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blood-injections · 7 months

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talk 2 me about H Shoe Crab... (if u like) (I'm in a... Crabby... mood... heh)

I will GLADLY talk to you about Crab!! also fucking amazing pun i love puns. Okay so as you maybe know ive been putting the suitehearts through the genderweird beam between Sandman being. I mean just look at that guy hes so genderfluid and going oh what if i saiddd she/he Donnie but while Donnies thing is just like she doesn't care shes not transfem shes just, well, Donnie. Unfortunatly Benzedrine's the token cis guy until I maybe change my mind. Anyway I've been thinking about hitting H Shoe(is it Horseshoe or H Shoe is there a difference or is H Shoe just like shortened? I mean the canon is the last thing about any of this but what actually is it because I've seen it every way is there a right way?) Crab with the transfeminator because. Why not. Plus look at her. Also Crab and Jet Star would so be transfem partners in crime.

Okay I'm just gonna dump all the Crab things I've come up with while fleshing out my suitehearts stuff. So I think he'd be the only suiteheart that doesn't mind the fab four and that the fab four don't mind bc the crews totally have a weird rivalry all the suitehearts hate the four except for sandman but thats sandman. And also Crab bc hes just like cool like that. And the fab four all hate the suitehearts except for Crab bc again. He's cool like that. Like they respect him more where they dont the others and Benze especially. Again sandmans kinda an outlier tho the fab four dont hate him they just all think hes fucking annoying. Except for ghoul and kobra but thats ghoul and kobra. But like benz and party? At eachothers throats all day every day and not in a cool sexy way. But they all like crab and i think crab and jet would be best friends i think party would be like jealous of that but theyd like crab anyway cause hes just a cool zonerunner with a sweet face and you cant stay pissy at that. Kobra probably wouldnt care for him that much but he wouldnt mind him either and then ghoul would be like lowkey obsessed with him in like an annoying little brother that NEEDS to prank him kind of way but crab lives with sandman and is literally. Untouchable by mischief. Ghoul tries to prank him and Crab somehow Knows and always turns the situation around and Ghoul's just the one that ends up getting pranked instead or hes caught in his own boobytrap. Its bc ghoul and sandman are the same flavor of little shit.

Anyway. Horseshoe Crab fuckinggg. That guard dog post i think you know the one. Hes the loyalest fucker ever to Benze especially, I'm still deciding what like suitehearts ship to put for background shit in my funsandkid frankenghoul thing oh man whatd i title it. Um. Haunted and Holy. Yeah. Like. Benzecrab... but also with the way benze is characterized in that and what i have planned for like crab and ghouls interactions idk if itd work in it. Still tempted to try it though. But like Benzecrab or should have there be something between Crab and Donnie hhhfhh i cant decide. But yeah Crabs so fucking loyal to his friends especially Benze, in Haunted and holy not so much because benze going crazy and making a person and not treating him like a person is like. Not trustworthy behavior. But until that happens and in anything else. Super loyal especially for benze. And totally a big brother to Sandman like after meeting him was like okay this guys my dude now and claimed him as like a little brother so hes also fiercely loyal for them but more like protective rather than like. For benze hes loyal in that guard dog way where he has such extreme loyalty its become devotion and he'll obey his every command way, while for sandman hes loyal in protective older sibling way and like not guard dog but rather stray dog that sandman fed one too many times and so now hes claimed him and will protect him with his life but won't stop doing so if it commands him to. Protection out of chosen love not earned loyalty. If all that makes sense. And I kinda really want to write what would happen if there was a divide in the suitehearts and Crab had to choose between those things like if he had to choose to take the side of the guy hes devoted to and maybe loves if its benzecrab or the side of his little fucking brother even if theyre not related by blood it would be so sadistic of me to him and myself writing to make him choose between the guy he saved and pulled off the streets and who was his first crewmate versus the guy that saved him and kept him alive and actually made their crew. His leader thats earned his loyalty and respect versus the guy who was family to him before he ever met Benzedrine. But both equally loved by him in their ways. Imagine if he had to choose between them hehhehehege supervillian cackle.

I feel bad for not mentioning Donnie as much in this but i think crab and donnie wouldn't have as strong of a connection like they're best friends and crew theyd kill for eachother like anyone yes but i think theres not as strong as an emotional connection there as there is with sandman or Benzedrine because i feel like theyd both kind of be like. the underdogs of the suitehearts? Like they both have their own thing going on sometimes with crab being a zonerunner and donnie being a busy mechanic and not having met donnie until later like benze they wouldnt have bonded as much and i also hc Donnie as like distant? Like eventually thatd change but i think it takes Donnie like years to fully come around to them all. By then crab and her could be super close but i just dont think donnie would hold as big a candle compared to benze or sandman in crabs mind in the theoretical suitehearts split thing. Anyway can you tell I'm normal about them.

#uhhh i could probably think of more i could definitely think of more but im done for now 👍#americas suitehearts #benzedrine's monster #horseshoe crab

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gyahyahyahayhahayahyahyahyahyaha · 2 years

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had a dream that started normalish.... it was late at night, very dark out side from a few street lamps n sign lighting, hanging out by some stores wandering around a bit, then alla the sudden im in this building fighting for my life an tryna stop this collection of ppl from taking their own or others.. i kept failing to protect them otherwise from eachother or from their own waning wills n spirirts from being made to kill ppl they dont wamt to kill or giving in amd finding reasons to make it end faster......the entire time this song was playing. i remember fighting these like sentient machines atop this wall only to find put that they werent in charge and all they were in charge if was moving bodies to some slum hundreds of miles below the wall. theyd put the ppl in these like huge person sized poster tubes pr wjatever they are n srop em down below. tried to stopthem from dropping some of tge opl i failed to stop/ save to the area below.. i recovered... some of them. then it was just me n this one other who i got to watch lose her mind as i was tryna clean the house n then eventually try to kill me too. i tried to mitigate it somehow. because i knew even when they were tryna justify their actions it was all coming from the fact that something was forcibly making them lash out against their wills until it was the only thing they could think to do out if pure frustration n helplessness. eventually everyone who i thought was dead at this point were all left in a room milling about. things were ok for a few minutes then the all started doing their respective “wind-ups”.

they all would wind up an attack with some kind of improvised weapon after saying some kind of phrase. like them being forced to say a short phrase bout something thatcuts deep into their fears n insecurities served as like a wind up key for a wind up doll to wind up theor signature phrase alongside their signature attack. it was always the same phrase and kind of attack for each respective person.

i could only try to break their weapons and makesure no serious damagewas dealt. felt like i was in a blender tryna dodge each strike of tge blades. dream ended wjen one of the ppl had grabbed a kebab knife and started winding up their pharase and attack. however as if recieving a revelation from god they stopped mid phrase and adjusted their swing to seal the deal. i was on a table tryna avoid a swing but they stopped and grabbed my leg and everyone in the room went from focused on hitting whoever was in front of them to tryna tear my leg off in an instant. tgen i woke uo

the... tubes were like essentially coffins or body bags or both... sometimes they would wiggle and swing around like a slinky after being sealed and thrown around. sometimes they would be stiff as stone. it was harrowing to see. part of the reason i was so desparate to recover some of the ppl who had been sealed inside isbecause i knew a good portion of them were still alive, and also because i couldnt stand seeing the way the tubes would be moving after being sealed. the beings sealing the ppl in there, alive or dead were... like these sort of cloaked beings... hm maybe i draw them

#dreaj

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iceslushii · 3 years

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Shattered Glass

*inspired by vanoss-luigi's 'footage' fanfic*

chapter: 26

word count: 4,666

characters: H20Delirious, Terroriser, SMii7Y, BigJigglyPanda, WILDCAT, Kryoz, Moo, BasicallyIDoWrk, fourzer0seven, CaRtOoNz, mentioning of Vanoss and Daithi De Nogla

tw: swearing, mentioning of blood (!!if i forget to put a warning for anything please let me know as i'm not very good at knowing what trigger warnings to include!!)

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"Oh my god.." Delirious gasped as the 8 had no choice but to witness something rise from the ground.. ..and it was something nobody expected. "Are you.. fucking kidding me?" Terroriser almost muttered. "Where are Brock and Marcel?" SMii7Y looked around, although he couldn't see them. "Hold on, I'll be back." Marcel and Brock, meanwhile, were still laying on the grass near the entrance, the two had fallen asleep. "Aw.." SMii7Y smiled at them. He ran back to the others, and.. "Where are they?" Panda asked. "They're near the entrance, asleep." "Ohh.." WILDCAT grinned. "..what do we do about.. that?" Kryoz looked at it. "You can't do anything." It suddenly said, making everyone jump. "What the fuck?" Panda yelled moments before a weird noise could be heard. "..uh, bad news, guys. The exit is blocked off.." SMii7Y had ran off to see what had happened and came back to tell everyone else. "What are you, and why have you-" "David did it, not me." Everyone's eyes widened as they stared at eachother in disbelief. "Are you.. who I think you are?" Terroriser took a step towards the thing before being dragged back. "Brian. Don't." He turned around to see.. "Oh, you two are awake now?" "We got woken up by Panda yelling.. what the fuck is going on?" Basically rubbed his eyes. "We don't know." Kryoz said before the sky darkened. "..you can change the weather?" "Yeah. I can change it to thunder if you'd want." and so it did. Thunder struck near one of the trees, startling pretty much all 10 of the people remaining. "I wish I hadn't joined you all.." Moo hid behind Terroriser as the thing got closer to the crowd of people. "What are all of you gonna do now?" It exclaimed. Nobody said anything as it threw a glass shard towards everyone, missing them all intentionally. "..what can we do?" Moo muttered, Terroriser looking back at him in surprise. "Brock, we'll be fine." Terroriser whispered in response, making Moo smile a little. He quickly took out a bow and some arrows he had crafted not long ago, handing them to Moo, signalling for him to hide them. Terroriser had already given everyone else different kinds of weapons, and Moo happened to be the last to receive one. "So.. what are all of you gonna do now?" It repeated itself, when nobody spoke once again it grew angrier, thunder striking scarily close to Kryoz and SMii7Y, who for the most part appeared unfased. "I'm not worried." CaRtOoNz stepped forward. "Oh really?" "Nope." "And neither am I!" Delirious yelled, standing next to him. Whilst the thing was distracted, Panda and fourzer0 pulled out their bows and shot at it: both shots hit it, and they somehow managed to hide them before it noticed. "What the fuck was that?" It stared at everyone, trying to register their faces, unable to figure out who did it. "Whoever did that.. I swear to fucking god." Lightning struck once more, fasing almost no-one. "Like we've said, we're not worried about you." CaRtOoNz put his arm around Delirious. Kryoz, fourzer0, Basically and Panda also stood next to the two, the thing laughing. "You think you can stop me?" It lifted its hands up slightly, lightning bolts sticking out of them, almost like the bolts had stabbed them. "Are those thunder bolts..?" Basically stared at its hands, fascinated. "Sure are!" It responded, smiling at him. "Hey, so.." Delirious took a step forward, CaRtOoNz keeping hold of his arm. "Are you and Nogla gonna come back, or..?" As soon as he said that, its eyes glistened and Delirious knew he had angered it. It raised its arms, staring at everyone, eyes still shining. "I'm not going back! You can't stop me!" Its voice echoed throughout the woods, shards of glass coming the group's way. "Oh, gosh.." Moo began choking up glass, followed by Basically and (unexpectedly) Delirious seconds later, the three falling onto their knees as glass continued leaving them. As it was focused primarily on forcing them to choke up glass, the rest of their friends used either bows and arrows or slingshots to hit it, with barely any shots missing. When it finally directed its attention to everyone else, theyd managed to weaken it to the point where Delirious, Basically and Moo abruptly stopped choking up glass. "Thank god.. I felt like it wasn't gonna end." Delirious couldn't stand up without his legs giving out instantly. "Ugh.." was all Moo could say as he laid there. "Well.. we can't do shit." Basically faceplanted onto the floor, silently hoping the 7 who weren't choking up glass could finally defeat whatever the fuck was attacking them. What felt like minutes passed as CaRtOoNz and the 6 who could fight continuously shot at the thing.. then it happened.

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haha two cliffhanger chapters in a row

#bbs #banana bus squad #h20delirious #terroriser #smii7y #bigjigglypanda #i am wildcat #kryoz #moo snuckel #basicallyidowrk #fourzer0seven #cartoonz #vanossgaming #daithi de nogla #fanfiction #fanfic: shattered glass

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swatato · 4 years

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fat. FAT. P H A T RANT INCOMING FOR ANYONE WHO CARES TO READ THIS NONSENSE CUZ @haldidoodh ASKED

That episode literally blasted the last of my serotonin into smithereens but TBH??? WHO AM I MAD AT I should have seen this coming this whole volume has been such a headache. I cant be bothered to type up a coherent rwde essay on everything that bothered me this episode so im just gonna copy and paste my earlier yelling here instead ;A;

Team Rwby was god awful in episodes 11-12. They’re so self-righteous, entitled, hypocritical and cocky as a team and it doesnt help that they all suck as individual characters nowadays (except for weiss but even she lost best-girl points this episode also lmao blake and yang aren’t even INDIVIDUALS anymore they’re just bumbleby). It was annoying at first but now its just infuriating how rwby thinks theyre always right with their uwu energy and think they can do whatever tf they want with ZERO CONSEQUENCES.

Basically any time there is a problem in this show they have Ruby uwu at it and its solved lol.

They kept giving ironwood shit for taking on this incredible burden SO THAT NOBODY ELSE WOULD HAVE TO and rather than offer any real solution they just kept going “but mantle” like okay?? But remnant??? Like obvi letting mantle rot is bad but HE WAS OPEN TO ANY HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS CUZ HES OBVI AT HIS WITTS END AND DOESNT LIKE THE IDEA EITHER but yeah they just proceed to be the fattest hypocrites by hiding secrets of their own after being all “no more secrets uwu” and WHEN THEY GOT EXPOSED THEY JUST WENT “>:[“ (yangs self-righteous little glare here pissed me off so much oof) especially when ironwood was laying everything out in the open to them from the start. AND ESPECIALLY WHEN THE SECRET WAS FKIN “OH YEAH SALEM CANT DIE LOL” They watched ironwood make every decision he did in hopes of beating Salem while KNOWING she couldnt die??? So literallY WHERE do they get off on screeching at him with their yOu doNt hAvE to Suffer In ManTle YOu doNt kNow whAt iTs liKe bs. Wtf made ruby distrust iw at the start anyway? Because he had a bunch of ships out? They kept this CRUCIAL piece of information from him because he seemed stressed out?? Like what made ruby keep the secret from him. Someone tell me.

And the fact that rwby beat the ace-ops makes no goddamned sense. The power-scaling in this show is non-existant. We finally got to meet some pro huntsmen in this universe who aren’t teachers but are actually on the job, but because we gotta move out of the way for that 👌🏽✨ Power Of Friendship✨ and ✨rwby is always right✨ they somehow managed to beat experienced huntsmen with YEARS in the field who’ve actually graduated school??? FARM BOI OSCAR WHOS *JUST* LEARNING HOW TO FIGHT MANAGED TO LAND A PUNCH ON NEO FKIN POLITAN??? Didnt neo dance circles around yang??? Yang, who punches for a living and also beat mercury and adam??? I cant yall (and the fact that he didnt even bother to sneak up on her this boi literally screamed “no!!” as he ran down a hallway and neo didnt even have time to blink??? Pls)

Ruby’s “you were the best, until you trained us :3” -for maybe 2 days before my team went dancing ruby sis shut right tf up pls my god is this line just so. UNEARNED. Training in a room for a short while does not simply grant you the years of field experience the ace ops have and whAT IS UP WITH HER TRYING TO REASON WITH HARIETT AFTER SAYING THAT COCKY LINE AND FIGHTING HER??? WHAT and also like. The entire idea of “the ops lost cuz they weren’t good friends and were bad at teamwork uwu” is just so dumb. Ur telling me this group of high ranking hunstmen who’ve most likely been working together for at least a few years didnt have teamwork down??? Learning to work together is the most BASIC concept for a team to learn!! Its like the first thing a team has to perfect!! If the ace ops are supposed to be the best of atlas you dont think the ops would have gotten something as fundemental as teamwork down?? I dont buy it. And who gives a shit if they dont hang out after work or take selfies with eachother. Being friends doesnt necessarily mean theyre great at working together. If they succeed at relying on eachother to watch their backs, to keep each other alive (in the words of hariett herself) then Id think theyd know how to protect eachother i.e WORK TOGETHER.

And for all the ✨friendship✨ and ✨going through so much with someone✨ talk rwby like to do, the show barely displays these people acting like friends. We’re constantly TOLD how great of friends this group is, but the actual CONTENT we are shown leaves a lot to be desired. Tell me the last time ruby and blake teamed up in a fight. Or weiss and blake. Or yang and weiss. What teamwork?? Yang only interacts with blake now and weiss is only ever allowed to interact with ruby. Has blake ever said nora or ren’s name out loud? Have jaune and yang ever held a conversation between just them? Team rwby just spent a GOOD DEAL of time seperated from eachother, but when they reunite their teamwork is still somehow better than the ace ops?? Honestly its easier to believe that ruby is closer with team jnpr than she is her own team. If they showed the ops messing up during rwby vs ace ops fight due to lack of communication, then it still doesnt matter. My point is that they shouldnt have lacked teamwork in the first place.

Robyn was m e h this episode “JaMes ConTinUes to UnDeresTimAte Me” *proceeds to get knocked over in .3 seconds and is then KO for the rest of the episode* also great job for starting a fight and aiming to take clovers life in a moving airship with a terrorist on board when clover was acting PEACEFULLY and qrow was WILLING TO TALK IT OUT WITH IW and potentially work on a solution, but naw robyn is big mad and shall shoot.

Qrow made zero sense this episode too. I was with him right up until he chose TYRIAN OVER CLOVER??? THE PSYCOPATH WHO CANNOT BE REASONED WITH OVER THE RATIONAL DUDE YOU KNOW IS GOOD except clover wasnt acting rational in this fight at all and ill get to that AND IS THE ONLY FRIEND YOU HAVE WHOS NOT 19????? Qrow rly looked at tyrian- a man who is literally an enemy to all of remnant and went after ur neice- and said lets get rid of this punk together u and me bro. Like screw teaming with clover to bring down the dude you ACTUALLY have a grudge with whos also a serial killer and then trying to talk it out with clover whod be willing to do things peacefully why is this show like this

and AS FOR CLOVER. where were the braincells this episode. Qrow was trying to fight tyrian-the WAY bigger threat here, but clover??? kept knocking him away from tyrian and restraining him with his hook like??? YEAH LETS HELP OUT THE DEMON SCORPION CRACKHEAD HES CLEARLY NOT THE PRIORITY ATM nvm clover deserved to die there m8

His death scene was emotional and I feel bad for Qrow but u literally sealed his death when u ganged on him with tyrian so why are you even surprised. And on the subject of fairgame, im glad it didnt happen. Qrow was in no state for romance and I was glad he finally had a friend. He just spent the last volume thinking he wasted his life away helping oz, drowning in misery, drinking til he passed out on the street and so drunk he couldnt even be of any help during the apathy situation, when up til now hes been shown to fight just fine while drunk. I don’t see this as a “bury your gays trope” because clover was never confirmed to be gay and all their scenes added up to 40 seconds of platonic friendship. These two are grown ass men, if they had the hots for eachother then im pretty sure they could openly show it and not dance around it like theyre kids. I do feel bad for mlm viewers who were hoping for some rep with fairgame/lucky charms (cuz rt only cares if ur a cute marketable lesbian) but idc for the overly entitled fans who try to force their own headcanons on the writers and go feral when they dont get what they want. You dont just get to prance around claiming whats canon and what isnt. If rep is there then great, but if it isnt, then why not look somehwere else and let the author tell the story theyre trying to tell? Shipping fairgame cuz you think its cute is absolutely fine but not when u start getting ready to casterate crwby for not catering to you. Also, rwby sucks with lgbt+ rep anyway so what were yall expecting.

The only thing that was great this episode was the chorerography. It just sucks that the animation/choreo continues to improve while the writing doesnt. Another thing that really fell off this episode was the whole “we’re friends but we have to fight” drama. It doesnt work when its only ONE SIDE SHOWING ANY DISTRESS OVER IT. Only the ace ops (marrow, clover, the vine dude) seemed to show distress over having to fight rwby (it sucks that the only 1v1 weiss has won was because marrow was going EASY on her cuz he didnt wanna fight her fr) but rwby???? They didnt give any shits. They were so quick to turn against them and aim for their heads. They were SMILING as they ran at the ace ops, while they looked conflicted. If you oppose their UwU philosophy, you’re dead to them.

I really wanna enjoy RWBY but sometimes this show (and the fndm) really tests me. Its ironic how this episode came right after last episode, which I thought was the best chapter this volume. Anyway I rate this 10/10 cuz it gave me best character ironwood and best boi marrow and I would like to give them hugs for carrying this volume on their backs. (Also tyrian and penny and winter have been great too)

#oof just oof #and idegaf about cinder yall #lowkey hoping she gets all the maiden powers so she can finally beat rwby up and HUMBLE them a little #rwby #rwby vol 7 #rwde

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ffuuuuuuuck · 5 years

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september 24, 2019

Today was such a bad day my thoughts kept pulling me in different directions- all of them bad

ended up skipping class today, thought about dropping out of school entirely like a lot

like, i know im capable of it and it’s not even hard, it’s just the looming fear of failing again like i did in my first highschool. I’m falling into the same patterns, it’s getting harder to maintain a positive mentality. it sucks because i was doing so good and then one thing sets me off and im back on my bullshit.

somehow writing it out makes me feel a little better, makes it feel like the thoughts aren’t all just stuck in my head.

my family helped today- my mom sang one direction with me in the car because i think she could tell I was on the verge of crying lol. That’s what she used to do with me in middle school and felt bad about the way i looked- it was cheesy and dorky but nice. she also took me to meet my baby cousin for the first time since she’d been born-5 months old and shes fat as fuck but also cute as fuck

i think i might just go back to spending time with my family again- it was easier than having to deal with friends. I love them, but i don’t feel the same with them anymore. it was different when i was into the same shit- smoking weed, doing drugs, doing nothing but walking around all the time. but now i’ve got school and work and actual responsibilities, and none of them seem to get that. Some of them even get mad because i cant spend as much time with them. I understand being upset, but it just makes me feel worse because i already feel worn thin. Plus, we dont really have anything in common anymore other than weed. Even that i’ve been trying to quit, but that’s all they ever wanna do and my lungs are all burnt out. And frankly, i like the feeling of being sober better than being high now.

I guess that’s the only thing me and Maurice had in common. When we first became friends, i was so happy to have someone like me. Into musicals, into anime, into all these dorky things my other friends weren’t into. but now its nothing but weed or talking about her ex boyfriend, or our friend bianca. I’m really glad her and bianca get along so well- i knew they would, i would always try getting all of us to hangout so they could get to know eachother more. But now it just feels like im on the outside. Whenever im with them they always just go off in their own space, talk about their own things that i can’t contribute because i wasnt there or not in on their inside jokes. I tried for awhile to just get used to it, because i shouldve been just happy that they were happy. But then they started hanging out without me all the time, and yeah, it makes me a little sad but no biggie it’s not like theyre my only friends. it feels like im not allowed to feel anything, like anything negative that i feel is just a sign that im getting bad again. But it hurts, like a lot. Bianca is always going on about stuff she told maurice, how maurice said that and that her and maurice always do this, and how great maurice is. Maurice is always saying how amazing bianca is and how much she loves her, how’re theyre gonna go do this and that. lately they started inviting me to hangout with them, but at this point it just feels more like pity than anything. Even when we’re all together, it’s like im intruding on their space. It just sucks. Like it’s not like i want to break them apart or anything, or for them to include me more. I don’t really want anything to happen, like im happy they get along. I just feel shitty about it. Even today, i found out something new about Bianca and yeah it was cool learning that about her but she threw in “really you didnt know? Maurice knows” and i dont know why but it stung. Probably because i was already feeling shitty today.

Maurice had asked me earlier in the day to hangout with them tomorrow- but it was only because it had come up in the conversation because i had told her about something concerning bianca. and honestly, i felt like i couldnt go on pretending anymore to be ok. so i told her that i didnt mean to sound like a dick but i didnt really like hanging out with the two of them together- but i still liked hanging out with them seperately. which, typing this out now i realize i really went the wrong way about this. It’s different when its just me and maurice and me and bianca, its not much different and nice. but when theyre together i just feel really crummy. i wanted to try to tell her that but she just told me “okay whatever i dont even wanna ask why.” and hasnt talked to me since. my mom said if they cared theyd understand, but im not sure i even went about it the right way, if there is a right way to tell your friends that. I told her what happened and she said that bianca would talk to me about it because my mom said that she definitely cares.

But when i told bianca about it, about maurice being upset with me and what i had said, all she said was how did they exclude me. That we played cards together that one time. That we had gone to go get hair dye that one time. I explained to her that yeah, when we went to go get hair dye it felt better because i was actually apart of their conversation. but the other times i just didnt feel like i belonged there with them. She wasnt upset about it like maurice was, but she seemed... i dunno, annoyed? not annoyed but like it was just me back on my bullshit. like it was all in my head. I think she did say it was all in my head. And after we left school a guy we knew was supposed to come with us, and she said “What, are you gonna feel excluded because Robbys coming?” in a really sarcastic voice. I just put in my headphones after that and actually did my homework. Because im supposed to be the chill one- im supposed to be the emotionless one, the one who doesnt let anything bother them because if i acknowledge that im hurt, then that means i could be getting unhealthy again. But fuck dude it did hurt. I barely tell my friends what I feel, and to be shot down like that, to be treated like i was just acting dumb again really hurt. especially because it wasnt like i was asking for anything to be different, other than me not wanting to hang out anymore. also especially coming from bianca. Out of all the people, i felt like i could count on her the most. I guess i was wrong again. Which sucks because its not like my brain goes to “ok they were a dick that time whatever”. When im not feeling good (aka when im not drugged out), my brain immedietely goes to wow what a dumbass trusting people again.

It didnt help that Quenten came to hangout today. I normally love seeing her, and everytime i see her she vents about her problems and i support her because i know she has a lot on her plate all the time. But today it just made things worse. She vented like usual and i tried to support her the best i could, but when i tried to talk about something that was bothering me she kinda just shut me down. Cut me off, started talking about her problems again. Usually she does that, but today it hurt because i really needed someone to talk to, and i thought we were that person for eachother.

Some shit went down with this Guy one time, and its kind of fucked me up. For awhile i tried my best not to let it get to me, tried staying friends with him and making the best of a situation because everyone told me that it wasnt that big of a deal. Not directly, but through their body language, the way they just change the subject, so i just believed that. Tried letting it go till eventually it built up inside me and blew up and left me feeling ruined. The other night i saw the Guy, and i had been doing so good, had been feeling happy and safe and just better. But he walked past me and it was like all of that just fell apart, i felt terrified again and unsafe and it was that feeling all over again, of not getting a choice, of not getting to have control, of putting my complete trust in someone only for it to be ruined. Anyways, its been leaving me fucked up for the past couple of days, and i just needed someone to talk to that wouldnt brush me aside. Im not sure why i thought that though. Quentin still thought highly of the Guy, still cared about his opinion i guess. its not like they were friends, but still. I shouldve known she wouldve blown me off when i tried talking about that situation.

I might need to see a counselor about it, because theres no one that i can even really talk to about it. I tried with this one girl, and she really helped me. But then it turned into a shit show because she outed the guy when i asked her not to, and one of my ex good friends came to me, and basically said i was making it up. when before we stopped being friends she believed me and understood why i got scared around the Guy. I guess that situation fucked me up too lol. But theres no one i can talk to, no one i can even bounce my thoughts off of. I wish i could talk to my mom about this. Sometimes she’s really good with this shit. But i know telling her about this will just make my life worse. Ill go to being looked at like some broken pitiful thing. Im not. I might be broken but im strong and i dont want to be pitied or someone to get mad in my place. I think some part of her already knows.

I think im done talking for today. Guess spilling my guts is too much too.

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headcanons-everywhere · 7 years

Conversation

the fuckingng

lovechild thing had me thinking

n it hit

hold

ok so

it hit

that this oc could be the tie between anita and https://puu.sh/wcwuc/e5aa2ddbae.jpg

that oc

bc ive wanted them to interact but never uh?? had a reason for em to??

BUT

im thinkin like

nghdg it sounds cheesy

but im thinkin

like, anitas backstory i hadnt figured out yet nor her home life until noW where she grew up with a younger sister who, while not being fully identical twins (ie: alexander n cher when they were younger), looked close enough that they could pass for eachother if they really tried, but grew up in a pretty split family situation

like, divorced parents kinda deal, anita living with their mother, this oc living with their father, etc and etc

so anita grew up around fame-based inspirations like fashion and stars she saw on tv n all that bc their mom was obsessed with that, like im talking "E News!" type shit n magazines on the latest fasion trends n gossip n so on

hence where her story kinda starts

but this oc grew up with their father who, admittedly i dunno much on yet

but

he either had some sort of military bg or a semi-shady lifestyle (hence the divorce)

or both, idk

but basically she grew up in the "rougher" side of the household life bc it's not really in the sense of being abusive or anything, but it definatly wasn't a soft gowns-n-crowns kinda home that anita grew up in

it was more "learning fluid self defense by age 12, handling her first gun at 14, wounding someone at 16 / 17--" and etc from there until shes where she is now

so while her sister is living in the life of glamour, riches and popularity

she has her own, well, "popularity" of sorts

but its mostly from becoming a leader of w/e mess shes in (idk if its gang or just misfit group or cartel shit or what yet lmao) n becoming a high enough rank as far as how people see her to occasionally interact with vendetta on what could almost be considered mutual respect

like theres still a huge gap between them level-wise as to how they talk n view eachother, but it's the closest anyones ever seen (n prolly ever will see) to vendetta meeting someone eye to eye rather than with a steal pipe to the base of the skull

n honestly anita n her don't have the greatest realtionship, never really did

but sometimes they do end up interacting every now n then, n thats where this ocs bridge between vendetta n anita happens :y

kinda like the heavier equivilent of "any friend of them is a friend of mine", but more like "this kid has actually earned a bit of my respect to where i probably won't gut her, so i guess you're ok too"

but idk why they'd interact just yet, still figurin that out

but ye :y

thats all i got so far aHA

rafails - 07/15/2017

hi my name is alex and this is my the parent trap adult swim remake pls like and subscribe

IM KIDDING THAT SOUNDS COOL THO

"whats wrong son" - 07/15/2017

THATS WHY I WAS CRINGING BC ITS LIKE "FUCK THEY EVEN KINDA LOOK LIKE IT TOO UGH:

rafails - 07/15/2017

iT WORKS

"whats wrong son" - 07/15/2017

but ty :,y

rafails - 07/15/2017

yEA

"whats wrong son" - 07/15/2017

:,,Dc

n o one more fact b4 i forget

that looked like a rlly sad "no" rather than "and oh" whoops

but anyways

rafails - 07/15/2017

hAh

"whats wrong son" - 07/15/2017

1 more fact - anita n her knew eachother existed n knew both of their parents n all that n the four of them would actually meet up on diff holidays to do stuff together, even if "do stuff" was having the parents argue / ignore eachother while anita n her awkwardly spent time together

like at one point they got in a fight when they were p young (like 7 or 8 i think) n she started pulling anitas hair n tryina fight her in general while anita was crying out of anger + being hurt n trying to fight back n all that

mom was inside reading a magazine, dad was basically lokey encouraging the fight to happen

rafails - 07/15/2017

ooh :y

"whats wrong son" - 07/15/2017

by the time it stopped anita went inside n was crying to mom like "__ hit me!! she hit me n pullled my hair i hate her!!" the mom was basically like "mm thats nice dear" n ignored her

but later when she actually saw anita's bruises n shit she was livid

not even with anita's sis tho it was all at the dad for basically being a piece of shit and not doing anything abt it n thats when he added fuel to the fire by pointing out she didnt do jack shit either while reading some "beverly hills house wives" type magazine for no reason

n so they started a yelling match n anita was freaked out n upset like, shes seen it happen before but it still bothers her whenever they do it

the sister was just bitter and pissed

like if they were in the room together anita would be trying to ignore it but crying while trying to rub at her bruises from earlier while the sister would just sit away from her, arms crossed n just kinda glaring at nothing in particular bc shes just tired and fucking Ready To Fight Again for no particular reason

so yeah

thats fun to think about (:

rafails - 07/15/2017

sHIT

DAMN MAN

"whats wrong son" - 07/15/2017

(((:

so anita grew up scared of fighting, this oc grew up knowing not much else aside from fighting

its a great blend really :)c

i lied 1 more bc i cant stop running with this idea at Full Fucking Speed but

theyd prolly meet up later in life (like young adult-ish, anitas fame just taking off while her sister's been gaining more talk / power in her own ordeal) n get bitter n she prolly tries to hurt anita somehow but anita immideatly catches her for it n either grabs whaever shes using or holds her in a way that leaves her defenseless or w/e to basically stop her from pulling That Shit(tm) again n shed just be like "haha wow, finally learn some fucking self defense did'ja?" while anitas just glaring at her coldly w/o saying anything bc shes just so done with her sister at this point

idk what happens from there tho lmao

but ye nOW thats all i got so fat aha

#anita #Modern Universe

0 notes

headcanons-everywhere · 7 years

Conversation

rafails - Today at 6:24 PM

so how's the drawing going

GingAle - Today at 6:24 PM

didnt add much

BUT

i have a backstory already

and

granted

its kinda cheesy n fuckingngg "omg i made this mary sue when i was 12 lol!!!" sounding but

im growin on it ngl

rafails - Today at 6:26 PM

tell :yc

GingAle - Today at 6:26 PM

the fuckingng

lovechild thing had me thinking

n it hit

hold

ok so

it hit

that this oc could be the tie between anita and https://puu.sh/wcwuc/e5aa2ddbae.jpg

that oc

bc ive wanted them to interact but never uh?? had a reason for em to??

BUT

im thinkin like

nghdg it sounds cheesy

but im thinkin

like, divorced parents kinda deal, anita living with their mother, this oc living with their father, etc and etc

hence where her story kinda starts

but this oc grew up with their father who, admittedly i dunno much on yet

but

he either had some sort of military bg or a semi-shady lifestyle (hence the divorce)

or both, idk

it was more "learning fluid self defense by age 12, handling her first gun at 14, wounding someone at 16 / 17--" and etc from there until shes where she is now

so while her sister is living in the life of glamour, riches and popularity

she has her own, well, "popularity" of sorts

n honestly anita n her don't have the greatest realtionship, never really did

but sometimes they do end up interacting every now n then, n thats where this ocs bridge between vendetta n anita happens :y

but idk why they'd interact just yet, still figurin that out

but ye :y

thats all i got so far aHA

rafails - Today at 6:44 PM

hi my name is alex and this is my the parent trap adult swim remake pls like and subscribe

IM KIDDING THAT SOUNDS COOL THO

GingAle - Today at 6:44 PM

THATS WHY I WAS CRINGING BC ITS LIKE "FUCK THEY EVEN KINDA LOOK LIKE IT TOO UGH:

rafails - Today at 6:44 PM

iT WORKS

GingAle - Today at 6:44 PM

but ty :,y

rafails - Today at 6:44 PM

yEA

GingAle - Today at 6:48 PM

:,,Dc

n o one more fact b4 i forget

that looked like a rlly sad "no" rather than "and oh" whoops

but anyways

rafails - Today at 6:49 PM

hAh

GingAle - Today at 6:50 PM

mom was inside reading a magazine, dad was basically lokey encouraging the fight to happen

rafails - Today at 6:52 PM

ooh :y

GingAle - Today at 6:53 PM

by the time it stopped anita went inside n was crying to mom like "__ hit me!! she hit me n pullled my hair i hate her!!" the mom was basically like "mm thats nice dear" n ignored her

but later when she actually saw anita's bruises n shit she was livid

n so they started a yelling match n anita was freaked out n upset like, shes seen it happen before but it still bothers her whenever they do it

the sister was just bitter and pissed

so yeah

thats fun to think about (:

rafails - Today at 7:02 PM

sHIT

DAMN MAN

GingAle - Today at 7:03 PM

(((:

so anita grew up scared of fighting, this oc grew up knowing not much else aside from fighting

its a great blend really :)c

i lied 1 more bc i cant stop running with this idea at Full Fucking Speed but

idk what happens from there tho lmao

but ye nOW thats all i got so fat aha

#black betty #modern universe

0 notes