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cybrpwup · 1 year

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ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴ || ʜᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇʏ ʀᴇᴀᴄᴛ ᴛᴏ ꜰɪɴᴅɪɴɢ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜱᴇʟꜰʜᴀʀᴍ

Warnings [DO NOT IGNORE!!]: heavy topics: self harm [cutting, burning, hitting, disordered eating] Summary: how the boys would react to your self harm Requested?; no !

## Isaacwhy <3

Isaac felt stupid for not noticing Y/n’s self harm tendencies before

He noticed it way before even realizing it was self harm

He’d catch her punching, hitting, or pulling her own hair out when stressed

He was concerned for her.

Even before he knew about the things she did behind closed doors.

But he never said anything to her

Blood dripped onto the floor, and her quiet sobs muffled the pillow she was holding against her face.

“Yo, Y/n, Nick wants to know if-“

His voice got closer, and Y/n’s breath sped up as he opened the door.

He’d seen her

He saw.

“What are you doing?”

He knew.

She was frozen expect for the tears that were rolling down her cheeks

He kneeled down next to the girl

“Y/n. There was no reason for this. Why?” He said, confused and angry that she’d done this to herself

“I’m sorry.” She managed to get out

Isaac then got back up, going into the bathroom cabinet for some bandages and a cloth.

He’d put the cloth under warm water, and then kneeled again, dabbing the wound with the cloth, gently.

“Don’t be sorry. don’t cry.”

He grabbed ahold of her chin and tilted her head to look at him

“I get you’re scared and upset, but there’s no need for this. I can help you. I want to help you.”

He was gentle as he bandaged her arm.

He didn’t quite understand why she would do this, but he tried to understand.

His first priority was her — his girlfriend

“I - I know I’m just- I’m tired, Isaac.” She sobbed.

He pulled her into his arms, his touch was warm and reassuring

He managed to get her up and onto the bed.

“I’m so fucking tired.”

He let her sob into his chest, her cries being muffled out

He did his best to calm her down

She’d been crying so hard her throat began to hurt, and she could barely breathe.

Isaac laid down next to her and rubbed her back.

“Hey, you’re okay.” He cooed

“You’ll be okay.”

He wrapped his arms around her without saying a word, letting her talk when she felt like it.

## softwilly/Nick <3

While it was fun for Nick to angrily defend himself when someone commented about his weight, it was not in truth something he cared about. As long as he had skin to keep his organs in and bones to hold the skin up, that was all that mattered to him.

It was Isaac who first pointed out that his girlfriend might not see it the same. Nick was not observant, but following that conversation, he tried a little harder, and he noticed some things.

Y/N refused to get changed in the same room as him or wear clothes that fit her properly. She also twice blew up at him for changing dinner plans as if it were his fault the restaurant was closed or too busy to seat them.

When Nick's hands fit easily around every body part, he caught on.

He'd catch her checking her stomach in every reflective surface and he could visibly see her ribcage.

When his hands fit so perfectly around her waist that’s when he really got concerned.

“You’re not eating as much as you should.” And there it was out in the open. Nick did not have time to even think how best to approach the topic before his concern overrode his rationale and took control of his mouth – spilling the words out messily.

She’d just shrugged, denying all claims of her eating habits.

“Baby, your waist is so small…”

She’d pulled her shirt down and pushed Nick's hand away.

She tried to tell him she was just working out, however he knew this was a lie.

She’d have at least some sort of muscle definition at this point

“Look at you, Nick. Look at your friends! Attractive, successful social media influencers. I’m not dumb. Ok? I know the type of women who get with guys like you – they’re graceful, camera-ready goddesses. They’re not fat.”

The last word broke off in her mouth and shattered against the floor. Tears sprung to her eyes, and she was quick to turn from Nick and wipe them with the back of her hand. All the while, her set jaw, and tense muscles worked to maintain her previous unfalteringly stern expression.

All Nick could muster amidst his bewilderment was a meek, “You’re not fat.”

“I know. Why do you think that is?”

“You don’t understand. You’re noticeably thinner. It’s enough that people are asking me if you’re alright. A quarter of the comments on the last video you were in are accusing me of like forcing diet pills down your throat or other bullshit. Even Tanner and Isaac and them have brought it up.”

It took another few moments for either to speak as it seemed the subject was dropped altogether.

The solemn silence between them broke

“I’m breaking up with you,” Nick said.

His hard-hitting gaze coaxed a temporary softness from Y/N. Her shoulders relaxed, even turning inward, a hesitant smile on her lips as she searched his face for the joke.

“That’s not funny.”

“I’m serious. If you refuse to get better, to even try, then I’m not going to be there while you make yourself worse.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Sure, I do. Bye, Y/N.”

Nick left the house angry

Y/N: alright, I get it, v dramatic. You made your point

…

Y/N: this is so stupid!

Y/N: don’t be a dick. text me back.

…

Y/N: you’re serious? All this over what 3kgs???

Y/N: Fuck you!! I don’t care I’ll go out by myself!

…

Y/N: answer the phone. Coward.

…

Y/N: must be hard to ghost me on every platform

…

Y/N: ok I get it

Y/N: isn’t 72hours a fair punishment? come by so we can make up.

Y/N: answer the phone.

…

Y/N: Nick, I get it. I’m not alright

Y/N: I’m sorry, Answer the phone, and we can talk, please!

…

Y/N: I need help

Y/N: I’ve made an appointment with a psychiatrist.

Y/N: she specializes in eating disorders.

Nick: When’s the appointment?

Y/N: Thursday @ 11

Nick: I’ll be at yours with the uber at 10. I’m sorry too.

## Tanner/Big T <3

It was Saturday.

Tanner was having trouble focusing on the beautiful woman snuggled up in his arms with her legs tangled with his. Nor could he concentrate on the film his laptop set up near them was playing. No. His mind was elsewhere – not that that was terribly unusual – thinking about one thing in particular: a thirteen-word (give or take) comment left under his most recent video.

“why does Y/N seem so nervous?? she pulls at her sleeves at 1:15 3:22 5:01 8:13 9:43 AND 9:59”

Tanner had not noticed Y/N being nervous in the video.

She sounded the same to him as she always had. Maybe it was odd she was wearing a hoodie when it was in the mid-to-high twenties all week but it was not that unusual – right?

Looking down at her, Tanner did not think she looked different or acted differently.

She was Y/N. In a hoodie. Pushing the sleeves down every time she shifted positions.

Or else he could see red marks on her arms.

Huh.

He watched her another moment. Sure enough, several open-ended oval marks were peeking out under her cuffs.

Tanner’s eyes fluttered to Y/N’s face and her hair.

She had two barrettes pulling her hair back, but beyond keeping it out of her face, their designs were chosen to match her outfit.

“What are you looking at?” she giggled, smiling at him.

Without a word, he reached for her hair and snatched a barrette, then in almost a single swooping motion pinned the accessory to the exposed skin of her wrist.

Perfectly matching the shapes – matching the burn marks.

“These are—”

With a strong but not unkind or rough grip, he took both of her wrists in his hands and pulled them forward so both of her arms were exposed.

She’d pulled at her bottom lip with her teeth as a wave of fresh hot humiliation washed over her

Each of her scars were laid out for him to see

She ducked her head down and braced for the oncoming string of harsh remarks

But they never came.

She clenched her jaw and tried to keep the tears from rolling down her face, but they did, and she almost felt betrayed by your body.

“I'm.. sorry," she managed to get out.

"No, you have nothing to apologise for," Tanner assured

"I hate this," She said as her sobs slowly started to trail off.

"I know, baby, I know. Me too," he replied.

Tanners actions were so gentle and full of love.

He gently kissed each scar and pulled her sleeves back down.

"It's ok, baby," he told her, pulling her into his arms again. "We will fight this, I promise."

"It's hard," she muttered into his chest.

"I know, I'm not saying it isn't.”

One day Tanner approached Y/n

"You know, when it all gets too much and you get that urge, you can hold an ice cube until it melts or wear a hair-tie or elastic band around your wrist and snap it against yourself."

"Tanner, have you been looking that up?" She asked him, wondering where this knowledge had come from.

"Maybe," he replied, sheepishly. "You're my main baby girl, I've gotta do what I can to protect you, even if its from yourself."

She couldn't help but giggle at his words. "Thank you. That means so much,"

Squeezing her tightly, he placed a kiss on the top of her head, knowing that for now there were no more words needed.

## Yumi <3

Yumi had walked in on Y/n after a session one time

hellooo, Y/n?” Yumi called, knocking on her door. “you there?”

She forgot about Yumi.

“Y/n?” he said, his voice slightly muffled through the door.

She stood upright, panic flowing through her veins.

“Blake? i’m sorry, i slept in!” She blurted

She sprinted into the bathroom, almost knocking the door down as she shakily removed any evidence of her prior activities.

“love? are you okay?” he said, his voice laced with concern.

“yes, i’m fine!”

the stains wouldn’t budge, where was the hydrogen peroxide?

“i’m coming in, okay?” Yumi said, making her rub the stains even more aggressively than before.

She pushed the bottle of blades to the back of the medicine cabinet, wiping the blood stains from the sink.

She needed to clean it— if Yumi saw…

“love?” Yumi said. he stood in the doorframe of the bathroom, eyeing the girls figure closely.

She looked up slightly and stared at him back through the mirror.

Yumi walked closer to her, wrapping his arms around her stomach and peeling her away from the sink. his breath was caught in his throat when he saw the blood.

“i had a bloody nose.”

The smile she wore to convince him did not reassure him

Yumi hummed, spinning her around to get a better look at her face.

He held her arms gently, as if the slightest bit of pressure would make her body break.

Still, the feeling of her sleeves pressing farther into the cuts made her wince.

Yumi was alarmed by this, looking into her eyes before looking down to her arms.

“love?”

She avoided his concerned gaze, moving to stare at the door instead.

His eyes widened when he saw the crimson red stains that littered her arms, where the blood soaked through the thin clothing.

Yumi let go of her arms hastily, covering his mouth with his hands.

She’d wrapped her arms around her stomach, backing away from him.

“i won’t force you to show me what’s under your sleeves… but i can’t help you if i can’t see them.” Yumi said carefully.

She nodded.

He wasn’t angry

Her heart pounded so loudly in her chest

“please don’t be mad..”

She winced when the fabric pulled at her wounds, the clotting blood having fused with the clothing.

bloody, wide, gory cuts littered her arms.

A broken gasp left Yumi’s lips once her arms were finally bared in front of him.

“I’m sorry,” she choked on the words.

Clinging to his shoulders, she let out a sob as she felt his body trembling. “Oh god, Blake, I’m sorry!”

He didn’t speak.

He couldn’t speak

He sat her down and rummaged through her medicine cabinet until he found what he needed.

Wordlessly, he tended to her wounds.

Although his touch was as gentle as possible, it still hurt when he cleaned them.

Her soft hisses of pain sent him over the edge and his tears finally began to fall.

He ignored them however, choosing instead to focus on the female and doing everything that he could to minimize her discomfort.

He wasn’t the type to cry so Y/n couldn’t help the guilt that flooded her.

Yumi had noticed the blank look in her eyes and knelt in front of her.

He held her tight as if she would slip away if he didn’t.

The warmth of his touch pierced through the haze that surrounded her.

“I’ve got you,” he murmurs reassuringly. “Just hold onto me.”

He deposited her gently onto the soft sheets of her bed before climbing in beside her.

His arms wrapped around her and pulled her close against his body

Brushing the hair away from the back of her neck, he pressed feather-soft kisses over the skin there.

“We’ll call a therapist in the morning,” the man says. “For now, you should get some rest.”

As much as she wanted to simply fall asleep, she hesitated. There was a worry still lingering in the back of her mind

“Blake? You… you aren’t going to leave me, right?”

The arms around her tightened as he let out a soft growl at the suggestion.

“Never,” he promised

“I’ll always be here for you, Y/n. I love you more than anything else.”

His words echoed in her mind over and over again as she finally fell asleep.

## Larry Croft <3

When Larry found out he rushed out of the room in a hurry

Y/n had thought it was too much for him so he’d left

She didn’t blame him

She found herself pathetic, too

But when he returned with a box of assorted bandaids,

Star Wars, SpongeBob, hello kitty themes etc.

She couldn’t help but laugh

Every time he’d put a bandaid on her arm he’d kiss it and reassure her

When they laid down together, he’d run her fingers up and down her arm, over the cuts that scarred.

or he’d give light pecks to the scars, which always made her heart flutter

“Y/n, please don’t hurt yourself.”

And she didn’t just for him

## Grunk <3

Y/n’s hands shook, running over several white and pink lines that marked the skin right above her knee.

She pressed her fist to her forehead, exhaling shakily as an unwelcome tear slipped its way down her cheek.

The marks were old, but they hadn't gone away, and each accidental glance at them brought back a wave of unwelcome memories.

She curled her legs into her chest and buried her face in her knees, waiting for Grunk to come back and distract her from her thoughts.

"Hey, I'm back!" Grunk jogged into the room, stopping suddenly when he saw the girls curled up position.

“Y/n?" His grin slipped into a look of concern as he ran over to her.

"Y/n, are you okay?"

She looked up at him, face slick with tears.

"I- I’m" she couldn't find her voice.

She shoved out her leg, shakily pointing at the scars.

"Oh," he said softly, gently running his fingers over the indentations.

He didn’t quite know how he should react

He was just a kid after all and she couldn’t help but feel guilty for getting him involved

"When are these from?"

“Long time ago," she whispered. "I know they're old but when I look at them I just - " she swallowed, shaking her head.

"I know."

Grunk pulled her into his chest, stroking her hair.

"I know, baby, I know." He’d kissed her head.

“Hey."

He pulled away, tilting her head up.

"I know how hard it is to look at them. But you know what? They're a sign. They're a sign of how far you've come, and how strong you've gotten, because even though you were once in such a low place you felt you had to do that, you're still here, and you're still thriving. I'm proud of you, Y/n, I'm so, so proud of you."

She let out a sob and buried her face in his neck. "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too. I love you so much."

## John/Kryoz <3

John had asked to see her cuts.

He didn’t stop to think about what reaction that could elicit

He regret saying it after he did

But she showed him her wounds/scars

He insisted on cleaning them up and bandaging them

He was very confused and concerned.

He'd heard about stuff like this but hadn’t really experienced it first-hand

He tried to take her feelings and mental state into consideration, but his brain was sometimes a little foggy with slight panic and confusion.

"Have you told anyone about this? i think you should get some help."