#back at it again w the new post editor. for anyone paying attention to this thrilling saga: im still enraged | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kuiinncedes · 3 years

Note

PROMPT LIST? cheerio!tina & skank!quinn, angst #37, quinntina ofc

yes prompt list!! sorry this took so long, thanks sm for prompting sim <33

some pre-notes: first that wow this got long again 😂 2398 words (before probably some edits in the tumblr post editor) *oops i did it again*

1 2 3 these are my other three (very short) “installments” for this “verse” i guess 🤪 i wouldn’t say it’s required to read them tho i think everything is pretty understandable 🥰

this also got a little anti rachel lol 🥴 and anti schue but like yeah and i think that’s it 😗

Angst 37: “Lie to me. I don’t care what you say, just lie to me. Make me feel okay again.”

Glee club has been going well… all things considered.

Including the fact that Quinn’s crush on Tina only grows, that Rachel Berry still doesn’t seem to warm up to her and Kurt’s presence in the choir room, that the teacher really kind of sucks and apparently only Kurt and Quinn see it, that most of the other members are still wary around them - around Quinn.

But not Tina. Tina, who’s one of the most popular girls in school, not actually head of the Cheerios but probably the most well-liked, and there’s a reason. Tina is the first to welcome her and Kurt to the glee club after their audition, the first to make an effort to befriend them. She talks to Kurt about fashion, and Kurt is hesitant to bring down his facade but Quinn can tell how much he loves it, how much he’s missed talking about something that brings him so much joy. Even with his temporary and purposely limited wardrobe situation, he’s talked Quinn’s ear off about the things he wants to do and wear in New York City; she doesn’t understand much of it so she’s glad Tina does.

And she talks to Quinn. Tina actually talks to Quinn like… like she’s a person, just another student at this school, not Quinn Fabray, half of the most cold and closed-off duo that walks the halls, ex-most popular girl in school, Quinn Fabray with an unspeakable history, unspeakable in that Quinn will have consequences for those who speak about it.

It’s dramatic, she knows. But it’s part of her untouchable image at this piece of shit school with its horrible students.

Not Tina. Tina’s not horrible.

(Get a grip, Fabray.)

It feels like she and Kurt are on the edge of a precipice with glee club. Tina likes them, Blaine is nice enough to them (Kurt seems to like him, too), Rachel isn’t very welcoming, everyone else mostly ignores them. (Which is fine - preferable, really.)

They sway in the back, they sing, they do their part. And Quinn has missed singing, so it’s not all bad, she supposes.

But Quinn can feel the tension, the others’ hesitation whenever she and Kurt walk in to sit in the back, their unspoken thoughts, loud in their silence, their barely hidden glances.

She feels like she’ll tumble from the edge with one push.

One day, Tina sits beside Quinn and she can’t stop her jump of surprise. Tina just shoots her a small smile and moves her chair a bit further away, but Quinn finds herself wishing she would scoot the other way instead.

Tina keeps sitting by Quinn, and Quinn has no idea why.

She ignores the way her heart speeds up a little every time she makes eye contact with Tina, the way Kurt smirks knowingly at her but then returns to staring at the back of Blaine Anderson’s head, the way she can’t stop letting her eyes wander over to Tina every time Mr. Schuester starts talking about something she has no interest in (which she admits is very often).

Kurt had said glee would give her the chance to talk to Tina. And he was right - she’s made conversation with Tina multiple times (mostly initiated by Tina, though), and she would say they’re friends. Tina has said they’re friends and she definitely didn’t freak out to Kurt about it.

Kurt she called me her friend holy shit -

Inside voice, honey. Your gay is showing.

Shut - we’re literally outside. Let’s talk about you and Blaine.

Nope, fuck you, walking away now.

Kurt - wait! She - but she called me her friend - Kurt -

Besides Kurt, Tina is probably the person she’s closest with. Which still doesn’t say much - she’s not close to anyone besides Kurt…

But she wants to be, she thinks as she watches Tina perform an upbeat solo, a song she doesn’t recognize, but she watches her - how alive she looks, how good she sounds. It’s not like Quinn hasn’t heard her sing in the months since she’s joined, but if she had it her way, Tina would be the only one singing in this entire group. (She would insist on highlighting others, though, so Quinn adds herself and Kurt to that list. Not that they would ever get a solo.)

“All right, guys,” Mr. Schuester says. Kurt nudges Quinn with his elbow to get her to pay attention, and she shoots him a half-hearted glare.

“So that was everyone who signed up to audition for a solo at regionals,” he continues. “I’ll let you know who we’re featuring by tomorrow. So I’ll see you then!”

“Who do you think is gonna get it?” Kurt asks as they leave, walking out to the parking lot.

“Um…”

“Right, I forgot, you’re too busy staring at Tina to know what’s going on in glee.”

Quinn scoffs. “I know what’s going on in glee.”

Kurt gives her a questioning look.

“I do! Sure, I didn’t know about the auditions, but I know Rachel’s probably getting the solo, even though it should go to Tina.”

“Anyone could tell you that.”

Quinn shoves Kurt lightly, a smile spreading across her face as they get into his car. Quinn’s been spending more time at Kurt’s lately - Quinn’s parents don’t give a fuck about her - they did the bare minimum allowing her to stay when she was pregnant and they’ve used up all their good parenting cards, it seems. She’s infinitely grateful for Burt Hummel, because if the kids and some of the teachers at school are going to treat her and Kurt like shit, at least there’s someone in their corner.

Completely unsurprisingly, Mr. Schuester announces Rachel as the soloist for regionals the next day, after years of the same thing, from what Quinn has heard.

Surprisingly, Tina isn’t in the room. Although, Quinn thinks, she wouldn’t be either if she knew what the outcome was going to be. And everyone knew what the outcome was going to be.

But Mercedes pushes back against his decision anyway, Santana complains, Blaine and Brittany try to placate, Kurt watches Blaine, Rachel jabbers about her destiny as the New Directions soloist or something, Quinn sits and wonders about the empty chair next to her. (She also wonders what would be the easiest way to get Rachel to shut the fuck up.)

She’s not paying attention, letting everyone’s arguing fade into the background. She barely registers Rachel saying shrilly, “We’re supposed to be a family!”

“Not much of a family when you’re the only one who can have anything good!” Mercedes snaps.

“I bet you wouldn’t react like this if Kurt or Quinn got the solo! Like they would even deserve it! At least I belong here, they don’t even - ”

“Would you shut - ” Mercedes starts at the same time Santana yells back, “Quinn doesn’t need a family, she’s a mother!”

And she knows - Quinn knows - that Santana just does this, she says shit and hurts people and this is just that and it’s whatever but -

Suddenly Quinn is in sophomore year again, hearing the taunts of her classmates behind her back and to her face. Suddenly she’s in sophomore year again, somehow invisible in the halls but also the only person anyone was looking at, pointing at, laughing at. She’s in sophomore year again and teachers do nothing to help her, no one but Kurt bothers to notice anything but the fact that she’s pregnant. And they laugh, and they taunt, and they stare.

She’s a mother.

There it is. There’s the edge of the cliff that she has been fighting for balance on in this stupid club for months.

Like they would even deserve it.

They don’t belong here.

And Quinn’s falling.

“I need to go, meet you at your car,” she says roughly to Kurt, who it seems hasn’t been paying attention at all, more focused on committing to memory the details of Blaine Anderson from halfway across the room. Quinn storms out and the arguing continues behind her.

Quinn slams the door to the bathroom as she barges in and all at once, sees that Tina is here (Tina is here?), realizes that she herself is crying, trying not to make noise and she just throws her bag on the floor and sinks down against a wall, hands around her knees and head leaned back. It’s too fucking much.

“Quinn?” Tina asks gently, so gently and Quinn watches as Tina kneels down in front of her. “Are you okay?”

Quinn wipes at her face, laughing harshly. “Yeah. Fine.”

Tina looks at her, not moving but just watching her. Quinn thinks it must be uncomfortable for her to kneel on the bathroom floor in her Cheerios outfit. Quinn thinks that Tina shouldn’t care about her, she should just leave, save her knees from the cold tile.

She doesn’t leave.

After a moment, Tina says, “Hey, so, you don’t have to tell me anything… but I’m here if you need to.”

Quinn’s not actively crying anymore, grey smudges on her fingers where her makeup was wiped off. Her face probably looks like a nightmare, but she’s too exhausted to care. She leans her head back again and fixes her gaze just above Tina’s head, at the ceiling, the harsh bathroom lights piercing her vision through the tears in her eyes.

“I just - ” I guess I’m talking, she thinks, “Santana said something dumb about me being a mother and that’s what I heard sneered at me every day for months and even now still… and I’m not…”

Quinn trails off, looking at Tina again who nods, encouraging her to continue. She swallows and averts her gaze again.

“…and Rachel said something dumb about Kurt and I not belonging and not deserving it but she’s Rachel and I don’t care about the shit she says - I usually don’t. But her saying that - ” she scoffs. “Newsflash, Rachel, we don’t fucking belong anywhere.”

That was painfully made obvious sophomore year, with Quinn’s exit from the Cheerios, from popularity. It was obvious when no matter what, she couldn’t get it back, any of it. It was obvious when she and Kurt were the only ones to really notice each other and help each other. It was obvious when the only choice they had, the one they took, was becoming this and isolating themselves. It was obvious when the only chance they had was each other.

As if she needs someone else to tell her that, to rub it in.

It’s been building up, she realizes, this feeling, the hatred, the estrangement and isolation. She wonders if Kurt feels the same, how close he is to the edge, or if he’s even on a precipice like she is at all.

Quinn’s falling, she doesn’t know when or how it will end and she just wants -

“Lie to me,” she says to Tina, teeth clenched and voice tired. “I don’t care what you say, just lie to me. Make me feel okay again.”

Falling, falling, falling -

Quinn thinks bitterly that she should be used to it after her falls from popularity.

Tina takes her hands gently and squeezes them in reassurance. “I know this might just seem like words, and I’m not lying - you do belong. Both of you. You belong in glee club. You belong here.”

Quinn just swallows again, letting the words wash over her, and in the back of her mind, the part that’s not thinking about - everything, she marvels at the fact that Tina is holding her hands, and Tina’s skin is soft, and Tina’s words and actions feel genuine.

Falling… slowing.

Lie to me.

“We don’t belong. Everyone hates us,” Quinn mutters.

“I don’t,” Tina says, smiling a little. “I know we can be pretty difficult, the glee club, but we really don’t think that. Rachel might - if I’m being honest, I think she’s the one who doesn’t belong in glee club, for a multitude of reasons - but it really is supposed to be a safe, welcoming space. I’m really sorry we haven’t been able to do that for you.”

Quinn shrugs. “You have,” she admits softly.

Tina looks like she doesn’t know what to say to that. Quinn pushes herself up against the wall, a little awkwardly, hands still intertwined with Tina’s, who squeezes again. “I’ll talk to her,” Tina says. “Rachel. I’ve been getting fed up with her shit, anyway. I’ve been needing to talk to her.”

“Okay,” is all Quinn can think to say, quietly uttered, her voice a little choked. “You don’t have to - ”

“No, I do,” Tina says. “And I want to. Mr. Schue lets her get away with way too much.”

Quinn huffs a laugh and Tina grins slightly, then withdraws her hands and pulls them through her ponytail, suddenly looking almost nervous. Quinn drops her hands in her lap and plays with her rings. Now that Quinn’s calmed down, her proximity-to-Tina-Cohen-Chang-induced nerves are back in full force.

And maybe she isn’t falling anymore.

“Why weren’t you there today?” she asks after a moment.

Tina’s lips clench into a line. “Knew Rachel was getting the solo. I don’t know, I didn’t want to deal with that today, you know? Three years of the same shit, I’m just tired of it.”

Quinn hums in understanding. She can imagine.

“Are you okay? What do you say we… get out of here? Go somewhere?” Tina asks a little awkwardly, wincing slightly as she stands up and extends a hand for Quinn. She takes it and lets Tina pull her up.

“I’m actually… going home with Kurt, ” - but going somewhere with Tina - Kurt will understand - “actually, yeah, sure. I’ll let him know,” Quinn answers, not letting herself doubt the decision, pulling her phone from her pocket and quickly typing out a text and sending it to Kurt, who immediately responds.

omg did u actually talk and get a date with tina cohen chang

Quinn replies, fuck you, i’m leaving bye

are you okay?

yeah, fine i’ll talk to you later

ok have fun on your date ;)

yeah 🖕

Tina bounces a little and shoots her a smile when she puts her phone away. “Awesome. There’s this coffee shop that I think you’ll love - ”

“It’s not the Lima Bean, is it?”

Tina laughs. “Of course not. Barely anyone knows about this place, at least from school, so I really love it there.”

Tina grabs Quinn’s hand again and they head out of the school, Quinn ignoring how she can feel her pounding heartbeat against Tina’s skin. Hopefully Tina doesn’t notice.

*****

some notes for after 🤪

ok so i don’t really know why i used the “she’s a mother” line and idk if i’m just overthinking it but i’m not saying that scene was bad or anything ?? idk lol it was just on my mind i guess so i put it in slkdgfj (basically,, not related to the canon scene lol i just like adding canon lines 😗)

i think the point i was trying to make if any was that quinn doesn’t really have any family (in this au) so yeah it’s kind of a sensitive point

i did say this was very similar to my previous werewolf!quinn and vampire!tina fic but i’m okay with it now tbh,,, you know like it’s an alternate universe and they just help each other in all universes :’) yeah

i would love to continue this but i don’t have the best track record with that lol so we’ll see 😂

#quinntina #glee #glee fic #my ficsssss #prompt fills :))#no one: me while writing this (and the vampire werewolf one): kuinn kuinn kuinn kuinn kuinn #kuinn isn't even like my favorite friendship lmao why haven't i written kurtcedses dlkfsdjgkfj #i feel like other people who take forever to answer fic prompts do so bc they're working on it the entire time #whereas i just wrote this in the span of like an afternoon and evening and i'm posting it askldgjkhsdjf #i also keep thinking about how it's so fun to write quinntina ??? it was so hard to think of things for the two klaine prompts i got #and i ended up just going canon mostly #but with quinntina i'm just making shit up 😈 idk lol it's great #mostly thinking about that bc my two klaine fills were like 500 words or less ?? i don't remember #and this is my second 2k+ word fic for a quinntina fill aksdfjkgdjsf anyway #ugh i had stuff i wanted to say but i'm lazy so that's it lol #*screams and hits post* a;sldhgfkaldjsfgk #oh shit forgot to tag #asks #porcelain-nightbird #<3 #hell yeah i got one more prompt to do lol

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werejusttouchingeachother · 4 years

Text

DUBAI 2019 [August 26th, 2:00PM]

Chapter 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 T/W: smut, cursing Words: 8078

“Colour blocking and minimalism,” you state, gesturing to the board where you’d presented a layout of some mannequins wearing your designs. “Both of these aspects will be the focus of this season, without either overpowering the other, but instead finding a way for both to complement each other and be incorporated together.”

Bonjour’s chief editor watches you with careful interest as your voice echoes around the conference room, the table of the entire team taking notes as you switch through the slides on the screen. Your eyes catch Seoyeon who is standing at the back of the room against the wall, her face cast in a frown as she stares down at her phone.

“The concept is simple,” you explain, glancing at Seoyeon before turning to those at the table as you continue. “Incorporating the basic colour theory into what would otherwise be a plain outfit. Emphasising on the interactions between hues, brightness and saturation, we will combine and harmonise colours together so as to produce a range of monochromatic, analogous and alternate analogous looks as we can see in these designs.”

One of the co-directors asks about the outfit on the corner right and the chief editor answers him, gesturing to the screen. Seoyeon looks up from her phone then and you raise your eyebrow in question.

‘Baekhyun,’ she mouths, making your eyes widen slightly and Seoyeon immediately shakes her head, raising her hands in a gesture to make you calm down.

She rolls her eyes as you make your way towards the water cooler next to her, asking loudly, “Does anyone want water?” before muttering lowly under your breath, “What happened?

“He just texted me asking where you are and why you’re not responding to his messages,” Seoyeon whispered. “I told him about the presentation, its fine, go give Jennie her water.”

You stand back with Seoyeon as one of the art directors from your crew head to the front of the room to continue the presentation. You feel Seoyeon’s gaze on you, wondering why you looked like you hadn’t slept a lot but as you turned to her and faked a sheepish smile, she rolls her eyes before turning back to the screen, concluding that you’d just had fun with your boyfriend after several months apart.

You don’t mention the sudden mood-shift that had occurred last night—the way you’d seen Baekhyun wearied down with immense stress suddenly as he sat in your bed, waiting for you from the shower. You’d expected him to crash after all the activities that you’d just done in the bath together but had noticed him checking his phone as you’d gotten into bed, sighing at the warmth of the soft sheets against your skin.

Your eyes were almost closing lazily when you’d suddenly noticed his entire demeanour change. His shoulders had tensed, eyebrows furrowing and those lips that you’d kissed swollen just an hour ago form that half-frown and half-pout that hurt you every time you saw it.

“What’s wrong?” You’d finally asked when he seemed to be unable to lower the phone, eyes transfixed on the screen as he read.

“Hmm?” Baekhyun had let out a distracted hum, forcing himself to sound nonchalant. “Nothing, let’s sleep. I have to be up early for the shoot tomorrow.”

“Baek,” you frown, starting to sit up slightly as you grew more worried at the way he’d been deflecting your concern. “What happened? Is it Hyungnim?”

“No, no, it's nothing, don't worry about it,” Baekhyun reassures you, finally keeping his phone aside.

You’d started to prod further but he’d flicked the light off, plunging the room in darkness and effectively silencing your concern. You’d moved closer to his chest, one arm curling in between your bodies while you wrapped the other around his waist. He’d reflexively wrapped his own around your shoulders, pulling you into him as he stretched the other over the pillow above your head.

You were closing your eyes, almost falling asleep until you felt his fingers drum lightly against your shoulder, a habit of his whenever he was restless.

You waited for his breaths to become slow and deep but his chest remained tense beneath your face, fingers still drumming.

Gripping his hip then, you’d finally pulled back to look at him and Baekhyun lowered his gaze to you immediately.

The window to your room was right behind you and the city lights outside cast a glow on his face that allowed you to see him clearly, the way his forehead was creased with worry and his entire body was tense.

It almost reminded you of that day in the power room, so many years ago when he’d stared at you like you were the only thing he could see which was ironic cause you were in the shadows and he was in the light—you’d seen him better than he could see you.

Except last night, his eyes had looked like they were faraway, a thousand conflicting emotions burning in them. You’d raised your hand then, laying it on his cheek in silent question.

Baekhyun is quiet and you began to think he wasn’t going to answer until his lips part, the words softly escaping his mouth, “It’s the fans.”

You’d immediately frowned. “The fans? What about them?”

“They’re not very supportive about the new project, about SuperM,” he admits with a sigh, sitting up as he ran his hand tiredly over his face. “I expected this but it’s... I don't know, they seem paranoid and upset about it. Their words about Jonginie and me are...”

Harsh. Cruel. Brutal. He doesn’t say it and he doesn’t have to because his grip tightening around your waist is enough to know that he’s thinking it.

Your heart fell as you could only imagine what they’d been saying. It wasn’t new to you—in fact, you were only too familiar with it for every time they slandered Baekhyun on any social media, you were the first one reading through all the posts and feeling your heart shatter into pieces as you prayed fervently that he wasn’t reading through them on the other side of the globe, wherever he was.

You knew this was a hard year for him. With the enlistments of Minseok Hyung and Kyungsoo, all the fans were disoriented enough that the whole announcement of an entirely new super unit was only adding oil to the flames. Even when Baekhyun had excitedly told you about the project, your first emotion was worry as you fretted over his schedule that was only bound to get more hectic with this.

And as if that wasn’t bad enough, of course, the words that a few irrelevant and insensitive fans used only drove in the knife further.

Baekhyun’s fingers were absentmindedly drawing circles on your hips now and you rubbed the pad of your thumb over his cheek, making his gaze focus on you once again.

“Hey,” you whisper. “It’s okay. Those are just a handful of worried fans. There’s a lot more loyal eris there right now, all looking forward to this project and your stage. You know that as well as I do. Don’t worry too much about the few, Baek. It’s okay. This is literally a super group—once that video drops, they’re all going to shut the fuck up right then and there. They’re going to regret everything negative they ever said and reconsider their life decisions. You’ll give them a full blown existential crisis, I swear to you.”

Baek chuckles loudly, his chest reverberating beneath your hand as he smiles at you, grip tightening on your waist. You’d leaned forward to press a gentle reassuring kiss to his mouth then, continuing as genuinely as you could, “Don’t pay attention to them. There's one exol out there loving you twice as hard for every one who doesn’t. And even if they don't, it's okay cause you have me. And no one is going to love you as much as I do.”

“This is sweet and all, Y/N but I’m the cheesy one in this relationship, remember?” Baekhyun reminds you and you’d promptly slapped his chest, muttering, “Shut up, you love me.”

“That, I do,” He’d admitted, pressing a kiss to your forehead before settling down into bed with you. He didn’t say anything after that but his tight grip around you and the way he smiled against your head was enough to know that he was better.

As his breaths finally quieten and deepen, he softly whispers, “I’m glad you’re here. I really… really missed you.”

You’d hugged him tightly then, feeling the weight of his words, hearing all the underlying love in it.

It killed you every time you’d seen his name in an article this entire year—he’d been having back-to-back promotions and schedules, and it didn’t help to see him grow thinner as the months went on. You’d been so ecstatic during his debut as a soloist, a dream that he’d only mentioned abashedly to you as if it was too far out of reach. He’d even commented that you were more excited than him when the schedules had dropped because you knew more than anyone, he was more ready than ever to finally become a soloist and fully explore his creative potential and vocal range in his own album.

You needed this. Both of you did. Even if you didn’t have many days together at Dubai, he was home in your arms and you’d missed him more than you deemed possible.

You blinked as you heard an applause, startling from your thoughts to see that your colleague had just finished her segment of the presentation. Seoyeon nudges you forward to wrap it up and you head back to the front of the room.

After about an hour, the meeting dismisses and you retreat from the conference hall. You've just sat down in your office when you hear the door open. Your eyes widen when you see Baekhyun enter, dressed head-to-toe in black, complete with a bucket hat and a mask over his face and Seoyeon in tow.

“If you let him out of this office, I won't care and will stab you in front of everyone here, Y/N, do not go wandering off without telling me,” Seoyeon threatened, waving a stapler in your direction before stepping back out of your office, shutting the door behind her.

Baekhyun looks over at you, glancing at the door in worry. “She seems stressed.”

You shake your head at him, smiling. “She’s right though, you should be careful when you walk around here. Since it’s a new team, they already think I’m gay due to the lack of gossip and relationship rumours so I’d rather keep it that way.”

He raises an eyebrow at this, smirking suddenly. “Maybe I should anonymously release those pics from my secret folder of you then, those will certainly prove a point or two—”

The phone on your desk rings, cutting him off and you shoot him a warning glare as you pick up.

Seoyeon’s voice immediately says, “Hey, there’s a package for you, do you want me to—?”

“I'll come get it,” you respond, gesturing to Baekhyun as you hang up. “Wait here, I’ll be right back. Just hide behind the desk.”

You leave your office, walking to Seoyeon where she stood with the delivery man. She was overlooking the bill as you stood beside her, glancing at the board she held. “Jute and taffeta?”

“It’s there.” She peers over the window to the right, glancing down at the vans that were parked in front of the office. “I’ll send someone to check anyway and show them to the warehouse.” She turns to you, shooting you a look. “I’ll take care of everything outside so why don’t you just stay in your office?”

You roll your eyes before nodding and turn around, heading back to your office and closing the door firmly behind you. You frown as you notice the empty space, eyes scanning all over your office as you search for your missing boyfriend.

You’re about to call his name aloud when he raises his head from behind the desk where he'd been crouching.

“Oh wow,” you grin, blinking in genuine surprise. “I almost didn’t see you there.”

Baekhyun sits down in your leather seat, smiling as he crosses his arms on the desk. “I like this seat. And this desk. And you sitting here.”

You raise an eyebrow in question, smiling amusedly at his words and he grins, responding to your unasked question, “I'm getting some kind of power rush sitting here.”

You move your hand towards the door, shifting the knob so it locks as you cock your head at him. “What do you mean ‘power rush’?”

“It’s cool to sit at an official desk like this, with some high spinning chair. Like a rich CEO from a drama.”

You walk to him then and stop in front of the desk, eyes still watching him. Baekhyun grins as he meets your careful gaze. “What?”

You pursue your lips, wondering if you should press forward with the risky game you were thinking. “Nothing,” you finally say.

“Tell me.”

“I can’t decide if you look like a baby and whether I should coo at how small you look in my chair or if you look hot and all boss-like and whether I should—”

You stop as you get the reaction that you;d been wanting, watching him switch in front of your eyes like he always did on stage—the crinkling, smiling eyes relaxing and his pouty lips parting as he straightens in the seat, crossing his hands in front of him. His gaze is dark and impenetrable as it locks with yours and your brain almost short-circuits at how intensely you feel it, your nerves suddenly heightening as your body temperature rises from just his eyes alone.

Baekhyun raises an eyebrow at your silence. “Have you decided?”

You don't say anything and his hand takes your reading glasses from the desk, leaning forward. You lean over the desk involuntarily and he lays them over your face, biting his lower lip as he sits back to look at you, hand reaching out to tug on the strings of the front of your blouse. The bow at the collar comes undone in his deft fingers, the strings hanging down and exposing the deep plunge-neck of your blouse that now displayed a generous amount of your cleavage underneath with the way you were leaning forward. You watch your boyfriend’s pupils dilate as his gaze immediately drops to your chest, his long fingers tightening on the end of the strings. Feeling a burst of confidence that made you throw caution to the wind, you raised your leg and threw it over the desk.

Baekhyun’s eyes widen then, lips parting as his eyes remain transfixed with yours. He sits back in your chair, losing his powerful demeanour momentarily as you climb over the desk and move towards him on your knees. The desk isn’t as large as your conference table—your hands are already gripping the edge of the desk on his side as you perch over it. You can hear every breath he's taking and his stare won't break away from yours, the intensity of your locked gazes almost making the air surrounding the two of you hotter. You raise your hand to clutch the front of his jacket, slightly tugging him forward.

You don't have to try very hard as Baekhyun eagerly moves forward on the seat and meets your mouth in a desperate kiss. His hands move to grab your arms as he roughly yanks you forward from the desk and you let out a slight squeal as your hands reflexively grab the armrests of his seat to stop your fall. You manage to land clumsily on his lap and Baekhyun helps adjust your position, hands working at the speed of light to tug your pencil skirt up your thighs.

“Is this glued on, why the fuck is it so tight?” Baekhyun finally grits out and you can’t help but laugh at the annoyance in his tone, making him shoot an incredulous look at you while you whip off the glasses and throw it back on the desk.

“Are you laughing right now?” He demands in disbelief, hands momentarily stopping and resting on your thighs. “Woman, you're wearing sexcretary glasses and looking like an eight-course meal with your shirt open and your hair hanging down right now. I'm trying to fuck you here and you're laughing.”

“Here, let me,” you say to relieve his frustration, yanking the skirt up over your ass and bunching it around your hips. Baekhyun lets out a relieved sigh when his hands finally feel up your exposed thighs.

You straddled him more comfortably now, feeling his hardness press up into the tight space between your thighs that seemed a lot smaller with the constraints of the skirt. You bite down on your lip to hold back the sounds that were threatening to leave your mouth as you feel his fingers slip under the thin lace of your panties, shifting it over the curve of your ass and running his digits teasingly over your slit.

You’ve yanked down his sweatpants by then, not bothering to take it off as you pull out his cock and smile slightly when it almost smacks him against his stomach.

“Careful, I have to go back to the set in these,” he mutters as you adjust your position, hovering slightly above him and holding his length as you slowly slide down.

“Relax, I have a million shirts here for you,” you respond with a sigh as you feel him fully inside you. You grab his shoulders for support, flipping your head slightly so your hair is away from your back as you begin moving your hips slowly.

Baekhyun tugs on the front of your blouse then, making you glance at him.

“Take it off,” he states and you shoot him a look to which he takes a deep breath and you immediately know he’s going to start his stupid rant about how long it’s been as he opens his mouth wide and loudly starts, “Three months since I saw my girlfriend’s—”

You slap your palm over his mouth and use your other hand to start tugging your blouse off. Baekhyun smiles as he kisses your hand, moving your hand away for you to easily pull the garment off. You yank it off your neck, tossing it aside and feel his hands move to your back, unclasping your bra and tugging it off your arms quickly.

“You’re so fucking tight,” Baekhyun grunts and grips your waist tighter then, watching you as you throw your head back and began moving your hips against his, bouncing on his cock. Your hands found his shoulders again as you bucked your hips faster and faster, desperate to reach your high as you fucked yourself on his length like a madwoman. Heavy, uneven breaths left your parted lips as you felt his thick cock reach deep inside you and hitt you right where you needed him. You moan aloud when Baekhyun suddenly lurches forward on the seat, mouth latching onto your bouncing breast and fingers digging into your hips as he begins thrusting his hips up into you.

“Fuck, yeah,” you groan, feeling your lower stomach tightening with the familiar knot as your orgasm drew closer. You closed your eyes tightly, focusing on the pleasure building in your veins when suddenly, a loud ringing interrupts your breathy whines.

Your eyes snapped open and you turned to look at the phone ringing on the desk. Baekhyun tightens his grip on your waist as he pushes the seat forward, bringing both of you closer to reach the phone. You shoot him a warning look as you pick up the phone, forcing yourself to sound normal as you answer, “Yeah, Seoyeon?”

“Grazia is calling about the article,” she informs you, seeming oblivious to what was going on within the walls of the room, outside which she sat. “They’re asking when you’re free to discuss all the pieces from this line.”

You bite down on your lip harshly enough to draw blood as Baekhyun presses your back into the desk until the edge is digging into your skin while he sucks and bites your nipple noisily with his wet lips, purposely being louder and rougher so as to make you slip.

“This-this weekend,” you stutter, your voice sounding breathy despite your efforts to stay composed. You almost curse out loud as you feel the sharp sting when his teeth sink into your breast in a particularly playful nibble and you hurriedly answer, “This weekend or any day after that is fine.”

There’s a pause and you can hear the disbelief as she starts, “Y/N, are you-oh my g—”

You hang up immediately and almost shriek as Baekhyun wraps his arms around you and lifts you onto the desk, sitting you on the edge of it. Your eyes lock as he grabs the sides of your neck and starts slamming into you, reminding you of another time that he’d taken you on the desk in your office.

“Yeah, right there, fuck,” you breathe as he keeps thrusting roughly and quickly into you. Your eyes roll back in your head when you feel his hand on your other breast that hadn’t been sucked raw by his mouth earlier, thumb and forefinger tugging and tweaking the nipple and sending sparks of pleasure all through you.

You grab his head as you hear him groan, crashing your lips against his in a fierce kiss to stifle your moan as he cums inside you, flooding you with his warm white heat. Your walls pulsate around his length as your own orgasm takes over you right after him, your entire body shuddering as you cream over his cock.

Baekhyun circles his arms around you as he holds you to him, his member softening inside you as he heavily sits back down onto the seat, pulling you with him and adjusting you over his lap. You can’t feel your thighs as you sigh softly against his neck, feeling him drop a kiss on the top of your head the way he always does after sex.

You’ve lost count of how many times he’s done it but you definitely knew that it’d been more than three years of it and still never failed to make you smile.

“When do you have to leave?” You murmur softly, glancing at him.

Baekhyun hummed softly, his chest reverberating against your bare one. “I have time. My schedule is done for the day.”

“Whoa, what, really?” You blink in surprise, straightening in his arms to look at him properly.

“Yeah, tomorrow is Taemin-ie’s shoots,” he replies, thinking for a moment before continuing, “And then the rest of the group. Don’t worry, I get to rest now. You have me for all of today.”

You straighten completely then, leaning back against the desk to grin down at him. “Seriously?”

Baekhyun nods, smiling at your excitement and leans forward to kiss you sweetly. You circle your arms around his neck and push him slightly onto the seat as you kiss him harder. His hand reaches for your chest again and—

The phone blares loudly, interrupting both of you again. You sigh in frustration as you swivel the seat towards the desk and press the button to answer it.

Seoyeon’s voice sounds rushed as she says, “Yeah, hey, I’m sorry but Yeong Jae wants to see you and you need to… stop whatever you’re doing.”

“Who?” You demand, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion as you glance at your notepad on the table with your schedule.

“Kim Yeong Jae?” Seoyeon repeats in hopes to trigger your memory. “Bonjour’s assistant editor?”

Shit.

“What? Now?” You shoot Baekhyun a wide-eyed look before scrambling off of his lap, stumbling to the floor since your legs have gone numb. He quickly reaches for you, grabbing your arms and helping you up as you say, “We were together for hours during the entire meeting and it’s almost been an hour since then, why hasn’t he left yet?”

“Yeah, about that.” She drops her tone when she murmurs the next words, “I don't think he wants to be 'conference-together' with you.”

Baekhyun shoots the phone a look and you don’t meet his gaze as you quickly snatch the phone up, taking it off speaker.

“I’ll call you back, let me just hide him,” you say hurriedly before hanging up.

“What’s going on?” Baekhyun looks at you in confusion as you grab your blouse from the floor and quickly pull it on. It’s halfway around your neck when you realise Baekhyun is holding up your bra with a flat expression.

“Damn it,” you hiss, peeling off the shirt again and snatching the bra from his hands, quickly clasping it behind you as you mutter, “Okay, you need to hide. This guy from the magazine wants to talk about something and it probably won’t take too long so just hide for now.”

He frowns, still seeming off-sorts as he nods and begins to crawl under the desk.

“Wait, no, Baek,” you say, grabbing his arm as you gesture to the gap down. “Not there, he’ll see your feet at the bottom. And he has this habit of walking around when he talks so he’d definitely notice you.”

Baekhyun frowns at your words as he straightens, watching as you struggle to pull your blouse on quickly and tie the knot at the neck. “Has he been here a lot or something? Who is this guy?”

It hadn’t clicked for him yet.

“Assistant editor, it's fine, I'll explain later,” you reply quickly, not wanting him to dwell on the familiar name as you wave off his concern and grab his arm, looking around. Your eyes fall on the wide closet that is opposite your desk, against the wall and close to the door. You open it hurriedly, shoving the garments in the left side to the top shelf with enough space for him to fit inside. You pull him to it, instructing, “Just get in the closet.”

“God, this is ridiculous,” Baekhyun mutters as he crawls inside the wardrobe, folding his legs to fit all of him. He glares at you as you tuck his shirt to his side and give him an apologetic smile before closing the door.

“There’s vents through here so you can breathe, don’t worry,” you whisper, running your hands down the front of the closet with its narrow parallel lines.

“And see,” you hear his slightly muffled grumble.

“Just a couple minutes,” you promise, stepping away from the closet to straighten your hair and clothes. You glance at the mirror on the right door of the closet and once you’re sure you look semi-decent, you stride quickly back to your desk and sit down, dialling Seoyeon.

Yeong Jae walks in even before you place the phone down, smiling as he enters.

“Y/N,” He greets and your smile falters at his casual tone, your plan of keeping this conversation brief and formal out the window as soon as he uttered your name with such familiarity.

Yeong Jae and you had first met in Venice several months ago when you’d flown out to research the fashion scene in Italy by yourself and with Seoyeon, of course. The timing hadn’t been right—supplies and stocks had been low since you’d reached later than the others, you had your deadline for the fashion line at Dubai approaching closer and you’d been stressed.

Yeong Jae had taken an interest in you as you went around visiting all your mentors from your apprenticeship days—he’d arrived weeks earlier with a team from Bonjour since they were doing a documentary on the behind-the-scenes of launching a fashion line. He’d been helpful since his project helped him know exactly which places had exactly which raw materials that you needed.

But then he’d been too helpful, much too eager to help you.

Fortunately for you, you’d had the perfect excuse—it was time for you to leave again. You were purely there for business and he had to respect that.

The problem here was that Baekhyun did not know about these interactions. And he didn’t need to which was why you had to get this man out of your office before he said anything stupid.

“Hello, Yeong Jae,” you greet him politely, crossing your arms. “What can I do for you?”

“Oh, nothing as such,” Yeong Jae grins, crossing his arms over his pristine suit as he flashes you his charming smile. He cocks his head thoughtfully as he says, “It's been a while since the last time we met, hasn’t it? When was it? Seven months ago? Venice?”

Goddamnit.

You wince internally as you nod and say, “Yeah, Venice.”

He nods enthusiastically. “Oh yeah, materials for this fashion line, right? It looks really fantastic, I have to tell you. Truly your best, I think.”

You smile then, shoulders slumping slightly as you thank him sincerely.

“Yeah, well.” Yeong Jae strides forward slowly then, hands gripping on to the top of the seat opposite your desk. Your gaze falls on the closed closet behind him before flying back up to him.

God, leave, why won’t you leave?

“It's been a while. How have you been?” He continues his stupid small talk.

“Well, busy, actually,” you emphasise in an effort to show him your disinterest for any suggestions that he is probably already cooking in his head. “It's a bit better now that I'm close to launching everything but there’s still more to do.”

“Yeah, I guessed,” Yeong Jae nods, eyes raking over you sympathetically. “You look a bit tense actually. What do you say about grabbing dinner tonight?”

There it is.

“Oh, I'm sorry, I have plans actually.” You pull out your best apologetic expression with the tone to match. “I have to run through the photographs of the fashion week with a couple of magazines.”

“How about tomorrow night then?”

You’re already ready with the excuse—dinner with family cause you obviously cannot cancel on family—but he beats you to it, moving to stand right in front of your desk now with his hands on the edge as he leans over it, face hovering above yours.

“Let me guess, plans tomorrow night too, huh?” He asks, raising an eyebrow at you inquisitively. “You know I'm starting to see a pattern here. Do you have something against dinner, Y/N?”

His tone is playful and teasing but you can hear the underlying annoyance at being put off every time, a subtle pry.

“Even in Venice,” Yeong Jae prods when you don’t respond. “I thought I could show you around the city but you said you were busy then too.”

“I know my way around Venice, Yeong Jae,” you respond, which wasn’t a lie. “Too well, trust me.”

He shakes his head, smiling. “That's not the point and you know it. But let's say it is. I don't know my way around Dubai and you've been here for a little more than a year now. You can't show me around a great restaurant, can you?”

You don't say anything because unfortunately, he has put you on right on the spot with his question and you're struggling to keep your eyes on his face when you can feel a familiar gaze burning into you from the closet behind Yeong Jae.

“It's not dinner you're against, is it?” He says. “It's me?”

You’re quiet, your brain scrambling for excuses. You choose to not lie then because you know he's caught you and is entirely too stubborn to let it go. Deciding to neither deny nor agree, you instead say, “I'm sorry, Yeong Jae.”

He cocks his head, raising an eyebrow in surprise at your easy defeat. “So? What's the reason? Are you really gay like all your co-workers say?”

Whoa.

You narrow your eyes at the unexpected question, frowning. “I really don't think that's any of your—”

“It’s a yes or no question, Y/N,” Yeong Jae’s voice sounds indignant for the first time since you’ve know him, his eyes narrowing accusingly at you. “Or at least give me a maybe, cause I can work with that. You refusing me every time I ask you out is kind of starting to annoy me now so if you're playing hard to get, you aren't supposed to carry the game on this long, babe.”

“Do not call me babe,” you immediately state sharply, your tone no longer polite nor friendly. “If you’re annoyed at my refusal, you're going to have to deal with that yourself, Yeong Jae. I'm not obligated to go out with you if you keep asking me over and over again nor if it annoys you when I refuse. I'm not interested in you and that’s something you need to accept.”

“I will when you give me a reason because I can’t accept 'not interested'. Have you seen us together? That fashion week we went to at Venice, do you remember the tabloids?”

Yes. Yes, you do, far too well – because the bright happy man whose gaze was scorching into you from the closet right now had gone so incredibly quiet over the phone when he’d seen those wretched headlines that you had to fly out in between your fashion week and see him and hold him until he wasn’t shaking anymore in the fear that he was losing you.

If it hadn’t clicked before for Baekhyun who the man in your office was, it definitely had now.

You’d closed your eyes involuntarily at his words and your silence makes Yeong Jae continue in a less condescending tone and almost persuasive as he says, “We look great together Y/N. If you gave us a chance, it'd be really great. I think, even for your brand.”

You scoff at this, incredulous at even hearing the suggestion as you narrow your eyes at him. “Pretty sure my brand is doing great enough without me dating someone just for the headlines.”

“Who said it’s just for the headlines?” He gave you a suggestive smirk and you were positive that your blood was boiling at this point.

And the fact that Baekhyun was overhearing this entire conversation with basically a front-row seat was your worst nightmare turned reality.

“You should leave, Mr Kim.” You tone is firm as you stand up. “Unlike you, I'm busy. Don’t you have articles to write?”

“Give me your reason and I will.” He steps back from leaning over the table, crossing his arms as if to tower over you even though the desk was between the two of you. “I told you, I'm not leaving this until you tell me. Is there another guy?”

“You can think whatever you want, Yeong Jae. Whatever helps you sleep better. Or not. I don’t care.”

“So you are lesbian then?”

“Get your nosy reporter ass out of my office, Kim,” you grit out, glaring at him.

“You know, I can just say you're lesbian and this entire reputation you’ve built can go to crumbs just like that. I can take your riches back to those rags you came from.”

You can’t help the loud boisterous laugh that escapes as you hear the ridiculous threat. Yeong Jae scowls at your reaction and his hands clench into fists on the desk, head lowering as he grits his teeth. Your eyes widen then as you see the closet door opening and Baekhyun looked angrier than you’d ever seen him, his eyes narrowed into slits. You shake your head vehemently and Yeong Jae lifts his head to look at you, making you freeze and regain a poker expression.

“That’s cute, Kim,” You respond with a grin to infuriate him more. “Real cute that you think you can destroy me. You should bottle all that confidence and sell it somewhere, maybe then you'd finally make all that money and headlines that you're so desperate for. If you don't get out of my office right now, I'm going to call security.”

“Seoyeon, is it? You two seem rather close,” Yeong Jae warns, gesturing to the door by cocking his head in its direction. “I'll release articles that you’re in a relationship with that assistant of yours.”

You look at him like he's an idiot—which, considering the last few minutes, he definitely is. “What are you, in sixth grade? Unlike your frenzied readers who read your trashy gossip columns about which celebrity looks fatter during pregnancy, Yeong Jae, people love me for my talent, my designs and my work. Not my face so go ahead and do your worst. You have my blessings.”

You pick up the phone on your desk, pressing zero to connect to Seoyeon and he scoffs, “You're an arrogant bitch, Y/N.”

He turns to leave and there’s silence on the other end of the phone as you breathe heavily, feeling distraught.

“Please tell me that was that dickhead calling you that and not Baekhyun,” Seoyeon pleads on the line and pauses. “Okay, he just stormed out of your office while glaring at me so it was him? What happened?”

“A lot,” you mutter as Baekhyun steps out of the closet slowly, his eyes on the floor. Hurriedly, you say, “Don’t let anyone else in here until I call you.”

You hang up abruptly and call out, “Baek.”

“You know, for a designer, that closet is designed pretty uncomfortably,” Baekhyun jokes, not meeting your eyes as he laughs in a fake manner. “That's some hard wood in there, my butt hurts.”

“Baek—”

“I should go, it’s getting late.” He grabs the face mask and bucket hat that he’d hidden under the cushions on the couch, quickly pulling them on. “They need me on the set.”

You gape at him, aghast. “I thought you said you were done for the day.”

“Yeah, I just. Got a message. They want to redo some shot.” Your shoulders slump as you read through the obvious lie while he turns, muttering, “I’ll see you later.”

“Baek,” you call out again, the desperation in your voice finally making him stop. “Look at me. Can we at least talk about this, please? Don’t do this.”

At these words, he finally lifts his head and looks at you. “Do what? I’m not doing anything.” He gives a small smile then, one that didn't meet his eyes that were reflecting the same ache you were feeling in your chest right now.

“That’s the thing, isn’t it?” He says, shrugging as he walks to you. “I’m not doing anything. I’m literally doing nothing.”

You’re speechless, your eyes pricking with tears and you feel suffocated suddenly at his words, your chest heavy as if something was pressing down on it. Baekhyun lifts the phone and presses zero, saying, “Seoyeon—”

“Hey, I was just about to call,” she says hurriedly. “Everyone just left for lunch and the floor is clear right now so if you want to leave—”

“Okay, I'm on my way out now,” he says, hanging up.

You want to stop him but your limbs are frozen and you watch as he leaves the office without turning back. You collapse on your seat, fingers angrily grabbing the roots of your hair as you let out a strangled sob, biting your lip hard enough to taste blood in an effort to not weep.

It’s almost ten minutes later when Seoyeon finally pokes her head into your office, frowning as she sees you.

“Hey, what’s going on, you okay?” She walks quickly over to you, arm coming around you. “Your hair suggests sex but the fact that your mascara is streaking down your face and you look like you’re crying right now doesn’t seem good.”

“Did he say anything?” You look up at her, sniffling slightly.

“No, he was actually very quiet which was very uncharacteristic of—wait, did you two fight?” Seoyeon frowns and you watch as her eyes widen, realisation crashing on her face as she curses. “Yeong Jae. Venice. Shit. Oh god, was it that bad?”

You shake your head, choking back more pathetic tears but then Seoyeon freezes as she goes, “Shit. Wait. Oh fuck.”

“What?” You look up at her, eyes widening as you watch the shocked look on her face. “Seoyeon, what?”

“I caught a cab for him, yeah?” She said hurriedly, looking panicked. “He didn’t tell me where he wanted to go but just that he wanted a cab so I assumed he knew where he was going. Then he was calling someone and I saw him pull up the contact on his phone. It was Park Gae Jin.”

“What?” You frown in confusion. “Gae Jin? Who’s that?”

“Y/N,” she looks at you in disbelief. “The reporter from Dispatch, the one who Baekhyun’s beloved Hyungnim hates? The one who—”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Your heart is racing as you scramble for your phone on the desk, opening up Twitter to check if anything was trending. “He wouldn’t, he wouldn’t, not now, oh my god.”

“Call him,” Seoyeon stated, grabbing your phone since your hands seemed to be trembling and you couldn’t focus. You watch her with bated breath as she scrolls through and then types in his name.

“There’s nothing,” she says. “The last updates about him are all the pictures from when he arrived at Dubai airport.” She looks at you as you exhale a loud sigh of relief, leaning back in your seat tiredly. You run your hands over your face and she sighs, holding your phone out to you as she repeats, “Seriously, call him.”

“You think I haven’t tried already?” You groan in exasperation. “He won’t pick up.”

“Not him, you idiot,” Seoyeon rolls her eyes, taking your hand to place your phone in it. “Hyungnim. Call Manager and tell him to stop that idiot. He’s here in Dubai too, right?”

“I don’t have his number here,” you reply, scrolling through your phone. “Wait, I’ll call Jongin.”

“Kai, yes, call him.”

You chew nervously on your lip as you wait for Jongin to answer. As soon as you hear his soft confused ‘Noona?’, you tell him to give the phone to Manager, who is thankfully on set with him.

“Y/N?” You hear Manager’s concerned voice and you almost cry out loud.

“Hyungnim,” you mumble shakily, a term that you realise you’d never used to address him before. “Could you please find out where Baek is, I don’t think he's thinking straight right now. He might be wanting to do something stupid out of impulse so could you—?”

“What, what, what's going on? Slow down, Y/N.” He pauses and horror leaks into his tone as he asks, "Wait, did you two break up?”

“No no, god no. We just had a bit of a... I don't know what to call it, we didn’t really fight cause he left before I could even say anything.” You sigh, voice cracking as you say, “He’s very hurt right now and he just stormed out, please just find him and stop him from doing anything stupid.”

“What do you mean ‘stupid’?”

You hesitate before saying, “Something stupid like calling some reporters in Korea and telling them about us so guys will stop hitting on me.”

Manager is quiet for a second before he mutters, “I’m on it. Thank you for telling me. I’ll text you as soon as I find him so don’t worry, all right?”

You sigh as you lower the phone to your desk, feeling frustrated enough to scream.

What if he’d already called Gae In? Was he promised an exclusive and the only reason that nothing is out yet is because he’s waiting for Baekhyun to get back to Korea for all the details?

You glance up, gaze drifting to the windows on your right. Despite being almost late into the evening, darkness had yet to fall over the sky, the sunlight still streaming into the office through the wide windows.

This is a foreign city. He doesn’t even know the language, god, he better not be wandering about…

Seoyeon calls your name, turning your attention towards her as she says, “I'll drive you home.”

“What, no, Seoyeon, its fine.” You shake your head, straightening in your seat.

Her voice is firm as she says, “I’m taking you home, Y/N.”

“Seoyeon, I said—”

“I wasn’t asking, Y/N.” She shoots you a look that shuts up all further argument and you nod with a sigh, giving in and placing the keys to your Mustang on her outstretched hand. This wasn't the first time she took this motherly tone with you and not for the first time, you wondered where she’d be if she weren't your right hand.

To which she always replied, without missing a beat, “No other place I’d rather be.”

She waits until you’re both comfortably seated in the car and you’re fidgeting with your phone, glancing at the screen every three minutes for any messages before she speaks again.

“You need to talk to him, Y/N.”

“And say what, Seoyeon?” You ask, already knowing she was going to start from this. “There’s nothing for me to console. I can’t tell him its fine because I know it isn’t, he knows it isn’t – hell, you know it isn’t.”

She bites her lip, her eyes not meeting yours as she starts backing the car away from the parking lot.

“What?” You ask.

“What? I didn’t say anything.” Her tone is defensive.

“You want to, though,” you counter. “Just say it, Seoyeon.”

“I was just thinking of three years ago.”

Italy. Privé. Your first meeting.

Your eyes immediately narrow at her and you huff. “What? You want to say ‘I told you so’?”

“No, Y/N.” She shoots you an exasperated look. “I wanted to ask if you regret it.”

“Not for a second,” you reply immediately, without missing a beat. “Seoyeon, I... He's the best thing that has ever happened to me besides the boutique. Yes, it hurts right now and I wish things were easier, I wish the industry wasn’t so fucked up, I wish he wasn't so famous, I wish I was an idol so I could at least shoulder the burden, I wish... that we were average normal humans who could meet and date like everyone else. I don't know what I'm wishing for but I do wish it was easier than this.” You pause and sigh before saying, “Regardless of that, I do not regret it. I never will. I love him too much for that.”

Seoyeon is silent as she keeps her eyes on the road and you finally say, “What? Nothing to say?”

She shakes her head, biting back a grin. “I’m sorry, I’m just trying to imagine you in a girl group.”

You roll your eyes, saying, “Seoyeon, I swear—”

“No, seriously, just imagine the concept. You in short skirts and ponytails. Maybe you’d want dark and sexy but imagine you get sweet and pure. Like Twice's Likey.”

“Shut the fuck up.” You laugh with her, hitting her arm as she slows the car to a stop at the signal. You lapse into silence, the worry creeping back into you and Seoyeon's voice is soft as she says, “Where do you think he is?”

“I’m not sure, he won’t answer.”

“Jongin?”

“He’s not answering either.”

“He’s in Dubai, it’s not like he knows his way around.”

You flinch, remembering Yeong Jae’s words from earlier when he asked you to show him around.

“You need to talk to him,” Seoyeon repeats. “From what I can see, you both are insecure about the fact that your relationship isn’t public, except maybe the roles are reversed now so you need to have a proper conversation about it instead of just ignoring it every time something happens.”

“What do I even say, Seoyeon?” You lean back into the seat, throwing your hands up in frustration. “You saw how mad he was when he walked out. Even if I did speak of it, this wouldn’t be the first time we’re having this exact issue, it...”

You trail off and her voice is small as she prods, “New York?”

Both of you visibly flinch then, which is all the answer she needs.

45 notes · View notes

paperclipninja · 5 years

Text

Younger post-ep ramble 6x11

I may be on holiday but if you think that’s going to stop me offloading some thoughts and feelings about this week’s episode of Younger, ‘Holding Out for a SHero’, then you’d be sorely mistaken (any chance to over-think and over-analyse my fave fake reality). In saying that, this will be a briefer version of my usual post-ep ramble, what I shall refer to as Ramble Lite™. There were parts of this episode I really liked and parts I felt disappointed with, but it largely played out in a way that I expected, with the exception of that twist at the end! Hats off to Joe Murphy for that fab misdirection, I may have gasped.

This episode opened with Maggie in her tomato garden looking radiant and Liza filling her in on the decision not to see Josh anymore because it’s complicated and feelings and that undeniable thing called chemistry (or something like that). I applaud Maggie’s consistent use of Chaz (I really hope we get to hear her say it to his face at some point) and Liza stating out loud that she chooses Charles, but this scene also delivered one of the two big moments of disappointment I had in this ep. If anything was ever going to be out of character on this show it would be Liza, a writer and editor, being unable to come up with decent adjectives to describe the man she is supposedly in love with. Yet here she is describing Charles as ‘a peer’ and ‘appropriate’ as reasons for choosing to be with him. For real? I understand the effort to paint him as the sensible choice vs. the less sensible, the head vs. heart, in this triangle that’s been resurrected. This particular way of describing men has always served a clear purpose in the Youngerverse and ngl, my alarm bells went off in episode 7 when Michelle referred to Charles as ‘appropriate’. Liza uses this exact term to describe Richard, the horrendous man Michelle sets her up with in S1E2 who starts reading emails at the dinner table on their date, he’s ‘age appropriate’. She also described Jay as nice, viable, legitimate prospect, sure, but she also sobbed on his shoulder because she was so in love with Charles that her heart was aching at the thought of missing the chance to be with him.

It feels so painfully deliberate, Charles has gone from intellectually invigorating and romantic and been relegated to safe and ‘appropriate’. My disappointment comes from the fact that if this triangle must remain in play, there can be two men who are vibrant and compelling and really different, without painting one as ‘boring’ and one as ‘fun’. Knowing the way Liza talks about the important people in her life, with such admiration and affection, I feel she would at least say Charles is intelligent and romantic or kind or thoughtful or SOMETHING better than being ‘a peer’ and ‘appropriate’. I do believe that as viewers we often form our own interpretations of characters and when they don’t behave the way we imagine we are disappointed, but in this case it’s the disappointment that Liza’s entire reason for being attracted to Charles is being reduced to the idea that it’s sensible when we have been shown this is simply not the case. Phew, glad I got that off my chest (and so much for Ramble Lite™ lol).

Once in the office Liza is running Diana through the wedding planning, which frankly I cannot wait to see all come together. I love that Liza’s already secretly planned a bachelorette party and really does know Diana well enough to know she’ll want one (so many lols @ Diana’s, ‘yes that’s why I was bringing it up, because I don’t want one’ and could Liza look any more pleased with herself that she’s managed to pull the wool over her eyes? Adorbs). Charles arrives looking for Kelsey and is wanting to see how she would like to break the news that he is once again publisher, because that’s how they work now that they’re the dynamic duo and have I mentioned this week how much I LOVED seeing their dynamic last week? Kelsey proves that she has indeed kept her head and announces that Millennial secured a new investor and that Charles is once again in the boss seat and I am once again extremely impressed with Kelsey this season, as is Diana (and honestly if you have the D.Trout stamp of approval, what more do you need?). I will also never tire of seeing Diana, Kelsey and Liza as true peers and now friends, it’s undoubtedly a highlight of season 6.

The book pitch of the week is extremely timely (as always), a manners for millennials piece that aims to counteract the generation’s greatest shortcomings, such as ghosting exes and not RSVPing to weddings. This episode really did have some stellar lines and the fact that Liza can now drop jokes in meetings, such as her ‘neither was I’ response to the author’s ‘I am not proud to be a millennial’, is the kind of goodness I am here for since the lie is no longer a thing. Naturally Liza and Diana are both very interested in finding out more about these topics and it turns out the best way to get some finality with the ex is to write a good ol’ fashioned Dear John letter (best way to get those RSVP’s -unknown). This is reinforced nicely in Charles’ office, when Liza leaps off Charles’ desk as though she and Charles were caught christening the damn thing (which would’ve been very ok by me and at this point you should know I’m not at all sorry) by Diana bearing flowers and note from Alice the author letting them know she will not be publishing her book with Millennial (so no Charles, the flowers are not for you). All this talk of how good letters are leads to Liza penning her Dear Josh letter that night, which we only catch a tantalizing glimpse of initially, before the narration and accompanying montage when Josh actually receives it.

While it was only brief, Charles asking Liza how she feels about him being back as publisher and her answering honestly, she just wishes Kelsey hadn’t been unceremoniously stripped of the title, is yet another lovely insight into their relationship. Charles continuing with, ‘what about you, always thinking of others, how do you feel?’, excuse me while I clutch my heart at the sweetness of it all and seriously, does ANYONE ever ask Liza this? The family picture on Charles’ desk is noted and it’s great but I also can’t help but feel it’s somewhat ominous so I’m putting my gush on pause (v. open to being proven wrong on this).

Kelsey and Zane continue to be all over the place, I have so little investment in them as a pairing and I really think it’s because I have simply not seen enough of them together to know whether I care, though I have enjoyed a number of their interactions recently. It also doesn’t help that Zane has been many shades of douche this season. Since professing their love for one another, he is being caring at the start of this week’s ep, apologising and saying he feels partly responsible for Kelsey’s demotion and trying to allay Kelsey’s self-doubt. It is Kelsey who says that she doesn’t know how to do this with Zane and that one of them always loses (the old editors-who-were-peers-and-then-one-became-the-boss-but-now-they’re-peers-again curse), which returns Zane to Douchetown in time for the staff meeting.

I felt for Kelsey, it would be so hard sitting in that first meeting with Charles at the helm again, though him going through all the acquisitions and saying these are a credit to Kelsey’s impeccable instincts was great and necessary. But then Charles brings up the Arabian Seas book and the ‘we’ enters the conversation, along with a list of books that sound like they belong on the bargain shelf because yawn and yes it’s fine that Charles has his own instincts, but Zane in this meeting is awful. Kelsey calls him out, she is clearly and rightfully angry about the unfairness of her entire situation and she warns Charles to, ‘pay attention…and you too Liza. I didn’t have any boundaries at work and look what happened’. I have no idea if this is foreshadowing but I feel like it could be juicy if it was so let’s keep abreast of any future developments (yes that is a boob pun and you’re welcome).

Highlight of this whole scene of course is Liza ripping into the guy and the whole office when Kelsey walks out of the meeting and can hear that her meme has been made into a banger of a tune. We get fearsome Liza schooling the entire room on the fact that Kelsey did get the money, ‘that’s why we all have a job, she’s a goddamn hero’. YESSSSSS Liza *praise hands*. Kelsey in turn agrees to speak at the girls school event that Lauren put to her earlier (yes it IS ok to be angry and Kelsey no longer distancing herself from her social media mistake but using it as a platform to empower others and be a role model…where do I sign?).

Lauren was in ultimate PR and friend mode for Kelsey this week, trying to figure out how to spin Boobgate and trying to see the positive side of all the invitation cancellations. I always say it, I know, but Lauren’s unrelenting advocacy for her friends is absolutely one of her best qualities and her line, ‘you are an example of a woman who made a very simple mistake and the patriarchy seizing that opportunity to tear you down’, was fantastic. She also very much latched onto the SHero theme and I appreciated her use of the word at any given opportunity.

It is as Lauren and Josh are leaving to catch an Uber to Inkburg Midtown that we discover this means he is very relieved Claire doesn’t have to move to LA now. I really don’t get this. I said last week that Josh is far too woke to expect the mother of his child to bail on her career aspiration just so he doesn’t have to move to LA, especially considering he knows the struggle Liza faced in her own career journey after having Caitlin (who you may remember is her daughter…or was. Current status unknown). If we’d seen in their conversation Claire saying that she really doesn’t want to move but she can’t see another way to give Gemma the life she hopes, then ok, Josh finding a way to up his income is ace. So I do hope we find out at some point this was the case, because Josh deciding he’ll get more money so Claire and Gemma can stay for his convenience, it’s just nope.

Though I do have to say that the biggest benefit of Josh securing the Infinitely 21 partnership is getting to see more Shelly because omfg I cannot with her. The way she talks about paint colours, giving her personal number, the line I could not believe I heard, ‘but seriously, Josh, unload on me’ ( I love that this season has seemed censored af compared to previous ones – I don’t love this but you know what I mean- yet lines like this get dropped in. Too good), I am in awe of her complete and unabashed lust for him.

It is between picking paint colours that Josh finds the letter from Liza and it is heart wrenching. And beautiful. The emotion really is palpable as Josh leaves the store to find somewhere to read it once he realises what it is. The flashback montage is certainly something that hasn’t been utilized in the show and it really leaves such an impression. Coupled with the narration of the letter, it really captures the impact of Josh on Liza’s life and Liza’s genuine commitment to make her relationship with Charles work. If this show was wanting to move these characters past this old relationship it would have been a poignant and perfect way to do it. However it plays out in the long run, I thought it was really well done.

The hands down highlight of this entire episode for me was Diana’s bachelorette party. Lauren running at an unsuspecting Diana screaming, ‘get in the Hummer bitch’ is one of the funniest moments of the series, I will be laughing for eternity. Liza reminding Diana that, ‘I get you’, yes she does and I just love everything about seeing these women, all the Younger women, out together. I feel like the focus of this episode really got pulled to the other drama but this is the first time we’ve ever seen every female character of this show together in a room and I feel like THIS IS A BIG DEAL. Maggie schooling Diana on how strip clubs work and SO many brilliant lines, as Diana waves her money in the air only to tell the first stripper, ‘You’re a lot, no thank you’, then ‘Hi, little one’ as she flags another. The hilarity does not stop with Diana, Lauren’s, ‘here’s a fiver, you should smile more’ is every kind of YES (I sense a whiff of Liz Lemon in that line and I approve). As Liza and Kelsey talk about men and work and blah, Diana tries to bring them back to the purpose of the evening, ‘ladies, there are bulging crotches in your faces, can you focus?’. Listen to the Queen people. Yet another Diana wedding related event in which she ends up asking, ‘how did tonight become all about you?’ and I was thinking the same Diva. *Eyeroll*

The Hummer ends up at Inkburg because Lauren wants to help Diana fulfil her wish of doing something she’ll regret for the rest of her life (and obviously the reason they all need to be there is so Liza and Josh can have their post-letter confrontation). They are all so drunk, it’s hilarious and I would watch an entire feature film about the antics of this group while inebriated. Seriously, take my money. From Lauren’s, ‘Get out of the hummer Doana’ to Maggie’s, ‘I forgot we were in a car’, they cover the entire drunk person spectrum. On top of that we have Diana’s penis balloon hat position which just cracks me up because I am 10 but my fave is Diana saying to Josh, ‘John, just something small, tasteful and literary’ and then as she’s leaving, ‘it was nice to meet you Jake’. Obvs a wise choice not to go through with the tat but I’d love to know what Diana would have ended up with.

Josh calling Liza out on writing the letter and trying to walk away never talking to him was completely fair enough. Him reminding her that she said she would always be there for him, be Gemma’s aunt Liza, he’s not wrong and his hurt and confusion are understandable. But it is so nice to finally hear Liza making a choice and sticking to it (whether she does or not in the future). Josh saying that he gets it, she’s scared of what they were, they still are, it’s powerful and her defensiveness of Charles when he says that she’s making the safe choice is exactly the right response if she really means she has chosen him. And not because I love Charles and Liza together, but because Liza is standing up for her choice and her ‘don’t you tell me what I feel’ retort is so charged and fierce and I love it. ‘I know this is hard to accept Josh, but we were a moment in time. But the time has passed’ - this whole scene is wonderfully acted, the chemistry between these characters has always been strong and this is no exception. And obviously I agree that they need to move on. However my second big disappointment for this episode is the, ‘you forget Liza, I know you. I know when you’re lying (a couple of seasons of thinking she was 26 might contradict that but ok), especially to yourself.’

I absolutely understand the sentiment and I completely appreciate the setup for the zinger, ‘you wrote a letter to the wrong guy’ (though I do take issue with that line in general considering Liza has just said she’s made her choice. Even a simple, ‘I think’ in front of it would’ve made it less arrogant), but if this setup is leading to a Josh and Liza reunion down the track, then I would have preferred the execution be different because to me, this is not insightful or romantic, it’s Josh once again questioning Liza’s understanding of herself and her needs (I know it’s meant to be him trying to get her to ‘be real’ but it just doesn’t land like that for me). I have no doubt lots of fans are jubilant but it feels manipulative and is not a tactic that compels me to think they might have something worth revisiting. If after Liza said, ‘I love him more’ Josh had looked at her with that heartbreak in his eyes he can convey so well and said, ‘well then I hope he loves you the way you deserve’ or something and walked away, then THAT would show growth and make the possibility of him being an option again (which is clearly where this is all heading) far more compelling IMO.

So in one of the best bait and switch moments this show has delivered, Liza returns to the loft and has a good hard look at the gala photo with Charles and Michelle and Tom (and in my head she’s thinking about how good it is she and Charles promised each other they won’t go to things like that anymore) before we see another letter starting, Dear Charles. And just when all the Team Charles Stans were going to have a collective meltdown, it turns out it’s Kelsey writing her resignation letter and we all exhaled but then didn’t because Kelsey, what are you doing??? So. Much. DRAH-MAH, so little time.

Ramble Lite™, that was a good joke wasn’t it? Can’t believe we’ve reached the finale but I am also very ready because WE GET TO GO TO A WEDDING!!!! Better get my neckwear sorted…

#youngertv #younger tv #ramble #6x11 #younger season 6 #liza miller #charles brooks #diana trout #kelsey peters #maggie amato #liza x charles #team charles #review

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