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tenok · 2 months

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Still fuming about «Crowley’s so queer it makes Aziraphale looks straight» take. I saw some people saying «queer is not a political identity» as an argument against it... and actually I disagree. Queer is an identity that’s as much about politics and community as is about gender and orientation. «Queer as in fuck you» indeed! And while I’m pretty sure that if you’ll ask Aziraphale he will say that he’s queer because mentally he still in times where it was term preferred by community as whole (or he’ll say that «gay» is his gender because he still links gender and orientation together and it’s a habit thats hard to break), I’ll argue that he’s definitely queer by definition. And I won’t say that one of them more or less queer, I want to vomit just from thinking this, but he and Crowley definitely different flavors of queer; and the point is community.

See, the Crowley we see is not the very community-oriented being. He despises angels and demons alike, he’s not close with humans, through whole series we saw him connected with Aziraphale, maybe Warlock, Shadwell to some point and only as a subordinate he’s not really interested in (Aziraphale actually remembered all the names of soldiers Shadwell pulled from his ass, on the other hand [book, also in script if I remember correctly]). But for Aziraphale community is the whole deal. He links himself to communities: community of book collectors, for example ([in book at least]), community of angels (even in season two he regretfully said that he misses reporting back to his lot), as soon as he put his roots there he become part of British and specifically London community (immediately clocked as British by everyone, for better or for worse). And he’s clearly consider himself and considered by others as part of queer community. For example:

He’s clocked as specifically effeminate gay man (which is part of queer umbrella oh my god stop misuse of political slogans gay are not some kind of others that are lesser for being gay!!!) by everyone, to the point of getting called homophobic slurs (twice in book, once in series) and being targeted by literal Nazis. He’s not arguing or denying, he reclaims it: he’s not calling himself gay, he’s proudly declaring that he’s THE southern pansy (not very «hurray establishment» of him hmmm?). He looks so gay and safe that cemetery man from season 2 doesn’t see a problem in telling him he uses grindr!

Tied to this: he can present as anyone else, he chooses to look soft, gay, effeminate, he chooses to make silly sounds and flamboyant gestures, and as soon as he gets comfortable he likes to go a little campy (can you imagine Crowley in ribbons and frills? do we see male-presenting Crowley in pink silky shoes? would he fight to the death before you put him into pencil-drawen moustache and bright cape with shiny starts? yes he’s GNC! there’s more then one way to be GNC and one is not better then other because it’s in black and sexy!). I’ll argue that him choosing one comfortable presentation and stick to this is no less groundbreaking by heavens standards then «hoarding all the genders» since he’s not treats his corporation as «meat suite», he really had an identity tied to it!

And using this identity he becomes part of 100 guineas club. Part of gay/queer (it was in times where this distinction was meaningless) community with fellow queers, where he learned queer ways, such as dances, becoming part of queer culture as a whole (and should I remind you that back in days drag was mandatory part of such clubs? if we measuring queerness by how close it to cross-dressing apparently). He also collects literature by queer authors, immersing himself in this culture, again. Do I remember correctly that Oscar Wilde gifted him one of his books specifically? So we can safely assume he hangs with queer authors as well? Correct me if it’s not in canon (I’m freely mixing tv and book canon there btw although usually I treat them as two different things)

He also lives in Soho. He specifically chooses to live there, knowing perfectly well what a neighborhood it is (even back in 1600s it already had a Reputation). He knows what it says about him and he aims for it! (Crowley lives in Mayfair because it says something about him too — remember that while Aziraphale constructed himself around being soft and gay, Crowley intentionally made himself look as irrating rich asshole. If this asshole has vibes of sinister gay that would gladly corrupt you if you ask nicely, that’s another story) He is a part of this community! As a word of god, he: speaks Polari freely because he used it… with other queers (as oppose to Crowley that knows «bits» because he hangs out with criminals); he hide incriminating things from fellow Soho residents back when there were police raids (breaking law to help those in need is reacurring theme with him!). He still part of this community, he knows people, people knows him, he literally gives place to lesbian women for free so she can have her dream shop (supporting your local queer business!) (also great call back to Edingurg minisode! Aziraphale, personal saint of broke lesbians!)

I’ll also argue that letting in first Gabriel and next Muriel was a very queer of him. Queers help other queers: he may not like Gabriel, but «he has no other friends» (and he's homeless after being kicked out from heavens after disaster forbidden love affair with other queer being, hmmm? paralleles with reality of being queer much?), so he steps in. And Muriel, while being the same age as those two (we're NOT child-coding Muriel in this house), vibes as queer youth in needs of guidance, and Aziraphale, that had every right to be suspicious and cold to them, immediately lets them into safety of his shop and tries to be nice and supporting in both older queer and older ND cousin way.

So, in conclusion: Aziraphale is a queer being, that likes to make it clear that he’s queer and queer GNC man specifically; he’s part of queer community for at least couple hundred of years, participant in queer culture, and he watches out for other queers, helping his own as much as he can, using his money and other resources and breaking law to do so when needed. What there can make him look straight even as a joke?

Crowley is absolutely a queer being too, in very queer love with other queer being, and I'm sure he has a blast pocking into rules and boundaries of genders, orientations and all kinds of relationships since he loves questioning and testing so much. He also has a cool rebellious aesthetic and «fuck all» attitude, so it’s understandable that he becomes tumblrs queer icon (and being played by David Tennant helps for sure). But if you ask them both where’s local shelter for homeless queers located, one of them will have an answer and it won’t be a Crowley, or he wouldn’t sleep in his car (I'm joking), and this is as much of the part of being queer as having cool aesthetic or being kicked from home (I'm joking again). And it's a shame that some people want to make a competention out of it, because it gives us infinity possibilities to discuss their different experiences and choices, down to what their respective aesthetic choices says about them, and how they can use their strong sides to support each other! But alas.

#good omens #aziraphale defense squad #bad takes that won't let me sleep at night #makes Aziraphale look straight my ass #that's a nice post! bitchy one will stay in my head!#btw I wouldn't spend my time at it if person that wrote that take made a honest mistake trying to joke but apparently it's not their first #bad take so while I don't want to pick a fight I want to at least rant

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thebutterflyranger · 4 years

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We all know this but I want to give you a reason to talk about Will: your favourite fictional character and why you love them

*Breathes in* Apologies, but this is gonna be a very long post.

John Flanagan has done a lot wrong - so many things that I will never forgive him for. But one thing he did so right, is my man Will Treaty from book 1-11. I know he seems like an average main character, but to me, he is way more than that. He is the embodiment of an imperfectly perfect person. I could talk about him in-depth, including all the headcanons and analysis, but to make it simple, I’ll just focus on the canon.

Why Will Treaty is the fictional love of my life:

1. He is incredibly strong not just physically which he really is idk why people sleep on that but the mental perseverance that is shown throughout the entire series. From the first book to the end. His life is so tough, more than we can really fathom, and yet he pushes through it all.

2. His curiosity is very cute to me. Like the fact that he wants to know everything, but not in an annoying way...his mind is just trying to absorb everything at all times.

3. His ability to catch things on really fast. Like, not much gets past him at all. And once he got something,,,he got it. Halt said it, and so did Berrigan. Whether its picking up songs, or that little coin trick, or a bird whistle. He is quick.

4. His respect for his elders. Whether its Halt or Crowley or Arald or anyone. He is the classic good-boi who just wants the adults to be proud of him. All jokes aside, he is probably the last person to do anything that would remotely make Halt upset. He makes jokes and is light, but never crosses the unspoken line.

5. His sense of humor. Lmfao because he is funny as shit and witty as fuck. That joke about a good knight’s sleep? A riot. Lmfao at I love that he just wants people around him to laugh, and he knows what to say to lighten up the mood.

6. The fact that he always seems to know the time and place for things. He knows when to get serious and when to crack a joke. He very rarely says things out of turn, and when he does he backtracks instantly. You won’t catch Will saying something insensitive or rash. It's shown several times that he makes people around him comfortable by just being around them.

7. THE WAY HE TREATS THE WOMEN IN HIS LIFE. All of the women he has interacted with….ooofh he exudes big feminist energy. From his respect and love for Pauline; calling her “Lady” until she tells him not to, making promises to her that he remembers throughout his mission. The modesty and respect he had for Edwina - and the fact that she took an instant liking to him. His interactions with Jenny - the way he compliments her and makes her feel better about herself, the way he is a literal brother to her. Even Cassandra; the way he took care of her and gave her comfort when she needed it, and afterward how he always had respect for her. Ceilma!!! Delia!!! He is Good to all of them. And then there is Alyss.

8. There are several things about his relationship with Alyss, besides the fact that he would legit commit treason for her, that GET ME IN THE SOUL:

a. The fact that he would go miles out of his way to make her feel loved and not alone. He signaled to her for DAYS in Macindaw, with no reply back from her and no guarantee that she would reach out. But he made sure he would be there if and when she did.

b. The fact that she knows he would wait for her patiently. Like No rush. Take your time baby.

c. The fact that he is a strong enough man to marry an intelligent and highly capable and strong woman like her

d. The fact that he is protective of her, but has no doubt in her ability. The only reason he is reluctant when she goes on missions...is because he loves her and doesn’t want anything to happen to her.

e. He is super affectionate. Holding hands, kissing, hugging. Ahem, I love that for him.

9. His readiness for death. It gets me every time, how he is in the heat of battle and fighting for his life, but the moment he realizes there is no way he can get out of the situation alive...he relaxes. He closes his eyes and waits calmly, seemingly at peace. It is eerily beautiful to me.

10. His selflessness. Putting his life on the line for others - over and over again. He did it for Halt, he did it for Horace, he did it for Alyss.

11. He is perfect Husband Material (see 12-17)

12. He can cook. Very well. As Alyss said: Get you a mans that can cook

13. And he can clean, AND he is organized? O h?

14. He can sing too??

15. Oh btw he can also play an instrument.

16. I forgot to mention that he is very good with young kids.

17. He is loyal as fuck. Won’r cheat, the thought won’t even cross his mind.

18. He is smart as hell. The decision making, the planning, the ambition of his ideas. His innovation. description of his quick mind is just ahskajkh. The fact that Halt would choose him over Gilan and Crowley because of how quick he is (and because that’s his literal son) just gets me. His vocabulary is out of this world - which has convinced me that he is an avid reader. His ability to put two-and-two together almost immediately

19. He has a temper, but when it’s valid and necessary. You hurt the people he loves? He will murder you. You cause harm to innocent people? He will reign justice on you. You annoy the fuck out of him? Best believe he will whOOP YOUR ASS. He is no innocent timid pushover. Things will bother him, and he will lash out. He is human. It’s normal. It’s hot.

20. His love for animals. The way he is with Tug is so heartwarmingly endearing. He genuinely loves him and considers him his friend. The conversations they have together. And his care for his dogs is so adorable I can’t. The way he trained Shadow and Ebony to do those cute things...you know he would be a great father.

21. The energy he gives off to other people. Throughout the series you have people who have only interacted with him briefly, thinking about the pleasantness of him. He is just a good guy and people seem to be comfortable around him. He makes them smile, his face puts them at ease, he speaks softly. Whether it’s the boat keeper at Seacliffe, Umar and Ceilma at Arrida, or Malcolm, or the multiple farmer families he interacts with - they always mention how respectful and lovely he is.

22. His care and love for Horace. Their banter and ease with each other. The fact that he would kill and die for him. The fact that Will wishes Horace could live next to him. Its that classic cute “I-want-to-hang-out-with-my-best-friend-all-the-time-cuz-he-make-me-happy.

23. His relationship with Halt. I need a whole separate post for this.

24. His humility. From his aversion to attention to his inability to take a compliment, to him being watchful of sounding boastful or arrogant. And the fact that he doesn’t even realize how his name and image has impacted thousands of people. He is a whole legend...and he don’t even know.

25. The fact that he is the most capable and skilled Ranger there is. Periodt. I don’t want no one to @ me. You know I’m right. At his peak, he was the best in the history of the Corps.

26. Will is adorkable. The corny jokes he makes, the fact that he talks to his horses, the fact that he doesn’t realize that he is a pull god. Cutie. 10/10 would die for the dude.

27. The fact that he is clumsy when it comes to food. That is me. If food is in my hands, 9 times out of 10 it gets in somewhere on my clothes.

28. His coffee addiction. It geeks me so hard how he literally can’t help himself. He want. He is tired and he just want the coffee. Give it to him

29. His hatred of goodbyes. Idk i just think it’s heartbreaking but also very touching how he doesn’t look back when riding away from someone.

30. The fact that he isn’t afraid to show emotions. I don’t see very much, if any, toxic masculinity in Will. He is manly in his physique and power, but also in that he is comfortable in showing his emotions. He is a strong enough man that he married a strong woman. He doesn’t shy away from saying he is scared, or worried, or anxious. He tells Halt or Alyss all his feelings, without worrying about sounding weak. He openly cries many times throughout the books.

Ummm these are all that I can think off the top of my head.

#rangers apprentice #ra #will treaty #this is my love letter to the boi #im not even ashamed #ranger's apprentice #will treaty the dark sexy god

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serendipitous-magic · 4 years

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when you were talking about stylistic influences, you said that you found it hard to do comedy. would you mind elaborating on that? i also find that there's very little writing that makes me LOL, and most of what does is fanfic. have you seen comedy done well in writing (novels, fic, etc.)? how do you approach it yourself? (btw fwiw i think your comedic sense is great)

Writing comedy is like writing a sex scene. You have to maintain tension. Except, I find comedy 200% harder, because with sex scenes you can rely on physicality. It’s a momentum built on what and how the character feels. There’s expectation and payoff, just like with comedy - except, in comedy, the payoff often hinges on surprise. A reversal of expectations - or, if not a reversal, simply something you didn’t expect. A huge amount of comedy is made up of the unexpected. We laugh because we’re taken off guard.

Ex:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1D61dV18TNE

Ex:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBJU9ndpH1Q

Ex:

Ex:

Now, not all humor is based on shock or Wacky Zany Unexpectedness, but I would argue that all humor relies on a sort of momentum, a tension. It’s something you have to actively keep up throughout the duration of however long the humor is supposed to last - and if you’re writing a comedy, that’s the whoooole thing. It’s performative, in a way. You can’t create comedy passively, even if part of the humor relies on silence or expectant pauses; you have to be engaged, start to finish. It takes a lot of creative energy, even for people who have a gift or passion for it.

And moreover, even for people with a natural gift for comedy, it’s a skill. You get better at it when you practice. There are rhythms and shortcuts and rules of thumb.

I would say this may be especially true when you’re writing, because (unless you’re working with a co-writer), writing is just you. If you’re an actor or performer you have your co-stars to play off of; or, at the very least, you likely have an audience. Humans naturally feed off of each other’s emotional states. We’re herd animals. Ever noticed how it’s 1000% easier to laugh when you’re around friends than when you’re alone? For me, it’s even much easier to laugh when I’m listening to a podcast or watching a video than when I’m reading, because hearing human voices tricks my brain into thinking, “Oh, it’s Social Time!”

I personally find writing pure comedy difficult because it’s just me, sitting alone in a room typing words on a screen. However, I also haven’t done much comedy, and like I said it’s a practicable skill, so I’m sure I’d get better at it if I made a real effort to practice.

Comedy well done in novels:

Douglas Adams! Especially The Hitchhiker’s Guide series. Classic touchstone of literary comedy in my opinion.

“The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.”

“For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.”

“In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”

Terry Pratchett also does a great job at humor - I especially enjoyed his team-up with Neil Gaiman for Good Omens:

“All tapes left in a car for more than about a fortnight metamorphose into Best of Queen albums.”

“Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft are written by men.”

“The Kraken stirs. And ten billion sushi dinners cry out for vengeance.”

They also do a fantastic job with situational humor, such as Crowley’s car being on fire and the one random guy giving directions completely ignoring it because he’s like “Well, surely he must know his car is on fire.”

Rick Riordan:

“Ever come home and found your room messed up? Like some helpful person (hi, Mom) has tried to “clean” it, and suddenly you can’t find anything? And even if nothing is missing, you get that creepy feeling like somebody’s been looking trough your private stuff and dusting everything with lemon furniture polish?”

“I’ve met plenty of embarrassing parents, but Kronos, the evil Titan Lord who wanted to destroy Western Civilization? Not the kind of dad you invited to school for Career Day.”

“He’d changed since the last summer. Instead of Bermuda shorts and a T-shirt, he wore a button-down shirt, khaki pants, and leather loafers. His sandy hair, which used to be so unruly, was now clipped short. He look like an evil male model, showing off what the fashionable college-age villain was wearing to Harvard this year.”

“We only came close to dying six or seven times which I thought was pretty good. A minute later Annabeth hit a slippery patch of moss and her foot slipped. Fortunately she found something else to put it against. Unfortunately that something was my face.”

J.K. Rowling:

I love me a smart-ass narrator.

“This is night, Diddykins. That's what we call it when it goes all dark like this.”

“Lee Jordan was finding it difficult not to take sides. 'So — after that obvious and disgusting bit of cheating —' 'Jordan!' growled Professor McGonagall. 'I mean after that open and revolting foul —' 'Jordan, I'm warning you —' 'All right, all right. Flint nearly kills the Gryffindor Seeker, which could happen to anyone, I'm sure, so a penalty to Gryffindor, taken by Spinnet, who puts it away, no trouble, and we continue play, Gryffindor still in possession.”

-_-_-_-

I’m having trouble finding the funniest quotes, but y’all know what I’m talking about.

As far as how I approach it myself:

Well, see the top up there. (Waaaaay up there before my whole lecture, lol.) If I’m trying to write something humorous, I approach it from an angle of momentum or energy. Keep up a kind of tension, even if the scene itself is fairly laid-back, and play on unexpectedness - sometimes situational, sometimes in phrasing or dialogue. A snarky narrator is always a good way to add an edge.

Basically, if I’m trying to be funny in my writing, I write as if I’m joking around with a group of friends - the group of friends being my audience. Same ballpark. Reference inside jokes (which were established earlier in the story), play on repetition and reversal of expectations, joke around about “relatable” things (much of early meme humor relied on this), be sarcastic or dry or exaggerated as the situation calls for. Even if there’s no one really there and I’m just typing words on a page, I find it much easier to approach humor if I come at it from a perspective of kidding around with my audience and having fun with them, instead of just sitting by myself at my desk writing words.

Well that was kind of all over the place but hopefully it answered your questions!

I should start a consistent tag for these asks where I accidentally write long-winded essays on how I write.

#asks #anon #writing #my writing #humor #comedy #gwen talks about writing

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expression-in-its-essence · 4 years

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The Goldfinch movie.

7 min 26 secs in : Why the fuck did they start the movie like that. Why didn't the explosion take place? Theo's mom's apartment? His anxiety? Also.. why do they keep cutting the scenes abruptly? They ain't tweets... No limit.. then??

8 min 2 sec in : Okay they went to the apartment. Audrey's sweater deserved more screen time. The lipstain on the mug in focus *chef's kiss* poetic cinema!

9 min 19 sec in : Do you see what I see? Tom Cable's face has a stark resemblance to Boris's face. Did Theo have a crush on him?

9 min 54 sec in : Mr Barbour's hand is shaking. I like that they put it in there. He was sick. Nice. (I'd imagined Audrey's apartment building entrance like they showed the Barbour's apartment building entrance. Wild.)

11 min 8 sec in : Don't shove it into his face that y'all are fancy okay? He's not used to that life style. He didn't have maids making his bed. ARE YOU GIVING HIM DRUGS, MRS BARBOUR? But you just glared at your husband for offering him the same sort of thing?? Oh God. Poor child. "it's perfectly understandable" my ass. You gave him meds just because your sleep was getting affected.

14 min 39 sec : Woah woah woah Theo wtf you're so smol how'd you do that? Also... Again. The frame of Theo and Tom standing close and Theo and Boris standing close when they kissed, Theo is wearing the same damn sweater.

16 min 58 sec in : Ayyyy Jeffery Wright!

20 min 33 sec in : "He drank a lot", Theo about his dad. Honey just wait up, you will too. (The grilled sandwich and the cute lil smile 😍 also this is the first time since the movie started that Oakes' voice isn't deep.)

23 min 54 sec in : Wizard of Oz poster, I see you!

24 min 19 sec in : I love how Oakes is expressing being caught off guard. Theo knows he did something bad and every time he's dealing with something he didn't expect to deal with, he's like OMG THEY KNOW ABOUT THE PAINTING AND IM FUCKED even if no one knows.

25 min 1 sec in : The glasses made a difference. He went from mature to cute. Angry bird to angry birb.

25 min 44 sec in : Another sweater? Or was this THE sweater of Audrey? (Off topic but Oakes is hella cute. I could murder anyone who hurts him.)

29 min 9 sec in : Pippa doesn't remember or doesn't wanna remember? There was something in her eyes that was hard to read. Also, why doesn't anyone say 'I'm sorry about your mom' to Theo? Do Americans not care? It's weird to see no response when he tells people that Audrey is dead.

31 min 17 sec in : "The Goldfinch, destroyed"? Then why is Theo upset. Good riddance. Oh yeah. I know why. It's Donna Tartt we're talking about.

32 min 39 sec in : Hobie just casually predicting the future. "It's only fake if you pass it on as an original". Theo's like, "noted, gonna do exactly that".

34 min 16 sec in : Why does Theo write like a five year old child? That's toddler handwriting! And omg all the Andy-prom-dress memes are making sense now. (Also did I mention that Mrs Barbour seems more selfish in the film than she does in the book. Like hey I'm putting up with this kid because he helps my kid. He's serving a purpose for me. What the hell.) (How old is Andy anyway? He looks younger than Theo. I think he's different. Didn't grow up like other kids. That was mentioned in the book right?)

35 min 20 sec in : Ayyy Hobie's earring!

35 min 49 sec in : He shopped for himself? Nice! Didn't know kids could shop without adult supervision in the West. (Because they can't in the East.)

35 min 50 sec in : Ayyyy Sarah Paulson! Damn she's hot. How can you dislike her? *heart eyes*

37 min 30 sec in : I can't bring myself to hate Luke Wilson since Skeleton Twins but SHUT THE FUCK UP LARRY! AUDREY DESERVED BETTER. Look at how Larry and Xandra are looking at the place like they're vultures.

39 min 34 sec : They got the airport scene right. STOP GIVING HIM DRUGS WTH IS WRONG WITH THE ADULTS IN THIS MOVIE!

41 min 12 sec in : Ayyy Popper!!!!!

43 min 27 sec in : It just dawned on Theo that he's alone. Oh god. My poor baby.

45 min 12 sec in : Let me take this moment to say that Ashleigh Cummings is pretty. And I finally get why y'all were pissed at the non linear storyline and the weird voiceovers. Guess I'd been prepared for that so it didn't really suck that much.

49 min 30 sec in : I'd imagined Boreo reunion like the Platt Theo reunion. In the day. Dang it. Also... Adult Platt Barbour was not supposed to be good looking? In the book?

55 min 34 sec in : Without context, none of it could make sense. Apologies to whoever didn't read the book beforehand. Crowley fucked this up.

58 min in : Ayyyy Finn Wolfhard! BORIS IS HERE AND IM SO EXCITED IDK WHY

1 hour in : It's such a Boris thing to leave the bag unzipped.

1 hour 3 min 20 sec in : Slumdog Millionaire's Jai Ho (2008) is playing in the background. The only song that I've recognized so far. Wow. Lets me know about the time setting. Nice.

1 hr 3 min in : Someone gif " That cost twenty dollars!" *Stare* "That would have cost twenty dollars!"

1 hr 8 min in : So Boris's room is exactly like I had imagined but Theo's room isn't. Boris just mentioned Kotku though.

1 hr 9 min 14 sec in : Isn't it hella hot in Vegas? Why are they wearing sweaters? Or does drug intake make you more vulnerable to the environment?

1 hr 10 min 15 sec in : Xandra Theo argument : gold. "Cocktail sausages that you like." I wanna laugh in Crowley's face. What was he thinking?? Omg I'm dying.

1 hr 11 min 17 sec in : The slap sound didn't work??

1 hr 13 min 53 sec in : I like serious Boris better.

1 hr 14 min in : The slum house Audrey dream thing was not in the book. That's an entirely new addition.

1 hr 18 min 26 sec in : The Welty Theo scene is awesome. The sound effects work. I feel suffocated. The ambulance noise fiasco is also nicely pulled off. (also Theo's Yellow bag was dirty af then how did it get all clean when he didn't even do anything to it?)

1 hr 20 min 57 sec in : Shhhh Potter.

1 hr 22 min in : Holy shit he got slapped twice!! Ouch! And Larry's audacity to tell Theo to stop with the crying?? Good thing he died. Asshole.

1 hr 25 min in : "You don't tell me a lot of things but that's okay". I see what you did there, Boris. Which was of course, I love you.

1 hr 26 min in : "Act normal" - Theo knows his way around drugs pretty well, doesn't he?

1 hr 30 min in : "No family No friends" line punched me in the face. (Also awww popchik's excuse was the last resort for Boris to make Theo stay.)

1 hr 31 min 17 sec in : That pause after "What do you have to tell me?". You can clearly see Boris struggling to hold something back. Which was of course, I love you.

1 hr 31 min 34 sec in : What the fuck is that music? Oh heyyyyyy they kissed!-- he fucking runs away?? Also what kind of a kangaroo runs like that? (Yes, the taxi driver watched. I don't have to wonder anymore.) (They didn't address why he took the bus instead of flying?)

1 hr 33 min in : I didn't imagine Welty's room like that at all. Also why doesn't Hobie seem happy to see Theo again?

1 hr 35 min in : Longer stretches of one storyline are kinda bearable. From drugs in storage unit to waking up beside Kitsey. We got Vegas and Young Theo. Nice. (Also, who the heck puts jewelry in shoes? Is Theo that dumb? And now I can't think of anything else than Boris piercing his ear for the emerald earring. Tumblr has fucked it up bad.)

1 hr 43 min in : They nailed the Kitsey Theo confrontation.

1 hr 44 min in : Ayyy Ozma of Oz!

1 hr 48 min in : I noticed it before but I wasn't sure... Now I am. Pippa has Welty's ring. On her finger. At all times. (also, is NYC always that noisy? Must suck to walk on the roads.)

1 hr 52 min 23 sec in : They nailed the Theo Pippa date. What's that song playing in the background? I want the name. It's almost like two hours and I still haven't seen Aneurin Barnard once. Why! (Jerome's mentioned in the movie btw.)

1 hr 52 min 51 sec in : Complained too soon. Boris is sat in the dark doing god knows what. My man Aneurin is here!

1 hr 53 min 37 sec in : BOREO REUNIONNNNNN - no don't look at me like that I only watched it thrice.

1 hr 56 min in : Boris saying "it's someone else" with a knowing look and Theo looking at him. The frickin yearning.

1 hr 57 min in : Boris is like you're unhappy, I'm here, we're both rich, let's f*ck. "We could"... What are you suggesting dude he's repressed!

1 hr 58 min in : "you unwrapped it and showed it to me." So many meanings. The heart, the love the soul... Wow. Good for you, screen play writers! ( It's kinda hilarious how Boris got mad at Theo for never quote unquote fucking opening it.)

2 hr 1 min in : I'm calling it. They're going to fuck up the Theo Hobie confrontation. They put it on the wrong time. And they also fucked up the text from the book.

2 hr 5 min 48 sec in : Even Platt is saving his sister's face. Also where did Todd go? Did he never grow up? I wish Mrs Barbour didn't use Theo like she did.

2 hr 7 min in : The frame where Boris is between Kitsey and Theo. Chef's kiss.

2 hr 10 min 54 sec in : *intense music playing* Boris put his leg up on the table and I burst into laughter THOSE ARE THE FAMOUS FUCK ME PUMPS.

2 hr 11 min in : AAAAA THE FOREHEAD TOUCH AAAAAAA (Theo just knows without looking that Boris is close enough to touch? Theo are you sure you don't feel feelings for him?)

2 hr 12 min in : Theo is so worried that I'm not sure if it's for Boris or for losing the painting again. Omg he just murdered a man. Oh god.

2 hr 14 min in : Theo is spiralling. In the movie they imply that Hobie played a part in him attempting suicide. So wrong. Poor Hobie. In the book that wasn't the case.

2 hr 15 min in : The transition of the Goldfinch into Audrey, wow. Also, is it the first time we're seeing her? The movie started so long ago that I've forgotten if I saw Theo and Audrey in the museum. Boris following right after Audrey? That's a subliminal message. Boris is here to rescue y'all.

2 hr 16 min in : No shit Boris is freaking out right now.

2 hr 17 min in : The diner scene. They're both crying. "Happy Christmas, Potter" - which was of course, I love you.

2 hr 18 min in : No don't you dare compare Audrey and Mrs Barbour. Audrey would never drug her child or use him for her benefit.

2 hr 20 min in : Poor kid bumps into his mom lol. I found it funny.

On the whole

The movie was nice if you'd read the book beforehand. The first hour was steak, The second hour was Korean BBQ and the rest of the twenty minutes were minced beef. If you get what I mean. Weird analogy. It could have been much better. But it was really very nice in some places. Most places I'd say.

I didn't like how the pop songs ruined the mood of certain moments. I didn't like how you couldn't hear the conversation over the music playing. For example in the engagement party when Platt and Theo talked. Or in the diner scene.

Both Borises killed the accent thing. They tried their best. Cut them some slack.

Oakes deserves an Oscar for holding up this movie on his smol shoulders. I was shook at how a kid could act that well.

Popchik deserved more screen time. I'm still pissed they didn't add the Popchik Boris reunion. But then they couldn't make it chronological, what were we supposed to expect anyway.

Ansel Elgort y'all. Theo sure improved his handwriting lol. Ansel's writing is nice. He was actually good in this movie. Better than he was in The Fault In Our Stars. The internet is just mean. The critics too. I will never understand the hate.

All in all, it could have been a better adaptation but it didn't suck as bad as everyone made it out to be. John Clownery should be punished nonetheless. Special shout-out to Roger Deakins for making it work.

#donna tartt #theo decker #boris pavlikovsky #finn wolfhard #oakes fegley #ansel elgort #aneurin barnard #the goldfinch #boreo

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bamby0304 · 6 years

Text

Bamby Reacts- SPN 14x01

Okay, so... I know I was gonna wait for it to come on TV but I lost... and won at the same time, ‘cause I watched Supernatural 14x01!! I wasn’t gonna do anything like this, but the second I saw Sam I knew I had to write my reactions down, so here we go :):)

Below the cut is a little bit of complaining about Danneel (don’t get me wrong, though, I like her), some curse words, and obviously spoilers. Also... it’s a long post...

So… the ‘previously’ thing ends and I see Sam and I actually made a noise and quivered. Like… fuck me… holy shit… my insides everywhere vibrated…

And then I realised he’s driving Baby and my heart broke…

MICHAEL!DEAN

Fuck me, Jensen needs to talk in other languages more often.

I’ve got literal chills and I’m only… 3:04 into the ep.

I just wanna mount him…

Now that ^ that’s out of the way… I shall continue.

"Gabriel?", "The other one. The better one." - Now, now, Mikey, lying is a sin, you know.

I mean, at least the guy didn’t say Lucifer… that would have been hilarious!!

"What do you want?" - Dean, you ass.

Ooh!! Ooh!! I like the title card!!

I don’t know if it’s all the fics I’ve read… but I don’t think I can trust Ketch, no matter how much Mary believes in him.

Sam’s taking charge out of the bedroom… it’s hot.

I love Maggie.

BOBB-EH!!

Who is this douche in glasses??

"Castiel, darling." - BARFF

DOUCHEBAG IS A DE-MON!!

"Joined at the… you know… everything." - again, I say… BARFF

Oh God and the slurping… hurry up and die, douchebag.

"I’ll speak slower" - I love you Cas.

"You will tell me everything you know, or I will burn you to ash. Right here and right now." - in that raspy tone… jeez, Cas, let a girl breathe.

Question, though… why couldn’t Cas see all the demon faces??

"CAS!! NO!!" is what I yelled when they started punching him.

Ooh!! Pretty church windows!!

Sister Jo… look, I’m not not a fan of Danneel… but I kinda wish Supernatural was a Dani free place. I know, it’s not fair and I sound stupid, but bringing Danneel into it kind makes me feel awks about loving Dean so much. I swear, if they get down and dirty, I may actually throw a fit or cry. Just sayin’.

But, also, I actually think Danneel is gorg and sweet… I just want Dean to myself :)

"Hey Jo” - am I the only one who thinks she should have been called Judy so Michael could have said, "Hey Jude" instead??

"You don’t recognise me with this pretty face?" - at least we know Michael isn’t blind.

Oh… shit… Michael is pretty…

How turned on do you think Jensen and Danneel got in this scene?? ‘Cause the way he’s looking at her… I don’t think that’s all Michael.

"What do you want?”

IF YOU KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS, WHY FUCKING ASK?!?!

He says ‘human’ like it’s a dirty word…

Ooh!! He’s awake (I already know who it is, but I’m still intrigued)

Sam stepping up and taking on the role of caring for Jack… that conversation… it felt very father-son like

Side note: Jack’s hair looks nice this season.

You can do it, Sammy :) xx

Oh, the look on Sam’s face is breaking my heart, honestly…

"Oh, hey Sam,” sounds too fucking much like Lucifer. Cut that shit out, Nick!!

I know a lot of people don’t read The Hart, and even if you do you guys don’t know what happens throughout the seasons, but the shit Lizzie goes through with Lucifer… I can’t look at Nick right now.

At least Nick knows what happened. I think… I think it’s better that way.

“Must be weird, you looking at me and seeing him." - understatement.

Good job, Sammy!! I’m proud of you :) xx

One second this dude has a southern accent, the next it’s a little British… how many demons are in that meat suit?? Or is this a dissociative identity disorder kinda deal??

Mary: It’s a trap. Sam: Yep. Me: Good job you two.

“He just told you he’s a demon?", "Yeah. Seemed pretty proud of it, too." - of course he did. He’s a douchebag.

Sam has gum in his mouth and I’m pretty sure it’s Jared’s, not his.

Jack stating, "I’m coming, too” made me laugh out loud, literally.

"Castiel you sure I can’t get you hot… and black?” - is… is he insinuating what I think he’s insinuating?? He’s… he’s making a move on Cas. What a d-bag.

Ah, yes, the roll of Castiel’s eyes. Perfection!!

Oh no *literal groan* do I have to listen to his childhood story or some shit now?? Really?? The villain speech??

Oh. My. Fucking. God. He’s seen Michael.

The three d’s and the Douchebag!! Should be a band name.

Wait, wait wait!! Let me guess!! He wants to be the new King of Hell??

"And? What is it?” - Castiel, I love you.

“Everything”

Sam’s voice is breaking and so is my heart!!

“Michael could have burned him out, or worse.” - I was going to say there’s nothing worse… but then I remembered what Lucifer put Sam through, and everything Gadreel did while in Sam, and yeah. Yeah there’s worse.

I’m not a huge Mary fan, but her determination to continue to fight for Dean is swaying me.

The guy walking up to Sam… is he leering?? I don’t blame you dude, but don’t objectify my man, ‘kay??

I swear d-bag has had 20 different accents in less than 30 minutes -.-

@crispychrissy yeah, I agree… that guy patting Sam down… I would love to be in his shoes. ‘Whoops… my hand slipped.’

It’s Sam Fucking Winchester, thank you very much, d-bag.

HE PUSHED MY SAMM-EH!!

“The shoulders. The hair. Mm-mmm.” - d-bag isn’t blind either

“You are my Beyonce." - Right-o mate, settle down there.

“I don’t damage the merchandise.” - HAVE YOU NOT SEEN HIS FACE, DOUCHEBAG?!?!

Sam gives zero fucks.

"Let’s make a deal.” - you’re dead.

And then Sam frowns and I swoon and yeah, it was a good time.

"I’m a demon. That’s what we do.” - I instantly started humming Katy Perry’s This is How We Do

Him tapping on the chair… Imma rip that finger off and shove it in his ass in a second.

"Barbarian.” - excuse me?? Weren’t you just talking about eating babies?? And do not talk about my Sammy like that.

"What do you want?” - is there a broken record player somewhere??

"Asmodeus Kentucky fried." - finally he came up with something good!!

Sam interrupting him is a big turn on.

By the way, I’m currently a little lonely, so everything Sam and Michael does is a turn on right now. Sorry, not sorry.

"Yes you do. Or you will.” - IS THAT A THREAT, MOTHER FUCKER?!?!

Now, while I don’t want there to be a king, if there was going to be one he would be on the bottom of my list of candidates.

"I want to work with you, Sam.” - this guy is an idiot

Don’t talk to Cas like you’re a threat. I will squash you like a bug.

Sam and Dean never turned their backs on demon activity… they just got… busy.

"We never gave Crowley that deal.” - Ooh!! Called it!!

Don’t fucking insult Crowley, Douchebag. You have no right. No foot to stand on. In fact, Imma cut those feet off and give those shoes to a Hellhound if you don’t shut up. Puppy could use a chew toy.

“I would eat your heart.” - YOU WOULD STARVE!!

"I’m not afraid of you.” - You should be.

"No.” - oh Sam you know how to turn a girl on!

This guy does a lot of talking…

BOBB-EH!! D:

SAMM-EH!! D:

"Balls.” - it’s all good!! Bobby’s fine!!

"Stab them with the pointy end.” - does Maggie watch Game of Thrones??

NO!! D-BAG HAS THE KNIFE!! D:

Sam looks nice in that jacket, btw

YAY!! D-Bag is dead!!

“There will be no new King of Hell.”

“And if anyone wants the job, you can come through me.” - oh baby, don’t tempt me.

So turned on right now.

Poor Jack…

Cas is just too much right now!!

*gasp* UNKNOWN CALLING!!

Oh.. it’s just Jo.

#supernatural s14 #supernatural s14 spoilers #spn s14 #spn s14 spoilers #supernatural spoilers #spn spoilers #bamby reacts

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