the options valid, since it prevents any real progress and makes everything seem arbitrary and pointless. So sure enough, after a season of much ado we still don't end up anywhere — you can't really raise the stakes if all at stake was "who wins" to begin with. It's watchable and even enjoyable scene-for-scene but it's getting harder and harder to call it a solid show overall. 5/10

Skate Leading Stars

I was watching this primarily because I didn't like Yuri on Ice much and wanted to see if something that is a blatant attempt to cash in on it would be better — because while YoI delivers on one aspect (being hella gay), it really is an absolute shambles of a sports show. And sure enough, Skate Leading has none of the auteur appeal of YoI, but it just works much better. In particular I appreciate how it managed to make me care even a little about a cast of assholes, which is a nice contrast to the nauseatingly ingratiating way YoI tries to make you love its characters. Also, Skate Leading is just generally cheap and unambitious, so not susceptible to trying hard and painfully flaming out on the presentation side like YoI is. But at some point you gotta let go of these comparisons and on its own Skate Leading is... just fine, I guess? Competent, mildly engaging, not very memorable. And that's probably where it loses to Yuri on Ice in the end after all, even if I think it's "better". 6/10

Idoly Pride

Idoly Pride sold itself on me with a really good (and hilarious/tragic) first episode that was just too bizarre to ignore — I mean, how can you ignore GHOST IDOL MANAGERS. Well, the majority of the show isn't like that. It's a competent and solid version of the idol franchise show, yes, but it really had more potential than that. Especially midseason, it gets lost in these dozens of characters, and while they're all likeable, it does seem like a waste of a good story just centered on Mana/Kotona/Sakura. By the end it comes back around to the heart of the matter with a Maeda-style sob story, which could be a disaster but seasoned veteran Jukki Hanada makes it work anyway. Overall, there's quite a bit of ridiculous hacky melodrama in this, but quite honestly that's the best part and I wish it would concentrate more on it. The rest is just okay. 6/10

Yuru Camp S2

Yuru Camp is still likely the best pure iyashikei show when it gets down to business. Compared to S1 though, this seems to happen less and less. At its peaks (i.e., basically any quiet moment with Rin) it's at least as good as ever, and there's some good cast additions like Mini-Inuko, but it appears that Yuru Camp simply has run out of things you can do with camping and it fills up the time with other... stuff. This stuff includes the generic school club shenanigans it was never particularly good at, and a gigantic helping of crass consumerism. Yeah, I would say the majority of Yuru Camp is just a straight up infomercial at this point, which itself ranges from the perfectly acceptable (which cute anime isn't about food constantly), to the sketchy (I don't know whether the Izu tourism board cut this production a fat check, but if they didn't, Yuru Camp still gives its best effort to make it seem that way) to the highly irritating – I am aware that camping requires gear and you can't just ignore that, but you most definitely do not require whole arcs dedicated to talking about raising funds for the purposes of acquiring the Lamp of Comfy Happiness at your friendly local Caribou™ either. Not to mention an arc where the aforementioned lame school club does the same, for double irritation. Make no mistake, this show is so riddled with scenes that beg for a solution to embed affiliate links in video files that it makes me wish I was watching something as anticapitalist and underground as Love Live. And irritating really is the last thing a show with this core concept, as stellar as it is at that, can afford to be. Bummer. 6/10

SKOO the Infinity

Skoo has one really huge asset: ADAM, its magnificent villain. It also has one really huge liability: Reki, its not magnificent protagonist. To be more specific, it's very good at anything outrageous, physics-defying and silly, such as most scenes ADAM is in, and quite bad at anything serious, dramatic (in a serious way) and down to earth, such as most scenes Reki is in. So, what's the verdict? Well, the rest of the cast is more ADAM-like, and Reki's co-protagonist Langa is fine as the straight (yeah, right) man. The tedious buddy drama is a comparatively small part of this show, and at least it pays off quite well in the end. Seriously, I was ready to give this a 6, but the final episode is probably the best one of the show, in all of its aspects. That's really not something you see often. Skoo's a great time. Except when it's not. 7/10

Non Non Biyori Nonstop

Speaking of the rare good ending, what about we gave one of those to a slim and inconsequential slice-of-life show? NNB has always been solid, comfy and amusing quality with a couple of standout moments (usually something with Renge), and Nonstop has that plus an ending as conclusive as any show of this type is ever going to have. Besides, it does a lot of things right by focusing on more characters than the central 4 (especially Konomi has great material in S3), it expands the universe just enough to not get stale, and it moves things forward — It's definitely a lot better than the movie, is what I'm saying. Apart from that, well, we're three seasons in, if you have any interest in this you probably don't need me to explain what's good about NNB at this point. Bonus points for being nothing but an ad for the manga. 7/10

Wonder Egg Priority

Oh boy, so here's the big one. Wonder Egg is the rare Meaningful Arthouse Show About Real Issues You Guys, as you might have heard. And well, the long and short of it is that it's a very good show with quite a few glaring problems (besides not actually being finished due to production issues, but what we have is enough of an ending to be able to meaningfully talk about it). In particular, one problem: WEP is, at its core, one of these metaphorical Magical Girl-ish series that are just a thin layer of abstraction over coming-of-age or societal problems. The issue is that "metaphorical" in this case means "literal" and "thin" means "basically nonexistent". This show is not subtle regarding what it's about, at all. This is a double-edged sword — on the positive side, some things really should just be said aloud, and I'm really, really fucking tired of the Ikuhara style of "here's some wacky things, maybe a blog post will eventually tell you how it's actually about the most important thing ever" obfuscation — if it's really so important, just spell it out. On the other hand, there are limits to this and when a second, different Ai appears I don't really need a voiceover line telling me that yep, this show is about parallel universes now. WEP spells out many important things, but it also spells out many things that are implicitly clear or better left vague. Not to mention that with being so obvious up front, the show's tendency to leave figuring out what it's actually saying about it up to the viewer can leave the wrong impression. Again, I settled on the opinion that it's subtle after all where it counts the most, but you might easily get the impression that it pulls its punches (Ikuhara does this the exact other way around — once you figure out what the fuck he's talking about it's abundantly clear what he's saying about it).

In fact, this show is so good at subtle, quiet character moments that it calls into question the need for big huge fighting fantasy layer in the first place, especially since I'm not a fan of the fantasy designs and the fights aren't great. Sure, they look impressive on a technical level (this show is very good looking in general), but the lack of actual impact or rhythm makes me think this is not made by people who are very familiar with action and maybe they should have asked some seasoned shounen veterans for this — or just, you know, not do it. They can (and do) impress with character acting in quiet scenes just the same. And while Ai's character story actually does pay off quite nicely by the end we got, and Momoe and Rika are also handled well, Neiru's backstory is significantly less good, not to mention the whole Frill subplot regarding the show's mythology that they introduced just before (and that's the part to be resolved at a later date), which is a huge can of worms. We'll see how well they handle that, I suppose, but as it is it's a weird and vestigial detour that doesn't add much besides thematic headaches.

But yeah, apart from all that — I like it, a lot. Great character writing in the details, cool looks for the most part, tons of ambition, and a message that I consider to be appropriately handled — for the most part, and for now. Not quite ambitious arthouse anime at its finest, but also not a pretentious disaster like Sarazanmai, Monogatari et al. 8/10

#anime #review #winter2021 #Yatogame-chan Kansatsu Nikki #Go-toubun no Hanayome #Skate Leading Stars #Idoly Pride #Yuru Camp #sk8 the infinity #Non Non Biyori #wonder egg priority

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x-nephophile-x · 3 years

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For the ask game: 1, 3, 5, 13, 23 (the LI in this context of course being our favorite brain parasite :P)

(I answered 1 and 3 in my recent post so I’ll skip to 5: how do your loved ones (LI, found family, etc) feel about you being a merc? or if you’ve given up the life now that everything’s finished, what was their reaction? Ohh. Okay, well, for found family first, Vera grew very close to Panam, Judy, and River (I didn’t do Kerry’s quests yet with her, i got impatient to go to embers on my first playthrough ahfaiefjaf, she’s going here shortly on my second tho and I guarantee Kerry and her shall be bffs but I don’t know enough about his character to describe how he would feel regarding her merc work anyways i ramble). I think all are, in a way, accepting but gradually concerned regarding Vera’s mercwork. They accept it because V is clearly enjoying the work, is good at it, which lays rest to some of their concerns, but, mercs and civvies and gonks alike all drop dead in Night City on the regular. Wrong place wrong time is often enough, but V is actively seeking out those more dangerous people, places, and affairs and actively putting herself in the midst of it all, so there’s always that concern, especially from someone like River or Judy who actively live in the city and see the worst it has to offer. Johnny, however, having a different perspective, is in her head while she runs these jobs. I imagine eventually Johnny is able to peak through with control every now and again and its likely saved her hide a few times too- a forceful shove back when peeping out woulda’ gotten her spotted here, a reflex with pistols and melee attack combos that she shouldn’t have. Vera definitely doesn’t like when people end up in her personal space and I think she’s the type to freeze unless she’s the one initiating the charge so Johnny has definitely forced her to react and push through that one second panic that can make or break you in combat before. Johnny ofc gets worried, but he knows better after the first few gigs I imagine to keep his trap shut and not distract her with concerned ‘V”s and mutterings of what to do in the situation because it just slows her down. 13: Hoo okay. So, I’m religious, in some capacity? I don’t know, I was raised catholic, but I don’t like organized religion and I’m also LGBT (hello cognitive dissonance!) so its been a Journey, so I don’t just wanna sit here and say “Hi I’m Catholic” cuz, well, catholics can be super judgy in the best of times. So when I say this quest made me uncomfortable, I 100 percent am not judging anyone who completed it/found it cool/found it interesting/any other opinions on it. However the Sinnerman quest had me fucked up. I did it up to the Crucifixion and couldn’t proceed simply because I didn’t feel comfortable doing it, but I did watch it on Youtube to see what happened, since there was like, that disconnect there, I guess? And based on how many actual button prompts there are, I’m glad I bailed when I did. This quest was super interesting, very thought provoking, and also allowed for a lot of roleplay opportunity for V in general. My V is similar to me religiously in that, she believes in God but not organized religion, but she also avoids thinking about it too hard. I also gotta’ give it credit since it does touch on religion which can be an uncomfortable subject for many on how many times it gives you an out- you can quit that quest at many points and I just appreciate the fact that its an idea and concept being explored and the writers understood that the nature of it might be upsetting to some. (I don’t do well with religious themes in general) And finally, number 23: assuming you’ve fallen in love over the course of your journey, what does your ideal life with your SO look like? (aka, what’s your canon ending with your favorite LI) Johnny. My brain parasite. So, my canon ending is The Secret Ending + Temperance (You’re V in Mikoshi instead of Johnny is the difference here). I enjoyed Vera’s story of slowly letting down her walls, learning to trust, learning to love, learning what leaving a legacy meant to her, and that legacy was leaving memories and love and goodness in those she held close. It meant helping Judy, Panam, River, (KERRY BB IM SORRY) and Johnny. She fell in love with Johnny, pure and simple, and the best thing she could do for him, given that she had no desire to live out the remaining bit of her life in pain both from the dying and from the Johnny shaped hole that would be left within her, was give her body, and thus a second chance, to him. And her trust wasn’t misplaced, even though she questioned it plenty throughout their journey, and I think wherever she is, she’d be at peace with that decision. However, FUCK CANON, Vera is an AMAZING Netrunner so she found a way to reach out to him and ofc Johnny threw down everything to save her, track down his own body, blah blah sci fi concepts and now they each have their bodies back and they’re in love and move a little ways outside of NC to be happy with Nibbles and Johnny keeps in contact with Steven and V gets to still see her found family (Misty, Vik, GORO, Mama Welles, River, Panam, Judy, KERRY BB IM SORRY) and they��re happy :)

#Cyberpunk 2077 #Cyberpunk 2077 spoilers #Johnny Silverhand #KERRY BB IM SORRY #Mads Vera #Cyberpunk asks #THIS IS SO FUN I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

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philalethistry · 4 years

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WELP my birthday month was a bit of a rollercoaster ride. I thought about the cons of posting this but I’d like to record it, so that future me can look back and, depending on how the future goes, either feel validated or be glad that this is over. Warning: discussion of crappy mental health.

TL;DR Breakdown results in will to live and fuck current events I have a recliner

I’m going to start with today, Sept. 1, and work back, for reasons.

Today I drove to a furniture thrift store. This doesn’t sound like much, but I A. hate driving, especially to new places, B. am already in a pretty anxious state, and C. I got lost because the road I wanted to turn on wasn’t marked, nor looked like a road rather than an alley, and so I somehow spent two hours trying to find one store. (At one point I had to stop and get something to eat because I had started shaking. The cashier watched me struggle to free two bills from my wallet and then declined the change I owed her to avoid making me retrieve that too. I wonder if she thought I was high...)

The important thing about what I did today, is I went out to find the store, and even when I did not find the store and ended up circling back to my street, instead of going home and having a sandwich and watching Youtube, I turned around again. I know it’s partially because of this video’s explanation of why one gets more nervous trying to do something a second time after procrastinating or running away from it, as I’d always pin the anxiety on my guilt, instead of a fear instinct which is more managable. But I’m going to give dopamine where dopamine is due and also say that my eventual victory was partially because of the newfound strength I have in the aftermath of the freak mental storm that enveloped the start of August.

I know that no one is doing “””okay””” right now, because of Everything, and that is nicely validating, because I am not okay either. But it’s dissonant, because I’d often follow the lead of neurotypicals and high-functioning depressives and anxious people when I’m in a bad way. If THEY say things aren’t as hopeless as I think they are, they probably aren’t! While that helped, it also downplayed my brain issues, and now that everyone has the same opinions on the State of Things, I realized I didn’t have any idea of how to confront the bad shit on my own, and neither does anyone else.

I’m technically still quarantining by refraining from making a lot of trips out and from getting a job, and so the murky pea-soup fogs of the future unsettle me. I was pretty chipper for the larger part of quarantine, as an introvert. Then one day, the thought suddenly occurred to me of the sheer amount of time I’ve spent in quarantine, how COVID isn’t receding from Arizona, how I had to quit the first job I’d gotten in the face of anxiety and depression, of how much of my future rests on the coming election, and most of all of how I have no idea what my future holds, of where I’ll be five or ten years down the line. “In the same place” and “Somewhere else” seem equally intimidating.

And then hormones struck.

I’ve had bad depressive episodes; I’ve had bad days of anxiety; I’ve had bad PMS; and then I’ve simply indulged unhealthy negativity. All of these, combined, made for a surreal and frightening experience. Emphasis on surreal. Also, contextually, emphasis on frightening, obviously. There were many feelings. Emphasis on everything.

My mental space may be a mess but I’ve never been too concerned with dwelling on life and death, even when faced with the latter. It’s never been a point of any interest to me; in the face of mortality I’m pretty good at giving importance to the present moment and to my internal values, like “science cool,” “mocha good” and “drawing fun.” In fact since childhood (third grade. Is this a normal third grader thing??) I’ve been a fan of cheerful nihilism, IE “There isn’t a secret meaning to the universe therefore I can give it any meaning I can make! Anything is possible, things are great!” I didn’t really grasp the concept behind existential dread, it sounded like something that happened to movie characters when the writers didn’t know how else to portray angst. Oh boy, do I have a new emotion I won’t be able to forget. My natural disaster of a brain supplied me, among everything I was already experiencing, three (3!!!) different categories of existential crisis. I had to look it up. And the weird thing about this Satan’s asscrack of an episode, is that while I’m prone to spiraling rumination, normally I can distract myself, because it’s still just me, thinking unhelpful thoughts. This time, these thoughts, the shittiest thoughts I’ve ever had the displeasure of producing, were automatic. I was not getting stuck pondering one bad topic; everything I saw became, in real time, entangled in the web of thought pattern in the most natural way. And it was LOUD.

Have you ever thought, “I’ll sit on the couch, the couch is comfy. The couch did not exist until a few years ago, its lack of existence had no impact on anything in any meaningful way, and when it turns to dust it will be forgotten.” Because I myself had a teensy bit of an inkling that maybe that ain’t normal. The thing is, I knew I was only feeling this way because, well, I Was Feeling That Way, it’s just the mood; but being stuck in isolation, and with everyone else also troubled by issues of the past, the present and the future, knowing that didn’t help.

I can remain in a depressive / anxious state for a little while, but the actual peaks only last at most a couple of hours. This was Mt. Everrest AND it lasted a week and a half. I was at the end of my rope a day in and had no idea what to do about it, so I tried to do everything. The physical present felt empty, so I tried to fill it with media, literature, art, walks, family time. Problem is, “anhedonia” - a symptom of depression where you don’t get dopamine boosts from activities - cuts pleasure out of these things, so nothing held my interest, let alone made me feel motivated or remotely better. Another symptom of depression, weirdly enough, is the feeling of disgust - I wasn’t conscious of this symptom until it was magnified. I felt completely and utterly repulsed by everything around me. I first thought it was the clutter, then the way the furniture was arranged, then I thought I’d been inside too long so I took walks in the neighborhood when nobody was out. The confusion came when I disliked the trees, grass, and fresh air too - I had to Google my feelings to find out what the heck was going on.

Which brings me to my bedroom. My room is littered with memorabalia, I’m sentimental so I have little shrines of items from the past and of things I value. Some childhood toys and a handful of old trinkets, shelves dedicated to Pokemon and Neil Gaiman’s work, some references to Chicago and Polish heritage. My unhappiness with the situations of the present, while strengthened to an totally unnecessary degree, weren’t all inaccurate - and in combination with anhedonia and disgust, and the way I’d integrated this memorabalia into my sense of self even though they aren’t really relevant to me anymore, I found that I really really didn’t like my past or reminders of it. In a shocking unpredicted turn of tables, I no longer wanted to uphold who I once was, because it isn’t who I am now, and it’s not who I want to be.

And the revulsion of the past and the uncertain emptiness of the present culminates in a future that I feared, another emotion booted up to eleven. There was a big need to make my future and remake myself. The only places left comfort could be found were ones I hadn’t yet looked. At the same time I became sad in a powerful but vague way and desperately lonely - this part was definitely all the feral hormones - and I became obsessed, for a little while, with making sure that, when quarantine ends, I would get my social life in order. I preemptively joined groups and clubs in my local area online, which I’m still going to make good on later but maybe not to the all-encompassing extent I had in my mind at the time. Also, career hunting. (Also also, to combat a lack of control, I wanted to get my own place - but with the economy like That, and my ass like This, big alone time while also being very poor and probably overworked is not the best of ideas.)

So. The freak episode ended. And I knew. Both during. And afterwards. That I Do Not Want That to Happen Again. To put it lightly. So now I’m trying to find an antidepressant that works for me. I’ve been medicated for three weeks now. Lower anxiety, not many mood swings, but still anhedonia, and the aftertaste of existential dread which will forever haunt me. I’m completely overhauling my bedroom, because it was messy anyway and has basically looked the same since forever which can’t be good for my mental health. So there’s going to be new bedsheets (chocolate), new curtains to kill sunlight because while I enjoy it outdoors it makes the room feel exposed since the window is groundlevel and faces the street, a whole ass recliner thrifted for only 20 bucks(!) to go in a brand new study corner along with a nice aggressively patterned brown rug, and finally the grody offwhite walls will be repainted a warm inviting brown that was named “spiced cinnamon.” No matter what happens, I look forward to spending the winter in the study, invoking a cozy comfort the Danes call “hygge,” and hopefully building my gallery or participating in my interests, including fandom, in another way. And, once my budget allows it, getting some fucking therapy, what the fuck.

#long post #weezy lost their mind for a little while #so that's where I been #but at least I have motivation now #funny how fear can lead to positive changes like that

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claudia1829things · 5 years

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"FLASHMAN AT THE CHARGE" (1973) Book Review

"FLASHMAN AT THE CHARGE" (1973) Book Review Serving as the fourth entry in George MacDonald Fraser’s The Flashman Papers, this 1973 novel continued the story of Harry Flashman, a character previously from the 1857 novel, "Tom Brown’s Schooldays" and now a British Army officer in Fraser’s novels. This particular novel, "FLASHMAN AT THE CHARGE", recalled Flashman’s experiences during the Crimean War (1854-1856) and Imperial Russia’s expansion into Central Asia.

One could say that "FLASHMAN AT THE CHARGE" could almost serve as a prequel to Fraser’s 1975 novel about the Sepoy Rebellion, "FLASHMAN IN THE GREAT GAME". Almost. But it seemed quite obvious to me that the latter is a sequel to the 1973 novel. At least two supporting characters from this novel reappeared in "FLASHMAN IN THE GREAT GAME". And the theme of Imperial Russia’s attempts to wrestle control of India from Great Britain in the 1975 novel, began in this novel. The 1973 novel began with Harry Flashman enjoying the London social scene with his beautiful wife, Elspeth. With Great Britain on the brink of war against Russia on Turkey’s behalf, the cowardly Flashman believed that the only way to avoid combat was to have his Uncle Bindley secure him a post with the Board of Ordinance – the British Army’s armory. However, Flashman’s luck failed to hold (not surprisingly) and his meeting with the young German prince, William of Celle (a relation of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert) led him to become a staff galloper for Lord Raglan, the British Army’s Commander-in-Chief. The new position drew Harry against his will into the chaos of the Crimean War and in becoming a participant of one of history’s most infamous cavalry engagements – the Charge of the Light Brigade. This famous military action also led him to becoming a prisoner-of-war at the estate of a Cossack nobleman named Count Pencherjevsky At Count Pencherjevsky’s estate, Starkosk, Flashman has a reunion with a former Rugby schoolmate, Harry "Scud" East. After the two English prisoners learned of Russia’s plans to invade India and kick the British out, they decided to make their escape following a serf uprising at Starkosk. Unfortunately for Flashman, a sleigh accident led to his recapture by the Russians and a political officer named Count Nicholas Ignitieff. Flashy’s incarceration at Fort Raim led him to an acquaintance with two famous Muslim freedom fighters from the state of Kokodad, Yakub Beg and Issat Kutebar. Luck finally caught up with Flashman, when he and his two new acquaintances are rescued by Yakub Beg’s mistress, Ko Dali’s daughter, and a band of Kokodans. Following the rescue, Harry participated in one last action against the Russians against his will . . . so to speak. I must admit that "FLASHMAN AT THE CHARGE" turned out to be a well-structured and well-written novel. Unless I am mistaken, the novel was written into three parts – the London prelude, Flashman’s Crimean War experiences that included his time as a prisoner-of-war at the Starkosk estate, and finally his incarceration at Fort Raim and experiences with the Kokadans. Fraser began the novel on a strong note and finished it in a similar manner. My only sole complaint centered on Flashman’s journey to Starkosk and his time at the estate. In short, it seemed to me that the sequence threatened to bog down the pace. I suspect that Fraser’s in-depth look into Imperial Russian serfdom during this sequence is responsible. As much as I found it interesting, I also wondered if Fraser got caught up in his subject, which would seem ironic considering his failure to explore American slavery in the 1971 novel, "FLASH FOR FREEDOM!". As much as I had enjoyed Flashman’s time spent with Count Pencherjevsky and his family on the Starkosk estate, no one felt more relieved than me when he and "Scud" East finally escaped, thanks to a serf uprising. I had become rather weary of Flashman’s period as a prisoner-of-war. Despite some of my problems with the novel, I cannot deny that "FLASHMAN AT THE CHARGE" is a well-written novel. Fraser did an excellent job in recapturing London during the early and mid 1850s and Great Britain’s pro-war mood on the cusp of the Crimean War. He also expertly drew readers into the world of the British Army during the first months of the war. His description of the Army caps and hospitals at Alma just before the Battle of Balaclava literally had me cringing in my seat a bit: "So the siege was laid, the French and ourselves sitting down on the muddy, rain-sodden gullied plateau before Sevastopol, the dismalest place on earth, with no proper quarters but a few poor huts and tents, and everything to be carted up from Balaclava on the coast eight miles away. Soon the camp, and the road to it, was a stinking quagmire; everyone looked and felt filthy, the rations were poor, the work of preparing the siege was cruel hard (for the men, anyway), and all the bounce there had been in the army after Alma evaporated in the dank, feverish rain by day and the biting cold by night. Soon half of us were lousy, as some wags said, who’d holiday at Brighton if he could come to sunny Sevastopol instead?" Another memorable passage featured Flashman’s participation in the Light Brigade Charge. Fraser did a superb job in describing not only the Battle of Balaclava, but particularly the Light Brigade Charge. I found his description of the famous military charge filled with heady action, chaos and terror – especially from Flashman’s point-of-view: "I had only a moment to look back – my mare was galloping like a thing demented, as I steadied, there was Cardigan, waving his sabre and standing in his stirrups; the guns were only a hundred yards away, almost hiddenin a great billowing bank of smoke, a bank which kept glaring red as though some Lucifer were opening furnace doors deep inside it. There was no turning, no holding back, and even in that deafening thunder I could hear the sudden chorus of yells behind me as the torn remnant of the Light Brigade gathered itself for the final mad charge into the battery. I dug my heels, yelling nonsense and brandishing my sabre, shot into the smoke with one final rip from my bowels and a prayer that my gallant little mare wouldn’t career headlong into a gun-muzzle, staggered at the fearful concussion of a gun exploding within a yard of me – and then we were through, into the open space behind the guns, leaping the limbers and ammunition boxes with the Russians scattering to let us through, and Cardigan a bare two yards away, reining his beast back almost on its haunches." However, one of my favorite chapters in the novel featured Flashman and the Kokordans’ attempts to destroy the Russian gunboats filled with weapons to be used against the Kokordans and the invasion of India. Before this battle took place, Ko Dali’s daughter drugged the cowardly officer with hashish (bhang) in order to force him to overcome his fear for the operation. The scene of the cowardly Flashy acting like George Armstrong Custer on crack struck me as one of the funniest passages in the entire series: "God, what a chaos it was! I was galloping like a dervish at Kutebar’s heels, roaring 'Hark forrard! Ha-ha, you bloody foreigners, Flashy’s here!', careering through the narrow spaces between the sheds, with the muskets banging off to our left, startled sleepers crying out, and everyone yelling like be-damned. As we burst headlong onto the last stretch of open beach, and swerved past the landward end of the pier, some stout Russian was bawling and letting fly with a pistol; I left off singing 'Rule, Britannia' to take a shot at him, but missed, and there ahead someone was waving a torch and calling, and suddenly there were dark figures all around us, clutching at our bridles, almost pulling us from the saddles towards a big go-down on the north side of the pier." George MacDonald Fraser did take historical liberties with one particular character – the novel’s main villain, Count Nicholas Ignatieff. The author described the Russian character in the following manner: "And as our eyes met through the cigarette smoke I thought, hollo, this is another of those momentous encounters. You didn’t have to look at this chap twice to remember him forever. It was the eyes, as it so often is – I thought in that moment of Bismarck, and Charity Spring, and Akbar Khan; it had been the eyes with them, too. But this fellow’s were different from anything yet: one was blue, but the other had a divided iris, half-blue, half-brown, and the oddly fascinating effect of this was that you didn’t know where to look, but kept shifting from one to the other. For the rest, he had a gingerish, curling hair and square, masterful face that was no way impaired by a badly-broken nose. He looked tough, and immensely self-assured; it was in his glance, in the abrupt way he moved, in the slant of the long cigarette between his fingers, in the rakish tilt of his peaked cap, in the immaculate white tunic of the Imperial Guards. He was the kind who knew exactly what was what, where everything was, and precisely who was who – especially himself. He was probably a devil with women, admired by his superiors, hated by his rivals, and abjectly feared by his subordinates. One word summed him up: bastard." The above passage described Flashman’s opinion of Ignatieff during their first meeting on the road to Starkosk. They met for the second time, when Flashman and "Scud" East overheard Ignatieff, Czar Nicholas I and other Russian officials discuss plans to invade India during a secret meeting at Starkosk. And their third and final encounter happened after Flashman was recaptured, following his escape from Starkosk and attempt to reach the British lines on the Crimean peninsula. It was Ignatieff who tossed Flashman into the prison at Fort Raim. From what I have read, the real Ignatieff had never been quite the villain as portrayed in "FLASHMAN AT THE CHARGE". Fraser even admitted that he taken liberties with the character in order to provide the novel with a main villain. Mind you, I believe he could have done that a lot easier with a fictional character. Why he had decided to take a historical figure and change his character in order to make him an effective villain is beyond me. After reading "FLASHMAN AT THE CHARGE", it is easy to see why it remains very popular with many fans of Fraser’s novels. It is a well written comic-adventure tale filled with interesting characters – fictional and historical. The novel also featured two very unique passages, namely the infamous Charge of the Light Brigade and the usually cowardly Flashman behaving in a brave and aggressive man during a major battle. "FLASHMAN AT THE CHARGE" also happened to be one of those rare Flashman novels that began and ended on a strong note. Not only does it remain popular with many Flashman fans, I personally consider it to be one of Fraser’s better works.

#flashman at the charge #flashman series #harry flashman #crimean war

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sapphiresea · 7 years

Note

Questions For LGBT Ladies #LGBTask Answer them all hehe

questions for lgbt ladies #lgbtask

i’ll skip the ones i’ve already done. see previous post for answers.

1 ) how do you define your sexuality? lesbian af.2 ) at what age did you first realize that you like girls? my first crush was at age 8 but i didn’t recognize it as such until i was looking back later. my first inkling was when i was thirteen and my teacher said that one in ten people are gay, which meant at least two or three of us in my class were gay and i was like, “i wonder who the others are,” and then panicked. there were a few times like that and many a woman i ‘admired’ but i didn’t acknowledge it until i was nineteen.3 ) how out are you? pretty out. there’s only a few people left in my regular life who don’t know.5 ) who was the first person you came out to? how did they take it? the first person i told was courtney, who later became my first girlfriend. so that’s how she took it lol.6 ) has coming out lost you any friends? yup. not many, thankfully, but one of my best friends from high school was dating a super-homophobic ( and just all around terrible ) guy and he convinced her to stop being my friend. and considering how disgusted she acted whenever i did talk about my gf at the time, i was kind of over it anyway. i do kind of miss her sometimes though.7 ) what is your current relationship status? in a relationship~8 ) how many gay friends do you have? online? like a billion. offline? like one lmao.9 ) how many male friends do you have? i have a few male friends but only two i’d consider myself close to: peter and miguel.10 ) have you ever cut your hair super short? nope. chin-length was the shortest i ever went and i hated it.11 ) how often do you wear flannel? listen... i counted up all the plaids in my closet a few months ago and it totalled twelve. and i have since bought at least four more. a better question is how often am i not wearing it.12 ) how much do you like cats? i’m currently trying to get a new kitten, so every time someone in the house does something well, i’m like, “wow, you deserve a kitten!” and every time they don’t, i tell them, “that’ll cost you one kitten.” so far no bites. but i really, really love cats.13 ) do you like skirts and dresses? sometimes, if i’m in the mood...which isn’t often.15 ) do you have any tattoos? if so, how many and where? i do. i have two; one on each wrist. on my right wrist is my first tattoo, a triquetra, and on my left is an infinity arrow. i just got that one a week ago.16 ) how accurate is your gaydar? unfortunately my ‘gaydar’ is often very confused with my ‘please-be-gay-dar.’17 ) have you ever been to a gay bar or a gay club? yep. we only really have one here and it mostly tailors to men and straight girls, so i don’t like it that much. i went to a couple out of town. the one in san francisco ( i’m blanking on its name ) was by far the best.18 ) how do you feel when platonic female friends refer to each other as girlfriends? it’s so annoying. straight girls who refer to their female friends as ‘girlfriend’ owe me and all other sapphics $20 cash.19 ) have you ever had a crush on a straight girl? isn’t that, like, the most universal lesbian experience?20 ) ellen or portia? excuse me, what do you mean or ??? they’re the best together. but portia is my actual hero.21 ) is your nose pierced? nope.22 ) would you ever want to get married? if i meet a woman i’m certain i want to spend my life with, absolutely.23 ) will you wear a dress for your wedding? probably. 25 ) have you ever watched the l word? i watched the first season and maybe it makes me a bad lesbian, but i couldn’t get it into it.26 ) have you ever dated a guy? yep. nothing serious, though. i mean i literally gagged kissing one of them, so...27 ) how do you feel when someone uses the word gay to mean stupid, dumb, or boring? they’re probably stupid, dumb, and boring if they’re still using it for that.28 ) how many rainbow items do you own? lmao so many. my favorite recent addition is monty puckers, my stuffed gay gorilla.29 ) have you ever been to a pride festival? i just went to the one in my city last week.30 ) have you ever celebrated national coming out day ( october 11 )? i’ll usually post stuff about it and in support of all my lgbt siblings, but i’ve never uesd it to come out, myself.31 ) have you ever participated in the national day of silence? considering this is the first i’ve heard of it, no. but now i’m going to google to find out more.32 ) have you ever worn a woman’s suit? no, but women in suits 💯👌🏻👅 sign me tf up.33 ) have you ever worn any men’s clothing? i own a couple flannels from the men’s section and a few tees, but not really. i like my stuff more fitted.35 ) do you consider yourself a feminist? absolutely. intersectional, of course.36 ) who is your favorite lgbt celebrity? kate mckinnon, in case you can’t tell from my blog, is my #1. portia de rossi, stephanie beatriz, aubrey plaza, ani difranco, and melissa etheridge are pretty high up there, too.37 ) are you religious at all? yes. i don’t go to church every sunday anymore, but i do consider myself a non-denominational christian.38 ) how often do you find yourself trying to sneak a peak or staring at a cute female? i stare a lot. it’s kind of a problem.39 ) what is your ideal first date? usually for first dates, i like something lowkey where we can just get to know each other. after that, i like stuff like arcades and amusement parks and lots of movie dates and netflix.40 ) are you comfortable with terms such as lezzie, lesbo, or dyke? i’m great with them if they come from other lesbians. if they come from non-lesbians, no. miss me with that homophobic crap. it’s not yours to reclaim.41 ) how outdoorsy are you? i’m allergic to sun, so not very. i love the forest and walking down by the river and visiting elbow falls and such, but i can’t really do much of that anymore without ending up wanting to die.42 ) in general, has being out affected your relationships with other females? sometimes it’s really weird and i do notice them treating me differently, but usually it’s fine.43 ) how much makeup do you typically wear? not a lot, but i do wear a full face any time i’m going out or having company over. i just feel more comfortable with it.45 ) are you more feminine or more masculine? definitely femme. even if i don’t wear the heels.46 ) how long is the longest relationship you’ve been in? are you still with that person? coming up on nine months and yes. 47 ) have you and a girlfriend ever been mistaken for sisters? no. i don’t usually date girls who look enough like me lol.48 ) do you think it is possible for someone to truly be a 50/50 bisexual, or is the percentage always skewed in favor of one gender? i think it’s not my place to decide how other people experience attraction.49 ) have you ever wished you were completely straight? i used to when i was younger. now i’m really glad i’m not because girls are amazing and i love being a lesbian.50 ) do you watch any lesbian youtubers? sometimes. usually stevie or ally hills or hannah hart. i don’t watch any youtubers regularly though.51 ) do you like wearing combat boots or doc martins? motorcycle boots are my jam.52 ) have you ever been hit on by another female? yes. often. and a shining moment for me was being asked out by a girl while waiting for my date ( another girl ) to arrive. ( i said ‘no,’ obviously, but i was proud of myself. )53 ) how athletic are you? 0%. faked injuries to get out of p.e.; only runs when chased.55 ) what is your opinion of septum/bull nose piercings? not really into it, personally, but if that’s what makes you happy, i’m not judging. some chicks look really hot with them.56 ) what does equality mean to you? it means equal rights and protections under the law, but it also means that one day those laws won’t even be needed because people won’t have to be told that we’re human, too. it means no more stupid ass debates about whether companies can deny service to lgbt patrons or idiots on television saying lesbians caused the hurricanes. it means that kids won’t grow up thinking straight is the only option or that they’re somehow bad or wrong for being lgbt. it means we won’t all be assumed to be straight or cis.57 ) if you are not a full blown lesbian, about what percentage of the time do you find yourself attracted to other females? uhhhh? i don’t know? i don’t fall for every girl i see, if that’s the question. i definitely notice when girls are really attractive. 58 ) have you ever shared clothes with a girlfriend? no, but honestly...goals.59 ) have you ever liked or dated a girl with the same name as you? no. that’s, like, one of my main criteria. it would be way too weird. and unfortunately i have one of the most common names for sapphic women around here. i would, however, make an exception for stephanie beatriz. 60 ) how flirty are you? i can be pretty flirty, but usually only with people i’m in relationships with or who have already expressed interest in me.61 ) are you a virgin? no.62 ) do you listen to any lgbt musicians such as tegan and sara, melissa etheridge, or chely wright? all of the above, yes. i almost exclusively listen to lgbt artists, with a few exceptions like rob giles and emily kinney.63 ) have you ever been told that you are too pretty to be gay? yes. which i think is missing the entire point. other girls are too pretty for me not to be gay, and i’m not wasting myself on a dude.65 ) have you ever driven an suv or a pickup truck? i have not, as i am a terrible driver who would like the smallest car possible to avoid collision. i have, however, been picked up for dates in both and yes. a+ 10/10 do recommend.66 ) are you or have you ever been a tomboy? as a kid i always thought i wanted to be a tomboy but was far too girly...turns out i was just in love with the tomboys.67 ) agree or disagree: everyone is at least a little bit gay. disagree. sexuality is fluid for some and less for others.68 ) what personality trait are you most attracted to? sense of humor and kindness.69 ) boobs or butts? eyes. but also boobs.70 ) beer or wine? vodka.71 ) do you have a favorite lesbian movie? up until recently, it was imagine me & you. now it’s for sure a million happy nows. i’m still sobbing.72 ) from 1-10, how attractive are muscular women? 10/10.73 ) from 1-10, how attractive are women who wear glasses? depends on the girl and the glasses but 8-10/10.75 ) from 1-10, how attractive are curvy/plus-size women? 10/10. 76 ) from 1-10, how attractive are women with short hair? i tend toward being attracted to long hair but honestly there are so many stunners with short hair like 15/10.77 ) from 1-10, how attractive are masculine butch women? 10/10. although i usually go for a little femininity. that futch aesthetic is my greatest weakness.78 ) from 1-10, how attractive are highly intelligent women? 10/10.79 ) from 1-10, how attractive are tall women ( i.e. around 6 feet or taller )? wow. lemme climb you. i mean what80 ) have you ever been on your period the same time as a girlfriend? yes? 81 ) has a girl ever dumped you for a guy? no, i don’t think so.82 ) do you carry a purse? i try to avoid it.83 ) do you have any lgbt relatives? my mom’s uncle was gay and had a successful drag show in vancouver, but i was never allowed to meet him before he died. otherwise, nope. just me.85 ) would you ever date a trans girl? i mean, probably.86 ) how well do you think lgbt women are portrayed in television? lol that’s a joke, right? i’ve seen some good reps but usually we’re side characters or killed off and there isn’t a whole lot of diversity, so tv really needs to up its game as a whole.87 ) have you ever had a crush on a woman who’s much older than you? listen... i’m the queen of falling for older women. i once dated a woman who was almost twice my age. although tbh it was a bit of a mistake for other reasons.88 ) do you have any celebrity crushes? do i??? someone find me lauren cohan so i can propose immediately.89 ) do you have any opinions on lgbt people in the military? yeah, my opinion is fuck off with your homophobia and transphobia. someone’s risking their life to keep your company safe, you can shut the fuck up about what’s between their legs or who they choose to spend their lives with.90 ) do you believe in love at first sight? nah. i believe in attraction / crushes / lust and being really drawn to someone, but you can’t know you love someone until you actually know them as a person. otherwise you’re just projecting your ideas of what you want them to be.91 ) would you ever have a threesome? if so, would a guy be included? i’m too jealous for a threesome. i’d just be crying the whole time lmao. and a guy would never, ever be included even if i did somehow change my mind.92 ) where do you think is the best place to meet a potential lover? ideally? out in the wild, like, in class or at a bookstore or something. realistically, on an app like her.93 ) is there such a thing as “good” lesbian porn? i’m sure somewhere out there it exists, but i’ve yet to find it.95 ) how often do you wear a bra? whenever i go out or have company over. if i’m just lounging at home, i don’t tend to bother.96 ) have you ever been part of a softball team? nope. like i said, 0% athletic.97 ) if you could live your life all over again, would you still be attracted to other women? well, it wasn’t really a choice to begin with? but if it was, yes, i would.98 ) what stereotype about lgbt women do you disagree with the most? miss me with that predatory lesbian bullshit.99 ) what advice would you give a girl who is struggling to figure out her sexuality? give yourself time. don’t do anything you aren’t comfortable with. labels can be great, but don’t stress too hard if you don’t know what you are or don’t want to define yourself. just respect yourself and do what makes you happy. and fuck what other people think.100 ) what advice would you give a girl who is struggling to come out? be safe and don’t feel pressured to tell anyone you don’t want to tell. your safety and comfort is top priority.

#about me #wow that took a long time haha #thanks babe <333 #hey lesbihonest

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roadswewalk · 7 years

Text

Time to lay some ghosts

Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure.

- Elizabeth (Bennet) Darcy in Pride & Prejudice

[Disclaimer: Though far from my usual content, this is not an anti-Johnlock post, and it is not informed by TFP spoilers. It’s also not the new normal for my blog: we’ll be back to gifs and stupid jokes soon.]

I want to enjoy the possible last episode of my favorite show, and that means letting go of some expectations. This is largely a personal post that I’m writing to clarify my own thoughts and prepare mentally for TFP, but perhaps it may also help anyone who is dealing with shaken assumptions and unwanted or unexpected developments from T6T & TLD. If it does, then I’ll be glad. Anyone can feel free to reach out at any time with questions or just to talk about the show. I joined this fandom to engage with people, and I’m entering a strange interval where I have unusually minimal real-life obligations.

This post has two parts. Part one: notes on some specific theories that I’m finally rejecting post-TLD. Part two: thought process and personal attitude, for context. Skip part two if you don’t care - unless part one pisses you off, in which case I’d appreciate the chance to explain myself. That is, if anyone reads any of it at all. ;) All under the cut.

And yes, I realize many fans are well beyond this point mentally and emotionally:

Well, Watson, we can but possess our souls in patience and see what the hour may bring.

- Sherlock Holmes in The Adventure of the Three Garridebs

Conclusion: Bring it on, dads. You’re still pretty cool. Just don’t embarrass me unforgivably.

Or, if you’re indeed about to jump the shark, please do it at the climax of an epic jet-ski chase, replete with risk, loyalty, danger, hair dye, big coats, romance, gorgeous smiles, splashy effects, lame puns, excessive guns blazing, and impossible physics amazing. Well, you’ve promised the first few, anyway.

The ghosts I am laying to rest

Context: I am hiding from spoilers from the TFP screening (and apparently the Russian leak, WTF), so I don’t know as much as others right now, including what’s been confirmed or not. A bit of mood has filtered through from my activity feed (e.g no one’s laughing at Eurus jokes, or laughing much at all, or engaging with vague new theories). But I can’t draw specific conclusions from that, and otherwise I have no idea.

Knowing the nature of most of my followers, let me start by saying that I consider all of these theories to be logically separate from the basic possibility of canon Johnlock. I know some people feel differently, and have more elaborate theories that depend on certain characters being revealed in certain ways, etc. I won’t write “why Johnlock could still happen” for each item below. In general, it’s just this: it can be simpler than that, and still work. A hundred thousand fanfics have proven that. As a reminder, I am not a committed TJLC believer, though that’s not saying much, as I’m skeptical of everything - see part two for explanation.

I have flirted with these theories to varying degrees, but never actually invited them out for a foot chase or Chinese food. Most I’ve never even mentioned on here, primarily for lack of time, for coming too late to the fandom, or because I had nothing unique to add. So my comments in dismissing them are accordingly brief, and may come across as blunt. In all cases I’d be at least intrigued to be wrong - and knowing our writers, most likely pleasantly surprised as well.

Mary: She’s dead. This was part of the consequences we were promised for Sherlock and John’s insane lifestyle. And as awkward as the death scene was, John’s grief in the moment and throughout TLD was real. I’m letting her rest in peace. That includes leaving her murder case closed. It was shocking (in part for not being shocking enough), but was heralded adequately by the episode, the creators, and television history.

Mary as villain, Moriarty associate, etc.: Speaking of peace, there is by now plenty of textual evidence for Mary as a sympathetic character. The evidence for her villainy remains subtextual or subject to interpretation, and the challenges to her personality were always emotionally charged. As I’ve said elsewhere, the explanation given by the show for her shooting Sherlock is entirely acceptable within the show’s established boundaries. Even as a temporary romantic obstacle in a romance, she still wouldn’t qualify as a villain.

Anti-Johnlockary friendship: This is closely related to the above. Sherlock genuinely liked Mary, valued her judgment, and wanted John to be happy with her. This was clearly shown both textually and subtextually in TSoT and T6T. In T6T when he was anticipating his death, he may have even hoped that she would pick up where he left off, after. Her importance to John can’t be made clearer than in TLD. Meanwhile her advice to Sherlock in that episode is not really more ridiculous than what Sherlock did to himself the day after he met John Watson. The teasing between the three of them is pretty typical of mature, clever, close friends, in my experience.

Lazarus was false: The creators have said on a few occasions that they wished they had been as clever as the fans. Perhaps this is one case of it. But in the end, they wrote a television ending for a television show. Again, it’s acceptable within the show’s established boundaries. And after they dug up the characters’ feelings again but not the details of the act, I’m convinced the Lazarus explanation did indeed survive the fall (and the hiatuses).

Sherlock has been depressed and dabbling in drugs since TEH, and his increasingly elaborate mind palace sequences are the result: My own theory, though not something I’m desperately attached to. Now that I’ve definitely seen Sherlock deducing on drugs, it’s clear the writers were just having fun with their own trope, previously.

Continuity errors, set choices, and plot holes indicate T6T and TLD are not real: My immediate instinct with T6T was reliable narrator, at least to the extent that Sherlock is capable of it. Without adopting preconceptions based on other theories, that remains the most fitting explanation. The twists in this episode were not as deep as usual, perhaps because the show had an extra agenda of “consequences” to communicate. The housekeeping episodes are always a bit of a mess, anyway. As for TLD, we now have textual examples of how the creators handle drug-induced hallucination and memory distortion. We have the first serious misfortune contemplated by the show as well as massive character development in the span of these two episodes. Audiences would not accept their reversal, and the writers knew and intended this when writing. cf bullets below for opinions on the potential “mistakes”.

EMP or any other (TD12 etc.) massive retcon/rehash stretching into previous seasons: They wrote “it was all a dream” once, and even then, Sue and Benedict were hesitant to sign on, critics were unimpressed, and some casual fans were alienated. Even with 26 pages of dialogue between Mycroft and Sherlock in TFP, with flashbacks throughout, it wouldn’t be possible to go back and re-interpret major events from multiple seasons. The questions raised in T6T and TLD alone will be difficult to address in just one episode (because there’s still whatever new plot they devised, as well). In the end, there’s also the simplest question: why would you want this now? We have enough character development, enough beautiful moments, and enough mind-fuckery to be going on with.

Adlock as a central focus: This isn’t a popular theory, but it may be a common if unacknowledged fear. The way Irene’s re-introduction in TLD was handled - as leverage for a scene about John and Sherlock’s friendship - makes me confident that anything further to do with her would be sideplot, comic relief, or tension release at best. But (branching into pure speculation here) based on what the writers have said in the past, I think it most likely she’ll remain a mysterious yet absent symbol of the ambiguity that defines part of Sherlock’s appeal.

Mega flashbacks of Johnlock scenes: Honestly I’ve never really been on board with this. The fact that the creators have had to remount expensive scenes like the fall and the tarmac for subsequent seasons proves that they just don’t plan this far ahead when writing and shooting. In any case, logistically, there is simply not time to fit it in now.

Finally, the one that hurts the most. Johnlock as television history / groundbreaking representation: If they’re not doing Johnlock, they’re doing it wrong. But unfortunately, if they’re doing Johnlock, they’re also doing it wrong. All the metas about romantic character arcs, slow burn, and audience manipulation to combat heteronormativity were absolutely right. Series 4 was the time to draw this story together, or at least to build it to its climax. At this point, a S4 Johnlock resolution would have to be addressed so quickly (because there’s so much else to address already in TFP), it would blindside casual fans, not convince them that it’s what they were seeing all along. It would come across as one more rug pull, and would be derided with all the vitriol that this fandom has been intercepting in the meantime. We didn’t join this game only to be met with a moving or shrinking target. Could they still do it in series 5? Maybe. They introduced enough estrangement and other darkness that delaying relationship progression now makes actual emotional sense. But the show is at its peak influence right now, they’ve never been assured of a 5th series, and the writers have admitted that their plans for series 5 amount to little more than notes. Canon Johnlock is possible, but I think they’ve missed their chance to make history with it.

How I got here

None of you know me personally, and I almost never post this type of thing. So if anyone’s reading it, some background is called for. Let’s start with the impersonal bit, which you might have a chance of relating to.

As a television audience, we have to draw a line: where do we suspend disbelief? Some shows make this decision easy, but Sherlock makes it nearly impossible. We either draw the line generously, redraw it constantly, or commit to endless (fun?) mental anguish. In defense of generosity, and to avoid the disappointment and evasion of declaring it all “bad writing”, it’s important to keep these facts in mind:

The show is written by committee, pass-the-pen style, so inconsistencies in characterizations and plot logic are bound to occur, even with the head writers vetting everything.

The writers’ commitment to shocking rug pulls and the attendant necessity of obsessive secret-keeping mean that some writing choices exist in a critical vacuum, unexamined and un-analyzed except by the core creators. Market research is impossible here, and history illustrates the many potential pitfalls of this approach.

The show’s influence is outsize and its quality is tremendous in comparison to its relatively tiny budget and production team. We ARE watching low-budget network television, so expectations need to align.

The fandom vastly outnumbers the production crew, and vastly outspends it in both (re)creative and analytic effort, so we’re bound to catch more details than they do.

Some members of fandom also vastly exceed the creators in cleverness and creativity. I’m constantly astounded by the intelligence, imagination, and critical capacity of the fans, and between you and me, that is saying something. Our creators are clever and imaginative, but they’ve got nothing on some of you.

At the core of that production team is a nepotistic hive mind. It’s not nice, but it’s true. There is definitely a virtuous circle, a positive feedback loop, going on. Part of this is borne of the secret-keeping, part of the low budget, and part of the usual human tendencies to value our own, to seek comfort, and to submit to confirmation bias.

The writers and actors have admitted to not fully developing backstories before jumping into the scripts [BC] [AA]. I actually thought Benedict must have been lying in that NPR interview (or trying to wind Steven up) when I first read it, but later interviews have confirmed it. Our best fanfic writers take backstory more seriously than this, so we should expect OOC moments.

The writers don’t often use consultants, even where they obviously should and easily could. Plenty of unnecessary mistakes happen when you don’t ask for help.

Various breaks in the show’s own internal logic suggest that the writers also didn’t bother to map this out fully before they began. They firmly believe that Sherlock “exists in a slightly exaggerated version of our own universe“, so they make assumptions accordingly. Except, obviously there are huge differences between the Sherlock universe and the real world. They simply go unacknowledged, with little or no explanation offered to help fans make sense of them. We’re meant to let them pass unhindered over our suspension lines. Rowling’s or Tolkien’s meticulously-planned fantasy world this is not.

Our creators are nonetheless at the top of their crafts, producing an entertainment product that never fails to be unique, surprising, visually stunning, mentally engaging, and emotionally wrenching. The original reason we (most of us) are here is still this amazing show.

And now for the personal part. First, it’s my policy to let entertainment enhance my life, but never to ruin it. If that sounds flippant, know that it’s something of a self-preservation tactic: part of managing a tendency to depression. It’s also my policy to believe nothing without proof. I’m heavily influenced by scientific skepticism, and prefer “reliable and valid [conclusions] to ones that are comforting or convenient”. That makes me an extreme outlier among humans, let along among conspirators, which is why I say that my non-belief in TJLC has little bearing on anything. Theory-wise, I don’t have a lot of chips on the table - most of mine are partly crack or lightly researched. I do have personal investment in queer representation in media. I even have a little bit of money on the table for this show. But not all my eggs are in this basket: I’ve always believed that it’s a larger battle than this one show can wage (again, self-preservation).

As for enhancing my life, I had a blast watching TLD. But I was strung out, panicked, and somewhat disengaged watching T6T. The quality of writing and nature of the episodes can partly account for it, but when I examine my own mind, I know that a huge part of that was expectations. I came to TLD after a week of overwhelming work obligations. I’d had to abstain from the fandom, had missed nearly all the theories and analysis, and brought mainly my own impressions of T6T with me. By contrast, I came to T6T fully steeped in fandom culture and theory (mostly TJLC), having spent a shocking fraction of my December devouring meta, analyzing promo material, making a fanvid, rewatching multiple times, and even leaking a bit of content. My first impression was “difficult to engage with”, and I was constantly distracted with thoughts of the fandom - this despite the fact that I usually have no problem forgetting outside life while I’m consuming entertainment. It was depressing, and literally for my own sake, I can’t afford to get depressed.

The simple explanation is that my expectations were too high and too specific. In a brief career in corporate America that included marketing work, I learned that the key to avoiding failure in almost any human interaction is managing expectations. Cynical, but true. It’s a valuable life lesson, though, and one that I guess I am lucky to have learned so early. I am now something of a career traveler, and the same truth holds: when I travel to a new place for the first time with sketchy plans and low expectations, I never fail to be amazed. High expectations frequently result in disappointment. I do know to apply this truth to entertainment consumption, as well, but I was a little swept away in the fervor pre-T6T. I’m trying not to make that mistake again.

The name of my blog is meant to represent how I engage with this show, and indeed with everything. Challenging my own perspective frequently and rigorously is important to my worldview and self-worth. Quotes to live by include “the un-examined life is not worth living”, “an echo chamber is a reassuring womb but no place to live”, and “the surest way to corrupt a youth is to teach him to hold in higher regard those who think alike than those who think differently” (paraphrased, you can Google ‘em). I pursue multiple interpretations (roads) simultaneously, compartmentalizing to avoid cognitive dissonance. The demons beneath are the perils of committing to any one path without justification: dangerous to theorize without data and all that.

Over the years, so few fan theories have been borne out by the show. That’s not any kind of shade on fandom. If anything, it proves how wondrous and limitless is human imagination. I’ve enjoyed reading theories so much, I wonder if there is anything to do with Sherlock, or indeed anything nerdy under the sun, that wouldn’t entertain me. (Yes, I used to read the dictionary as a child.) But Moftiss have shown time and again that their idea of a great television story is simpler, more traditional, and more worthy of an old white man than what the fandom tends to imagine. So I’m taking them at their word for most of the previous episodes, and resetting my expectations in hopes of at least being entertained, if not validated and delighted, by tomorrow’s episode.

(Actual conclusion is outside the cut, above.)

#sherlock #fandom #s4 #speculation #clueing for looks #tfp #bbc sherlock #omg

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