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paranoid-fighter · 7 years

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Chapter 3: Jesse changes his name | Gabe makes a call

My apologies for this taking so long...

Author’s Notes: 1) Again, I am sorry this took so long to write. Life’s been weird. 2) Lori and Sandy are nurses that used to be my nurses. The things they say in the story are either verbatim quotes or akin to what they said. 3) Heacanon abounds 4) @one-doesnt-simply-walk-in-bagend, I hope you enjoy this! Your comments on my previous McCree and Reyes stories made me want to write something just for you! 5) I know this isn’t how name-changes actually happen - I took literary liberties. 6) I hope you enjoy this Update: Here is the table of contents for the Gabriel Reyes stories: http://paranoid-fighter.tumblr.com/overwatchReyes Wordcount: 5150-ish Copyright: Overwatch and its characters belong to Blizzard. OCs belong to me.

Jesse stared down at the packet of papers in front of him as he twirled a pen between his fingers. Even though he had only a few lines to fill out, he had been unable to complete the paperwork - and it wasn't because he didn't want to. He wanted to fill out these forms. He wanted to do nothing more than to fill out these forms.

He just didn't know what to write.

Beside him was a notebook full of names that he had been scribbling down as he contemplated each one. He traced his finger down the list and sighed as he mentally ticked off reasons that each name simply wouldn't work.

Jesse John McCree ran the risk of him earning the nickname JJ. He did not want that nickname.

Jesse Clint McCree was a name that he simply didn't have the necessary level of penmanship for.

Jesse Abrams McCree just sounded silly... even though Abrams were really cool tanks. Also, his initials would spell JAM; he didn't like jam.

He closed the notebook and sighed as he ran a hand down his scruffy face. It was funny, he couldn't help but admit; he had spent years wanting to change his name, but now that he had the ability to do so, he had no idea what he wanted his name to actually be.

"Y'd've thought I'd've figured this out by now," he said to the paperwork as he tapped the tip of the pen against the paper, "but naw. Still don't have a damn clue what I wanna write down. Got a lot of things I don't wanna use, but nothing that really--oh shit, I'm gonna be late." He dropped the pen and pushed himself away from the desk. Jesse ran out of his room as fast as his sore chest would allow, mentally reminding himself to slow down - Nurse Lori wouldn't care if he was a few minutes late.

Gabe, however, did care.

The man's stony glare fixed on McCree as he slinked into the infirmary. He avoided looking into Reyes' eyes, not wanting to see the frustration he knew that dark gaze held. Reyes was a stickler for punctuality whereas Jesse could barely make it to anything on time - unless it was for meals. He was always early for meals. "Uh, hi boss." "McCree." He nodded and turned to Lori. "Alright, let's get this over with. I have a meeting in half an--no," Reyes glanced down at his watch, "twenty six minutes." "Sorry, Commander Reyes," Jesse mumbled as he followed Nurse Lori into one of the examination rooms; he felt Reyes' eyes burning a hole into his back.

"Do you want Gabe to wait outside?" Lori asked Jesse as she picked up a syringe and a small glass bottle. Jesse watched as she drew out his standard dosage and shook his head. "Naw, I don't care; Boss?" "It's nothing I haven't seen before." Gabe shrugged as he leaned against the wall, one leg bent as he crossed his arms. "Alrighty then; hop up on the table, kiddo, and ass-ume the position." She grinned as Reyes groaned at the bad joke.

McCree nodded and lowered his pants before he laid down on the examination table. He pushed his underwear off to the side, exposing some of the pale skin of his backside. Lori swabbed the skin with an alcohol wipe before gently pinching up part of his cheek. Jesse didn't even flinch as he felt the thin needle piercing his flesh, nor did he react past a sigh as Lori depressed the plunger. She withdrew the needle and pressed the alcohol swab onto the injection site, humming as she lightly massaged the area with her finger. The nurse removed the swab a moment later and pressed a small bandage onto his cheek. "There you go, kiddo; all jacked up and ready to go." She grinned as Jesse stood and fixed his clothing. "Reyes?" He raised an eyebrow. "You need to get this kid to do more squats with you. There's not a lot of real ass-tate for me to work with. Then again," she chuckled to herself, "not all of us are blessed with a badonkadonk as big as yours!" Gabe sighed. "If I hadn't known you for seven years now, I'd swear this was sexual harassment." "And what would you do if I stopped, hm?" She removed her gloves. "More squats." Reyes' cold facade broke as he laughed with his nurse.

"Gawd, get a room," Jesse groaned as he sat back down on the table. "Aww, Gabe, the kiddo's jealous!" She patted Jesse's knee. "Don't you worry, Jesse; I can get Sandy--" "No!" Jesse, despite himself, started laughing - the last time Sandy had given him his shot, she had gone off on a tangent about the amount of hair he had grown on his legs and backside in such a short time. Gabe smiled at the pair before his expression returned to its usual dour look. "As amusing as this is, I need to be leaving soon. Can we start, Lori?" "Of course, of course," she drew on a new pair of gloves. "Jesse, take your shirt off, please, and your compression brace." Jesse nodded and unbuttoned his shirt before working himself out of the brace. He hissed lightly in pain as his skin was pulled taut by the motions - Lori and Gabe did not miss the quiet exhalation. "That tells me everything I need to know," Reyes looked to the nurse, "he's not ready to go back on the field." "Not one bit. Another two weeks?" "I think that's fair." The commander nodded. "Aw, no!" Jesse was frowning. "I'm goin' mad sittin' around! I wanna fire my guns again!" "Jesse, you can barely lift your arms over your head. I know you just had your tubes taken out last week, but you're not ready to go play soldier." The nurse kindly chastised. "Who knows what the recoil would do to your chest?"

The young soldier sighed as he stared down at the angry red scars under his pectorals. It had only been two weeks since he had the double mastectomy performed but it felt like a lifetime ago. Despite the ache and the soreness, he couldn't remember being happier - both an emotional and physical weight had been lifted from his chest. He glanced back up to Gabe, remembering how the man had been there beside him when he woke up from surgery. Despite his drugged stupor, he remembered Gabe smiling down at him. "Welcome back," his rough voice was kind, "you did great, Jesse. Go back to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up." The man squeezed his hand as Jesse's eyes closed--

Jesse shook himself back to the present as Lori filled out a new stack of papers before handing them to the Commander. "Sorry, kiddo; you're on medical leave for another two weeks." "Dammit." Jesse huffed. "I wouldn't mind the time off, but I can't do anything!" "It's medical leave," Reyes frowned, "not vacation. You're not supposed to do anything except get better." "But--" "No buts," Reyes stuck the clipboard under his arm. "I have to go now and listen to some blowhard tell me how to run my army." He shook Lori's hand before leaving the room. Lori glanced down at Jesse. "Between you and me," she leaned in conspiratorially, "I think the barbell got lodged up his ass one day. There's no stick big enough in the world to make a man act like that." She winked as Jesse laughed.

A quick knock on the door silenced their laughter. "Come in," Lori called as she resumed tidying up the examination room. Sandy popped her head around the corner. "Lori, chop chop - got someone waiting for you in room two." "Alright," she glanced back to Jesse, "sorry kiddo, but you gotta go now. I'll see you next week." "'kay," Jesse hopped off of the table and smiled as Lori enveloped him in a soft hug. "See you next week, Lori."

He walked past the soldiers that sat in the infirmary and hid his smile as he noticed the bandages covering most of their bodies. He was not sure what had happened to them, but he did not want to ask. Reyes hadn't told him about any new battles in the past two weeks and the mess hall had been free of rumors. With a shake of his head, he left the infirmary and returned to his room.

"Didja miss me?" He asked the stack of papers as he sat down at his desk. "'cause I sure as hell didn't miss you." Jesse picked up his pen again and sighed as he looked to the packet. Even though Gabe had assured him that there was no deadline on when he needed to fill out the forms, Jesse still wanted to get them done.

After all, what else could he do while on medical leave?

He tapped the top of the pen against his teeth as he stared down at the forms. There was so little that he had to fill in and, truthfully, he had already filled in everything except the date, his signature and what he wanted his name to be. "Sorry, Ma, but I never really made a good Jesse Bunny. I'm gonna pick a name that fits me. It'll be a great name, just you wait and see. It'll be a name you'll be proud of." His voice faltered as his shoulders drooped. "...I hope you're proud of me, Ma. I know this isn't what you wanted for me, but it's what I am. I'm happy like this." He lowered the pen to the desk. "I miss you, Ma."

Jesse put the pen down and stood up from his desk. He drew on his worn serape and left the room with his eyes on the floor. He couldn't look at the forms now.

His name was the only last real trace of his mother. And if he changed his name, he thought to himself, he'd get rid of her.

Forever.

Jesse found himself sitting on the edge of the base, underneath the tall trees that helped to obscure the access roads. He had drawn his knees to his chest and covered himself with his serape, hugging his legs under the dust-stained fabric. His cheek came to rest upon his knee as he stared at the trees. Jesse liked this spot - it was quiet and isolated, far enough from the base that no one dared wander this far while they were on duty. He had taken to coming out here almost every single day after his surgery.

It was the only place he could be truly alone with his thoughts.

He felt the compression brace squeezing his chest and closed his eyes. Soon, he knew, he'd be able to take it off. Lori and Sandy had said he only had to wear it for a month. After that month, he'd be able to take it off and start going back to the gym. He needed to start exercising again - if nothing else, so he could start doing more squats. After all, Lori needed more real ass-tate to work with, he thought with a laugh.

He felt the soreness in his cheek as he sat on the ground and gave a small smile. He had finally done it. After years of wanting it, he had been able to start taking hormones. His body had taken kindly to it, Lori assured him; his changes were happening quickly and they were helping him see the person that he wanted to be within the mirror. He could only imagine how he'd smile after he had recovered from top surgery.

"Calm down with that, Jesse," he remembered Gabe saying as he tried to climb out of the hospital bed, "just because you had surgery doesn't mean it's a magic fix. You'll feel better, but it's not a be-all, end-all." "But--" "No buts." Jesse remembered returning the hospital bed as Gabe sat beside him. The Commander was watching him closely, watching his face for any indications of pain or discomfort. Jesse glanced off to the side as he gripped the blankets; he wasn't sure what was more uncomfortable - the tubes within his chest or Gabe's scalpel-sharp stare. "I'm fine, Boss." "You're on pain killers." "Well, yeah," Jesse beamed, "but I'm fine now." Gabe rolled his eyes as he patted Jesse's head. "Go back to sleep, mijo." His voice was kind. "I'll be back in a few hours." He stood up and returned the chair to its spot against the wall. "Boss?" He raised an eyebrow. "...Thanks." Gabe smiled as he walked away...

Jesse shook his head as he drew himself back to the present. It was Friday. He and Gabe would get dinner after Gabe had his fill of paperwork for the day. They would probably get burgers again, but neither man was upset about this; they liked burgers and burgers generally came with milkshakes and fries. He liked seeing Gabe recoil in disgust as he dipped his fries into his milkshake... even though Gabe himself admitted it was quite tasty.

He sighed softly as looked down to the grass. Their dinners had become the highlight of his week, but he wouldn't admit it. Even when he had been out on the field, if they had only a second to spare, they'd sit together and scarf down an MRE. It wasn't much, but it was a little ritual that had he had come to treasure. After all, it was the only real constant in his life.

Well, no. There was another constant.

Every Friday morning, he would go and get a hormone shot.

Jesse ran a hand over his back pocket and sighed before closing his eyes. He could still remember how that first shot had felt, how much he had looked forward to it...

...and how anti-climactic it was.

After what felt like a year's worth of tests and paperwork, he had finally been approved to start hormone treatment. He remembered how excited he had been to run up to Gabe and show him the large glass vial, remembered how Gabe had smiled at him. "Go on, then, go and take it to the nurses." "Yessir!" Jesse scampered down the halls and straight into the infirmary, beaming as he spoke to the receptionist. She told him to take a seat and that someone would be with him soon.

With his enthusiasm slightly deflated, he took a seat in the far corner of the waiting room.

There were other soldiers there, all in varying states of unwell. Some, he saw, were missing limbs and were holding damaged prostheses in place with duct tape and sheer determination. The others appeared to have various illnesses - judging by the color of their skin, Jesse could only assume that some of the soldiers had eaten spoiled rations or had consumed a bit too much unclean water while out on a mission. With a shake of his head, he turned his eyes back to the little brown bottle he held in his hands.

He sat still and quietly for over half an hour before Nurse Lori came to get him. She smiled and took the vial from him - with a fair amount of coaxing - as she took him into the examination room. "So, kiddo, you've gone over all the paperwork with Doctor Berwyn?" "Yes ma'am. I signed all the waivers and did everything she wanted." "Good. Do you have any questions or hesitation before I give you your first injection?" "How fast do the changes start coming?" He asked earnestly.

Lori fell silent as she rummaged around for a needle and syringe. "They'll come fast enough but still be too slow. You probably won't feel much of anything for the next few weeks, but the main changes will take place in three to six months." She prepared the syringe and began to withdraw the thick fluid from the bottle. "You might even have a day where you look in the mirror and don't recognize yourself anymore." Jesse nodded, only half hearing her words - his eyes were fixed on the syringe. "Alright." The nurse looked to the young soldier and smiled. "Okay, hop up on the table and pull your pants down. Keep your underwear on, but push it off to the side. I'm going to give you your shot right here." She pointed to her own backside. "After I do this, we'll put you into a recovery room for about twenty minutes, just to see if you have any reactions." The young soldier did as he was told; his pants fell to his ankles and he pushed his underwear to the side. He felt the cool, damp alcohol swab on his cheek and then felt Lori pinching up his skin. "On three," she said, calmly. "One, two--" Jesse hissed in pain as he felt the needle pierce his flesh. "Three," Lori depressed the plunger.

Whatever Jesse had thought to expect was not at all what he got.

Instead of feeling a surge of masculinity, like he had hoped for, he just felt mild discomfort from the needle. He felt Lori pull the needle out and then place a plaster over his backside. "Okay, so, when you leave the room, go to your right and go sit in the recovery room. We'll check in with you soon enough."

Jesse nodded, hiding his glum expression. Would it have killed her to say congratulations on starting testosterone? He fixed his pants and left the room, his eyes downcast.

He couldn't even take the bottle of testosterone with him.

The time in the recovery room passed quickly - Sandy had stuck her head into the room and talked to him briefly before leaving him again. Lori came by a few minutes later, telling him that he was cleared to leave and to come back next Friday for the next shot.

Jesse remembered leaving the infirmary with his hands in his pockets, his eyes on his toes. No one had congratulated him. There was no hallelujah chorus that came with the first injection. Hell, there wasn't anything! "Just wham, bam, thank you ma'am." He grumbled, refusing to let the discomfort within his cheek stop him from maintaining his brisk pace. He made his way to the firing range and collected his guns, his eyes narrowing as he intended to take his frustrations out on the hapless targets that lay down the range.

He didn't leave the range until it was time for dinner.

Commander Reyes saw the morose Jesse slumping down the halls towards his office, an eyebrow raised. This wasn't what he was expecting to see at all, especially not after his enthusiasm this morning. Reyes met him in the hallway. "Commander," Jesse saluted with as much energy as he could muster. "McCree." He nodded and began to walk towards the large garage; he heard Jesse following about four steps behind him.

McCree had said nothing for the entirety of the drive. The two men left the jeep and sat down on the grass at their usual spot, the two staring out over the city below. "Talk to me, Jesse." "'bout what?" "How did it go?" Jesse looked away. "It... went." Reyes' eyebrow cocked again. The young man sighed. "It was just... I'unno. A routine for them, I guess. Nothing really happened. They stuck a needle in my butt and injected the drugs and that was it. There wasn't anything else." "You were expecting more." It was a half question. "Well, yeah. I mean, at the very least they could've said congrats!" Reyes took a bite of his burger as he mulled over his words.

"Congratulations, Jesse. You just made one of the biggest steps of your life." Jesse looked away. "Look at me." He pulled his phone out of his pocket. When the young man turned to look at him, Reyes took his picture. "What was that for?" Jesse asked. "I'll tell you in a few months." He put his phone away before drawing out a small, wrapped item. "Also, I got this for you. Something to remember today by." Jesse carefully took the tissue-paper and unfolded it, blinking in confusion as he stared down at the belt buckle. "BAMF?" "Yep." "This some sorta joke?" His tone was cold. "No," Gabe's face was somber, "it's a reminder for you. You're gonna have some awful days ahead of you, but keep your chin up." "I... I don't get it." The older man sighed. "Mijo, listen to me. You're a brave fucker for doing this. Not many people have the guts it takes to do this. You do. And not only that: you're doing this while working for Blackwatch. That's even ballsier." He put a hand under McCree's chin, forcing the young man to hold his gaze. "Best of all, you're excelling at all of this. It'd be one thing to be half-assing this, but you're not. You're out there and you're working harder than everyone else. People see that and people respect that. The fact you're now starting T just means you're only going to get stronger and faster. You're a badass motherfucker, Jesse McCree." "Really?" "Yes." He nodded. "So wear the damn buckle whenever you need a reminder." He released Jesse's chin and lightly bumped his jaw with his knuckles. "So, you won't call me out for dress code violation when I wear it?" Gabe stared down at his young soldier. "Do you even know what the policy is?" "Nope." The Commander rolled his eyes. "I'm not surprised." He handed Jesse a burger. "Eat up, kid. Your appetite is about to increase like you wouldn't believe."

Jesse shook his head as he pulled himself back to the present. He had spent too long lost within his mind, he thought as he saw the sky beginning to darken. He pushed himself to his feet and made his way back to the base, walking as quickly as his chest would allow.

After all, it was Friday night.

Mrs. Ramanaja did not look at Jesse as he placed an envelope into her outbound mailbox. She merely pressed the button on her desk, alerting Commander Reyes that a visitor was here. Jesse tipped the brim of his hat to her before walking past her. He knocked twice before sticking his head around the door.

Reyes' head raised only slightly as he heard the familiar knock. He gestured towards Jesse as he returned his gaze back to the sheaf of papers in front of him. "Let me finish these up, then we'll go for dinner." Reyes' voice was distant. "What do you want? "Pizza and beer?" He asked with a shrug. Reyes pondered it for a moment before nodding. "Sure. Use my phone to order - it has our usual already saved." "Aw, boss, really? Can’t we place a different order?" Jesse groaned. "Pineapple's gross!" Reyes did not look to him. "Then order two pizzas and let me have my damn pineapple." The younger man smiled and accepted the unlocked phone from his boss. With a few taps, the order was placed. "'Kay. It'll be ready in about half an hour, for pick up. Are we going now?" Reyes stared down at his paperwork and heaved a silent sigh as he scrawled his name over the last few lines. "Yes, we are." He threw his pen down with a bit more force than was necessary as he stood up and stretched. Jesse didn't react to the symphony of cracking joints as he followed Gabe to the garage.

He did, however, smile when he realized that Mrs. Ramanaja had already mailed his envelope...

Later that night, Jesse dropped his hat onto his desk before flopping onto his bed - well, as much as he could flop without jarring his chest. He closed the notebook that was filled with names and smiled; he had made his choice and he couldn't wait to see it become official. "Funny, ain't it?" He said to the ceiling. "It was obvious, but I jus' wasn't lookin' in the right place." Jesse kicked off his boots before undressing and crawling under the blankets. "Now I jus' gotta wait for the papers to come back." He yawned and closed his eyes, enjoying the sensations of a full stomach and the pleasant buzz of a good vanilla porter.

It took three weeks before he received the thick envelope.

Mrs. Ramanaja had paged him, telling him to come to Reyes' office. She did not say why, which prompted Jesse to run as quickly as he could. He heaved a sigh of relief as she handed him the packet. In her usual loquacious nature, she merely nodded to him before returning to her work. Jesse didn't take it personally as he hurried back to his own room - he knew she didn't like idle chitchat.

With the door locked behind him, Jesse opened the envelope and bit back a grin as he saw page after page of filled out, stamped and approved forms. At the top of each one was his name. His real name.

The name he made for himself.

Carefully holding the pages to his chest, he smiled as relief washed over him. It was all finally done. The changes were made. The only thing left to do now was to tell Gabe.

And he would do that tonight.

"Okay, kid, I'll bite; what's got you smiling so much?" Gabe sipped his beer as he watched Jesse fumbling in his pocket. The empty pizza boxes were stacked behind them, as were a few empty bottles of beer. "All the name change forms finally came back." "Oh? I didn't even realize you mailed them." "Yeah," Jesse shifted a little as he looked down at the folded paper in his hands. "I, uh, well, I didn't wanna ask but now I'm feelin' like I should've." "What are you talking about?" His brows knitted together in confusion. "Uh... here." Jesse handed over the paper and looked away. "I hope y'don't mind." Gabe took the paper and placed his beer on the grass beside him, carefully unfolding the letter. His eyes scanned over the first few lines before he paused. He read the line a little more closely. And reread it. And reread it yet again.

"Jesse," "I hope y'dont' mind," Jesse repeated in a small voice, "but... I just, well, it felt right. Couldn't think of anything that even felt anywhere near as right." Gabe stared at the paper for another moment before looking to the young soldier beside him, "this is real?" "Yessir. Name's Jesse Gabriel McCree, all approved and official now." Jesse looked up to his commander. "Y'alright, boss?" Gabe sat, motionless, as he stared at McCree. "Boss?" Jesse felt himself beginning to sweat. "Should I have not done that?" Silence. Jesse began to nervously laugh as he slid slightly away from Gabe. "Uh, I'm sorry, boss. I didn't think, uh, well--aw shoot, I'll just go." "Mijo," Jesse froze and looked to Gabe. "Y-yeah?" "It's fine." His voice was thick with emotion. "It is?" Gabe nodded as his mouth set itself into a thin, firm line. Jesse stared at his commander, watching the emotions playing across the older man's face. "Y'sure?" Gabe nodded once again and pulled Jesse into a strong embrace, his eyes closing as he held him tightly to his chest. His smile grew as he felt Jesse's arms wrapping around him.

By the time they had pulled apart, Gabe had managed to regain control over his emotions. More or less, at least. He still felt a swell of pride within his chest as he stared down at the young soldier beside him and fought to keep his face mostly expressionless. "It's getting late. We should head back to base." "Yeah, you're right." Jesse pushed himself to his feet and stretched. "Thanks for dinner, boss." "Anytime," Gabe folded the paper and handed it back to Jesse, only to blink when Jesse held up his hand. "That's for you." He smiled at his commander, grinning more as he saw Gabe's expression firming up again - he knew that the tight-lipped grimace was how the man suppressed his emotions. Gabe merely nodded and tucked the folded letter into his own pocket. He didn't speak another word as they gathered up the remains of their dinner and drove back to base.

Reyes and McCree went their separate ways once they were back on base. McCree went straight to his room whereas Reyes took a long, slow walk around the compound; he was still in disbelief that McCree had taken his name to be his own middle name. It was honestly more than a little humbling to think about. He put his hand over the letter in his pocket and smiled as he returned to his own room. He had never expected to befriend the soldier like he had, but now he couldn't picture going through the daily grind without the sharpshooter beside him. Even if he couldn't admit it, he liked Jesse's commentary, opinions and sarcasm.

He had taken a gamble on the kid, he knew, but it had paid him back tenfold. Not only did he have a loyal soldier, he had a frightfully skilled marksman and a second-in-command - even if Jesse couldn't officially be called that. He couldn't be more proud of the kid. Besides, he thought with a grin, Jesse Gabriel McCree did have a nice ring to it.

Reyes unlocked the door to his small suite and walked to his dresser, listening to the door as it automatically locked behind him. He rummaged around in his top drawer and pulled out a small, black box. He deftly spun the dial on the lock and opened the lid, smiling as years of mementos shone in the dim light of his bedroom. He placed the letter into the box before closing and relocking it, humming quietly as he buried the box away. The man pulled his phone out of his pocket and sat down on his bed, staring at the screen before exhaling and dialing a number.

Jack's familiar voice met his ears and he smiled, his eyes closing as he laid back on his bed. "Gabe?" Jack's voice was thick with sleep, "you okay? It's four in the morning here." "Everything's fine. I just realized it had been way too long since we last spoke. Should I call back later?" "Nah," Jack yawned; Gabe could hear him sitting up in bed, "it's good to hear from you. Miss you." "Miss you, too." He nestled down among the blankets as they began to talk, catching up on the other's life during their time apart...

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tumblunni · 6 years

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Today’s random Thought about gamemaking, I guess? Does anyone else get inexplicably super pissed off when a song seems to give the wrong meaning to a scene?

Like seriously i do not know ANYTHING about making music, I don’t even know how to read music notation at a basic primary school level. So it seems bewhildering to me when super talented viddygame musicians seem to take a ‘ehh it doesnt matter’ attitude to their soundtrack. I can’t understand why any game would not even TRY to have music match to the story stuff that’s happening, seriously why are there so many mediocre products like that. EVEN STUPID BUNNI CAN SEE IT!!! WE EXPECT BETTER FROM YOU!!! Good retort for any other ‘don’t listen to the players, they couldn’t make their own game’ type argument- you don’t have to be a master chef to know a cake is burnt.

sorry, sorry, I’m getting offtopic here, I’m just a little fired up!

Well basically what I mean is that music can be REALLY IMPORTANT to enhance an emotional moment in a game, and it can backfire horribly if one of those moments has a bad soundtrack. Not that it’s the be all and end all of sorywriting though, I mean there are plenty of games out there with forgettable soundtracks that still made me cry. But.. I mean.. usually they were just forgettable, and not outright terrible. Not many games where I had to play the whole thing muted managed to stir up as much emotion, yknow...? RAMBLING AGAIN Summary: music is not > writing, but can add +1 to writing if they work in harmony.

But the point that bothered me today is remembering how a failed musical moment can confuse players on the meaning of a scene, if the writing didn’t outright spell it out. Or if the writing is very clear on the intended reaction and the music still seems to say something else, the disconnect can ruin your immersion even if you still understood what was trying to be said. or, hypothetically, if a situation exists with two versions of the same story and one of them has a fitting, meaningful song while the other has a rather generic one, that moment could seem to hold more ‘importance’ in the narrative depending on which version you bought. JUST SAYIN’

which actually happened once in pokemon ruby and sapphire and it still rustles my jimmies!!!

okay so we have two versions of the same game where the villain guy has a different personality and tries to harness the power of a legendary monster of either fire or water. They both still follow the same general plotline, and both have a moment where villain guy’s plan fails and he isn’t able control [insert monster name here], thus causing Apocolypse Time for some damn reason this was chosen as one of the only songs that differs between games, despite its emotional resonance being CRITICALLY important to this goddamn scene

youtube

I guess that’s bad? I suppose?

but then the other one gets the fuckin creepiest music i have ever heard in a pokemon game

youtube

I THINK THAT EVER SO SLIGHTLY CHANGES THE TONE OF THE SCENE, GUYS

seriously, the water one sounds more like a vaguely ominous dungeon exploration theme and like.. a music.. in general??? not a YOU DONE FUCKED UP! YOU DONE FUCKED UP! alarm blaring right in maximillian’s goddamn face. it’s deliberately dissonant non-music, and the other one doesn’t even try to capture the same sort of aesthetic!

and lil kid me had only played Sapphire Version, so I never even heard the spookier version until I played the Ruby remake a decade later I know it sounds weird to not grasp the gravity of a literal apocolypse if the music isn’t scary enough, but I mean.. its a jrpg cliche. The world is always under threat and we already knew it was under threat and that’s why we wanted to beat this guy. That spooky music moment was necessary to sell the audience on something that’s often lost its shock value in this genre. And it was also an emotional moment because its where the villain sees the consequences of his actions and realizes what he was doing was wrong. It shouldnt be just a ‘wow, new sea adventure dungeon, better get moving kiddo’ sort of thing, but something that knocks you off your tracks for a second and makes you pause to take in what this guy is saying and feel sympathy for his horrific realization. Its a moment that’s so disarming for him that you just have to leave him there nigh-catatonic as you rush off to fix his mistake, and he only properly teams up with you to help save the day a dungeon or two later. That just seemed like a plot contrivance in Sapphire because there wasn’t that same desperate urgency that you have to rush off NOW, and can’t wait for this guy. Apocolypses happen all the time in rpg games, you need to specify to the audience when you want it to feel like an URGENT apocolypse! FF7 had a similar moment where you learn a bunch of revelations about the main villain and he succeeds in summoning the magic meteor that was more of an abstract threat this entire time. Now you can see it hovering in the distant sky, and the world map music has a drastic spooky change similar to this game. it worked there, it worked in pokemon ruby, pokemon sapphire why did you change it?

also, a more random minor issue I had with another song in the same game

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Is it just me or does Wally’s theme sound more like ‘classy rich guy’ than ‘unconfident younger child with a chronic illness whom you play a mentor role to’? It also sounds really cheerful and upbeat and reminds me more of the generic ‘HI I AM GIRL AND CUTE AND CRUSH ON YOU’ rival characters like May and Shauna. Its just kinda got that ‘hyperactive and clumsy but in a way that’s supposed to be seen as a love interest’ sort of vibe. So yeah to me it says ‘fancy high class characters are usually egotistical jerk rivals, but I personally want to assure you that this rich lady is actually super nice and adorable and possibly has cute comic relief aspects’. Aka Sonia Nevermind from Danganronpa. Is this just my brain making nonsensical associations or does anyone see where I’m coming from??

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Also ‘Wally Emotion’ doesnt seem to have ANYTHING in common with it and I never even knew this was a Wally-only theme AT ALL until I saw the track listing.

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THINGS THAT SOUND WAY MORE LIKE THAT: THIS seriously why is this just the generic song for the town the guy lives in, instead you don’t even really take enough time passing through it to hear the full thing...

also obligatory mention to possibly the greatest change in the whole remake being SPECIFICALLY GIVING THIS GUY ANOTHER ACTUALLY FITTING REMIX SONG hey guess what didnt give me emotions in the first version hey guess what gives me all the emotions now FUCK YEAH that’s how you sell ‘the student becomes the master’ entirely without words! this thing was so goddamn successful that it took me half an hour to even find a video of his ‘main theme’, youtube search was overwhelmingly shoved full of cover of this badass piece i cant believe that the original game just used the same old minor trainer battle theme for him...

#blunni thoughts

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