#anyway i love me1 so much

[natterghast]

just because, here’s the aesthetic board I made for this shepard i’m playing

#out of character ; #tbd ; #his name is micah and he starts as a renegade in me1 but develops into paragon (partly because i would never play renegade in me3) #he is ABSOLUTELY going to have a slow burn romance with tali #he's lucky. my last shepard (meva! why do i like M names so much...) loved MORDIN. WHO YOU CAN'T ROMANCE #AND IN FACT HIS REJECTION IS WRITTEN AS A JOKE AND I DIED OVER IT #anyway hi i am normal about mass effect. yeah. sure (lie)

[missalenkos]

Today, I was rewatching The Hunger Games and watching the love triangle between Peeta, Katniss and Gale got me thinking of the last lines of Mockingjay and one of the main reasons I love Shenko so much (yeah, there's a connection, I promise).

"On the night I feel that thing again, the hunger that overtook me on the beach, I know this would have happened anyway. That what I need to survive is not Gale's fire, kindled with rage and hatred. I have plenty of fire myself".

There are loads of differences between the situations and characters, I know that. I also know Shepards can be different personality-wise depending on the background we choose, if we tend more to paragon or renegade and so on. However, I still think they all share the fact that there's a huge responsibility on their shoulders and that they all will do whatever it takes to end the Reapers. Yeah, Paragon/Renegade Shepard will have different ways of going about that but, despite what our personal headcanons might be, the truth is that in-game, all Shepards end up working for Cerberus and destroying the Alpha Relay because that's what they think they NEED to do. We also talk a lot in fandom about how Shepard seems (maybe unknowingly) almost suicidal in the sense that they will throw themselves almost blindingly into anything because, again, that's what they NEED to do.

And, of course, it couldn't be any other way, because as Anderson says in the opening scene of ME1, that's the only kind of person that can protect the galaxy.

However, although they are special, the people surrounding them are almost as equally important and while, yes, it's great and necessary to have all kind of friends and companions, what they really need is a cornerstone, someone to hold the kite so they won't drift too far away, someone who can contain their fire so they won't end up burning. Being that cornerstone is not easy, because, sometimes it will mean saying "yes, let's freaking steal the Normandy" and "let's go on a crazy adventure", but sometimes it will also mean asking the hard questions, calling them on their bullshit or saying "lets stay home for dinner (because you need to get some actual rest)".

And that's Kaidan. No one could be that cornerstone better than him because he's thoughtful, caring, gentle, capable, straight forward but ready to own his mistakes, has himself already sorted out and has his own moral compass.

People like to hate him for this, but I'm 100% convinced that it's actually what Shepard needs in the long-run.

Actually, he's the only companion that was hand-picked by Anderson, and I'm sure he knew exactly what he was doing there by having him in the same crew as Shepard.

And, well, that's it. Just another reason to love our canadian biotic brought to you by Katniss Everdeen 🤷🏻‍♀️

#kaidan alenko #shenko

[otemporanerys]

Spectre Requisitions ‘23 - The Rec Post!!

It’s that time of year again! I took part in the Spectre Requisitions Rare Pair Exchange @spectre-requisitions-exchange (link to the collection here) and man. SO MUCH good shit.

I can’t reveal what I wrote (yet) but I have been reading through the collection and here’s a few incredible works that I really enjoyed! Remember to kudos and comment if you find anything you like 💖

(NB: I focused on fic, but honestly every bit of fanart I’ve seen for it is also incredible, please go check it out)

Gifts for Me

I was SO lucky this year - loyal friends will know that I’ve been suffering from a massive dose of Lawkarian brainrot, and I got not one, but TWO long-ass Garrus/Miranda fics!!!! honestly still can’t get over it, incredible

Between the Devil and the Deep, Garrus/Miranda, 20K, E

Set pre-ME2, Miranda recruits Archangel for a job, fucks him to keep him sweet.

This is just. Pure filth, and I love it. Aliases, power plays, both Garrus and Miranda being amoral little weirdos. What more can you ask for?

The Woman in White, Garrus/Miranda, 16.9K, E

Set pre-ME2, Miranda recruits Archangel for a job, doesn’t really do ANYTHING to keep him sweet (but they fuck anyway).

:chinhands: This is just. GORGEOUSLY written, and the begrudging way in which they start to like each other (but not too much) is incredible. Top-notch Garrus POV

Gen

loose ends, Maelon & Mordin, 9.9K, T

Set during and after ME3, canon-divergent AU. Maelon finds Mordin in the wreckage after Tuchanka and nurses him back to health.

I love their relationship in this - Mordin’s so aware of Maelon’s weaknesses (or what he perceives to be his weakness) but there’s still so much caring, despite the huge gulf between them. Also the easiest way to make me a teary mess is a Urdnot Mordin cameo 😭

The Stories We Tell, Joker & Tali, 3.1K, T

Set during ME1. Tali forces Joker to be her friend.

Really great dialogue for everyone - it’s very cute and fun until suddenly it’s not!!! which is rude!!! but still very good, A+++

Care and Maintenance, Kaidan & Tali, 2.2K, T

Set during ME1. Kaidan and Tali bond over dads, tech and Shepard’s reckless driving.

This one was just nice! And also who doesn’t love a bit of Shepard driving slander

F/F

swear, this one you’ll save, Nyreen/Solana, 1.5K, G

Pre-canon: five times Solana has a secret about Nyreen.

I’m only slightly obsessed with these two, and this fic was so perfect. Childhood friends to lovers is a god-tier trope, and it’s so deliciously bittersweet

Real, Beautiful, f!Shali, 0.7K, G

Post-ME3, A morning on Rannoch.

The post-war fluff we deserve, imo!

A Knife in Starlight, Morinth/f!Shepard, 1K, M

Set during ME2. Character study with a side of smut.

I think Morinth is incredibly interesting as a character, but the real standout of this fic is the Shepard - Ruthless, stone butch, wonderfully jagged.

M/M

Collide, m!Shakarian, 4.1K, M

Set during ME2. Friends-to-lovers and mutual pining.

I love m!Shakarian anyway, but mutual pining?? Sexually charged pining?? LOVE CONFESSIONS?? Good shit

M/F

Change of Command, Garrus/Miranda, 3.6K, M

Set during ME2. Epistolary fic, a series of comms transcripts between Garrus and Miranda.

Yes, someone else wanted Lawkarian!! The (verbal) sparring is so much fun, and the format is perfect.

Beauty Like a Raging Flame, f!Shaeed, 6.2K, E

Set during ME2. Shepard gets into a fight in Afterlife, and Zaeed has to go pick her up.

There’s a lot of Shaeed this year! But this one is my favourite. The Zaeed voice is great (appropriately crusty, not too soppy, just the way I like it) and it’s nice seeing him paired off with a Paragon Shep. Plus, Zaeed’s turned on by violence. Smutty perfection

only echoes in the melody now, Kasumi/Keiji’s Greybox, 3.4K, E

Post-ME3. Bittersweet porn with feelings.

God, this one really blew me away. The prose is incredible, and there’s so many little bits that really land how fucked up the greybox concept really is. The ending is great, too. Can’t recommend this enough.

Longing Makes a Thief, Kasumi/Rolan Quarn, 17.7K, E

Kasumi and Rolan run into each other during a job, and realise they’ve met before - sort of.

This was so much fun - bubbly like a glass of champagne. The banter’s great, the smut is great, it’s all so good. Run, don’t walk!

Poly

An Unfortunately Sexy Man, Addison/Kandros/Kesh/Tann, 6.6K, M

MEA. Addison, Kandros and Kesh all have one thing in common: a devastating, inexplicable crush on Director Tann.

I’m not really one for crack, but this is definitely an exception. Genuinely funny, and the Tann voice in particular is incredibly on-point.

#spectre requisitions #spectre requestions 2023 #fic rec #mass effect fan fiction #mass effect rare pairs

[dovahbeeotch]

Shakarian is canon (in my mind) and here’s why:

1) Shepard pretty much pisses her pants when she realizes Archangel is Garrus. Jen Hale hands down sounds the most excited in that scene than any others.

2) Their me1 dynamic is fuckin gold. Garrus has had feelings for shep since the sr1 but literally had no idea cuz he’s a moron. Mr “I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like you😍❤️” & Shep was just trying to teach him to not kill innocent ppl. You cant tell me Shepard (especially earthborn Shep who probably isn’t fond of cops) likes Garrus right away. But she’s just like *sigh* how do I get through to this fuckin guy

3) They make each other better. Like I said in #2, Shepard is Garrus’ moral compass. When she dies, Garrus goes absolutely batshit feral starting gang wars on Omega. She drags him out of that life and redirect his anger to something actually useful. In me3 when Shep is literally one stubbed toe away from spontaneous combustion, Garrus (who is now the level headed one) sends her to bed.

4) there’s just something so beautiful about shakarian… like first contact war wasn’t that long ago. But those two idiots couldn’t care less being the pansexual bastards they are. Their union is more than just a friends to lovers trope…

Anyways I love them and needed to get these thoughts out of my brain

#garrus vakarian #shakarian #commander shepard #garrus romance #garrus x femshep #femshep

[lily-orchard]

So I finally started playing the Mass Effect trilogy after you spoke so lovingly about it. I just adore the series (I would die for Garrus and Tali). But there’s something that’s been bothering me for a while. Does it ever feel like the devs overestimated how much fans would really like Liara? I was practically blindsided with how she claims she has feelings for Shepard the second time I’d initiated a conversation with her. But then you turn her down and she keeps coming back, and it always feels like she’s just there wanting to bone Shep, even to the point that you can cheat on or with her with little no consequence from her. Her romance feels more fetishy than the others, and even their friendship feels forced.

Maybe it’s because I don’t find Liara particularly interesting, especially compared to other characters, but was this something you ran up on when you played the trilogy? It’s weird to me that she’s such a fan favorite with how bland her character is but maybe I’m being too critical of it.

There's a reason Garrus and Tali were so popular that BioWare made them romanceable in the next game.

The fact that Garrus, Wrex and Tali weren't romanceable meant that their banters with Shepard had to be based on something other than romance. So they actually got to discuss things without it always coming back to "Hey why the sudden interest, wink wink nudge nudge say no more?"

As a result, by the time they are romanceable, there's an existing friendship to build upon. Tali gets really flustered when she accidentally admits her feelings, and in ME2 even admits she had a juvenile hero worship of Shepard after she saved her on the Citadel, but that turned into genuine affection as they became friends and fought together and Shepard showed her genuine care and concern that Quarians aren't accustomed to.

Garrus is really forthcoming with Shepard in a way that makes people go "Oh... oh no he's cute." Especially since Shepard and Garrus are constantly using the worst pick up lines they can think of on each other, it's fucking adorable.

It helps that Garrus and Tali are the only two Squadmates who are on the Normandy in every game.

Liara really suffers from "Debut Game Romance Syndrome." ME3 characters introduced and romanceable in ME3 also have this problem. Because dev time is limited and every character is expensive to put on screen, characters have to get through as much potential content as possible in very little time. Especially in ME1 where the framework for the entire game had to be built from the ground up.

Liara, Kaiden AND Ashley all suffer from this, they all come on to Shepard rather quickly (there are literally only 4 mandatory story missions in ME1, reminder) and by the time the Normandy is locked down, your love interest is talking to you like you've been together for a while. So the pacing is completely fucked because there's a ton of dialogue that the game has to account for the player possibly missing and carrying on anyway.

But where Liara suffers is from marketing. Her entire reason for being in the game was to advertise "lesbian sex with sexy blue alien lady." So she's always signalling immediately to Shepard that she's interested. The hilarious part is that this crosses wires with Liara's dialogue about the Protheans, so it always feels like Liara isn't so much interested in Shepard as she is the Prothean cipher in her head. Like if she could extract Shepard's brain and fuck that, she would.

Certainly recontexualizes the way she's all woozy and light headed every time she mind-melds with Shepard. You're welcome for that cursed imagery.

Liara isn't much of a character beyond that. She gives expository dialogue, tells you to go to Ilos, and talks about how 'fascinating' Shepard is. She represents the problems with the way the Asari are designed and written as a whole. And she doesn't come into her own as a character until Mass Effect 3. Even in Mass Effect 2 she has to change personalities to become harsher and more openly pragmatic.

But honestly I don't think she's oversold. She's barely in Mass Effect 2, and BioWare tends to put Garrus and Tali front and centre over Liara.

[sol-consort]

Who is a non romancable npc that you would've liked to romance in each game?

I want to fuck Admiral Hackett.

Man, it feels good getting it out there, you feel me? These things are good for you.

Anyway, so.

ME1

Wrex

didn't know much about korgans at the time and just thought they were the hottest thing alive. Especially that stare down Wrex and Shepard have when they first meet each other in the C-sec station and he's throwing his weight everywhere and not giving a single fuck about the cops trying to arrest him.

Are Korgans just not attracted to humans? He never makes a move on you. Ever. They're clearly into asari and we're not that far off.

In the first game, he was the only one to not respect Shepard from the start. It's kinda hot, yk? He was this mysterious edgy person with a jaded view on his race, and we were this hopeful human who wanted to encourage him to reunite the koragns. I wanted to have a slobby makeout session with him filled with teeth after his personal mission.

.

Nihlus

Listen to me. It was love at first sight. I still remember it so clearly when you talk to him in the prologue where he questions you about Eden Prime. The fact he was the one to recommend Shepard to the council as a spectre too is just the topping on the cake.

I think he was into us, as a human. Like everyone on the ship clearly was weary of him because of how fresh the first contact war was, and Shepard is the only friendly person to him besides Anderson.

My Ideal romance would've been us saving him from Saren then being a mentor and student kinda of ordeal? Like at a certian point we surpass him in power while sparring and he looks so proud of us and we lean in for the kiss and he doesn't pull away.

A Turian and a human romance would've been so scandalous on the first game bc of again, contact war. It would've been the perfect drama.

.

Doctor Chakwas.

You can't tell me that you didn't think about it! She is the only person taking care of everyone on this damn ship. We're in the middle of fuck off space clumsily stumbling our way into shootouts and coming out with bullets in godforsaken places!

She's the one that patches you up while scolding you for being so reckless. She can abandon protocols and formality as much as she likes because she's your doctor and has a right to! She can order a whole admiral around.

It doesn't help how she opens up to us about her fantasies in her youth of being this cute doctor and patching up wounded soldiers with stars in their eyes and living the romance dream. The game is begging you to make her dream a reality and give this older woman the true romantic experience she has been dreaming of!

.

Captain Anderson

Listen to me. Listen. No no come back. Come here!

I am an adult, you are an adult. We are adults. He is a very hot adult that I want to do unspeakable things to.

I'm just saying!!! I didn't know anything about him becoming Shepard's parental figure in ME2 and ME3.

So when I first met him in ME1 I was like oh. Are we about to...have a superior forbidden army romance situation? Am I your sugar baby? Golden trophy soldier? Why do you like me so much and treat me with so much favouritism? Are we doing it on the down low behind closed doors?

But no. They take him away from me like immediately afterwards and burst my bubble of fantasy. I forget about him for the rest of the game then I meet him at the end but it doesn't hit the same vibe it did at the start.

He just admires and respects Shepard. Nothing else :(

My romance and fantasy with him was very short lived and now he is more of a stand in parental figure.

.

ME2

The Illusive man

He is obsessed. Literally every interaction with him made me feel so giddy inside afterwards. It's like he gets off on just being near you and doesn't ask for nothing else. He is like a sugar daddy without the needed sugar.

And the "Cerberus allowance" credits money that you get after each missions just increasing in numbers didn't help. You report to him after every mission and he gives you more and more money. It almost makes you feel dirty in a good way.

Like based on his shadowbroker intel, he has the best escorts and strippers in the galaxy that he frequents. Yet it is you that he spends the most money on and you don't even have to put out or show a shoulder. It's not like a mercenary job either because one of his requirements is seeing you and talking to you, stalking you even.

Your meer existence gives him a rush and he keeps paying you for it, just to be allowed to witness you being you. I wish there was an evil romance option route where you go full human supremacy and agree with his evil plans to control the reapers and the last scene is like Shepard sitting on his lap in that room with the orange blue star.

I want that romance to be creepy and clearly self-serving. That both of them are using each other to get their own needs. There is no love involved, just obsession and hunger for power.

.

Legion

They wear a piece of your armour, they have a hole where their heart should be. They clearly look up to you so hopelessly with admiration.

And you're the first organic to treat them with kindness, show them warmth, help give them a name. You're everything they imagine love to be and more and they literally cannot process it. They can't comprehend the feelings they're feeling, they only know it's all consuming and they're short-circuiting around you.

It would've been a very fluffy and sweet romance where you really push the limit of the geth having a soul. To have a soul is to love, even if it's not romantic love.

But as a romance between you too, I feel like Legion having a scene where they pluck a small flower from the ground to present to you is everything. But then the flower gets crumbled in their iron grip and they look all dejected and sad.

You gently taking it and still thanking them for it, maybe putting the flower in the hole in their chest after giving it a small kiss. I have so many ideas, Legion deserves so much softness.

.

Aria

I don't think she'd allow a full romance, but we definitely would've had a complicated relationship. Both dominiating and ruling their own corners of the galaxy, yours just happened to be a moving ship.

It's like a ruthless queen and a faithful soldier. She could've made Shepard worse, you could've made her better. It's a very complicated love and hate relationship, a constant power play.

You send her Valentine's gifts that she claims to have thrown away, but you see her snacking on the box of chocolates that you got her the next time you visit. Threatening to cut someone's hand off because they asked for a piece.

She always tells you to go find someone cute to spend the night with but all of her strippers know better than to flirt with you. Aria warned all of them that you're off limit and no one even dares looks into your eyes.

Hell the fact she got a whole bartender to give you drinks for free after the last one tried to poison you? God that's hot.

But emphasis on complicated. Neither of you are willing to step down from your thrones and serve the other. She wants you on a leash like a dog at her side, you want to weild her like a dagger against your enemies throats.

Both of you were made for freedom and only deal with people who obey all of your orders. The two of you can never have a peaceful relationship because you're constantly at each other's throats but the attraction and tension is so thick in the air to deny.

.

ME3

Admiral Hackett

I don't have any excuse. I only started getting attracted to him during this game when we kept having constant communication with him.

He just...is very calm? Includes Shepard a lot and is very patient and wise. Steering you into the right direction and reminding you of the greater purpose you all serve.

But also he is down to earth in his own way, it feels intimate for him to call you just Shepard. Look at you with such eyes that have seen everything, it's like he is the single person that understands what you're going through in this, the single person to share your burden in all of this.

Because Anderson can't relate to Shepard in the way Shepard is supposed to be invincible steel, the way Shepard is supposed to be the unbreakable hero. But Hackett feels like he can relate to you in that way, like he too was in your shoes once and knows how lonely it must be.

How each relationship you have will always have a hallow emptiness inside because you can never be equal to someone. Each person you date will always see the commander Shepard before seeing you, the world will fall for your mask and not the one wearing it.

Except Admiral Hackett. It's like he can see behind the mask. He can see behind the titles and spectre status and the medals. He sees you as the little thing you are, so tired and exhausted from carrying the weight of the galaxy on your shoulders, you poor thing.

He's very caring in a way, no matter what wrongs you've done. He's very understanding too.

In ME2, he asks you for a favour and contacts you to help him. YOU! he asks YOU while you were a traitor working for Cerberus. god, the amount of trust he has in you.

Not to mention that he was actively stalling the alliance when it came to charging you for crimes for allying with Cerberus even before the whole favour DLC thing. In the Shadowbroker messages you can find him telling his subordinates "Negative" when they asked to finally bring you in.

It's also how commanding he is with just a single word? He does it twice. Once in the battle of Saren in ME1 when the alliance ships are beginning to retreat and he calmly refuses and tells them to move ahead.

And in ME2 where his subordinates write a long ass email on why you should be charged with treason but his literal only response is "negative."

His words carry such weight to them, fuck. It's so attractive the power and authority he casually throws around. Actually casually doing it unlike the illusive man who makes a point to show off to you. Hackett has nothing to prove and no one to impress.

The only person to view the commander Shepard as a fragile thing. The only person to understand what you're going through. The only person to realise what's truly at stakes here. How can I not want to be with him?

But with you he talks longer, he explains himself and line of thinking more. He doesn't treat you with the same strict attitude he gives to other soldiers. It's clear favouritism where he is gentler with you, softer like you're a fragile thing that might crack if someone even raised their voice at you.

Not to mention the whole "why pick me?" Dialogue option you get to ask him. On why he puts so much faith in you. Why he is always on your side.

And you get a straight answer for once. It's because you have this magical pull on people that gets them to work together, you were made to be a leader. It's easy to pay a merc to shoot a gun for you, but you cannot pay them for their loyality to follow you into hell twice. Yet you have that effect on people and he clearly sees your true skills that the others are blind to.

.

I have more, like James Vega, Samara, Mordin, Joker, EDI, Conrad verner, Saren, Sovereign, Kai Leng and Eve.

But I've written a lot, maybe for another time! Thanks for asking this, btw <3

#☆Anderson #☆Hackett #☆Aria #☆Wrex #☆Legion #☆Dr.Chakwas #☆Nihlus #☆the Illusive man

[onedismay]

Mass Effect Tag Game

Stole this thing from @messydiabolical. :)c Anyone is welcome to steal it from me as well!

-

I am a fan since: Forgot what year it was but I remember ME2 had already been out for a while before I bought ME1. But I caught up quickly and got to experience the release of the Arrival DLC in real time. :D

Favourite game of the series?: It's hard to pick between 1 and 2, but I'll say 2 because the concept of loyalty missions is MY JAM. Also ME2 is my favorite graphics-wise, it's got that high contrast I love so much. (hate the simplified skill trees though)

MShep or FShep?: Most of my Sheps are fSheps because the character creator for mSheps isn't versatile enough for me. :( Where's the long hair! Let me look impractical!

Earthborn, Colonist or Spacer?: I might slightly prefer Earthborn. I enjoy playing characters who've had a rough start in life and made some bad decisions, but grew up to become decent people anyway.

Biotics or Tech: Can't pick, I like variety!

Paragon or Renegade: peace for everybody in the galaxy :') But I reeeaally love the Renegade eyes so I do have some mean Sheps as well.

Favourite Class: I used to main the Infiltrator class but in my most recent run I really enjoyed the Adept. Hard to pick a favorite but I do know my favorite class is NOT the Sentinel, it always feels clunky to me somehow.

Favourite Companion: Tali or Javik. Kaidan and Thane are nearby too. Tali's character development feels very natural and wonderful to me on every playthrough and I always love to see it. Javik is a fave because he's haunted and completely alone and that combo always hooks me like, I MUST see to it that this sad man has at least one nice thing in his life.

Least favourite Companion: It's the writers' fault but Liara. It gets really old when the same companion treats you like her love interest in all 3 games no matter what. I haaaate forced hugs in roleplaying games, don't put me through that, it'll ruin the character for me.

My squad selection: In my most recent playthrough it was unsurprisingly Javik and Tali. But I also ran with Vega quite often in the early game and I kinda missed him in the end game, haha.

Favourite In-game romance: Kaidan, especially with mShep because I really enjoy a slow burn of several years. 🔥

Other pairings I like: I am motioning at my blog and presenting to you Tazzik and the Shadow Broker...... no i don't have anything else to offer at this time

Favourite NPC: I like all these shady-ass salarians like Anoleis and Jaroth and Maelon and Linron (yes) (no i'm not defending her, i just find mean characters interesting sometimes) and Chorban and probably others. Valern isn't all that shady but still a fave. Charn! And Balak, I always look forward to finding out how my Shepard reacts to him. Zaal'Koris vas Qwib-Qwib I always loved you and I knew you were the best admiral before ME3 ever happened

Favourite Antagonist: the Shadow Broker, I was so into the mystery in ME1 and man I was not disappointed when we got the reveal. I would have loved to learn more about his early life.

Favourite Mission: ME2's Suicide Mission because I lovvve how it's a culmination of all your previous actions. It felt really scary and chaotic on my first playthrough and like anything could happen. Now I know all the mechanics so nothing surprises me, but I still look forward to seeing every little detail play out.

Favourite Loyalty Mission: Tali. Also Mordin. And Samara, ugghhh I love Omega and I love playing bait uwu

Favourite DLC: Hmmm I love about half of LotSB very much but I might like Bring Down the Sky more as a whole? The mood is great, it's not super long, and nothing about it annoys me. :D I've only played the Leviathan DLC once so far so I'm not confident enough to call it a fave yet but I liked it a lot, too.

Control, Synthesis or Destroy: I just wanted an ending where we finally talk the Reapers down and they go "yeah u right actually, let's not fight anymore. :( handshake?". All this star child borderline magic stuff is kinda goofy to me. I've picked Destroy almost every time tho.

Favourite Weapon: Recently enjoyed the Blood Pack Executioner... Historically I've probably used the Widow the most. Also I LOVE the way the Revenant looks but I can't stand using it myself lmao. My hand hurts just thinking about it.

Favourite Place: nnnoooo there's so many good places. I adore the Shadow Broker's ship, first of all. Such a cool concept. Noveria for the snow and miserable people. Feels like home. I loved visiting the Migrant Fleet! But my absolute favorite place is probably Omega because it's so rough yet there's still a weird sense of community.

A quote I like: The first that came to mind is "I have a home." Idk, I don't really remember quotes unless they're repeated over and over and by that point I start hating them.

#mass effect

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

400 Days is simultaneously brilliant and disappointing

I’m currently working on another essay about S2 that’s taking me longer than I expected... which I should have expected but y’know, I’m me. I have no idea when it’ll be finished, but I figured that in the meantime I could write about something that came up while working: 400 Days.

400 Days is the stand-alone DLC episode that was released July 2, 2013, and tells the stories of Vince, Bonnie, Wyatt, Russell, and Shel in the same Georgia area that S1 takes place. While the story doesn’t feature Lee or Clementine, it acts as a bridge between S1 and S2. 

I’ve talked about it in the past, even doing a T5F on the Top 5 Missed Opportunities in 400 Days. My past opinions can be summarized in an ask I answered for anon: “Wasted potential. I remember enjoying it when it first came out before s2 released, and the reason I enjoyed it was because I thought it’d be way more important for s2′s story than it ended up being. Bonnie was the only character that mattered while the others made brief, useless cameos if they chose to go with Tavia. Like… it could’ve been so good and it fell flat on its face.”

While not entirely inaccurate to how I feel now, I do believe I wasn’t giving 400 Days a proper chance. 

A major thing I’m noticing as I revisit many of my past posts from when TWDG consumed my life is that nitpicking and overanalyzing for the sake of pumping out content on this blog is the big contributor to why I experienced extreme burnout for the series to the point where I started actively disliking it at one point. While I did genuinely enjoy the creating the content, and obviously still do, there’s a lot I take issue with now.

Looking back on everything, I’m starting to see things differently and appreciate aspects that I previously despised. That level of nitpicking I did was mostly negative and infected a lot of my judgment when it came to games I loved. I knew certain points in the series were disappointing, therefore I should showcase everything wrong with them, and anything positive I have to say comes with a footnote of, “it’s good, but I think this would’ve made it better,” as if nothing was ever good enough. While I’m not ruling out discussions of “what could’ve been,” I want to appreciate what we were given.

Case in point: 400 Days. I adore it. 

I replayed this dlc not only because it somewhat ties into what my larger essay is about, but also I started playing the Mass Effect games and I’m having a mini-crisis about lowkey hating ME1 more and more as I play... dropping it to play 400 Days and write this sounded sooooo more appealing. 

Uh, there’s a freebie update on what I’ve been up to. I’m desperately trying to make ME1 work and then it made me drive the damn Mako and I’m upset about that.....

Anyway-

 400 Days is brilliant. 

I didn’t expect to have as much fun playing this as I did.

400 Days is a quick yet compelling experience right from the beginning, and if I’m completely honest, I haven’t had this much fun playing a TWDG episode for a long time. While I adore TFS, I have a lot more history with that game that changes the overall experience, but this? The whole thing was a blast! Sure, it’s not quite a masterpiece, but it’s way better than I remember. It deserves more credit than I initially gave it and I’m here to rectify that. 

Personally, I love mini-stories that all tie together in the end to create one big story. I'm always going to love the idea, and when it’s executed well, it’s brilliant. Because it’s a single episode that tells five mini-stories, it’s easier to pack in so much detail and make things coherent. While we don’t have as much time with our protagonists, we still get a clear picture of who they are and how they’re handling the apocalypse, how they ended up where they are now, and how they handle each dilemma thrown their way. 

These stories take place at different times of the outbreak, starting before the outbreak and going all the way to 400 days in where all the characters are together and discovered by Tavia. Three of the five stories center around this gas station/diner called Gil’s Pitstop, with the other two being in that area, but all five have elements that weave them together beautifully. A character may show up in one story alive, then show up in the next as a walker, and it’s all dependent on the order you play and the choices you make. 

Each story has a “moral dilemma,” usually a major choice you have to make that affects whether or not a character will agree to go with Tavia, the only exception to this being Bonnie. 

And honestly? All of them are great. They fit in so well with the world of TWD. I’d say that Shel’s story has not only one, but two of the best moral dilemmas, whereas Wyatt’s dilemma is the weakest given it’s decided by a game of rock, paper, scissors. 

I can’t get into the meat of why I think this DLC episode is great without going through each story, so-

Vince: Day 2

Chronologically, Vince’s story takes place first in the timeline, giving us a peak into his life before the outbreak where we see him in a dark room pointing a gun at someone who is pleading for their life. 

“Damn it, I told you! I already told you it wasn't me, man! Man, come on, I told you like...like twenty times... I don't even...I don't even KNOW your brother!”

Vince then shoots him and flees. You get to decide how he’ll try to ditch the gun, but no matter what, he’ll always get caught and we see him on the prison bus, convicted of murder. 

Right away, this tells us so much about Vince yet leaves us wanting more. What happened to Vince’s brother that made him murder a man? We never actually get to know, all Vince says about it is that "I helped my little brother,” which could mean a number of things. 

So Vince is the kind of man willing to take things that far for family, or those he loves, even if he ends up with a prison sentence. His moral compass is already twisting and turning in a different way compared to the others. 

Similar to Lee, he was convicted of murder before the apocalypse, but Vince seems to feel less remorse or guilt for it than Lee does. Lee killed a man in a fight after he caught him with his wife, a heat of the moment thing... but we don’t actually witness it happen. We get to see Vince shoot someone and later claim it was to help his brother out. I find this comparison interesting since this small chapter never tries to set up a, “This is the beginning of Vince’s redemption arc,” like it does for Lee. It more so leans into the fact that yeah, Vince and the other prisoners are here for a reason and right now, redemption isn’t on the table. 

Lee feels bad for what he did and who it hurt. Vince feels bad that he got caught but doesn’t feel bad about helping his brother. The only thing bringing them together is that pre-apocalypse, they accepted that this was their life now only to have a curve ball thrown at them and they find themselves free again. 

Well, first they have to gain their freedom by getting outta those cuffs, I suppose. 

The set up for this story is that Vince is on a prison bus that’s stuck in traffic. You can actually see Gil’s Pitstop through the windows, too. It’s hot as hell outside, and two other prisoners, Jerry and Marcus, up at the front keep arguing while Vince is stuck between Justin and Danny.

Justin is here after years of stealing money from people with “a really good pyramid scheme,” then lied about it on the stand, and Danny is a convicted rapist. The three of them have good chemistry with their banter, it’s enjoyable to watch. You learn more of why they’re here and how they view their guilt, and have the opportunity to tell them the truth about Vince or lie. In doing so will affect how they view you, either you boast about killing a man and become Tough Guy Vince, or lie and say you didn’t do it only to be labeled a coward.

It’s a pretty good time considering the circumstances, but that’s due to how well written and performed this banter is... until Jerry and Marcus become hostile, and one of them chokes the other out. 

But don’t worry, Officer Dipshit [his name is Clyde] is here to help! He starts by yelling at them to stop and then just shooting Marcus in the head before panicking and threatening Vince, Danny, and Justin with the shotgun. 

Honestly, I think Justin says it best: “THIS is what happens when you give guns to ASSHOLES.”

It’s super intense, and you know what’s going to happen the moment this incompetent cop refuses to get in between the fight and break it up properly, choosing to instead point his shotgun at them and yell. But Officer Dipshit gets his comeuppance when Jerry, who was choked to death, becomes a walker and attacks him. Then all hell breaks loose as the other officer [Bennett] flees, leaving you and the other two chained together with a walker that wants to eat your face. 

Vince manages to get Officer Dipshit’s gun and shoot the walker, but the noise only brings more of them onto the bus where they begin trying to get through the gate. 

Now the moral dilemma- Vince has the shotgun. The only way you can escape is to shoot off one of the cuffs, but in doing so will shoot off someone’s foot and they’ll need to be left behind. Whose cuff do you shoot? Danny or Justin’s?

By the way, I love that this whole scene was set up with Danny yanking on the chains that bind you all together as foreshadowing for the solution to this new problem, it’s great.

But here’s the thing about this dilemma... the end percentages still baffle me after all this time. According to The Definitive Edition, 70% of players shot Justin, and 30% of players shot Danny, and I just have to ask why that is?

Because to me, shooting Danny feels like the obvious choice and is what I did. 

Justin is more about keeping his head down. He’s willing to lie if it benefits him. He says that he doesn’t feel bad for his victims, claiming that they knew what they were getting into and he still carried them for years. He’s pretty upfront with his guilt, he never denies it. Hell, he even shrugs and confesses that he lied on the stand, fake crying to try and get a lesser sentence. He’ll joke around, even if he’s mostly annoyed by Danny’s bullshit. Given that he was involved with a scheme that allowed him to make off with millions, he’s also incredibly intelligent. Plus, he’s voiced by the same guy who voiced Ben in s1. I wouldn’t say he’s annoying or anything, he just comes off as more self-serving. 

Danny, on the other hand, is the more charismatic of the two. He’s the one cracking the jokes and yanking on the chains, but he’s also the one who wants to help break up the fight between the other prisoners and stands up to the cop as he’s threatening all of you to shut up. This shows a lot of courage and willingness to intervene when he sees something wrong. He claims he’s innocent, insisting that he’s a morally good man and was falsely accused. Oh, and he misses his girlfriend. He’s a real bro, y’know? 

Here’s the thing: yeah, Danny’s a “bro,” but he’s also a convicted rapist.

Justin: I wasn't stealing from guys like that. Anyway, better than stealing his virginity.

Danny: Hey, how many times I gotta tell you?

Justin: Here we go.

Danny: Seriously! I was falsely accused!

Justin: How old was she? Fifteen?

Danny: Damn it, it ain't like that.

Justin: You're tellin' me there wasn't a star witness waiting around in your white van? I'm shocked.

Vince: You WERE convicted, Danny. Gotta admit that much.

Danny: Aw, come on, Vince. That don't mean I did it.

“It ain’t like that.” Then what’s it like, Danny?

Because when Justin tells him that he “probably ruined that poor girl’s life, you piece of shit,” all Danny has to say is, “Big talk from White Collar over there. How many lives you ruin, kid?” 

As if Danny’s logic is that Justin ruined more lives where he only ruined one, so Justin’s the worse criminal here so let’s shift to him... and I dunno about you, but that makes me feel real icky inside.

I have a feeling it’s because Danny is more of a “bro” and he actively stands up to Officer Dipshit that more people went with him. Or they just weren’t paying attention to what he was convicted of, or they believed him when he said he was falsely accused. Personally, I have a hard time believing him based on his dialogue when you point the gun at him multiple times during the final decision:

Danny: Come on, you know I'm a good guy, man!

Danny: Okay, I know I'm a fuck-up, but Jesus! 

Danny: Come on! I did some bad shit, but I'm a good guy, Vince...

And he says that last one AFTER Justin says, “You're gonna do me and not this rapist fuck?”

Also if you DO save him over Justin, he dies later off screen and Russell will make a comment about how it’s a good thing he did before Shel and Becca joined the group... if anyone can spot a creep/pervert, it’s Russell! 

Vince: Guys, look...if I learned one thing from Danny, it's that we have to stick together and protect ourselves!

Russell: What?! That guy was an asshole! You should be happy he got killed before Shel and Becca joined us.

Becca: Why?

Russell: Don't worry about it.

Justin is upfront that he’s a criminal and I believe him, I believe he’s a self-serving liar... but Danny doth protest too much, me thinks, y’know? Between the two, I'm gonna take my chances with Justin over Danny. I don’t care that Justin’s a liar and eventually ditches Vince, Vince doesn’t seem to heartbroken about it anyway. 

By the way, shooting Danny is the way to get Vince to go with Tavia so make note of that if you’re trying to get everyone to go with her and appear in S2. Actually, it’s interesting that Vince is less trusting of strangers if you go with Danny over Justin, as if he got burned by that choice in the end, hmm? 

Anyway, that was my spiel about Danny vs Justin, and I would be interested to know what y’all picked. I’ve read a lot of discussions about this choice and I know I’m not the only one who feels this way about the percentages. I’ve read a lot of responses to why people picked who they picked, all very interesting. 

Back on track, this is a solid chunk of the story. I enjoy the dilemma presented here. You’re chained to these two guys and if you don’t shoot one of their ankles off, then all three of you are going to die. What gets me about this is it’s not like the Doug vs Carley choice. Doug and Carley were both in trouble but you only had enough time to save one of them. You weren’t actively shooting them. 

Here? You have to pull the trigger more than once. You have to pick one, shoot their ankle off, and then leave them there in order to escape. It’s super fucked and going off the way Vince hesitates and looks back at the one you shot, I’d say it’s something that’s gonna sit with him for the rest of his life. 

The pacing of this episode is great, it’s intense, the escalation in hostility between the two other prisoners only for it to end in blood is well executed, and overall the set up is damn good. 

Wyatt: Day 41

Dude. Wyatt’s story. I love Wyatt’s story. Of all five stories, it’s the one that made me laugh the most. It’s absolutely hilarious despite taking place in a very tense and panicked situation. 

Wyatt in on the run with his companion, Eddie. They’re driving away after an encounter with group of guys that ended in Eddie shooting one of them, and now they’re being chased and shot at by someone in a truck. 

Eddie: God, this is so fucked!

Wyatt: Why the hell did you shoot that guy, man? What the hell WAS that?

Eddie: I didn't mean to do it! It just happened, okay? Where the fuck were you with a warning?

Wyatt: Me? You're putting that on me now? I didn't see the guy, either! I was too worried those dudes were going to pull guns on us or--

Intense right off the bat, a complete panic as you’re trying to shoot at the truck chasing you while Wyatt and Eddie argue about what happened. Eventually the truck swerves off the road and you seem to be in the clear.

From what I gather, Wyatt and Eddie had a run in with Nate, the guy from Russell’s story, an unknown man who Eddie shot and killed in the encounter, and possibly some others given how Wyatt says he was worried about the “dudes” [plural] but he didn’t see the guy Eddie shot. Given that Nate’s alone in Russell’s story and the lone one chasing them down, it’s likely he’s the only survivor from that side. It’s unknown if Wyatt and Eddie were in a bigger group or not, so I’m going to assume it was just the two of them. 

Wyatt: Did you mean to pull the trigger?

Eddie: I don't know. I was so keyed up... I just... damn it. Look, Wyatt. All I know is those guys had me all... jacked up like I was on speed or something. I was just on edge, you know? Then I was, like, watching that guy's brains come out the back of his head. I'm sorry, man. I...

The core of why Wyatt’s story is possibly my favorite is the electric chemistry between him and Eddie. The dialogue, the voice acting, it’s all just dripping with personality and you feel like you’re watching two friends who’ve known each other for a long time, just *chef kiss*  

Eddie: See? It's fine. Road's straight as my dick.... You think we're in the clear?

Wyatt: Don’t talk about your dick.

Eddie: ...... Why not?

[or alternatively, if Wyatt says nothing, Eddie will just : “... Are you still thinking about my dick?” sksks it’s so stupid, I can’t help but love it.]

They talk like typical stoners, which they indeed are because Eddie’s got some “sticky” in the glovebox and wants it after they believe they’re in the clear. Y’know, the perfect time for some weed. Kate Garcia would greatly approve. 

So they’re driving along and we get more context for what happened, more great banter... and then they hit someone. 

The dilemma in this chapter is the fact that they hit someone and they don’t think it’s a walker, it’s a person. Even though they’re on the run from Nate and it’s foggy as hell outside, Eddie insists that they help whoever was hit. 

I believe Eddie is such a fan favorite not just because he’s funny or a charming character, but because of his compassion. In this moment you feel his frustration and guilt in having hit someone. He isn’t about to perform a hit and run even in this new apocalyptic world even though it would be easier to just assume it’s a walker and keep driving. 

Eddie: What if that was you, man?! After all the shit that's happened in the past couple months? Where's your compassion, motherfucker?

or

Eddie: If that guy back there is alive, we HAVE to help him, Wyatt. There ain't a lot of live dudes left these days.

Eddie showed a lot of shock and guilt over shooting a guy before, but now he’s sure he’s hit an innocent person and he refuses to leave them. His humanity does him credit and that’s why he’s one of my favorite characters in this DLC. 

But then comes the choice: One of you has to go find this person you hit, and one of you has to stay in the car. Who should do what? 

The end stats for this are 50/50, and it’s decided either by you refusing to go out yourself, or agreeing to a game of rock, paper, scissors. 

No, really, that’s how they decide who gets to go out there, best two outta three. That’s why I say this is one of the weaker portrayals of the dilemma, you don’t necessarily get to decide what Wyatt’s going to do, therefore shaping his personality and morals... it’s all up to luck. 

Though you can outright refuse, and Eddie will go out anyway so that’s one way to shape Wyatt if you’re playing him as less compassionate, or more cautious, or even as a coward. While there is an option for Wyatt to volunteer, you still have to rock, paper, scissors for it which I’m kinda meh on. Personally, I think if you’re brave enough to volunteer, you should be able to double down with Eddie and make the choice yourself rather than leaving it up to fate decided by a couple hand gestures. 

My advice to anyone playing this is try to lose the game. If Wyatt loses the game, he will go out there with a gun to find the person you hit, otherwise Eddie will go and Wyatt will be left in the car. Wyatt remaining in the car is the weaker option, far less exciting and results in you being attacked by Nate and forced to leave Eddie behind. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not bad by any means and getting to see that it’s Nate is neat when going into Russell’s story, but I think Wyatt being left behind is more impactful because it opens up a new dilemma.

I managed to lose the game by picking scissors every time. I find that Eddie tends to pick mostly rock, at least every time I’ve played before I’ve beaten him with paper, but rock beats scissors sooo pick scissors. 

Wyatt takes the gun and goes out into the fog to find the guy, who is revealed to be Bennett, the cop who fled the prison bus in Vince’s story. Wyatt tries talking to him, but Bennett is too injured and out of it to respond. Wyatt starts to help him, but because nothing is ever smooth sailing... walkers begin to groan and you realize that they’re coming through the fog. 

The reason I think this path’s better is because now you have a new choice to make: Do you try to help Bennett, or do you abandon him?

Wyatt wasn’t the one driving, and he’s out here due to a lost game of rock, paper, scissors... but is he willing to leave this man out here to be eaten to save himself, or is he going to try and do his best to help the man at the risk of getting them both killed. 

I chose to try and save Bennett, which meant I had to to drag him back to the car while stopping to shoot walkers... and the noise only brings more of them and uh oh, Eddie’s screaming for Wyatt to hurry up because he’s being attacked! If Eddie remains in the car, Nate attacks him and no matter how fast you go, Wyatt never makes it in time... Eddie drives off without Wyatt, who is now left in a misty forest with more walkers on the way, and Nate.

It’s rough, but more compelling, in my opinion. 

The highlight of this story is Wyatt and Eddie’s relationship, and there’s something about them getting separated that just stings, y’know? I found myself dreading getting out of the car not because of the dangers held within the fog, but because I knew Wyatt and Eddie would be separated after this only to never be reunited. 

Well, we assume they never reunite and that... the best way I can describe this is I feel like Sarah from Labyrinth, just throwing myself onto my bed and beating my fists against the wall and exclaiming, “IT’S NOT FAIR!!” at everyone... because it’s not fair that Wyatt and Eddie get separated and it makes me emotional, I’m not happy about it. 

But that also proves how effective Wyatt’s story is. Wyatt by himself also has the vibe of your sarcastic stoner friend who’s into indie bands and video games, but that’s part of his charm. 

Overall, a damn good story and execution. 

Russell: Day 184

I have a lot of feelings about Russell. 

As far as the playable protagonists go, I can say with confidence that he’s my favorite. I love them all, but Russell sticks out to me by how much younger he seems to be, his interesting backstory, and by his jaded behavior. 

His story starts with him walking down a long yet familiar road. He has his backpack and a map, and tells us he’s trying to get to his grandmother’s house. However, as he’s walking along, the truck from Wyatt’s story is coming up the road and Russell’s gotta decide if he should hide or stand his ground. 

If you hide, you’ll quickly remember why you know this road. Russell will hide down next to a corpse, but not just any corpse- the body of either Carley or Doug, depending on who you saved in S1. A neat inclusion, if not a little sad... and annoying because then I’m forced to remember Lilly shooting Carley outta spite and me leaving her ass on the road... wasn’t S1 so fun??

Anyway, Nate pulls up and talks to Russell no matter what, and you have no choice but to hitch a ride with him. You can try and refuse, and Nate’ll drive away... only for a dozen walkers to appear out of thin air and surround you so Nate will come back for you... I see you, Telltale, I see through your nonsense. 

The rest of Russell’s story has him and Nate... bonding? I don’t even want to call it that, but they talk as they drive, we get more insight into Russell’s last group that left him with some trauma.  

Russell: There was seven of us. I didn't have any family there or nothing; they were all at my Gram's down in Statesboro. There was a dad who had a daughter 'bout my age. One guy said he used to be a cop, but nobody really believed him; then a teacher and his wife. Leader was this guy, Steve.

Nate: Go back to the daughter.

Russell: Steve was a bad dude, but everybody was with him, you know? He said seven was the magic number, so we didn't add nobody to the group. If we found survivors, it was the same every time. He...he...

Nate: Let it out, Paco.

Russell: Just... "We gonna kill these folks and take their stuff or what?" And then bang, they'd be dead. Anyway... I couldn't handle that. After weeks of it, I packed my shit up and figured I can make for Gran's alone and try to find my family. I slipped outta there. I couldn't live like that.

Super interesting, and I wanted to learn more about this group but Nate ruins it by continuing to be a creep. 

By the way, Nate? Crusty. Stinky. He is repulsive and I hate him... but he’s also the best antagonist in this DLC, go figure. I’m pretty sure the writers had a lot of fun making him as slimy as possible. He’s dangerous and a huge creep, he makes my guts feel icky, I just-

Russell: Why you gotta be like that?

Nate: Like what?

Russell: Always talking about women like that.

Nate: WOMEN? Ha, okay. Let me see if I can answer your question. Because...because the hunger a man's got for a woman is all we got left now. No laws, no jobs, ain't nothin' that make us men. But they ain't eaten all the women yet.

Nate, you’re gross and I hate you.

Unfortunately, Russell is stuck with this man for the time being until the two end up at Gil’s Pitstop only to be shot at by someone inside. Together, they avoid being shot and break in to find an older man is responsible for shooting at them, and his wife is injured, bleeding out in the booth beside him. 

The man, Walt, yells at them to get out and accuses Nate of coming back to finish them off. Alarming, to say the least, but Nate casually denies the accusations that he’s been here before and calls Walt crazy.

Given this is Nate we’re talking about and he’s been in this area awhile, I’m inclined to believe that he was here at one point and could’ve attacked the couple, possibly with his group that Wyatt and Eddie encountered. 

But here’s where things get interesting, and where Russell’s story becomes more unique when it comes to the dilemma. You’ve got this older couple here, one of them injured, and the other shot at you. They’re accusing your crusty companion of coming back to finish them off, and said crusty man decides to manipulate you by echoing the story from earlier: 

Nate: What do you say, Russ? Should we just kill these folks and take all their stuff?

Super fucked up, and it has an immediate effect on Russell. Nate gives him the crazy eyes and casually points the gun at Russell... so what do you do? Do you comply, or do you stand up to Nate?

Unfortunately, no matter what you do, Nate will always kill the old couple. If you comply with Nate, whether by saying nothing out of shock or hesitantly agreeing, you witness the murders and Nate gloating about how all their stuff is there’s now. Then you get an eerie line from Nate as he looks back at Russell with a smile:

Nate: Relax. You're my boy, Russell. Things are going to be a-okay.

All while Russell stands there in absolute horror and shock, probably reliving the trauma he escaped from his previous group and realizing he’s now stuck in it again. 

This ending to the story is awful... not awful as in it’s written poorly. No, no, quite the opposite. It’s awful because of what it does to Russell. By complying, Russell is now stuck with this man who “kept you around,” according to the little choice notification in the corner. Who killed with no compassion, no guilt, and is gleefully admiring the “rewards” he got for doing it. Russell just stood there while two innocent people were murdered and he does nothing to stop it. He looks at Nate and sees Steve, a man he earlier described as a bad person, but everyone was with him, everyone complied. Russell couldn��t take it anymore and he had to leave, only to find himself at the mercy of another Steve and that’s tragic. 

Luckily, Russell manages to get away somehow given he’s with the rest of the group in the epilogue, though we never find out how. 

As for the alternative, Russell can stand up to Nate and call him out in one of my favorite moments:

Russell: Are you serious?

Nate: Maybe. Why not?

Russell: That's fucked up! There are real fucking monsters out there!

Nate: No shit.

Russell: And you're just going to joke about the shit I seen? Fuck you, Nate!

Nate: I saved your ass!

Russell: You didn't do shit.

Nate: Easy, Russ.

Russell: I ain't hurtin' no one. And don't you hurt these people either.

Nate: COME ON! Can we still be friends?

Russell: No.

Russell leaves Nate behind, and as he’s walking outside, he hears two gunshots from inside. At first, the player’s probably thinking how Russell should’ve done more to help the couple, but what could he do? Nate had the gun, and wrestling it from him would’ve gotten Russell killed. It’s fucked, but there was nothing he could do with Nate holding as much power as he did. Russell had no choice but to stand up to him in hopes of convincing him to leave the couple alone, and then leave. 

Unfortunately, Nate isn’t easily swayed. Russell’s lucky he got away when he did. 

Russell standing up to Nate, avoiding the road he’s desperately tried not to walk again, is compelling as hell. By walking away, he’s saying that no, that’s not who he will become. He won’t be Steve, he won’t be Nate, he won’t be a man who causes hurt and death in order to reap the “rewards.” 

In the end, Russell is more bitter, wary to trust and I don’t blame him. This moral dilemma is so powerful because it’s a choice between remaining strong, brave enough to look at what you could become and say, “no,” and giving in, becoming the thing you feared and ran from. 

Not to mention Russell’s story all started because he left to go find his grandmother, to reunite with his family. If Russell were to reunite with her, would he be proud of how he got there? Or would be feel like yet another monster who hurt others to get there? 

All in all, so damn good. 

Fuck Nate, though. Hope he choked. 

Bonnie: Day 220

Bonnie, everyone’s favorite.... CJ wrote sarcastically, knowing full well that a lot of people don’t actually like her. 

It’s a shame that S2 has tainted Bonnie’s character for a lot of people, but this post isn’t about S2 so I’m going to focus solely on what we see of her in this story. 

What we get is a woman struggling with addiction, clinging to a life preserver the best she can in a world where the dead walk but people are more dangerous, a preserver that can be ripped out of her hands depending on your choices. Bonnie is recovering from a drug problem when we meet her out in the rain with a man named, Leland, and the two are playing a cute little game of “would you rather.” 

She has a deep southern drawl, and easily teases Leland even without player input. 

Leland: You've been a lot more fun lately. Feelin' better?

Bonnie: I guess I am.

Leland: Well, you sure do look better. Though you gotta admit, anything is an improvement. That came out wrong... what I mean is... I mean... You were... you were, uh... you know.

Bonnie: Take a hike, big ears.

Leland: I resemble that remark.

Bonnie: You resemble a satellite.

Leland: Ya know, you weren't so damn sassy before. Guess that's a good sign. I mean it, though. After we found ya, you were still so hooked on that stuff. I never thought you'd make it. You ain't outta the woods yet, I know, but you've come a long way, Bonnie. I'm proud of you.

At first, you pick up on a little romantic tension between the two and think, “Oh, I see~” There’s some definite chemistry there. Leland even goes as far as to caress her cheek and say her name softly. 

Then Dee shows up, and you realize rather quickly that she’s Leland’s wife, and then you go, “Oh... I see.” 

Dee sees it, too, and calls the two of them out on their flirting. 

Dee: I got you a present.

Leland: Aw, you shouldn't have! What did you find?

Dee: I'll tell ya later. I don't mean to interrupt your "chat" with your "girlfriend", but we gotta get movin'.

So that’s not great.

But it appears that Dee found a bag and avoids saying where she got it. Leland keeps pushing on about the bag, and this causes a fight to break out with Dee getting more defensive until she tells then to run. Turns out, Dee stole the bag from a nearby group that is now hunting them down, so the three of them have to get out of there. 

Bonnie falls behind, and ends up shot. Leland calls out to her, but we see Dee holding him back before disappearing, leaving Bonnie on her own. This segment is super good, she falls down a hill and a zombified Clyde- you remember Clyde? Officer Dipshit? Yeah, he shows up as a walker here to attack Bonnie if you don’t kill him in Russell’s story. After killing the walker, Bonnie’s forced to navigate a corn maze while avoiding the flashlights of the group chasing her. It’s a well done scene, and the moment Bonnie makes it out is just heart breaking. 

She’s wounded, all alone, and she’s slipping all over in the mud, desperate to take cover behind a tractor. Plus her little, “Mama watch over me,” gets me, y’know? 

The dialogue that follows is raw. Eerie. Just-

Bonnie: Dee, oh, God, Dee... I'm so sorry, oh, God...

Dee: Wh... why? You... Why? Do... d-- do I look... How bad is it? Bonnie?

Bonnie: It was dark, it's so dark, I couldn't see you! I didn't know it was you! How was I supposed to know it was you?!

Dee: There was no... I thought I...saw you... You did this...? You... killed me. You killed me... I sh-- should never have... tr-- trusted you... just... just a junkie... Leland, she... she did this to me...

Bonnie: I... God, I'm so sorry, so... I can't... Oh, God, God...

Dee: I knew you'd fuck up again... take him...

Bonnie: I... I... no, God, I'm sorry. I need him; I need you both...

Dee: You... bitch... I knew you wanted him... didn't think you had the stones... Goddamn you...

-and then Dee dies. Dee repeatedly calling Bonnie a junkie and a fuck up is painful. Bonnie’s clearly in distress, apologizing and trying to comfort Dee as she’s dying, and all Dee can do is call her a fucking junkie while damning her, telling her they should’ve never trusted her. I cannot imagine the toll that takes on Bonnie going forward. 

Now the dilemma here isn’t that Bonnie killed her. You have no choice on whether or not to hit her with the piece of rebar. If you don’t, Dee will kill Bonnie and you get a nice ol’ YOU ARE DEAD. You have to hit Dee, Dee will always die, it’s more up to you how Bonnie reacts and handles it. 

The dilemma here is Leland finds them and is horrified that Dee is dead. He then asks Bonnie what happened. Do you tell him the truth or do you lie? 

This is rough, to say the least. Because it was an accident. You had no choice, you didn’t know it was Dee and now you have to decide if being honest is the best choice in this moment. Are you willing to take responsibility for something you did even if it hurts you, or hurts Leland? Or are you going to lie to the grieving husband of the woman you killed to save your own ass? 

And remember, that group is still chasing you down, it’s only a matter of time before they find you so whatever you do, you have to do it fast or else that group is going to kill you.

Fun fact, according to the stats, 75% of people lied to Leland, and 25% of people told him the truth. Which I find fascinating yet unsurprising that players wouldn’t tell the truth in order to cover their asses. 

To be fair, a new player might think that telling the truth could cause Leland to lash out and you’ll get hurt, and that takes priority over doing the “morally good thing” of being honest. Or they don’t want to admit they did a bad thing. Players never like doing that unless it was on purpose. 

Not only that, but if Leland knows that truth and you can convince him to leave with you, the fact that Bonnie killed her [accident or no] will always hang heavy in the air. If Leland doesn’t know the truth, then y’know- ignorance is bliss and Bonnie won’t have to face the repercussions from him... she’ll just have to deal with her guilt and trauma internally. 

You also have to remember that Bonnie is a recovering addict. Leland and Dee were her life preservers that kept her afloat this whole time. She just accidentally killed half of her support, and now she’s staring at the other half and has to judge if she’s willing to risk losing him, as well. If both Dee and Leland are gone, Bonnie is alone, and that could be far worse than anything else for her.

For me, this dilemma is fairly similar to Russell’s- who are you shaping Bonnie to be with this choice? Can Bonnie live with herself if she lies? 

If you lie, it’s easy to convince him to come along with you, but you can still do so if you tell the truth, which is what I did. It all depends on your approach and if you can convince him that it was a genuine accident on Bonnie’s part. Which it was so again, not hard. If you can’t convince him, he’ll stay by Dee’s side while Bonnie runs away and you’ll hear a gunshot. 

If Leland leaves with Bonnie, they don’t stay together since he’s not with the group in the epilogue. As far as I can tell, we never find out what happened to him, Bonnie never says. 

Bonnie’s story is solid, super enjoyable, I love it. Again, you might be noticing a pattern but every story so far has been excellent, not a single bad one in the bunch. 

And that doesn’t change with Shel’s story.

Shel: Days 236 & 259

Shel’s story is the final event on the timeline, and while I said that Wyatt’s story made me laugh the most and Russell’s my favorite protagonist, Shel’s story is my favorite overall. It’s not funny like Wyatt’s, and I wouldn’t even say Shel is as compelling as Russell, but it more than makes up for that with the story it tells. 

It’s funny to think back on this because had you asked me years ago about Shel’s story, I probably would’ve told you it’s my least favorite and that Shel and Becca weren’t great. Again, another example of me not giving them a proper chance.

This time around I was surprisingly invested in Shel as a character. She’s a lot more... how do I put this? Softer? She’s softer than the other playable protagonists in the way she acts, speaking, and views the situation. She has a little sister to look after in this world, a young, impressionable girl that Shel sees getting colder and colder with every terrible thing she sees. It’s understandable that Shel wants to protect Becca, or even shelter her from the reality of their situation. 

I liked Becca a lot, too. She wasn’t annoying like I remembered her being. Her behavior is understandable when you pay attention. She’s young, she doesn’t fully understand the weight of the things she may do, and she’s easily influenced, which becomes scary later on. 

Shel’s story takes place in Gil’s Pitstop where she and Becca are staying with a group of familiar faces. Yep, the cancer patients from S1 are back. Turns out Vernon was more of a bastard than we initially thought as we learn he planned to steal the boat from the moment we found it... and given that he’s no longer with the group, I’d say that didn’t work out for him in the end. 

Aside from them, we have Stephanie and Roman. These two are key to this story, both having ideas about how Becca should be raised, and Roman becomes a more antagonistic character in the end. 

This story is about Shel’s conflicted feelings about the world and what it’s doing to her and Becca. They have to keep inventory of guns and supplies and hey, remember how Dee stole that bag? Surprise, Shel’s group were the ones chasing you down when you were playing as Bonnie, and they make comments depending on if Leland stayed with Bonnie or was caught. 

Shel meets Roman outside where we see “guard dogs,” which are just walkers they’d tied up to keep people away. Depending on if you stayed with Nate or stood up to him, you may encounter Walt as a walker, or Bennett. They’re feeding the walkers when Roman makes a comment about how Becca wouldn’t mind doing this, and that Shel can’t keep sheltering her, something Shel struggles with. 

Shel also discovered the old woman walker is eating a puppy and the affect on her is instant, nearly bringing her to tears. Which is completely understandable. When I say that Shel is softer, it’s because of a moment like this where she sees something that’s sad and she doesn’t just shrug it off. She feels it deeply, and that’s further proven when she goes back inside only for Becca to scare her as a little prank. 

Shel lashes out at her, and I love their conversation once she’s calmed down. 

Shel: It's the walkers...I guess they got ahold of a puppy.

Becca: A puppy?

Shel: Yeah. I guess it just...it got to me, ya know. It was so little. You don't think about babies anymore, but... After a while, you just kind of accept...this is it.

Becca: Yeah. I guess you kinda forget.

Shel: Right? But then...you know...there it is. You see it and you want to protect it... And now it's gone.

Becca: That sucks.

I feel like this is obvious, but Shel seeing a dead puppy being eaten by walkers probably brought Becca to mind. While Becca isn’t a baby, she is still a kid, and we know how TWDG works. Children and teens aren’t safe from death in this series. In S1 we dealt with Duck’s tragic death, and we found the walker child in the attic. S1 is all about Lee doing everything in his power to not let that happen to Clementine, and it cost him his life. 

Becca could die just as easily as that puppy. All it takes is one moment, no matter how hard Shel tries to protect or shelter her, and she’s gone. 

Also, this whole “you don’t think about babies anymore” is clever, given what happens in S2 with Rebecca and AJ, I wonder if that was intentional or not. 

But the moment is interrupted when Stephanie barges in to bring us our first major moral dilemma.

A man was caught trying to steal supplies from the group. He’s beaten up, and Roman claims he was already like that, and all he did was tie him up and put a blindfold on. The man doesn’t speak English. He isn’t bit, and he didn’t hurt anyone. This is the second break in the group’s had. The group is arguing among themselves when Roman gives us the dilemma:

Roman: Look, we all know what we're talking about here, so let's stop dancing around it. We either let this guy go and take our chances...or we kill him.

This is... fucked? How else do you describe it? This man can’t defend himself since he doesn’t speak English, no one can understand him, he can’t stay with the group but letting him go is risky. What do you do?

There isn’t a right answer to this, even when you know both outcomes. 

On one hand, you let him go. You can’t just execute a man, that would be wrong, so you send him away and maybe he won’t come back. You’ll be in the clear and you’ll feel like you did the right thing.

Shel: He's not even armed! We can't just kill him! This isn't in self-defense.

Becca: Isn't it, though? If it means he can't come back to hurt us?

Shel: That isn't the same thing.

Joyce: But last time...

Shel: Joyce, that was a long time ago. If we kill this man, then we are giving up a part of ourselves that we can NEVER get back! I'm not ready to let that go.

But that doesn’t happen. The man does come back and he brings his group, we’re attacked, and Boyd dies in the fight. Roman becomes obsessed with securing the place by any means necessary. 

On the other hand, you kill him. You make the choice as a collective group to execute a man and you get to live with that. 

Shel: We can't take the risk. We kill him.

Stephanie: There's gotta be another way...

Shel: Tell me. What if he comes back? With weapons, or...or a gang? Is it worth losing any one of us?

Stephanie: Jesus. There really is no other choice, is there?

Roman: We can't keep him here and we can't let him go. If there's even a chance of him coming back or telling folks who might try to hurt us, we can't risk it. I won't ask you to watch, but if we do this, we're all in it together. If this ever happens again, it's gonna be one of you pulling that trigger.

And in doing so, the group’s morale plummets, and Roman still becomes obsessed with securing the place by any means. 

But you also have to consider what this will do to Becca. Shel just had to face a hard reality when she saw that dead puppy, and now she’s left as the swing vote that decides a man’s fate. That’s a lot for any person and there are so many factors at play here. 

No matter your choice, there’s a time skip and we see Shel and Becca in an RV playing Go Fish. Becca admits that she’s been sneaking out, something that’s horrifying to hear when you realize what Roman would do to her if he ever found that out, or if Becca was spotted and led someone back that wanted to hurt them. 

Speaking of Roman, he comes knocking on the door to ask Shel to come talk to him about something important. It’s not long before you learn what happened: Stephanie stole supplies and tried to escape. 

Roman: We caught her trying to escape.

Shel: Maybe she wasn't. Maybe she just wanted to get outside these walls for a while. Ever since the...incident, you've made this place feel...I dunno...oppressive.

Roman: We've made it safe. And she was definitely trying to escape; she had most of our ammo and medicine with her. She screwed us, Shel. All of us. And now were' in that position again where we can't keep her here and we can't let her go. You do know why I'm telling you this, right?

Roman’s telling Shel this because he wants her to shoot Stephanie, and she can’t say no. 

As if this wasn’t enough of a gut punch, Shel goes back to the RV and tells Becca what’s going on. 

Y’know that feeling you got when you heard AJ say he liked killing Lilly for the first time in TFS? I got a similar feeling when Becca said this:

Becca: Oh, my god. The hell did she do that for?!

Shel: Roman says we have to-

Becca: Kill her? Yeah! Why would she do this to us?!

Shel: She's just scared. She made a mistake.

Becca: Well, that'll be her last mistake!

Shel: Becca! Stephanie is your friend!

Becca: WAS my friend.

Shel’s fear that this world is changing Becca isn’t misplaced, and now she’s forced to face that reality head on once again. 

Also, I’m pretty sure this is the moment that causes people to dislike Becca or think she’s annoying, but again, given what she’s been through no matter what choice you made, her reaction makes sense. If you let him go, she saw her group attacked and Boyd killed, and that showed her that it was a mistake to let that guy go. If you killed him, then she watched her older sister decide the fate of a man and then watched him be executed. 

A lot of the TWDG fandom tend to intensely dislike child characters for the mere fact that they’re not Clementine, and ironically, they end up behaving in ways that make them more annoying than any child character they dislike. So I wouldn’t take their word for it when they say Becca’s a bad character. Play the story, pay attention, and make the judgement yourself. 

As for the second moral dilemma in this story, Shel can either take her gun and shoot Stephanie, or she can take the RV keys and drive away. Do you agree to kill Stephanie or run away? 

For me, this is an easier decision than the first one. I grabbed those keys and we got the hell outta there. 

But for this choice, Shel can either give in and allow this to be who they are now in order to protect Becca, or she can prove that there are other ways, that they don’t have to stay under Roman’s thumb and kill whoever he tells them to. There’s no saving Stephanie at this point, you have no choice in that, but you do have a choice in how Shel raises Becca from now on. 

Oh, and if you’re looking to get everyone to go with Tavia, you have to drive away. If you shoot Stephanie, then she and Becca will refuse to go with Tavia. 

Shel’s episode is my favorite, and the perfect way to end the main story if you’re playing in chronological order. She’s another great character who I didn’t expect to make me feel the way she did. 

Epilogue: Day 400

Once all five stories are finished, we’re introduced to Tavia. She’s a scout looking for survivors to bring back to her community. She talks with someone over the radio about finding all the photos and a note near Gil’s Pitstop that gives the group’s location.

Turns out that Vince, Wyatt, Russell, Bonnie, Shel and Becca all found each other and are surviving together in their campsite. Tavia approaches the group and it’s up to us to convince as many of them as we can to come with her. 

For Vince, you have to shoot Danny, and with Shel you have to escape. Bonnie will agree to go no matter what. Wyatt and Russell can be convinced to join regardless of your choices. The best option is to tell them that you find people from everywhere, and Wyatt will agree to go in hopes of finding Eddie while Russell wants to find his family. 

Most of the dialogue is determined by your choices, as well. 

Once you have your group, the DLC ends with the group burning the photos and note, before asking Tavia how she knows if this will work out. 

Honestly? Great ending, great execution of consequences brought on by your choices. 

The 400 Days DLC is fantastic. It’s brilliant. I love it to pieces, and I highly encourage anyone reading this to replay it. 

Don’t play S1 first, and don’t plan on jumping into S2. Play the DLC by itself, let it be a story contained to an hour of your time. That’s what I did, and I had so much fun! These characters and their stories are wonderful, the writing is phenomenal, I love it!

But... Now that I’ve spent all this time praising this DLC, calling it brilliant and encouraging everyone to revisit it... it all comes with an asterisk* attached:

*As a single experience, 400 Days is brilliant and I love it.... but when played together with S1 and S2.......

400 Days is disappointing.

That’s the glaring issue here. 

I can praise this DLC all I want, and I did. That doesn’t negate the big picture, or the big problem fans tend to have with it. 

400 Days acts as a bridge between the two seasons but let’s be real, the only story that actually matters here is Bonnie’s. She will always leave with Tavia no matter what, and she plays a major role in the group’s capture and eventual escape. The others make brief, meaningless cameos that only exist to make the player go-

-every time one of them shows up. We never hear from them, or about them, again after that.... so what was the point? 

What was the point of 400 Days in the grand scheme of things? 

400 Days becomes worse when you get your hopes up that it’s just a teaser, a little taste, of what’s to come in S2. You think these writers took the opportunity to introduce you to these important characters, tell you their backstories, so that they could be incorporated into S2′s plot as major characters. 

But no, only Bonnie. 

And even Bonnie’s character becomes muddled by ep5 depending on how you tried to help Luke. 

The thing is, 400 Days isn’t terrible because of this. Obviously. It’s disappointing, but why it’s disappointing and the way people claim it could’ve been fixed is... well...

It’s not simple. It’s so easy to just be like, “400 Days is bad because our choices didn’t matter! It’s pointless! Why didn’t they do something else?? I know exactly how this could be fixed!”

I know what everyone always says whenever 400 Days is brought up: “The 400 Days cast should’ve been the cabin group.”

Great idea in theory, or headcanon/AU.

In execution, it would’ve been too complicated and I think we all know that, but a fandom’s hubris knows no limit when it comes to them believing they know better than the developers. 

Not to say we can’t criticize issues with the writing, but it helps to at least be understanding of how things actually work, i.e. video games are hard to make and long posts on tumblr “fixing” video games are fun to read but wouldn’t actually work in practice because that’s not how video games work so maybe stop insulting the developers while acting like you know better about a field you don’t even work in. 

Trust me, I know. Don’t think I’m not one of those people, I’m literally here writing you a long post on tumblr. I’m not innocent here. Have you read any of my Violet posts? You don’t think there was a long period of time where I thought *I* knew better?? I wish I could say you’re right but you’re not, I’m just as bad. I’ve said some unkind things about certain developers that I look back on and just face palm as I slowly sink back in my chair shamefully. I still agree with my criticisms but not the way I said them, and I’m trying to not be like that anymore. 

All that to say it would be too complicated for the 400 Days cast to be the cabin group due to the different combinations of characters who can stay or go with Tavia. What happens to players who had only Bonnie go with Tavia? Or had all but one go? The only solution would be to have a set ending for 400 Days, removing the consequences of choice and having a more linear ending.

Y’know this would’ve gotten them the “my choices never actually matter >:[” criticism which I believe is a fair criticism of games that make these big claims about choice and consequence only to give you the illusion of it. But, there needs to be some common understanding of what can realistically be implemented in a game like that. You can’t expect them to have a thousand different outcomes and have it be a smooth, functioning game, especially when you take into account the release dates and the things going on behind the scenes at Telltale and how that affects development. These studios have deadlines, they have higher ups working them overtime so they can push as much product out as possible, they have a budget that’s never enough, and frankly, shit just happens sometimes.  

I’m not saying that we can’t be disappointed. I’m disappointed that I’ll never get to know if Wyatt and Eddie reunited, or what happened to Russell. I have no idea if Shel and Becca are still alive, and I don’t know where Vince is. I don’t even know what happened to Bonnie after S2. 

When thrown into the entire series, 400 Days is disappointing due to the high expectations it brings for S2, but I argue that it isn’t as terrible as people claim it is. 

I literally just spent several paragraphs explaining why it’s brilliant and why you should go replay it by itself, I think it’s far from terrible and deserves praise for its characters and the moral dilemmas it presents. Don’t think about S2 while you’re playing it, that’s not the point. The point is to experience it for what it is, a series of stories set in the zombie apocalypse that all lie together in the end. 

I would love to hear more thoughts about this, whether it be about the characters or what choices you made and why. Even if you disagree and think 400 Days is trash, tell me why, I’m interested to know. 

In conclusion: 400 Days good. In other news: Happy New Year

As I’m writing this, it’s New Year’s Eve and I’ve got a little over an hour before midnight, sooo here’s a happy new year to everyone. I hope you’re all doing well, staying safe and healthy the best you can. 

As I said at the start of this, I have another essay I’m working on related to S2.... it’s taking forever because there’s a lot to cover, it’s about some polarizing characters and choices, and I have no idea when I’ll be finished. If it takes even longer than I’d like, I’ll probably put it down and work on a smaller post in the meantime. Maybe something about the Michonne mini-series or a character analysis.

I guess my new thing is disappearing for weeks at a time only to pop in whenever there’s news about the Clementine comic or to throw down a long ass essay about something no one asked for hahaha. I can live with that, I think. I will be around for the rest of the weekend, though, so any asks about 400 Days will get answered, I’d love to hear from y’all. 

Uhhh any other news... Oh, @pi-creates​ and I are making a new Dragon Age server on discord that we’re gonna open up soon for anyone interested in that. Right now it’s mostly just discussions about the games and lamenting about the apostates who broke our hearts... well, Pi’s lamenting, I’m mostly just spewing bitter salt about the sewer rat bastard that is my apostate boyfriend >:[ We’ll post a link once it’s ready to go, though I dunno when that’ll be. We’re pretty proud of the set up, and I made a bunch of DA emojis. It’ll be a fun time. 

Think that’s everything. I wish y’all a happy, healthy new year! 

#twdg #twdg 400 days #twdg vince #twdg wyatt #twdg eddie #twdg russell #twdg bonnie #twdg shel #twdg becca #twdg clementine #twdg lee #long post

[lilmissnatcat24]

📓

m'love, thank you so much for this.

so basically it's a heist fic, post me1. (slight canon divergence because i know technically garrus and wrex weren't on the normandy when the collector ship attacked) but it flips back and forth between the moments before and during the collector attack and the past 2 weeks, where shepard and her crew have no memory.

they have no memory because!!! they were contacted by a woman named jack of diamonds (super cool and super eyepatch and super hot, in that order... also she's named jack of diamonds after my favorite campfire song from red dead 2 and this is like a little bit of a crossover inspiration fic) to steal this prothean device from a space station that could be used as a super weapon because it uses the same technology that sovereign used to turn humans into husks. this woman works for cerberus but shep is like?? ok with that?? (tbf she doesn't really know what cerberus is just yet so she's just like huh okay i guess i'll do it, also she has no reason to believe that cerberus would make a husk army becasue THAT lil chestnut doesnt happen for like 3 years) but the only way she'll let shep do it is if she and her crew implant a memory chip to their omnitools that will wipe their memory completely afterwards (this is the one thing i don't have worked out yet like maybe she has something on shep like she's blackmailing her for something??? yeah this is shaky tbd)

so shep and co have to steal this device. fullblown heist at some swanky party a la the capitol scene from catching fire. WREX IS HEISTING. GARRUS IS HEISTING. LIARA IS HEISTING. ashley and tali are like bffs (and maybe b plot they fuck? tbd) and of COURSE shakarian because how can i not. but sheppy is still a lil upset cuz kaidan is dead and she's had feelings for garrus but is afraid to do anything becasue she doesn't want to see another person she cares about killed but garrus is like huh i literally don't care if i live or die i want to tap that so desperately and also i love you. but of course he's a nerd so he can never just say that. cue hilarity and pining and fluff.

so they klep the device for jack of diamonds and drop it off and shes like hey thanks!!!! ily shep!!!!! except shep is super suspicious and is like hmmm this is weird. this jack lady is weird. we need to STEAL IT BACK because apparently she was going to target a colony with it and turn a bunch of innocent people into husks so that cerberus could study them (again this is a detail that has not been ironed out yet sorry if it sounds a lil sus just now)

and of course before this suicide run there's the steamiest and fluffiest sex scene known to man. you know what im like. they get into this big fight and shes like garry youre a COWARD you only tell me you have a thing for me when we know this memory chip is going to wipe our memories??? garrus tries to kiss shep and shes like NO PLEASE I CANT CARE ABOUT YOU and then exactly 2 seconds later shes like actually? lets fuck

so they steal the device back. they know their memories are going to be erased so they just kindve? dont care if they do something atrocious? because they wont remember? and i get so wet thinking about morally ambiguous shepard who is like super renegade (or at least paragade)??? anyways jack of diamonds is like hey you shouldnt trust cerberus this was their plan all along and shep is like literally i do not care bang bang bang ur dead xoxo

so yeah the plot is still a lil iffy. BUT I HAVE THE END ALL PLANNED OUT AND IM SUPER PROUD OF IT. that it's NOT some prothean device, it was tim doing his lil illusive thing. it was his plan to get shepard killed so that he could test out the tech used to revive her, and the device is actually a honing beacon for the collectors (because i literally never understood how the collectors found the normandy in the first place they had their stealth cores up and its never explained how theyre found and it's a plothole that PISSES ME OFF so this fic is literally made out of spite to explain it)

so yeah shep and co wake up after not knowing what happened, that lil love confession between shep and garrus doesnt happen, and shepard dies. so its sad? but not because then me2 happens and everyone is reunited and shakarian still happens yayayayya

so yeah typing it out like this also tells me i need to steam out the details a little bit more but i want to write this so badly and turn left is taking all of my energy so i think im going to try to double fist these two fics and see if i pop our sane.

anyways thank you!!!!!

#mass effect fanfiction #shakarian #shepard x garrus #ao3 fanfic

[sparatus]

Nyreen for the headcanon thingy :3

WIFE. hi i wrote most of this last night but then it was 2am and i went to bed and forgot i hadn't finished this yet

Sexuality Headcanon: lebsbiab

Gender Headcanon: generally speaking. without getting into aliens not subscribing to human ideas of gender anyway. effectively feminine nb

A ship I have with said character: nyreen/aria duh, obvi, plus @korblez put nyreen/vetra dabbling in front of me and goddamn count me in for that too

A BROTP I have with said character: nyreen & derius, nyreen & bray i think would get along well once the shit with aria settled down

A NOTP I have with said character: i've seen nyreen/garrus floating around, sometimes paired with the hc that she was that one scout from mandatory, and honestly. no. first of all that's a lesbian. if she was bisexual bioware would have her be all over mshep and reassuring the Male Gamers™️ she's still available to them, but she's not so she's a lesbian. second of all do you really think nyreen would take one look at garrus "living example of why people say acab" vakarian and not try to beat him to death with his own spleen. especially if you say it's me1 garrus but me3 garrus still would get claws on his face he's still kinda a lil bitch antithetical to everything nyreen stands for

A random headcanon: just go read if not winter actually i refuse to believe she dies at the end of omega, there's a thousand ways she could have done the same thing without sacrificing herself bioware are just cowards and killed off their lesbian for shock value. she contains the explosion without herself being in it, she lives, and she and aria have to work on rebuilding omega and sharing power and working out their issues against their wills

General Opinion over said character: she's my wife i love her so fucking much the fandom doesn't fucking deserve her, does kinda frustrate me that everyone thinks she's the first visually depicted female turian when that's actually abrudas tho nyreen's just the first one in the games proper. otherwise no notes i want her to pick me up like a lost cat

send me a character

#press conference #insomniac-spider-man

[dragonflight203]

Mass Effect 2 replay, Kasumi’s loyalty mission:

-Needed to recruit Mordin first so I could research upgrades, but Kasumi’s up next so I can get the locust.

Omega:

-If you go paragon when speaking to the Patriarch after Aria’s asked you to get him to safety, you hear the first mention of a krogan’s krantt.

Krantts are a fantastic addition to the world building for krogans. They add some much needed depth to how they relate to each other beyond killing.

-It’s a shame the Patriarch doesn’t come back in ME3. The quest positions him as potentially regaining some influence if you go paragon – he could have been leading a rebellion against the Cerberus forces in the Omega DLC or the like.

-Aria’s past is built up in ME2, but again nothing comes of this. Just vague hints that major shit went down.

-According to Gavorn if you go renegade, slavers regularly kidnap vorcha to sell. Lovely.

Bekenstein

-As many have noted, its ridiculous that a garden world so close to the Citadel was left unclaimed until humanity came along. The game doesn’t even try to justify it.

-General observation: Why are women in Mass Effect normally in dresses for casual wear?

The exceptions I can think of are outfits for Shepard and colonists. But on the Citadel or Omega, the casual wear for all women are dresses.

It stands out to me given that I’m far more accustomed to seeing women wear pants than dresses or skirts.

Also, I’d like an option to put femShep in a suit for formal wear.

-As many have have noted, it’s strange Kasumi didn’t dress up for the mission. Honestly, the real reason Hock didn’t let her is because she probably didn’t meet the dress code.

-It says something about Mass Effect that guests to a fancy party are permitted to keep pistols. It’s the norm for everyone to be armed.

Unless you’re a human refugee in the Omega slums, apparently.

-I do appreciate how ME1 and ME2 had several missions that did not involve combat. Or at least parts of missions. ME3 could have used more of those.

-There is transient dialogue at the party about how Shepard is dead.

Seriously, what was up with Jacob saying that the general public doesn’t know they’re dead? How did that line make it to production?

-The mercs are Eclipse, but the ones at the party are all human. Given that Eclipse is primarily Asari and Salarian, that’s notable.

-And nearly all the guests are human too.

-Does Hock have ties to Cerberus?

He’s shady, involved in several questionable activities, and signs point to human supremacist. It’d be natural for him to be connected to Cerberus.

-You’d think an alarm would go off when the power to the barrier for the vault is disabled.

Sure, Kasumi may have taken care of that too but there’s no indication to it.

-Why does Kasumi hack the first security door, but then leave me to hack the second?

She’s definitely laughing at my struggles.

-As others have noted, the krogan anime playing in the security room is interesting.

I really want to see in universe media of Mass Effect. Can you imagine Mass Effect anime? It’d be a trip.

-You don’t even need to pass a speech check to get Hock talking if you flirt with him. He just goes off.

-Why does Shepard need to speak to Hock, anyway? Couldn’t she just linger around him while he speaks to other guests? Study the fish or something.

-There’s a statue from Illos in the vault. It’s labeled a prothean statue. Given this is from Shepard’s point of view, it indicates Shepard at least believed that’s what protheans looked like.

-Why does Hock have so many statues of krogans? There’s four or five.

-Why is turian art unusual outside of Palaven?

Is it because no one else vibes with turian art? I don’t think so – Kasumi said it may be the most valuable piece in the collection.

So the implication is that turian art is rare.

That feels unlikely; it’s pretty typical for large governments to commission art pieces to show them off. If only to one up other governments.

I suppose turians could just not value art, but outside this line there’s no indication of that.

Give me more cultural world building, Bioware!

-Why is the locust on the same podium as the gray box? Why is the gray box even on display in the vault among a bunch of statues? Where are the rare books, etc.?

I’m grateful for the opportunity to see all these statues, but logically the gray box would be stored somewhere else. And not with a submachine gun.

-I am not enjoying my insanity playthrough of ME2. I just ran through all my ammo for the first time.

How are thermal clips superior to ME1 overheating again? Is there some reason I can’t keep a gun that uses overheating on me as backup in case I run out of thermal clips?

-Thank goodness that there’s a checkpoint in the fight with Hock’s gunship. Once Kasumi destroys the shield, if you die you reload at that point.

-I debated whether to have Kasumi destroy or keep the graybox. I’ve always let her keep it before.

I think it’s healthier for her to destroy it, but it’s not really my call to make.

Also, ME2 mechanics at play here. I need to make sure I have enough paragon points to resolve the Tali/Legion quarrel later. So let her keep the graybox it is.

Normandy

-Emily Wong assumed Shepard’s “death” was them going undercover. If I recall correctly, a few others believe the same.

Again: Everyone knows Shepard was dead. What was Jacob talking about?

-And the Blue Suns offered to take over the security for Mordin’s old clinic. Fortunately, Daniel told them no. Hopefully he lives long enough to make it stick.

-Early Mass Effect 2 is heavily weighted to tech. I already have two, plus the decreased cooldown time they unlock.

I don’t think you get any upgrades for biotics until after Horizon, if my memory is correct, unless you play the firewalker dlc.

As someone who always plays biotics, this is painful.

-Miranda has no new dialogue, oddly enough.

Jacob

-I do not understand why Jacob is with Cerberus. This is starting to feel like a toxic relationship.

Past experiences with Cerberus make him assume the worst of everyone. He’s wary of friendly overtures because they’re normally false. Not trusting other people is the norm.

Jacob, why are you here? Do you assume TIM will kill you if you leave and don’t trust Shepard enough to tell them that?

If so, kudos to you based on ME3 but I wish that had been discussed at some point.

Talking to this man feels like trying to gain the trust of a feral cat that’s accustomed to being kicked.

-He says that the Alliance doesn’t people handle their own problems and Cerberus is the same, but puts more effort into hiding that they’re spying on you.

I’ve lost track of how many times it’s come up that the Normandy is under surveillance. Does Jacob consider this subtle? What does he consider blatant?

-Once again, it feels like threading a needle to not trigger a romance with Jacob. And once again, he makes it very clear that he’s not interested.

Shepard has the opportunity to tell Jacob that since they’re interested, they’re going to assume Jacob’s down for it too.

The romance with Jacob is both incredibly icky and very hard to avoid. I don’t know what Bioware was thinking.

Mordan

-Just like Wrex, Mordin dismisses the concept of a krogan scientist.

It would have been hilarious if we had recruited Okeer and the two had to share a lab. We would have been down one teammate.

-Now Mordin opens up to you and tells you about reinforcing the genophage.

He claims it’s because he wants you to know that he’s willing to do what’s necessary, but it comes off as wanting reassurance that he did the right thing.

As much as he insists that it was necessary and not genocide, his guilt is obvious.

-Interestingly, going paragon nets you 6 paragon points. Going neutral earns you 4 paragon points.

Neutral doesn’t push back against the genophage. It just validates Mordin telling you about his work. Bioware could easily have had it provide no points, but gave you the opportunity to earn paragon points without opposing the genophage.

#mass effect #mass effect 2 #mass effect 2 replay

[theviridianbunny]

Top 5 video games!

AAH WASH HIIII!! thank you for the ask!!

ok these are in no particual order! not sure how coherently I can word but I will try my best!! this will be a long post- so you can find it under the cut!!! I have a lot to say about my fave viddy games (and i am not sorry~) but I am sorry for spelling errors- my brain can not keep up with my thoughts and i want to get everything down and everything goes to mush :////

METAL GEAR SOLID 2 (2001)

long before cp2077 was the main source of brainrot- metal gear solid was the main source. I picked up mgs as a series when I was at university in my second year and then would not stop talking about it to my friends (one of which played the games when they came out!!).

the art of yoji shinkawa (see his work below) becoming a source of inspo to my drawing / painting practice (it may not look like it at times -but- it's there- a lot of my old worl had very paintily lines- using a ink brush in procreate ect! maybe i will post some old art one day )

(...there was also a point where I was doing weird perfomance art where I just stuck a cardboard box on my head and called it a day- hrrng.,.. just a box?!) oh.. how i miss being a student <3

BUT ANYWAY!!! MGS2 is my fave in the series- this is due to the character design- the character design altered my brain chemisty in the best way-- the art design- colours/mood- the greens the blues- also the soundtrack- ugh it's so good. (i also had/still have the biggest crush on solid snake- husband time... also olga gurlukovich.. my dear wife ugh she she her)

OH MY GOD WAIT- WAIT- another thing about mgs 2 and it's character design- THEY GAVE OLGA BODY HAIR- yes, i know thats quite a random thing to say, but, I feel like for the time the game being released- it was progressive(?) like- in games even today- most women are like - super models ? idk how to word but- it was so empowering to see Olga like that- she is an icon and i feel empowered when i see her! <3

2. MASS EFFECT 3 (2012)

The mass effect trilogy is a series thats so close to my heart- I picked the games up during the tranistion period between covid lockdowns and coming out of lockdown.graduating from uni- finding a job- screaming to the void- yknow- adulting- no more being a art student-UGH !!

a friend of mine from uni gave me the og ps3 box set at christmas 2020 (because i only had a ps3 at the time)... for me to play over christmas between term one and term two of my final year of uni... gaming got me thru a lot of hard times then-... actually skipped me1 because it was clunky and made me want to cry- went straight to me2 (after reading all the lore of me1) and then went into me3 blind.. god i was not ready - cried my heart out so much

Mass effect 3 is my fave in the trilogy because of the characters! also like with mgs 2- the soudtrack! also also! being able to create shepard to look how I wanted her to look- YES VERY GOOD-VERY NICE! I loved playing the whole trilogy- but ME3 has a place in my heart for real. - the build up to it- the feeling of impending doom - trying to get all your squad to trust shep- the citadel dlc!!! aaAHHHHH LOVE <33

EDI is my best girl- my best girl indeed!!! I see a lot of myself in her. How she grows and evolves over time0 how she learns and understands her worth. She brings me a lot of endless joy.

I got to play the full trilogy when it came out as a remastered bundle. The trilogy got me through a rough few months- I had got me first "real job" and it was a hard few months- but coming home and playing mass effect brought me joy ! I do need to do a re run of the trilogy for the purposes of vp and gif making- I do miss my beloved Zachary Shepard! (some screenshots of her below! on the left- me1 vs me3!! she grows- evolves- cuts her hair and gets ready to kick reaper ass!!)

fun fact: I have two mass effect art books! one of the books being a book that was only released with a game guide which came out in 2007.. the other being a big chunky book with SOOOO MUCH STUFF IN IT EE... both of which i paid for with money from my first "real job" (which i only lasted three months in- but dhdhdd it's ok-)

3. DRAGON AGE INQUISITION (2014)

DAI was THE GAME that got me into gaming/ made me realise I was a gamer. I picked up the game around the same time I picked up the mass effect trilogy- maybe a bit later.. was playing on the ps3 (and it ran like it was running on a toaster or a pottato) it froze every 20 mins and none of the character models looked any good... but i loved it still- yes I couldn't play any of the dlc at the time but it did not matter- i was having the time of my life.

In 2021 I got a pc built so I could finish parts of my degree from home (bc covid and having to stay home for my health)... my pc was powerful enough to run DAI so... yknow- I got it on pc and MY GOD- I COULD RUN IT PROPERLY AND PLAY THE DLCS !!!!! the joy of running the desent for the first time, jaws of hakkon and then big boi trespasser UGH MY HEART EXPLODED !! oh my god- playing the decent for the first time and hearing david hayters voice- i YELLED SO LOUDLY- (it was like my beloved snake was back fejhdhjdhjd) playing that dlc for the first time also felt so right- so natural- my canon inquisitor, wren having connections to dwarven heritage through her father

DAI was my first adult fandom- im not actively a part of the fandom anymore- but I met some really lovely people through it (psst @virginiabackroads and @elfishtales i am looking at you <3 ) I recently got back into Dragon age by making an AU for my best girl, Viridian (... in this au she is called Viri lavellan.. or just viri!) (psst @fereldanwench im still foreveer greatful you pointed me in the right direction for modding the game!!)

4. FALLOUT 4 (2015)

now.. this is a game I have yet to finish- but- I am having SO much fun !! The post nucelar setting is interesting- i'm still trying to learn the game mechanics- but it's exciting and cosy (even if i do scream when a feral ghoul comes out of nowhere and bites me!)

100% loving nick valentine- ugh I wish he were romancable... he has so much charm, like an actor in the golden age of cinema <3 I don't have a lot more to say about fallout 4, but this game is bringing me a lot of joy!! looking forward to more adventures and more modding soon!

5. CYBERPUNK 2077 (2020)

y'all knew this was coming >:) cp2077 my beloved!!!!!! yes, the game may still be broken and glitchy and there are so many things the game could do better in areas- BUT STILL- the joy this game has given me- the friends i've made though posting about the game-- everyone is so lovely!!

the oc's ive created (...viridian and rasmus- i am looking at you both) Viridian brings me confidence- (...rammbled about that here).. THE BLORBOS I'VE GOTTEN (JACKIE WELLES MY BABEEEEEEEEEEEE) - !!

ugh buying cp2077 was one of the best things I did in 2022! also being brave and choosing to posting cp2077 vp on here last october/november was another best choice I did in 2022.

the words are going but- oh goodness this game and the world building- the soudtrack- the level of detail!!! cp2077 as a game changed my brain chemisty in ways- but in the good way. opening my eyes to the world of virtual photography- video game modding. it got me back into writing as well <3 Thank you all for all the love and support within the fandom space- I feel like im home <3

#bunny screams into the void #wanderingaldecaldo #metal gear solid #mgs #dragon age #dragon age inquisition #mass effect #fallout #cp2077 #cyberpunk 2077 #bunny writes stuff #asks

[anghraine]

My best friend and I have played a bunch of ME3! I don't usually do this much media all at once, so I'm a little drained from all the Effecting Mass, but it's pretty cool so far.

The opening scene was incredible! RIP, Vancouver :(

I definitely was on team "Anderson should be on the Council, fuck Udina" way back when, but it makes sense that Anderson would hate it and he seems way happier in the resistance despite everything. And Udina isn't as obnoxious any more. I'm glad Anderson (and Hackett!) is getting his chance to shine, though.

But now we have James as the successor to Ashley and Zaeed in the Most Obnoxious Squad Member sweepstakes, and he's really bad. My bff hates Kaidan "I'm getting mixed signals from you, Shepard" Alenko more, especially because the game tries to prop him up (a Spectre? him?) where James seems at least meant to be an OTT dudebro. But James is such a mixture of grossly inappropriate (the remark about how Shepard fills out her uniform???), and inexpressibly cringe Latino stereotypes (you know the fics where Cassian Andor drops random Spanish 101 words into his sentences and largely becomes a walking stereotype to remind us that his actor is Mexican? it's like that but 10x worse) that I can't stand him.

Ashley was still The Worst, though. It's a high bar to clear. Or maybe a low bar. Anyway.

I am genuinely thrilled we get to hang out so much with Wrex, who I really like, and generally deal with the krogan in general, whom I love. We're about to try [redacted]ing the [redacted] and I really hope it goes well. And Grunt came back in a particularly spectacular way (his fight with the indoctrinated??rachni was very cool and the piano backing was perfect if deceptive. *waves krogan fan club flag*

Also, I've been deeply invested in the Protheans since ME1 and was thrilled to get more Prothean Lore (poor Liara though). At one point, I'd been like ... hmm, interesting that they were called the Prothean empire if they were that benign, so the empire being a, well, empire was fascinating. Despite everything, I like Javik(sp?) a lot.

Liara is still our one true love, and it's nice to see her becoming more herself after her rough patch in ME2 despite the Javik-shaped disappointment. Also, her design looks way better here than in the other two IMO. Her freckles!!!

My problematic fave Miranda has only briefly crossed our paths, and I hope she and her sister will be okay.

All the interactions with Thane are bittersweet in a really good way, and I'm glad his son is visiting him as he dies.

Oh, and I almost forgot one of my favorite things: we periodically drop by the Citadel for missions, but mainly to get updates on the Blasto saga. The elcor are one of my favorite species, so it's a delight.

...right, there are also Reapers, I guess. I don't really care about them except as the vehicle for the story to exist, though hopefully a vehicle that doesn't, idk, destroy all life. There are some cool mechanics, like when we're desperately searching for fuel and trying to evade the Reapers, but mostly I'm into the effects of the Reapers' existence on more interesting species and individuals. We'll see how that turns out. I know some people were really mad about the ending, but I don't know what it was/is. Mostly I'm just enjoying the ride, though.

#anghraine babbles #long post #the adventures of space redacted #anghraine's gaming #i probably should have a bff tag

[commander-krios]

WIP Whenever

A sneak peek at a scene from my upcoming ME1 fic, Falling Like the Stars. Takes place after the final fight against Saren, the Geth, and Sovereign.

~~~~

“Did I mention how much I hate fancy parties?” Jeff muttered, trying his best to keep up with the help of his crutches while most of the team had already rushed off ahead. Tali and Kaidan were the only ones who’d stayed behind to walk with him. Neither of them complained about the much slower speed, and he was grateful for that, even if he would never admit it.

“Yes, there might've been a comment or two.” 

Jeff didn’t have to look to know that Kaidan was smiling. Bastard. “Why do you need me here, anyway? It’s not like anyone cares about the guy who helped blow up a Reaper. Not with Shepard as the star.”

He didn’t mean to sound so envious. Hell, Shepard did most of the work by kicking Saren’s ass and leading them. And she never downplayed the role of her crew, especially him and Pressly. But he would rather be stuck in the hotel than deal with politicians and the upper class of the Presidium. 

He was not cut out for that shit.

The Citadel Tower came into view a moment later, the massive structure still marked by the battle, but cleanup was very obviously being focused here first and it only made him hate everything more. 

Then he noticed her - Shepard - standing in front of one of the massive fountains. Or at least, it had been a fountain before it’d been crushed by a Reaper fragment during Sovereign's destruction. She turned a moment later, almost as if she sensed their approach. Maybe she did… she could probably feel Alenko at least. Something about being biotic, he never paid attention to the science behind it. 

Footsteps faltered as his gaze took in everything about Shepard… about Rori.

Her blonde hair was down, brushing her shoulders. Soft waves that he longed to touch, to brush his fingers through, to press his lips against. A turquoise dress clung to her body, knee length, revealing legs that could go on for days. At the sight of him, a smile curled her lips, brightening the blue of her eyes and making Jeff feel like the only man in the world.

Swallowing nervously, he tried to ignore the sudden increase in his heartbeat, all the while ignoring the lingering thought in the back of his head. How can I not love her?

#my writing #mass effect #fanfic #mass effect fanfiction #jeff joker moreau #kaidan alenko #aurora shepard #shoker

[jamesholden]

here's a uh a better peek at the initial fluff i'm writing for Sionainn and Kaidan. I'm doing a fluff and a smut all at once and I don't share much of the fluff because it's the one i'm most nervous about. Sion is my self-indulgent plus-size Shep, and i wanted to write them a little hang time in ME1 while working in some in-game dialogue. I was inspired by my ADHD tendencies to lose track of time and miss meals. probably going to be the first in a series of connected pieces from this run.

“I’m not questioning any decisions you’ve made, let me be clear about that,” he assured her, raising his hands. She relaxed. She looked to Kaidan for approval more than she wanted to admit, like she did all the people serving under her who had more years in the service. She wanted to know that she was doing right by them. That she was making them proud. Something about Kaidan though—be it his experience, his level head, his observations, what have you—made her seek it out more than she had from anyone else. Kaidan barreled on. “It’s just my experience that once someone lets something slide, it tends to pick up speed. You get my meaning?”

Maybe? “Talk to me, Alenko. You’ve got a little black rain cloud over your head.”

He snorted. Levity taken well. Good. Whatever he had to say couldn’t be more serious than what he’d said before. “I’ll try to keep the deck dry.” He searched her face, opening his mouth and closing it, pursing his lips and looking down at his hands again. She waited. When Kaidan met her eyes, he took a deep breath. “You do that often? Skip meals?”

His question wasn’t one she expected, for all the hesitation. Most people didn’t hesitate to comment on her eating habits. Or… well. They didn’t comment on her missing meals. Hesitation struck her too. She shifted in her seat. “Not on purpose. I just lose track of time when I focus on a project.” Normally she’d make a crack about loving food, but something Kaidan’s gaze kept the self-deprecation at bay. “Hours go by like minutes and I catch myself sneaking out of my bunk for a snack so I don’t go to bed hungry. You know?”

“Hm.” Kaidan nodded slowly, taking a peek down at her little pile of wrappers and uneaten fruit snacks. Far from the meal she’d missed, just enough to take the edge off. Definitely not enough to sustain a biotic like him in place of a full meal. She wondered what he saw in that. “Not good for you, you know. Not eating.”

The sentiment struck her right below the ribs. For years, all she’d heard was that maybe she should eat a little less. A suggestion that stung, given her plates were rarely much bigger than anyone else’s. It always went to show how little the people around her understood her body or even really cared about her health. That they knew every ounce of food she put in her body and that it should be less. But Kaidan… there was something about him worrying that she ate at all rather than what or how much that took her by surprise. And comforted her. Other than Chakwas, no one had treated her like that. Not since her nan. 

She wasn’t sure how to explain to him how much that meant to her. How much hearing echoes of her grandmother in this man made her feel safer in his company. Not yet. So she just smiled shyly at him. “Spoken like a true Sentinel.” Always looking out for the health of his team. Even if the team member he was looking out for was another field medic.

He smiled, fingers toying with the wrapper of his vanished protein bar. He didn’t call her out on the deflection. A relief. Talking about how she’d been treated over the years was never an easy conversation. “Spoken like a friend.”

Sionainn’s heart both fluttered and dropped. A friend? It was enough, but… was that it? She tries to push the upset down, focus on the warmth his concern and care brought her. “That what we are? Friends?”

“I know I’d like us to be.” The fluttering intensified, lifting her heart back out of her stomach.

“I’m still learning how to have those.”

“Me too.”

anyway i hope you like it! i'm hoping to finish this or the smut soon so we'll see

#shenko #kaidan alenko #sionainn shepard #shanfic

[sol-consort]

Greetings commander Shepard, how goes your assistance in the aid of Super Earth?

How are you doing? Has the month been pleasant?

I wasn't expecting the response about being called Commander Shepard, but I'm glad you enjoyed it.

How is your little pill friend doing? Have you crafted a little home for them on your desk?

Regarding your mother's birthday, I'm sorry the gift didn't have the desired effect. I hope the celebration was good and you all had a nice time.

I'm glad you are enjoying your time with your games and carving your own path into them. The image of a small figure entering a large terrain on a map and marking their own spot comes to mind.

Also congratulations on becoming more comfortable with refunding games on steam. One step at a time.

I wasn't exactly sure how to put this one together after the last one. Sorry for dropping these near or at the end of the month. Not really sure how frequently I should ask these without being a nuisance.

Your blogs have been fun to dive into. I may not know how much work goes into your blogs, but I do appreciate the effort. A lot of things you and your community were things I never really gave much thought about, but reading through them has made me think about what I missed through my playthroughs. So, Thank you very much for making fun stories and post.

Anyways, I should let you get back to work. Have a good day, afternoon or night, whenever this finds you. Stretch, hydrate, rest your eyes. Do what you can and hopefully things are going well.

I love you

Mass effect story was written by a lot of people as a cooperation effort and it wouldn't be complete if any of those writers were missing, so it makes sense that no one person alone can truly appreciate or notice everything in the game. That's why getting a new perspective from someone else and hearing their own side of the story is so refreshing! You get to see something you love through different eyes and notice all the things you might have glossed over.

Like Garrus, for example. I never paid him much attention to his dialogue or knew that we affected his paragon/renegade in ME1. He could've been replaced with a cardboard cutout, and I wouldn't have noticed. He completely flew under my radar because I was too busy picking up every microdetail I could on Ashley and Javik.

But when I finished all three games and dived into the fandom through fanart and video essays. I got slapped in the face by how interesting of a character Garrus is and the great storytelling he has. How he feels as much his own person as the main protagonist of the game does. You could make a spin off that's just telling Garrus's side of the story and it would sell like crazy. I'd be first one in line for the chance to play as the archangel sniper.

I still can't get over the line Liara made about him in the shadowbroker notes. How he has leader potential but will never truly shine while under Shepard's command.

OW MY HEART

It's like two gaint stars battling in a gravitational pull without realising, and everytime without fail Garrus will be the one crumbling to Shepard's mass. The longer he stays by our side no matter how well we treat him, he will always be reduced to a cluster of freshly broken rocks orbiting our sun. Rather than having his own planets to lead and protect through the galaxy if we just weren't in the picture.

We harm him by existing, by stealing his potential and making him feel so safe around us that he never grows or get stronger. He trust us so much he is willing to forgo what he could amount to if given the chance.

It's like a curse of love. A friendship can be a burden as much as it is a haven. He truly shines and finds himself when Shepard was dead, yet is eager to throw it away and join our ranks again, only asking for the chance to say goodbye through revenge.

-

On another note, my pill pet "disappeared under mysterious circumstances" :/

My niece newest patch notes fixed legs movement and added extra logic, so now it's a hazard to leave exposed, bare, and possibly expired medical pills laying around. Who's idea was it to make candy pill shaped?

So pilly had to be...taken care of. Rip big guy, you would've loved to slightly lower my pain levels in a mystery way that scientists still aren't aware of but was theorised to activate descending serotonergic inhibitory in nociceptive pathways.

-

I haven't been feeling like writing. A big flaw in my design is that 90% of my actions are steered by raw passion so the second writing loses its spark for me I threw in the towel and go indulge in another shiny hobby unit the cycle repeats.

It's funny how I worked so hard when the blog was a barren desert just to reach anyone at all and now that I have that audience who's willing to listen and read, my inspiration runs out and I don't wanna do it anymore.

I think it shows that at the end of the day, supportive comments and interactions can only go so far when you have lost interest. It merely delayed the inevitable out of guilt but that too is spares.

What I'm saying is, if you wanna do something, then do it even if it's bad or no one is reading it. I used to misspell Shepard's name as shepherd.

And if you don't wanna do something, then don't do it, even if you invested so much in it and are good at it.

-

I've been moding stardew valley and it's so much easier than modding mass effect. I still plan on a full moded ME1 playthrough but a single mod there is like 1GB and there are so many stepsss also that rule about mesh mods having to go last. If you add any other mod after them then it breaks and they don't work well.

I discovered that the hard way when during Kaidan's last romance scene, his face was 10 shades lighter than his body, and it looked like he was wearing a plastic cut-out mask of his own face. Apparently, one of my mesh mods for him was malfunctioning because I added a tiny small mod after it. Had to nuke the whole folder and redownload every mod, then re-add them.

The gay romance mods aren't compatible with a lot of mods, so I might do a maleshep run then. Gonna make the twinkest twink to ever twink, a boyfailure to match my girlboss shep.

All of that for his straight ass to date Ashley because I need that woman like air.

This whole plan is on the backburner, when I eventually do it I'll revisit this blog again. I still read the comments and check the notifications every other day.

There are also two whole fully written fics rotting in my drafts. I haven't finished Andromeda yet either, but god, it's sooooo boring. So much endless missions and pointless stuff, while the mass effect trilogy felt compact and put together. It's like mass effect is this delicious chocolate milkshake with layers, while Andromeda is a barrel filled with water and some apple. If you're lucky, a slice will sneak through the endless tastless water and choke you without warning.

I tried listening to music, video essays and even audiobooks while playing it and it's still boring. It gives me so many headaches even with the motion blurr disabled while with mass effect I couldn't bare leaving the game to go to sleep from how interesting it was.

I will finish it, begrudgingly.

Mods made it more fun at least.

Oh, and I did a smart thing! There was an outdated mod that wasn't compatible anymore, and the dev abandoned it. But I really really wanted it, so I went into the mod files, converted the png files to xnb, and replaced the og game files with them after making a backup. Changed their names to match, and IT WORKED.

Sure, it's obvious in hindsight, but I feel proud that I figured it out by myself immediately without looking online for a solution or anything. It felt clever. Especially when I haven't used replacer mods in 5 years. I did it fully not expecting it to work since I know Jack shit about coding. But when I was messing around and opening random xnb files I noticed the pictures inside them look like the png file mod ones and it hit me.

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I realised I haven't answered the questions at the top of your ask.

I'm not doing well. I'm rarely doing well mentally, and that's just a part of life. Mental illness doesn't go away. You just learn to live with it, tone it out sometimes, and embrace it other times like an annoying roommate.

I don't want to be a downer. The nightmares have been getting worse and I will power through them.

I appreciate you even asking. When the answer is always "I'm not doing well," people think I'm purposely being an asshole instead of truthful, so they stop asking. And yeah, of course I know how to lie and say "I'm good" when it's just a person asking out of politeness.

But you're not asking out of politeness, are you? You're genuinely asking me despite being a stranger. That warms my heart, I wish nothing but happiness and the best for you.

This is like a lovely letter exchange now that I think about it. It is different than texting yet intimate in its own way too.

I liked your description of the small figure entering a large terrain on a map. Imagining it paints a beautiful picture, a campfire embers amidst a thick dark forest, the soft glow of the first city on the surface of a new planet, a flickering LED flashlight of a rover attempting to navigate the rocky terrians of the moon.

They discovered a new super volcano on mars btw!! Unrelated but related. There might be glacier ice hidden underneath it! Nasa wants to investigate for traces of life because that's how all life began on earth.

I love space a lot. We sent songs of whale sounds to space alongside the disk of humanity. We thought whales were this lovely. And they are! They live insanely complex lives, their deaths are the sole food source of an entire ocean floor ecosystem!

Oh, and you're not a nuisance. There isn't even a room for doubt, I love your asks, and I enjoy answering them. I appreciate the time you gave me. That's like half an hour of tiktok scrolling. You've spared just to write this for me, I'm so thankful.

Send them whenever you want to send them and I'll answer them whenever I want to answer them. I know you're not obliged to, so I never expect them, I'm just immensely happy when I see them.

Make sure to take care of yourself. Do something that makes you happy because you deserve happiness and it shouldn't be earned.

Thanks for congratulating me on refunding a game on steam. It feels silly to say out loud. But paranoia is a bitch and I avoid customer service like the plague so it was a big step for me to refund them casually because I didn't like them. Thanks <3

Oh and my mom's birthday went fine, I got her flowers and she liked them. I wasn't satisfied with a basic gift, so I kept searching for a book I know wanted for a long time, and eventually, I found it after a month! It arrived yesterday, and she immediately started reading it.

#☆other