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brekkerism · 4 years

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BASIC INSTINCT (Part 1 - A Spencer Reid Series)

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Summary: (Y/N) has recently joined the bau through non conventional and rather privileged means. Couple that with a dark and troubled past, all she really wants is a fresh start. What she didn’t predict getting in her way of that, was one Special Agent Dr Spencer Reid. She thinks it’s hopeless and he’ll hate her forever. That is, until she sees Dr Reid on a rather...unusual place.

A/n: I kinda can’t believe this is my first Spencer Reid/Criminal minds fic. I’ve been obsessed for so long but I never got the courage to post anything. Well, we’ll see how this one goes. I really do hope all of you enjoy this, since I’m planning to make it multi chapters and I’m too in love to abandon it! Forgive me for not giving y’all the smut right away but good things come to those who are patient! And also huge thanks to @imagining-in-the-margins for being such a wonderful human and helping me beta this first one. Shout out to all the lovely people in the discord for encouraging me enough to write this. And also for my sweet liv, bc if she didn’t like this I would def not have posted.

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader

Word count: 2320

Rating: R-no actual hard smut. For now.

Content warning: 12+ years age gap, description of bdsm scenes and play, swear words, brief fingering

*********

Since the first day I stepped in the bau, I knew Dr.Spencer Reid would not like me one bit.

Call it a gut feeling, a hunch, or maybe my justified pessimism.

I knew the moment my dad told me, fresh out of the academy and not even slightly experienced at 24 years old, that I ‘mysteriously’ got a generous offer for a job with one of the best teams the FBI had to offer, that I wasn’t going to be liked by a lot of people. Because it wasn’t a mystery how I got the position. It was actually really plain and simple, and could be boiled down to one word:

Nepotism

I didn’t ask for it; I didn’t want it (no matter how much I actually wanted the position, but by my earning it on my own merits), but I completely understood something like this was likely to happen. I knew it the moment I moved back home and decided that the only thing worthwhile I really wanted to do was join the FBI. My dad was a good guy who was just trying to help me, his intentions were just a little misguided. It happens.

What doesn’t ‘just’ happen is that my dad is the deputy director of the FBI. His helping me was ‘making calls’ and ‘pulling strings’, which instantly gives my peers every reason to doubt every achievement I have.

But I was completely ready for it.

What I wasn’t ready for is for everyone on the team to be normal and so welcoming to me, like I was any other agent. It was everything I wanted.

Well, everyone did that except him. I couldn’t figure it out why, but from the first minute he turned those eyes towards me, looking me up and down but never quite reaching my eyes, I could feel the scrutiny under the stare. Almost like he was saying “Really? This is it?”.

But with a blink it was gone, and he turned away from me and put his attention to the book in his hand so fast I almost thought I imagined the whole thing.

But I knew, I knew I saw it. And I knew that even if I didn’t want it, my body and brain would spend days trying to make him acknowledge me again, to look me up and down again, to try and prove to him what I’ve been trying to prove to everyone:

I deserved to be there. I could earn it by myself. I just need the chance to do it.

And so, my journey to try to not only be useful but a valuable agent, someone he would have to notice began.

And it was shit.

Everyone was so willing not only to teach me, but to listen to my input.

Luke always had my back, both of us being the newbies in the team. JJ and Tara were always open to listening to theories, doubts and rambling, besides being totally badass inspirations. Penelope always had a eager and friendly attitude that could comfort me immediately, and she welcomed me with open arms. Emily and Rossi were patient, while also pushing me to be so much better, and being the best mentors they could be.

None of them even seemed to have even a passing thought of giving me special treatment or harsher judgment. It was almost perfect.

If it wasn’t for Special Fucking Agent Doctor Reid. He wouldn’t even be an asshole towards me, oh no, It was much, much worse. He ignored me.

He was almost happy to pretend I didn’t even exist. Of course there were situations that he couldn’t avoid socializing, as minimal as it was, but it was like he was talking to a wall. He looked at me like he was surprised that I was even there. He wouldn’t acknowledge me unless he was made to. He wouldn’t even correct me when I was wrong. At this point I was sure that I could be screaming bloody murder at him and he wouldn’t take his eyes off whatever he was doing.

It was the most frustrating and irritating thing that has ever happened to me. It made my blood boil over. It made me cry with sorrow.

And I couldn’t even figure out why. I didn’t know what it was that made me crazy because Spencer Reid wouldn’t look my way.

So I did what every angry and frustrated normal young adult does.

I went to a sex dungeon to drink my mixed feelings away and watch BDSM scenes. Duh.

Even though I wasn’t going there to play, and I thought I would never be able to play again, it was still a safe place for me. A place where I could see people that once knew the real me and provided a place free of any judgement. People who didn’t know who I was outside of those walls, who thought of me as just another person in that safe and different little world.

It also helped that watching, as much as it wasn’t my preference before, was the only thing that could properly get me off these days. And after everything, I thought I still deserved the ability to enjoy some parts of it.

And so, after saying my goodbyes to Pen, JJ amd Emily, and finding flimsy excuses not to join them at the bar for Friday drinks, I hopped the elevator, wondering how long would it take me to get properly dressed and drive across town, and if I was going to be able to call more of my old friends.

But all my happy thoughts of getting to immerse myself on a world I still loved were immediately clouded when a hand stopped the elevator and went in with me. His hand.

Great, just the perfect ending to an shitty day. A awkward elevator ride with Spencer Reid. And as always, he didn’t bother to acknowledge me, even though it was just the two of us riding down.

I was trying so hard to be in a good mood; to ignore the shitty end to a shittier case and go somewhere where I could try to be happy. But I just had to be met with his silence, his awkwardness, his existence in general. I didn’t want to feel like that today. So before I could stop myself, I did something stupid

“So, what are your plans for the weekend, Doctor?”

Stupid. Stupid, stupid. Like he would voluntarily participate in small talk with me, something he already didn’t like, with someone he didn’t even bother to not like.

“I think I’m going to go to a party with a friend today.”

Now that took me by surprise. No short replies? No one syllable answers? He actually told me something out of his own free will? He engaged in small talk?!

“O-oh? I didn’t know you were one for partying... like, at all. Which friend are you going with? Do I know him?”

Talk to me. Keep engaging in small talk, please.

“You don’t really know me well enough to judge if I am one for partying or not, now, do you? And you definitely wouldn’t know her. I don’t only hang out with people on our team, contrary to popular belief.”

Well that was extremely uncalled for. And rude. I thought that it was the first time he ever referred to me as part of the team, but that was an small detail to analyze later.

“No need to be defensive or rude, I was just asking.”

“Well, don’t.”

He was back to having that stupid blank expression on his face, back to not dignifying me with a proper answer, and that just wouldn’t do, would it?

I had a response. I had an excellent, spectacular comeback to use, but before I could actually defend myself in any way, the elevator dinged open. He couldn’t get out fast enough.

It was infuriating. So I did the only reasonable thing:

I followed him to his car to give him a piece of my mind.

Because of those immensely long legs, he almost got there quick enough to drive away and avoid me, but I would not let my stubby short legs get in the way.

I got my hand in before he could close his door, much like he did with the elevator. He still refused to look up at me but, the cheer disbelief and confusion on his face was enough of a response. Can’t ignore me now, asshole.

“You know, the only reason I don’t know anything about you, is because you pretend like I don’t exist. So don’t be needlessly rude to me. It’s better to keep not saying anything at all.”

And there it was. It was just tip of the iceberg, but at least I acknowledged it. I could actually feel a smirk forming on my face.

“Remove your hand please.”

And he finally looked up at me. All the disbelief and annoyance on his face were gone, replaced by that utterly bored and blank stare.

I actually wanted to scream. How was this the same guy that couldn’t stop talking and rambling enthusiastically about any and everything to anyone, the same person who had a perfect smile and warmth on his eyes for everyone else. How.

It was too frustrating. So I stepped back, removing my hand from his car door and walking towards my own car. It was better to just let it end already so I can wallow in my humiliation over this failed attempt at confrontation.

It almost put me in a bad enough mood that I didn’t want to go to the ‘club,’ but I had already promised Amara, who was not only one of my best friends but also happened to be dating that particular BDSM dungeon’s Mistress. There was no getting out even if I wanted to.

And I didn’t really want to.

****

A hour and dress change later, I was ready to go. This was absolutely nothing like the old outfits I used to wear for this events, but then again, I wasn’t the same girl. Not entirely.

So I opted for a silky black dress with a cowl neck and the best heels I had. It was sexy enough for a night of normal clubbing, but rather tame for a night at a dungeon. It was exactly what I wanted. It was less likely in that type of dungeon for anybody to approach or proposition me if I didn’t look experienced and in my element.

Even if I secretly was.

So I got ready, took my time to properly breathe, and left everything that wasn’t this night or positive thoughts behind the locked door of the apartment. I could come back to them later.

Right now, I was going to be happy and have fun.

*****

I was not having fun anymore. It was unfortunate, and I felt like somehow that this had to be the bad mood I was in from a particular encounter earlier. I just couldn’t find anything that excited me the way I wanted it to. I had made the rounds with Amara, and she had showed me all of the new rooms and new toys before every space got occupied with busy couples and groups.

It was beyond fun exploring before the spaces were being actually used, and imagining what each person would get out of those rooms. It was a pleasant and happy feeling.

But soon enough the dungeon got filled with more and more people, and each room was occupied and used. Most were open for all that wanted to watch, but each scene I passed failed to get my attention. It was especially more daunting and lonely when Amara left to put on a show with her girlfriend in the main room.

And as pretty and wonderful as they looked, I just didn’t feel like watching a couple as in love as Amara and Celeste performing tonight. It was just... a little too much for me. After everything, most loving was.

No, what I was looking for was not that. I was looking for the thing I used to crave. The thing that used to keep me going at all times of the day.

I was looking for fucking. Not couples making love, not couples having sex, not pet play, not elaborate scenes or people using toys so strange and complicated I couldn’t make out what was what.

I was looking for someone completely fucking dominating their partner.

It shouldn’t be impossible to find. Not on a Friday night, and not in a club this good.

And I did. I finally found it.

The dom had his back to the audience and the door with the little window I was watching through. He was turned toward his sub standing on the side while she spread her legs on the bed, her hands tied up to the headboard, showing her pussy to the audience along the wall. It was the perfect scene for me. In fact, too perfect.

She even looked a little like me, in fact. Same build, similar hair. It got me even more excited to watch this through. I took a deep breath and finally opened the door. Stepping in, I leaned against the door, having a direct view to the bed.

And god did I want to watch.

The dom still had his back to us,but I wasn’t watching him. Rather, I watched the girl’s cunt and how he was fingering it, not saying anything for her or us yet.

He has really nice hands.

Really, really nice. In fact I don’t think I’ve seen such nice hands since –

Not the time!

The girls face looked rather blissful, and I imagined three of those pretty and long fingers should be doing just the trick for her.

But then she did something that displeased him.

She moaned. Loudly.

The sound was immediately followed by a sharp slap in her face.

Fuck, that made me wet.

But before I could even entertain the idea of getting my hands inside my panties, the dom spoke.

He spoke in a voice I almost never heard directed towards me, but could pick out in any crowd.

He spoke in the voice of the man that made me so mad I almost didn’t come to the club in the first place.

“Are my fingers inside you too much? Cause I’ll fucking stop if you can’t obey and stay quiet.”

And I froze. I froze and panicked and had to stop myself from screaming by bringing a hand up to my mouth.

Because that was Spencer Reid, in a BDSM dungeon, dominating a girl right in front of me.

Taglist: @imagining-in-the-margins @spencer-reid-in-a-pool @gretaamyk @prettyricky187 @sunlight-moonrise @fanficlibrary82 @blazinvixen @samanddeanstolethetardis221b @httpnxtt @reidetic @hyper-fxation @blushingspencer @reidlusts @wishingwellwriting @redbullchick

I feel like I missed a lot of peeps but please know I’m still thankful ma loves

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christineeej94 · 4 years

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Singing for you❤

a/n: another request, another day in quarantine 😂😂. Also my exams will start in a few weeks, but who cares😂. I don’t know but today I had a fucking good mood. Thank you guys for your support, I appreciate very much. I hope you gonna love it. Stay safe and I don’t know, be cool 😂. Kisses🌻

Anonymous said:

hi I love your writing & I wanted to request an Aron Piper imagine where he’s filming a music video for his song ‘Sigo’ & he casts his best friend as the love interest since he wrote the song about her but she doesn’t know & at the end they end up together (however you’d like them to end up together is great!) I literally listen to his song everyday bc it’s so good 😩

Warnings: fluff I think and bad language.

Word count: 1.798

youtube

Arón Piper x Reader

♠♠♠♠♠

Flashback

I was in 6th grade when I first met my best friend. I was staying alone on a bench in the school yard, eating my lunch. Any of my colleague didn’t want to spend time with me because I was different than other girls. It was a difficult time for me, but in that time lunch in the school’s yard, everything changed. I was hit in a face, with a ball, by a boy who bullied me all time in school. Then, a curly boy with a cute face hit that guy somewhere when the sunshine never rose (You got the point). “Run, (Y/N).” he caught my hand in his and we start to run together because a group of boys were running after us.

“You are okay?” He said and I figured out who it was. It’s Arón from the 8th grade. I nodded and he touched gentle my face. “You are going to have a bruise on your nose. Here, take this.” He handled me a patch with flowers on it. I smiled and then we turned back at school. “Thank you” I mumbled and he smiled. “No problem, we can met after school and go together home.” “Sure” I smiled softly and I waved my hand to him while I’m going to my class.

End of Flashback

From that day, me and Arón are best friends. We changed a lot in those years. He became a famous actor and artist, he is having every girl at his feet. Arón is looking different now, his body is more muscular and he is taller. He is still very beautiful but more masculine and I see why when I going somewhere with him every woman or girl is looking at me hateful, because they want to be with him. His is breaking a lot of hearts, including mine.

Me, I started my fashion career when I was in my last grade in high school. I moved to Madrid a year ago and now I can be closer to Arón. He just released his first song ‘SIGO’ and I’m so happy for him. I couldn’t be at the released party because I was gone in Paris, Milan and New York for the Fashion Weeks but now I’m back.

I’m going to surprise him at the casting where he needs to find a girl for the video. When I arrived at the hotel where it takes place the casting I asked at the reception where is the meeting room. After I took the elevator to the exact floor and when I entered in waiting room, I put my sunglasses on. I text a message to a friend of his telling him that I’m here. He texted me back and informed me that I can enter after the girl who’s inside. I’m so nervous and excited in the same time. I missed him so much and I barely seen him on FaceTime while I was gone. The girl gets out and I go in. Some chairs, a table where he is staying with two of his friends and some other people I don’t know. He doesn’t notice because he is looking into his phone. Arón always is staying on his phone when he is bored. “Sorry, mister I don’t care about the person in front of, I’m here.” I said and his friends laugh so hard. He got his look on me and froze.

“(Y/N)? You are home?” he run towards me and lift me in his strong arms. I giggle and my heart is melting when he lets me down and kisses my forehead. “I missed you so much, chica. I thought that you aren’t coming home soon.” He smiled and I pinch his arm. “Surprise and I don’t like your hair.” He laughs and we go outside. Arón light up a cigarette and get out the smoke. He is so sexy when he’s smoking. “It was for ‘Élite’ and you know that I love my hair.” He winked. “Tell me how it was. You bring me something?” I pinch him again and he imitates a painful face. “I think that I have something, a Balenciaga hoodie, an Off-White jacket or maybe a LV belt.” I smiled and he got so excited when I said this. He hugged me again and for a second I thought he is going to kiss me. But he let me down quickly and he continue to smoke.

“I’m happy that you are back, I’m really thankful that you are back.” He grins and I didn’t say anything because my mind is somewhere else. “Do you want to be in my video? I think you are perfect for the role of the girl.” He said and I froze. ”Are you insinuating that I’m your type?” I smirked and he laughed. “Of course.” He winked and throw away what’s left from the second cigarette. “Do you accept?” “Give me time, chico, I just got back and you ask me this. I wasn’t ready.”

We go back inside and I let him to finish his casting. “I will be tonight at your apartment.” He yelled before I got out of the meeting room. I showed him my middle finger, habit which I took it from him, and he laughs hard. “¡Joder! If you didn’t tell that she is your best friend I would have believed she is your girlfriend.” I heard a man saying when I closed the door.

At 6 p.m. I had a shower and now I like to stay in my robe watching the sunset from my balcony. I couldn’t take off the imagine of Arón face all day and I’m thinking all the time about his existence in my life. He helped me so much, he was there at my first shoot and when he was at the casting for ‘Élite’ I jumped in the first train to Madrid and I was there to support him. He throwed up all morning and I still laughing about that.

“You look very sexy in this robe.” I jump scared from my lounge chair. The curly head boy is laughing so hard. “Fuck, Arón, why don´t you called?” “I wanted to make you a surprise, so here I’m. And you forget that I have a backup key.” I really forget. I pointed the chair next to mine and he sits. “Bad habits never die.” He speaks about my pleasure to stay outside in a robe and watch the sunset. Actually, it’s freezing right now and I’m feeling my feet very cold. “You think about my suggestion? It’s okay if you don’t want, but I like you to be in my music video.” He smokes slow a cigarette and get out the smoke. “I can do this for you, you are my best friend. I will do everything for you, cabrón.” I entered back in apartment and I take out a bottle of limoncello which is lemon liqueur. “I bought this from Rome when I was there to meet someone and we go together to Milan. It’s for you.” He smiled and kisses my cheek. “Te quiero, chica” “Te quiero.” I replied and we hugged. I’m hurting myself right now but for a moment I let everything to flow by itself.

It was 2 days from that night and now I’m on set. A girl done my hair in some wavy curls and I’m dressed up in some black jeans and a lace bra. We filmed the heaviest part and that’s the part when we should kiss. When I found out I freaked out. I locked myself in the bathroom and thinking to run away. I got back after 15 minutes and everybody was staring at me. “We can’t do this if you want.” Arón rubbed my back to relax me but I’m so stressed. “It’s alright, it’s just a kiss.”

And now I’m in front of the scene. A room with obscure red light and fluffy black couch where my best friend sings his song.

“Todo ese money, ahora es clean, clean money

Ahora solo me hace "ring ring" el phone

She's on my dick, eh

Ahora contamos los E's de to's los colores

Me baila tu ex (Ex), champán y flores”

A boy pushed me from behind to get there. I sit in his lap and putting my hands around his neck, but…

“I can’t…” I going back to bathroom leaving the entire team alone. I’m such a coward. “(Y/N), open the door and let me in.” I heard his softly voice behind the door. I open it and he locked it. I was looking in his beautiful eyes and I can say that I’m in love with him. I scared because after I kissed him, I’m going to fall deeper and deeper and when he is going to refuse me, I’m going to collapse. “Why you run away like that?” “I’m scared.” I respond and Arón puts his hands round my waist. “I write the song for you. I keep looking for you and I want to tell you that I love you.” I froze then my cheeks got very red. “I don’t know what to say, because I love you too and I don’t want to lose you.” I said sad and he smirks. “You don’t lose anything. Now I can kiss you because I was waiting for this day for a long time.” I got on my tip toe and pressed my lips against his. First, he is in shock, then he lifts me in his arm and hold my body tight to his body. “We should go back in there, they will think that we do something else.” I said blushing. “We can do this later.” He smirks and kisses my nose. “I love you, boo. Let’s go and let’s show them what are you made of. My bad ass girlfriend.” He slaps lightly my butt and I turn around and pinch his arm. “Very bad ass.” He comments again and I rolled my eyes.

After we filmed the video, which is going to be release in 2 weeks and I’m so excited. He got me to his home and we stay on the couch in each other arms. “I still can’t believe you wrote this song for me. You are an old fashion boy.” I mumbled and he kissed my hair. He’s perfume give me so much dizziness and I’m feeling like I’m staying on a cloud. “You are telling me that I’m old? Because I’m not ready to be your daddy.” I hit him lightly. “Oh, shut up, you know what I wanted to say.” I continue. “But why don’t you tell me earlier?” he giggled softly. “I guess we are both scared of losing someone we love.”

#aron piper #aron x reader #aron piper imagine #aron imagine #elite #sigo #love #fluff #elite cast #elite imagine #best friend

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justhaletwinsthings · 4 years

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lads i am having Thoughts about pre-alice jasper’s relationship with peter and charlotte.

for your consideration:

peter and charlotte come to find him when things are really Going To Shit(TM) down south, that's just canon. jas and maria are pitting the newborns against each other and making increasingly violent power moves and it really looks like one of them is going to be dead by the end of the year. and, well, if you ask anyone involved it's a real toss up as to who that's gonna be.

realistically tho, it's probably jasper. bc by this point he's just... tired. he doesn't necessarily mind all the fighting and killing, and he knows that he's very, very good at it, but, well... eighty years will wear anyone down

add on to that the fact that maria's been his only constant for so very long now? that he can't quite smother his affection for her in the way she can hers for him? well, it leaves him both at a tactical disadvantage and in an awkward mental place where he doesn't even know what he'd do without her. sure he could take up control of her army and lead it in full capacity, but the fact is that he's never had the same hunger, the same drive to keep taking more territory, more feeding grounds, more people that she does. it's part of the reason she likes him so much. he’s not a threat like nettie and lucy were because he doesn't really have an overabundance of ambition in that way, not like he did in life. he's always been content just to follow her lead.

he fights because it's all he knows, because she made him, and because as far as he's aware the rest of the world is doing exactly the same thing.

but then peter leaves. peter, who was something close to a friend, who was the first person he's met since he was turned who was jasper's more than he was maria's, runs off with some silly little newborn girl and jasper lets him. he could have stopped them, hell, should have stopped them. he should have hunted them down and ripped them both apart and all of them know it. but he didn’t. it's the first time he ever consciously goes against maria, and, well, it sets a precedent.

which is why things start to escalate (see above)

peter, for his part, isn’t really expecting all that much when he makes his way back south. it’s a stupid thing to do, borderline suicidal really, as charlotte is quick to tell him. just because jasper let them go once doesn’t mean he’ll do it again; he’s loyal to maria first and foremost everyone knows that. he won’t just leave her, no matter what peter tells him.

still, he’s saved peter’s life multiple times over years and in multiple ways too. having his back in a fight, putting him back together on the rare occasion a newborn managed to get the jump on him, convincing maria to keep him on for more than the usual year, and, most importantly, letting him and charlotte flee without a fight that night all those years ago. peter owes him.

besides, peter knows they were friends. or at least as close to being friends as jasper was capable of getting back when they met. that means something.

and, well, peter was terrified when he left, even if he hid it under his usual confidence and bravado. he was so certain that he and charlotte were heading out of one war zone and straight into another, one where they didn’t know the players or the playing field and were all on their own, without friends or allies (as shitty as they were) for the first time since they were human.

but that’s not what they found. instead they found peace and freedom and other vampires that were, if not friendly, at least usually willing to leave them alone if they showed them the same courtesy. it was amazing and it was thanks to jasper that peter got to live long enough to experience it. so it seems only right in his mind that the perfect way of repaying his friend would be to let him experience it too. he just has to convince he stubborn bastard that it’s actually worth trying for.

charlotte, let it be known, thinks it’s a terrible idea. she has no real attachment to jasper, not in the way peter does. to her he’s always been more monster than man, maria’s loyal lieutenant and the one who she knew from very early on was going to kill her when she outlived her usefulness to the cause. charlotte’s never been an idiot, not even in the haze of newborn bloodlust, and even if peter hadn't clued her in it wouldn’t have taken her long to figure out that after a certain point the newborns just stopped coming back. she was terrified of jasper back then, no matter how much peter insisted that he wasn't really a bad guy, just misguided, and that’s never quite gone away.

but.

but he let them leave, no matter how much he really probably shouldn’t have, and peter’s right in saying that means something. perhaps that peter’s friendship with him wasn’t quite as one sided as she’d first thought. she hopes that's the case, for peter's sake if nothing else. besides, she knows from the look in her man's eyes that he’s doing this with or without her. better her there to watch his back than no one at all.

so they go

still, charlotte prepares herself for disappointment. or rather, prepares herself to deal with peter's disappointment, and to get the hell out of dodge when this inevitably blows up in their faces

neither of them really expect jasper to come with them, and certainly not as easily as he actually does.

for him it's a way out, something he's been looking for for a while now, even if he didn't quite realise it until the opportunity was dropped in his lap. he's not sure if he believes peter when he tells him about the world outside of the southern territories, of how wonderful and free it is, he just knows that he wants to leave and that he doesn't want to have to kill maria to do it, not really. if this is his opportunity to do that he'll take it. it's not like he has any better ideas

peter is thrilled ofc. he has the love of his life, he has the friend he thought he'd never get to see again, and he has the whole world at his feet. in his mind things are really looking up. what he does not have, however, is the foresight to realise in his excitement that things maybe aren't quite as simple as he'd like them to be

the first time they take jasper out into a city (new york, because peter is eager to show off all of his new favourite places and this one’s near the top of the list) is a Disaster(TM). peter and charlotte aren't the cullens but they're still far more integrated into the human world than jasper has been since he was, well, alive

jas, despite his age, has little experience being around so many people, especially when the sole purpose of the outing isn't to nab one of them to chow down on. he also has little practice pretending to be alive for any period of time, constantly forgetting to breathe or hide his unnatural eyes, and he definitely isn't used to feeling so many emotions all at once. it's all very overwhelming for him. he barely lasts an hour before he snaps and kills a girl in an alley, which, y’know, isn’t really a great start.

and beyond that, the group dynamic is just awkward at first. peter likes jasper and he clearly cares about him, but forging a bond of blood and brotherhood on an open battlefield is very different to actually living together. they know each other rather well but they don't actually know a lot about each other.

jasper, for one, didn't know that peter was an irritating little bastard with a bad habit of up and leaving in the middle of the because he got a feeling or something equally ridiculous, and then returning at complete random anything from days to hours later without so much as a by your leave. the first time it happens jas, respectfully, freaks the fuck out (though he’d rather die than admit it), utterly convinced that the idiot’s gone and gotten himself fucking murdered or something. it leads to quite the beat-down when peter finally returns, though the younger vampire takes it in stride. he’s just too happy that jasper is finally showing more emotion than blank face stoicism to be all that upset by it, honestly, especially since he’s had way worse in the past -- and from jasper himself even.

charlotte, on the other hand, sits somewhere on the other side of the spectrum in that she’s still clearly afraid of jasper. oh, she's rather good at hiding it and she's nice enough to him all told, but there's really no way of keeping these things from an empath. weirdly, jasper finds it kind of comforting. it's something he's used to, a sign the world hasn't completely turned on his head. in a way it’s as familiar as peter’s steady companionship; it shows him that the status quo he was defined by for nearly a century still exists, in some form at least, and that does a lot to keep him grounded for the first few years, difficult as they are

things start to get better over time

jasper gets used to moving among humans and to not having to constantly look over his shoulder for the next attack. hell, he even starts to get used to having time to himself. it’s a strange and freeing thing and he doesn’t know quite what to do with it at first, not until charlotte suggests picking up a hobby.

he takes an interest in history, reading about everything from aztec burial rites to the napoleonic wars in a way that he’d never had the opportunity to do before, both as a human and as a soldier in maria’s army. peter hears about this and starts adding museums and galleries to their travel itinerary because he’s a good bro really, even if jasper refuses to admit it. it’s some of the best days of jasper life actually, just the three of them roaming america and experiencing the things and places that they never got to when they were young

he and peter reestablish their old common ground over time. they learn how to exist together outside of all the fighting and bloodshed and find that they genuinely do like each other. peter is cheerful and brash, impulsive but loyal, and determined to make sure that they all live their lives to the fullest. if that means instigating stupid bets and competitions and dragging jasper into more petty wrestling matches than he knows what to do with then so be it. it makes jasper happy, he knows, to be treated like a person and not a just a weapon, and he likes it when jasper is happy. if anyone deserves to be it’s him

honestly it’s part of why jasper later comes to like emmett so much: he reminds him a lot of peter

charlotte too softens towards him over time. they’re quite similar people at their core really; scholarly and reticent and quick-witted. it helps too, that jasper quickly (if somewhat unwittingly) made clear just how much he cared for and worried about peter upon joining the group with that little freak out over that first disappearing act. that alone was enough to earn him the benefit of the doubt in her mind

she’s also encouraging of jasper’s interest in history and literature and whatever else in a way that no one else has ever been in his life, more than willing to sit and discuss them with him for hours on end while peter pouts and stomps and tells them how boring they are. for jasper, whose passions have always had to fall to the wayside in favour of practicality, it means a lot more than he’s capable of saying

their friendship is quieter and more subdued than the one he shares with peter, but no less valuable for it. they’re more prone to sitting quietly together than going on grand adventures, but companionable silence is something they’ve both grown to appreciate. and, well, if it ever grows tiring well peter is always available to be a subject of lighthearted mockery

the years they spend together are honestly the first time jasper can remember even getting close to being truly happy, even of the act of eating humans is prone to throwing him into deep depressions, and that really does mean a lot to him

family is a tricky concept for vampires but he’s more than happy to consider them his. if this is what eternity looks like, he decides it isn’t so bad

and then he wanders into a diner in philly and meets the love of his life and finally experiences true joy but, well, that isn't for a few years yet

#look my thirst for solo jasper content is unquenchable #and by god if smeyer won't write it then i will #twilight #jasper hale #peter #charlotte #maria #shut up a

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