#anyways sorry that was a rant but I don’t really want to delete all that so there u go 😅
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YOU LIKE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA!!
what is your favourite song omgomg
OMG DONT MAKE ME CHOOOOOOOOOOSE
Obvi the title song slaps, All I Ask of You is so sweet, Think of Me makes me jealous of sopranos cuz I can’t sing all the high notes, Prima Donna is fun, Music of the Night uhh did things to me lol, Angel of Music is so soothing, and Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again made me tear up a bit.
I can’t narrow it down to just one, so imma say my top three are:
Music of the Night (especiallyyyyy the Ramin Karimloo version from the 25th anniversary)
Phantom of the Opera (nuff said)
and Point of No Return (the movie version)
It’s so good to see a fellow Phan!!!!! 🤩🤩🤩
#I was absolutely infatuated with The Phantom after I watched the movie (three times in a row)#I mean he checked all my boxes#aesthetic? check!#musical talent? check!#lives in a place with secret passageways? double check!#but then I had a dream where The Phantom was revealed to be my father and I think my brain was tryna tell me smth 💀💀💀#phantom of the opera#poto#man I was totally obsessed with this musical I even got to see it on Broadway before it closed!#I made an entire spreadsheet analysis on the different melodies and where they were used and what they meant#you know there’s one melody that always plays after the Phantom does or is mentioned to have done smth crazy or amazing#but then someone says or does smth that really just reminds the audience that the Phantom is not a demon or an Angel#he’s a human#I called the melody ‘true colors’ cuz idk what else to call it lol#it doesn’t have its own song it’s just used in spurts#its used after Erik gets after Christine for taking off his mask and Christine hands it back to him#(and we see him go from anger to vulnerability and then it plays)#and again in the preamble to All I Ask Of You when Christine goes#‘yet in his eyes / all the sadness of the world / those pleading eyes / that both threaten and adore’#(and we see Christine go from ‘he’s scary’ to ‘he’s wonderful’ to ‘oh u know what he’s sad and lonely’)#and more but I digress#anyways sorry that was a rant but I don’t really want to delete all that so there u go 😅#asks#Thanks for reaching out!! ❤️❤️❤️
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Not coming anymore
Jen’s text message comes in when I’ve already left the house, and I groan as I pull my phone out to see it on the screen.
Are you serious? I’ve already left the house, you have no idea wh-
I delete the message and phone her instead. She picks up after one ring.
“Jen, seriously?”
“I know, I’m sorry.”
“What the hell? My mom was going out again tonight and I had to sort a babysitter for Ivy. It took me an hour, and now I've already showered and changed my clothes. I'm on the way to the beach, are you seriously telling me I have to turn back and undo everything I've just done?”
A pause, “No, you can go. I just can’t.”
“Wh-” I fling my arm up and sigh. She can’t expect me to hang out with the emos without her. What if they get peckish and start eating me?
“Michelle isn’t allowed to go, so she doesn’t want me to go either.”
“Oh I see, so Michelle just asked at the last minute. And was shocked and appalled that she’s not allowed? How stupid is that, my god, she isn’t allowed to do anything. Why would she think her parents would let her do this without advanced permission seventy-two hours in advance?”
“Hey! Stop ranting at me! It’s not my fault! I told her I was going to go out anyway and she gave out to me and now we’re mad at each other, okay?”
“She’s miserable so she needs you to be miserable too?”
“Yeah, apparently.”
I scoff, “that makes no sense.”
“Yeah well a lot of things don’t make sense in Michelle’s world.”
I sigh and turn to face the sea. The sun has only begun to set and toss colour over the clouds. It’s a nice evening, the kind that makes you guilty about staying in, and so my annoyance at Jen morphs quickly into annoyance on her behalf. “Can’t you just come anyway?”
“No, I’m too upset now.”
“Jen…”
“You should go. I already told Evan you were going to meet him there, and you could probably use the fresh air and conversation… I can’t bear to think about you stuck in your room drawing your own fucking toes on an evening like this.”
“Okay, fine. I’ll still go.”
“Good, I’ll talk to you later, and you can tell me all about what happened.”
“I’ll come over, yeah?”
“If it’s not too late.”
“Bye, Jen.”
“Yep.”
Speaking of Evan, I spot him up ahead, dashing over the grassy bank towards the path with his dirty old school bag bobbing on his back. I call out to him but he doesn’t hear me, so stuffing my phone back into my pocket I begin an easy jog toward him.
“Evan,” I do a half jump onto his shoulders and he almost dies with fright, his knees practically going from under him, and twists around combatively to realise it’s only me.
“Fuck,” he wheezes, “Fuck sake!” He yanks his earbuds out, pulsing with the tinny beats of some pop punk song , “You fucking scared me!”
“I know, I’m sorry, I need to stop doing that, it’s just a habit.”
“Yeah, God.” He combs fingers through his floppy fringe and sets it in place in a gesture, habitual and a bit compulsive, that he repeats constantly.
I fall into step with him once he has gathered himself and I smirk, “Why are you so jumpy, Evan?”
“I dunno.”
“What do you think I’m going to do to you?”
“Nothing, I just… This is how I am. I don’t like it when people sneak up on me, it makes me nervous.”
“C’mon, it’s either that you’re afraid of getting beaten up or you’re afraid of getting caught doing something you shouldn’t, that’s what I think.”
“Wow, aren’t you full of theories?”
I laugh, “And related to all this, what’s in your locker, Evan? What are you always guarding it for?”
The corner of his mouth ticks up as he glances at me, “My locker? Do you really want to know?”
It's not like I care that much, because honestly, how exciting can it really be? It's the locker of a seventeen year old boy, so it probably contains a mouldy lunchbox and the crumpled remains of last month's chemistry assignment, but Evan seems pleased that I've asked him about it. I feign interest for his sake.
“Well, yeah, of course I do.”
He swings his bag off his back and fumbles through the front pocket. It’s got a huge ink stain on it and the zip has broken, so it’s just hanging wide open, “I’m showing you because I know you probably won’t tell anyone, you know, seeing as you don’t really have friends anymore.”
“Harsh,” I say, but not untrue. Even since the cowards from rugby took Fitzy’s side in our tussle over Alison’s nudes my lunchtime calendar has looked a lot emptier than it used to. Where there used to be banter at the picnic benches there is now... decidedly nothing at all, save, maybe, for a few unimpressed glances my way, an accidental or not-so-accidental shove against my shoulder in the hallway. Maybe my absorption in art is related to this somehow, but I haven’t been in the headspace to psychoanalyse myself that much lately. My mind is so full of values, tone, shape, and line quality that it has (blissfully) no room for other, less interesting things...
But, as it appears, this is interesting.
Evan pulls out a bag of pills, about twenty, all blue with little batman symbols on them, then digs his hand back in for another, this time filled with green buds.
I look at him and say simply, “You’re a drug dealer.”
“Yeah, man.”
“That makes sense.”
“Yeah, I've been at it a while now, I think I have a pretty good business going with it and all... So if you’re ever looking for something, you know…”
“You sell to Alison.”
“Uh huh,” He stuffs the baggies back into the front pocket after a rather over the top glance around him, like he thinks this empty street is suddenly going to burst to life with guards and sirens coming to hunt him down, throw him in handcuffs with a boot against the back of his neck and toss him in Mountjoy prison, like there are no criminals wanted more in Dublin city than Evan Henley and his fifty bag of weed. “She comes to me from time to time, not lately though.”
“Yeah,” I cough out a laugh, “I took your molly a few months ago. It was shit.”
He shrugs, “I get what I can get, not my fault.”
“Hm.”
“You could go to someone else, you know, but there actually isn't anyone else in our school, is there? I have a monopoly.”
“Fair.”
“You won’t like, tell Michelle or anything though, will you?”
I stare at him incredulously, “Michelle doesn’t know?”
“No, she hates all this stuff, like, she’s really strict about all drugs and shit and I just know she'll blow up at me and start shouting and roaring if she knew about it. I’d just rather not deal with it.”
I pause to consider this. It probably isn’t any real harm keeping this from her, is it? It’s not like she needs to know, and realistically if she did she would only freak out and and tell Jen, and then if Jen knew that someone close to her was in possession of any of this stuff she might-
“Yeah, no worries, I won’t tell her.”
He pats my shoulder in a gesture of camaraderie, so I guess we're real buddies now, “Ah, thanks Jude. Had a feeling I could trust you with this stuff.”
Beginning // Prev // Next
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THE ALASKAN DREAM CONSISTS OF HUGE FUCKING FISH ‼️ I don’t know if y’all in the Lower 48 also learn about fish in your schools, especially salmon (and yes in Alaska we do indeed say salmon like ‘samen’, salmon without the L cuz we’re always winning no we’re not), I had to learn atleast like two weeks worth of school of purely salmon and watching salmon documentaries and dissecting salmon cuz of how important they are to Alaska 😭 (I didn’t mind tho cuz I love learning about Alaska) (also, a really long rant below, I don’t expect y’all to read all or any of it— it’s not a sad or deep rant, just like a long letter of appreciation for you guys)
Btw I’m sorry I couldn’t do more this post :( my heads been a little preoccupied with some struggles so I couldn’t focus on drawing much else, also I just simply hit a creative stump is all as well, I have considered talking a little deep about me (or technically, my life a little bit) for y’all, I dunno why, maybe it’s simply the fact most people I’ve talked to within this fandom n such has simply just been so nice and relaxing (although, I’m aware I don’t interact that much or consistently) sometimes I really like deep conversation as well, or just spouting random facts and ideas I have, it’s nice, especially if there’s people that atleast somewhat get my rambles— but I suppose this is a thank you, to be honest, because I love that you guys like my work and sometimes even use them or build off of them, even if I think the idea I had was a bad idea (Punk Ny for example was an idea I was worried about not being a good one), most of the time I don’t edit them out because I think maybe one person out there might like it and want me to keep it there, like my girlfriend who encourages my ideas or helps me shape them, I never had this type of interaction and it makes me so giddy at times, so I really appreciate it :)
Also, I know I’m not obligated to draw so much with each post (maybe I’ll talk about how long my process is and what I do for most posts) but sometimes I feel like I owe you guys it because a lot of you are very respectful, and a lot of states do not have the amount of content that one who is passionate about would want, I mean, that’s why I joined this place and immediately started drawing Alaska like a mad man since there wasn’t much content about him (especially specifically about him), im passionate about my state, I yearn to know as much as I can and see how others think of it and us, I wanna do the same for other states but I worry that I don’t feel the same amount of passion for them as I do Alaska and I know that’s fine, but I still feel bad about it because I think I can do better for you guys, Indiana and Arizona and North Dakota for example I feel I can do more, even if you guys are content with what I came up with, but it’s very relieving to hear the expectations were not unreachable like I expected you guys to be about them, and I’m glad you guys aren’t critical about the fact I’m very inconsistent with Alaskas design because I’m not quite sure what I want for him and how much his design feels like him so I’m still trying always
anyways, have a good day or night yall <3 much of you guys are simply so so nice. Err, idk how I feel about this rant cuz I don’t wanna waste y’all’s times because I know you’re here for the states, so I might delete it depending on how I feel later about it
#wttt#welcome to the table#welcome to the statehouse#ben brainard#wttt fan art#wttt alaska#wttt fanart#wttt headcanons#wttsh#wttsh alaska#wttsh fanart#wttsh headcanons
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Uhm, hi. Hello?
First of all, I am sorry for worrying some of you guys so much. I truly can't express how grateful I am to everyone sending me messages, trying to get in touch with me, supporting me, etc... I read all of your messages, I will try to reply to them piece by piece. I am so sorry that I can't do that immediately, but currently I am not in the capacity for that. Please forgive me, and know that your words reached my heart, I seriously mean it.
How should I start? Recent months were... Rough. Damn rough. Mentally, I've been the lowest I've ever been in my life. Even lower than usual. Bottom-pit low. It's uncomfortable talking about it, but it was... hazardous, if you understand. Won't say more about it. Around christmas holidays, my depression started getting more extreme. Main catalysts were probably the feelings of abandonment, issues with myself, loneliness + social disappointments, family deaths that happened, experienced sicknesses, world events, etc. All this stuff kept piling up with time, bad things never seemed to end, day by day I felt more awful and wanted to disappear. I also deleted all social media from my phone, plus I changed my phone number. I just was sick of everything.
After a few months of feeling like shit, I thought I would get a little bit better. Nope. Covid had to strike 2 of my immediate family members, and me. Worsening my mental health again, plus physical health after thinking I maybe recovered a bit. This put a real blow to my mental health once more, after desperately attempting for years to not catch it. And it still got me, while being 99% only at home. FML.
That virus lasted 3 around weeks, it was horrid. Had all kinds of different symptoms in a limbo, when thinking it would get better, it got worse again. Coughed like a madman, and still do. Some symptoms don't seem to disappear yet, even after testing negative for weeks now. My asthma got worse aswell, breathing is way harder and I get dizzy real fast.
I still don't feel good mentally at this moment, but at least not as severe, and a bit better to allow myself to go online a bit and interact here a little. Baby steps, right? I can't promise I will be online now all the time, but it's been first for me now since a few months. I realize I have to adjust to this again. Feels nice, and a bit scary too if I'm being honest. Kinda unfamiliar to do social stuff again. I really missed being here, but not being online also felt good. It was what I needed, everything else would have overwhelmed me.
Not everything was completely negative though, during my abstinence, I got into some new interests while trying to stay sane and keep myself distracted & occupied (or you could say, reawakened some old hobbies): I've really gotten into fragrances, baking, collecting dolls, decorating with flowers, and drinking tea. Yes, me. Some might remember my rants about tea tasting like warm water. During covid, after losing my taste and smell senses, I learned to appreciate softer taste profiles. I'm consuming almost every day something that contains tea leaves. Call that growth.
Anyways, thank you for reading this. I don't know how to end this, and this text just doesn't need to be longer. I'm so happy for you having interest in me as a person, and not only as a CC creator and Sims player. Much love to you 🤍
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Cole from Ninjago x hyper/enthusiastic!male reader 🙏
Fluff.
They (Cole and Reader) are just walking around town to go to a small cafe the reader wanted to try, the reader being enthusiastic and describing all the little details he heard about the cafe while Cole is just there smiling fondly at the reader with slightly reddened cheeks because it looks like they are going on a date. When they get there and sit down, the same happens but this time people are saying how they're a cute couple which makes cole embarrassed but the reader doesn't notice it yet. Later, the reader does notice and ask what's wrong and if he was feeling well, to which Cole tells him that it looks like the two were on a date (which makes the reader flustered) and then it's just more fluff with rhe reader saying it could be a date and just Cole being out of character around the reader
Ugh this is such a cute idea! Sorry it took so long btw, my parents found my tumblr account and I had to delete the app off my phone but I managed to sneak it back on! Anyway here you are dear anon~
Date?
Cole Brookstone x male!reader
You an Cole had been the best of friends as kids, he trusted you enough to tell you he was running away.
After he got turned back from a ghost you two reconnected and now you were dragging the ninja by his hand, weaving through the people walking by, chattering about all the great things you had heard about the place as you did so
“Hey slow down!” He said almost tripping over his own feet. You looked behind you and paused your blabbering to roll your eyes. “Come on! We’re almost there I promise,” you said winking at him which made a blush plaster Cole’s cheeks.
After a few more minutes of walking and shoving your way past people you two had found the coffee place you spoke so highly about.
When you walked in a warm feeling washed over the two of you as the scent of freshly baked cookies and newly brewed coffee filled both of your noses.
You let go of Cole’s hand and stand next to him. You closed your eyes and took in a deep breath, savouring the aroma of this place.
Cole looked at you and he smiled, seeing your expression. Your eyes snapped open and you told him to come on already. He grinned and you both walked to the counter and placed your orders.
You managed to find a booth near the windows and you both sat facing each other.
You stared at him, patiently waiting for his reaction to the place. Your eyes seemed to sparkle in the late evening light and your smile was so wide it almost touched your ears.
Cole smiled, “This place is awesome Y/N, where’d ya find it?” Your face light up as you launched into a rant about how you found this place.
Cole stared at you fondly, he rested his face on his hand and closed his eyes. Listening to you ramble on on, it was the most relaxing thing in the world to him.
Soon, someone passed by you two, whispering to someone else “Aww look at those two!, what a cute couple,” “Lucky boy ain’t he?” The other said. These comments made Cole blush furiously. He didn’t even know who was the ‘lucky boy’ but he wanted it to be him. You didn’t seem to notice though.
A few more moments passed before you noticed Cole. “Cole, you alright?” You asked leaning over the table and pressing your hand to the master of earth’s forehead. “You look really red!” You continued.
Cole blushed even more and gently removed your hand from his forehead. “Yeah I’m fine Y/N, i-its just. I don’t mean to be mean or anything but, these two ladies just passed and saying that we looked we looked like a couple and then I realised ‘hey! It looks like we’re on a date without proper context!’,” he explained sheepishly.
Your eyes widened and your mouth formed and ‘o’ as you felt your cheeks heat up. You blinked a couple of times trying to make sure that you didn’t hear that wrong.
“Well, it could be a date, if you want it to be?” You said your, voice quiet.
Cole froze, processing your words before smiling and rubbing his thumb across your knuckles. “I’d like that a lot, Y/N,”
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Helloooo
I can’t help but notice that your requests are open soooo..I HAVE COME TO DELIVER A REQUEST AHAHAHAHHAAH
Ahem..
Can I please request a Genshin self-aware au scenario/hc on how the characters would react to a player/reader that always gets mad/annoyed when they get a commission that involves helping the NPC’s? (Commission Ex. Having to clean, carry, find or something for the NPC bc they just can’t do it for some reason and only the Almighty Traveler can)
If I have broken a rule or you just don’t want to do this then feel free to delete this request. You have no obligation whatsoever to write for something you don’t want. Your blog, your rules.
— I definitely didn’t put my frustrations into this request. I seriously hate those kinds of commissions. It takes way longer than fighting or jumping on mushrooms
I wonder if you can find out who I am heheehheheheheh it’s quite obvious though. Sadly
I am stupid asf so i dont know who you are i have met alot of people so i probably dunno TELL ME WHO YOU AREEEE
TY ANON FOR THE REQUEST!!!! Mwah mwah
The people (mostly targetted to vision holders) usually feel your presence ALOT, and they can feel this aura around your non existing body. This angered presence usually comes up when you are controlling the traveller to do commissions mostly related to people (NPCS). They hear a faint groan or sigh somewhere in their ears.
Some realized that ;
You didnt like doing these types of commissions
They would hear your faint but godly voice ranting about how the people can just do it themselves like can they just carry this boxes, clean themselves, find stuff for themselves no need for the all mighty Traveller to do it all. I mean we became the world's errand player now, and how you would rather fight or hop on mushrooms than clean dirt off of the ground.
The people thought about it. Maybe they should help you since you dont like these types of commissions anyways, if the anemo archon can admit it, his people are stupid maybe a little too stupid.
Suddenly when you log in genshin, you suddenly have rewards coming. Maybe its a bug? But who are you ti care, FREE PRIMOS!!!
The people are happy about you excitedly wishing for the characters you wanted. Just feeling your happy joyful presence is enough for them to live for a life time
“ 💜 ” Sorry if its short! I dont really have any ideas about this :')
tell me your identity>:(
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hi loves. this is gonna be kind of a long rant post so read if you want down below the cut but the basic of it is: i’m leaving tumblr.
this is probably one of the hardest things i’ve made the decision to do recently. as many of you know, i had taken a break from tumblr some time ago after completely deleting my account and i promise you that isn’t happening. my fanfics will still be up, this page will still be up, it just won’t be active. so don’t worry.
the only thing stopping is my current posting.
the reason for this is simple: i need to focus on my mental health and personal relationships. i have been pulling myself in a thousand different directions and unfortunately i cannot run this and try to focus on myself anymore.
i don’t know if i plan on coming back, i really don’t. i can only say i plan on coming back when i am ready for it. and right now i’m not.
i’m also sorry to say that i’m cancelling all my future fanfics, including etheral and lost in the margins. two fanfics i was really excited for but i can’t focus on that right now.
i appreciate you all, each and every one of you, for engaging with my content. i love you all, i hope you all can understand. thank you guys for supporting me through this insane journey, this has been the best thing i have ever done.
anyway. that’s all i have to say. thank you guys who have read this, i adore you. go shine my loves.
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I just need to get this out and then it’s OVER
almost none of you knew me when i was going through my senior year (2016/2017) deep mutual infatuation with this girl who eventually fell in love with me but by that point she was literally pushing every single 😵💫 and 😨 button i had so i was like simultaneously over her but also didn’t have any other local friends at the time (and she would give me attention). and i reacted soooo badly to her pushing my buttons and tried my best to tell her what was going on but i did not know how to express it effectively so we both got frustrated and I just started being ridiculous about it (like started talking to my freshman year boyfriend again. WHY. also just realized i started sleeping with him in 2018 after seeing her again literally what was wrong with me 😭) which i regret a lot bc i was definitely 20 whole years old by that point. so by the end of the (school) year we had a terrible “breakup” (we were never together) that shook our entire department. And that’s not even the worst part… like a year later when we saw each other again i was very mean which is what i really regret bc i really had all the resources to just leave the situation but i decided to stay and let myself get mean! i should probably tell her this and like say sorry (for some of it… this was a mutually destructive situation) instead of posting here. but i really don’t want to bring it back up 😋🫶🏿 except that she added me on Instagram like a year or two ago and has just been sitting in my follow requests the whole time. i hope she’s in a happy relationship with someone who isn’t doing new and inventive psychological warfare on themselves 🤭 but yeah i literally feel so bad that i have not allowed myself to be mean to people since 2018 even when i maybe need to be.
This also was after my weird isolated summer internship in eastern washington (two hours outside of yakima like it was RURAL) where i didn’t talk to anyone for 8-9 weeks and then starting hanging out with the 27yo phd interns who gave me captain morgans and wanted to cuddle even though i was weird and 19. literally went right from that into this… how did that happen.
anyway i was also taking a slight social media break at the time and deleted all the rant posts off of peach so even though i was experiencing severe mental turmoil there is no proof outside of my memories. so moral of the story… stay on social media! and over share constantly!!
idk part of me wants to try this again with someone else but i know i would end up pregnant or something one way or another
#it took me like 40 minutes to type and edit all this bc i kept getting distracted#and i didnt even get to the point lmao
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how do you deal with hate? like from what I understand, you posted your first "controversial" post knowing that people might hate you for it, and you did so anyways. even tho it might have felt like you were the only one who believed those things at the time. where do you get the confidence? cause honestly that was such a slay.
Like, obvi we all have our own opinions and I don't agree with everything you said but the confidence you had.. grrrr i like it so much 💗💗 i love it when people are real with their opinions.
okay ty, im sorry for rambling, gonna stop here now 😭😭
I really want to play it cool and say something like “I just don’t care what people think of me,” but honestly? Yeah I was terrified of posting my first BSD-related post.
I had been enjoying the BSD fandom from afar for about a year before posting anything about it. I’ve always had this personal pet peeve when (fictional or real) bullies get a free pass to be assholes when they’re conventionally attractive, but that applies to all fandoms, not just BSD and not just Dazai.
(Note that that’s not a moral stance, there’s nothing wrong with liking a morally grey character, and there’s nothing wrong with finding a bad (fictional or real) person to be physically attractive. This pet peeve of mine stems more from how (fictional) bullies who aren’t attractive are seen as the biggest evil unleashed upon the world, while fictional bullies who are attractive are seen as The Ideal Boyfriend)
One day I saw a post pointing out one of the things Dazai did that bothered me, and I really wanted to add to it via reblog, but I was concerned I’d derail the original post, so I screenshot it and wrote a whole follow-up rant.
Then I saved that post in my drafts for three days.
I posted something vague like “I really want to talk about this one character from this one fandom, but the fandom is very aggressive and they’d burn me at the stake if I said anything too controversial”
I don’t think I intended to explicitly tag it with anything searchable, but I must have said something like “#yeah this is about bsd those guys are scary”— apparently that counts as tagging it #bsd by tumblr’s standards, and someone from the bsd fandom (who I’m now mutuals with) responded with something like “most of us are nice! We wanna hear what you have to say!!”
That was enough motivation for me to get that post out of drafts, and even then I didn’t post it immediately. I scheduled it to post for a time when I wasn’t home, so that if there’d be backlash I wouldn’t have to witness it live and I could just delete the post later.
Not only was there no backlash, but hardly anyone saw the post. Iirc it got between 3-5 notes. That was what gave me the confidence to continue talking about my (admittedly controversial) fandom opinions.
My main blog is primarily a Shakespeare/Classic Lit blog, and the online fandom for those things encourages controversial opinions (as opposed to the standard anime blog, where it seems like posting controversy is a taboo). So once I had the confidence to interact with an anime fandom in the first place, it wasn’t too hard to post my controversial opinions, because that’s the internet culture I’m more used to.
As for how I deal with the hate, you’ll be glad to know there’s only one person on this entire site who sends (bsd-related) hate. If you’ve received any hate, it’s from her. So while I have received hate messages (everything ranging from “your blog sucks” to graphic suicide bate and murder threats), knowing it’s all from the same person makes it all pretty meaningless. Everyone else on tumblr just blocks what they don’t want to see, either by blocking blogs they’d like to avoid or by blocking tags for subjects that annoy them.
Since I tag anything that speaks of Dazai in a negative way as “#anti Dazai,” I don’t often run into people who don’t want to see negative character analysis who’ve discovered my posts accidentally.
If you want to post about something, go right ahead! The people who enjoy the content you make will follow you, and the people who don’t will block you, and everyone will curate their own tumblr experience to make this site something we can all enjoy. Admittedly if the fandom you’d like to post to is bsd, you WILL get harassed by that one person, but everyone else in this fandom has gotten harassed by her too. We mostly just ignore her at this point.
Posting controversial opinions to fandom spaces can be scary, but if you have something you’d like to post, go for it! I personally would recommend starting a side blog for it, that way if things really do get out of hand you could delete it easily without losing your tumblr account. But the most likely outcome is that it wouldn’t gain enough traction for anyone to be overly bothered by it. Controversial things are more often ignored than hated on.
(For context, I’m referring to this blog too! I’m a tiny little blog. So please don’t interpret that as some veiled insult, I’m in this group of “tiny controversial fandom blog” too)
Anyway. Best of luck to you!! And remember, the point of posting things is to have fun! If it’s causing more stress than enjoyment, there’s no shame in taking a break or logging off for a bit. I’ve taken multiple breaks, and I only post to the Anti-Dazai Series when I enjoy what I’m posting.
[Also. I absolutely love controversial fandom opinions, especially if they’re well written. It doesn’t matter to me whether or not I agree, so long as it’s a cool or original take on the source material. So if you wanna dm me, I’ll definitely follow you and your blog full of all your hottest takes]
#Anti-Dazai Asks#The internet it scary! Fandom spaces are scary!!#You’re right and I agree with you!!#The hardest part is getting started. Once you start posting the people who like your stuff will follow#Plus maybe more people agree with you than you think!!#You never know until you take the initiative#I have more mutuals here than I ever would have guessed#I think you’ll find that whatever controversial takes you have. there are more people who agree with you than you realize#I’m honored that you view me as a confident sort of person though!!#I’m actually Just Some Guy (<-girl)
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I think you should be cancelled and harassed for that bald rhea post period tbh.
Ok jokes aside- man these people really do suck, huh. I can’t tell you the number of times over the years I’ve made posts about not liking Edelgard/analyzing the text in ways her fans don’t like/etc and got swarmed by her stans arguing in bad faith at best and telling me to kms or threatening me at worst. Over video game discourse.
Meanwhile all I’ve seen you do is personally complain on your own blog about takes you see that you disagree with? And when you bring people up it’s always because they were doing some wack shit like sharing screenshots with uncensored usernames or block evading? Again I just don’t know what reality these people live in but it’s so fucking annoying and the reason why I stay on anon lol.
(Rant time) There’s just no winning with these folks seeing as they’re pretty much just bullies at this point deflecting their own (or at least people in their circle’s) behavior back on the people just trying to talk about the game and mind their own damn business. It’s really not that hard to see a take you disagree with and just block and move on, it’s so easy and I do it all the time. It’s hard to want to genuinely interact with ANYONE pro-cf/Edelgard/etc when I’ve been burned so many times by people jumping to call me vile things because I dared share a reading of the text different than the ones they personally project onto the game. Even just saying “I like Rhea and don’t think she’s nearly as bad as people make her out to be” is some sort of cause for freaking the fuck out and harassing people which just. *Head in hands* UGH. Anyway rant over. I know you just laugh at them at this point (and good on you for that) but I’m still so sorry you have to deal with these ppl, truly could not be me.
~⭐️
My notifications only showed the "I think you should be harassed for..." and I had my hazmat suit ready.
Bald Rhea is beautiful wdym?
Jesus christ. You were told to kill yourself?? And getting threats? Dude I am so sorry you had to go through that. I said it before but don't worry about sending asks if this is the only way you can get it out of your system.
At best I've clowned on people who reblogged my posts to start shit. Or someone who tried to start shit with a mutual and I was out of fucks to give at that point. But they don't specify who and what we're talking about, so I'm left guessing.
I believe a certain person had previously stated that tumblr is public and that they have the right to correct any misunderstanding and set things straight or whatever. Which is fucking pathetic. I have come across people who fucking gutted canon and I just blocked them. Like you said, it is not that hard.
Then again, they also said that any attack on Edelgard is a personal attack (unironically), so there really is no winning. Nothing you say will change anything because they will keep seeing it as an attack on their character.
Thanks anon. It's kinda tiring at this point. I want to have an honest discussion with people, but I was banned from the edelgard server, and now people are deleting their accounts (lol why) instead of talking to me directly.
Still funny tho when they get mad and call me toxic or sexist or whatever because I respond with shitposts to their serious "debates."
#edelgard discourse#dimitri borb#grey borb#again i am sorry you had to go through that#fucking awful how far some people will go for a set of pixels
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I’m very sorry I just desperately need somewhere to vent.
So, I live in my boyfriends house but we split rent, bills, etc so I definitely feel as though I should have a say if his brother comes to stay.
I’ve never gotten along with his brother. He makes me insanely uncomfortable and I have a lot of trauma that I won’t go into right now but you get it. He constantly stares at me in a really unnerving way and he’s an addict and I’ve been in active recovery for about 5 years now so it isn’t easy when he’s wanting to do all his shit around my fucking house.
Anyway, my boyfriend wakes me up at around 7am to tell me he’s going to pick up his brother. I ask him why and he says that his brothers going to be staying here for a few weeks. I literally just blank stared him and asked why he didn’t feel the need to inform me he was staying here when he knows damn well that a. I’m in recovery. And b. How fucking uncomfortable he makes me due to stuff that’s happened in the past.
My boyfriend basically said “Well, it’s my house CJ I can have who I want around here.” And when I asked him about the time my sister needed a place to stay and he point blank said “absolutely not” and he just responded with “you know how I feel about your family” and left to go pick his brother up.
I understand that he is his brother and I don’t know if I’m just being dramatic or whatever but I hate feeling so uncomfortable I can’t even walk around my own house and I’m not allowed to have my family here because he doesn’t like them, but god forbid I don’t want his brother here for once.
I’ve spoken to a few online friends about his behavior in other aspects. Like how he feels about me even having this account, how he’s been in the past and so on. I love him, but I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel trapped.
In addition (TW) it’s been 1 year today since I miscarried so I’m a bit of a mess, and he doesn’t really seem to give a fuck which just makes everything ten times worse. He’s hardly spoken a word to me and I just don’t know what to do anymore.
Anyway I’m sorry for ranting and I will probably delete this later. I just needed to get this off my chest.
#i honestly don’t know what to do#I’m getting really sick of this shit#i changed my life around for him#and he never puts my feelings into consideration
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i’m about to have a hater moment
basically i wanna write another umbrella academy fanfic. so obviously this got me thinking about the umbrella academy. and then this got me thinking about how they absolutely destroyed our girl allison. like they really said let’s have one of the very few poc characters we have on the show assault another character. and then they really had diego tell allison “i don’t think the rest of our (white) siblings really understood how hard it was for us in the 60s” without actually fucking showing us the hardships diego faced for being a man of color in the 60s. like what? they covered the civil rights movement which now that im thinking about it was probably just bc they had to like if they could get away w skipping it i 100% believe that they would. diego literally called grace Mom (bc that’s his Mom) and all grace did was smile at him funny and go “you have no fucking game.” like okay writers producers directors WHOEVER at the umbrella academy maybe if u wanted to show how hard it was for diego in the 60s u could have had grace go wayyy harder on him and had him kicked out of the party and then it’d be this whole thing as he and lila try to sneak back in but nooo apparently retconning everything was the way to go
this rant was also partly inspired by the stranger things controversy. like i had a whole long post about this that i deleted but i had literally never heard anyone talk about racism in this fandom (to this degree!) until argyle’s actor wasnt invited back onto s5. then all of a sudden posts that are like “lucas doesn’t have an actual developed storyline like the white characters” are getting SO many notes, and it’s good that they are bc more people are actually paying attention, but did it seriously take a comedic relief character that got randomly introduced in the latter half of the shows running to get yall to care about racism? and if anything the fact that argyle is the comedic relief best friend to the white main character who is high all the fucking time is racist in itself but whatever. that show had so much potential it’s such a shame s5 doesn’t exist
anyway i also made a reallyyy long post about the umbrella academy portion of the rant but now that the last season is so close (like months and months away) im lowkey hoping they actually do retcon that scene?? i mean allison and luther’s relationship in general is to showcase how these characters didn’t have a normal upbringing and the assault scene expanded on that but the aftermath was handled so poorly. “im sorry” “nah it’s ok don’t worry about it” guys i know we were in a time crunch but if ur gonna have something so heavy u can’t just fucking dismiss it like that. even ella enchanted had a scene where the prince was like “kiss me” “okay” “i’m not giving you an order… just a request” “i know.” like im fucking sorry but if ur gonna make allison go thru that sort of arc u need to do it right. but also i’m a very negative person (cringe) so take all my complaints with a grain of salt
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Minor rant ahead, feel free to delete this if you'd like:
I'm so so sick of the tabloids and various book writers and such all attempting to paint E as this dangerous, disgusting predator (or worse) who "victimized" teenage girls, because of who he dated at different points in his life. When in reality, all the women who've been interviewed (even people like Sandy Martindale and the girls at the "sleepovers" with him) have only spoken about how kind and respectful he was towards them, and that he never overstepped his bounds or did anything inappropriate to them. Yes, he did have a temper, but they've also said he never took his anger out on them.
Plus, from what I gather, E never actually slept with/had sex with underage girls (or at the very least I can't find any conclusive proof of such a thing), unlike several rock stars of the time such as Steven Tyler or Jimmy Page. He would only do innocent things like tickle them, kiss and cuddle with them; even his friends said what went on was horseplay, not foreplay, and the girls at the sleepovers said that "the things we did were things that kids do, they were really all very innocent."
Now I'm not saying him dating teens or doing these things was necessarily right, but at that time (especially in the South) it was considered normal for adult men to date teen girls and for there to be large age gaps in relationships. Heck, Loretta Lynn married her husband when she was 14 and he was 21. So it's easy to see why E thought hanging around teens and having the sleepovers was normal. It was simply a different time then, and people like Alanna Nash and Joel Willamson don't seem to get that.
This is my favorite kind of rant. I completely agree with everything you’ve said. People always want to focus on the girls and what he did with them because they want to twist things and make him seem like some monster. But he was the complete opposite of that. I feel like no matter Elvis was always respectful and never wanted to hurt anyone. I feel like he found comfort in these girls especially because he would do innocent little things like kissing, cuddling, and tickling.
People always tend to forget that it was a different time and more acceptable for that kind of relationship especially in the south like you said. Elvis is also a product of his time much like the rest of them. That’s why he didn’t see anything really wrong with it sometimes. Just like none of the girls did and still don’t to this day. They never have anything bad to say or that he was a “pedo”. They always want to throw around that he married a 14 year old. WHICH DRIVES ME NUTS. A simple google search would show Cilla was 21 when they married. But they don’t want to focus on the fact that there were people actually marrying 14 year olds!!!! I feel like people want to focus so much on what Elvis was doing but aren’t paying attention to the real predators and creeps who were actually doing harmful things to young girls whether they wanted it or not. Even artists today are out here doing bullshit.
I just wish that people who write these books or make these documentaries about him just focus more on him and his career and his love of music. His love for his fans. We don’t have to keep talking about the same thing and over analyzing everything and going on about the women he was with all the time. We don’t need that. We know the stories, lol. You’re only feeding the haters more of what they want to come at Elvis fans.
Honestly Alanna comparing him to R. Kelly was the most disrespectful shit I’ve ever heard. They are completely… COMPLETELY two different people. Elvis never hurt any of those girls and none of them are out here accusing him or have ever accused him of anything. 🙄
Anyway, sorry for my mini rant.
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listen i'm really sorry that you are being targeted for your weight. you are right! bmi is bm-bullshit. in the friendliest way, though, your last post is giving racist. "very chinese"? i'm not sure what you mean, or if you are actually chinese and feel you have the right to say that. if that's the case, i can sort of understand.
just wanted to kindly let you know that the way it appeared to me... it didn't read great. i doubt you intended it to sound that way, which is why i thought i should let you know how it came across.
Oh nooo I’m so sorry, I should have clarified!!! Yes I am Chinese lol, I’ll prob delete just so others don’t get the same vibe because I’m too autistic to tell what communities I should and should not make these comments to lakdkskfkskfj
tldr; I am Chinese with parents and in-laws from mainland China that I challenge on these topics, considering ethnocentricity and how social justice can be intricate in that context, husband and I follow content creators (x and x) that embrace our stereotypes through comedy, I’m a dumbass and didn’t realize that it wouldn’t translate well onto a text-only blog where my face and background is not apparent, this is actually a very micro aggressive ask and triggered me a lot so i ranted at the end and you can read at your own risk
To explain, this is a personal gripe that my husband and I have a lot with traditional Asian cultures in that sizeism isn’t really recognized and we challenge both my parents and his parents on those worldviews to limited degrees of success. Both his parents and my parents are from mainland China and while my parents have been in the US for a while, his haven’t (he’s an international student), although they are much more willing to listen to me when I challenge them
On the other hand there’s the whole thing about not forcing Western views onto non-Western cultures, which is why this is a delicate balance to walk and I rarely bring it up to them directly because I don’t wanna seem like I’m shitting on them too much, but I’ve been trying to push it a bit more recently because he’s struggling with a lot of body dysphoria and I’m trying to nip it in the bud
Anyway, I’ll prob delete the post and I’m so sorry it came off that way!!! My husband and I and our lil Chinese community joke a lot about our own stereotypes a lot (see Steven He and Uncle Roger for more well-known examples), and I completely forgot that it won’t seem that way to people outside of the community or on the internet where race/ethnicity isn’t as apparent. 🥹
EDIT: okay y’know what, I’m gonna be a bitch for a second and just lyk that approaching it in this way is incredibly rude and condescending and I can kinda get it because you didn’t know I was Chinese, but I am incredibly triggered right now so I’m gonna rant and ramble in that this message, even if it’s “nice”, is incredibly self-righteous and all of this could have been avoided had you just DM’d me or even said “yo that post might not sit well with people jlyk”
and I get it. Not everyone knows about how those type of callouts can be harmful, but to say that I’m not allowed to talk about my own community in a way that IS used as a valid form of coping just pisses me the fuck off and is triggering all the invalidation issues. I'd like to clarify that this ask itself is not what is racist and triggering but your comment as an outsider about how i "might" think i have the right to say that is very much gaslighting-type behavior because y'know what, I DO have a right and i can't really get myself to care about you understanding why i have that right. google exists. chatgpt exists. do your research.
Just like how cishet folks will never know what it’s like to be queer, or how people that aren’t BIPOC will never know what it’s like to be BIPOC, *my* experience as a obviously Chinese person in a very white society that is literally trying to exile us due to a virus that isn’t even our fault is not something that any outsider can ever truly understand. So yes, taking my voice away is furthering that oppression and I encourage you to educate yourself.
#tw: discourse#maybe#kat chats#kat rambles#editing tags because no i am not fucking sorry#am i sorry for assuming that people know i'm chinese/asian? sure#am i sorry for “offending” you as a faux ally? fuck no lol#pls do your own research
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Hi there
Sorry this is going to be a long rant. If you are not comfortable with or don’t want to deal with this skip and delete :)
I just think you might be able to understand these feelings. I was arguing with my partner and trying my best to explain that I need minimal emotional support, need to connect to him when I have difficult times. Need him to see me as a person with interests and hobbies and I need to talk to him, really talk.
And I think to the best of his ability he tried to get behind that idea. But all he sees now is how childish I am. Childish for needing emotional support, childish for loving art, to draw. Childish for not setting my biggest life achievement as climbing the fking corp ladder as high as possible.
All the emotions and feelings and thoughts I have are childish and that if I get more busy, get more ambitious at work, or “grow out of my phase” I won’t be needing them.
All I wanted to say was fk u I growed in to that phase, I made myself more attuned to my emotions and needs, and to express them through arts and language.
So I guess I am childish, childish and stupid, but I don’t really want to change it.
Anyway you don’t have to answer this, and sorry I know it doesn’t make much sense.
Have a good day.
Don't worry you can vent out here anytime you want. :) All I have to say is that you should be you, don't change for anyone, and don't apologize for being the way you are.
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Hello, this isn't really asking you something so i'm really sorry. I'm not sure if this rant is even something you'll care to read so feel free to delete it or whatever. I found out this week that i've got endometriosis and that there's a good chance that I wont be able to have kids. I wanted them. Not imminently but the point stands.
Anyway, it got me thinking about how people always use infertile women as a kinda 'gotcha!' when debating the definition of women. They always go on about how 'if women are the sex who produce ova, then what about infertile women, hm?' And i've just kind of been thinking about how this defines my social identity as much as being a woman capable bearing children would determine my social identity.
I don't really know what i'm trying to say here. I'm still a woman. I'm still classed as a woman. I have this condition that honestly fucks me over because I am a woman. I am only unable to bear children because previously it was believed that I was able to. My position as a woman in society defines my identity as much as (and is immutable as) my position as a white person or as an older sibling.
I don't know i've just kind of been mulling on it and it's just been bugging me, the implication that all of a sudden i'm some sort of subcategory of woman. Or some sort of slightly less definitive woman. Like i'm on the borderline. I've always been a girl and it just kind of feels like thats another thing this is taking away.
Anyway, really sorry to bother you. I hope you have a good easter or whatever. Sorry again, you don't have to read this I just saw your thing about what it means to be a woman and thought you might be a good person to send this to because no one wants to hear it.
First of all, I’m so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. You know this already but it doesn’t mean you’re definitely sterile - I believe Halsey has endometriosis and gave birth a few years ago, and of course there are countless other examples.
I actually have PCOS so while not exactly the same, I also grappled with potential infertility and felt that same grief you’re experiencing now. It’s very hard. You need to allow yourself to grieve because it truly is a very emotional experience, especially for someone who wanted children eventually.
In no way are you less of a woman or a subcategory of woman. “Woman” is a broad category, and the inclusion of women with fertility issues isn’t at all controversial. In fact, this is one of the most woman-specific experiences you could have. Many many women struggle with infertility and various disorders of the reproductive system. I don’t actually care to strictly define the term woman, even while maintaining that trans women are not analogous to biological women, because I think that it ends up creating bizarre divisions like the idea that infertile women aren’t women (I don’t think there are many GCs who believe this, but their narrow framework of womanhood essentially states this). Making a division there is unnecessary. But having endometriosis is something only a female could have. I know how difficult this must be, but I hope you manage to find some peace with it <3
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