when we get a scene in beyond the spider-verse akin to the andrew garfield amazing spider-man showing up to aunt may’s house beaten up and bloody but with the carton of eggs scene. but it’s miles in his spider-man suit torn to shreds covered in spider-verse debris at his parents’ doorstep. and holding two cakes. that is when i will sob like a baby.
2K notes
·
View notes
thought about Snufkin: Melody of Moominvalley yesterday, thinking abt it today, will think about it tomorrow
160 notes
·
View notes
You can see how sad and empty ppl are by looking into their eyes....
Reasons why I wear sunglasses and avoid mirrors
5 notes
·
View notes
when you're unattractive nobody believes that you are constantly let down by men you thought were your friends but who only wanted to get off with you. my closest male friend and i are both sa survivors (altho VERY different circumstances) and its extremely validating to have someone who just gets it, that its not about being desireable but about being vulnerable. last night was the first time ive ever actually said the words out loud that i was assaulted, and i still dont really believe it in my heart of hearts because it doesnt gel with my conception of myself. but there you go.
3 notes
·
View notes
Delicate playing in the waiting room of the dentist. Love it 🌈❤🌈
19 notes
·
View notes
all i want is to see scomo have a breakdown on national television
354 notes
·
View notes
Domino effects are so crazy because like your best and oldest friend will drop you on a random day in April and you will think your life is over because you are 20 years old and stupid, and you will spend your summer grieving, loathing yourself because you think everything anyone does is about you because you are 20 and stupid. Until, on a random day in November, you will decide to audition for a show you've made fun of for years for being cringe because you found it when you were 19 and pretentious and now you feel so cynical about the future as well as the present you feel as though you have nothing to lose. So you'll go out on a limb believing wholeheartedly you won't get it but somehow you will get cast as the character you have secretly related to more than any other character in any single piece of media ever created. And you will try not to get too excited because you know from experience that you can be intense and off-putting and you'll be determined not to fuck this up and give anyone any reason to alienate you, so you will go into rehearsals trying desperately to seem mysterious and aloof. But the people there will coax your head out of the sand -- slowly and falteringly, because you've learnt not to take smiles and kind words at face value -- and for a brief period you will think you've fucked it and your life is over (again) because you are 21 and stupid. And then you'll start burrowing back down until a hand on your shoulder pulls you out of the hole and into a hug.
It is in this moment of uncomplicated and sexless intimacy that you will start to re-evaluate all the times someone has reached for you and you've flinched away in terror or disgust, every time you've projected cruelty onto their words because you were raised to believe that anyone with a kind word to say to you is trying to deceive you, every time you've failed to show love and every time you've failed to receive it. And now, every time you start shrinking into yourself thinking, "they're better off without me, i'm not wanted here, i am repellent," they will draw you back out with their gaze, as though as long as they are bearing witness to you, you are a thing of value. And you will watch in disbelief as they bond and love one another so loudly and carelessly, and you will wonder why they aren't guarding themselves, why they're all so reckless with all their declarations. Don't they realise that it could all go away? Won't they feel foolish when it all goes to shit? And the more you hesitate to join them, the more they will want you to -- the more they will make it impossible not to love them, until your heart is so full to bursting that you sink back into despair, because this can only mean trouble. You will convince yourself that the brighter this love burns, the faster it will fade. You will throw yourself into every performance of that role you worked so hard for, knowing on some level this is what has granted you temporary access to these people and these feelings and that the better you do, the more invaluable you'll be. There must be something about you that they admire, and it's unlikely to be good looks or charm, so it must be your skills -- which you at least have some control over. As you perform the song from the show that everyone knows, about a boy who has been abandoned by his smoother, cooler, more popular friend, you will think about the friend you lost in order to access those same feelings of confusion, anger and self-disgust, only to realise that it all feels so far away now in the midst of everything else. So instead you will think about the friendships you are going to lose, undoubtedly, whether that's the day after the show closes or a month or a year or seven years from now, and you will cry onstage in front of your father who's sitting in the front row. When it's over, the audience will applaud, deceived into thinking you are an exceptional actor, and you will go backstage to be met with further praise from your castmates. You will still feel like a fraud. Despite this, you will soak in the warmth of their admiration and think, "I did it. Even if they never speak to me again, I have proven myself. I can die almost happy."
And then it will be almost a month later and you will be at the bar with these people again, and you'll catch yourself still theorising as to when it's all going to end. Will tonight be the last time we see each other? Will this be the last time I hug him, or her, or her, or him? And you'll realise that the thought of it no longer frightens or consumes you. "If I never see them again," you think, "I'm glad to have known them. I'm so privileged to have had this."
But part of you secretly wishes it will never end, because you're still 21 and stupid.
0 notes
hello frens i have changed my url
no longer am i mystical-lilacs,,
i have transcended into the realm of a-sarcastic-affair
the satirist’s love song is the best ld song fgiht me
6 notes
·
View notes