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#arsenal was so disappointing
artetass · 1 year
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rueshalittlejohn · 4 months
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it’s okay now we can just focus on the prem. losing is actually really beneficial ←losing will 2 live
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inamelancholicmood · 7 months
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absolute beauty of an assist from havertz, martinelli’s goal was *chef’s kiss*, where tf was haaland LMAO, foden v ben white was fucking epic, kovačić should have fucking had a red card, and i hope kyle walker gets a game ban for what he pulled leaving the field
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wileys-russo · 9 days
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maternal instinct (2) II a.russo
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part one maternal instinct (2) II a.russo
it had been a few days now and alessia hadn't heard much from you since the kiss, her confession and your reality check.
realistically she had known the moment it clicked for her that she had unresolved poorly harbored more than friendly feelings for you that it was complicated.
you had a child, a living, breathing, growing human being who depended on you for everything and anything. in turn of course you would be protective of that, of her, and of change.
alessia couldn't even begin to imagine what motherhood was like. the closest she'd come was her relationship with her own mother and even then in that scenario she was the daughter, the protected and ingthe cared for, not the parent taking the bullets as they came and shielding her from the wreckage.
so the striker had tried to her best to swallow her feelings, reminding herself that it wasn't fair on you to push them forward when you already had a very clearly well established routine and lifestyle.
but when those little dinners became weekly, the two of you spent more and more time together and in turn alessia earned bellas trust and started to get to know your daughter for the wonderfully bright charismatic and charming thing she was, there was suddenly two holes forming in the blondes heart.
then the thoughts started to creep in that just maybe this could work, maybe you might feel the same. alessia didn't yet have a maternal bone in her body but she wasn't opposed to learning, and she found herself daydreaming of how she might slot herself into your routine.
picking bella up from school when you had to work late, making lunches of a morning so you could have a few extra minutes to sleep in, the two of you in the stands in arsenal jerseys cheering for her.
but then alessia was fast to check herself, to remember that just because she could see herself slotting in that was far from the reality of what it meant to even date someone with a child let alone to be a step parent.
but all of that noise was pushed into a cupboard and the door firmly locked the moment your lips touched and alessia's heart swelled in size, hell she'd even give the grinch a run for his money that day.
though it didn't end how she'd hoped alessia meant what she said that night, she meant that she was okay to take things slow, she meant that she was more than happy to let you set the course and the pace and not overstep in any of that process.
alessia would be lying if she said she wasn't a little disappointed as the days passed and you didn't reach out, and that her finger didn't often hover over your contact with the temptation to send a follow up message to her last one.
she'd heard both you and bella coming and going from your apartment, often hovering by her door in wait for your voices to either disappear inside or into the elevator before she'd exit her own apartment, wanting to respect the fact you were taking the space that alessia did tell you to take if needed.
eventually thursday rolled around and the blonde found herself in two minds.
over the time she'd been living in her new place and then become friends with you, the routine had suddenly become that each thursday one of you would go to the others for dinner.
those dinners alessia hadn't realised how much she'd treasured until she found herself looking at the prospect of a thursday passing without one and her stomach lurched uncomfortably.
but as the hours ticked by and considering that it was your turn to host and alessia was yet to hear from you, she found herself with no choice but to assume it wasn't happening, ignoring the small voice in the back of her head telling her to check with you.
training was a brief distraction, her full focus and attention thrown into football to take her mind off of you for a few hours, which was a bandaid solution but worked.
but then as soon as she was cooling down and getting ready to head home, you were right back in the forefront of her thoughts.
her teammates and friends knew very little of you, alessia selfishly keeping you all to herself and not sharing much more with her friends than that her neighbors were all nice and welcoming, especially those on her floor.
which wasn't a lie, it just wasn't the entire truth and that was a matter alessia was content to keep to herself if not mainly for your privacy.
needless to say though since the kiss itself the last few days had been a roller coaster of emotions for the striker.
regret that she kissed you. fear you may not want anything to do with her anymore. anxiety that she'd squandered a chance of even a continuing healthy friendship. hope that you might just maybe feel the same way she did with some time to think it over properly.
returning from her shower post training and drying her hair with a towel, tapping her phone to check the time alessia finally had some sort of a step toward an answer, a missed call and a message from you sending her heart into her throat.
she could hear emily talking to her, having been engaged in the conversation prior to now but after finally seeing your contact name on her notifications again she'd tuned her friend right out.
relief flooded her body seeing you were indeed checking if she still wanted to come over for dinner and apologising for the lack of contact this week, and alessia completely missed emily giving up on gaining her attention after snapping her fingers routinely at the blonde who didn't respond.
sending a quick message back confirming she'd love to come to dinner alessia was rudely slammed back into reality as her phone was yanked from her hand and she looked up to meet a cheeky grin.
"kyra! give it back." the striker groaned holding her hand out for the phone as the australian shook her head. "who are you smiling so happily at lessi?" the younger girl teased with a toothy smirk as alessia rolled her eyes.
"no one! not that its any of your business anyway." she snatched her phone back and tucked it away safely in her pocket as kyra merely smirked wider. "suure russo sure." the brunette teased again as alessia ignored her and packed away her belongings into her gym bag.
"anyway, your secret love life aside. are you coming for dinner? i think we're getting sushi but vic can't decide and we all know what she's like when its her turn to pick a place." kyra rolled her eyes as alessia stood with a slight chuckle at the truth behind her words of their dutch teammate, slinging her bag over her shoulder.
"i can't tonight, sorry." the blonde apologized with a smile, trying to leave but sighing as kyra darted to quickly block her way. "i see...out for a date with your secret lover?" the younger girl made kissy faces obnoxiously.
"grow up kyra!" alessia chuckled shoving her away by the forehead as the shorter girl stumbled backwards and fell causing a few of the girls to laugh at her expense as alessia said her own goodbyes and headed for the door as kyra yelled out after her.
"hey that wasn't a no!"
~
alessia was expecting to see you today after your message and the missed call.
though it wasn't sat against your door with a miserable scowl on your face and your knees tucked to your chest. "good afternoon?" the striker greeted with a slightly nervous smile as you looked up and sighed.
"are you alright?" concern seeped into her tone now as she gripped the strap of her gym bag and anxiously rubbed her fingers against the course material to try and ground herself.
"i locked myself out." you admitted quietly with a huff, head thumping back against the door as your cheeks flushed red with embarrassment and alessia bit down on her bottom lip to stop a smile forming.
"its not funny! my phones in there too so i can't even call someone." you whined with a groan. "your daughter isn't by chance locked in there too is she?" alessia teased lightly as you shook your head.
"no she's staying over at her dads tonight, she has a family tree project for school so he's helping her do his side." you sighed as alessia just smiled down at you.
"i see. so how did you manage this then? coming from an expert at locking herself out of course." the blonde tried to lighten the mood which you appreciated as she took a seat next to you but still giving you a respectable amount of space, gym bag sat in her lap.
"don't laugh." you warned as alessia feigned a cross over her heart and you exhaled heavily. "well the other day i ordered a new library card and-" you paused, head whipping sideways as you heard a snicker.
"alessia!" you huffed pushing her shoulder as she bit down on her bottom lip. "i haven't even started yet and you're already laughing." you complained with a frown as she waved it off with the excuse she needed to cough and encouraged you to continue.
"so i ordered a new library card and a huge haul of new stationary for the school. but of course it all got delivered to the wrong address so i complained and the post office picked it up and organised a re-delivery." you continued as alessia hummed, eyes fixed on you listening intently.
"well it finally arrived today and in my eagerness to grab the package from the lobby i sort of ran out without my keys, without my phone and apparently without a brain." you huffed picking at a loose thread of the hem of your shirt.
when there was no word from the blonde beside you, you glanced over to see her biting down on her bottom lip clearly trying very hard not to laugh as you sighed deeply.
"go on then." you waved her off with a roll of your eyes, unable to stop your lips tugging into a small smile at the melodic sound of her laughter. "you're the worst!" you huffed still smiling, pushing her again.
"is that really the way to talk to your only source of shelter, communication with the outside world and entertainment?" alessia teased, nerves having melted away now things seemed to be all normal between the two of you as she climbed up to her feet.
"come on. you can use my phone to call the building manager!" alessia held out her hands to help you up, bag balanced on her shoulder as you grabbed her hands, noting they were significantly larger than your own and immediately banishing that thought with a slight warmth in your cheeks.
"i'll even make you dinner if you ask nicely!" alessia grinned, pulling you to your feet and dropping your hands to open the door to her own apartment, a smile softening your features as you noticed the bracelet bella gave her was indeed attached to her house keys.
"oh my god and i'd already started to make dinner too!" you groaned in realisation, cringing at the thought of the mince meat sat in a bowl on your counter top where you'd intended to make meatballs.
"i've actually not gone grocery shopping thats a tomorrow errand. maybe we order in?" alessia realised as she let the pair of you in, cheeks flushing slightly with embarrassment as you nodded happily.
"i'll never say no to a takeaway." you assured as she kicked off her slides and ducked off to her room to dump her bag.
you'd been in alessia's apartment enough times now not to feel like a stranger, but it still didn't stop you smiling as you stood looking at the various framed photos which littered the walls of her entryway of friends and family.
"less you were so cute!" you squealed spotting a new addition, a small photo of a no more than four or five year old alessia in a dirty football kit grinning and holding up a medal and trophy in her hands.
"god you sound like my mum. every time she comes over she has a fit over the childhood photos as if she wasn't the one who took them and she doesn't have album on album of them neatly organised in year order." alessia groaned, bumping her shoulder into yours as she passed and headed for the kitchen.
"i think i need to meet your mum and see these albums." you teased as the blonde gave you a horrified look before offering you a drink which you politely declined.
"what is that?" you asked with a scrunch of your face as she pulled out a thick looking drink in a protein shaker which was a colour you don't think you'd be able to find on any colour wheel.
"recovery shake." alessia explained after she'd downed a mouthful of it without flinching, offering it to you as you shook your head. "whats in it? thats a less than desirable colour." you chuckled taking a seat at the bench.
"umm protein powder, milk, yoghurt, honey, two raw eggs, kale, electrolytes, avocado, pineapple-" the more ingredients she listed the more your look of disgust grew before the blonde caught it and laughed.
"it sounds and looks worse than it actually tastes. go on!" she encouraged again, rounding the corner and holding it out to you as you firmly shook your head. "one tiny sip, come onn." the footballer shook it in your face with a grin as you pulled your head back.
"it doesn't even smell bad. i eat with my nose so thats why i add the fruit in, disguises all the vegetables. promise!" alessia swore as you gave her a strange look.
“you eat with your nose? what are you a hoover?" you quipped with a smile as she flicked your ear with a roll of her eyes, her legs just grazing yours as she took a step forward slightly towering over where you sat.
"no like if i don't like the smell of something i won't eat it." alessia admitted bashfully, speaking again before you could quip back with a teasing remark.
"come on, one small mouthful. aren't mothers supposed to be responsible and demonstrate trying new things?" alessia mocked with a grin still holding out the shaker as you begrudgingly took it from her hand.
"do you see my daughter anywhere near this atrocity?" you scoffed but took a cautious sniff, unable to disagree that really all you could smell was honey and pineapple.
with a defeated sigh you took the tiniest of sips, recoiling and shoving it back into her hand, alessias head thrown back with laughter at your reaction as you coughed into the crook of your arm.
"thats foul!" you spluttered out as alessia grinned ear to ear and nodded. "yeah they taste horrid but its part of my training program that i have to drink them after every session, you get used to them after awhile." alessia shrugged and took another large mouthful.
"you knew it tasted horrible and still egged me on to try it?" you scoffed in disbelief as alessia nodded, downing it again as you pushed at her but she hardly moved an inch, grinning in amusement at your attempts.
"sharing is caring. now you got a taste of what its like to be an elite athlete!" alessia smiled, sculling the last couple of mouthfuls and bonking you lightly on the head with the empty shaker as you kicked at her and she side stepped, making her way to the sink to rinse it out.
"right i was going to buy dinner but after that little stunt its on you russo."
~
"alessia!" you gasped in shock as the striker nearly fell over herself in her haste to hurry into the living room. "what? what’s happened? are you alright?" she asked worriedly at your tone, having been changing into something a bit more comfortable.
"im fine. do you not know how to get dressed?" you laughed at her disheveled state as she huffed and wriggled around to twist her hoodie on properly, pushing her head through and smoothing it out.
"i do! why did you gasp like that?" alessia huffed moving to take a seat on the lounge beside you. "because you watched ahead, again!" you smacked her shoulder nodding to the screen, alessia having nearly finished the show you’d both been watching together.
"i didn't know when we were going to hang out and i wanted to know who the killer was!" the blonde defended herself, swatting away your hands which tried to smack her again. "so did i but i waited!" you groaned, head thumping against the back of the lounge.
"well it was-" alessia started as you dropped the remote and hurried to cover her mouth. "don't you dare spoil it for me." you warned as she rolled her eyes but nodded as you removed your hand and she wiped her mouth with the corner of her sleeve.
"well i'd normally watch the premier league, but why don't you choose a movie." alessia chuckled tucking her legs beneath her as you shook your head and dropped the remote into her lap.
"i've already caused havoc on your plans for tonight. watch your game less, please!" you assured, pushing the remote away where she tried to hand it back to you.
"i didn't have many plans for tonight. some cute girl was supposed to cook me dinner but she stupidly locked herself out for a library card." alessia teased softly as you blushed and knocked your knee into hers.
"sounds like a dork." you joked as alessia laughed. "oh the biggest. but she's also like really smart so i guess all those library books paid off!" alessia gasped sarcastically, leaning her head against the back of the lounge staring at you as you did the same.
"what a loser." you tutted as alessia grinned, bright blue eyes boring into yours. "nah she's alright." alessia smiled softly poking your shoulder and pausing for a moment, cogs ticking over for a second before she swallowed all the doubts swirling round her head.
"i quite like her actually, but i don't know if she likes me in the same way." alessia's gaze dropped, fingers tracing patterns absentmindedly into the soft fabric of her lounge as her heart beat thumped in her ears.
when a few moments of silence passed alessia felt her neck grow hot with humilation and prepared herself both for rejection and to deliver a sincere apology if she made you uncomfortable, beating herself up for even saying anything in the first place.
but then you spoke. "i think she likes you in the same way, she's just a bit scared about what that might mean." you admitted quietly, glancing at her to see her head snap up before in turn your gaze dropped downward unable to meet her eyes.
"i wouldn't ever push her to do anything thats not at her pace. because i know she has another little factor to think of, who i also like quite a bit." alessia moved her hand slightly, fingers bumping against yours as neither of you made eye contact.
"that little factor also likes her quite a bit, which is adding to the fear." you admitted, bella quite smitten with her new big blonde playmate who taught her how to make pasta and had feet the size of a small dog in your daughters overactive imagination.
a few more beats of silence passed as both alessia and yourself were caught up in your own heads, fingers grazing one another with a feather light touch.
"you know a very wise five year old told me once that her mum said that sometimes all you need is thirty seconds of confidence to do something scary." alessia started, glancing upward as you did the same, both of you locking eyes and blushing further.
"we don't have to do anything that isn't at your pace. i can stop coming over and being around bella as much if she's getting attached, and if all of this is a bit too much then please you can say no and i won't be upset." alessia promised, your breath catching as slowly her pointer finger bumped yours before gently interlocking with it.
"can i take you on a date? please." alessia finished softly, the question hanging in the air as you now felt your heart beat in your ears and alessia was shocked you couldn't hear her own thumping in her chest.
"yeah, i'd like that less."
~
it was safe to say you did in fact like it, so much so that one date turned to more and a few weeks later you found yourself even more smitten with your now not so new neighbour.
true to her word alessia hadn't put a single ounce of pressure on you to do anything you weren't ready for or comfortable with and that only had you swooning even more at how understanding she was being.
you'd both had the conversation after the first two dates about alessia's ongoing interactions with bella, you making the decision that you'd like her to keep hanging around your daughter for the weekly dinners but not so much to the point bella suspected the pair of you were anything more than friends.
for a five year old your daughter was incredibly perceptive, and having grown up in a semi split family had made her more mature than your average five year old and especially in tune with her emotions.
she knew that you and her dad were friends, and that at one point you'd been a bit more and thats how she came to be.
but the both of you made it your mission to never let her think she wasn't wanted or loved by both of you, and thats why the healthy communication and routine with swapping bella between you was so crucial.
which is why you held alessia at arms length away from bella, your daughter being so in touch with her emotions though mature could sometimes let them get the best of her as five year olds do.
so not wanting to dangle the prospect of a shiny new friend and yanking her away should anything happen with you and alessia meant you took their interactions in your stride, and alessia had been nothing but respectful of that.
which is why it took you by surprise one evening when you were caught in a somewhat compromising position.
with your parents going away for a couple of weeks on a cruise you'd been pestering them to take for years now they were retired, bella was spending the weekend with them before they left mid next week.
the rare night off with both you and alessia having no plans meant you'd gone out for a nice meal together and intended to see a film afterwards, though the london weather had other ideas and with the rain bucketing down you'd ditched the film and grabbed a cab home.
spurred on by a few glasses of wine and some much needed liquid courage you'd all but dragged a soaking wet alessia into your apartment after racing from the cab to your building in the rain.
promising she could use your shower and with the blonde having spent the last month learning her way around your body a few well placed kisses had her now dragging you into the shower with her.
still taking things at your pace nothing happened bar a rather steamy makeout session which turned into you dying of laughter at alessia somehow swallowing a mouthful of water and nearly choking herself to death, which had killed the building mood anyway.
the taller girl stealing a hoodie and finding a pair of her own joggers in your closet the two of you now dried and dressed had curled up together to watch a movie, which ended up in alessia watching you.
"the movies over there russo!" you teased, a slight blush on your cheeks as you caught her staring again and tapped her forehead playfully. "i prefer this film anyway." alessia shrugged with a grin as you rolled your eyes but swooned internally at what you knew she meant.
"you should come to the game sunday, my brothers away travelling so i've got a spare ticket." alessia started softy a few minutes later, her hand warm and comforting as it rested on your knee, her taller body leaned into your side as her legs sprawled off the armrest of the sofa.
"mmm wear an arsenal jersey? i'm just such a die hard liverpool fan-" you started, squealing in surprise as her slender fingers jabbed into your side with a frown of disapproval making you smile and unfurrow her eyebrows with your thumbs.
"will your family be there though?" you asked, the twitch of your hand all alessia needed to sense the apprehension behind the question as she sat up properly and swung her body to face you.
"they would. but you don't need to meet them or anything, or my teammates and friends, i know its a bit soon." alessia assured, grabbing your hands in hers and you softened as she lifted them to her lips and placed gentle kisses against your palm.
neither of you had really started the discussion on what exactly you were.
you were more than neighbors, more than friends, going out on dates but not exactly dating, alessia had wanted to clarify but staying true to her word of not rushing you and just cherishing what time she did have with you meant she hadn't prompted the conversation yet.
"lessi i'm sorry everything has to be so slow and-" you started with a sigh, alessia shaking her head and squeezing your hands in hers to stop you before you'd finished your sentence.
"don't, please. i told you it would all be at your pace and i meant it, so long as i still get to spend time with you thats all that i care about." the striker promised sincerely as you nodded, leaning over to peck her lips a couple of times in a silent thank you.
"such a charmer." you teased softly poking her cheek as she grinned. already missing the feeling of your lips on hers you leaned in again to connect them, catching the taller girl off guard a little as the tone of the kiss shifted.
within a few seconds you found yourself moving to sit on top of her, your knees digging into the sofa either side of her thighs as her hands splayed against your hips and she sighed happily into your mouth with was still pressed against hers.
"what happened to the films over there?" alessia mumbled teasingly against your lips, pulling away to send you a dazzling grin as you shook your head and moved a hand to the back of your neck and drew her in again.
"would you like me to stop and we can finish it then?" you whispered with a smile, laughing as alessia hastily shook her head and tugged on your top connecting your lips again.
"so needy." you mumbled into the kiss, squirming as she pinched you for the comment, using the slight hitch in your breath to slip her tongue into your mouth.
now had you not been so caught up in the all consuming feelings that came with kissing alessia, and had your head not spun when those kisses moved from your lips down to your neck, her face tucking into your collarbone, you might have heard it.
the few rapid knocks which were drowned out by the movie in the background and ignored by both you and alessia who were too busy with one another, too busy to then hear the key turn in the lock and the handle rattle as it opened.
but what you didn't miss was the cry out for mummy and footsteps sprinting toward the sound of the movie in the living room, tumbling backwards off alessia's lap as the blonde clutched for you but it was too late as you landed on your back on the floor with a wheeze.
"mummy!" you grunted as a body joined you, bella hauling herself down on top of you with a grin. "bell. you're back!" you forced out in shock, still trying to catch your breath as your daughter nodded and scrambled off of you.
"big feet!" alessia was next to be jumped on, hugging your daughter with a smile as you sat up and rubbed your back which was throbbing from the fall.
"sorry darling. we did knock!" your head whipped upwards with wide eyes which locked with your own mothers, who judging by the amused smile on her face had assumed something was interrupted.
"i thought she was staying with you until sunday night mum?" you hurried to your feet with a slight wince, bella detaching herself from alessia and sprinting away toward her room.
"she is. but she forgot harvey so of course we had to come back for him, i did also try to call but it would seem you're a bit busy." she smiled and locked eyes now with alessia who blushed.
"mum, alessia. alessia, this is my mum amelia." you introduced them quickly intending to usher the older woman away from the poor bright red striker on your lounge but of course she had other plans.
"alessia. thats a lovely name! i work with an alessia and i hadn't met one before her and now i've met two!" your mother smiled warmly. "its italian, dads side. its lovely to meet you, i live next door we were just..." alessia trailed off, slight panic in her eyes as they met yours.
"hanging out. nice to watch a movie that isn't frozen with someone my own age!" you forced a smile, pushing at your mums shoulders who caught the hint and allowed herself to be lovingly shoved toward the kitchen.
you heard bella return and start yapping away at alessia who nodded along, grinning at the story of how harvey (your daughters best friend and most prized posession) came to be in her care, and you softened with a glance over your shoulder seeing the blonde keenly hanging off her every word completely invested.
"she's quite attractive." you were snapped back to the woman in front of you as your eyes widened and you groaned. "mum!" you hissed as she held up her hands. "just an observation! its nice to see you put yourself out there darling your father and i were-" the woman continued making you sigh.
"-worried i won't be married off before i fall pregnant? so sorry to have done it out of order!" you cut her off with a roll of your eyes. "less and i are just friends. i am allowed adult friendships who you don't know the entire family tree and childhood upbringing of amelia!" you huffed as the woman smiled.
"fair enough. we'll get out of your hair then darling, isabella!" she called out as footsteps thumped away and a body hugged your leg. "got him! now we can all go get ice cream with pop. you and big feet will come right?" her chin rested against your knee as she looked up hopefully and you smiled brushing a few loose strands of hair out of her face.
"not tonight bell. this weekends for you to spend some special time with nan and pop before they go on holidays, because they'll miss you lots and lots but i get to see you every single day. okay?" you explained softly as your daughter frowned a little but nodded and you dropped down to give her a proper hug.
"bye big feet! harvey says bye too." you stood and bella yelled out bye to alessia poking her head through the gap between your legs making the blonde laugh.
"bye bella, bye harvey. lovely to meet you!" alessia waved and you couldn't help but grin as bella made the teddy wave back. "nice to meet you alessia." your mum smiled before you ushered them out the door.
"bell don't run please!" you sighed as the five year old raced off to the elevator.
"you know darling back when i was your age my friends didn't give me little love bites, but i guess thats just a generational change then. have a nice weekend!" your jaw dropped and your hand clapped against your neck but it was too late as the older woman took off, taking your daughters hand and leading her into the elevator as you spun around and headed back inside.
"alessia!"
~
"is everything alright baby? you just don't seem yourself is all." alessia questioned for the second time as you sat on her lounge eating pasta she'd just cooked for the pair of you, bella at her dads for the evening.
your stomach leapt into your throat at the term of endearment and the way it melted so effortlessly off her tongue, the little nicknames weren't anything new only now they came a lot more naturally to the pair of you.
"i'm fine i promise. one of my friends from school is getting married this weekend and i can't go, they're all sending loads of videos and photos and i am happy for them i really am, but i wish i was there." you admitted with a sigh, alessia settling her bowl down on the coffee table and turning to give you her full attention.
"why can't you go?" she questioned carefully with a small frown, one hand holding her head up as it rested against the back of the lounge and the other tracing circles on your knee.
"well its an adults only wedding which makes complete sense, and i planned to go originally just for the ceremony and have bella sat for the weekend. but my parents are still away, bens going away on a work trip this weekend and i can't ask him to not go, his parents are sick, his brothers out of town and all of my friends are headed off to the wedding if they're not already down there for the week." you explained with a small smile, picking at your pasta as your eyes were trained down to the bowl.
alessia didn't think before she spoke, but before she could pause to take a minute the words were already spilling out of her mouth.
"i could watch bella for the weekend?"
your eyes snapped upward at that, halting the pushing around of the bowl of pasta in your lap. "less i can't ask you to do that." you shook your head declining right away.
"you're not asking, i'm offering. you deserve a nice weekend away with your friends and weddings don't happen every day! i can tell you were looking forward to it." alessia assured as you sighed, moving your bowl onto the coffee table beside hers.
"less, baby really this is such a sweet offer but its not like dog sitting, having a five year old for a few hours is a huge challenge let alone a few days." you tried to put it as gently as you could but it didn't seem to deter the blonde in the slightest.
"i've babysat before and i've got little cousins. i know thats not the same but i pay attention, ask me anything about bella and i bet i could tell you!" the striker challenged, hand removed from your leg as she waved for you to start.
"alessia-" "go on babe, anything!"
knowing how stubborn the tall blonde could be you decided to placate her wishes with a sigh and a shake of your head as she crossed her arms against her chest and raised an eyebrow in waiting.
"bed time?" "eight on weekdays, eight thirty on weekends or if she's been at her dads or your parents because she needs time to settle down before she can sleep but never later than nine especially on a school night."
"night routine?" "it tires her out to help with making dinner or keeping herself occupied with something that isn't just tv before she eats. but dinner first and at the table, one episode of something, bath, her cup of tea which is really just warm milk with a spoon of honey in it, book, bed."
"favourite foods?" "anything with carbs, nothing thats orange, no soda's from a can but its fine from the soda stream. she'll eat broccoli if the stalks trimmed but not if it isn't, she will only eat peas if they're seperate from everything else on her plate. she smothers everything in tomato sauce so you have to pour it for her or else she drowns the meal, she claims not to like cheese but if you hide it in something she doesn't notice."
alessia grinned happily at the look of shock and surprise which you made no move to hide at her answers, nailing every single one as she waved for you to continue and your eyes narrowed slightly.
"allergies?" "latex and peanuts, there’s an epipen in bella’s backpack and in your cupboard under the sink and in the bathroom vanity just in case. she doesn't have asthma but you carry a puffer around because when the seasons change and the airs a bit full of dust or pollen she can get random coughing fits."
your eyebrows shot up again as alessia's grin softened into a smile, reaching out for your hands in her own.
"i also know first aid, cpr, all the emergency numbers, you keep your parents numbers and bens parents numbers on a little card on the fridge. i know that the easiest way to calm her down if she's having big feelings is to rationalize them but not patronize her because she likes to feel cared for but she's quite independent. the easiest way to get her to eat if she claims she isn't hungry is to feed the monster in her tummy who she's called frankie, she cannot go anywhere without harvey and she always sleeps in one of your shirts even though she has pyjamas of her own." alessia rattled off flawlessly without missing a beat as you sat shell shocked into silence.
"how did you-" "i told you, i pay attention." alessia promised with a soft smile, squeezing your hands as her rings felt cold against your warm skin. "i know this is a lot but your friends babysit her too right? we're...friends. it wouldn't need to be anything more than that to her." alessia spoke a little more unsure now as you nodded to reassure her she was right.
"well you're very impressive superstar, just…give me a day to think it all over."
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outsideratheart · 2 months
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A Night To Forget (Leah Williamson x reader)
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A/N: What a shit show that game was. What were they doing? They do know it was a must win in the title race right?
The tackle in this fic was based off this video.
Leah knew that she played a big part in Arsenal’s shocking performance. Never did she think she would let her frustrations take over in the way that they did. 
You were having a near perfect game with scoring the opener and assisting the other two goals. Arsenal were playing into your hands and they were making it easy for you to dance around the pitch. 
It was near the end of the game when the away team was beginning to get sloppy with their tackles. 
Erin had played you a lovely through ball and you were off. You saw Leah running at you but even she knew she wouldn’t be able to match your pace if you got free. It’s what lead her to doing what she did. 
As she stuck her foot in she missed the ball completely and her studs connected with the inside of your knee. You were on the floor in agony within seconds. 
“What was that!” Erin shoves Leah backwards, far away from you. 
“I didn’t—it was an accident” 
“Bullshit” the Scottish woman was furious. 
Meanwhile you laid on the floor clutching your knee. You didn’t hear a pop but you can’t lie and say the three letters weren’t floating around in your head. 
“Speak to us Y/N” one of the physios told you. 
“ACL?” It was a question that you dreaded the answer to. 
Leah heard you say the three letters and she thought that meant that was the diagnosis and it made her feel sick. The referee had given her the red card but she refused to leave the pitch, not until you had. 
“I didn’t mean to Lia” your girlfriend tried to get closer to you but this time it was her team mate who pulled her back. 
“Give her space” Wally hated to admit it but the tackle was bad and she wasn’t sure what your reaction would be to seeing the blonde. 
The physios removed your hand from your knee so they could access the injury. When you saw your hand it was covered in blood. Clearly the studs have cut you and from the amount of blood it must have been bad. 
“We don’t think it’s your ACL. We need to stitch you up so you obviously can’t continue” 
“I’m not getting on a stretcher, no way” 
The two physios look at each other, shake their heads and laugh a little. They knew full well that you wouldn’t get on a stretcher if you could walk. 
“We know but you will let us help you” you nod your head. Guro, who remained by your side, helped you up and took the place of one of the physios. 
You see Leah and it’s enough to make your blood boil. 
“Y/N. I didn’t—“ 
“Stay away from me Williamson” it was as impersonal as it could be and you meant every word. Leah was the last person you want to see right now. 
“Please I—“ 
Again she was cut off but this time by the Norwegian. 
“No! You heard her. Stay away” 
Leah stopped in her tracks. You never let anyone talk to her like that. That is until this moment.
Millie was waiting for you at the sidelines and the look she gave Leah was one of disappointment. Never in her mind would your girlfriend do anything like this to you. She was your biggest protector but tonight it was her you needed protecting from. 
The full time whistle is blown and the member of staff that had been sat with Leah tells her she can go back out. She lingers at the door to the Chelsea locker room where she he hears you laughing with Sam, Millie and Guro who must have been subbed off. She is in two minds whether or not to knock. She knew she wanted to see you but did you want to see her? If your previous reaction was any indication then the answer was no. 
Leah was doing her lap and was just near the end of the away stand when she heard the stadium break out into cheers. When she looked around to see what was the cause was, she saw you. She saw you walking near the home bench wearing a black compression sleeve and a matching knee brace. Millie was carrying a pair of crutches but laid them on the bench. 
You were injured. Leah didn’t know what the damage was but she knew that you were hurt. She also knew by the looks on your friends’ face that she wouldn’t get close to you right now. 
It was a hard thing to process for you. You tried to masque your hurt with a grin but it wasn’t very believable. You wanted to celebrate with your team, this win was huge, but your mind was elsewhere. 
“She didn’t mean to” Sam, of all people, came to Leah’s defence. 
“And that means I can’t be mad? You saw the replays, she could have ended by career with that tackle” you didn’t know what to feel, you didn’t know how you should feel. 
“But she didn’t” 
“Why are you defending her!” You covered your mouth in case a microphone and camera on you. 
“Because no one else will and you know it” Sam really was trying to do the right thing but maybe it was wrong of her. 
“Well then she shouldn’t have done it” your response was scarily calm. 
The girls in red stayed clear of you and rightly so. It was only Alessia that was brave enough to come to you. 
“You’re very annoying to play against. Good game tonight, you deserved to win this one” her genuine words earned her a smile. 
“Thanks Less” you pulled her in for a quick hug as you walked down the tunnel together. 
“Is it bad?” She wasn’t sure if she wanted the answer “Leah was asking about you” 
“Well you can tell Leah that I don’t know the severity of the injury she caused” 
“But it’s not, you know….” the forward daren’t speak the words that had now rivalled the Macbeth superstition. 
“No. I needed stitches and the brace is because the two cuts are on the joint. It’s so I don’t reopen them” 
Leah looked up at the sound of Alessia entering the locker room. She saw you through the gap, immediately stood up and started walking towards you. 
“Y/N” she begs you to look at her. 
“Thanks for checking in Less. I’ll see you at home” you didn’t address Leah but you did look at her. She wasn’t sure if that was a good thing though because there was a numbness in your gaze. 
She waited and waited in your shared apartment. Hours passed and she was close to giving up, she thought that you must have changed your mind. Could she have blamed you if you had? 
Leah blew out the candle, your favourite one, and turned off the lamp. Just as she got into bed she heard the front door open and close. She was on her feet in a flash and running towards you. 
“Y/N. I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry” 
“What were you thinking? It was sloppy, dangerous and unnecessary” 
“I needed to stop you. I hadn’t been able to stop you all game” 
That was her defence and you found it pathetic. 
“You played terribly Leah. I won’t stand here and sugarcoat things. You made mistakes but this wasn’t one of them. You knew exactly what you were doing when you came flying in” 
“I didn’t. I swear I didn’t. I—” Leah pauses for a moment. She didn’t mean to hurt you but she also couldn’t know for sure if her subconscious wanted to stop you by any means. 
“You didn’t mean to hurt me but you knew the tackle was reckless and it could end badly yet you did it anyway” 
When you put it that way Leah found herself agreeing with you. 
“I love you Leah but I have every right to be mad at you. You can’t dismiss my feelings“
That wasn’t Leah’s intention but she knew that was what she was doing. 
“I’m not. I mean I won’t. Do you want space from me? I can sleep on the sofa or even go to one of the girls’ houses” Leah was ready to give you your space if that is what you wanted. 
“No, I don’t want that. I just want to be mad for a little bit but I can do that with you in bed beside me” 
Leah found herself smiling. She was in trouble, big trouble, but you were going to forgive her. 
“Don’t be surprised if I punch you in my sleep. Dream me might want revenge. Now carry me to bed. I don’t know how you put up with this thing. It’s so annoying” 
Just when Leah began to forget about what happened, you remind her. To be fair the black brace was very bulky and hard to ignore. 
“How bad is it Y/N? Tell me the truth, please” Leah carried you bridal style whilst waiting for the verdict. 
“8 stitches and I have to wear the brace while they heal” you told her everything that you knew. 
Leah laid you down gently on the bed and her fingers lingered on the velcro of the brace. You knew what she was asking without her having to open her mouth. You lean forward and undo the straps. Gently you pull the compression sleeve down, revealing the ugliness of the injury. 
Your girlfriend gasps and takes a step back. She hurt you, she hurt you really bad. When you first started dating she made a promise to never be the reason for your pain, only for your happiness. She broke that promise tonight at Stamford bridge. 
“I have a hospital appointment for scans tomorrow morning. They don’t think there’s any serious damage” 
“I’ll take you” Leah tells you. 
“Damn right you will Williamson. I am clearly in no shape to drive” 
“Please don’t call me that” you could have sworn you saw Leah shrink in size “Call me Leah if you have to, but not Williamson” 
Here’s the thing. Leah loved nicknames and you called her plenty of them. Each had a different meaning and you used them in different scenarios. It’s why this struck her so deeply. 
“Leah” you wait until she is looking at you “come to bed” 
The blonde does as told but she does it goes so gingerly. You were fragile in her eyes and no way was she going to hurt you more. 
That night the two of the slept poorly. That is until you pull Leah into your arms. You tried your best to forget about the incident because you knew Leah blamed herself for the loss. In this specific moment she simply needed to be held by her girlfriend. 
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awfcspencer · 2 months
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Anniversary Night || leah williamson x reader
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prompt: Leah wouldn’t forget your anniversary right?
warnings: angst
a/n: this spent so long in the drafts so I figured I'd post it
Every second that passed felt like an hour. The sun had been high in the sky when you began baking the chocolate cake for tonight, but now the sun had dipped below the horizon, and it was beginning to get late. 
The extravagant dinner you had spent hours watching tutorials on and carefully following the recipe to its exact details had gone cold. It was Leah’s favorite dish her mother used to make during her childhood, and you enlisted Amanda’s help to properly prepare the dish for your third anniversary with the blonde tonight. She guided you through each step and even went alongside you to the market to get the ingredients. It sat untouched in the middle of the table that you decorated with tiny hearts and rose petals. 
The candles you lit minutes before Leah was supposed to arrive had burnt out and the flowers you had set on the table were lacking water as the night grew on. The vinyl you had put on in the background had long ended and left your shared home silent. It was quiet and you were alone.
The time you had spent perfecting your makeup and slipping into a tight black dress that you had been hiding in the back of your shared closet just for tonight was now a waste. The time you had spent decorating the kitchen and bedroom was now all for nothing seeming as it was entering midnight, and it would no longer be the special day. The time you spent using the icing bag to carefully etch ‘Happy Anniversary’ into Leah’s favorite kind of cake was useless. You would never get that time back.
You had tried to ring Leah several times throughout the night, desperately wondering when she was due to return home from training after she did not walk through your shared home at the normal time. Each time you called her it went to voicemail. As each hour ticked by, your smile seemed to fade and your patience began to wither, but most importantly, your heart was shattered. What was initially supposed to be a romantic evening had ended up a big disappointment and the hope of spending time with Leah had disappeared. On the fourth time you tried to reach Leah and were met with her voicemail once again sent your phone crashing into the nearest wall. 
You weren’t woken up exactly as the clock striked midnight and showered with kisses like the first anniversary.
You weren’t given breakfast in bed and spent the day in Leah’s warm embrace until the middle of the afternoon like the second anniversary. 
Instead you woke up to a cold, empty bed. Not a single text or note from Leah. Not even a kiss goodbye and a promise to return home soon.
Something in your brain allowed you to brush it off though. That should have been your first red flag. Leah always made you feel the most special girl in the world, surely she couldn’t have forgotten such an important day. 
Three years ago, Leah had asked you to be her girlfriend after several small dates and continuous messaging. You met the blonde in a low-key bar just on the outskirts of North London and she quickly captured your heart with her charming and compassionate personality. Today marked three years of loving Leah and three years of Leah loving you. 
So instead of dwelling in the fact the morning hadn’t been exactly what you pictured, you were sure that Leah would make up for it in the night.
You knew that Leah had thrown herself into hours of rehabilitation and countless physio meetings to help her desperate bid to return to the pitch. Sitting out during Arsenal games and being dropped from the England squad had taken a great toll on the defender. You supported her every step of the way, even when it meant she did not return home until late and left before you awoke the next day. But you figured she would be home on time tonight. You figured she would be home on a special occasion like tonight. But unfortunately, you were incredibly wrong. 
You quickly place the uneaten food and cake in the fridge to hopefully preserve them so you could possibly eat them tomorrow. You were met with the mini calendar that was located on the fridge to remind you and Leah of appointment, matches, or meetings. The single date had been outlined in a large red heart since entering the month. You wanted to rip the whole thing off the fridge and tear it in a million pieces, as a way to represent how your heart felt.
Tears welled up in your eyes, blurring your vision as you struggled to make sense of it all. How could she have forgotten? How could she have let something so important slip through the cracks of her mind? Tears fell from your eyes non-stop, ruining the pretty mascara you had done as it ran down the sides of your cheeks. With just a few minutes until midnight, you couldn’t help prevent your heart from feeling hurt, especially when it was still radio silent from Leah.
You wanted the black dress off. You wanted to take the makeup off. You wanted to tear down every decoration you had put up and throw it in the trash. Instead settling with a quick shower that did not aid in your severed heart and clouded brain. When the time came to enter your shared bed, you couldn’t bring yourself to be suffocated with the defender’s magnetic scent and the thought that she was out somewhere on your anniversary instead of with you. You snatched the comforter off and a pillow and slept on the couch. 
---
After another grueling day of rehabilitation followed by a team night out to celebrate the upcoming matches, Leah’s muscles and body ached with exhaustion. But as Leah stepped through the door of your shared home, her heart sank like a stone as she caught sight of the large ‘Happy Anniversary’ banner and the countless related decorations scattered around the house. The worst image of all was you sound asleep on the couch with red puffy eyes. 
Today was supposed to be a special day and Leah had forgotten all about it. You heard her enter the home nearly a quarter till 2 A.M. Your anniversary was long over. She seemed tired, most likely from how hard she had been pushing herself in the gym and in training. All that work to get back onto the pitch, to get off the sidelines, not knowing she was sidelining something else, the relationship you thought she valued as much as you did.
“You forgot, didn’t you?” you finally spoke, your voice hardly above a whisper but filled with accusation. You couldn’t meet the defender’s eyes, the hurt in your heart didn’t allow it. 
Leah’s head snapped up, guilt flashing across her features before she could mask it. Leah sighed heavily, running a hand through her hair, “I’ve been so busy with rehab and training… I guess it slipped my mind,” she admitted, her voice barely audible at the guilt she felt inside.
“Slipped your mind? Slipped. Your. Mind.” You couldn’t help but laugh.
A wave of hurt washed over you as you struggled to hold back tears. “I can’t believe you forgot our anniversary,” you whispered, feeling a lump form in your throat. You couldn’t shake the feeling of loneliness that gnawed at your heart.
Leah reached out tentatively, her hand hovering in the air before she pulled back, as if she was unsure whether she was welcome to touch you. “I’m sorry, I really am,” she said softly, her eyes pleading for forgiveness.
“It’s not just about today,” you choked out, your voice trembling with pent-up emotions. “It’s about feeling like I am not a priority in your life anymore.” She had been so focused on getting back on the pitch that she cut you so deeply in the process. How could she forget?
Leah’s shoulders slumped, her heart aching at the pain she had caused you. “You are a priority, you always have been,” she insisted, her voice think with emotion and guilt. “I’ve just been so focused on rehab. I didn’t realize how much it was affecting us.”
Tears welled in your eyes as you looked at her, torn between wanting to forgive her and wanting her to understand just how much she had hurt you. “I miss us,” you admitted. The weight of your words hung heavy in the air, but you couldn’t bring yourself to soften your face at the excuses she continued to usher out.
Leah’s heart clenched at your words, a pang of regret coursing through her. “I miss us too. I promise I’ll make it up to you, I’ll do whatever it takes to fix this.” Anger bubbled up inside you, fueled by the recent weeks of feeling neglected and ignored. 
You nodded slowly, feeling a glimmer of hope flicker within in. “I want to believe you, really I do. But what about me? What about what I need?”
Leah’s gaze dropped to the floor, unable to meet your eyes. “I’m trying, I really am. But it’s not easy.” The blonde’s expression crumbled, her eyes filled with a mixture of pain and regret.
Your eyes stung as the tears feel freely, you heart aching with a pain that seemed to have no end. “I don’t know if I can do this anymore.”
The words hung between you like a chasm, a stark reminder of the divide that had grown between you and the defender. As the silence stretched on, you knew something needed to change. Whether that change would bring you closer together or tear you apart.
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woso-soso · 2 months
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Mummy Dearest
Summary: Your emotions finally boil over while Leah is away.
Word Count: 1,962
I would love to talk to you all so please shoot a message my way letting me know what you think!
I have not proofread yet, please let me know of any major mistakes but I will go back tomorrow and fix anything then!
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You hadn’t expected to be in this position, backed into the corner of your kitchen. Your head hung low as you tried to block out the crying that echoed in the house. You loved the little girl that was sitting on the floor, tears streaming down her face, the toys she had been playing with grasped tightly in her hands. 
Today had been the last of five days home alone without Leah. Leah who could cuddle and entertain your daughter Posie like no tomorrow. Leah who had been able to convince you having a baby was the right thing, she was out on injury at the time when you started the process. With a world of luck you’d gotten pregnant almost right away, but the pregnancy wasn’t easy. You had had hyperemesis gravidarum throughout your whole pregnancy, leaving you exhausted and wanting nothing more than for it to end. But, finally when it did you felt nothing towards Posie. There had been no rush of love, no overwhelming urge to care for her. Something Leah had instantly felt, and you knew she could see you didn’t. The look of disappointment that would cross her face every time the nurses tried to help you feed Posie with no success, everytime you never quite looked into her blue eyes, the eyes that matched Leah’s. 
That had been nine months ago, and now while yes you love your daughter and you care for her you still don’t have the connection she has with Leah. Leah, the woman the small baby is crying for. Her shouts for Mama ringing in your head as you do everything you can to not blow up on the small innocent child in front of you. 
Your small innocent child. 
The first few days Leah had been gone, away with Arsenal at winter training; had gone okay. Posie was content with FaceTime calls and cuddling with Mummy, but as the days went on she began to push away from you. Clinging more and more to the FaceTime calls you were able to do. But today was different, there had been no morning FaceTime call as Leah was set to return home. But that had pushed Posie over the edge. She had been inconsolable as you tried to get her to eat her breakfast, and refused to be held. This led you to let her crawl on the floor, wanting nothing more than for her to stop screaming. And it had worked for a while, she had sat content on the kitchen floor playing with the toys you had brought in for her while you worked at the dining table. Always being sure to keep her in your line of sight. But then noon came and went, the normal lunch time FaceTime hadn’t happened and Posie was running on no food and very little sleep.
When the first waves of tears came you did everything you could to help, instantly going to try and cuddle her but you had been instantly met with her small hands hitting at your arms and chest. Her want to be held, being reserved for Leah. Sure it hurt to know your own baby wasn’t wanting you but all you could do at that point was try and help her through it. Eventually her tiny hands stopped as she sagged into you, still not taking food but was at least calm and quiet. Well, she had been until your phone rang, her face perking up at the thought  of her Mama being on the other end. So when you had to decline the call from your brother you knew it would set her off again. A fresh batch of tears and hitting started as soon as the call went to voicemail. Eventually all you could think to do was to set her back down, trying to hand her any toy you could find hoping one of them would calm her enough to stop crying. But nothing worked, her screams kept getting louder as tears formed in your eyes. You cover your ears as you tuck yourself into the corner, turning away from the red tear stained face of your daughter.
You had been trying so hard the past few months to bond with Posie but the feelings just aren't the same as what Leah and Posie have, and Leah had been hesitant to leave the two of you alone together for longer than a day or two. Something that tore at your heart even though you would never tell her that. But now, with the way you're crying and your baby is screaming out for her other mother, you're starting to think her worries had been fair. 
All it took was one more extremely high pitched scream for you to turn towards Posie, tears streaming down your face. “I KNOW I’M NOT MAMA,” the dead silence that followed doing nothing to calm your nerves as your bright blue eyed baby stares back at you, her own tears still flowing down her face. The click of the front door shutting is the thing that snaps you back to reality. The sound of Leah's bag hitting the floor, her sneak clad feet padding against the floor as she rushes towards the screaming. 
“What in god's name is going on?” Her question is left unanswered as she stares between the two of you. You're sure you look like a wreck, hair thrown up in a haphazard bun, tear stained sweatshirt, your face puffy and red from crying. 
“MAMA,” Leah tears her eyes away from you at the sound of Posie’s scream. Instantly bending down to collect her in her arms. The baby instantly calms as Leah starts to sway her back and forward, wiping at her face to attempt and dry some of her tears. 
You sink into yourself as you watch the two, you know you aren’t Posies main person but you hadn’t ever thought it would be this bad. You had been trying really trying, and the bond just wasn’t there. Knowing now that this will just confirm to Leah that you can’t be left alone with your daughter. The daughter that clearly doesn’t want to be left alone with you, a fresh wave of tears start forming in your eyes as you stare at the floor. The soft whispers of Leah talking to Posie being the only sound in the now very quiet flat. 
“Y/N,” Leah says, breaking you from the trance you had been in. “What happened?” 
“I don’t know Leah,” You choke out, tears threatening to spill over at any moment. 
“Well,” She starts shifting Posie to a more comfortable position. “You must have some kind of idea, she doesn’t get like this for no reason.” 
“But she did,” You protest. “She had been until today, we were fine. I thought maybe we were finally bonding some, then the FaceTime call didn’t come and she refused to eat or be held by me. All she wants is you, I can’t change that.” The tightness in your chest grows as you try and defend yourself against a fight that hasn’t even happened. “She loves you more Leah, that's all that happened, I failed as her mother and she only wants you.” You don’t even give the blond a chance to respond before pushing yourself away from the counter, rushing past her towards your bedroom needing the peace and comfort of your own bed. 
------------------------------
You don’t know how long you had been alone in your room, you could hear Leah moving around in the flat most likely getting Posie something to eat. Your tears had stopped a while ago, but the empty feeling that now settled into your chest was a new kind of pain you haven't experienced before. 
“Y/N,” Leah whispers as the door creaks open. “Y/N I know you’re awake, can we talk please.” 
You had planned to stay quiet, the excitement you had once had at the idea of Leah being home was now gone. 
“MumMum,” the shortened nickname for you breaking you slightly. Posie hadn’t so much as mumbled your nickname in weeks, normally going for Mama any chance she could. “MumMum.” 
“I know baby Mummy is having a hard time,” Leah whispers just loud enough for you to hear. “Do you want to give Mummy a cuddle?” Before you have a chance to deny them Leah has already climbed into the bed behind you, setting Posie down in between the two of you. Posies small hands grasping onto your arm as she pulls herself up. Her eyes locked onto your unmoving form. 
“MumMum,” she gurgles out. 
“Leah,” You breath out. “Please.” 
“Y/N, we need to talk, and Posie needs a cuddle from her Mummy.” Leah's words don’t do much to move you. To you they feel like no more than a performance. Why would Posie want you with Leah right there?
“No she doesn’t,” is all you mutter out. Rolling over slightly to look at Leah, her tight lipped smile not quite reaching her eyes. Posie taking this moment with your guard down to clamber onto your stomach, laying her head on your chest. The moment felt sweet and it would have been had you not been feeling so crap about your parenting skills. 
“I beg to differ.” Leah says brushing hairs away from your face. “Now, what's going through your head?”
“I just,” you sigh, running your hand up and down Posies back. “I thought that this week was going fine, but as soon as she couldn’t see you she flipped a switch. It felt like all the progress we had made wasn’t actually progress; it was her tolerating me in between seeing you. I know I’ve struggled to connect with her. I know I haven't been the best Mum but I’m trying and to have her reject me all morning simply cause she hadn’t seen you cemented that I’m nothing more then the Mum there when her Mama isn’t. I know you were worried about me being alone with her for so long and for you to walk into that….” You drift off, not quite sure how to finish what you were thinking. 
“Y/N,” Leah sighs. “Do you think I don’t trust you with her?” 
“I mean Leah, when you walk in to me screaming at her and her in tears, the fact that you expressed worry about being gone, the fact that if you have to go away for more than a few days she usually goes with you and your mom. I know you say it's so I don’t have to worry about her while working but I know it's because you don’t trust me alone with her.” Your tone is expressionless as you stare at her, the fight in you gone. 
“Y/N, I’m sorry I’ve made you feel that way. I trust you with Posie, I’m sorry it had to come to this for you to be able to tell me.” Leah's tone is soft as she places her hand on top of yours. 
“It’s fine,” you sigh, laying your head back against your pillow. “I think I need to talk to someone though, I’m worried I’m the issue between me and Posie.” 
“You can talk to someone, we can find you someone my love.” Leah whispers as she lays down next to you, cuddling into your side. Her head resting on your shoulder as the room slowly grows dark. Posies soft snores being the only noise you can hear as she sleeps against your chest. Leah quickly drifts to sleep, her own snores joining Posies. 
You however stay wide awake, your thoughts racing a mile a minute in your mind. Peace being something you haven't felt in a long time.l
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sporadicbeans82 · 1 month
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Reader’s dad has really high standards for her like impossibly high for just a 16 year old, and she overworks herself to the point she passes out and all the girls are really concerned and she’s just like no i have to keep going i have to be better i have to be enough and then they all press her for more info and then when she eventually tells them about how she’s feeling they all comfort her and tell her playing pro soccer at that young is amazing and that she’s enough]” Barcelona Femini (mainly Alexia Putellas) or Arsenal WFC
You 100% do not need to write this just would love to see your talented writing skills give this a shot🫶
Enough || Barcelona Femení x Reader
Warnings: Mentions of death, toxic family relationships, lack of self care from reader, Swearing (probably?)
Word count: 4.3k words
A/N: I lied, this was next. Feel free to make more requests. I hope that this is alright, anon! I kind of strayed from the plot.
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“You should have scored more, you didn’t try hard enough,” Your father’s voice was flat, the comments made offhandedly as if he were talking about what you were having for dinner. As if he weren’t stabbing you in the back with his words, the comment digging deeper and deeper and cracking your heart open. “That header was yours, you disappointed your team by letting that one go.” 
Growing up, you’d always dreamed of playing professional soccer, and so your parents had supported your dreams. They drove you to each of your games and training, and helped pay for you to go to an academy. They helped you get to your national camps, made and packed nutritious food for you, and supported you in each and every way that they could.
You stuck to your dreams and overcame so many challenges to get to where you were. You’d learned from the best, had run into injuries, had laughed with friends and had lost those friends as they’d given up the dreams that all of you had had. You’d thought about giving up, too, especially when your mother had been diagnosed with cancer.
She’d fought tooth and nail to stay alive, working hard to still help you become the best player that you could. She continued to support you with your father, up until the point where she was far too weak to continue doing so. She’d gone to every single one of your games, even when she felt sick or like she didn’t have the energy, and for that you were determined to make it worth it for her. Little did you know that watching you was your mother’s greatest pride, and she would not allow her sickness to keep her from supporting you.
And so you stuck to the sport, even when your friends did not, and it had all paid off in the end. In the summer, you’d signed for Barcelona Femení, the day after your sixteenth birthday. Your mother was there for your signing, beside your father. That day, she promised you that she would watch your first game with Barcelona no matter what.
She hadn’t made it that long, dying only a few days later. You’d taken the loss hard, but it was your father who had taken it the hardest. Your father had hardened in ways that you hadn’t anticipated, becoming cruel and harsh. He seemed to have given up hope, the bags beneath his eyes dark and puffy. 
He was a shell on the man that he’d once been, and it showed in the way he now treated you. After the loss of your mother, he’d drawn into himself and away from you, and you found yourself so much lonelier than you had ever been.
The team had been there for you, allowing you to take time off and letting you know that they had psychologists and people to talk to if you had needed it. It took you a week to return.
When you were finally mentally ready to move on and begin participating in training sessions, it was now your captain, Alexia Putellas, who drove you to practices. 
Your father no longer attended your matches, no longer worked hard to ensure that you got all the support that you deserved. Instead, he sat at home and mourned the loss of your mother. The truth was, you were both hurting, but you had to be strong in hopes that your father would soon bounce back.
He never did.
You hadn’t told any of your teammates, but the stress of the situation was getting to you. It showed in your performance and the way you trained in all of the worst ways. You were exhausted, emotionally and also physically as you had troubles sleeping at night. You wanted a hug from your mom, wished that she was there to tell you that everything would be alright.
But she wasn’t there, which was the entire problem, and she would never be able to do that again. 
And so things continued as they were for several months. The pressure grew onto you, far too much for your young shoulders to carry on their own, but you forced yourself to remain strong. You worked harder than you ever had in your life, attempting to be enough for your father and to try to make your mother proud as you’d promised her. 
Foolishly, you dreamed at night that you could bring your father out of the deep pit of depression he’d fallen into. Maybe, if you tried hard enough, he’d realize that you really were good at soccer. Maybe he’d wake up and realize that you needed him still, but the truth was that a part of him had died when your mother had, and you would never be getting him back. 
You’d basically forced him to come to your match, begging him for weeks on end to come to at least one. Ironically, it was the first time you were being trusted to start for your team as well. It was supposed to be a special match, commemorating everything that you and your parents had ever worked for.
You’d hoped that he would come out of his shell if he returned to a little bit of his old life. You’d been wrong, as the second you’d stepped into his car, he was throwing insults and critiques at you. 
He was nothing of the man you’d grown up with, and it hurt you like no other pain you’d felt in your life. Even breaking two bones in your leg at thirteen didn’t compare to the pain in your chest, hollowed out by month after month of loneliness and pain. You felt like your heart, once full of love, had been scraped empty of any positive emotion that it had once felt, and your father held the scalpel. 
You tried arduously to tune your father out, trying to focus on the positives of the match as your father drove. 
You’d won the game!
“You relied on the other defenders far too much to cover for your careless mistakes.”
You’d made an amazing tackle on a player who had skirted past Ingrid Engen! It had earned you a shower of applause from the watching fans and a proud peck to your forehead from Ingrid herself!
“You were too slow, you need to be faster, like Batlle.”
Alexia had told you that she was proud of you!
“You aren’t good enough for this team, God knows why they chose you.”
You weren’t aware of the tears which fell down your cheeks, and your father ignored them. You didn’t know why he was so intent on breaking you down after years spent building you up. You missed how life was before.
You missed your mom.
As your father pulled into the driveway of your childhood home, you hopped out. Before a sob could break free of your quivering lips, you were bounding up the steps to your room and closing the door behind you. You flopped down on the bed, all of the emotions which had bubbled beneath the surface coming out in ugly, whiny gasps and cries. 
Your heart burned, as if scorched. You had never felt so empty, so dark, and so lonely. You wanted someone to hold you, and you didn’t know who to turn to anymore. You cried yourself to sleep, although you only managed to get a few meager hours of sleep before you were awoken by some recurring nightmare.
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You barely managed to drag yourself to training, exhausted. The dark bags beneath your eyes stood out starkly against your pale skin. You were dressed in a jumper and sweatpants, both of which used to be an appropriate size but which now hung off of your tired frame. 
As Alexia picked you up, she noted your exhaustion with a small frown. 
“Hola, chiqui. Estás bien?” Her voice held a certain concern which was almost enough to break down your walls. You yearned so badly for a sense of comfort, and the which Alexia looked seemed to offer that.
You forced yourself to turn towards the window, not wanting to break down in front of your captain. Your father’s words from the past few months wore heavy on your mind. You were a disappointment and a burden, and you didn’t want Alexia to tell Jona that the team didn’t need you and decide to release you. You wanted to be enough, and you had promised yourself every night that you would be better, you just needed a little bit more time. 
Alexia frowned harsher, nearly locking the car and forcing you to talk to her, but deciding against it. She didn’t want to push you, but she’d noticed that you weren’t okay for a while. 
She’d taken note of the way you always did extra laps and repetitions of each of their workouts. She watched you participate in extra opportunities to practice penalties and how you stood behind after each training for at least an hour to do more work. She knew you were exhausting yourself, could see it in the way you could barely stand. 
She didn’t understand why you pushed yourself so hard, given how good you were. She tried to give you advice, to compliment you whenever she could and saw how you absolutely beamed under any sort of praise or compliment, as though you didn’t get it enough. 
Over the last few months, she’d taken on almost a mentoring role to you. You looked up to her, and she could see how you held each of your teammates in such high regard. For whatever reason, however, it just didn’t seem to stick in your mind that you were of the same caliber as each excellent athlete within the team. 
As she watched you turn away from her, she realized she would need to confront you soon. It was obvious that you weren’t taking care of yourself, but she didn’t want to do it now, not when you were blocking her out as hard as you could. She would need backup, probably from the other captains of the team, and made a promise to herself that she would do it later that day.
Instead of confronting you like she yearned to do, she stayed quiet and allowed you your peace. She watched as, ever so slowly, your shoulders sagged and your body untensed. You’d fallen asleep, and Alexia turned the music down a little bit to try to make the atmosphere easy to sleep in. 
Alexia noticed how the harsh lines in your face relaxed as you slept. You looked more peaceful than she’d ever seen you. She hated that she had to wake you up as the two of you arrived at the training center. 
She parked as gently as she could before reaching over and gently shaking you awake. You groaned as she did so, almost turning away in such a careless, teenage way that Alexia had never seen you do. You always seemed so much more grown up than you were supposed to be, even more so than Claudia or Pina or Vicky, all of whom were older than you. 
“‘M not ready yet, Mom.” You rumbled, and Alexia froze, the frown on her face deepening. She’d tried to be there for you, having lost her own parental figure in her father. She knew the pain that you felt all too well.
 So not to be mistaken for the woman who you’d just lost, Alexia spoke up this time as she shook at you again.
“Despiértate, nena. We are here.” You startled awake, the barriers which had dropped as you slept appearing once more as your face tightened again, a frown set upon your face which mirrored Alexia’s.
You thanked her quietly before climbing out of the car, purposefully walking ahead of Alexia so that she couldn’t ask you any questions about your slip up.
You entered the locker room near-silently, the hood of your jumper up to cover the vast majority of your face. You ignored the looks you got from each of your teammates in favor of quickly getting dressed for training.
As you went to tie your shoes, you realized you were, yet again, crying.
You’re too emotional. Words of your fathers’. Your teammates wouldn’t like you if you showed emotion in front of them. You pushed the fabric of your sleeve against your cheeks, leaving red marks behind with how harshly you rubbed at the salty tears. 
Then, to try to remain inconspicuous, you bent over to tug your shoes on to your feet. You thought you were successful, but hadn’t anticipated how much you’d struggle with your laces. Your exhaustion mixed with your lack of breakfast had caused your hands to shake.
Each time you’d try to make a loop, your quaking fingers would pull too hard or drop the lace altogether. 
All of your teammates noticed your struggle, but it was Paños who stepped in. The older woman knelt down at your feet, hands wrapping around your own and holding them for just a second. Her eyes looked up into yours, noting the tear stains on your cheeks and giving you a comforting smile. 
Then, she refocused on your shoes and began to tie them for you. The rest of your teammates watched on anxiously, although they continued to prepare for training and tried not to stare. The truth was, everyone could see that something was going on with you and that you weren’t okay, but they were scared to upset you by saying anything. You already seemed too tiny and isolated and they walked on eggshells around you.
Each of your teammates yearned to be there for you, but they didn’t know you well enough to know how to be there for you. 
Paños finished with your shoes before standing, holding both of her hands out for you to take. She tugged you to your feet easily, one arm wrapping around you in almost a motherly manner.
The woman was usually seen joking with the younger kids, but with you she had taken a different role, like Ale. 
“Listos, nena?” The goalkeeper asked you, voice soft and comforting. Like Alexia, her voice nearly caused you to break down. You felt your shoulders shake beneath the weight of Sandra’s arm and resisted the urge to turn and hug her like you would have your mother.
You wanted comfort, but your father had convinced you time and time again that you didn’t need it and that you’d be a burden if you sought it out, and so you nodded and pulled away.
You walked out onto the field and began to stretch. You kept your head down, suddenly more numb than you’d felt in months. You ignored the way your stomach clenched with hunger and the way your head had begun to ache and sting from your lack of sleep, proper nutrition, and all of your crying. 
You didn’t look up, even as more of your teammates filtered out to join you. Claudia and Patri stretched next to you, trying to provide jokes for you to laugh at. They didn’t stop even as you didn’t react, continuing to try to cheer you up in the only way they knew how at the moment.
When a whistle sounded to signal the beginning of warmups, you stood instantly. Too fast, however, as your world tilted and spun around you. It reminded you of the first time you’d ever tried alcohol on your fifteenth birthday. 
An arm wrapped around your waist and you regained your balance against the firm body of one of your teammates.
“You okay?” You heard someone ask. Looking up, you caught the concerned glance of Ingrid Engen, who had also taken you under her wing when you’d joined the team. You nodded, pulling away from her, too.
So many people had touched you in the past hour, more than you’d had since your mother had passed away. You almost didn’t know how to react to all the comforting touches and glances, having not received them in so long. 
Ingrid watched on sadly as you walked away from her, the concern which swirled within herself increasing as she watched you wobble away. Ingrid had noticed how out of it you were, how tiny you had been in the clothes which had fit you a month ago. You were pale, more than normal, and the way you’d nearly passed out showed Ingrid that you were not fit to practice. 
The Norwegian caught Alexia’s gaze from across the yard, shaking her head at the Spanish captain to try to convey that you shouldn’t be training.
Sensing that something was wrong, Alexia began to make her way over to you. As she did so, however, your legs finally seemed to cave in from underneath you.
None of your teammates would ever be able to get the image of your crumpled figure on the turf as Alexia and Ingrid both ran to you. The rest of your teammates watched on as the medics were called over.
You were turned on your back by Alexia, one of her fingers touching at your throat as they attempted to find a pulse. It was thready and uneven, but there, and Alexia wanted to cry. She cursed herself for not confronting you sooner, more worried than she remembered ever being as the medical staff pushed her back to give your crumpled form more room.
Alexia had been the one to recommend you to the team, having attended one of your matches for Spain’s U17 match. You’d played up and had still outclassed so many of your teammates, a solid wall in the backline which your teammates depended upon. She’d seen the glimmer of excitement and determination in your eyes, one that you’d lost since the passing of your mother.
She felt like this was all her fault. If she had just spoken to you sooner and had investigated what was going on with you… then, maybe, you would have been okay. She felt as though she had failed you and her responsibilities as a captain to ensure your safety.
You’d become a skeleton of the incredible human that you’d once been, and had watched all the life drain from you while being unable to do anything about it. As you were placed upon a cart to be carried off the field, however, Alexia promised that she would be there for you.
You were wasting your life away, and Alexia was determined to figure out why.
-----
You awoke in a dimly illuminated room, your throat dry and your eyes feeling like they’d been doused with sand. You groaned, attempting to lift your hand as you slowly game through to try and brush at your forehead. You felt cold and sticky all at once– you didn’t feel well at all.
Your hand was caught on something, and you attempted to bat at it only to have your hand caught by something else. As the room slowly began to swim into your vision, you caught the familiar brown eyes of your captain. 
“Hola, capi.” You rasped, and Alexia’s concerned face brightened ever so slightly, a small smile gently pulling her lips upward.
“Hola, chiqui. Como estás?” Alexia inquired, her voice far gentler than you’d ever felt.
“Not very good,” You whispered honestly, feeling like shit. You were tired of fighting, tired of feeling like you weren’t enough. You were ready to be honest about how you felt, no matter if the people around you would stop loving you as your dad promised that they would. “What happened?”
“You passed out.” This voice was different, coming from your left. Slowly, your head fell sideways and you caught the glance of Ingrid. The girl looked more worried than you ever had seen her, and you felt truly terrible for worrying the older woman. 
“Oh.” You didn’t know what to say to that. You knew that you hadn’t been feeling very well for a long time, but you’d been too scared to mention it to anybody but your father. The man who was supposed to keep you safe had failed you in all ways possible, but you didn’t see it that way.
You felt like you weren’t enough and that it was you who had failed, and that you didn’t deserve comfort or love because of it.
Alexia sat up, the motion causing your gaze to come back to her.
“Do you want to tell me why you haven’t been taking care of yourself?” Alexia speaking English took you by surprise. You supposed that it shouldn’t have been that surprising, but you knew that the girl seemed to almost avoid speaking the language. Her voice was still low, comforting, and still worked at lowering your barriers ever more.
You had to resist the urge to throw yourself in her arms and blubber like a baby. You reminded yourself that they would remove you from the team, that they wouldn't accept you, that they would see you as weak.
However, the way Alexia held your hand, her grip comforting and sure, made you think that… maybe… your dad was wrong. Maybe they did care. 
“I…” you hesitated, and felt someone put a hand on your shoulder. Glancing over, you realized that Paños was there, too. You caught her concerned gaze, the small smile on her face, and heard her tell you that it was okay. 
It was then that you realized, all of the adults that you trusted most in the world, that made you feel better when you were at your worst, were there for you. They were here for you when you were lower than your lowest, and if they hadn’t left when you’d fallen on your face on the field, then they wouldn’t leave now. 
That thought gave you the courage to tell the truth, and so you did. 
The girls listened throughout your story. You told them how low you felt, how scared you were. You told them that you missed your mom, but so did your dad. You told them that he’d become a shell of the man he’d once been, that he’d become cruel and harsh– everything that your dad was not. The girls’ faces were stormy, but still they worked to comfort and reassure you in every way that they could.
By the end of your retelling, you were crying, but so were they. 
You were utterly exhausted as a yawn broke through, revealing your exhaustion to the other girls. It was Alexia who spoke first, frowning at you.
“We are here for you, no matter what. We will fix this.” Her words were hard, but not harsh. They were a promise, one that you trusted. “Sleep, we will be here when you wake up.”
“I’m okay.” You retorted. Truthfully, you were terrified. You were scared that they would leave after trusting them with the information and words that had burdened you for months, just as your father had promised you.
Sensing your nervousness, Alexia gently slid up and onto the bed, taking her time and giving you plenty of room. 
As soon as the older woman had sat herself up, careful of the IV in your hand, you moved. You buried yourself against her, an arm wrapping around her back as your face buried itself in her shoulder. Alexia, ever so carefully, wrapped her arms around you in return. 
She pressed a warm, careful kiss against your forehead, and allowed you to cry into her shirt. She did not care about the way your tears wet the material, reassuring you in a spattering of both English and Spanish words. Ingrid and Sandra stepped out to give the two of you privacy, although they would be back for you. They would never leave your side, not now that they knew what you’d been going through.
Alexia continued to hold and comfort you in the ways that you’d yearned for months, her touch gentle. 
That was how you fell asleep, and how you woke up hours later. Despite the amount of time you’d spent in the spare room of the training center, Alexia had stayed. She had not allowed anybody to wake you up, having come to the conclusion that she would never allow your father to speak to you ever again. 
That night, she took you to her home, which she shared with her girlfriend, Olga. There, they cared for you.
Alexia made sure that you spoke to a therapist, and that you never saw your father again. She supported you in the ways that you deserved, and in the ways that you'd lacked since your mother had passed away.
Slowly but surely, Alexia saw you return to the kid that you’d once been: determined, carefree, and stronger than you’d ever been. 
Freed from the confines of your father’s sorrow, you were able to soar. You rose to levels of success that you’d only ever been able to dream of, and you stayed true to your promise.
You made your mother proud.
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alotofpockets · 23 days
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The first time | Kyra Cooney-Cross x Reader | 18+ MDNI
Warnings: 18+ MDNI, soft smut. Their first time, fingering (r giving), thigh riding (r receiving).
Woso masterlist | Words: 2k
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It wasn’t long after Kyra joined Arsenal that the two of you had started dating. Everything was going great, you had clicked instantly and loved spending time together. The only problem was that it wasn’t often that you got to spend one on one time with your girlfriend. You lived with Lia, she took you in at sixteen when you moved from Switzerland to play for Arsenal, and Caitlin had done the same for Kyra when she moved from Australia. You loved them both dearly, but they could be very over protective. You’ve had your fair share of sleep overs, but there was always someone else at home, restricting you from doing more than sleeping. So, the two of you had not yet had your first time, and that was totally okay for the both of you. You didn’t need sex for your relationship to work, but it was definitely something that the both of you were ready for.
At training Kyra was slightly more giddy than usual, but you hadn’t thought much of it until she pulled you aside after. “Katie is taking Caitlin to visit Ireland over the weekend.” She raised her eyebrows suggestively. “Oh, how nice of Katie to do so, I hope they will have a great time.” You loved messing with Kyra, so after you said that you turned around to walk away. “Hey wait, do you not want to come over and have the house to ourselves?” She sounded genuinely disappointed, so you quickly turned around again, “Of course I am coming over, dummy. I wouldn’t miss one on one time with my favourite girl.” With that it was settled.
You were both nervous and excited for tonight. If you both felt comfortable tonight it would be your first time together. Sure, over the past few months you had talked about sex and what the both of you liked, but tonight would be the real thing. You put your nerves aside and knocked on her front door. “Hi beautiful.” You greet your girlfriend, she was wearing a pair of football shorts, and one of your hoodies, and your favourite part of her look was her messy bun. “Hi baby.” She beamed back as she pulled you into a hug and into the house. You peck her lips after closing the door behind you. “Wanna watch a movie?” Kyra asks while she pulls you further into the home. “I'd love to.”
It was fully Kyra's intention to finish the movie, and to not just jump right into it, but the way your hand was moving up and down her thigh had her breath hitching. You were fully aware of what you were doing, and were loving the way Kyra reacted to your soft touches. Kyra's eyes were closed when you looked up from your position cuddled into her side. You smirk and lean up, “I thought you wanted to watch this movie.” You whisper into her ear, letting your lips linger. When she simply hums and keeps her eyes closed, you start softly kissing her neck. “Hm baby.” Before continuing, you take a moment to check in with her. “Do you want me to stop?” 
She quickly shakes her head, “No, please keep going.” You don’t need her to tell you twice, so this time you connect your lips with hers, and kiss her passionately. She intertwines her fingers into your hair and pulls you closer to her. “I love you so much.” You say when you both take a second to catch your breath. “I love you too, baby.” You straddle her waist and continue making out. 
Kyra’s hands make their way under your shirt, and your gasp from the contact with her slightly colder hands, gives her the opportunity to deepen the kiss. While she lets her tongue explore your mouth, you let your hands wander down her chest. When your hands meet her boobs, Kyra moans into your mouth. The sounds she was making were like music to your ears. Sure, you had made out a bunch of times, but none of the reactions compared to the soft moans that were filling your ears at the moment. “Is this still okay?” You ask her while your hands are still on her boobs. “More than.” Kyra says with a shaky breath. 
Kyra seemed to be getting more confident too, as her hands explored more of your back, and she let your shirt ride up with it. “Can I take this off?” Your heart was beating out of your chest at this point, your body filled with anticipation. “Please.” You sit up slightly, to give Kyra more room to take off your shirt. She tosses the piece of clothing to the side, and admires your body. “You are so beautiful.” She says before reconnecting your lips. Her hands now roam freely over your bare skin, all of the touching and kissing was turning you on big time, and out of instinct you started rolling your hips. “Fuck that’s so hot.” Kyra groans. You hadn’t realised you were doing it until her reaction, and stopped dead in your tracks. “No, baby, please don’t stop.” Her hands found their way to your hips and guided you back to the movements you were making. 
“Hmm, you’re still wearing too many clothes. It’s not fair when we’re not even.” Kyra chuckles softly at your joking comment. “Well we can’t have that, can we?” Her voice low. You move your hands to the hem of her hoodie, and lift it over her head. The hoodie gets discarded somewhere in the general direction of your shirt, as you let your eyes roam over Kyra’s toned body. “You are absolutely stunning.” Your fingers trace softly over the exposed skin. “Are you sure you want to do this?” You were sure that your continuous questions checking in were annoying, but you wanted to make sure that everything you were doing was alright with your girlfriend. “I am sure, baby. I want you.” Her eyes darkened in a way you hadn’t seen before, the look snapped something in you, and you moved the two of you to lay further down on the bed. Kissing her passionately again, as you let your hands roam free again, this time daring to go lower than before. 
Your fingers were playing with the waistband of her shorts, while your lips had made their way back to her neck. Kyra’s breath hitched when your hand moved slightly under the waistband of her shorts. You were about to ask her if it was okay, but she nodded eagerly before you even got a single word out. After a slight reposition of your body, Kyra arches her hips off of the bed, so you can rid her of her shorts, taking her underwear with it in one swift motion. “Can I?” Kyra asks, eying up your shorts as well. You giggle softly, “Yeah, I can’t make the equal rule just for myself, can I?”  The way that you were joking around, even in such a vulnerable moment, only proved to you further that you wanted to take this step with Kyra. After she takes off your shorts and underwear, you press your lips on hers again. 
Your hands make their way down Kyra’s body again, this time all the way down to her inner thighs, where you move your hand up and down a few times. “Please tell me when you want me to stop at any moment.” Kyra smiles down at you. “I know, baby. Same goes for you.” Once you’re sure that Ky is ready too, you slide one of your fingers through her slick folds. You groan at the feeling of her slick coating your fingers. “You feel so good baby.” You praise before you start slowly circling her clit. Kyra’s head falls back instantly as soft moans leave her lips.
The way her chest was rising and falling, as your fingers were making her feel good had you mesmerised. Kyra was always beautiful, but seeing her like this brought a whole new meaning to the word. You bring your free hand to her breast, while you gently enter her with one finger. “Hm so good.” Kyra groans out as she arches her hips off the bed to meet your slow thrusts, desperately needing more. In response you add a second finger, and when she has settled on the new feeling, you start pumping your fingers into her at a slightly faster pace. The feeling and her moans alone were enough for your own slick to start dripping down your thighs. 
Kyra’s moans get louder as you feel her tightening around your fingers. “I’m gonna-” She tries to speak but her pants interrupt her. “Come for me baby, I’ve got you.” With a few more thrusts of your fingers, she came moaning your name loudly. You gently work her through her high, as your lips meet hers in sweet kisses. “You did so good, darling.” 
You bring your fingers covered in her slick to your mouth and clean them off, this sparked something in Kyra instantly. She flipped the two of you over, just with a bit too much power due to her excitement, so you had to hold her back before she would roll off the bed. Both of you start laughing loudly, and Kyra falls down on top of you. “Wanna try that again?” You tease her. But you’re quickly shut up by her thigh meeting your core. A deep moan escapes your throat, hinting to Kyra that you were very worked up already. Her thigh had met your core accidentally, when she was trying to get up, but now she wanted to make you feel good that way, so she flipped you over again. 
This time, she managed to do it rather smoothly. You were now laying on top of her again, she put her own leg up slightly in between your legs, “Ride my thigh, baby.” Her confident words struck right to your core, and made you move your hips instantly. Kyra brought her hands to your hips, and started guiding you up and down her thigh. Your slick covered her leg instantly, and the pressure to your clit from the movement got you moaning into Kyra’s ear. She was loving the way you were getting yourself off on her thigh, and watched in awe how your face showed the pleasure you were feeling. You were working to your high quickly, by how turned on you got by pleasuring Kyra, and before you knew it you were teetering on the edge of your orgasm. “Let go for me, baby.” Kyra whispered into your ears, and you came instantly. 
You collapse on Kyra after riding out your high. With your face nestled into her neck you softly say, “Sorry that was quick.” You feel slightly embarrassed, but Kyra is quick to reassure you. “That was really hot.” She moves slightly so she can see your face, “That was amazing, baby, and I love you so much.” Kyra pecks your lips a couple of times. “I love you too.” You fall back into her arms, and she holds you tight. Together you enjoy the moment in quietness for a bit. Until you lift yourself up on one of your arms, “Wanna take a shower together to clean ourselves up?” Your girlfriend nods and follows after you, gathering up your disregarded clothes on the way there. 
Showering together was soft and comforting. She washed your body, and you washed hers, and while the shampoo was setting, you held each other. It was such a vulnerable moment between the two of you, but you felt nothing but warmth and comfort. After your shower, you make your way back into the bed, and cuddle up together. The evening continued with some conversations about your first time, wanting to make sure that both of you felt good before, during, and after. And it eventually ended with you falling asleep comfortably in Kyra’s arms. 
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adascore · 7 days
Note
Hello! Not sure if you’re taking requests but would you consider doing an addition to TSS where young!arsenal reader was starting before Beth and Viv came back and has been benched majority of the time since (Kyra core☹️). Maybe during like the west ham game was one of the subs thrown on halfway through and after the loss made a snarky comment about “being thrown on to unfuck everything” type of thing to another teammate and Viv/beth overhear and think she’s talking about them (maybe they’re already a little insecure about losing such an “easy” game, self doubt post ACL) and things are super frosty and weird at home until one of them snaps and makes a comment about how they still wouldn’t have won even if R started. Hurt/comfort angst but with a happy ending!! Not sure if any of that strikes your fancy but I had the thought and you’re so talented:) no worries if not!!!
TO JUMP THE GUN(NERS)
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pairings: arsenal x teen!reader / meadema x teen!reader / kyra cooney-cross x arsenal!reader
warnings: the west-ham match. swearing. angst. awkwardness.
author’s note: OMG LOVE THIS IDEA ! like this was right up my alley I felt like 😭 thank you so much, and I hope you enjoy the story!
masterlist
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February 4, 2024 - Essex, England
It had become a routine, seeing her name and number on the bench. She took a glance at Kyra, a knowing look in her eyes.
The young Arsenal homegrown wondered where it all had gotten wrong. Well, she knew the answer, but it wasn't exactly something she could say out loud to anyone.
She was transported back to the 2022/23 season, where she would warm the bench until either Vivianne or Beth were too tired or they needed to be rested for the next match.
Their injuries had changed everything.
Y/N not only became a regular starter, but became a vital part of their game. Her absence would be noticed.
She scored the goals that got them to the semifinals of the Champions League, keeping them level with 2x champions Wolfsburg.
However, Beth and Vivianne were back now. Alessia's arrival also didn't help much, the former Manchester United player having cemented herself into the starting line-up.
It also didn't help that Jonas was not a fan of rotating. Only in specific Conti Cup matches or against what he deemed 'weaker' teams in the league would he make changes to the usual starting XI.
In other words, she was back to step 1.
That's why it was hard to watch her teammates falling 2-1 behind against West Ham, with no one seeming to find an answer or any will to turn the game around. It was a painful spectacle.
In the 63rd minute, Jonas decided to throw herself, Kyra and Cloé in the match, and take out Vivianne, Victoria and Beth. It was a desperate attempt, and the three Gunners found themselves on the pitch, tasked with the challenging mission of trying to fix everything that had gone wrong so far.
Y/N and Cloé quickly created some chances but the West Ham defense or the swift reflexes of Mackenzie Arnold saw them go in vain.
The teenager could see the expressions of her teammates on the bench, visibly frustrated with how the match had unfolded since Alessia's successful header.
Vivianne couldn't hide the discontent in her eyes as she sat with a subtle shake of her head. Her partner, sitting beside her, noticed and Beth patted her thigh, offering silent support as they continued to watch their team scramble for a late equalizer.
As the final whistle blew, the disappointment within the team was high. Y/N did her usual post-match routine, and congratulated all the West Ham players on their win, while giving and receiving solace from her own teammates.
The teen found Kyra again, someone who she had found a friendship in over the months the Australian had joined the Gunners.
''You alright?'' The midfielder asked her, a dejected tone in her voice.
Y/N nodded. ''Yeah, you?''
''Not too great, but there are worse things in life.'' Kyra responded, trying to put the loss in perspective.
''True,'' the striker agreed, ''I can't believe he keeps putting us in these positions.''
Kyra nodded. ''You think he would learn after Tottenham.'' She sighed.
''Apparently, we're not good enough to start, but when he needs us to unfuck everything that happened, then he knows who we are.'' Y/N said, her frustration evident. The unfair treatment of some players during the season lingered in the air, leaving a bitter taste after the defeat.
As the youngsters continued their conversation on their way to the locker room, Vivianne and Beth, unintentionally overhearing their discussion, exchanged puzzled glances.
''Did you hear that? 'Unfuck everything'?'' Beth repeated her housemate's words to her partner.
Vivianne's brow furrowed as she processed what was said. ''Yeah,'' the Dutchwoman breathed out, ''not very nice.'' A hint of sadness lingered in her voice. It stung that their efforts were being discussed in such terms, especially by the young girl they were living with.
They didn't say much else to one another as they strolled through the corridor.
The atmosphere in the locker room was subdued, void of any banter and entertaining chats. Most of the players were already there as the couple walked in.
Beth took a glimpse at Y/N and Kyra who still seemed in a discussion with one another, although they were whispering now.
''Girls, we're a lot better than this.'' Kim broke the ice, a neutral expression on her face.
Everyone nodded at the captain, the collective disappointment from the match was visible. ''Well, it's done, we can't change anything about it. So, everyone just do a reset, try to get some sleep or distract yourselves on the bus, and I expect everyone with fresh minds and legs at training.''
The team nodded and weakly applauded Kim's small speech.
As the team began to disperse, Y/N caught Beth's eye, offering a faint smile in greeting. However, the winger's response was noticeably strained, her usually warm demeanor replaced by a subtle tension.
"Everything okay?" The younger one ventured, her concern evident.
Beth's smile faltered slightly, her gaze flickering away before returning to meet Y/N's. "Yeah, everything's fine." She replied, though her words sounded hollow even to her own ears.
The striker's brow furrowed further, a flicker of uncertainty clouding her features. "Are you sure?" She pressed gently, not used to this awkwardness from her teammate.
"I... yeah, I'm sure." She retorted, her voice tinged with irritation.
"Okay..." Y/N trailed off, unsure of how to proceed. Sensing the dismissiveness between them, she offered a hesitant smile before turning back to where she had been talking with Lia.
As her housemate walked away, Beth's expression hardened, a pang of guilt gnawing at her conscience. She knew she shouldn't act like this towards her, but her words had really struck a nerve for some reason and it was hard to pretend it didn't.
The drive home on the bus wasn't that different, though the atmosphere was more subdued due to the loss. Y/N and Kyra were seated next to each other, Katie and Caitlin sitting on the other side of them.
''You alright, Y/N?'' Caitlin asked, noticing the youngster's quietness.
Y/N looked up, glancing away from her nails to the older Australian player. She hesitated answering, not knowing if it was appropriate to say anything about her interaction with Beth.
She sat up straight and motioned for the three of them to huddle together over the small table. They got her message and did just that.
''Did anything happen on the bench or something? Cause I had this weird exchange with Meado, and it's just stuck in my head.'' She explained, her voice hushed.
They all frowned at her words. ''No, she was just frustrated about the game, but so was everyone else.'' Caitlin responded.
''What happened?'' Katie chimed in, curious to know about this exchange.
''I don't know. She was looking at me in the locker room, and I smiled at her, but she, I don't know, just looked weird at me. I asked her if she was alright, but she was kinda distant with me? She responded a little irritated so I left her alone, but it was weird.'' Y/N gave a small summary of the interaction.
"That is strange." Kyra mused, breaking the silence that had settled over their huddle.
They nodded at her words, agreeing with the young Australian.
''I didn't notice anything.'' Caitlin said with a pout, feeling sorry she couldn't help her younger teammate out. ''Me neither, kiddo.'' Katie added, a similar expression on her face.
Y/N smiled sadly, disappointed she wasn't any wiser on Beth. Katie rubbed her arm once she noticed her dejected expression. ''Hey, I wouldn't worry about it. It's a tough loss.''
The youngster nodded at the Irishwoman's words. ''Yeah, you're right.''
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Katie was not right.
As soon as she got in the car with the beloved couple it was clear that something had gone down for them to act in such a sour mood. Vivianne's knuckles were white against the steering wheel, while Beth stared out of the window, her expression unreadable.
Sensing the palpable tension, Y/N shifted uncomfortably in her seat. The youngster wanted to break the silence, but the words wouldn't come out. It felt like they were stuck in her throat.
The drive home felt like forever. Every minute made the atmosphere worse. Y/N tried to catch Vivianne or Beth's eye, hoping for some sign that things would get better, but there was nothing.
Car rides after losses were never filled with much conversation, but it had never been like this.
A wave of relief went through her as the car was parked in front of their apartment complex, longing for the comfort of her room where she could hide from whatever the situation was.
Y/N couldn't even come up with a guess on what had transpired. Did they have a fight? Did she do something? Did someone else do something?
She had absolutely no clue.
However, the tension seemed to follow them into their shared home. The silence had become even more deafening with each step they took.
Beth disappeared into her room without a word, while Vivianne headed straight for the kitchen, her movements stiff and mechanical. Y/N stood in the hallway, feeling like an outsider in her own home.
Their behaviors made her feel anxious, feeling that knot inside her stomach. What had happened during the game? What had caused them to retreat into themselves like this?
Unable to handle any of it longer, Y/N tentatively approached the Dutchwoman in the kitchen. "Um, Viv?" She began, her voice small.
Vivianne glanced up, her expression guarded. "Yeah?” She replied, accent heavy.
The younger girl hesitated, unsure of how to broach the subject. "I, uh, did, uh, something happen at the game?" She stammered, her words stumbling over each other in her haste to get everything out.
The striker's eyebrows furrowed. "What are you talking about?” She asked, her face neutral.
Her response only added to the youngest one's confusion. It seemed as though they were both dancing around a subject neither wanted to address.
"I-I just... noticed things were a bit off between everyone after the match," Y/N explained, her voice barely above a whisper, "and, well, the car ride home was... a bit weird, you know.”
Vivianne's expression softened slightly, though her guard remained up. ''Don't worry about it. Just… frustration from the game.''
But Y/N couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to it than just frustration. She wanted to press further, but the fear of causing further conflict held her back.
Instead, she offered a hesitant nod. ''Okay, good.'' She murmured to the floor, retreating back to her room with a heavy heart.
The Arsenal homegrown player pulled her phone out of her pocket, searching up Kyra's contact. It only took a few rings for the Australian to pick up, she was probably already on her phone as she was called.
''Hey.'' Her accent momentarily bringing a smile to Y/N's face.
''Hey, you're home?''
''Yeah, just arrived. What's up?''
There was a brief pause before Y/N continued. ''Things have gotten a bit weirder since, uh, on the bus.''
''Shit. What happened?'' She asked, her voice filled with genuine worry.
''It's just... the tension at home is almost suffocating," she explained, ''it was completely silent the entire time we were driving home, and when we got home, Beth immediately went to her room. I tried to ask Viv about, but she told me it was just frustrations, but it clearly is not just that.''
There was a moment of silence as Kyra processed Y/N's words. "That doesn't sound good," she finally replied, ''you really have no idea what might have happened? Maybe they had a fight or something?''
Y/N shook her head, even though her teammate couldn't see it. "No, that's the thing. I'm completely lost." She admitted, frustration lacing her words.
''Same. I wish I knew what to say to help.'' Kyra said softly.
''It's alright, Ky. Thanks for letting me ramble.'' Y/N chuckled, appreciating the opportunity to unload her worries onto her friend.
''It's fine, honestly. It must not be fun to be in this situation,'' the Matilda replied, feeling for her friend, ''if anything else happens you can always let me know, okay? I'm gonna have some dinner now.''
Y/N smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Ky. I really appreciate it.”
''Anytime. Take care, I'll see you at training.''
''You too. Bye, bye.'' They bid each other goodbye before hanging up the phone.
Y/N prepared to leave her room again, wanting to check if Vivianne had started dinner yet or not.
Just as she stepped into the hallway, she nearly collided with Beth, who was coming out of her room with a tight-lipped expression. The sudden encounter caught them both off guard.
''Shit, sorry.'' The younger one apologized first, giving her housemate an awkward glance.
''It's alright,'' Beth brushed off, ''uh, were you on the phone just now?" She asked, her brow furrowing slightly.
Y/N nodded. ''Uh, yeah, with Kyra.''
Beth's expression shifted, a flicker of something unreadable crossing her features. "Oh, Kyra." She murmured, her voice tight.
The younger girl simply stared at the winger, not knowing what to say to her words. "Is everything okay?" Y/N ventured, her voice hesitant as she searched Beth's face for any sign of what might be bothering her.
Beth's lips pressed into a thin line, and for a moment, she seemed lost in thought. When she finally spoke, her words were tinged with a hint of irritation. ''Everything's alright.''
Y/N offered a small, uneasy smile and nodded. "Oh, okay." She said, though her words felt hollow even to her own ears.
With a nod of acknowledgment, Beth turned to walk away. As she watched Beth disappear around the corner, she wondered if it had been something she had done. However, she couldn't recall saying or doing anything that day that would have provoked this kind of demeanor from the couple.
The young striker walked into the living room, noticing Vivianne bustling about in the kitchen. But what caught Y/N's attention was the hushed whispers exchanged between the couple, Beth and Vivianne not being subtle about their gossiping.
A sense of discomfort washed over the youngster as she hesitated in the doorway, unsure whether to interrupt or retreat unnoticed. But before she could make a decision, the Dutchwoman glanced up and caught her eye, her expression inscrutable.
''Hey, dinner is almost ready. Just some leftover pasta from yesterday.'' She informed Y/N, her tone somewhat forced as she attempted to maintain a facade of normalcy.
Y/N forced a smile. ''Nice, thanks, Viv.'' She answered, trying to ignore the awkwardness that hung in the air.
She retreated to the couch, feeling as if she wasn't welcome in the small space. Something was off, and she couldn't help but feel like she was on the outside looking in.
She scrolled on her phone for a few minutes before Vivianne called her to the table as the food was ready. As they gathered around the dinner table, the atmosphere remained strained, the tension thick enough to cut with a knife.
Vivianne served up the leftover pasta, her movements brisk as she avoided making eye contact with anyone. Beth sat across from Y/N, her expression unreadable as she picked at her food.
Y/N tried to focus on her food, but the uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach made it difficult to swallow.
For a few moments, the only sound was the clinking of forks against plates, the silence punctuated only by the occasional awkward cough or clearing of throat.
Finally, unable to bear the tension any longer, Y/N opened her mouth. "So, um, what did you guys think about the match?'' She asked the pair, her voice coming out more high than she had intended.
As if on cue, Vivianne and Beth glanced up from their plates at the same time.
''It was tough, but it shouldn't have been tough. We lacked a clear tactic.'' The experienced striker answered, filling up the silence.
Y/N nodded, relieved at least one of them responded to her attempt at conversation. She took a peek at Beth, who did not seem amused in the slightest to talk about the surprising defeat earlier that day.
''It was just another match of us fucking everything up, and you kids having to unfuck it all.'' Beth said, her tone dripping with sarcasm.
The youngest's eyes widened slightly at the cutting remark, not expecting those words to come out of the Brit's mouth.
Vivianne shifted uncomfortably in her seat, casting a quick glance at Y/N before fixing her gaze on her partner. "Beth, that's enough.'' Her voice was stern, warning Beth that this was not the way to go about this.
But Beth ignored her girlfriend, her eyes fixed on Y/N with an intensity that made her squirm. ''No, she needs to learn to not talk about teammates that way, especially the ones that have just gotten back from serious injuries, and need time to reintegrate into the group.''
Y/N felt a flush of embarrassment creeping up her neck, she cast a desperate look at Vivianne, silently pleading for her to intervene and diffuse the situation before it escalated any further.
''Beth, I wasn't-''
''You weren't what? You weren't talking shit to Kyra about us right after the match? You weren't talking shit about us to Kyra on the phone just now?'' The oldest continued in an accusing tone.
Vivianne let out a sigh, her frustration evident as she attempted to defuse the situation. ''Beth.'' She said firmly, her gaze shifting between the two other people at the table.
''I wasn't talking shit about you guys. I would never do that.'' Y/N managed to let out, offended at the mere idea of her not appreciating the two women who'd let her move in with them a 1,5 years ago.
''Y/N, we heard you. On the pitch after the match, with Kyra.'' Beth responded bluntly.
Y/N swallowed hard, slightly ashamed of being caught. ''We were just... we were just frustrated, okay? That comment wasn't directed at any of you guys, it was more at Jonas, to be fair.''
The couple grew silent at the admission, realizing they had greatly misunderstood the two young girls' conversation. ''About Jonas?'' Vivianne repeated, her voice carrying a note of embarrassment.
The young striker nodded. ''Yeah, me and Kyra have just been a bit upset with our game time, that's all. It felt like a repeat of the Tottenham game.''
Beth and Vivianne exchanged a glance, coming to a silent understanding. ''We're sorry for jumping the gun on that one, darling. We really thought we needed to teach you some manners.'' The Brit nervously apologized with a chuckle.
''It's alright, we probably should've been a bit more discreet.'' Y/N brushed her apology off with a hand gesture.
''No, you two are in your full right to complain.'' Vivianne retorted, agreeing on the playing time matter.
The teenager waited a few moments before elaborating. ''I don't mind sitting on the bench, it's great to get rest, you know? But it almost feels like he doesn't trust me to get the game starting or something. I like to think I did great last season, so this kind of sucks.'' She opened up, not having voiced these thoughts to anyone but Kyra.
''You did amazing last season, you stepped up when we needed someone and the team will never forget that.'' Beth smiled, squeezing the youngster' s hand.
''It seems that Jonas forgot.'' Y/N muttered bitterly, looking down at her empty plate.
The couple silenced themselves at her mumbled words, not knowing what the appropriate response would be to cheer her up about the situation. They were indirectly responsible for the young girl to not get as much game time anymore, so whatever they would tell her, she would most likely not feel much better afterwards.
''Just focus on what you're doing right now. Show up to training, recover well, maximize everything in the minutes you do get. Show him that he should trust you to start, and that you deserve to have that spot in the line-up.'' Vivianne chimed in, her voice soft but resolute.
Y/N nodded at the older woman's words, though her demeanor still seemed dejected. ''Yeah, I'll continue to do that.'' It came out somewhat passive aggressive.
''I know it doesn't fix the situation, but you're my personal star girl, regardless whether you play or not.'' Beth softly smiled at her.
The teen managed to crack a small smile back, appreciating the sentiment. ''Thanks, Beth.''
''You're mine too.'' Vivianne added.
''Hey, that's my compliment for her! Find another one if you want to be cute!'' Beth scolded her partner, dramatically feigning annoyance.
The Dutchwoman frowned. ''Everyone calls her ‘star girl'! You're not original either!'' She pouted back.
Y/N couldn't help but let out a chuckle at the banter between the couple, happily accepting the momentary distraction from her frustrations.
Beth playfully rolled her eyes. ''At least I'm complimenting her!''
''Sorry that I was just giving useful advice, Bethany.'' Vivianne retorted.
''Useful.'' The Brit repeated, her voice heavily tinged with sarcasm.
Vivianne's mouth gaped, pretending to be offended. ''It was useful! That's what I would have wanted to hear at 19 year-old.'' She defended herself.
''19 year-old's want to hear praise, Viv. They want to be called star girls, not receive a lecture.'' Beth quickly replied, with a smirk.
''Y/N, it was useful, right?'' The older striker turned towards the teenager.
''Yeah, Y/N, tell Miss Miedema how useful her advice was.'' Beth chorused her words, grinning from ear-to-ear.
The youngster simply glanced between the two of them, before picking up her empty plate and standing up from her seat. ''I'm taking this as my sign to leave.''
She ignored their pleas with a satisfied grin, making her way to the kitchen to dump her plate, and walking back to her room.
The couple watched her depart, sharing a knowing look, a hint of amusement dancing in their eyes. ''She's gonna call Kyra, isn't she?'' Vivianne chuckled.
''She so is.'' Beth agreed with a laugh.
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requests are always welcome!
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leah-lover · 17 days
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Crossover. Leah Williamson x reader.
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Based off this request. Thank you.
Exiting, that's how you would describe your life as a model. Yes there were the occasional hiccups but you mostly got to do very cool stuff and hang out with cool people. Your work took you everywhere but your home base was London. You started your career there and a large number of your followers come from there too.
The thing you loved the most about your job was the parties. They allow you to meet very interesting people, pick their brain and develop interesting g friendships.
Today was no different. Nike had a pretty high budget launch party for their new show line and you were invited. These parties were a little less formal than what you were used to going to, so you decided against a suit or a dress and settled for a black strapless and backless jumpsuit, a pair of black heels and some gold accessories. Your make up was elegant and your signature red lip was at its center.
Nike as always sent you a car to your house and you headed to the location of the event on time.
Upon arriving there you said hi to some people, talked to others, took some pictures at the event with some guests and drank champagne. The night was as regular as most of most launch parties were. Suddenly you were approached by one of the managers of the event.
“ Hey, so I wanted to introduce you to one of the faces of this launch. Miss Leah Williamson.” he says.
“ hi, nice to meet you, Miss williamson.” you say offering her your hand.
“ Hey, just Leah please.” she answers, shaking your hand
.” a fellow Brit I see. I haven't seen many of those tonight.”
“ glad i was among the few.” she answers. You two talked for a little while over a small table, each one of you nursing a drink. You both were making jokes trying to get one another to laugh or at least smile. There was definitely tension in the air and you both were flirtatious with one another.
“So Leah this has been one of the best nights I have had for a while. Thank you “ you say, squeezing her hand gently.
“Yeah it was fun for me too.” she responds with a disappointed tone. “Let me walk you to your car.”
While leaving the venue you hear a photographer say “ Miss Williamson would you like a picture?”. She looks over to you and you get into your usual pose instantly. While getting ready her hand slips perfectly on the small of your back applying the right amount of pressure.
While the photographer's flash was blinding you, you looked over to Leah and she did the same to you. You stood there getting your picture taken with a hot blonde after flirting with her all night. She made you feel safe with her hand on your back which you appreciated.She then walls you too you car.
“Tonight was fun.” You say leaning on the door.
“We should do this again sometime soon.” She replies with a small smile on her face.
“House about you come to one of our games. We will play in the Emirates soon. I think it would be a good experience.” She added.
“ Maybe.” You respond before getting in your car.
This night was gonna be unforgettable.
—----------------
Fact forward a few weeks you were back in England after being in Milan, Paris, and Japan for work. Well there first two were work , the last one was for fun since the F1 Japan grand prix was one of your favorites on the race calendar. You could say that that weekend was well spent. You hung out on the Ferrari paddock and did a lot of social media work. This work backfired on you because all people were talking about the whole weekend we're done moment that happened between you and a driver. Romers never bothered you, now it was different. Leah had followed you on Instagram after the event and you worried that she would believe them. As a result you decided to go to the arsenal game she talked about. Getting tickets was a Hassle because they were all sold out. But you managed to find a seat right next to the bench, very close to the field.
You showed up to the Stadium early. You hair was down, your makeup was simple, you wore jeans, a black button down and a Jersey over it, one that says Leah Williamson on the back, and you added a few gold accessories again.
Like Leah said the atmosphere was electric. You went to the VIP section first, got some food and a drink then you headed down to your seat. Leah didn't know you were coming; you wanted it to stay a surprise.
As soon as the players appeared on the pitch the whole strain erupted into cheers and chants. Those cheers only got louder when Arsenal scored 3 goals in 20 minutes which you were told was impressive.
After the half time break some players were running up and down the field. That's when she saw you. She held eye contact with you for a long time, a wide smile planted across her face. She had a look of pride, joy, and reassurance. You smiled back at her, clapped as she came on and sang and chanted loudly.
After the game was done the players were doing a lap around the pitch and when she saw you again. Another wide smile was painted on her face. She looked happy to be there and happy that you were there too.
She was then signing autographs, taking pictures and genuinely talking to people. She grew immensely in your eyes because of her thankful and humble demeanor. She then asked for you to follow her inside the stadium which you did.
“You clean up nice. I like your shirt “ she said with a cocky expression on her face.
“Well I saw a charming young lady at an event a few weeks ago and she hadn't left my mind ever since. I missed her and I thought I would come and see her. Turns out she is the best person in the world.” You respond.
“ Well I hope this girl gets to go have dinner with you because you two sound formidable.” She added
“ Maybe.” You respond
You wait for her to get ready and get out of the locker room. When she gets out, a few girls follow her and appear to be teasing her.
“ I swear if I hear from anyone you shit heads you won't like practice anymore.” She said to them. You simply wave to them as you two walk by then to Leah's car too which she opens the door.
“ Such a gentleman.” You exclaim.
“Well I have competition. That girl you were talking about is a catch.” She joked.
Leah was fun. She made you feel at ease and safe.
This was going to be a fun adventure.
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ilovegarbage · 2 years
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Was it an arsenal goal? Was it a missed chelsea goal? Was it marcos getting shoved from behind in the box? Was it the drunk annoying men surrounding us? Was it Aaron ramsdale giving us nasty looks and creepy faces? The common denominator for the disappointment? Men.
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scribblesofagoonerr · 25 days
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I'm not a loser!
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Pairings: lia wälti x teen reader, caitlin foord x teen reader, awfc x teen reader
Massive thinks to @alotofpockets for her help with motivating me to write and put this out. Sorry it's taken a while, but I wasn't overly keen with how I wrote it & even now, I feel like it's not my best work.
I hope you like it though, and please let me know your thoughts of what you'd like to see happen in this mini fic series!
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Things really hadn’t been going in your favour today at all, in fact it had been a completely terrible day at school and you didn’t realise that it was only about to get worse.
Since the day started, it had been horrible from the very minute that you woke up, overhearing the latest argument between your two mums’ on the phone as they fought about you, but you didn’t care to listen to any of the conversation; It always seemed to land back around on the same topic that you argued about, and that subject being you.
It seemed like your mood only worsened when your latest test was handed back to you, graded with a big fat F circled in red around it and it’s not like the disappointing look you received from your teacher helped matters either.
You were quick to shove the paper in the bottom of your backpack, at least then you could try and forget about it; The last thing you wanted was to see the disappointed looks from either of your mums, after you promised them that you would try and keep your head down.
But sometimes it was easier to say that then actually do it.
It’s not like you have ever been a troublemaker in school, but it’s been tough to keep on top of everything and now you’re finding yourself both in trouble at school and at home; You were currently grounded after the latest stunt that you pulled over the weekend with Kyra, which you didn’t find completely fair, but your mama seemed to think different, so what did you know?
The rest of the morning at school hadn’t exactly been great either, you’d somehow managed to land yourself with a break time detention for the forgotten piece of English homework that you were supposed to hand in, but it wasn’t meant like you did it on purpose when there’s added pressure from football games and training, not to mention the messy home life situation that you currently faced, so it's’ safe to say that your school work has now been slacking ever so slightly.
By the time that the bell for lunch went, you were more than ready to escape the classroom. However, when you were walking out of the classroom that’s when it all changed and you came face to face with your tormentor.
“Oi, Y/L/N!” You flinched at the familiar voice of your bully shouting at you from behind, just as you thought that you had been doing so well to avoid them only for you to turn a corner and see them.
You could say that life’s never really been the easiest roller coaster for you, your past homelife hadn’t exactly been fantastic and you’d never even felt true happiness until you found your home at your childhood dream club with a new family that welcomed you with open arms.
The day you signed your first ever professional contract, your life changed completely. When the opportunity arose for you to play for the Arsenal womens’ senior team, you couldn’t help but leap at the chance to play for your dream club, even if you were still quite young.
It was all you’d ever wanted to do.
Despite the rough start in your life, you’ve necessarily not been one of those types of kids to act out, you just get on with life without a single complaint, even with the challenges that you’ve faced in life.
Just like the current situation right now, your own personal tormentor.
You weren’t bothered at first when it was tolerable, it was just harmless name calling and sure, the names’ spilled were mean but you had enough sense just to ignore them but then it got worse and eventually the names turned into physical assault.
You just didn’t know what to do anymore.
“Oi, don’t ignore me, Y/L/N. I know you can hear me, you stupid twat” Your own personal bully continued to shout aloud to get your attention.
Mustering up all the courage that you had, you bit your bottom lip and spun around to face your bully although they were tall and had that slight advantage over you, “I… I wasn’t ignoring you. I just didn’t hear you” Your quick to lie and cover your tracks.
“Whatever” The older girl muttered, rolling her eyes before she continued to push you into a nearby locker, “Listen, stupid. The chemistry homework needs to be handed in today, do you have it or not?”
Your eyes widened in a sudden panic, you’d completely forgotten about it when you were so busy with football and trying to keep up with your own school work that you pushed your bullies’ to the back of the pile, and now you knew that you were gonna pay for it.
“Well, do you?” You pulled out of your thoughts by a sharp pinch on your bicep.
“Um, no… I forgot about it” You quietly admitted, although you knew it was an instant mistake right there and then.
“You forgot? Huh, you really must’ve been born stupid then” The bully spat venomously as they tower over you with a menacing look on their face, “Well, I guess we have a problem now then, don’t we?” they sneer at you.
A single second later, you hissed out loud in pain at the instant impact of being thrown directly into the locker behind you, you can’t help but flinch as an automatic response to the violence that is being directed towards you while you peer up with wide eyes as they tower over you with a venomous look in their eyes.
“You’re not going to fight back, you wuss? What a loser!” They taunt you before they throw you directly into the locker again, “Huh, no response, no defence. You really are a sad little lost orphan aren’t you” they continue to taunt.
You don’t know what it was inside of you but it was like something snapped. You couldn’t take it any longer of the harsh comments spewed or the violence, you didn’t have to put up with it either.
“I’m not… I’m not an orphan” Your usual calm approach to your bully has gone as you can’t help but growl at the older girl while clenching your fists tightly, “I’m not a loser either, I’m not— I’m not!” 
“Oh, yeah? Prove it then, loser” They smirk, almost challenging you.
You couldn’t even explain the next few minutes even if you tried. 
It was like you blacked out in a state of absolute rage, your fists flying at them as you remembered the self-defence that your mum had so helpfully taught you in case you ever needed it in a situation like this, and now it finally came in handy against them.
“I’m not… I’m not a loser!” You exclaimed loudly as you lifted your own fist up and swung it in the direction of their face, “I am not… I am not a loser!” You’d lost control of your anger like a flick of the switch, lashing out and throwing punches at your bully whos’ been endlessly taunting you for the better part of the last several months.
Even though you know you were  bound to be in trouble for it, you couldn’t care less right now because punching your bully and sticking up for yourself was definitely worth it in the end.
And maybe this way, you’d be able to get the attention of both your mums’ in the same room, so that was another positive reason to punch the girl square in the face.
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“Yes, that’s fine. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Bye” Lia exhales a sigh as she ends the most recent phone call with your head teacher this week, having asked her to come down to the school after you’d landed yourself in trouble.
“What’s going on?” Leah looks at the older women confused as the trains alongside her in the gym.
Lia exhales a sigh and slips her phone into her pocket, “That was the school again. Y/N is in trouble” she explains to the blonde.
“Again?” Leah's eyebrows furrow, confused, “What happened this time?” she wonders.
“I don’t know, but I guess I’ll find out when I get down there” Lia mumbles, standing up from the bench that she was previously sitting on, “I seriously don’t know what’s been going on with her lately. It’s just one thing after another” she adds.
“I guess Y/N/N is having a rough time, maybe?” Leah comments that sounds more like a question, not used to your recent streak of wild behaviour compared to the calm girl you are usually.
“What’s going on with Y/N?” Caitlin overhears the conversation and the mention of your name, before she makes her way over to join the two women, “Is she okay? Has something happened?” she asks, confused.
Lia exhales a sigh as she has to face her ex-girlfriend and speak to her, “The school just called, Y/N is in trouble” she explains once more as she pinches the bridge of her nose.
“What? What happened?” The Australian woman frowns and digs into her own pockets, pulling her phone out to check for any missed calls from the school, “The school hasn’t phoned me about it” she mumbles, furrowing her eyebrow.
“Well there’s no point in phoning both of us when we’re at the same place most of the time, is there?” Lia remarks, not having the time nor energy to explain anything further.
Caitlin continues to frown and shake her head in disagreement, “I should still be kept in the loop with what’s going on. I hardly hear what’s happening with her at the minute” she states.
“You are told what’s going on Caitlin, I don’t keep things from you” Lia exhales a sigh as she tries to keep calm while talking to her ex-girlfriend, “What more do you want me to do?” she asks.
“Aye, that kid. What’d she do this time?” Katie joins in on the conversation, not sensing the seriousness of it all, “Bad mouth the teacher or get caught cheating on a test?” she jokes.
Lia purses her lips in annoyance with the Irish woman, “It’s not funny, Katie” she states, bluntly.
“Oh come on, so the kid gets into a bit of trouble every now and then. It’s not a big deal” Katie insists, rolling her eyes.
“You’re clearly not seeing the point of how serious this is then, Katie” Leah steps in as she can see Lia getting herself annoyed with Katie’s mock teasing, “This isn’t funny, you know Y/N/N and you know that she’s never usually like this at all!” she remarks.
Katie holds her hands up in mock surrender, “Relax, eh, Williamson, will ya? I’m only joking here, there’s no need to take the high ground about this now, is there?” she says and she can’t help but rile the blonde up.
Leah scoffs in disagreement with the brunette, “You know, I wouldn’t be surprised if her behaviour as off lately was down to your antics when she’s around your house on the weekend, cos’ she certainly doesn’t act like this when she’s at Lia’s house” she remarks.
“My antics?” Katie fires back in disbelief.
“Y/N/N acting up isn’t anything to do with how she is at ours” Caitlin chips in and defends the pair of them, “I don’t know what is going on with Y/N/N but this isn’t something that’s neither mine or Katies’ fault” she tells them.
“Oh, really?” Leah scoffs and raises her eyebrows before she looks at the Swiss woman, “Do you want me to come down to the school with you?” she offers.
“Would you?” Lia glances at the blonde in appreciation.
“Of course, I would–” Leahs’ agreement is cut off.
“No way, absolutely not!” Caitlin interjects, very much in disagreement with that decision, “If anyones’ going down to the school with you then it should be me!” she states.
“Caitlin–” Lia begins to speak.
“No, I’m Y/N’s mum just as much as you are, Lia” The Aussie woman insists, not liking the idea of being pushed out of the picture, “We should go down to the school and deal with this together, as a family” she mumbles.
“We broke up Caitlin, we’re not a family anymore” Lia quietly tells her, shaking her head in disagreement, “I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to go down to the school together, Caitlin. I will go with Leah and then I’ll just tell you what happens” she tells her.
“Why not? No offence, Leah but this hasn’t got anything to do with you!” Caitlin objects to the idea as she looks at the blonde.
“I’m going there to support Lia and that’s important right now” Leah explains to the Aussie woman.
Caitlin shakes her head completely in disagreement with the idea, “No, no– I should be there, Y/N is my daughter, not yours!” she points the finger at the blonde firmly before she looks at Lia, “Fine, if you don’t think we should both go down there then why don’t I just go down there? In fact I’ll take Katie, we’ll take her back to ours afterwards instead” she declares.
“Oh yeah, Y/N/N loves Coopurr!” Katie exclaims, in agreement with the suggestion.
“There we have it then. I’ll find out what’s been going on with Y/N/N and then we’ll go back to ours” Caitlin insists with the idea.
Lia shakes her head in disagreement, “Oh, and make it seem like I’m the bad cop when you bring her home?” she questions.
“That’s not what I’m trying to do here, Lia! I’m just trying to help you out here and be the parent that Y/N/N needs– She’s my kid too, you know?” Caitlin shouts back in response, earning the attention of a few girls in the gym, including their captain Kim.
“I’m not saying that she isn’t. I know she is but it’s easier to do it this way” Lia explains, avoiding the looks from the rest of the girls in the gym who look concerned.
“Is it? It just seems like you’re pushing me out of the picture!” Caitlin makes her feelings evidently clear.
“Caitlin has got a point, Lia. You can’t stop her from seeing Y/N/N like you’re trying to do that” Katie chips in, looking at the Swiss woman.
Lia turns to look at Katie in disbelief, “Stay out of this, Katie. This isn’t your argument to get involved in” she says as she begins to collect her stuff. 
“Okay, alright, that’s enough. You’re all causing a scene in here” Kim speaks up loudly as she walks over to them as she overhears the conversation between the 4 adults in the gym, “What is going on?” she asks, glancing between them all.
“Y/N got into trouble at school” Lia begins to explain.
“Yeah, but I wouldn’t have known that unless I didn’t overhear Lia and Leah talking about it” Caitlin huffs and rolls her eyes.
“I told you, I was getting round to it” Lia fires back as she scowls at her ex-girlfriend.
“Yeah, right” Caitlin mutters in disagreement, “ “And now she won’t even let me come down to the school with her, when I have every right to do that!” she adds.
“It’s just better this way, Caitlin” Lia explains to her ex-girlfriend, exhaling a sigh.
“Caitlin has every right to be there for Y/N” Katie chips in defending her girlfriend.
“Why are you getting involved in this, Katie?” Leah questions the Irish women.
“Why are you getting so involved, Leah?” Katie fires back at the blonde.
“Seriously, Katie? You just seem to find this whole thing hilarious like it’s one big joke!” Leah mutters, shaking her head, “I’m right to want to be there for Lia in this” she adds.
Kim shakes her head in disbelief at the 4 of them acting like they are, “Alright, that’s enough. Okay?” Kim interjects in an authoritative tone of voice as she looks between the 2 exes, “Regardless of you all blaming each other, it’s not going to help you figure out what is going on with Y/N/N unless you work together” she tells them.
Lia’s facial expression softens in realisation, “You’re right, Kim. I didn’t think about it that way” she admits as she looks at her ex, “Look Caitlin, I’m not trying to push you away like you think I am. I just think it’ll be difficult for us to both be there, right now. I’m sorry and I know Y/N is your daughter and you do have every right to see her, just as I do but I would prefer to do this with Leah by my side instead, okay? I’ll text you and let you know what is said, but please understand I find it better to do this way” she tells the woman quietly, finding it hard enough to be in the room with her ex-girlfriend without dealing with anything else.
Without saying anything more, Lia and Leah left the gym as they quickly notified Jonas about the recent events, before they head out to the car to make the way down to your school to find out what trouble you’ve landed yourself in this time.
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You knew the single minute that you raised your fist at the girl it would end up in dire consequences, however now finding yourself sitting outside the head teachers’ office with bruised and bloody knuckles, you remain hopeful that this latest stunt was something that both of your mums would be coming down to talk to the head teacher.
Although you still can’t help but wonder how it got so bad?
It wasn’t like you could talk to either of your mums though, because most of the time when you spent time with either of them, you didn’t really want to mention the other in case it brought up any sort of hurt feelings, but you needed them both together.
You didn’t really mean to get yourself in that much trouble today, in fact you’ve never really been one to cause many problems at school if you’re being honest, but you were just so sick of them pushing you around and calling you endless names that you finally had enough and lashed out.
As soon as you hear the sound of footsteps nearing you, you remain hopeful as you look up with eager eyes, hopeful to see your two mums together.
However, you’re severely disappointed when its’ your mama and Leah instead.
This wasn’t how it was supposed to be, you didn’t want Leah to be here with your mama; You wanted your mama and mum together, but why did that seem so impossible to do?
“Hi mama” You mumble, biting your bottom lip as you avoid the disapproving look on both of their faces, “Hi Leah” you acknowledge the presence of the blonde, whos’ stood there obnoxiously chewing gum.
“Hey kid” Leah greets you with a worried smile.
Lia exhales a sigh and shakes her head, “What have you done this time, Y/N/N?” she questions.
“It wasn't my fault” You try to defend yourself, picking at the skin around your nails.
“I find that one hard to believe Y/N. This is the third call I have had from your school this week” Lia reminds you, moving to sit beside you on the uncomfortable plastic chair, “Do you want to tell me what happened before I go in and speak to your head teacher?” she asks.
“Nope” You shake your head in disagreement.
Leah furrows her eyebrows and sits on the other empty chair, “What happened, kid? It’s not like you to be in this much trouble, or acting out in general” she tries to get answers out of you.
You shrug your shoulders carelessly and bite your bottom lip, “Dunno, is mum coming down as well?” you wonder, curiously as you look at Lia.
“No, Y/N/N. It’s just us– Is this why you’ve gotten yourself into trouble at school, so your mum and I would come down together?” Lia asks in realisation, putting the pieces together about it all.
“Maybe, sorta. I don’t know, cos’ it didn’t work anyways” You mumble, deflating your shoulders as you stand up to head into the office after the head teacher calls you all in; Leah and Lia share a look of confusion with another, finding it hard to understand why you would do that as they follow you in behind.
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The result of your behaviour in school leads to you being suspended for the next 2 weeks, which your mama isn’t best pleased with at all if the silence is anything to go by as you trail behind them to the car.
Every time you have tried to talk, you're met with a stern look from the Swiss woman which makes you shut up pretty quickly.
“Mama?” You try your luck to get her a response.
Once again, you were met with complete silence on the car ride back apart from the faint sound of music playing.
“Okay, I know I messed up but how much longer am I going to receive the silent treatment for?” You huff aloud as you peer out the window as your mama drives out of the school car park.
Yet again, complete silence.
“Come on, seriously? The fight wasn’t even my fault in the first place!” You whine in protest, huffing and crossing your arms in the back of the car.
Leah clicks her tongue as she sits in the passenger seat, “You shouldn’t even be fighting in the first place, Y/N” she states sternly.
You resist the urge to roll your eyes and not snap back at the blonde, who you really don’t know why she’s even here, you wanted your mum instead, not her.
“I had my reasons to do it, Leah!” You mutter as you glance out of the window in the back of the car.
“Hey! Be nice” Lia glares at you to knock it off.
“What? I’m not doing anything!” You huff in annoyance and fight the urge to kick the back of her seat, “And I did have a good enough reason!” You still continue to insist.
“I don’t want to hear any of the excuses, Y/N” Lia exhales a sigh, shaking her head.
“But if you just let me explain–” You're cut off before you even have a proper chance to speak.
“Explain what, Y/N/N– How can I be so sure about what you’re telling me when you’ve been acting out like you have been for the last several weeks, huh?” Lia scolds you as she looks in the rear-view mirror, “I don’t know what has even gotten into you anymore, Y/F/N!” she states.
You kinda know that your mama does have a point in saying that, because despite your own rough upbringing with your biological parents, you’ve never really acted out or gotten into much trouble until recently, however with how its’ been the last several weeks, you can’t deny that you haven’t been acting out in an attempt to get the attention both of your mums together in the same room.
It just didn’t work this time round.
You just didn’t know you wouldn’t be able to control the anger any longer and you would end up lashing out like in the way that you did. No matter how many people tried to talk to you to figure out what was going on, nobody really understood what was going on right now.
You can’t help but scoff in response, “You won’t even hear my side of things though, at least I know that mum would take the time to listen to me. Why can’t I go and stay at her house instead?” The words slip out of your mouth without much realisation and it’s definitely loud enough for both women to hear.
“Y/N, your mama wants you to stay with her” Leah chips in.
“Why? And why are you even here when this has nothing to do with you?” You glare at the blonde, although you know it’s not her fault for what’s happening, but despite that you’re a stubborn teenager and refuse to admit when you’re in the wrong sometimes
“Y/N” Lia gasps in shock, “Don’t be rude, you don’t speak to people like that” she scolds you.
“It’s the truth though” You mumble and technically, you’re telling the truth about that one.
The Swiss woman shook her head in disagreement, “There’s no need to be so rude, okay? I won’t stand for it, so apologise please– And you know when it comes to you, that your mum and I are both on the same page” she tells you.
“Are you? Cos’ all you ever seem to do is fight these days” You remark snidefully.
“That’s not true, Y/N/N” Lia frowns at you.
“Yes it is, you guys always argue about me– I can’t even tell you how I feel, so I was only defending myself like how mum taught me to do” You explain to the older women.
“What!?” Lia exclaims in shock.
“Mum taught me self defence in case I ever needed to use it. Definitely showed them that today cos’ now they won’t mess with me again” You grin proudly to yourself.
“Are you… Of course she bloody did” Lia mutters, clenching her hands on the steering wheel.
“Calm down, Wally” Leah rests her hand on the older womens’ thigh.
“Mama, you’re clenching your fists. You might want to just chill out a bit” You note in concern as Lia looks angry and you realise you’re going in a different direction back home, “Where are we going?” you ask.
“Change of plan, Y/N. We’re going to see your mum after all” Lia states as she grips the steering wheel tighter.
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© scribblesofagoonerr
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mysunshinetemptress · 1 month
Text
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2007
Leah Williamson x brothers best friend!reader
Warnings: thought I better post something so here’s part 2 of 2005, slow burn to shit
You huffed taking a breath after passing the ball up the pitch to find Jacobs feet letting out a smile as you sprinted towards the boy ready to congratulate him on the goal "what a goal Jacob." Jacob grabbed you squeezing you tightly "that long ball assist Y/n I swear you have gotten so good." The pair smiled at each other before hearing Amanda and Natalie screaming at them to get back to their positions as their opponents took tip to restart.
Leah couldn’t help but laughed at the six year old holding her medal looking at it like she had won the World Cup "happy with it then." You looked up at the now ten year old "I know it doesn't compare to any of your Arsenal medals Lee but this is my first one." Leah smiled grabbing the medal to look at it "nah this medal is better then any of my ones trust me." You couldn't help but smile happily as you grabbed the older girls hand walking to the car. "Hey don't leave me behind." The pair turned to Jacob as he ran up holding his golden boot trophy under his arm "Leah, Y/n guess what Dad told me there's trials at Tottenham and that I could go he signed me up already." Leah smiled at her younger brother "that's great buddy you will do amazing, but Y/n." You looked up at Leah "what do we think of Tottenham." You looked around quickly for any parents that might scold you before whispering to Leah "shit." Leah laughed before continuing on "and what do we think of shit." You couldn’t help but smile at Jacob as he pretend to be annoyed "Tottenham." Leah laughed swinging her hand that was holding Y/n’s "that's my girl." Jacob let out a laugh "no it's no she's my best friend." Leah smiled tugging you towards her "oh yeah bet you can't take her away from me." The pair gotten into a friendly fight of pulling and pushing you between each other as you laughed.
Jacob had been gone all day at the Tottenham trial as you sat in the front garden waiting for any sign of him. Amanda looked out her window watching the younger girl smiling softly before going out to you "hi missus what are you doing sat out here." You looked up smiling softly at the older woman "waiting for Jacob so we can play." Amanda looked at you confused"oh honey he won't be home till Sunday night  did he not tell you his dad and him are going to the match tomorrow after his trials today." You sighed standing up dusting yourself off letting out a quite oh in disappointment, Amanda's eyes softened as she looked at the girl "I'll tell you what is your Mum home." You nodded "right then let's head inside while I talk to her for a second." You sat in between Charlie and Melia tapping your leg against the couch as you anxiously waited to see what the older women were talking about, “Y/n stop moving your leg it’s so annoying” Melia snarled as she let out a huff you apologised quietly stopping your movements before your mum called for you "Hey Pumpkin could you come here for a second." You raced off the couch happy to get away from your sisters and into the kitchen. "I was just talking to your Mum and Leah and I have a spare ticket to the Arsenal women's match in Meadow park tomorrow as well why don't you come with me to Leah's training for Arsenal you can see what it's like tonight and your Mum has said if I think your good you can have a sleepover yeah." Your eyes lit up like you had just been told you was getting a puppy "can I really that would be so cool." Amanda smiled at the young girl "go get your clothes and head over to me when your ready then we will go get leah alright." You didn't need to be told twice as you raced up the stairs.
You stood on the sidelines watching the older girls go through their drills as Amanda stood beside her "you ok Y/n." You didn't take your eyes off the scene in front of you but nodded letting out a soft hum. The girls had broken into pair's practicing their passing when Leah looked around realising they where a player down "Lucy pair off with Casey I'll get a new partner." Leah walked over towards her Mum and the younger girl "everything alright Bubs." Leah smiled nodding at her mum "all good we are just a player short Y/n want to pass with me." Your eyes sparkled nodding your head before grabbing her hand as the older girl led you over before grabbing the ball "right stand here and we are doing long passes y/n just like in the back garden yeah." You nodded getting ready to receive the ball "and don't worry if yours goes the wrong way alright” Amanda couldn't help the smile that took over her face as she watched the pair pass back and forth you concentrating extra hard trying to make sure you could connect it to Leah as best as possible. "That was perfect y/n now this one is chipping it yeah” you nodded again getting ready to receive the ball. Leah's teammates watched on amazed as the six year old connected some of the balls to Leah as well as received it on a first touch no problem.
You was passed out in the back of the car on the drive home as the trio made their way back both Leah and Amanda keeping an eye on the younger girl making sure she was comfortable "I think you have a teammate in a few years Bubba." Leah smiled watching you sleep.
You woke up excitement coursing through her with the realisation that they would be going to an Arsenal match today. Leah groaned at the sound of her door opening "Lee it's match day." Leah let out a huff "I know but shhh it's not time to get up yet y/n go back to sleep." You sighed before looking at Leah “can I stay in here.” Leah sighed pulling open her duvet “come on.” You smiled running over to her and snuggling into Leah's chest closing your eyes as Leah welcomed it knowing she would get a lie in.
The pair had been screaming the minute Arsenal where lead out by Kelly Smith all the way to the final whistle when Leah had grabbed your hand pulling her in front of her as the players began their lap "stand here they might come over then mum can take a picture yeah." You nodded watching excitedly as Alex Scott came over "hi there what's your name "Y/n oh my god your Alex Scott you’re my favourite." Alex smiled looking at Leah "who's this then "you smiled at the older girl "this is my second best friend Leah she's a massive Arsenal fan." Alex laughed at Leah's offended face at the second place she had just been awarded "shall we take a photo and sign something." You nodded turning to smile at the camera Amanda was holding beside Leah grabbing her hand as a comfort before turning back to Alex "I don't have anything for you to sign but Leah has her jersey." Alex smiled signing Leah's jersey before looking around "I'll tell you what have mine I'll sign it." You nodded you head enthusiastically muttering out a thank you before Alex began taking off her jersey. Leah couldn't help but laugh as she watched the likes of Kelly Smith and Rachel Yankey make there way over offering to sign the jersey and Isla refusing but taking a photo instead stating it was an Alex Scott jersey and she was the only signature allowed (something that both you and Alex would laugh about shortly after becoming friends)
The excitement of the Arsenal match lingered in the air as you and Leah made your way back home. "That was amazing, Lee!" you exclaimed, your eyes still sparkling from meeting some of the players. Leah grinned, her excitement matching yours. "I'm glad you enjoyed it, Y/n. Maybe one day, you'll be out there playing with them." The thought made your heart race with excitement. "I'd love that, Lee! I'll train hard, just like you do." Leah tousled your hair affectionately. "I have no doubt about that, Y/n. You're a natural."
As the days passed, you found yourself spending more and more time on the pitch, honing your skills and soaking in every bit of advice Leah offered. You were determined to improve, fueled by your passion for the game and the dream of one day playing for Arsenal (or Man United) just like Leah.
At Leah's next training session, you were invited to join in a mini-match with some of the younger players. Your heart pounded with excitement as you stepped onto the field, wearing a borrowed Arsenal jersey that was a bit too big for you. But none of that mattered as you chased after the ball, dribbling past defenders with a skill that surprised even yourself.
Leah watched proudly from the sidelines, cheering you on with Amanda by her side. As the final whistle blew, you collapsed onto the grass, exhausted but exhilarated. "You were amazing out there, Y/n!" Leah exclaimed, rushing over to give you a high-five. You grinned up at her, feeling a sense of accomplishment like never before.
That night, as you lay in bed replaying the day's events in your mind, you couldn't shake the feeling of pure joy that filled your heart. Whether it was scoring goals on the pitch or simply spending time with Leah.
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samkerrworshipper · 20 days
Text
have no fear
jordan nobbs x reader, leah williamson x reader, arsenal x reader
part 2 of beautiful girl series -> pt. 1 -> pt.3
warnings: drug addiction, drug use, angst, pain, mentions of sexual assault, little bit of fluff if you look really close
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So with every last piece of strength that you had in your body, you pulled the door open.
“Hey chicky.”
You tried to smile at your ma, you did, but it was hard.
“Hey ma.”
You knew you had to look like a wreck, you hadn’t had time to look in a mirror on your way down, but you knew that you must look like a complete mess.
Jordan brought you into a hug before you could do anything about it her little arms squeezing your body as tightly as you thought she could manage.
She forced her way into the house before you could say anything about it, walking her way into the kitchen and leaving you close the door behind her.
“Le said you were out last night.”
You followed your ma into the kitchen, walking straight to the coffee pot.
“You want coffe?”
Jordan had always been the stricter of your two parents, probably because she saw you less, Leah was the one who had to do the hard yards, constantly fighting with you over the biggest and smallest things.
“Tea please, how late where you out till, who were you with?”
You turned the machine on, trying to hide your annoyance at the immediate interrogation.
“Did you come here to see me or question my choices?”
You pulled two mugs from the shelf, reaching for the kettle and pouring enough water in before reaching for a tea bag.
“I came here to see you chicky, and catch up with you, I want to hear about what’s been going on.”
You dropped the tea bag into the cup, reaching across the island to hand it to your ma.
“I was out with a few friends.”
You pulled your vape out of your pocket, hoping that it would help to soothe the insistent memory of the events of last night and push it from the forefront of your mind.
“What’s that?”
You looked up at Jordan curiously, one of your own eyebrows raising.
“What’s what?”
You looked back at the coffee machine, watching as your mug slowly began to fill up with the brown mixture.
“Since when do you vape?”
You pulled your mug out from the machine, setting down on the island so you were facing your ma.
“A couple of months, why?”
You reached for the sugar container, taking the spoon out of it and dropping two spoonfuls in.
“Does your mother know?”
The shock in Jordan’s voice was so obvious.
“Yup.”
It was all good and well for Jordan to judge Leah’s decisions with parenting you, but at the end of day she’d been the one to leave, refusing to take you with her, insisting that life in London was better for you and that passing you back and forth between Birmingham and London every week wouldn’t be fair, she left you.
“How’s football been?”
The pivot in conversation should have helped, but you knew that it wouldn’t as soon as the words had left her mouth.
“I stopped playing.”
Jordan frowned at you.
“Since when?”
You brought the coffee up to your lips, finding solace in the warm liquid.
“A while ago.”
You wished she’d drop the topic, she seemed to be becoming more disappointed by the minute.
“Why, you were great, you were one of the best a the academy.”
You were one of the best because Leah spent all of her afternoons coaching you, because she knew the coaches, because she knew what she had to do to make you better, not because you were naturally gifted or because it came easy to you.
“I didn’t want to.”
You ried to answer her with some finality, to make her drop it and move on.
“How about school, how are your gcse’s going?”
You wanted to lie to her and tell her it was good, that you were on track to get all A stars like you’d planned.
“I don’t think I’m going to do them, my attendance isn’t high enough.”
Jordan’s face plummeted, her jaw going slack as she looked at you.
“What? I thought you wanted to go to college, that you were planning on doing medicine or law or english lit.”
You hated that Jordan had this preconceived version of you in her head, from when she left, from when she used to travel every weekend to see you, when you were doing everything to try and be the perfect kid for the both of them.
“Plans change.”
You kept your eyes downcast, scared to look at her and absorb the disappointment.
“What do you plan to do, without an education and your football? Do you plan to just live with your mother forever? Do you plan to use her until she’s old and retired? You can’t just live your life like that chicky, you need a goal, a aspiration, something you want to do with your life.”
It was the same conversation Leah had tried to have with you, one you’d ignored.
“I know ma.”
Jordan looked at you with disapproval.
“It doesn’t seem like you do, what are your plans, what are you spending all of your time doing?”
Getting high, crying, regretting your existence.
“I don’t know Ma, look, you don’t get to come here for the first time in a month and try to act like you give a shit about what’s going on, Mom’s been through it and I’ve been trying to support her, I’ll figure it all out later.”
Jordan looked dismayed, to say the least, her finger twirling the teabag inside of her cup aimlessly.
“Lovey, your mom is in a lot of pain right now, she doesn’t deserve to be taken advantage of, I understand you might be going through your own pain but it’d be nice if you could try and be a bit better for her.”
You wanted to yell at jordan, tell her that you were hardly the fucking problem, but you couldn’t, not when everything that had happened in the last 24 hours was circulating non stop in your mind.
“Look, I understand that I’m not the kid you wanted, that I stopped playing football and I’m not doing what you wanted me to.”
Jordan stopped you before you could say much more.
“No it’s just that months ago you were fit, you were reading and writing and playing football, you were smiling and spending all of your spare time with your mom and now it’s like all of that’s changed and you’ve just become this person I don’t know anymore. Can you blame me for being surprised? This isn’t you, This isn’t my kid, this just isn’t you, chicky.”
You couldn’t look at Jordan, you just couldn’t.
“You have no fucking idea what’s going on, you’re never here, the only time you give a fuck about my life is when it’s convenient for you and when you get to judge it. I’m not your kid anymore, you don’t fucking love me, you haven’t wanted me for a long time.”
Jordan recoiled at your words.
“First of all, don’t swear at me, I hope you don’t talk to your mother that way. Secondly, that’s not true and not fair. I’m here as often as I can be. I love you chick, I just think you could be making better decisions. Where were you last night?”
You rolled your eyes, you felt frantic, you could feel your heart beating in your ear and the blood pumping through your veins.
“That’s such bullshit. Trips to Spain to see Lucy are more important then me, huh? Trips to Ibiza to hang out with Caitlin and Katie are more important than me? You criticise the decisions mom has made but you aren’t here, you don’t understand what it’s like.”
Your hands were shaking so badly you had to put your coffee down, the liquid having spilt slightly down onto the countertop.
“Where were you last night, lovey?”
The question made you feel like you needed to puke, and for a second you thought it was just a feeling, but then you felt the bile rising and you realised it wasn’t just a feeling, you were about to vomit.
You rushed from the kitchen as quickly as your weary body would allow, your legs shaking underneath you, threatening to give out, taunting you from below.
You made it to the toilet bowl just in time for your jaw to go slack and the bile that had been rising in your throat to splat against the porcelain. You didn’t look at it, you couldn’t, knowing that it was probably evidence of what had happened last night, the alcohol, him.
You didn’t need to see Jordan to know she was waiting at the door behind you. It was the last way you wanted to spend your couple of hours with her, but it didn’t really matter now you supposed.
You knew you were done when the pressure in your throat dissipated and you finally felt like you could breathe again. You pushed yourself up, flushing the toilet before turning around to look at Jordan.
Your Ma reached out for you first, her hand coming up to your face, gently pressing onto your cheek.
“It’s alright bubba, I’m here, you’re okay, I’m sorry.”
Jordan’s arms opened up and without hesitation you leaned in, seeking out comfort that you hadn’t felt in a long time. The hug didn’t provide the love you were yearning for, it didn’t soothe the part of you that was hurting, but it did patch a hole inside of you somewhere.
You were far taller than Jordan, but she somehow made you feel like a little kid again, your head coming to rest down on her shoulder.
“C’mon, let’s get you to the couch and we’ll talk, huh, one on one, no judgement.”
You felt eight again as Jordan lead you over to the same couch. You felt how you did when you were eight, when your moms sat you down and promised you that they would always be a safe space for you, that you could tell them anything about the past and they wouldn’t judge you and that they’d always be proud of you no matter what, you felt how you did at 12 when your moms sat you down to let you know that the academy had asked them if you wanted to play with them, you felt how you did at 14 when your moms sat you down to let you know that your teacher wanted to put you up a form at school. Except everything was different, it wasn’t your moms, there was nothing to be proud of, nothing for them to tell you you were doing good at.
Jordan sat you down, your head pressed to her shoulder.
“I’m sorry that I was rough on you, okay? I don’t know what’s going on, I’m not here as much as I should be. Can you tell me about last night, bubba, please?”
You didn’t get why she cared so much, your mom hardly cared what you did on your nights out as long as you were home by your curfew and stayed safe.
“I went to a party, okay? It’s no big deal.”
You heard Jordan exhale next to you.
“You didn’t do anything stupid?”
You wondered what Jordan would define as stupid.
“I drank a little, smoked a bit of pot, normal teenage shit.”
You wanted it to be the truth, desperately, but it wasn’t.
“That’s it?”
Jordan knew you were lying, she’d always been better at telling, Leah on the other hand wasn’t as practised in being able to detect when lies were falling freely from your lips.
“Yes, for fucks sakes.”
Jordan only tightened her embrace around you, bringing her as close to you as possible. Leah had stopped hugging you like this when she’d done her knee, it had become harder and she knew you were growing up, she didn’t think you needed her in that way anymore, she was so incredibly wrong.
“Okay, I’m sorry chicky, I’ll stop with the questions. Let’s just have a you and me day, huh? Like we used to. We can go to the cafe that you like and down to the beach, whatever you want, just a you and me day.”
You didn’t want any of that.
“Can’t we just stay on the couch.”
You heard jordan chuckle a little bit.
“How about we go and get breakfast and then we can have a movie day, or we can catch up on the episodes of Love Island, I haven’t gotten to watching the new season yet.”
You didn’t want to go anywhere, you wanted to stay in your safe space, up in your room on your windowsill.
“Do we have to.”
Jordan nodded from above you.
“Fresh air will be good for you. Plus, you want to get a mean hangover then that’s your own fault chicky, it’s best to learn the hard way. Head upstairs and get changed, I need to talk to your mom real quick.”
You wanted to stick around to hear what Jordan planned to tell your mom, but you didn’t want to wreck whatever you had going with her, so you just nodded your head and stood up, beginning the walk back up to your room.
You hated looking at yourself in the mirror.
Because you could act like you were fine, you could pretend you were put together and had your life together and fool yourself but as soon as you were forced to look at yourself it all was clear. There was truth in your eyes and the way they made your body look so vacant, so eerie, it was as if they were the sign that there was no life left inside of you.
You’d always felt out of place no matter where you were, like you never truly belonged. You’d always felt like you were one of those tragic people with no storyline, so you lived watching other people, living through them. To start with it had been your moms, watching how much they loved each other, how they looked at each other, how they spoe about each other, like you were a background character in their story. It worked for a long time, until it didn’t. Until they split up, until you were forced to heal all over again from the home that was breaking around you. All the things you’d been running from before them were back, and instead of feeling like you were safe you knew you weren’t, you knew that no matter how loved you’d felt for the longest time, you weren’;t anymore, you didn’t get to live vicariously through their love.
You scrubbed your face without any real care, scrubbing the makeup, mascara and tears from last night off of your face.
Once you were content that the were physically gone, even if it mentally didn’t feel that way, you stood up from the basin and dried your face, hoping the patting would somehow strip the pain that was painted across your skin, it didn’t.
You moved to your wardrobe next, picking out a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, as well as your thickest winter jacket. It was the same thing you wore every time your mom forced you out of the house to go on some stupid errand with her or some random appointment. You picked out a comfy enough pair of trainers before pushing your hair into a bun and walking back down the stairs.
Your Ma was talking hushedly into her phone, and put it down as soon as she spotted you descending the stairs.
“Ready to go?”
You nodded, one of your eyebrows up in questioning as you stared at your Ma’s phone.
“I was just checking in with your mom, she says they should be back around lunch time.”
Then Jordan would leave, like she always did.
“I’m not a chore, if you don’t want to hangout with me then you don’t have to be here, I can be left alone for a couple of hours.”
Jordan exhaled, deep enough for a few seconds to linger.
“That’s not fair, I’m here kiddo, I want to spend some time with you.”
You pulled your vape out of your pocket, Jordan could tell when you were lying and you could tell when she was.
“No, you have to spend time with me until mom is back, there is a difference.”
In the beginning, Jordan would come down every weekend, no matter where her game was, just to spend time with her little chicky, as the months and year had passed though, her time with you had become shorter and shorter until you’d only see her if she had a game in London.
“I don’t care, I get it, you’re busy with your new life, it’s whatever. Let’s just get this over and done with.”
Jordan looked like she wanted to say something, but the frown you sent her must have been enough of a silencer.
The two of you walked out the front door silent, down the street silent, all the way to the cafe, completely silent, the only sound to be heard was the cars going by, the sounds of your breathing and the repetitive puff of your lips as you pressed the vape to your lips. If you couldn’t have drugs then it was going to have to do.
When you got to the cafe you had enough courtesy to shove it in your pocket, focusing your attention on your Ma as much as you hated it.
She ordered you your normal, you were surprised she remembered.
“How’d the game go last night?”
You hadn’t tuned into either games, you’d had other things on your mind.
“We drew, it was a good game though.”
You nodded, it didn’t matter much in the scheme of things, Aston Villa weren’t in a title race, weren’t in contention for a trophy of any kind but also weren’t at any real risk of relegation, they were just mid.
“How about mom?”
Leah wasn’t playing, but a part of you still cared about how her team had gone.
“They won, 1-2 to man city.”
You nodded, that was something.
Your food arrived which was a good enough distraction, both you and Jordan focusing your attention on the meals in front of you. A couple of years ago, all of your sunday mornings had been spent here with your two moms, nowadays if you went, which was rare, it was by yourself.
The meal went on in awkward silence, the both of you clearly unsure how to deal with the pent up awkwardness that had been developing since you’d left the house.
The meal dragged on until the two of you couldn’t pretend any longer and called it done, the two of you standing up and leaving in the same silence you’d entered.
You didn’t mind the silence, it hurt, but not in the same way that it normally did, you were less alone than normal, you felt less out of place then normal.
You were silently praying that your mom got home earlier than expected, to give you the same normal, painful consistency that you were used to instead of this, instead of whatever it is that Jordan was pulling out of you.
The two of you walked back to the house in silence, once upon a time Blu would have been walking in front of you, her little legs patting across the concrete, nowadays though Blu stayed in Birmingham, with Jordan. Leah claimed she didn’t have time for a dog, it had always been Jordan’s thing though.
When you got back to the house, you collapsed down onto the sofa, flicking on a episode of love island before opening up your phone and starting to answer the multiple texts which you’d been leaving on delivered.
First, you replied to your friends, letting them know you were fine and just needed to be home before your curfew, then your mom, letting her know you were fine. Once you were finished updating all of your people, you moved onto aimlessly scrolling, flicking through different social media posts.
Jordan eventually joined you on the couch, her attention on the episode.
You didn’t miss the way her eyes would stray towards you every few seconds, darting away from the tv screen to look at you. It seemed like she was hesitating to say something, like there words on the tip of tongue that she was too scared to say. Jordan was always the silent one, even as you watched your moms relationship die out, she was always the quiet one, Leah on the other hand was always the loud one, always trying to fix problems that were unfixable.
You wanted to prompt her, ask her what her apparent problem was, but you stayed silent, muzzling yourself for the good of keeping whatever peace there was between the two of you.
PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SEND ME YOUR PART THREE IDEAS, KEEPING IN MIND THAT LEAH POTENTIALLY FINDS OUT ABOUT RS WEED USAGE AND CONFRONTS HER ABOUT IT BUT DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT THE DRUGS
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mead-iocre · 4 months
Text
Our New Normal | Leah Williamson x Reader
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Our New Normal (1/4)
“Okay girls. We’re starting in a bit. Everyone ready? 
You force your eyes away from the grinning blonde beside you, trying to smother your grin underneath your palm. It was media day and you were currently sat beside your teammate, best mate, and girlfriend– Leah. That was normal. These days, the social media team often choose to partner the both of you together for content because of the “natural chemistry” you both have; plus, the fans seem to echo the same thoughts– the proof lies in the large amount of views the videos of you two would get on the team’s Youtube channel. To those outside of the team, and your friends and family, most people only know the two of you to be really (really) good friends who happen to play for the same team. Those close to you know that the two of you have been dating for a little over a year now. 
You and Leah had first met playing for the England U17 team, instantly clicking and forming a friendship that was tested when you both ended up signing for different clubs. Leah signed her first senior contract with Arsenal; meanwhile, you had chosen to stick with the club that had offered you the best contract as a promising young talent– Manchester United. This meant that for a while, the only chance to meet up with the Arsenal defender was during match days where your teams played against each other, or during England camp. Memories of swapping roommate arrangements so you could room together, and early morning walks to catch the sunrise are some of your most treasured memories till this day. It was hard to say goodbye to the blonde after international break was over, but as they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder. 
And that was very true in this case. 
In between late night conversations and good morning texts, and the frequent weekend getaways from Manchester to London whenever either of you had time to spare outside of football, it was hard not to fall for her.
You always knew athletes were your type– your childhood crushes were David Beckham and Marta– but it still surprised you when you came to the glaring realisation that you were in love with your best friend. There was a lot to love about her– from her calm and collected demeanour, her ability to make you laugh, the way she seems so wise beyond her years, her passion for the sport, and the way that she just gets you. Hand on your heart, you could wholeheartedly swear that no one else in this world understands you better than Leah.
That was why when your agent told you that Arsenal had put in an offer for your transfer that coming season, you did not hesitate to express your own interest in joining the club. Not only was Arsenal a dream club for a lot of other players considering it’s rich history in success in women’s footballl, but Leah was there too.
And speaking of Leah, you were adamant that Leah was not to know about your potential transfer to Arsenal. You did not want to risk disappointing the blonde if things did not work out the way you wanted them to. After all, football is unpredictable. 
A few weeks into the transfer window and you were already patting yourself on the back for how tight-lipped you’ve been about your next club– with offers coming from Chelsea and Lyon coming in and creating buzz on social media amongst fans and football journalists. Leah knew that your contract was up this summer, and being the nosy person that she is, she has been pestering and trying to get you to spill where you’ll be heading next. Not a day goes by where Leah isn’t slyly bringing up your transfer into one of your conversations.  
——————————————
“Twitter says you’ll be going to Lyon” You roll your eyes at the blonde in front of you. As usual, you had decided to spend your pre-season break in London, mainly to see Leah, but also so you and your agent can meet with a couple of people at Arsenal to further negotiate your potential transfer in person– which Leah obviously does not know about. 
You bring your mug up to your lips, hoping to hide the grin that was forming on your lips. Leah has recently started bringing up the transfer rumours that were making their rounds on social media, and every time you tried to brush them off, the blonde would grumble and moan about how you rude it was that you were keeping her in the dark. 
You came into town late last night and slept over in the guest room at Leah’s flat. She proudly pointed out the new dresser she bought a few weeks ago and told you that you can start leaving some of your clothes and stuff inside so that when you come over next time, you won’t have to bring so much. 
For a moment, you were worried she knew about the transfer. But then again, that was just Leah– thoughtful, sweet Leah. 
“Didn’t know Twitter was my agent now” You send her a cheeky smile over the rim of your coffee mug. Leah narrowed her eyes at you at your obvious attempt to ignore the real question. She reached up to adjust the grey beanie warming her head from the slight chill outside, fidgeting around to make sure her freshly cut bangs were still neatly tucked underneath the beanie. 
“So where are these rumours coming from then?” You watched her scowl down at her mug, avoiding your eyes, and instead picking at the brown napkin sitting by her saucer. She scrunched the napkin in her fist tightly, before smoothing it out again on the table with both her palms. She was nervous, you can tell. You wouldn’t have heard the next bit if she had said it any quieter. “Lyon is too far. don’t want you to be so far”
You put your mug down back and place your palm on top of Leah’s. It’s moments like this where you want to share the news of your potential transfer to her club, but you would hate to break her heart if it doesn't even up going through. You didn’t want to get her hopes up for nothing. You notice her palm is a bit cold so you inch forward in your seat, closer to the blonde in front of you, and hold her hand in both of yours. You rub and squeeze her hand, playfully bending down to blow warm air onto them, hoping to share some warmth with her. She gives you a small grin in return, keeping her hand snug in yours. 
“I can promise you, Lee, I’m not going to Lyon. I want to stay in the WSL” 
“I don’t understand why you won’t just tell me” Leah was stubborn, you knew this, but sometimes it astounds you just how determined she is to get her way.
“Because there is nothing to tell yet, Lee” You give her hands another rub, your thumb tracing the lines of her palm. Her hands were a lot warmer now thanks to them being cocooned in your own. “Louis said we are getting offers but we want to take our time and make the right choice– you know how he is about the transfer business.”
Maybe it’s the way she’s looking at you, or maybe it’s the way her hand fits nicely in yours, but you want to give her something that can ease her mind a bit. “I heard a few London clubs are interested and have put offers down…“ 
You were obviously talking about Arsenal, but the blonde didn’t know that. 
“Oh fuck off. It’s true then– Chelsea?” You wince slightly at the sudden increase in volume in her voice. From the corner of your eye you see a few customers turn their heads towards your table, probably cursing you both for ruining the peace and quiet inside the coffee shop. Leah attempts to tug her hand free from your grasp, but you don’t let her. “Shush, Lee. You’re being too bloody loud–” 
“Yeah well sorry about that, I just heard my best mate might be going to our biggest club rival”
You squeeze her hand in warning again when her voice continues to go beyond what was sociably acceptable on an early Sunday morning in a quiet cafe. Pretty blue eyes meet yours, eyebrows furrowed, lips slightly parted, ready to argue back against whatever comes next; the slight wrinkle in the middle of her forehead just begging to be smoothed out by your thumb, so you do exactly that. “stop frowning, Lee. Your whole face will get wrinkly” 
She moves her face away from your touch, annoyance clearly written all over her face. You can tell she was up to her limit with how secretive you were being because it’s never been like this between the two of you– you usually tell each other everything.
“Nah think ‘bout what I’d look like if you signed for Chelsea then! I wouldn’t even want to look at you anymore”
You frown at that. Ouch. You snatch your wrist out from her hold. “You don’t mean that–“
She must’ve seen the hurt on your face, because her gaze immediately softens and she shifts forward in her seat. “No, no of course not, baby”  
That was normal.
Leah was the kind of person who had nicknames for everyone close to her. It wasn’t unusual for her to slip in a term of endearment here and there, although you were certain it was purely platonic. That doesn’t stop your heart from skipping a beat every time you hear it directed at you.
Leah reaches out, grabs one of your hands and intertwines your fingers together. Her hands aren’t as cold anymore and they feel nice against your own. This is normal too. Leah might not seem like it to others, but she can be incredibly affectionate– or least with you she is. She loves to randomly grab your hand and hold it in hers during walks, she always wants to share your blanket during movie nights even if there are other blankets, she’ll tug you over so you can sit on her lap– saying something about “so there’s space for others to sit, baby”– and she’ll always kiss your cheek hello and goodbye. 
With the hand that’s not currently occupied with your own, she reaches out and gently nudges your chin up so your eyes meet. “Hey. I always want to see you. I was only jokin” 
She grins and winks at you before she continues with a sight pout on her lips. “I just really don’t want to see you in blue”
“Oi! I’d look good in blue, Williamson” You proclaim a little too loudly, jolting in your seat. You were far too caught up in your conversation with Leah to realise that this time it was you who was disrupting the quiet, even almost spilling your mug of coffee over from where it sits by your arm in the process. Leah notices and immediately goes to move your mug further away from you– just in case. 
“I know you already look good in blue, baby. Any shade of blue really. Just not Chelsea Blue”
——————————————
It’s weeks later, and the deal has finally been made. You were going to be a Gunner. Just like Leah. You had made another trip down to London, this time without seeing Leah, so you can shoot and film content for the announcement to go up on social media. Although there were a few reports online that listed Arsenal as a potential club for your next move, it was always overshadowed by fans and journalists wholeheartedly believing that you were off to Lyon all thanks to your agent’s cheeky media “leaks”. Once Leah caught wind of Arsenal’s interest in you, she apparently started pestering Jonas if there was any truth behind it. Luckily, you managed to convince him to play along with your secret and keep her in the dark. But that will all change soon. 
You spent a few hours at the Emirates taking photos with your new red and white kit, filming your first interview as a Gunner, and filming a few shorter videos for tiktok. Now that it’s official, the only thing going through your head was how you will tell your best friend. Obviously, you wanted to tell her before the rest of the world found out, but you didn’t know how. Eventually you decided that the simpler, the better. Although it’s a special occasion– the mere idea of being in the same team with Leah for both club and country is exciting– but it’s not a proposal or anything, so you don’t know why you were overthinking this. 
It only has to be you and Leah. That would be enough. 
(Pt. 2 coming soon!)
Our New Normal Pt. 2
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my first fic on this site. pls be nice :)
-- kisses, butter.
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