#but it's usually something about commitment that usually gets me

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not saying please/thank you?

So this is an ongoing argument with my roommate. I (22nb) am autistic, and T (55f) has ADHD.

Now to get this out of the way, i do say thank you. I was always taught to wait a moment after receiving something, take a bite or appreciate what you were given for a breath, before thanking someone so that you could add something more to it. My roommate and I both agree that i do say thank you the vast majority of the time, but the problem for her is that i do not say it fast enough.

T often gives me a "tHaNk yOu" while the item in question is still being passed. This seems ridiculous to me as i haven't even been fully given it yet.

In addition, i have the dishes as my household chore, and i do them daily, despite almost never making any dishes myself. I do this to both support T and her diet, as well as contribute to the household that i live in.

T thanks me near daily for doing the dishes. This always seems weird and unnecessary to me, as it is my responsibility. I have told her this. I dont expect to be thanked for doing my own laundry, after all. In return, T gets upset that i dont notice and thank her for taking out the garbage/recycling/compost, to which she is the main contributor to and is under her responsibilities.

As for please: i do say this much more rarely. I think it feels overly preformative and fake, and i typical choose more "would you mind closing my door for me" "if its not too much of a hassle, could you toss me my waterbottle" "id appreciate it if you could preheat the oven while you're in the kitchen"

I think that these work perfectly fine as a replacement. Please just has always felt wrong and fake. No one else in my entire life has ever commented on this before.

Thirdly; T has been upset that i don't respond to her apologies appropriately. After she is snappy at me (due to her emotional disregulation from ADHD) (last time it was because i asked if she was using the oven instead of asking if i could use the oven myself, for reference) there is a 50/50 shot that she will come and apologize.

I dont often accept apologies. Apologies are for the person saying them to get it off their chests, or to make you put it behind them. Usually, ill say something like "it was just one of those days, y'know?" Or "its alright, water under the bridge"

Because i was always taught that apologies came with a promise of change, and T can't (or won't) change how she re-directs her frustration at unrelated things to things ive done "wrong". When she told me the correct response was "i forgive you", i decided to not engage instead of telling her directly that i didnt forgive her (because i am certain she will do it again). (I usually dont engage with her when shes irritated: she never notices and just wants to say her piece so im not being rude here)

She said that i was being disrespectful, "like always", and when i suggested it may be more difficult for me due to my autism, she said that we made plenty of accommodations for me (which i think is false), and that i just needed to do this for her comfort. That please/thank yous were something she needed to feel appreciated and i should be making more accommodations for her.

To me, i feel like she is getting really caught up on semantics and is being a little controlling about it. But maybe its just a boundary? I dont know if i could commit to changing my language for her though, i feel like i will just start forgetting after awhile because it feels so fake. Shouldn't it be better for me to say things genuinely than just for her approval?

AITA for not saying please/thank you?

#aita #am i the asshole

[rixsjwb]

smokey geto, university au

at around 2 p.m., you wake up to the smell of smoke, specifically from a cigarette.

as you feel the sleepiness in your eyes seemingly never going away. You don't fully register what's going on until you eventually sat up. to find yourself sleeping on sugurus bed, while he sat right next to you while satoru played video games with shoko. sukuna and toji scrolling on their phones occasionally showing each other funny videos.

it was weird seeing them not throwing insults at each other and wanting to commit mass murder on one another, as you laid flat on your side, you used your arms too supporting you upright, you couldn't even full take in where to place your hands and you just put it anywhere you could, while doing so your hand lands on something solid and you hear a groan emit from the object.

it was suguru.

your hand had landed on his lower abdomen when trying to sit yourself up, "m'sorry." You say muffled tiredness still lingering in your voice. Your eyes start to see the hazey looking air, thinking your eyes are playing tricks on you, you waft the air in front of you while rubbing your eyes.

you feel yourself come crashing down when the energy you had left, left your body. your head coming in contact with the soft mattress, but you could see suguru in your view of looking up at the ceiling. you could feel his hand running in between the strands of your hair, almost lulling you back to sleep.

but the smoke in the air that starts to go down your lungs caused a violent cough to erupt out of you, drawing most of your friends to check up on you.

"You okay?" satoru asked, the cigarette limply slaying out of his mouth now, gone, as he held it between his index and middle finger. you mumble something that was intelligible, dragging the warm blanket with you too the living room to get more sleep, as the room was pretty much a widefire once the flames were put out, so much smoke.

you never liked when your friends did smoked. not only for their heath but yours too, obviously you don't want to force them too stop, I mean, shokos have been smoking since freshman year, do you really think they'll stop smoking on your request? probably not. Who knows?

as you snuggled up on the couch, the silent aura carried around the living room. You hear the soft click of a door opening and soft footsteps coming closer to you.

you grab the blanket and throw it over your entire face so not a limb is outside of the blanket, but when you feel a hand rest just above you, the blanket acting like a barrier, you start to tug and shove the person throwing their weight on you. you chuckle at their attempt to rip the blanket off you. but eventually, you remove it from your face to see who exactly it is.

"What are you doing here?" You ask tone muffled and quiet even with nothing covering your mouth, "m'wanted peace n' quiet." his baritone voice rumbles as he spoke, sounding a little more raspy than usual, probably from the smoke.

"hey ghetto, how come you always smoke?" you ask a genuine question, you wonder. you watch as he makes a face at the name you jokingly give him, but you both bath In the solitude of eachother.

silence.

"m'dont know, just do, I guess. don't like the smell of the smoke?" he said, you feel hesitant to nod your head, you don't wanna upset him because you don't like the choices he makes, but again it's his body so he can do whatever he'd like.

"yea, aren't you afraid of the lung diseases coming to get you?" You say it's a serious saying, But you can't help but chuckle a little. "You're too young and handsome to spend your days in a hospital." You say, hand stretching out to play with the ends of his long, straight, healthy looking hair. it had gotten longer than you'd remembered.

suguru stays quiet almost in Ponder about what your saying,"and plus not only are you killing you but your killing me cause I have to breath that shit whenever I'm around you, we'll be leukemia twins." Your chuckle sets a vibration in your chest.

you start to play with his hands in the silences, you start to think your words may have come off alittle aggressive and rude, but before you could say anything he beat you too it.

"Don't worry, yr'pretty mind, I promise I'll stop from now on." it takes you by surprise by how quickly it took for him to consider your words.

"You sur-" "Yes, I am. don't want you breathin' in these harmful chemicals."

you decide to joke around with him abit "can I try?" You point to the cigarette in between his fingers, " no silly, it's bad for you." You laugh at the irony of the situation

you watch as he smothers the ciggar into an ashtray, and you can already see the smoke clearing up. he opens the windows to seemingly air out the house before he makes his way back too you, laying his body weight on top of you.

"Get your sleep." he says Ina low tone, his hands drawing soft repetitive shapes on your skin, and he snuggles into your stomach enough to lul you back to sleep.

#jjk fanfic #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jjk x reader #suguru geto x you #geto suguru x you #suguru x y/n #geto suguru x reader #suguru getou x reader #suguru x you #suguru x reader #getou suguru x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #geto x reader #geto x y/n

[storiesofsvu]

Bryan Kneef NSFW Alphabet

Bryan Kneef x reader Warnings: so much smut, so many kinks, dirty derogatory talk, teasing, threesomes, edging, masturbation. y'all know the drill lol. I don't remember if this was requested. It's been sitting in my wips for MONTHS now and I figured I should finally finish it.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

It mainly depends on the setting, if Bryan takes someone home, or is in someone’s bed he’ll give the minimal amount of cuddles he needs. He doesn’t like to, but he knows with the amount of bdsm kinky things he’s into he needs to make sure his partner is okay afterwards, no matter what level of involved they are. He’ll usually wait til she’s asleep and then sneak out. If you’re in a committed relationship he’s going to be incredibly gentle, if its not too late he loves to take a bath with you, watching the hickeys and marks on your skin darken as he holds you under the water, enjoying the relaxation himself.

B = Body part (your favourite body part of theirs and theirs of yours)

He adores your ass. I mean, he loves all of your body, tits, hips, calves, lips, but your ass is something he can never get enough of. Grabbing it, squeezing it, fucking it, he’s all about  ass.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) Bryan loves to cum deep inside you, and adores watching the cum leak out of you, fucking it back into your cunt with his fingers, a toy or his cock (this is of course as long as your on BC or he’s snipped, he aint about that baby life). He also loves coming on your face, basically anything with cum, the messier the better.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) He will sub for the right person, and will gladly get pegged and he absolutely adores it

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) He’s *very* experienced. He knows exactly how to seduce someone and exactly how to please them, and just the best way to get himself off. Name something and he’s likely tried it. He’s afraid of basically nothing and is always down to explore kinks or walk someone down that road.

F = Favourite position (this goes without saying) Doggy. There’s no doubt. He loves to watch your ass, thrust a thumb into your ass as he fucks you, pull you flush against him, hand wrapping around your throat as he pounds into you from behind.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He’s more serious. A few little chuckles here and there before he’s done with it. Though if he’s actually with someone he’ll be more goofy in the moment, but even with someone he loves he’s sill gonna be more serious.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) 

Bryan likes to sleep around, he’s a playboy and that kind of intimacy doesn’t even become part of the conversation until he’s sure that he wants to pursue a relationship with someone or if he knows that from the start and is “courting” them instead of seducing them. Ya get me? Lol. If he sees you and knows instantly you’re more than a quick fuck he’s gonna pull out all the stops, rose petals on the bed for the first night you sleep together and shit.

J = Jack off (masturbation head canon)

Likely daily. Morning wood taken care of in the shower. In the evening’s he’ll strip down and get into bed, getting super comfortable, drink in one hand, cock in the other as he turns on porn and watches for a few hours. Most nights it’s gonna be a long run, teasing himself until he can’t hold back anymore.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

It would literally be easier to list the things he’s *not* into LOL. Bryan’s all about the BDSM community, he likes to tie you up, use a crop to spank you, all about the toys for both you and him. Pet play is something he enjoys, and you just have to know this man has a dirty kink.

L = Location (favourite places to do the do)

He knows he has to be somewhat careful due to his job/image, but he’ll likely fuck you anywhere. He’s a bit of a exhibitionist, loves fucking you up against the windows, bent over his desk, the bathroom at a bar, in the shower at home, over the kitchen island, on the couch.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

 A number of things! He particularly enjoys you in lingerie, or little hints of it peeking out from under your clothes. Skirt riding up just enough to see the top of your thigh highs, bending over just enough so he can see the red lace under your shirt. Coming home to find you half or fully naked in his bed. Getting sent racy texts or photos is what really gets him going. He’s also the one that gets horny jealous. If he sees you flirting with another man/getting hit on by another man you just know he’s going to take you home (or to the nearest private space) and is gonna remind you who you belong to and why.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

There may be a lot he’ll experiment with but I’m gonna say that scat play is past his limit.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He loves pussy but he absolutely loves getting his dick sucked, there’s just nothing comparable to it. The image of you on your knees in front of him makes him instantly hard, and he obviously likes them messy. Likes when you spit into your hand before stroking his cock, loves fucking your face, drool dripping down your chin, thrusting so deep into your throat you’re gagging around him, eyes watering, mascara running. The more ruined you are by the end of it the better.

When it comes to giving, he is good at it and knows what he’s doing, but it’s a step that he’ll skip for his quick hook ups.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Fast and rough 99% of the time. He likes it hard, he likes to fuck you senseless, deep and hard enough that you’re going to be feeling it for the rest of the week.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Absolutely fucking adores them. Quickie in the shower, quickie in the morning once he sees the lingerie you’re wearing. Sees you in a fancy dress for a gala? Gonna fuck you in the backseat of the car on the way there. Office quickie? You bet.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Absolute risk taker. He’s always game to experiment and try out something new. He’s only turned down a couple of things over the years and that’s cause they were super fucking weird. He’s more than willing to role play, for you to dress up, or recreate porn you’ve watched together. And he’s obviously not against fucking in public.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) He can last a decent amount of time. Long enough for the foreplay, for you to suck his dick and then to fuck you into next week. If he is starting to get tired, or it’s been a longer day, he’ll make you ride him a while before he dicks you down. As for rounds, he can go all night, but he’s gonna need a bit longer of a break between turns, and he loves to cock warm you during those.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) This man has a toy collection big enough to rival your own, maybe even bigger. He’s got a couple of vibes to help out when his hands get tired, or the position means he can’t really reach your clit. He’s definitely got one that sits in your panties and rubs on your clit that he has the remote to. Same with an internal one of the same. He’s got butt plugs of varying sizes, at least one dildo so he can fully double penetrate you without having someone else there. He’s definitely got a couple of cock rings and at least one of them vibrates. He’s also not afraid of his own ass being played with, so he’s got toys for that too.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He’s the ultimate tease. Fantastic with words, sexts, and dirty talk he’ll have you absolutely dripping and whining for him and he’ll still make you choke on his cock, grinding on his shoe before he’ll touch you. And if you’ve been the one teasing him and riling him up all day, you better believe that he’s not letting you come, he’ll wait til you’re right on the brink and then completely stop. As long as he’s come himself, he’s not touching you and you just know you’re not allowed to touch yourself for the next week. (but he’ll use you however he wants to in that time frame).

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s not crazy loud, lots of groaning, grunting and swearing. But he’s also into dirty talk, and definitely leans to the derogatory side of things. Calling you his dirty whore, his little cum slut, how well you take his thick cock, how good it feels when he’s stretching you out, daddy’s needy thing.

W = Wild card (a random head canon for the character)

Loves M/M/F threesomes. Sometimes it’s the DP action, seeing two cocks stuffed tight into one hole (or two, depending) and sometimes it’s getting his ass fucked while he fucks someone else. He’s got no shame when it comes to that and will openly admit that he enjoys the company of both men and women.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) He’s thick, veiny, a shower. It’s big and he knows it.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Decently high. He likes to fuck a few times a week at the very minimum and I like to believe he’s a daily masturbator. Even on the days where he’s tired or out of it, working late or the like and doesn’t really have the yearn to fuck all it takes is you showing up in your lingerie, or naked, or getting on your knees and he’ll start to get hard.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Pretty fucking quickly, especially if he’s certain there’s no more rounds to be had, or if it’s a work night, he’s out pretty fast.

_______________

@detective-giggles @plaidbooks @thatesqcrush @witches-unruly-heart @beccabarba @bisexual-dreamer02 @amelia-song-pond @madamsnape921 @whimsicallymad @mrsrafaelbarba @mysticfalls01 @ssaic-jareau @caracalwithchips @barbasbodaciousbeard @alwaysachorusgirl @beardedbarba @michael-rooker @rafivadafreddy @lustvolle-liebe @anlin2058 @fandom-princess-forevermore @tinyboxxtink @alexusonfire @xovalliegirlxo @somethingimaginative17 @momlifebehard @misscharlielulu @alcabots @kmc1989 @irishavengersassemble @louderfortheback @valentinesfrog @originalbrunettecharacter @wittygutsy

#bryan kneef #bryan kneef x reader #the good fight #bryan kneef headcanons

[tgmsunmontue]

More than movie magic... 19/?

Hangster AU. Explicit (eventually). Jake is a Hollywood actor and Bradley is a stunt coordinator. Jake's about to make a few self-discoveries. So is Bradley.

ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINE TEN ELEVEN TWELVE THIRTEEN FOURTEEN FIFTEEN SIXTEEN SEVENTEEN EIGHTEEN

Chapter 16 is pretty much the only explicit chapter (so far), so you can skip it if you like, but it's not explicit by my standards, and it's very soft/tender.

NINETEEN

                “Sorry, sorry. Sorry I’m late. Jake’s mom is way more terrifying than you. Hopefully I won’t need more than one shovel talk.”

                Marcia snorts and shakes her head, gestures to where Bob is working and Bradley is grateful that he brought him along with how easily he just seems to know what needs to be done. Man deserves a bonus for this job for sure, picking up Bradley’s slack, uncharacteristic as it is. It’s not a usual situation and he knows Bob will understand that.

                “Also, Marcia, I need to warn you that Pete’s on his way. I apologize in advance for anything and everything he says.”

                “Ugh. It’s fine. Thanks for the warning though. I’ll put him to work and then refuse to put his name in the credits. Serve him right for just turning up and expecting to be welcomed.”

                “You’re the best. Thanks.”

                “Yeah yeah, now get to work and bring us back on schedule hmm?

                “Yes ma’am!” Bradley replies, tipping an imaginary hat. She scoffs and rolls her eyes, makes a shooing gesture with her hands and Bradley grins.

                “Not you too!”

                “It’s rubbing off on me!” Bradley calls back.

                “Rubbing off on something, your boy looks like he got attacked by a cheese grater and then used lemon juice as a moisturizer. You’re going to need to start shaving twice a day,” Natasha mutters, reaching out to whack him on the arm as he walks past. “Maybe consider getting rid of the caterpillar huh?”

                “I happen to like the caterpillar,” Jake interjects, and he looks a little uncertain about interrupting them but Bradley reaches for him, pulls him into a side-hug, leaves his arm around Jake’s waist and feels Jake relax against him. He thinks about Aunty Kaye saying maybe he’ll believe you and he just squeezes a little more, pokes his tongue out at Natasha’s eye roll.

                “You two are gross. Can we get on with doing what we’re meant to be doing?”

                “Sure sure…”

…            …            …

                It’s meant to be all long distance action shots today of them riding and corralling, and Natasha and Rueben are proficient riders, comfortable in their seats even if they don’t quite look born to it. That’s fine, Javy and Callie aren’t playing characters born to it like Jake is.

                “You know, your mom just gave me the most eloquent shovel talk I’ll ever receive.”

                Jake snorts.

                “She was an English and Drama teacher, what were you expecting?”

                “Well, the fact that it was also a pep talk was sort of weird…”

                “What do you mean?”

                “Well, she said she’d do the same to you if she found out if you hurt me. Physically, emotionally or mentally.”

                “What did she threaten you with?” Jake asks, because his mom is not one for violence, not even threatening it. She was always pretty creative with Jake and his siblings growing up, which is almost worse than threatened violence which will never actually eventuate. His mom always believed in only ever threatening things she was fully committed to following through on.

                “Uh. Just a disappointed look? For either of us if we screw it up on purpose?”

                Jake bursts into laughter.

                “Oh god. You don’t know her very well yet, but uh, when she says that, she really means it. It’s not just an in person look. She’ll take a photo of herself, she will then print it, and she will post it to you. She will email it to you. Post it on all her social media accounts. She’ll rent advertising space and put text saying I am disappointed in you with the photo. It’s… it’s horrifying. And I haven’t had her do that to me thankfully, but my sister, oh boy… It stops when you make it right. Or when she thinks you’ve suffered sufficiently.”

                “Well, I’m glad you have her in your corner. And I don’t need her to threaten me to do the best for you, I want to do that anyway.”

                “You a secret romantic there?”

                “No secret about it. I grew up surrounded by love stories.”

                Jake pulls a face, because while there might be plenty of love stories in Hollywood, there are also plenty of affairs and divorces. Bradley seems to pick up on his train of thought.

                “Nothing worth it is easy. I don’t scare easily. Not afraid of hard work. But the love story I was thinking of was my parents. And you have your parents. Those love stories are where we should be looking.”

                Jake blinks, throat a little tight and he nods, because yeah, that kind of love story is something he believes in.

…            …            …

                “Seresin.”

                Jake looks up, and he doesn’t recognize the person addressing him but something about the way he said his name has him straightening up and his stomach flips, because yeah, if he hadn’t known Tom Kazansky was going to be arriving today he wouldn’t have recognized him, but now that he’s looking this man is him. Older and greyer, but still recognizable if you know who you’re looking at.

                “Mr Kazansky, it’s nice to meet you,” Jake says, holding out his hand.

                There’s a brief hesitation before Tom Kazansky is shaking his hand and the man is a multiple award winning director and screen writer, albeit no longer as prolific as he was twenty or even ten years ago, but he still has a presence that expects people to listen to him when he talks. He’s a little intimidating, but not because of his reputation in Hollywood. This is Bradley’s other parental figure and he desperately wants to make a good impression.

                “And you. Pete’s told me a lot about you.”

                “Uh. Okay,” Jake says and grimaces a little, because he’d rather that he’d heard all about Jake from Bradley, but he guesses they’re new, Bradley wouldn’t have had time to talk about him to his parental figures.

                “Don’t worry, I only believe about half of what Pete tells me.”

                “How do you know what half to believe?”

                “Experience,” Kazansky says dryly and Jake bites his lip in amusement, ducks his head so it won’t be noticed. “Also Pete is prone to exaggeration. He’s likely bothering Marcia and Arnold. And Bradley. Thought I’d come and introduce myself.”

                Jake nods.

                “Bradley didn’t tell me about you until just this morning, hasn’t really had a chance to tell me anything. I know he was planning on a family dinner when we get back to LA.”

                “Yes. Pete sort of forced Bradley’s hand there. You’ll get used to it. I hope.”

                “Bradley has already warned me that Parent-Pete is different from the Professional-Pete that I know, but I’m not going to be scared off by threats or anything. Bradley’s already having to deal with that from my mom, so it seems like the bare minimum I can do.”

                “It’s not the threats I’d be worried about when it comes to Pete. And I guess I get Partner-Pete and you get Parent-in-law-Pete. Lord help us.”

                Jake thinks he’s going to like him, once he gets to know him better. Seems to have a dry sense of humor and actually… reminds him a lot of his dad.

                “I don’t know if you’re wanting to hang around the set, but if you want a quiet place to just, sit and chill, my dad is at home. He doesn’t get out much since his accident, prefers peace and quiet. You’re welcome to wait there, if you don’t want to hang around the set that is.”

                He’s aware he’s rambling a little, but by the expression on Tom Kazansky’s face he’s letting Jake do it deliberately.

                “I’d like that. Thank you.”

#Hangster #Sereshaw #more than movie magic #Top Gun Maverick

[senadimell]

ooooohhh dracula daily has made me ship something.

#it's been a hot minute since that happened #(it's jonathan and mina) #idk i always fail to find the words to describe how i relate to romance #but it's usually something about commitment that usually gets me #and i tend to prefer unlabeled relationships where the people are completely committed to each other #but it's not clearly romantic or platonic #because that's usually necessary to avoid The Tropes #but have to say. mina's commitment to jonathan and his to her is stirring #and i'm also probably an equal fan of mina and lucy's relationship tbh #but we have had the advantage of seeing Jonathan's mind and so the hurt/comfort aspect is stronger with jonathan #i just want to protect him okay? #and i have vague spoilery awareness that it's going to hurt to get too attached to lucy #not tagging this (sorry) because people actually read the dracula daily tags and a single post there can easily net 100s of stranger-views #(kinda weird and cool actually; it's like what DDD used to do and which unfortunately caused conflict in the snape fandom) #which. not saying that's a bygone thing to do BUT if you have a pretty curated dash then it seems you tend to go into tags only for newstuff #and i have mostly dropped out of tags on the daily because i don't have a super active fandom these days #(apart from the longrunning ones and i follow people who post about that to fill those interest spaces) #though i should probably drop into the hercule poirot tags sometime because i've very much been enjoying the 1990s series #with caveats obviously because it's the 90s adapting early-mid 20th century and certain prejudices go unquestioned #(casual anti-asian racism is not questioned so far. at all. very uncomfortable.)) #but yeah. tags. and shippery. what a time. feel free to message or ask me because i would like to chat!

[istherewifiinhell]

IS FLYING GENDERED? On the masculine default, typifying gender in genre, and women as the other in the transformers cartoons.

question for the ages

once again i said back in the halcyon days of watching g1 (aka 5 months ago) i was like. Nooooo, decepticon is NOT a gender that's Silly. It's funny, but as a Read Of The Text, I thought it largely unneeded. (The concept came about, as a joke, involving dismissing the bad guys using the same language you would abt women (sexistly) that they're emotional [heh, flighty], vain, and shrill) after all. If in the 80s era there are 5 whole named/speaking woman tfs, its only ever gonna get better from here right? (<- booboo the fool)

anyway

Let's consider the axiom that the assumed default gender is male, that maleness is often seen as LACK of gender, and femaleness and gender variance are the PRESENCE of gender. In certain reasoning and worldviews, of course (See Androcentrism). Then add that, for transformers, the assumed default thing a transformer turns into, is car. (Autocentrism, if you will)

(The most general term for what a tf turns into is "Alt mode" as some of them are not vehicles at all. The other mode is "Robot Mode", whether its humanoid or not)

So I will be laying out why I believe the cartoon iterations support: non standard alt modes = non standard genders. This is in spite of the fact that FIRST lady tfs were all cars. Sleek cyber cars, but still. For whatever reason, (possibly, the reason for everything in tf, toys) they might as well not exist for how woman tf characters presence in the cartoons progressed over time.

And, to be clear, this is a reading of how these works of fiction are created, not a new unified bioessentialism but for robots aliens I'm proposing for like. In universe lore reasons. I hate that idea.

That said, alt modes in order of most to least gender: Spider, motorcycle, flying (in general, with rotors, jets), tank, and then FINALLY, car. (water and space crafts are already too marginal to rank, but they too can be assumed in relation to default maleness, AND that in making one a woman, would still qualify as othering her).

The NUMBER one reason for this is the bizarre need to have an ESTABLISHED woman tf character before making new ones. AS YOU MIGHT IMAGINE. With a g1 gender ratio something like.... (counting even the most marginal cases for the ladies) 9:120? (That's a rough count from a quick scanning of the tf wiki g1 char list) Shits dire out here.

The second is, ofc, character design based. cis people [stand in phrase for the hegemonic world view] are not okay, and their opinions about how tf gender must need be depicted visually is. uh? Im not a fan. Size and shape dimorphism in general is a given, and specifically having women tfs as far more humanoid and curvy in specific. Also general cartoon lady face syndrome but, whatever. I think there's exactly one character here who doesn't have "lips" or "lipstick" as a distinguishing factor. I'm so tired.

Third is generally, the idea of The Girl Of the Team. When there's The Girl, she often isn't JUST a normal character, who happens to be a girl. See, of course, the Smurtfette Principle. But in my view there's also a trend to give The Girl "special traits" on top of "Girl", maybe even to directly combat the idea that the Girl Character has no other traits? To stop this from being a General Primer on Woman in Media, my explanatory focus is things specific to the tf franchise.

(A phrase I use for thinking about normative modes [in general, not just the Alt ones] in within the tf universe is "unique transformerdom" or, even more clunkily, "A transformer of unique transformerdom". The excessive verbosity is amusing to me personally. All I mean by it is to have an umbrella term for any of the ways tfs can be made unique from their peers in the non allegorical realities of the fiction).

I could, and do, and greatly want to, speak about this AT LENGTH. But it keeps spiraling away from me. So I'll say for now were looking at ways a character is being depicted different from her peers, not because she is the only woman (which she likely is), but cause she's a different kind of transformer, AND if she's othered for it.

(IN SOME forms of the lore. Being a transformer woman, IS A UNIQUE KIND of transformer unto itself. Let's just say I hate it and move on)

Fourth, is the gender of villainy. There is much to be said about gender presentation of villains, the ways they are allowed to be aberrant. We will get to it. There is also all the tropes specific TO evil women, and the modes of villainy open TO female characters. But a general thing I think impacting the gender ratios of the factions is the how "Good" and "Evil" female characters are written. I'll generalize and call this the "Damsel vs Temptress" dichotomy. (See concepts like the Madonna-whore complex). Transformers, is by and large, an action franchise. Unless special reasons are made, characters who can impact the action– have more screen time, and likely more memorable, and iconic presences. A villainous woman can be unchaste, violent, aggressive. While a heroic woman, even if not a literal damsel are more likely to be in a support role. The secretaries of the action genre: medics and techs.

(Another factor is that tfs are giant robots, and the good guys are often friends with tiny squishy little humans. These make very good damsel fodder, and can be taking up the spots on the roster that might, in a different franchise, go to women. Additionally, while woman characters in transformers overall is an interesting topic. When I say tf women, I'm referring to ones that are in fictionally, transformers.)

SO, now understanding our points of attack/obstacles for getting woman into transformers. (Getting established, gendering the designed, uniqueness of existence, and general villainy). Lets go over those alt modes, and the characters that have em, in more detail.

Spiders

The "Beast Era" (1996) intro-ed the spider ofc. And what don't we have with this one. She's a villain, but shes also misunderstood, the era and design style let to these more organic shapes. And they used them to make sure she was very sexy. She's genre aware, she's quippy, she's an absolute icon. So naturally. She gets ported to other later shows. Which means we just have sexy spider ladies running around when everyone else is a fucking truck and shit.

Her own origin is, well think of her as a "Bride of Frankenstein" to the resident evil scientist, also a spider. She was designed for, and manipulated by him in multiple ways. Her protoform (A blank robot base), was supposed to be one of the good guys (a Maximal), but was reprogrammed into a bad guy (Predacon). Even then, she eventually joins them, for her own reasons. She's not even the first predacon to do so, the difference? Well the characters are a lot more NORMAL about his autonomy. Both of these characters stress that being a predacon is an identity they still see as important. But only the woman is told that really, she is was was always MEANT to be a maximal. And while that's true in a sense. There's also a plot were she's forced (by plot contrivance, not the other maximals) to get corrective robot surgery for it. And when they think she died from, everyone's more sad for her boyfriend than for her. Ouch.

The second spider, in the 2007 show, is now one in a world where she is the only "techno-organic" transformer, hence, she is spider, everyone else is a vehicle. Similar to the first, her narrative is very gendered, but less in the way were, like, I do literally think the first was was experiencing in universe sexism from other characters. Here, they really focus on the "techno vs organic" narrative, and the tragic circumstances on how that happened. In this case its just real world sexist writing.

THIRD SPIDER, (2010), instead of misunderstood and tragic evil, this ones just super mega likes to cause pain evil. She also occupies a strange place between the typic vehicular tfs, and the insecticons. This is because she has a helicopter alt mode, and her robot mode is just, a lady with spider characteristics. And, more than just a passing bug like similarity, she has the power to control the insecticons (you know, cause evil woman mind control). However, she doesn't fit in with them either, as the insecticons are at the most insect like they've ever been, in look, living in hives and that most don't even speak.

They may vary in exact character, relationship to the story's moral conflict, and design. But they stay comfortably established, dimorphised, flirty and flirting with villainy. And bonus points, always, for black widow spider trope.

SO. SPIDERS. Established: ✅️ Gendered designs: ✅️ (Extremely!) Unique: ✅️ Othered: ✅️ Villainy: ✅️

Motorcycles

Tooooo my knowledge the first bike lady was in 2004, and fairly minor, in the actual plot, but rest assured, they did go the previously established woman route, by being pink, though, which one shes named after varies by language. But neither were previously motorcycles. (And yes, there is also this problem of mixing together or swapping out one woman tf for another. As if we have the ladies to spare). Even though motorcycle men also exist, this one just stuck for a bit. Maybe something to do with Those Movies. I think the Gendered Existence of a motorcycle is pretty evident though, general sex appeal, being smaller, the mode of riding a motorcycle is different, more physical and intimate. Mainly this ranks so high for the level of grossness they can pack in. Just how objectifying it can be, particularly with two instances where the human rider is an annoying teen boy. Naturally, I've also never seen a male and female motorcycle in the same room, but the approach to design tends to be different. And yeah most of em are Arcee, who's first alt mode was cyber car, but it's not just her.

Established: ✅️ Gendered designs: ✅️ Unique: ✅️ Othered: Depends on iteration, I do NOT like the way one gets called "tough, for a two wheeler". Villainy: ❌(they wouldn't need to be motorcycles if they weren't making them the Special Girl Autobot, after all)

Flying

General: It just tends to stick out when your one girl is only flyer in the group, even she's otherwise tactfully done. Only flyer of the Maximals, a falcon, only flyer of the dinobots, a Pteranodon.

Rotors

I can barely even figure this one. Maybe it's just a general, aesthetics and use case of the actually vehicles, the associations? None of these ladies (and special case) are very connected otherwise. As previously mentioned, the spider helicopter. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

A big one for this is the preschool demo shows, which are rescue team focused. In the first one the only woman on the human response worker team pairs with the helicopter, they mention she does medical at times. The helicopter is male, like the other tfs. But also he's afraid of flying, and while not the first case of a flyer with a fear of heights, their personalities are, pretty different. As he's both fearful AND effeminate, fine as character traits go but, with the tone of humour used, marks him as Other.

In the second, Whirl (pointing to icon) becomes a girl for the first time, now with standard humanized face. I assume as move to keep with the previous show of having a girl one, as there's no human team mates. She's also the only one who really likes rescue school. Aaaand that's all know of her. What more do you want from me.

Helicopters: Unique: ✅️ Othered: ✅️ (milder than some)

But why'd I call this section rotors instead of helicopters? That would be because one of the latest Sole Female TF we just put in everything™ is a VTOL jet with rotors. She'll tend to be the only jet of her type, which is also smaller than the type of jet used for the villains.

And, of course, aside from alt mode, the thing that makes her stand out most in the cartoons? That she's very clearly a comics character. (I find the emphasize that she's "fan created" over done, as it only controlled minor aspects, and irrelevant cause tfs get completely overhauled in new versions all the time). From her design, which is a bit busier than most characters she stars with. And also uses Japanese aesthetic signifiers in ways that I think are a bit misappropriated and untactful. (VERY USamerican comics). Also, when she stars next to a guy, also from comics employing Japanese aesthetic, you can tell its not deployed in the same manner. (E.I she has hair and makeup, he has armor). Either way, her depictions have her either as badass sword lady on mission from god who's constantly getting hit on by an annoying guy. Or have her be from a different planet and has special telepathy.

Do we see how both her gender AND the cultural signifiers are having affects here? That the main woman tf in a series can be a literal alien even among our alien robots, with cultural signifiers they don't have?

Ratings Established: ✅️ (made the comics to cartoon jump) Gendered designs: ✅️ Unique: ✅️ Othered: ✅️ (SO SO EXTREMELY, using methods in fiction and real life)

Jets

I think my association of jets with tf gender is stronger, than some of the above examples, even if there's less reason to it. And why is that? Well, lets get socratic. Here's another question.

Is This All Starscream's Fault?

No. He's not real, he can't do things. But. His legacy as THE main stay transformers character that gets to subvert gender? Yeah. (Sure, the G1 autobots have their own effete, but he's not in every single cartoon they ever made now is he? Plus now that I think about it, he is a FLYING car...)

From the get, he's not a Man's man. He's shrill, he's manipulative and duplicitous, petty and emotional, cowardly and wheedling. He is, of course, the Perfect character. Now naturally, the 80s cartoon was not concerned with your paltry logics. Starscream and his ilk are the jets, but every decepticon can fly. The gun, the cassette player, the camera, the cassettes.

And each to a last, more masculine than he is. Vocally or behaviorally, physically. Every one of them fit the gender expectations more than he does. Even being a small time grunt, is a masculine trait, after all, more so than unchecked ambition. So its not femininity from flying, from jets. But direct relationship, reference, and descendancy from Starscream that makes it. I've yet to see female versions of Jet fire and or the aerialbots, for example.

So what to do when an effeminate male villain was less maltese falcon and more that man has effeminate hips? Well. We had to start getting his ass for being effeminate, explicitly. They made the female clone of him, which yeah, is an offensive joke stemming from the various The Gender Anxieties. (Transmisogyny, homophobia and sexism. General relation toxic masculinity. A heady mix of all and more).

But I mean. It's free girl tf... Once given a name in extra canon materials, she start's showing up in other things. Once you're in books, video games, comics, and most importantly, toys, you're real. And then eventually, her first non clone appearance in a cartoon, and how her presence shaped it.

That being, Cyberverse. Which is a cgi show, you need to know this for reasons of production. Making new models is expensive. This has always been the reason you just make recolours of Starscream and name them different things. Chicken or egg on this one, I don't know, But because CV has Slipstream, and the only difference between her and the generic "male" decepticon jet, is a more feminine face; Suddenly, any random decepticon goon can be a woman.

An absolutely revolutionary take for striving to populate a fictional world with gender parity. By at large it also means they're way more lady villains, and specifically flying model of villain. The show has other woman, but none who get the same androgynous body mold treatment.

Established: ✅️ Gendered designs: Mildly to NO. Unique: By design, no. Othered: Yes for the clone, and Screamer himself, I suppose. No, otherwise. Villainy: ✅️(That's, the whole idea)

Tanks

It needs to be said. Sometimes, when doing things that transgress a norm, anteing up is less subversive. This is another reason why gender variance, female agency and overt sexuality are more common traits of villains. When already defying strictures of society. What's one more.

That's Right. TANKS ARE THE BUTCH WOMAN OF TRANSFORMERS.

Alright. Let me back up. Strika is the stone cold knock out undefeated champ of lady tf designs that, actually has a reoccurring cartoon presence. She is, admittedly, only a reoccurring to minor character.

Her introduction is in another show with techno-organics, this one involved in the struggle between well, the techno and the organic. Strika as we see her, and as the design that will go on to be iterated, is not in her normal transformer body. She has been transferred into a 'vehicon' body. Without a preexisting essence contained in one, vehicons are not considered alive, in the way a transformer is. Visually, they lack the more human body plan, a standard face, feet and hand like appendages.

To further contrast Strika against the two techno-organic woman. Both of them are tall, and slender. Their softer organic shapes designed towards elegance or beauty, whatever your subjective opinion of that result might be. They both have romance subplots too. By the way. Or honestly one subplot and one main plot. Strika. In contrast. Is built like a brick shit house. Her face is. Minimal. And her goal: protecting her planet... by terminating the heroes.

Now, existing as a character that can be referenced for other media, and given the detail that she was a "Famous general", it's off to the races. She makes a wonderful big tank menace that can fill out a background shot, too.

Without her I hardly think we could have Clobber, also from CV. Who is. The true goat. The finest thing, the achievements of all we could ever hope for. A big fuck off woman, gender swapped from a previous male design with minimal faff, with now even more personality and show presence. Friends, wants, desires. Emotions. Thank God for Clobber, Thank Clobber for Clobber. Thank Randolph Heard and Mae Catt for Clobber.

Established: Depends if you want to count that Strika had so much swag they kept drawing/modeling her Gendered designs: FUCK NO Unique: ✅️ Othered: only originally Villainy: ✅️

Cars

So now you have the final piece of the puzzle. In transformers, Autobots are Cars. Yes, there are plenty of autobots that are NOT cars, and there are cars that are not Autobots. But they're exceptions, they're aberrances. They're unique. And Autobots are the norm. They oppose the Decepticons. Decepticons are Villains. And Decepticons can fly. Modal simplified binaries and false dichotomy abound!

And the thing about those original Autobot woman, the one's who largely did not influence all of this? They were cars, it's true, but not like how the men where cars. They've not been designed from transforming car toys, with a shellac of humanoid gender over top. Their designed in the way of human gender. With the car on top.

When the preexisting clause leads to the original designs to be revisited, which, has largely only happened in more recent years. They aren't car woman robots. The cars are literally not part of their bodies, they are additional. Instead of a unifying identity of a robot who is a car, its Arcee and her backpack. Parts of cars get grafted onto their petite lady bodies, and placed anywhere out of the way.

In order to make a transformer a woman, they have to give her a gender, not understanding that that's always been the case. And to give her a woman's gender, she's got to LOOK like a woman, not a transformer. And to look like a woman, she's got to act like a woman. She must be heroic but reactive instead of active, or else, villainous, conniving and or self centered. To be a woman, we must have some other previous woman to explain her presence, or else explain it anew with her unique, strange, or exotic origin. How could she ever be a woman if she simply, existed, looked average, talked average. How could she be a woman if her body is hunks of ungendered car. How can she be a woman if she's everything we expect a transformer to be.

A woman is transgressive, a woman is not normal. Autobots are normal. Autobots are heros. Autobots are men. And Autobots do not fly.

#some shit #its not called cisformers #<- IT SURE ISNT FOLKS #a note on how im using citations here u can read BEFORE getting into the post proper #I'm writing this in mind that someone might have NO idea about tf. or. god forbid. #the general perspective of media trope analysis im working from. #So the links can be considered additional or further reading with intent of 1. if a more thorough understanding of a concept might help #2. something im eliding the name of for search reasons 3. a referential example of what im saying #4. a specifc reference/bit of info that might be unclear. in which case im usually linking to a SECTION of the page #5. JOKE #ALright now normal tag talking space. #THIS IS. serious media analysis done casually for fun! in that. I mean it. genuinely. But also im here for silly fun and im not trying #to be SOOOO academically rigorous that its still not. Posting. u know? #MUCH inspired. or i suppose u might say. encouraged to completion and whole hearted commitment by (fandom) silly serious analysis and #math theroying thematics #i have NO idea if this thing will be searchable with all the links and the words i used. but i prepared for it it case it is #AND I PUT A LOT OF WORK INTO IT!!!!!!!! SO its okay if anyone reads it! #but im also braced for bad faithing inwhich case. I will not be held responsible for my actions. thank you. #i have been told to tag this #maccadam #transformers #if someone tryies to kill me for it im not taking responsibility

[liquidstar]

a friend who'd wait :)

#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops. #and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can! #and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol #finn's ocs #finn's art #i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me #and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun #i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here: #barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past #he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it #he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned #which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them #they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore #but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird #and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place #though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library #and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together #since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door #eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement #barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time. #barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate #but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd #he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself #but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done. #and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies. #and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them) #and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances'' #from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov #sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3 #but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh

[b4kuch1n]

been scribblin with the dip pens to prepare for inking the next comic (yuuto⏫’s “origin story” kind of basically) and wow turns out I can do anything I want forever

yuuto’s new friends names of amy and linh >:]c

#UTAU #sawayama yuuto #bakuspecial #[comic tag pending] #I'll be drawing about just the beginning of this whole plot this time round. but boy oh boy if I were paid to serialize this!! #well even if I wont. I will hopefully get to chip away at it a bit at a time. over the next uhhhhh ten years #in another news. I think somethings up with the dip pens. about anything comes out looking good with them #its scary!! I kept looking at my sketches like no way these are gonna work out. but I'll do it for the practice hour #and then I do it and it always turns out pretty good. what the hells!!! thats weird!! thats kinda scary I like it!!! #and like I'm absolutely not even that good with a dip pen yet!! 1/Ive just had these for uhh. two days. and 2/my hands are NOT steady #its why u see me undo and redo a line 298473987 times twice a half hour. it was caught on stream multiple times #but!! the dip pen's making me commit to a line. and also I'm slowly internalizing that anything'd come out okay with them #as long as I have a sketch. boy oh boy is freehanding with these hard #its so. idk its so nice!! its so fun. somehow a lot less pressure than the usual stuff I do lol #I cant wait to really get into drawing this comic... I cant wait to force all of u to look at yuuto&co #you WILL see and hear my baby boy #dskjfhsjk Im so glad the senpai lets me do this. I mean even if he doesnt I will do it anyway. its just gonna suck #but Im so happy I get to do this with him actually #hehehe >:]c

[bitegore]

idk about the rest of you but i genuinely don't make decisions high that I wouldn't make sober

#half because i think about things when i do them by either a) no thought instant impulse straight to action OR b) very close overthinking #and drugs dont usually do anything besides make me do more of one or the other #i dont really Do 'back off bc nervous' *except* when under the influence tbh bc i overthink tapping the brakes #so like i'm more likely to be like 'may be i shouldn't get an impulse tattoo from this random person' while high than sober #this is a me problem #other half is just because i will commit to such dumb shit anyway and have enough wrong with me that my sober instincts and desires are #p much totally in line with my influenced ones as far as i've seen #im never sobering up like 'what was i thinking' i always know what i was thinking ans usually im like 'yeah good call' about it #being DRUNK is the only one I don't really feel that way about and is because it's bad for my mental health but like ive never really done #something while drunk i wouldn't do while sober either i just usually feel a little off kilter about it #red rambles

[tariah23]

ur tags on that kenjaku post… oh my god you saw that too? i was truly horrified

YEAH… I saw that shit, I hate stsg so much lmfaooo. It’s so obvious that they want Getou to be the “girl,” so badly. He’s getting the treatment of every dark haired best friend in a popular shounen 🚶🏾‍♀️. He’s too good of a character for this!

#I don’t really hate it fr but I’ve never been too crazy over it at all like the I don’t feel too strongly for it but I like some of the art #that I come across and all that and I’d prob draw it myself one of these days but the fans make me want to turn the other way most of the #time #they just hit getou with the girl beam and it’s unfortunately become like another case of fans acting like fanon is canon when regarding the #ship and the mischaracterizations of getou’s character has been insane #I feel like.. what’s the point of liking a ship if you don’t like the characters at all because this is how I feel whenever I see most stsg #fan content if I’m being real #they even draw him shorter on purpose just because they want him to be that girl it’s so stupid to me sorry #and he’s always being abused in fan content and now im even thinking about that one doujin where he was being assaulted by kenjaku and #forced to bare his children only for Kenny to kill the kids immediately after birth…? and then Gojo somehow saved him and at that point #getou had become obsessed with sex and it ended with gojo committing a murder sui #man what the fuck ever #I will save getou he’s so cool and doesn’t deserve THIS #and if you’ve noticed anything about them ship wise then like #I hope I’m not the only one who’s found it odd how most stsg is always weird and fucked up vs gego being mostly lighthearted??? I have no #clue as to why but!!! #maybe it’s because most stsg again. still treat getou like the girl vs in gego well I’ve noticed that they’re usually the same as canon??? #(outside of the genderbent content but you get it) it’s just something that I’ve noticed #sasukeless #tkf replies #um #getou get behind me-

[lorisystem]

The nicest person in the world is the lady who helped me tie my shoes at 5ish years old so i could go play during recess. (I elaborated in the tags but theyre fairly long,,) -???

#ive already told this story to some people but i love to tell it. #ok so when i was young i only wore velcro shoes bc i couldnt tie laces. #even now i havent learned the proper knot that literally everybody has learned. idk why i just cant commit it to memory but to be fair #i havent tried to learn it in years bc now i learned a different way to tie my shoes which takes longer so everybody is always like why do #you take so long tying your shoes. #but anyway this story is when i was around 5 maybe younger or maybe older but max 7 yrs old. #my mom only bought me velcro shoes since i couldnt learn how to tie my shoes normally and at some point trying to learn made me so #frustrated i just refused to try and cried etc. #so anyway in my old school there was this weird rule ive never seen anywhere else that we had to use other shoes in the class #i guess to avoid dirtying the floors or something. #and one time my mom bought me new shoes with laces and threw my old shoes probably thinking id have to learn it. i didnt lol. #so she tied my shoes in the morning and then i went to school changed shoes and like i had to like. put back my lace shoes on to go outside #for recess. now get that the teacher hated me. not sure why you would hate a child this age. but she was usually mean to me. #so when she saw this issue she was rlly annoyed and told me so and like the first few days she tied my shoes so i could go outside. #and idk after 2 or 3 times she got rlly tired of doing it and said i had to do it by myself. and she just like fucking left and went outside #leaving me alone on the staircase. #and now this building had a 2nd story which was like a house or flat where people lived. and they were totally unrelated to the school afaik #but the lady was always rlly nice. so she happened to be going down to go outside and about her day and she saw me crying by myself on the #staircase and said whats wrong and i told her i cant tie my shoes and she just helped me and consoled me and then i could go. #anyway she was an angel to me. #its hitting me now as i tell this that when i was a child many of the adults around me were really mean #so i really imprinted on nice adults like i thought they were really amazing and the best people ever. #anyway thank you for reading my story!! #lorisys

[icharchivist]

Chikage’s 3rd flair (the usual fanservice minichat one) has him talk about how the Spring troupe is trying to get information out of him, and yet that way he learns more about them and he enjoys getting to know more abut them, and then he turns to Izumi like “do you want to hear more about me? okay. lean me your ear” and then he gets EXTREMELY CLOSE TO THE CAMERA TO REALLY TRANSLATE THAT HE IS WHISPERING DIRECTLY TO HER EAR

and it’s to say how he prefers to eat his curry. he’s CLOWNING ME.

and then he ends up being all teasy because :) yeah it’s still learning about me! and it’s implied Izumi gets pouty because he replies something that a friend of mine translated "Well, there's no need to know in hurry. We'll be getting along for a long time, right?” but google translate translated the “getting along” part as “we’ll be in a long relationship after all”

and i’m

i’m having a moment. 

#i usually kinda skip those and don't try to read them #bc my understanding of Japanese is really on the basis so far #but i skip them by tapping on the screen bc it's faster than reaching for the button skip #and SO SEEING HIM GET THIS CLOSE JUMPSCARED THE HELL OUT OF ME #so i tried to read through the rest and looked at a translator and then asked a friend who is fluent to help me make sure i got it right #and i got quickly the whole 'let me tell you a secret' *invades your personal space* *says something relatively silly* #LIKE it's STILL SOMETHING ABOTU HIM and it's sweet but it was clearly not what people were fishing for and he knows it!! #and I KNEW. I KNEEEEW HE WAS DOING THAT #im. weeps and holds my head into my hands in despair. #it has no right working on me so well i hate it #and once again with his 'we'll have a long relationship so it's fine you'll get to know more in that time' #it adds so much to the fact one of his way to flirt is so much so constantly proposing or acting like they're engaged #and then going 'i'm joking though. or am i. :).' #like geez talk about commitment #and i'm not going to derail myself thinking about man. commitment for a man who had to always be on the move and everything. #like. bites fist. #but yeah anyway i was in public when i was going through this and i almost fucking cried on the spot #and i felt myself turning red like a complete idiot #so fuck this fuck this fuck t- #ichablogging a3jpn

[imthatwannabeauthor]

.

#ok. nobody fucking look at me about this post but #my biggest fucking guilty pleasure thought fantasy is fucked up #its like. its usually like me interacting with someone that has either power or i like look up to #and they interact with me and they interact with me and were happy and alls well until i flinch when they raise their hand or something sim #and they notice. and they make me pause and talk about it and i dont have to feel bad about i dont hae to feel about talking about it #i can say all of it everything and i dont have to feel bad because theyre ok with me talking about all of it everything #and and and i can leave. the find a wy for me to leave #and i dont even have to hurt my parents feelings or have her threaten to commit suicide or have to quit college #i can leave #and im safe #and and i can just not be here #but its ok because i still have a good relationship with them and i can come back when i want and visit but i dont have to be here #i can leave when i want because i dont have to be in this house with them #its my biggest fantasy #itll never happen #i think sometimes i will never be able to move out of this house #i will never get the future ive been reaching for #trapped. here. forever

[keeps-ache]

[commits the goofiest dance known to humanity]

#just me hi #i'm sure a really committed bird could do one better but.. #//anyway i made a pillowfort #cuz i've heard a bit about it and wanted to try it out :> #i'll post a couple more times and see if i wanna stick around lol #so far i'm liking it! it's a bit different but not so much that i'm suffering hvfsh #//fam's watching hunger games in the living room and i am getting anxious just listening to it rn fffhvhfhs #please turn down the volume. i don't like. the screams of anguish #//anyway- i'm drawing Oath now bc if i wanna test out something new and i when actually Plan to do something new he's usually my go-to #like a crash dummy! throw him against the wall n see what happens :3

[cparti-mkiki]

it’s interesting how in fandom mind a standard rape by a main character is irredeemable but a standard murder by a main character doesn’t even register as one most of the time. i suppose it’s the effect of a long history of cool murder which has desensitized the audience but of course it would be disingenuous for me to pretend that rape and murder are framed equally in fiction. like in real life i think we and the legal system agree that rape is very bad but murder is basically the worst thing ever - whereas in many media universes murder is framed as so unremarkable that the audiences might not even see it as murder (and more often then not also framed to look extremely uhh badass and cool) but rape is given enormous narrative & emotional weight. maybe because rape is a terrifying reality that’s never far from us but getting sliced in half by a valyrian steel sword is something we don’t really see happening anytime soon?

anyway this is a post about how twitter’s only “you can’t like this character” character so far is aegon, who has killed no one but raped one, possibly many, whereas his relatives who have a kill count per episode are huge fan favorites. this is also of course a post lamenting people holding morality as a guide to what characters people can like and which are evil monsters no one should express any interest in or else you’re a rape apologist or something but i think we already have enough of these posts on tumblr? like talking about how it’s insane to try to police media enjoyment online & infer anything about people because they like controversial characters and also how it’s even more insane (and probably impossible. and sad.) to limit yourself to caring about characters who are good and pure and all that, i feel like that’s covered. at least in my mutual bubble i am preaching to the choir when i say that these are not people - these are lines of text that the author has decided to portray doing such or such thing for there to be a story - and the point of enjoying fiction is not to be constantly weighing who is morally good so you can be exclusively on their side (imagine doing that for hotd.. haha… ha…)

#honestly the only actual crime a character can commit in my eyes is to be boring #like what’s the point then. you’re not making me feel anything except tired can we get back to your problematic cousins #but anyway back to complaining about the audience. imagine trying to side with the good guys in a show that 1) has no good guys 😭 #my posts #to add on to my first paragraph it’s also interesting how there are a lot of posts like #’i love when characters are messy i love when characters kill etc etc’ but the same posters are outraged and repulsed when a character #actually does something messy (like rape. torture. being mean to their fave). it’s all very superficial like their idea of a messy #character is someone slightly edgy (daemon for example) but who never does anything most people would find genuinely upsetting #whereas disaster guys like larys or aegon (or viserys. but the real viserys not the fandom’s girl dad peepaw viserys) #or criston or otto are instantly disliked by them #for being cunts and problematique #and they start making their callout posts like the people liking these characters are… unaware of their terrible actions? #like that’s only possible explanation for liking them? that you haven’t realized / been made aware that they’re BAD and unrighteous? #and reading a callout post will make them go ‘oh my god they’re right! aegon really is a piece of shit! how could i have associated w him!’ #like i don’t think they get what makes a character interesting (hint it’s the essence of what they usually denounce in their callouts) #boy am i glad not to be one of those posters who can only enjoy sanitized content or else they turn into the puritan police 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

[genderfluid-druid]

waugh. a friend who i had a bit of a crush on at one point but decided against pursuing anything with, just confirmed she also had a crush on me which. Doesn't really change anything because i already know i don't want a relationship. But gaugh argh why are things difficult.

#i mean i told her i wasn't interested because i have learned my Whole Goddamn Lesson about like. ambiguity and/or going along with things #just because i don't wanna say no #but i do kinda want to yell into a canyon about it #especially because i REALLY FUCKING MISS BEING KISSED #THAT WAS NICE I LIKED THAT PART OF ROMANCE #there's also this. shit in my brain that if i want to be kissed and i can experience crushes but don't want a dedicated relationship then #that just means I'm 'scared of commitment' or 'emotionally immature' #WHICH. MAYBE SO. LIKE I'M NOT SAYING I'M NOT #but also. i don't want a fucking relationship okay and that's not a goddamn crime! #i want to hang out with my friends!!! i don't wanna get.... The Way That I Get when I'm in a relationship #which is really fucking codependent and awful #and implodes after like a year #in a spectacular fireworks display #that usually leaves me extremely mentally unwell to the point of Yes You Should Be Worried #after doing that what. four times? maybe there are lessons i could learn. or maybe the lesson is Do NOT Do That Anymore. #okay? okay?? fuck. #also my crush has already passed is the other thing!! like i enjoy hanging out with her but my crushes are SO fucking transient #i can have five different crushes in the span of a month and then they're all done. this is not something on which to build a romance idk