#bc i inevitably fail

[deanncastiel]

so i may or may not have uh, obtained the videos to make the gifs. the question is will i 🤔🤔🤔

#look i love gifmaking i truly do #but i need it to not feel like a race to get everything out there as quickly as possible #bc i inevitably fail #and while i was fairly successful in not participating in this race bc i know that it's not good for me #i gif at my own pace thank you very much (or at least.. i did lol) #i was still feeling it A LOT #but honestly lbr i was burning myself out with all of these ideas but never having the capacity or energy to get to all of them #(or any of them really) #and then i would make myself feel bad bc i would have all these ideas and then never get to them and it was a vicious cycle #anyway all this word vomit is to say that... maybe... sometime soon..... sure... #literally have a buck set that i was working on for MONTHS that i honestly don't think i'll finish #bc it was part of this series i had planned and the amount of work that would have to go into it just exhausts me #eloquently put love #bri's adventures in photoshop

[deus-ex-mona]

Heyooo so like do you think you could explain the Someya brothers relationship? It’s peaked my interest since the new songs with these two revolve around each other…

Yujiro and Koichirou aren’t related by blood, right? 🤔

Also, what do you think about the new songs that just came out?

Thank you so much for your time 💛💛 Happy New Years 💕

hi! happy new year~~!

this got kinda long so there’s a cut here for length sorry~~~

ngl i’m kindaaaaa fuzzy on the details about the someya bros’ relationship, but long story short, they’re stepbrothers (with koichiro spawning from the resident longleg tamagoro and yujiro being tae’s son, of course) who were kinda pitted against each other when it came to learning how to perform (kabuki) from tamagoro, because longleg’s gotta longleg ig.

then yujiro gets disinherited because the longleg’s still longlegging and koichiro takes to the kabuki stage by himself as the local “national treasure’s” sole heir. so, like, i’m guessing that the events surrounding yujiro’s disinherition may have led to their (frankly terrible) brotherly relationship of “an inferior older brother” and “a superior younger brother”?

though this dynamic carried on pretty much for as long as yujiro longed to perform on a kabuki stage, just like koichiro does (if we were to take the lxl movie’s word for it). then yujiro became an idol and started to work towards a different dream, breaking off from the path (kabuki) that he used to follow koichiro down, which i guess made koichiro start to see yujiro in a different light?

like, imagine you have a lifelong rival who strives for the same goals that you do. however, this rival of yours is less skilled than you, so you naturally grow to have a sense of superiority over your rival, taking satisfaction in crushing them while having full knowledge that they will never be able to beat you when it comes to your shared goals.

however, one day, your rival decides to aim for a different goal, completely ditching your shared goal and stuff, and they actually seem to be doing pretty well in their path to achieve their new goal. how would you feel?

because i get the feeling that koichiro’s initial response to that was to feel betrayed, in a “why are you running away (from kabuki)?” sense.

though, over time, koichiro seems to have gradually come to terms with yujiro’s idol activities, and their relationship naturally (albeit slowly) improved as the days passed, with them going on walks together and bickering with each other like brothers would. which, y’know, is cool of him in a way. he’s learning. he’s still kind of a brat, but he’s growing despite his past mistakes.

as for yujiro, well, he seems to have been looking out for koichiro in his own way from the very beginning? like, man chose not to go against koichiro’s mistreatment, opting to just lower his head and accept it instead.

was it an act of self-sacrifice to protect koichiro’s ego or something? heck, even in the lxl movie, he just took everything koichiro dished at him, and only fought back when koichiro dared to mock his bf aizo. which is. pretty unhealthy, yujiro bro. just tell him you have a proper brotherly love for him for goodness sake. your communication skills s u c k.

um. anyway.

tl;dr: stepbros made to learn kabuki because of their father. older bro gets disinherited, younger bro gets an attitude and mistreats older bro. this continues until older bro becomes an idol and begins to walk his own path. younger bro feels betrayed/annoyed at his older bro for “giving up” on kabuki. younger bro does eventually accept the fact that they have different dreams and supports older bro. seems like older bro has always been looking out for younger bro though, even though he doesn’t say it.

thoughhhhhh seriously, i’m not a someya expert or anything, i just like making fun of the longleg, so… if someone with a degree in someyaology could chime in, it’d be greatly appreciated~~~

as for the new songs, nagisa’s new song is the best of them all, no question. thanks for coming to my ted talk—

#real talk: i ​haven’t really had the chance to listen to the other new songs properly buttttttt #from the ones i heard nagisa’s is ✨top tier (maybe) ukulele action✨ and akarin’s is cute and you can hear her character development in it #hiyoko’s… uh… will have to depend on the inevitable mv. it’s failing my vibe check at the moment bc of its lyrics. but we shall see #um anyways!!! thanks for the question anon!!!!! i’m sorry if my answer falls short!!!!! #i’m not a someya expert i’m just a fan of making fun of the longleg i s w e a r r r r r r r #染BODY ONCE TOLD ME— #forgot my someya tag for a moment w h o o p s ehehehhehehehe #rereading this with the clarity of rest and. wow. character/relationship analyses really aren’t my thing huh… sorry~~~~~~~~~ #(still waiting on corrections from someya experts though s o bs im so sorry anon)

[lucassinclaer]

i've once again neglected my joyceposting

#it's hard when you love the character - like joyce is one of my very favorites #(at least the s1 and 2 version of her is) #but the majority of content for them is ship-related #this isn't SUCH a problem with lucas to me bc i love lumax although it's also not great there bc it usually casts lucas as support only #anyway.... joyce byers am i right? #Character of all time #when someone thought i shouldn't have put a post in her tag bc it was like “she in some ways failed jonathan” #as if that isn't the most compelling thing?? #as if they couldn't have milked that for all it's worth?? #as if she isn't held together with nothing but cigarettes and duct tape and that’s inevitably going to have a cost?? #as if it doesn't make her an EXCELLENT character? #emspeak

[talentforlying]

the mermaid: do you think ever really loved me? constantine: ah, now. listen, you can go back and forth about what's genuine, what's lies. none of it matters. you take it from me ... all love's magic. and all magic has a price.

behold: a guy who has been so starved of affection and approval and visible love his whole life that he takes whatever he can get when the opportunity presents itself to be loved, regardless of what it will cost him. who loves unapologetically and hard and without regret, regardless of whether it's good for him.

#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS. #i've resorted to analyzing the 2019 run to keep my sanity bc this latest issue made me BERSERK #but i think about this panel all the fucking time #i know i have true detective on the brain but i do feel like john's an optimist/romantic much in the way that rust cohle is #with a deep & painful knowledge of self and an understanding that he will inevitably close his eyes to that self if it means being loved #knowing that there is enough to love in the world to make loving worth the risk. even if you Are one of the risks #i just think. empathy and compassion in situations where you have every right to be hard and cold instead is at the heart of hellblazer #and we see some of that again in this latest issue #and yes he can be selfish and a bastard and cruel. but he tries to choose not to be and the trying is the point. #sometimes he'll fail. sometimes he won't. it's the TRYING. it's the trying even when you're scared to #am i being normal today? probably not #( character study. ) A WALKING PLAGUE OF A MAN.

[scorpiosapphic]

#im losing my fucking mind over this u guys. like. time is cyclical its circular its a loop and its infinitely repeating #and youre trapped in it. and your fate is sealed from the beginning. always destined to repeat. and theres nothing you can do about it #like... dylan in av. got exonerated for the dicks but then committed vandalism anyway. his fate was set. u root for him but he was doomed #from the beginning. AND AND adam from saw. lawrence was always going to walk out of that bathroom. he left behind adam and he left behind #his corpse six years later. its inevitable. its fate. its tragedy #AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON KENDALL ROY! literally tries again and again and again to overthrow his dad and fails every time #he keeps trying and trying and u just have to keep watching him and fail and its pathetic and heartbreaking bc he is just a victim of the #cycle!!!! #ok and finally nadia from russian doll. she thought she could change things! she thought she could go back in time and fix her fate. but she #couldnt. she was doomed to repeat it. doomed to 'choose' her mother again when she never even made that choice in the first place!! #which goes to show about cyclical time and intergenerational trauma like.... that cycle of abuse is repeated over and over and over #its tragic its heartbreaking and theres nothing you can do #this is a very old story there is no other version of this story etc etc #god i am about to go insane fr #saw #american vandal #russian doll #mine

[hella1975]

my mental health has been super up and down lately and ive got a general feeling of dread that’s been creeping up on me and i think today’s finally the day. it’s time for my autumn rewatch of dead poets society

#i remember my Yearly Watch of it last year I was in halls and I hadn’t moved my room around yet and I was eating ramen #i remember it so so vividly #i also hadn’t realised just HOW bad my course was #genuinely I think this will be my worst watch of dps yet #bc since that rewatch I’ve tried and failed to do an econ degree with my mum point blank admitting that she knows she forced me into it #like i relate to neil SO MUCH and I only realised this year #so yeah this was inevitable but I’m scared #dps

[plaguebirds]

gonna prob be a Lonnng while before i properly do dedicated art for them so have some revan concept sketches bc im *finally* playing kotor

#kotor #revan #oc: averre #i may or may not have based their appearance A LITTLE off of theron bc i thought it was funny #challenge to not give any sithy characters slightly pointed ears: failed #doing a ds run first bc Why Not and it was inevitable anyways so-

[deqdyke]

Cw: race, genocide denial, antiblackness

Just working through some thoughts after seeing the millionth annoying "Are x group white? Discuss" tweets.

Honestly I think like 90% of discourse around race and whiteness in leftist spaces could be solved by people saying "I don't know that history well enough". Like, people when they discuss race, have these competing internal desires to treat race as solely defined by current social standings, and also point to historical oppression as evidence. Neither works. If you go purely by current social standings, then we have absolutely nothing to build off of besides personal lived experiences. I've met Italians who have had old white people call them wops. Does that mean Italians aren't white? Are Polish people not white because of the existence of anti-polish sentiments? Are Russians not white because of how often they're portrayed as villains? Are Armenians white universally bc of the Kardashians?

But then if you base it entirely off history, then you have to accept that no Jewish person has ever attained whiteness. That race is a permanent and immutable aspect of someone's character - something that just... That's just racial ideology, same as it ever was.

The reality is whiteness is nebulous and difficult to pin down because it serves a social function. It needs to be fluid, but it needs to justify itself by appearing as if it's immutable. It also props up European nation-building myths. Like, if the question is "Are Italians white" the question should be "Well, who's an Italian?". Who's a Russian? I know Black Russians, and Black Ashkenazim. Is the understanding they're somehow less part of those groups due to their Blackness? Because I know they would take serious issue with that. Romans (as in, Italians from Rome) are a core part of the Western nation-building myth. You can't exclude them from whiteness without whiteness collapsing. But Sicilians were ruled by North African Muslims for hundreds of years - they're noticeably darker, and their culture is distinct. So Sicilians were denied whiteness, and they were used as a scapegoat for xenophobic sentiments during waves of Italian immigration. When they had sufficiently assimilated, then suddenly Sicilians were "Italians" and Italians are white, so Sicilians are white. So you've now managed to redefine whiteness across an era of immigration to build white unity and maintain a white supremacist majority.

White Fascism is self-destructive and suicidal because it maintains rigid immutable boundaries and requires constant expansion, which means eventually whiteness WILL be a minority. Liberalism upholds whiteness by redefining whiteness over time to maintain a White social majority. When whiteness needs to be mutable, there needs to be a population that can be used as the scapegoat. (Which is also why anti-Blackness is a core component of White supremacist racial ideology - it functions as a permanent fixed class to pivot other groups' whiteness around).

That's how it functions in America. But the rules of whiteness ARE mutable, and they change based on time and region. So the question of "Is x person white" really depends on time AND location, and how their identities exist in relation to nation-building myths. And it reaches a point where asking a question like "Are Armenians white?" or "Are Balkan Muslims white?" or "Are Jews white?" stops being useful, because the point shouldn't be to reify race, it should be to point out that people who fail to fit neatly within these national racial narratives are the best possible example to show how Whiteness contradicts itself. Is an Arab white? Is a Jew white? Is a North African white? It depends, when, where, and who are we talking about?

#this was prompted by the billionth annoying arab #posting about how al anfal was about purging whiteness from thr middle east #like my brother in Allah you ARE THE MAJORITY HERE #you are the whiteness here #we'll both be not white in Louisiana but you'll still have the money and backing of Arab nationalism #and if you fail and Kurds somehow form a nationstate we will inevitably become the whiteness of that state #and also like one of the most famous Kurds in history was a Black man freed from the Arab slave trade #you did it because your nationalism fails to account for the falsity of racial ideology #and you need to justify your continued existence and power #This is also why I've stopped really fully IDing as Kurdish bc like #im Shabak and a Kurdish Jew #both things ive seen the KRG fail to account for #so even if Kurdistan somehow becomes a nation state my family will still be SOL and stranded #also I only touched on it but it does need to be made clear that antiblackness is a core part of white ideology #even in supposedly post-racial ideologies like Anzaldua's Mestizx ideology #Blackness is positioned as something that needs to be solved to resolve the contradictions in post-racial nationalisms #the only people who have given me kindness about my complex familial history in the US are other nationless minorities and Black folks #and being allowed to sit in on an Anakarta reading group changed my life #if anyone is curious for more about the discussion of racial construction in the Middle East #read Nesting Orientalisms and The White Turkish Man's Burden #this is basically just me processing how coexist with my experiences + the knowledge I've gained from loved ones #also if anyone has issues with anything I've said here feel free to DM me but dont reblog this #I'm def open to discussing things and having my understanding corrected or challenged #but if you do it via reblogs ur getting blocked lmao

[idoodlestuffsometimes]

My dad gave me a fold up pocket magnifier with a light that's definitely for folks with worsening eyesight for Christmas because he likes gadgets and at first I was like "i love u dad and I know I wear glasses and I'm not a kid anymore but I'm not THAT old! 🥲😥"

But then I remembered my bad habit of trying to draw all my BK au shenanigans in a sketchpad whose pages are way too small to be appropriate for drawing detailed comics in, and anyway I just used a magnifying glass to draw a teeny tiny Belos so that's how my holiday is going

#doodletext #i think it might be bc i got him a cool looking desktop one a few years ago which he uses frequently #i feel bad my gift for him this year didnt arrive on time tho 😔 got delayed sorry Dad #i guess im prepared now for when my good eye inevitably begins to fail me :) #OH SHIT I JUST TRIED PUTTING IT OVER MY BAD EYE WITH MY GLASSES OFF AND IT WAS GREAT I COULD WEAR THIS LIKE A MONOCLE LMAOOO #anyway if you're a BK reader seeing this consider this your warning of incoming psychological damage i guess lol

[meat-huge-pain-endless]

bro i’m so sick of being mentally ill like this shit is so annoying bc why i am literally incapable of passing 4 courses in one semester. and mind you i have pretty much no social life and did one extracurricular this semester and exactly zero last year. what do you mean my friends go to parties on weekends and have jobs on campus and also hobbies and free time?

#like seriously wtf #i hate you executive dysfunction i hate you time blindness i hate you adhd paralysis i hate you depression #cause here’s the thing: i don’t want to be miserable anymore!!! #i hate feeling like this all the time i hate it so much #it feels like i’m wasting my life #bc every class i sign up for is one that im genuinely interested in and want to do the work and learn the content and engage w the material #and then when i inevitably can’t keep up w the workload i beat up on myself so much about it #bc in my mind academic failure and success is directly tied to whether or not i am a good person #so yeah i don’t feel great about passing 1/4 classes this semester #ok technically 1/3 bc i withdrew from the one course but like that still puts me a credit behind! and it feels like a failure anyway! #i got a c+ in the one i passed and im getting an incomplete so i can pass the other #but i’m gonna b honest i gave up on the third class #and like. idk i don’t wanna say im not a quitter bc i totally am and im not normally super ashamed of that i don’t think? #but i’m having a rlly hard time telling myself that it’s ok #that it’s ok that i gave up. it’s ok that i failed. it’s ok that i didn’t have it in me this time #but i’m trying #anyways #i’m real tired #but i drive home today! #excited for 6 weeks off #i find myself wishing things were different so often lately #i just hope next semester is better

[szczylpierdolony]

im probably aromantic but i have a degree to finish so idrc about that rn

#also even if i am i will. not be using this word probably #bc ultimately i really dont care its more just that im trying to figure out if its common to not have had a crush on anyone ever #maybe once??? when i was 15?? but im not sure #but this may just be my inability to form relationships in general #bc i assume its not worth it since its not like theyre eve going to last #like apart from my family i only ever had one relationship that master more that 3 years #and my relationship i dont mean a romantic one im counting friendships in this too #and so i dont. think of people as something that will last in my life #and thats probably a huge part why i rarely go out with anyone like its just not worth it #im gonna get attatched and then sad when it inevitably goes to shit bc im unable to engage people #do you ever feel like everything you do is a bad imitation of all the other people and that youre failing and everyone around you can tell #that youre not really a person #would maybe be fun if i wasnt also insanely boring and annoying to be around

[pctaldrunk]

it's a headcanons night baby (they're only sort of related, so, different posts, shh). After months (maybe literal years), we have returned to Ro's series on J.in G.uangyao.

I was thinking about how in a great deal of circumstances when J.in G.uangyao likes someone - the less likely he is, almost, to accept any promises from them. Which - sounds counterintuitive, and it is, but - he knows he can't handle the emotional ramifications of someone he genuinely cares for and believes in go back on or retract their word, as they inevitably sometimes have to (and I do think he knows better than most that there is a circumstance for everything). Like everything with him - it's kind of a trust thing, though I feel even the people he trusts...will have to deal with this some, until something can resolve. Because he carries these walls with him from the beginning of his narrative - maybe from the beginning of his life.

The tragedy of his mother and the rather violent rejection from his father begins this thought process - and arguably I think, the events during, following, and after s.unshot, cements for him - that it only hurts worse and puts you in a worse position when you allow yourself to have any expectations or to believe in things that are subject to change. It's pessimistic but I think he genuinely prepares for and accepts it when people do turn on him...relatively quickly. He may or may not take measures, dependent on his level of panic and ability and energy availability to care about the outcome - but he accepts it very quickly. You can see that in G.uanyin T.emple - never let it be said that he wasn't shocked, because truly he was played, but he rolled with it, you know? Whether or not that screams repression - is a different headcanon, truly.

Likewise, I think it's hard for him to accept or consider someone's regard for him as the Solution to His Problems (tm), the sum of his worth or even a viable backup plan - feelings are fickle, feelings change, feelings can be acted - when you're stuck in a brothel, it's better to earn money yourself than to hope for someone to buy your contract. A relationship, whether that's platonic or romantic, is not a safety net he's willing to fall on. Barring his mother, he has accepted that it's easier if love is conditional, even if he is exhausted by it, because fulfilling his end of the bargain when he knows what it is is easier, safer and eons more reliable than counting on the ever elusive and easily changed thing known as human hearts. He's known to be eager to please - or rather, he's eager to bring something more substantial and demanding, shall we say, of attention and admiration, to the table other than being the blurry and mystifying concept of "a person another person likes."

#headcanons #((i dont know hwere iw as going w/ this actually)) #𝐉𝐈𝐍 𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐘𝐀𝐎 : 金牡丹 #((i think there w a s a direction and then i started writing it and i might have lost it a lil)) #((there are exceptions obviously)) #((every dynamic is interesting to explore when ur character has....a decent complicated issue with trust and deghrees of it)) #((and i think it's cathartic when he learns to accept that some people love him no matter what)) #((but then there's also the compromises of duty)) #((which i feel bc of the nature of thes t ructure of sects)) #((he cannot escape from)) #((so it's like...what do you do with that)) #((apparently his answer is to try to be preemptively ok with it when inevitably h e is not chosen and duty is)) #((fdsjkfajsk;dfl)) #((and when he fails to d o that things go BAD)) #((murder his awful dad bad but ukno)) #((his awful dad is awful so im not too bothered))

[deus-ex-mona]

me when the bacteria c o l o n i s e s

#m a n. i thought that the sample would turn out negative for bacteria (like the rest have been for the past. what. year and a quarter(?)) #esp since the agar testing stick things used were freshly expired (thanks for the expired reagents workplace; cost cutting ftw!!!!) #but. ewwwwwwwwwwww it actually grewwwwwwwwwwww #and the small stick thing was covered from like top to bottom in countless dark red colonies. ewwwwwwwwww #all ​the other agar stick things were completely clean though so it was def a problem with the sample and not with my handling of the agar #in any case!!!!!!! it was the first time i saw a positive for bacteria growth on a sample and!!!! #it was also my first time reporting the results for this test!!!! without any of the test-familiar staff around!!! so!!!!! not fun!!!!!!!! #i didn’t even k n o w what they meant when they asked to ‘describe the colour/appearance of the colonies’ bc the managers’ expectations are. #just. *weird*. sometimes. ughhhhhh im ready for the inevitable groupchat callout on tuesday with ‘who taught you to report like this????’s #well e x c u s e me for not knowing sir you never taught me how to report colony growths or anything auauaaaaaaaaaa #but is ok!!!!!! i’m taking tuesday off anyway!!!! it’ll be the tuesday workers’ problem now!!!!!!!! good luck guys!!!!!!! #at least there was no fungi either… now *that* would’ve been extra gross #the bio class flashbacks were r e a l today… thank god i don’t ever have to open that stupid pharmacopoeia ever again #also reminds me of (one of) my stupidest moments in a bio class though… #back in the days of yore (read: anatomy class in the year of ‘17) i was an absolutely horrible student who’d never fail to nap in class #so when my lecturer asked connecting questions down the class register… #yk stuff like asking student 1 to ‘name a type of cell’ and then asking student 2 to ‘name an organelle that a [student 1’s cell] contains’ #he asked the girl before me to name a hormone. she answered ‘growth hormone’. and i was like. dammit. idk where it’s found. lolhelp. #(bc i never read ahead either + the growth hormone didn’t even show up in lessons during that school term) #so when he inevitably asked me to ‘name the organ that produces the growth hormone’ i answered (exact quote) ‘i don’t know; the ovaries????’ #the class laughed. sad. the lecturer retorted with sth like ‘then are you saying that boys can’t grow?’ and i just shrugged #the girl after me (who incidentally has the same first+last name as me phonetically speaking) gave him the right answer thoughhhh #i hope i managed to buy my name twin enough time to look up the correct answer (if she didn’t already know it) with my stupid guess #yeahhhhhh ​i do n o t miss bio class. at all. giggity #anyways that’s enough flashback sequences for one year. can’t believe the next year’s less than 10 days away tbh. can’t wait!!!!!!!!

[dragpinkman]

no greater heartbreak than changing your answer last minute and realizing you were right the first time

#its 9am and im hours deep into school only 2 and a half more hours till im done #this morning has been just studying for my anatomy test #which is 30min away wish me luck. hope everyone else is having a good day with school or work or whatever you're doing #i know here atleast most people in college are already out for summer however i have summer classes bc im just trying to finish it all asap #no breaks- we grind. mainly bc i dont want to take a break and inevitably forget some stuff over 3ish months & possibly fail the huge test

[burninlovebutler]

Get to know the bloggers you love! ❤️📷 Describe yourself by posting pictures of 3 fictional characters you identify with.

this is late af bc it’s been sitting in my drafts forever but

Jack Mcfarland & Karen Walker from Will & Grace

&

Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl <3

&

Prince Zuko from Avatar The Last Airbender

4 questionable characters but 💀 complicated underneath okay

+ jack & karen are comedic relief that is never taken seriously which i am as well lol

#i’m not mean like blair i swear lmao #but she always tries do the best but always fails #she has ideals for every aspect of her life and when she inevitably can’t meet them she’s heartbroken #she’s extremely loyal to her friends and just wants to be loved back in the same way #and only lashes out when she is/feels betrayed #she expects a lot from her friends bc she does a lot for them #she is a mirrorball character and so am i #anyway i will forever defend blair lmao #i will also always defend daenerys targaryen but that is a different conversation lol #jack mcfarland #karen walker #will & grace #blair waldorf #gossip girl #prince zuko #fire nation #lol #atla #avatar the last airbender #thank you anon! 💘 #cute ask games #this was different and fun #mel’s asks

[hella1975]

life’s falling apart except im being very howl pendragon about it in that im keeling over and becoming a giant goo monster and my hair changes colour and im sobbing inconsolably

#I hate my degree I’m this fucking close to transferring #just spent two hours crying and doing integrals #like literally sniffling as I took notes it was acc pathetic #if I fail these resits then that’s it im done i quit #im already shit compared to my sister and I’m already fulfilling every small town stereotype despite fighting it #which is almost worse than the people who didn’t fight it and just embraced it despite hating it #bc that means I literally just cannot escape this fucking town and it’s mediocrity #but I just actually don’t care anymore #I’ll be a drop out if I have to #I’ll do an english degree despite having no clear career path in mind #I’ll stay at the same uni if I can so I still have all my mates #and I’ll pretend the future is not a looming inevitable thing out to get me #im very aware that a lot of this thought process is coming from a place of immense dread and stress #and I’m also due on #so I probs WONT drop my course lmao #but omg I’ve never properly considered it the way I am rn im acc so miserable with it it’s killing me #hella goes to uni