#but also lord I’m beggin let this man keep his hair dark for the next comeback cause I’m worried for his scalp

[tomsrebeleyebrow]

attraction |  hs vampire au

moodboard made by me so don’t use pls

Pairing: Vampire!Harry x NewbornVampire!Reader

Warnings: major mention of blood, basically a slow burn with sexual tension/teasing, SMUT including unprotected sex (wrap it up before ya tap it), kids), voyeurism, oral (f receiving) and so much more, fluff and a tiny bit of angst

Word count: 10.9k (oops)

A/N: well... hi again? i guess?? 🙃 back from the dead agaaaain 🙌🏻 okay but i had a major writer block since my last one shot and oof, was it tough... but now i’m back! more relax and feeling inspired for halloween? so hope you will enjoy this special oneshot about one of my fav brit boys ❤️💞

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Somewhere near London, UK – year unknown.

Tonight was probably the worst one you ever experienced in your life – well, afterlife –, aside from being turned into a monstrous blood creature against your will just a few months ago. Despite your new inhuman abilities, the mob running and screaming after you still gains ground since you’re leaving a most vivid trail for them to follow.

Though your heart no longer has a normal pulse it feels as if each thump is excruciating pain. The obvious reason might be because you haven't been able to feed yourself properly since you've been... reborn. And so very little human blood was running through your veins because you couldn’t seem to control the hypnosis power. That’s why you’ve been sticking to animal blood but if you were honest, it didn’t give your body the same strength.

Now your body starts to grow heavier by the minute, along with a most painful throb to your fangs that threatens to turn you into a mindless monster that will slaughter aimlessly just to get fed. But that's not what you want. No. No. It may have been four or maybe five months since you could no longer be considered as normal, but still you thought of yourself as a human. And hurting any human was just not conceivable at all for you. You just couldn’t... But sometimes, even the biggest will in the world wasn’t enough anymore.

I feel so sick, I can't go on much longer...

If only these damn hunters knew I wasn't going to kill anyone...

All I wanted was some of her blood because she was alone... just a little bit...

Tears form in the corner of your eyes, feeling like a lost and hopeless child despite being in your twenties. Though you suppose you won’t age anymore now? Or maybe age in such a slow manor you will not be able to see the changes until dozens of years pass. You have no idea at all. The person whom turned you didn't even care to explain a damn thing and just left saying it would be “quite amusing to watch you struggle”.

Your fangs grit in anger just by remembering all this, remembering how and why you could have been so naive – stupid being the right word actually. Willing the tears away you jump into the nearest centenary oak on the side and climb as high as you possibly can. The leaves and branches obscure most of your body, making it easier to hide yourself as you wait in breathless silence for several long minutes. The humans bellow carry guns and crossbows, even torches with blistering fires waving in the cool British wind so hiding from them is definitely the best solution here.

They seem confuse at losing sight of you and your tracks, but the conversation you pick up with your improved hearing foretells how they believe you're still in the area. A tall man with a buff body and dirty blond hair seems the most knowledgeable and well prepared as he dictates how everyone should fan out to cover more space.

Sweat is now dripping all over your body in a way that lets you know your consciousness is going to fade if you don't feed yourself soon. So you use the little strength you have left to escape their sight, silently crawling from a branch to another to reach the next tree. Your senses are becoming dull as well and you know by now you’ll never be able to put up much of a fight if they spot you.

Since there is no one around right now, you decide it may be the best opportunity to climb down and try to get further away into the forest. However, you barely make it to the ground, crunching some leaves beneath your feet before a bullet was fired directly at you. With the quickest slam of your body to the ground, you avoid being hit. For the moment, at least.

“Don't let her get away!”

“Shoot her down! She's weak now!”

Your head shakes, body shivering in a sense of mixed cold and fear, hearing dozens of weapons getting loaded before bullets and arrows start whizzing your way, thanks the lords most of them missing you due to your astute senses. Like blondie said, you are now really weak and can’t help but fail to avoid all of them as one wooden arrow pierces through your shoulder, sending you tumbling to the floor with a screech of pain.

It hurts more than you expected it to, but you grit your teeth and yank it from your skin in one motion. The wound may not be that deep but you can feel blood oozing down your back, staining the fabric of your long dress. After forcing yourself to stand you try to keep running, but after a few steps your body succumbs to your fatigue and falls, noticing the humans have now formed a pretty wide circle around you to cut off every single path possible to escape.

If you weren't this weak and starving for blood, you could fight them off and get away but at this moment, that’s completely impossible. A man with long black hair approaches, extending his hand forward as he’s holding out a wooden cross. The closer he gets the more a headache pounds inside your head, causing you to hiss in agony, tears swelling in your eyes and claws scratching the muddy ground.

Is this the end?

I never got to really live...

I never got to properly love... Love in a way that was true and fulfilling.

A tear slides down your cheek but it's too late. Everyone readies their crossbows and guns to fire at the behest of the long raven haired man. Both of your eyes immediately clench shut, preparing for your upcoming death...

But it never came.

Suddenly, screams and several wet crunches invade your ears while your eyelids slide open the moment you feel an imposing shadow looming over your body. A broad but not too bulky back comes into view as you note a peculiar style of clothing, the vivid red suit they wear contrasting with the dark surrounding of the London outskirt. However the smell of fresh blood rushes through your nostrils, causing your eyes to pulsate and your fangs to throb hungrily.

“How dare you filthy humans attack one of my kind.”

A deep unfamiliar voice penetrates your skull, making you lift your head and discover a tall man with dark wavy hair. He slightly turns towards you, sending you a stoic yet piercing type of glare with intense scarlet pupils that causes goosebumps to bubble all over your body. You have no idea who he is but you can feel in your guts that not only he is indeed a vampire as well but that he's extremely powerful, as demonstrated from the way he dismembers two humans with the vicious dart forward and jerk of his hands. The corpses join the other four on the floor who you discover have their heads decapitated in a clean swipe, no jagged edging to the flesh around their torsos.

The imagery is whiteout a doubt disgusting to even look at, but it's even more appalling that all you can think about is how delicious all this river of bloody disaster smells and how exquisite it would be sliding down you throat. You start to salivate heavily with the madness of hunger, the extreme sensation almost completely overwhelming you but you try your best to hold yourself at bay.

“I didn't expect to see ya again thi' soon, Harry...” your blonde pursuer sighs, his facial expression clearly showing that now, tables have turned.

“I don't want to hear it" interrupts your saviour (at least you hope he is?), his intimidating hoarse voice bringing chills to everyone – you included – while still in front of you. “Leave right now, Niall or I won’t hesitate to rip off y’head too.”

The man named Harry flares all ten of his claws to life, also baring his fangs to definitely reveal that nothing of this was just for show. “'m sick of you killing my people. If they're slaughtering the humans, it would be different but this one–” He turns pointing his finger at you, “this girl hasn't killed anyone. I can smell it... You're chasin' her down for no reason.”

“T-That's not– she was attacking someone, dat's why she got caught–”

"If you speak one more word to me that isn't beggin' for your life followed by leaving, I'll rip all of your limbs before I even go for y’head.”

Harry and Niall stare each other down, the tension as shape as a knife. The human may know how to counter his vampire foe but in all likelihood with most of their numbers dead or bleeding to death, he's aware that right now he has not a single chance. And once again, cohabitation seems the only way to get out of here in one piece (hopefully).

“Fine... we'll be goin'. I know thi’ is yar territory mate, we crossed da border” Niall apologises, a hand over his chest and a small bow before telling his fellow hunters to retreat back to the city.

Though Harry isn't usually happy about letting humans go his posture is finally relaxing a bit, claws retracting as he death glares everyone down until they are no longer insight.

With a long and heaved sigh he fully turns around, finding you holding your head and gritting your fangs in disarray. It's quite clear you are probably not even aware of your surroundings, the blood shot vessels in your eyes telling the brunette your current state of hungriness. As soon as he's by your side in a blink of an eye, he bends down on his knees in front of you, pushing your own hands away so he can clutch your cheeks.

“Calm down, dear, relax your mind. Open your mouth and let me see your fangs, please.”

Though you whimper in uncertainty, that man in front of you is after all the vampire that slaughtered those humans to save you. So you still let him give a look at your small white fangs, your whole jawbone hurting as if you just got punched right in the face.

“I see they haven't grown completely... You must’ve been turned recently, am I right?”

Harry seems slightly angry, though you're not entirely sure it's directed at you but more at his findings. When he pulls back, you follow his body as he grabs a nearby severed arm and brings it back to you. His brows raise in surprise, not expecting this reaction when you whine and push it away, clearly disgusted by it.

“There’s no time to be picky anymore, darling. Y'need to stop thinkin' you're still human, so drink the blood.”

Your head slowly raises, panting as you stare right into his most mesmerising green eyes, some scarlet red from before still outlining his pupils, with your own sorrow filled orbs. Though Harry knows what that look represents, he could hold no sympathy for your lost humanity as he delicately brushes his hand through your hair before pushing the flesh into your mouth for your own good.

It only takes a second for your fight to disappear, the taste of blood that your veins and taste buds have longed for these last weeks finally flowing in your system. Like a wild beast your fangs sink deeper into the arms flesh, sucking and gulping greedily until it's nothing but a shrivelled and discolored severed limb.

The older vampire watches your irises glow with the brightness of your eye colour. In like a snap the strained vessels inside your sclera dissipate bits by bits, assuring that the wound on your back would heal after some minutes as well. Harry expected it when you flicker with your new found strength over to one of the corpses and starts bleeding it dry.

He stands here, crossing his arms over his classy red velvet suit while watching over you. Once he judges you had enough and didn't want you to become addicted in a way that would drive you insane, he carefully but still kind of strongly grab your wrist. You let a little hiss at him, defiantly, which makes him smirk in a way that lets admire his now noticeable dimples and handsome features. Within a few seconds you calm down but Harry is now holding both of your wrists in his grip

“Stay still, dear” was his command, simple yet strict so it feels like you have no choice but to obey.

After letting go of both of your hands once you calmed down, Harry cups your chin with his thumb and index finger, gently turning your head back and forth. You are not sure what the brunette is doing until he finds feint punctures on the side pale skin of you neck. The wound itself seems healed but you still have little small bruises.

“How long ago were you turned and who was it? Why are they not here watchin' over you?”

His array of questions makes you frown, wiggling free of his grasp just so you can huddle your hands around your trembling sorrow body, memories getting their way back into your brain. Memories you consider more as nightmares that keeps hunting you like a damn curse, only to remind you at each breath you take that nothing will be like it was before.

“He was... s-someone I cared about. We'd been seeing each other for a while, and then one day... H-he bit me... a-and forced his blood down my throat.” Telling the story doesn’t really make you feel any better, specially when you let Harry know that the man you trusted only wanted to watch you suffer for his own pleasure.

Seeing a newborn vampire like yourself, looking as lost and fragile as a deer into the wildness, really gets to him. Harry lived for countless centuries he forgot the exact number, but he definitely knows since day one that turning people was against the rules for the most part. At least turning someone and not helping them come into their new desires, powers and hunger. Honestly he is quite impressed you lasted so long on your own when he heard you say it has been nearly five months.

“Come this way, darlin'. The air reeks of human filth out her’.”

With a sudden but graceful turn the vampire starts walking away and finds it amusing how you scamper behind him like a lost puppy. Even your hand grabs the back of his velvety suit, like you dread the feeling of being alone. His comparison to you as newborn is not to be mean or even condescending. You are just so new to your turning that it is perfectly plausible to be scared and anxious about literally anything in your surrounding.

Harry doesn’t mind at all and pretty soon, you both are stepping deeper into the forest your attack happened for a good twenty minutes if not more. Then in front of you slowly appears what looks like a field, a large meadow embraced by the night and in its middle a quint little cottage. It looks nice and homey, but not what you first expected from a fearful creature like him.

“It's not a castle...”

The older vampire sneers at your remark and then turns to you, showing a surprisingly charming grin before pointing to the east. “My real home's far away from here, that's where the castle of y’stories will be. It's vast an' much larger than y'could possibly think, but I don't really fancy it.”

Your eyes blink curiously at him before gasping and pointing your finger in disbelief, a sudden realisation sticking your mind.

“O-Oh my god– are you from r-ro-royalty?!”

“You could say that” the brunette grins while pushing some curly locks back from his forehead. “Lord Harold Edward Styles, is what they call me. Harry for short.”

He merely cackles when your eyes start to swirl in confusion, before babbling nonstop that you didn't know and hope in the same breath with fearful eyes that he won’t kill you. Harry can’t help but frown at this, letting out a sigh.

“Come 'ere and tell me your name, dear. I have no reason to kill ya.”

For some reason, the peaceful and serious expression on his face feel trustworthy, offering his hand like a safety net he knows you need to feel secure. So after a small nibble of your bottom lip, you slowly place your petite hand in his and let him pull you inside his home.

“My name is (Y/N)... Thank you for saving me, my Lord.”

It honestly feels awkward to refer to him like that but maybe was it his rightful term? Being now a vampire yourself, you assume your “rank” is probably way lower than his so “serving” him seems... obvious, right? Yet anything that was happening since you began this new life was a matter of pure confusion to you, even more now since your new encounter with this vampire from royalty.

“You wanted to know who turned me... well, his name was Nick. I don't know if he's still around here, I'm sorry–”

“Just call me Harry, darlin’. I don't care at all for useless formalities unless y’break the rules or try to attack me.”

You viciously nod your head. Never would you do that, you still feel incredibly grateful and intimated by just being in his presence.

“The name sounds familiar as well. A fugitive whose turns 'umans against their will for dozens of years...” Harry mutters to himself, looking pissed that the enforcers in charge of catching people like that still haven't.

And so over the next few days, you learned about your new species in details and got a low down on all the rules you must do your best to follow at all costs. Harry even began to teach you about your abilities and how to tame your appetite for blood, though he commented once again that you were handling yourself well from the beginning.

Harry is for sure a mysterious man and doesn’t honestly act like someone whom is probably rightful King to the vampire’s world. It’s pretty clear he lived a long life while yours had just started. He appears to you as a ray of hopeful guidance in a world that becomes murky and malleable.

“(Y/N), dear, come 'ere.”

At his beckoning call, you place down the book you're reading and come to sit down next to him on the couch. At this point you've been staying with him in the cottage for a few months and knew what to expect when his hands approach your visage to cup your cheeks. Though it’s still a little embarrassing, but still you part your lips and let him examine your fangs like he has many times before ever since you met.

“They're just 'bout fully grown, since you've been fed regularly.”

Your head nod as his hands delicately slide away. It looks like there is something going on his mind, an internal struggle based on his body language that you get used to understand by now.

“Are you still havin' headaches and painful pulses?”

Honestly you wish to say no so he wouldn't worry. But the man likes the truth and only the truth as if the word is his middle name, and you own him that.

“Sometimes... but I'm fine right now. I thought it might be a form of withdraw?”

“You're not too far off. That piece of– person who turned ya didn't give you enough blood. Your human cells an' new vampire ones were basically fighting for dominance at the beginning, but it's clear which one will win in the end.”

Lifting his hand he uses the sharp claw of his index to slice a gash across his palm. Instantly his dark red blood pools in his grasp, before holding it out towards you.

“Drink.”

“I... c-can't?” It comes out as a question because you are indeed confused. “I mean– am I even allowed to? You're the vampire Lord after all... I–I don't want you to get in trouble–”

Harry chuckles immediately, like there isn’t a being alive that could punish him for breaking the rules. With a lift of his unharmed hand looping around your hip, he has you feeling all kind of dizzy when he clenches his fist and dripped his blood onto your plump pink lips.

“Just drink, dear. Maybe I need to start teachin' ya not to question my decisions, mmh?”

His words and your newfound position that has you sitting in his lap makes you feel bashful. You barely begin to lick your lips when the brunette lets you grab his hand to hold it up against your mouth. He feels your warm tongue lap lightly at first along his cold skin, before pursing against the wound and slowly starting to suck.

“That's it... You can sink y'fangs in if you want. The wound will heal faster than you think.”

You blink your big doe eyes at him, your face wondering without a word if all this is alright but you know Harry doesn’t want you to doubt him. Pulling back for just a second you take a breath and bare you fangs again, gently pressing into his skin enough to gulp a little more of his blood. As soon as he decides you had enough Harry pulls back and to your surprise, his wound and marks of your fangs both disappear within a few seconds.

The corners of his pale lips edge up, amused by your astonishment but he startles you with a reposition of your body before you can even realise anything. Now your legs are suddenly straddling either side of his hips, both of your hands pressing timidly at the turquoise suit covering his shoulders with confusion and shyness as the vampire brushes back your hair and leans down to your neck.

“My turn, now” his voice enticingly rasps against your skin. “We can replenish each other thi' way... though my blood is more to stabilise your vampire genes.”

Harry aires the hottest breath along your neck as he then bares his long fangs and sinks deeply into your flesh. You can’t help but gasp, but it sounds more like a moan that you aren’t completely aware of as he starts sucking your warm liquid.

“O-oh Harry–”

He smirks at your honesty, looping both of his hands around your backside. Within seconds he feels your own unsure sway, with the slow pet up against the back of his dark curls. It's been awhile since the brunette had a woman in his arms so his instincts and desires are telling him to take advantage of it.

But in the end Harry resolves against himself as you are still new to his world, and just wants to help you without adding strings. After a handful of seconds and a gulp or two of your sweet wine he pulls back, tenderly lapping up and down the holes until they heal properly and then help you sliding off his lap to make you sit next to him, catching sight of a shy blush of your cheeks and slightly faze expression.

“You shouldn't experience headaches anymore, darlin'” he begins almost too indifferently, “just don't do anything futile an' you’ll get used to bein' a vampire in no time.”

Next Harry sits up more comfortably, flattening his cream oversize pantsuits over his thighs as he side-eyes your cute expression – though is kind of displeased that you’re not looking at him anymore. But he does have to admit that teasing someone was such a nice sensation.

"I’m goin’ to make us some food, so relax in the meantime.”

You simply nod as an answer, definitely not trusting your voice since only stutters would come out if you try. But Harry doesn’t seem to pay attention to your lack of vocal answer, a satisfied expression on his face since he keeps enjoying the reactions you get over anything he does. And as much as he could simply use pressure to dominate and have you sweating in fear, all the man wants is a companion that won’t mind being at his side for awhile.

And so that's exactly who you became to the vampire.

Even after a few months and display that you were functioning perfectly as a vampire and could live on your own without trouble if you desired, you stayed. But the disheartened expression you showed him when Harry said you could leave struck a chord inside his chest. It was clear you thought he’s got tired of you or that you weren't allowed to stay with someone like him for very long because of his status.

Instantly the older vampire put a stop to any of those thoughts by saying that if you wanted to stay, you could. He wasn't kicking you out, he was only giving you the opportunity to leave and see the world by yourself. You were still a young and inexperienced vampire after all. Though the thought of traveling didn't sound like a bad idea, the year you spent with Harry up to this point had been very enjoyable. He held a most gentle yet imposing aura, which was only right since he was not just Lord in name but mostly in power. However that wasn't why you wanted to stay.

Harry had taken care of you and made you feel safe. The feeling you began to experience for him was new but somehow, you wanted to nurture the desire to be with him and make him happy if possible. The way he talked, teased, touched, held you in his grasp and let you feed off of him felt so intimate and somehow romantic.

In this respect time flew by and in a way felt like it had frozen since neither of you would show any signs of ageing. Both of you grew closer and found out that Harry was (surprisingly) a great cook, received visitors from the castle he told you about almost all the time and had a soft spot for the graceful beauty of nature. It was not that hard to tell because the brunette admitted right away that he enjoyed wandering outside the cottage, might be only to walk around or appreciate the first rays of dawn or sunset. And you could tell he took care to not trample the flowers under his steps and sometimes, you saw him watering the ones around his front porch. Some days you would even notice a new bouquet freshly gathered, settled in a Victorian style vase on the living room table. It was a small most insignificant trait, but you adored finding out those types of mannerisms.

“Harry?” you call softly with a thoughtful finger under your chin. At first you thought he was reading in his study since he had a nice little library, but the room was empty. Turning back, you check the living room and kitchen but they are both empty as well.

For a moment you wonder if he stepped out without saying – he's done it multiple times before. However you stop in front of his bedroom and get the feeling he might be taking a nap, another thing that isn’t uncommon. If he indeed is resting you don’t want to disturb him but after a small knock, you peak your head inside the room.

Low and behold there the brunette vampire is laying sprawled out on his bed, the silly thought that it should have been a coffin makes you giggle but you learned with him that many stereotypical aspects of vampires are so wrong – though it's true you can't walk in the sunlight, that crosses can cause pain and any significant damage to your body will kill you.

Now that you know he's asleep, you can't ask him what you wanted. Without getting too close you watch him sleep for a second and find his peaceful expression alleviating. Every now and then, you get the feeling the weight of the world was on his shoulders. And inside your heart, you know he was such a good man. After maybe a minute you turn back, ready to head out the room but his low and raspy voice calls out to you in a way that has you tripping over your own feet, bumping into the nearby wall.

“What is it, (Y/N)? Aren’t ya a bit clumsy, dear?” Harry snickers while sitting up, watching you rub your shoulder with a flustered expression.

From the look on your face and the way you avoid eye contact, he can clearly guess what you are bashfully unsure of if it's alright to ask of him.

“If you want to be fed, come ‘ere.”

The fact that Harry always knows what's on your mind is a little scary and reassuring at the same time because he has never used any of his power to harm you. With soft eyes, you step over to the right side of his bed and watch as he unbuttons the first few around the collar of his extravagant flowing shirt. As soon as his neck is exposed from the lacy collar, the vampire leans to the side beckoning you to take what you want without a word.

A gulp slides down your throat as you sit down on the edge of the bed. With the lift of your hands, you slowly push his pearly necklace up then press them on each of his shoulders before brushing your nose along his neck, fanning an ever soft breath against his skin with the bare of your fangs.

“I really like your personality, Harry... I-I’ve never met anyone like you.”

Your tender confession catches him off guard more than the actual prick of your fangs, not that any bite you'd already given him comes with very much force. The brunette can feel himself enjoying the way you suck his blood out of his system. It’s definitely a hard thing to play off for him right now, and it has actually been every single day you shared with him.

When you had a gulp or two you then part a little and tenderly kitten-like lap at your punctures, speeding up the healing process for him.

“... do you want to bite me as well?”

Though your cheeks are a little warm you show a most candid smile, brushing back your hair to display your neck for him just as he has done for you.

“I do, but... I'll decide where I want to bite ya. Just relax, darlin'.”

Despite a little confusion, you don’t mind the tug of your body closer to his own. Both of his unblinking emerald orbs glanced your body up and down in a way that makes you feel embarrassed. If he’s not going to bite your neck, where else is he going to sink his fangs?

The dress you have on is a simple long white off the shoulder variety that honestly displays some of your skin while still letting you look sweet and innocent. Honestly Harry likes it a lot – maybe a bit too much actually – just because he would wickedly enjoy defiling that imagery in his mind. You are a kind and sweet woman, a total sweetheart indeed, but the man already found out vividly that you liked pleasure just as much as anyone else does.

Without thinking very much his cold hand raises up against your right knee, the tail of your outfit covering it. The way you shyly bite your bottom lip with your fangs is a hell of a nice image. Harry only caresses a little bit along your inner thigh before sliding his hand under the fabric, and then rest it directly on your skin. Edging his head forward he startles you with the way he tugs down the middle of you dress with his fangs, until he can see perfectly between your cleavage.

The location Harry chose is so confusing that your frame jolts the moment the vampire sinks into your flesh. Both his hands are against your body, enjoying its shape as he gulps your sweet nectar greedily. He savours your startled grasp on his shirt but the uneven pulse he feels beneath your flesh encourages him to keep going, his now scarlet orbs flickering with heavier desire.

All it takes is another small tug to reveal your bare breasts to his lidded sight. By time you realise his lips are already pursed around the closest nipple, warmly lapping the flat of his tongue in a way that feels exquisite. Like the male vampire you quickly get caught up in the moment, leaning your head back to moan and enjoy the added fray of his hand squeezing the other breast.

For a moment, you briefly thinks about how his saliva and tongue are both so warm as they suckle and lick your skin, when his flesh is cold and pale like your own. The answer doesn’t matter specially as his fangs tease your little nub. It’s clear Harry can’t hold back no more, now sunking savagely into your mound.

“O-oh my–!”

A ripple of pure ecstasy slides all over your body, causing you to moan Harry’s name not just once but a couple of times. The pleasure is so unexpected yet your arms circle around his shoulders, curving along his fine muscles but that’s when he realises how he’s letting his lust for you take over him.

Abruptly the brunette detaches from you, a small pop making you gasp but for the most part your hazy expression questions him with such want that he has to look away for his own sanity. The unhindered view of your breasts really dulls all of his develop senses. It had been awhile since he felt such powerful sexual desire for a woman, definitely way too long since his body was apparently getting out of control and a mind of its own. 

“Get out” Harry suddenly growls, making you frown and wonder what you’ve done wrong. “I didn't mean to do that– I just got caught up in trying to tease ya. If you're still hungry, go find a human.” When you don’t seem to move, still shocked at his harsh way of talking that rarely happen (in fact it never happens with you), the vampire turns his head back while flaring his menacing dark embers at you in a way that makes you tremble.

With a hurt expression you quickly cover your chest, trying to fix your dress the best you can before apologising like a hurt puppy and simply scamper at the speed of the light out of the room. Once alone, a now heavy silence settled in, Harry’s fists bowl-clawing his palms but it was the least he cared about. He didn’t mean to scare you, in fact he's been trying so hard not to use any of his powers on you.

The man is centuries older than you and shouldn't care about trivial feelings you may have, but both of you had such a good relationship since now and a part of him doesn’t want it to change... though Harry has always seen you as a beautiful woman. It’s not like he can’t admit that much at last, the man was kind of bad at expressing himself out loud most of the time. What he was most unsure about is if you really wanted him or if it was your vampire senses that tells you to submit to him like that.

With a heavy sigh he buttons his white shirt half way up, arranging his long and floating sleeves while deciding he should at least check on you. After all Harry won’t blame you for leaving if you want to create space between you two. Because now that he thinks about it, never did he ever speak to you like he did five minutes ago, and repeatedly calls himself a douche for that. 

The thought quickly – and thankfully – dissipates the moment he steps into the hall and hears the running water from the shower inside your bedroom. A relived expression formed on his face, glad that you didn’t leave. Abandonment was something he was used to over the centuries and had lived through many times. It’s honestly a miracle it had been about three years at this point and you maintained a good playful relationship with each other – well, until a few moments ago.

Soundlessly, Harry edges down the hall and notices the door of your bedroom open. As he approaches towards it, he finds himself inside the room before advancing to the closed bathroom door. Now in front of it he closes his eyes and place his hand on the wooden doorframe. His senses are far more astute than your own so every subtle breath you take, movements through the water or flex of your hands as they rubbed soap against your pale body... he could picture it pretty vividly. Just imagining the curves of your body is turning him on, specially thanks to the welcomed sneak peak at your chest from earlier. His fingers silently curl around the door knob, a light voice in his head reminding him once again he should stop before reaching the point of no return, that he should leave you in peace to wash up and later and offer you a nice meal as an apology for being a complete jackass earlier.

However, he can't. His senses twinge with the soothing aroma of lavender tickling his nostrils, knowing that's the soap he got you some weeks ago. With the slowest of movement that you won’t hear nor sense if you don't focus on it, the brunette opens the door wide enough to allow him a peak through the crack.

The first thing his eyes drag over is your long dress crumpled on the floor along with a soft cotton pair of light blue panties. Without waiting a second longer he tilts up and gets a completely unhindered view of your backside. His eyes follow the dip of your spine to the soft plush curve of your ass and long legs. Just observing this much of you has him gulping down hungrily but the moment you turn, using both hands to accentuate your breasts and stomach, there is no path to return to. All Harry can do is pant an uneven breath as you sway the water over your womanly shapes, washing away the soapy sheen of bubbles and suds.

The content and relaxed hum you air echoes inside the small space of the glass shower, bringing the man goosebumps of delight like a moan without sexual inclination. The more he watches your body and the subtle move of your fingers, the more Harry can't stop his own from unzipping his pantsuit to free his cock. His strong fingers curl around his girth, slowly pumping himself up and down as he watches you bend over just a bit to let water cascade down your back. An instant burn of want invades his entire body, the desire to squeeze those fine cheeks or even offer you a naughty little spank not leaving his mind.

Harry watches your hands do exactly what he desires when they pet down your hips and accentuate the shape of your bottom, like the water feels particularly nice cascading against it. Honestly, the smirk can’t leave his face. You're incredibly and undeniably sexy in a most natural way, so why holding back? His palm squeezes the tip of his manhood with excited fervor, still watching you smile shyly at the barely noticeable bite marks on your chest. You like to an extreme when the brunette vampire bites you, there’s no denying this fact as you moaned it to him many times. And Harry has a feeling you would have let him go further if he didn’t get confused about his fantasies.

The claws of his other hand dig into the frame of the door, scratching it all up as he pumps himself with the unbearable desire he has inside his guts for you to touch him. It doesn't even have to be his cock, he'd be fine with you admiring his body like you have before or stroking through his hair with that soft content smile on your delicate pink lips.

Thoughts inside his head become more erotic when he looks up at the sound of your soft voice humming a little tune. Both of his now dark scarlet eyes end up focusing on your mouth and gritting his teeth in a haze of wanting to feel those plump appendages against his girth. The movement of your tongue and warmth of your throat he can picture so vividly bring him closer and closer to the edge with each squeeze along his base and tip.

He even finds the way you rinse your hair to be erotic because you look so whimsical. A thought of wanting to devour you in every single way possible is what officially sends him over the edge, causing him to grind his teeth and grunt your name as he comes all over his hand.

His mind is so cloudy and hazy he doesn't even care that you’ve finally noticed him. Your eyes widen in total surprise, but your complexion darkens at the lewd sight of his arousal dripping from his fingers. Your head turns away before you can implode from embarrassment, hot water still running along your naked skin. You can’t help the deepest thoughts running wild and wondering if Harry was watching you shower to eventually pleasure himself to your body while doing so.

“Don't act shy now, my dear. I'm about to join you.”

At first you blink in confusion, glancing back in his direction to watch as he shuts the bathroom door to be inside the room with you. This signature showing-dimples grin enlightens his face in a way that reveals his pearly white fangs, before letting his already oversize black pantsuits fall to the floor. Harry is pretty quick to unbutton his shirt again, the soft and almost see-through fabric sliding off his shoulder to cascade on the floor soon followed by his trousers and underpants, leaving him absolutely naked for your eyes only.

Harry is the most attractive man you've ever laid your eyes on. A tall and sculptured vampiric body that probably hasn't changed for hundreds of years. With a few steps forward the brunette is on the other side of the shower glass door and wraps his fingers around the handle, ready to erase any distance separating you both. He pauses his movement for a few seconds, letting both of you take in each other’s new found appearance and what might be about to happen.

“If I join you, (Y/N)” begins Harry almost in a whisper, his eyes never leaving yours, “... I won’t ever be able to leave ya alone.”

Your eyes rise in surprise, his expression reflective of how serious he was being. For a second or two you turn away, your hands covering your face which is giving him the impression you might be having second thoughts. Though the croak of your voice and the tender expression you offer when you slowly spin back proves how you've been able to constantly surprise him these past years.

“Is that a promise?"

Without a second thought Harry is right by your side and looming over you in a possessive dominating way. Both of his hands pet along the warm and wet edge of your stomach, before gripping your hips and tugging you completely into his body. Without pretence his expression represents just how much he enjoys your whole and can’t wait but brush some of your hair sticked on your face, assuring you he can't wait another second to kiss you.

The distance between you both closes with the warmest capture of your lips that quickly becomes some passionate tongue action. It honestly feels that divine you couldn't stop yourself from moaning into the kiss. The warmth of the water doubles nicely the little fire forming inside your guts, in a way that affirms you’ve never felt such a discombobulating kiss before.

Right away Harry greedily begins stroking, groping and petting every single supple curve your body has to offer. Even your own hands note the nice shape of his back and every defined dreamy muscle. His lips curve up as he tugs playfully at your bottom lip, the gentle way you appreciate his shape really has him feeling some type of way.

“Give yourself to me, darlin’, this time I won’t be holdin’ back.” 

The air of his wanting rasp meets the underside of your chin, of which Harry is currently kissing his way down. With a press of both his hands on your lower back he has you arching and moaning as he licks between your breasts. When the vampire starts to nip at your plush skin, it’s even more overwhelming because not only is he pursing his lips but his tongue is gliding all over you. The flat of his wet muscle makes sure to whirl around the ridge of your nipple, assuring it’s perfectly erect before nibbling on it with his fangs.

“Oh Harry, that feels so good...” 

Hearing your honest pleasure encourages him to absolutely cover your breasts in love bites both a literal and physical way, each mark more blissful than the next. Your mind becomes so consumed you don’t even know Harry is backing you up until you meet with the wet and slightly cold tiles.

Just looking up to admire the shower water perfectly cascading over his rippling muscles – his weirdly yet attractive inked skin on full display and usual necklaces in place – is the most blessed image you could wish for. This Adonis of a man looks so perfect that you lean up to offer him your own slow and sensual desire filled kiss. Little do you know he enjoys your initiative, specially since you’re kitty licking around his tongue.

Slowly Harry begins to take over such as his more dominate nature, but you oh so don’t mind. In fact you’re getting lost in the way his strong hands fondle and squish your chest. The thumb of his left hand even circled around the perky tip, while his middle and index on his other give you some slow pinches like he’s determined to have you mewling into his mouth.

“I must ‘ave been out of my mind to wait three fuckin’ years to ‘ave you...” Harry growls while baring his fangs, pressing into the top area of your shoulder. The bite he gives isn’t even painful since the puncture is slow and the suckle he drinks your blood feels so pleasurable.

“H-Harry, I’ve never felt any pain w-when you bite me” you start, stuttering from all his attention on you. “I-I thought I was weird, b-but I can't help but want so much more...”

Harry’s lips curve up against your skin as you let a louder and more frequent moan, not only because the vampire leaves deep red hickeys on your neck and collarbones, but because his hand slides down to rest between your legs.

The moment you sense it outlining your womanhood, you arch your back while clutching your hands tightly around his shoulders. Without waiting his index and middle finger caress your lower lips for just a second or two, before encouraging your legs to spread further apart so Harry can thrust them effortlessly into your core.

“A-ah– feels so good!”

Enraptured by your praise, Harry increases his rhythm and feels the thump of your slow heartbeat. His own is probably pulsing in the same way, it's been so long since the man felt this exhilarated. With a caress at your hip for you to steady, the wobble your legs frays at his kisses all over your breasts and even a slippery curl with his tongue down to your belly button.

By the time you try to follow what’s happening, the brunette is already on his knees between your legs, kissing nonstop at your inner thighs. Out of the corner of his eye you can tell Harry is actually watching himself glide his fingers in and out of your slippery folds. It should be embarrassing, but you find that more thrilling than anything else. He’s so passionate as a lover, the attention he gives being excruciatingly euphoric whatever he does.

“Earlier” his raspy voice mumbles against your thigh before he proceeds, “I was so tempted to push y'down an’ bite your thigh...”

As he licks hungrily at your skin, you recall how he caressed up your upper leg earlier, the touch offered when you woke him up was oddly intimate. It made you bashful since it was so sudden, but if he had done as he wanted you wouldn't have stopped him.

“Now I’ve a second chance... so don't mind if I do, darlin’.”

Your chest heaves with the warmth bubbling all over your skin as you watch the bare of his pointy sharp fangs and the immediate pierce into your inner thigh. A loud moan echoes around the shower, the vibrations prickling Harry’s ears and assuring he won’t part from your delectable flesh until he gives you his most vivid love bite.

Your head shakes at how all consuming the pleasure you’re gladly receiving feels. And as he sucks the sweet blood from your thigh, he doesn’t hesitate to add a third finger into your fold, now working a pace that lets you know in accurate detail that you're indeed incredibly wet. It’s not just the shower anymore, both of you know this for a fact. By now you have no problem admitting you’re turned on like a thousand lightbulbs.

“Your smell’s drivin’ me insane...!” came his lidded snarl, some little blood dripping down his chin but quickly washed away by the shower. Harry is darting for your womanhood like a famished animal, the instant curl of his fingers along your slit having you whimpering and yanking at his wet hair a bit too hard.

“F-fuck– I’m sorry Harry” you whimper out your sincere apologise along with a moan, the back of your head bumping on the tile wall as if the king of vampires like the one kneeling between your legs could get hurt from such a small type of friction. “It feels like I-I can't breath– feels so good!” 

"If you're that out of it, y'can be rougher...”

His warm breath hazes over the sensitive bead of your clit, making you convulse in pleasurable disarray. With his hands taking a fist full of your ass, Harry pushes you deeper against his tongue to then curl it up and down. The sensation of him lapping against your slick inner walls has you seeing stars, knowing a man has never eaten you out so hungrily before.

With the constant pant of your moans filling the primal space inside his head, there is only one and simple desire he has: to make you cum on his tongue and no matter what, he will not pull away until you do. It’s more rewarding than you'll ever know to have your writhing body in his grasp, not just your trembling legs when he had the chance to have you innocently straddle him, but the arousal coating his lips and the subtle desire filled push of your hands that want him even deeper inside you were exciting in a maddening way.

“A-ah please Harry, I c-can't–!” 

You are barely able to tell him how close you’re feeling right now, as drool ebbs heavily down your lips. Harry is already aware though because of the curl of your fingers, each tugging at his hair in your peak of utmost disorienting pleasure.

With a gentle pat over your soft wet body, he squishes both of your breasts and thrusts his red muscle in a most detail oriented type of way. Your praises grow in frequency as well, telling him how utterly euphoric you feels and how hot the knot in your stomach makes your skin burn, bringing you closer to your end. Everything kinda rushes to the tipping point with a pinch to your buds, causing the instant convulse of your folds and drench of your fluids flow down his chin, assuring the fangs in his mouth are vividly pulsating.

It takes everything not to sink in to your most sensitive body part. Harry manages to calm himself down with the caress of your hands falling limp, feeling one curve around his ear to hold him gently where he is. With the thought of how much he needs to claim you, the brunette gulps down your nectar and even laps the slippery sheen coating your slit.

As he raises back up to stand, all it takes is a small hazy blink for you to miss completely the way Harry yanks up both of your legs and positioned you right against his cock. “’m gonna take you hard an' fast– can't wait another second to make y'mine.”

Your lips part but all you’re able to say is a pant of his name, while coiling tightly around his neck and nodding your head.

“Have all of me, take me Harry–”

The vampire most certainly doesn’t have to be told twice, so without hesitation he thrusts deeply into your slippery folds. His speed is just as instantaneous as the pleasure you start to drown in. You never knew your voice could go so loud and high pitched until a man with much vigour and strength named Harry came along, thrusting his hips in a way that fills you to the brim with every movement he makes.

“S-Shit you're so fuckin' wet– so tight ‘round me, only for me–”

His fangs are on domineering display, getting off on your pleasurable honesty just as much as the throb of your tight folds. You don’t get to see his expression though as you leaned your head back again but this time caused by a every aggressive slam of your ass on his thighs. That gives him the perfect opportunity to enjoy your neck, so the vampire doesn’t mind.

Each electrifying kiss left on your skin feels exceptional, every sway of his hips lets you know he’s a well endowed man and quite honestly just being in his arms has you feeling this way. This man didn't have to save you or take you in and just could have gotten rid of your at any time. But the instant he's allowed you to stay and gave you a comforting space to get used to your knew desires and vampiric body.

There is a part of you that wishes you still has a conventional heartbeat just so you could feel how erratic it could be thundering against your ribcage. However, even without a human heartbeat you still knew you were excited beyond all belief. Just being able to run your hands along his shoulders, maybe even brush up against the back of his head has you feel like his long time lover.

“Fuck, I can't get enough of ya” Harry suddenly growls in madness, dropping one of your legs back against the floor while he pulled the other higher up and hold your thigh, basically watching himself rammed his thick cock into your body. There’re not a single word forming on the tip of your tongue other than whimpers and mewls of ecstasy.

His speed and precision to hit your most sensitive spots are probably only possible due to his improved senses and longevity. No doubt in your mind Harry probably had many past lovers before you but you don’t really care. He always tells you to live in the moment and not muddle through just because of your past.

“You're now a vampire, (Y/N). Act like one for your own sake.”

These are the words he told you over the past shared years together, which became your mantra to feel validated in your new life. Speaking of your new desires, your fangs are constantly throbbing and pulsating for the past minute, reason why your eyes have been glued to his neck and shoulder ever since. The need to bite him is so overwhelming that you simply don’t care to ask before diving forward to sink deeply into the space right bellow his ear.

“H-hah, y'little vixen– that feels so damn good, have your fill” the brunette encourages you with no malice but utter pleasure.

In fact he’s enjoying the twinge of your fangs so much his fervour keeps increasing. His hips edge even closer while his clawed hand takes a hold of your waist and starts slapping at your inner thighs in a way that have your arousal dripping profusely onto the shower floor.

You can’t stop yourself from moaning against his skin or salivating heavily as you absorb down his delectable blood. You swear his nectar tastes even more delicious then it ever has before, like the most finest aged wine. It's a thought you can barely focus on as you suddenly toss your head back, feeling yourself reach a most blissful end.

The moment Harry senses your insides clench repeatedly, he shoves his tongue down your throat and becomes enraptured in the way you meet his every slapping movements. Heavy saliva from both of you mixes together, dripping profusely down your chin as soon as you feels the deeply penetrating thrust of his cock slam into your womb. His arousal fills you to the brim in a way that makes you drift through euphoria.

After some time the brunette parts from your kissed swollen lips, a thin sheen of saliva still connects you together before quickly breaking when he licks his fine pale lips. The vampire smirks at you in complete satisfaction while ever slowly edging his girth away from your wall, not without admiring how thickly coated in your juices his manhood is. Maybe Harry even salaciously admires the dribble of your combined arousal from your slit, but it’s clear you are feeling utterly spent and can only keep yourself up by pressing a bit at his chest and shoulders, leaning your back against the tiles behind you.

With a soft expression that suits him so heavenly, Harry tenderly strokes his hands up your body while admiring once again the plush shape of your stomach, breasts and the slender trail up your neck to cup your soft cheeks. The smile you give him proves he’s offering all the affection he is able of with the sensual touch of your lips with his. This kiss is the slowest and most romantic you ever felt from him yet, while the brunette lifts you in his arms properly again before pulling away from the kiss.

“I'll help you dry off, dear. ‘think we've soaked in the shower long enough.”

“Thank you Harry” you thank him with a slight smile, your cheeks nuzzled into his wet chest before placing a kiss there that has him avoiding your gaze and wondering where a romance like this has been all his long life. 

You sit still once he settles you on the sink counter, wiggling cutely as he dries you off with purposeful caresses of your more intimate body parts. When he also dries himself both of you get dressed – you into the long nightdress you took before your shower and him back in his oversized pantsuits only. Afterwards, you take his hand as Harry walks you both out of your bathroom. It’s clear you wish for him to lay with you in your nearby bed but he hesitates at the edge of it, looking towards your still wide open door. It seems like Harry wants to escape but that’s not it at all. He is looking towards his study at the other side of the hallway where an item he had hidden was secretly and well kept.

“I'll be right back– hey, don't make that face, darlin’... I'll lay with ya when I come back.”

You lean into the palm of his warm hand that softly strokes your cheek, adding a hopeful nod. Your soft eyes trail behind his tall figure as Harry steps out into the hall, leaving your door cracked open behind him. With a little doubt forming in your heart you lay on the silk mattress of your bed and turn, rolling back and forth like a restless child waiting for time to fly as fast as possible.

It took him longer than he wanted as he struggled with whether this was the right thing to do or completely the opposite, tons of questions invading his mind: did you want him as much as he wanted you, and so should he trust you with a secret only a handful of the Royal vampires know? His hundreds of years differs so greatly from your barely twenty-five-ish ones. The brunette keeps rushing his thoughts because first, he wants you to be happy and second, he doesn’t want to be alone anymore.

With the item in his hands, Harry clenches his fingers tightly around it and makes his way back to your side. As he enters the silent room, smelling some faint aroma of lavender from your previous shared (hot) shower, you’re actually snoring softly while sprawled out in a way that takes up nearly the entire bed, which makes the brunette slightly chuckles at how silly yet adorable you are. He shakes his head with the soft expression you love so much on him, effortlessly scooting you further to one side before climbing in next to you.

For a couple of minutes Harry strokes your hair and caresses your skin, before taking your right hand and placing on your fourth finger a gold ring with a glimmering ruby jewel in its middle. Your eyes flicker open at the feeling, followed by a small yawn while watching the careful placement of your new jewellery with a bashful smile.

“... Are you asking me to marry you, Harry?”

His emerald eyes open wide in shock, skin darkening more than you thought a creature like him was capable of. Instantly the brunette uses your palm to cover his face and slowly shakes his head, the white pearl of his necklace softly jiggling around his neck at this. The breath from his parted lips tickles your skin and honestly makes you fall at peace.

“N-no– well n-not yet at least, uh–” Harry stutters, still hiding his face with your hand. He clears his throat before continuing “though this is my gift to you, love.” 

You can’t see the way he actually bites his bottom lip, but your eyes notice both his hands covered in rings that he always wears. And one catches your attention, the one with a similar ruby jewel in the middle yet of a different shape.

“This will allow ya to walk 'round in the sunlight, this way it will no longer cause you any harm, my dear.”

“Really? But you said that it would always hurt...?”

“Without an amulet blessed an’ enchanted by a powerful witch, the sunlight will cause us vampires harm. That’s why you must always wear it.”

Harry lowers your combined hands so you’re finally able to see the serious expression on his face. “You must never tell anyone abou' this. Not a single soul, vampire or human alike, my dear. No one.”

“I would never cause you trouble, Harry. And I promise I'll take this secret to my grave” you respond back, arms sliding around his hips like a silent wish to lay your head against his bare torso, a motion which your lover gladly welcomes by sliding his fingers through your hair. 

With a thankful smile you get comfortable, closing your eyes in hopes to snuggle with him while you sleep.

“People will not question it if y’tell them you were sired by me” proceeds the brunette vampire abasing your hair, fingers still entangled in your soft locks to massage your scalp. “It's a misconception tha' pure royal vampires are born immune to the hurtful rays of sunlight... Most of our kind think a person turned by us will also be immune.”

“I wish... I had been turned by you” you let out in a whisper while keeping your face nuzzle against Harry’s chest. “I want to be with you for as long as I'm able to.”

The vampire can’t resist but leave feather-like kisses on your forehead and hairline, your confession definitely making him feel... alive. His hot breath hitting your skin gently soothe you and so are his kisses, the sudden brush of his nose against your face bringing a delightful giggle out of you which Harry would never get tired of.

“Maybe I'll be the one to ask you to marry me, who knows...” you add, your index finger sliding over his pearl necklace with a define grin on your face. 

No words could describe how you make Harry feel. Never has he been more grateful for the quick way you fall asleep just so he could hug you tightly against him. Maybe later, he will be able to tell you that, as surprising as that may sound, the man has never been married in his long life either. There has never been someone this special to him to go for it. It's indeed hard to say if Harry wants to make that commitment with you at this point either the thing he’s sure of is his wish - no, his desire to be with you. Forever. 

“Good night, my love... Maybe tomorrow I’ll take ya to the castle y’ask me about all the time.”

* * * 

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[twrites1]

“Wait”

Time Frame: Sunday Afternoon, May 10, 2020

Location: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma // Tulsa, Oklahoma

Summary: Based on Maroon 5’s Wait, sequel to Love In The Dark.

Sam squinted as he rubbed his eyes slightly, trying to see if what he was seeing was correct. This couldn’t be the way they were teaching these kids in second grade now. Equations? She was only in the second grade. What in the hell?

“It’s fine if you don’t know, I’ll ask my Daddy when he calls on FaceTime.”

“Just..wait a minute.” He hushed the girl as he use the palm of his hand to gently push her away, her giggles running out loudly just as her mother entered the room.

“What’s with all the laughing?”

“I’m helping little squirt with her homework.” He cut his eyes when he heard her scoff, watching as she gave him a knowing look before getting off the couch.

“Yeah right, Uncle Sam.” Virginia giggled as she grabbed her book and headed upstairs to her room.

Sam rolled his eyes at her before he grabbed the mail that he sat down earlier and scanned it, mumbling incoherently as he tossed out all of the junk mail for his cousin before he abruptly stopped, everything falling to the floor except the one thing he was holding.

Quinn turned around when he fell silent, eyebrow raising as she watched as he stared at something, “Why are you going through my mail anyways?” She walked over to the side of him when he didn’t answer, eyes going to the invitation. She sighed before grabbing ahold of it.

“She’s getting married tomorrow?” Even though he knew the answer because it was obvious, just hoping this was some kind of joke. He turned to look at the woman, watching as she sat down on the couch.

“Yes.” She raised her eyes to look at him just in time to see the hurt, incredulous look on his face, “She broke things off with you, not me.”

“But you’re my blood. You’re suppose to be on my side.”

“It’s your fault.” Quinn quipped back as she stared at him, pointing out his misplaced anger, “If you would’ve stood up for yourself and told her the truth, you would be the one at the alter. You’re also so damn stupid sometimes. The help? Really?”

“Don’t keep reminding me and I didn’t call her that, my mother phrase it that way, I just said that she helped around the house.”

“That’s even worse. Again, stand up to them pieces of shit of parents you got. I’m not sorry but I have never, ever had love for them from how they treat my parents.” She started as she shook her head. Quinn’s mother was Sam’s mother sister and they were nothing alike and she was criticized for it. It still amazed her sometimes how they were kin.

Sam stayed quiet for a moment before tossing the invite back on the table, emotions and feelings that he thought he had buried down were bubbling back up to the surface. Sighing a bit, he turned his eyes back over to his cousin, “Were you going to tell me?”

“No.” Quinn said honestly as she looked at him and shrugged, “You didn’t even fight for her.”

Sam nodded solemnly as he stood up from the couch, moving past her and going upstairs to say goodbye to his little cousin. Once he came back down, he put shoes on.

“Where are you going, Sam?”

“Home.” He replied shortly as he stood back to his full height, going over to grab his keys from the kitchen counter. Once he made sure he had all his things, he headed for the door but not without the last words, still not facing his cousin as he opened the door, “And I did fight...more than you would ever know.”

The chatter around the room flowed freely as the bride was helped getting prepared to walk down the aisle. Her mother placing the floral headband on her head that pushed the flowing, curly hair back. This was it, she was finally getting married and she couldn’t for one believe it. She was introduce to her fiancé, Carter, by her mother at the end of 2017 at a Christmas party. She had no plans of getting back into the dating for awhile but her mother insisted. One date, led to ten before the two started dating in August of 2018 and he proposed a year later, leaving Mercedes pressured to say yes because both of their families were there. Carter wasn’t a bad catch either. He was a lawyer, had his own house, no criminal record, handsome, and to Mercedes’ mother...he was just perfect with no flaws.

They haven’t been intimate yet, Mercedes wanting save herself until marriage....which was a lie because her and Sam had sex all the time and they were just boyfriend and girlfriend. Sam. She shrugged off the thought of him, what she had been unsuccessfully doing since that faithful night. No matter how she tried to forget it, she couldn’t but she pushed it down enough to get to the point where she was right now. She came out of her thoughts when she heard someone say it was time. She looked at herself in the mirror and took a deep breath. She could stop this if she wanted to but what was the point? Carter was a good enough man, conceded sometimes, but he’s what her mother wanted. It should be what she wanted....right? After coming from the back, she saw her father and gave him a small smile as she looped her arm with his.

Quinn crossed her legs as she wrapped her arm around her daughter, watching as Mercedes walked down the aisle. She had to admit, after the conversation with her cousin yesterday, she was feeling extremely guilty for even showing up. She knew how much he loved this woman yet he made some stupid decisions. She wished they could’ve worked it out, but Mercedes didn’t deserve the situation that she was in. She was happy for her, even if the man she was marrying wasn’t her cousin but as the vows were being read, she couldn’t help but feel like Mercedes was mechanically going through the motions.

Dirty looks from your mother

Never seen you in a dress that color, no

It's a special occasion

Not invited, but I'm glad I made it, oh

“If there’s anyone who doesn’t wish to see this couple together, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

Mercedes smiled a smile as she looked up at the man in front of her, one that didn’t reach her father nor Quinn’s eyes but apparently everyone’s else. It slowly begin to falter when she felt a tug at her heartstrings, all of sudden becoming hot and weak in the knees when she heard clear as day that one voice that she hasn’t heard from in years.

“I object.”

Quinn eyes went wide as her mouth dropped, turning her head around at the entrance door, “No, no, no.” She stood up from where she was sitting, making her way to him. There stood her idiot cousin at the entrance of the church, “Sam, I swear on everything holy...”

Let me apologize

I'll make up, make up, make up, make up for all those times (all those times)

Your love, I don't wanna lose

I'm beggin', beggin', beggin', beggin', I'm beggin' you

“Not now, I have something to do.” He told his cousin as he looked at her seriously before gently moving her aside and continuing to walk down the aisle, ignoring the mixed looks of the people.

“HELL NO!” Mercedes’ mother exclaimed, asking for the Lord to forgive her for cursing up in his house. She stood up from her seat and made her way to the man, “You need to leave, right now.”

Sam looked at the scolding brown eyes that was about to kill him right then and there, “No.”

Carter, Mercedes’ soon to be husband....or was he, looked at her then to the dirty blonde then back to her, “You know him?”

Mercedes couldn’t speak. It was like she lost all ability in doing so. The only thing she could muster up the strength was to turn around away from the crowd, head down as she closed her eyes.

Virginia looked wide eyed between the adults, having no clue what was going on but by the looks of it, Ms. Cedes’ mama did not like her cousin. What is objecting and why was he doing it?

Wait, can you turn around, can you turn around?

Just wait, can we work this out, can we work this out?

Just wait, could you come here please? 'Cause I wanna be with you

“Will you turn around.....please?” He asked her, eyes watching on curiously at the two and the outcry of gasps when they heard his next words, “I need you to know how sorry I am and how much I love you.”

Mercedes closed her eyes tightly, the tears cascading down her cheeks as she stared completely at the ground. This was not suppose to happen. She was not suppose to ever see him again yet here he was.

“You’re not going to ruin this day or any parts of her life ever again. Leave, now. I won’t hesitate to call the police.”

Sam ignored her mother’s words and overpowered her with his own strength as he walked forward, forcing her to let loose of his shirt. He moved even closer to where she was, only to be blocked by this asshole who was standing at the alter with her, “Mercedes.”

“Look man, I don’t know who you but you need to leave. I’m sure whatever past you and Mercedes had, it’s over with. She’s about to be my wife. Let it go.” Carter glared at him, balling up his fist. How dare this man come and ruin his day.

Sam ignored him. He wasn’t relevant. He looked at Mercedes, whose back was still turned, her mother’s nagging long absent to his ears as he continued on his plea, “Mercedes, please turn around and please talk to me.”

“For the love of God, please talk to Sam.” Mercedes’ Dad whispered, or so he thought, when the gasp escaped the people around him once again. There. He admitted it. He did not like this kid his daughter was about to marry. Not that he wasn’t a respectful guy, he just wasn’t fond of him. While he was beyond upset about the situation and was pissed for awhile, he liked Sam. His daughter has never been happier than when she was with him. Sam was far from like his parents and if he went through so much to keep Mercedes hidden, it had to be for a good reason. He had to admit, he should’ve reached out a long time ago to the man, but his wife was adamant that he just needed to disappear from their lives for good. It sounded good, but he wasn’t for it. No matter how much his daughter pretended she was okay, she wasn’t and he knew for a fact that she wasn’t happy.

Mercedes eyes finally met his, tears spilled as she looked at him then at Carter, words that left everyone in shock, “I can’t do this, I’m sorry.” She dropped the bouquet and lifted up her dress, running out and past Sam as well, her mother hot on her trails.

“Go get your cousin.” Quinn told her daughter, hoping that the presence of a child would stop any fight that would break out.

Carter was livid and pissed at his day being ruined. He stepped to Sam, only to stop when he saw the little blonde headed girl come up and grab his hand, tugging him away.

Sam let himself be guided out the church and led outside, down the steps and onto the sidewalk, his cousin words bringing him out of his thoughts.

“I honestly can’t say I’m surprised but damn Sam, really?”

Sam didn’t have time to listen to his cousin ridicule him. He was thinking with his heart and not his mind, so the thought of rationality was out the window when he saw the invite in her mail yesterday, “I have to find her.”

“Sam...Sam, come back here.” Quinn could barely get out before the man was running down the street. Sighing, she looked at her daughter, who was looking back at her curiously.

“Cousin Sam really loves Ms. Cedes, huh?”

Quinn just smiled at her seven year old, grabbing ahold of her hand as she nodded her head as she lead them to her car, “Yes, he really does.”

Can we talk for a moment?

Got these feelings that I'm tired of holdin' on

Wasn't tryna get wasted

I needed more than three or four to say this, oh

Mercedes was missing and no one was able to find her. Well, that’s not true. Sam did. When Sam first came to Tulsa to meet her family, she showed him one of her favorite getaways from her overbearing mother. It was a bar, about fifteen minutes away from the church. As he opened the door, he found her almost immediately, the bartender pouring her a glass as she sat on the stool. Contrary to what people may think, Sam did fight, eight straight months to be exact but gave up once she made it clear that they were done.

Mercedes felt his presence as soon as the door opened. She knew he would eventually find her and majority of her was hoping he did, while a tiny part of her didn’t. She was on her second glass of whiskey when he took a seat beside her, hearing the bartender greet him and ask if he wanted something. After shaking his head, he left the two alone.

They sat in silence for a good ten minutes, Mercedes focused on the cup in front of her, Sam observing her. Neither one not wanting to speak first, but both deep down not knowing exactly how to start. What exactly do you say to a person you haven’t spoke to in almost four straight years? Sam was the first to try.

“I’m not sorry for ruining this day...not until I know for sure that you’re no longer in love with me.” When she didn’t respond, he continued, figuring that he was going to be doing all the talking, “I told my parents the truth about us and in return they told me I was dead to them. I don’t care though, because as long as you’re okay, I am. They were going to ruin your reputation, tarnish your name and make it impossible for anything you did. I couldn’t let that happen to you. I know it’s not an excuse and I should have told you instead doing what I did, but I wasn’t thinking rationally. To prevent them from doing anything, I recorded the threats, turn them in to my lawyer and got a restraining order. They won’t be getting to you or me, regardless if we’re together or not.” Sam felt himself getting emotional as he looked down at his hands, tears welling up in his eyes, “I just wasn’t thinking.”

You say I'm just another bad guy

You say I've done a lot of things I can't undo

Before you tell me for the last time, yeah

I'm beggin', beggin', beggin', beggin', beggin' you

“I may have implied it but I never called you the help. Not that it makes it any better and now that I’m here, I really see how selfish I am and once again, I’m ruining your life.” Sam sniffled as he wiped the tears away, trying his best not cry anymore, “I love you so much, Mercedes. So much. If nothing else comes from this, I just want you to know that I truly do love you and I’m so, so sorry for hurting you the way I did.”

Mercedes watched as he leaned forward but stopped himself, shaking his head as he probably figured he had no right. She watched as he got off the couch and started to walk away, “Sam.”

Sam immediately turned around when he heard the faint whisper of his name rolling off her tongue for the first time since he has been here, her eyes meeting his with a solemn expression, “Yes?”

Mercedes nibbled at the corner of her mouth before she got up from where she was sitting. She cleared her throat as she looked at him, “I believe you, I do and I should’ve given you a chance to explain but I was hurt. Four years ago, all I saw was red and I was hurt. I wanted to forget you and although it look like did...” Mercedes gestured to the dress she was still in, shaking her head, “I didn’t. I tried to force this relationship into being something more, but it was something my mom wanted. In a way, I have to thank you for showing up because I was really about to pull the dumbest thing I have ever done and that was marrying someone who I wasn’t in love with and knew I would never, ever truly be in love with. And for what? All because I never stopped loving you despite everything. I want nothing more than to jump in your arms and kiss you until the sun comes up but I can’t. At least....I won’t right now. I need to go properly dump my ex-fiancé and I just need a night by myself to take in everything.”

Sam nodded his head understandably, watching as she did the same while a tiny smile appeared on her lips before she grabbed her phone and keys. She started to make her way pass him but ultimately stopped when she got back in front of him, space now limited. Sam was about to move to the side to let her through but she had surprised him when she leaned up and placed her lips on his. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer, which led to her wrapping her arms around his neck.

Mercedes instantly melted comfortably in his arms, tilting her head upward to deepen the kiss. This was the only man she loved. The only man she wanted to marry. Although she was disappointed from the past, she was willing to forgive him in the present, so they could have a future. She wanted that with him.

Feeling himself having trouble breathing, he pulled back breathlessly, leaning his forehead against hers as he tried to regain composure. His eyes met hers, a smile taking over his lips as he leaned forward and lazily pressed a kiss to her lips, “I’m never letting you go ever again. That’s a promise I intend to keep.”

“I’m counting on it.” She whispered as she kissed him once more before stepping back, clearing her throat once she realized that they had made a scene in the bar that was full and the people had been watching on curiously. Her eyes met his again with a smile, “Meet back here tomorrow at three.”

“Yes ma’am.” Sam watched as she leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek, hearing her whisper those three little words back made him the happiest man alive.

“I love you too.”

And with that, she left out the bar, smiling a true real smile that has been in hiding for four years. Truth was, so many lessons were learned. A lesson of being honest, a lesson of listening, a lesson of communication and a lesson of never giving up on someone you truly love no matter how long it takes.

Wait, can you turn around, can you turn around?

Just wait, can we work this out, can we work this out?

Just wait, could you come here please? 'Cause I wanna be with you

#samcedes #samcedes fanfiction #samcedes one shot

[letterstoocean]

my ocean....

The Sirens

I walked into the alley, skipped over the same greasy mud puddle and saw that the gray door was shut.  As I walked up to knock and have Frenchie let me in, it flew open and Guile stormed down the steps towards me and I fell on my ass once again.

“I saw you walk into the alley and I waiting for ya.  Julien no here today and I am the man in charge.”

Clarence stood over me with that butcher knife that was a foundation for my nightmares.  “I warn ya.  Ya come round here beggin’ I cut ya ear off.”  He bent down and placed the butcher knife on the inside of my shoulder.  “So whaddya say we get us some lil white boy ears to feed the turtles?”

Clarence started to laugh but I didn’t stay to see what came next and was running out of the alley and down the street as fast as my “lil” white feet would take me.  I don’t know how long I ran.  I don’t know how far.  I ran into arms stopping me and thinking they were Clarence’s’ I bit down on the nearest arm I could find.

I heard a loud “ow, dammit white spot!” Some one picked me up, spun me around and sat me on top of the mailbox next to us.  

I was looking at Rizzo who was checking his arm to see if I had cut the skin.  “What the hell?”  He looked up at me and for the briefest of moments I saw what other people feared.  I saw what people saw deep in his eyes.  I saw what made him a beautiful legend despite the scar and I saw the anger that made people respect him.  I saw pure anger. And then it was gone and he was laughing at me.

“I would guess that no one has fed you today.  But the better bet is that you are running from some one.  Is it the same kids that stole your money last week?”

“No.  It’s Clarence. I went to Juliens to see if I could get something to eat and Clarence ran me off with that knife.  I thought you were him.  Sorry for biting you.”

He laughed and set me down on the sidewalk.  “Don’t apologize.  Thinking that quickly on your feet may keep you alive.   Where’s your mamma?”  He started to walk down the sidewalk and I followed.

“I don’t know, haven’t seen her in several days.  I was lonely and thought I would go see Trina and maybe see if I could get some shrimp or something.”

“Stay away from Juliens for awhile.  Grown up shit that you don’t want to deal with is happening.  I’ll take you to some friends you can stay with. I think I know who your mamma is hanging with. I will let her know you are safe.”

So we walked to Bourbon Street where Rizzo led me to the penthouse of one of the hotels.  

“If you will ever find a place that feels like home this will be it.  One rule munchkin; what you see, say or do stays in the rooms behind this door.”

He knocked twice and waited.  Smiling at me and ruffling my hair as he did.  

The door opened up and the most beautiful girl I ever laid eyes upon stood in the doorway smiling at Rizzo.

“Hey, Rizzo.  The sirens are working but you can come in and wait if you want.”

She stepped aside for me to walk inside, but I was frozen.  She was so beautiful I just couldn't move.  I heard Rizzo laugh behind me and felt his hand on my back giving me a gentle nudge.

“Actually Lisa, this is the one I told the sirens about.  He will be staying here until I come get him.  Would you be so kind as to show him a pleasant time until I return.  He’s rather innocent so be gentle.”

Lisa was wearing a pair of torn up jeans, they looked so ragged that one more wash would probably dissolve them,  and what could have been either a black bra or bikini top.  She had straight black hair .  The jeans hung low  on her hips and I just couldn't stop staring.   She had a cross between a scowl and a smile as she told me to take my shoes off at the door. She then spun around and walked to a couch.  She plopped down, picked a book up off the coffee table and looked for where she left off before she answered the door.  

Rizzo laughed and ruffled my hair again.  “Good luck.  I will be back with some news on your mom and some new pens and paper.  I think you’ll need it living here.”

He shut the door and I stood there not knowing what to do

Lisa looked up at me, patted the space on the couch beside her and said, “I once read that lord Byron drank wine out of an old monks skull with his lovers.”

“Who is  Lord Byron?” I asked sitting next to her.

“He is a famous poet. All of the good poets know who he is.  Rizzo said you were a writer and poet some poet.”  Lisa stood up, went to the giant bookshelf on one wall and returned with a book of leather bound poetry and plopped it on my lap.

“I also read that after he did this he would get naked and write poetry all over his lovers and then they would have mad passionate sex.”  She sat beside me on the couch, put her legs over mine and smiled.  “I know where we can get a monks skull.  And I  know a couple of girls I could call if you want to write poetry on us.”

I couldn't swallow.  I tried, but there was no moisture in my mouth.  There was no moisture in my body!  All I could do was stare with my eyes wide and my mouth open.

She reached over and gently closed my mouth, “careful, you'll catch flies.”

If, as a child I had to give a definition of seduction it would be “that lost time when some one tells you what they want and finding yourself in that moment and never remembering just exactly how you got there, but wanting to stay there and right when you make that wish it all begins to fade away.”

*

I slept on the couch buried beneath a giant quilt with a wolf howling at the moon on it. It smelled like spring air and was so soft that even in my sleep I am quite certain that I kept rubbing my cheek against it.  

I opened my eyes to see a woman standing with her back to me pulling a pair of jeans up long tan legs and over wide beautiful hips.  As she hopped to get them up and over that last final inch of hip, she turned to see me staring at her on the couch.  She was topless and long black hair fell over one shoulder and over one breast.  She smiled at me and buttoned her jeans.      

“Good morning, white-spot.  You want some coffee.”

This beautiful woman was not wearing any underwear beneath those faded jeans!    I thought to myself as I nodded yes.  I would have taken a shit sandwich if she had offered it.

“Stay there.  I’ll bring you a cup.”  She turned and headed for the kitchen.  I couldn’t have gotten up if she wanted me too all I could do was sit up and rub the sleep from my eyes; careful to keep the blanket over me.  What seemed to be a never-ending hard on was hidden beneath the blanket and I didn’t want her to see it.

She handed me a blue coffee mug filled with coffee. “My name is Teri.”

I smiled and took the cup.  “Are you one of the sirens?”  I asked in a very shaky voice still recovering from seeing her put jeans on with no underwear.  .

“Yes I am.” She said sitting next to me. She put her legs under her thighs and sipped from her cup.  The eight track player skipped to the next song and I heard Billy Squier begin to sing about some one being “My Kind of lover.”

“If you don’t mind, may I ask just what exactly a siren is?”

Teri smiles at me, reaches behind her and turns the volume up on the stereo just enough that I would have to speak up for her to hear me and then puts a finger to her lips, “Shh.”

I sat with Teri in silence and all that time I had the image in my mind of her pulling up those faded jeans over those tan hips.  I would try to look at her;  to get a better memory but every time I tried she would look at me; her lips just touching the coffee mug, and I would have to look away.

She got up and changed the eight track to Reo Speedwagon as another woman came down from the loft above.  She was wearing a white t-shirt that barely came down to her hips and every step she took I caught a glimpse that she was not wearing any underwear either.  She was as dark as Teri but much Taller.  Her blond hair was tied back and her face reminded me of that movie about Cleopatra where the actresses eyes, cheeks and smile said that she had conquered empires and there were many more to come.  Quite the opposite of Teri, she didn’t smile.  Everything about her was serious.

“This must be white-spot.”  She said to Teri as she poured herself a cup and sat on the other side of me.  

I held the empty coffee mug tight.  She kicked one leg onto my lap and let the other dangle to the floor and picked up a book of poetry sitting on the coffee table.  

“Good morning, white-spot.  My name is Canda.”  She opened the book and read as she drank.

Almost on cue another woman walked down the steps and into the kitchen. She was the tallest woman I had ever seen.  Bright, wavy, red hair bounced like springs as she walked.  She was wearing skin tight black panties and that was it.  Long muscular legs rippled all the way up to a tight muscular butt.  Big beautiful breasts bounced.  I was staring at her breasts. My god I was staring at her breast as she poured a cup of coffee and a glass of orange. Juice.  Bright blue eyes looked at me.  She tilted her head to the side and examined me.

“Well, he is definitely what I expected.  She grabbed a sweatshirt from off the counter, threw it over muscular arms and shoulders and walked out onto the balcony with her drink.

“That’s Kristen.” Teri said.

I finally got dressed as the sirens did the same.  I walked around in a daze with the vision of all three of them half naked swimming around in my head.  I was like a puppy that every time one of them walked by me I would look up in anticipation of them acknowledging my existence.  

Teri walked downstairs from the shower and threw me a towel.  

“Your turn, dirty boy. Shampoo and everything is the shower.  Get to it.  I’m going out and buying you some new clothes and then we are going to burn the ones you are wearing.  Got it?”

I nodded silently and headed into the shower.  I couldn’t remember the last time I actually stood in a shower, under hot running water with actual water pressure.  I put my head down, closed my eyes and thought about the sirens and how in the hell could write  the perfect words to describe them.

I must have fallen asleep standing up because I felt some one scratching my back and heard some one giggling.  I opened my eyes to see a Lisa smiling as she turned the water off that had turned cold.  I stood and gawked realizing I was naked and she was almost in the shower with me.  

“Mom thought you might have fallen asleep and told me to come wake you up. “

“Ooooookay.” Was all I could say.

Lisa glanced down and nodded.  “Nice.” She spun around, her long black hair swinging back and forth as she left the bathroom.

I didn’t realize that I had acquired yet another boner and was so embarrassed I thought I was going to puke.

Christ, where did Rizzo drop me off ?   I thought as I looked around for my clothes realizing they were gone.  I wrapped a towel around my waist and ventured downstairs to be greeted by brand new clothes.  My god, they felt as wonderful as the sirens looked.

*

  For the next week Lisa became my babysitter, sort of.  Rizzo stopped to let me know that he had found my mom and that she was in Las Vegas with one of the restaurant owners and would be back in a week or two.  I could stay here until she returned and that I would be safe and well fed.

“You might even learn something.” He said smiling.

Come to find out that all three women were high end prostitutes for wealthy businessmen that flew in from across the country.  All of them were well educated and knew they were gorgeous and had no guilt about what they did for a living.  

Every one knew who they were and they were treated like royalty everywhere they went.  Lisa was Candas daughter and was following in her footsteps.  She was two years older than me but it could have been a lifetime as mature as she seemed to me.

I started watching the sirens very closely. I had never seen confidence like that before.  The more I watched, the more I began to learn.  I would watch them dress.  I would them put on their makeup.  To me it was an art  form to see women in these moments.  To see the subtle things that make them so amazing.  So special.

They knew I watched them.  If I stared too long, one of them would always snap their fingers and say, “You need to blink now and then, cher.”

All of my strength, all of the music inside of me, everything that I know that is the real me comes from women…every woman I have been with, the ones I wanted to be with, the way I seduced this one, the way this one came to me and then left me…those that I can taste when a certain scent passes my way.  Those that a certain song reminds me of…when my hands touch a certain object and I remember her or sometimes them,  I hear all of them inside of my head.

I needed them.  I need them now.  But I don’t want them to need me.  I wouldn’t want to be me near me because of me.  I want them near me because they love themselves.  Want themselves.  I am merely music to them because I can never be the person they want me to be.  And only the words, the paintings, can give them what they want.  What they should have. As for who I am.  I don’t know; and I don’t want them to know that person that doesn’t know himself.

And all of that began with the Sirens and Lisa.  In those four beautiful, solid walls there was a carefree sense in the air where I didn’t feel like myself.  I felt like I was inside of them and they were revealing to me things they would never reveal to anyone else.  And I have wanted to get back to that feeling ever since.

Lisa and I sat around the studio and played games, read books, she taught me how to cook.  And at night when the sirens gone she taught me games that every boy and girl play.  Spin the bottle,  truth or dare.  We watched movies on the laser disc.  We watched lesbian porn.  

She rebuilt me every morning.  I believe I have spent a lifetime trying to be the man I felt I thought I would become in  in-between  those four walls.  

I woke up before the girls and decided to fix them some fried potatoes and eggs.  The trick with fried potatoes is cut them in different sizes and then put them in the cast iron skillet with some olive oil and grease and then leave them alone.  As I sat in the kitchen on a stool reading T.S. Eliot drinking a cup of coffee I heard the door open and my mom yell, “Christophe.”  I spun around and saw mom standing next to Rizzo who had a serious look on his face.

“What the fuck do you think you are doing here!”  she stormed over pulled me off the stool and looked at Rizzo.  “how could you take him out of my home. How fucking dare you!  He’s my son.  Mine!!!”

Mom pulled me out into the sunlight and down the street.

“I come home r4eady to move and can’t find you….I have to go everywhere asking every one.  Making me look I’m a bad mother….goddammit I hope he waited for us…what the fuck were you thinking.”

I let her pull me along. Knowing not to answer.  Just turn everything off inside of me. Let her get it out.  Eventually she will calm down, look at me realized how angry she was and then start to cry and hug and apologize for everything that has happened.  It was our music.  It was what we danced to.  Even if no one wanted to hear the song.  It was what was sung.  

Mom dropped me off at the abandon apartment and went to get our ride.  I sat on the floor, thinking I should cry or do something but I just sat there….waiting.

Rizzo walked in the door carrying a box of the items I had acquired while at the sirens.  He sat on the floor beside me, “for what its worth I’m sorry.”  I smiled at him and then looked back down at the floor.

“This is no way for a kid to live.  All you have to do is say the word and I will take you out of here and she will never find you.  There are ways to take care of this that you never have to know about.”

I looked at him.  I wondered how many times I had this speech.  

“I’m all she has.  I don’t think I could leave her.  I don’t know how to explain it. She’s my mom.”

He looked at me for a lifetime then smiled, “You’re a good kid.”  He stood up. “Sirens wrote you a letter.  It’s in the box.  Hide it from your mom.  Keep writing white spot.  I’ll see you again.”

Rizzo walked out the door.

I never saw Rizzo again.