#but still! don't want anyone else in the club! membership is closed! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

red-umbrella-811 · 2 months

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Okay, so I wrote this on reddit to a depression doomer, but I want someone who might have an iota of openness to considering it to read it, so I'm posting it here. I assume there will be doomers here too, because depression is depressing. All of these things are things that I've tried, and all of them are things that have made my life better than it was before. All of them I have started in an incredibly janky way and they've still helped. If anyone is interested (or I receive the same combination of depression-based hostility and intense focus), I'll make separate posts on how to actually do the thing.

Things that might make a person's depression improve that don't involved going to a therapist:

Aerobic exercise 4x/week

Membership in a community/close relationships/human touch/human interaction. I'm bundling these together, because in a practical sense, you're making about the same decisions yourself, and the interactions with other people will follow. I recommend finding a "Third Place," such as a sports league or dance community (see exercise), game/knitting/metaphysical store, bar, cafe, meetup group, adult learning class, regular volunteering gig, music venue, RPG group, book club, brunch group...you get the idea. The best ones are open to the public if you're socially isolated or looking to date, because you'll meet a greater variety of people, but anywhere where the same amorphous or literal group of people shows up at a place and time will help you build relationships.

Omega 3 Fatty acids, Vitamin D, Vitamin B-complex, Magnesium: I'm not a doctor and this is not medical advice. They might give you energy and run your body more smoothly.

St. John's Wort: I'm giving this its own thing because the above are supplements that the body gets in its diet, this is a drug™, but you can purchase it over the counter. It inhibits the reuptake of serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine, for which there is some evidence that it helps depression on a chemical level. It has mad drug interactions and PLEASE do your research before taking it.

A lot of things in the cognitive behavioral therapy realm. Gratitude practices, affirmations, I'm sure there are CBT workbooks for depression that one could find. The idea is to reframe your thoughts to make sure they are a) true and b) priming you to feel emotions and take actions that will make your life suck less.

Going outside. Living in a suboptimal space is depressing, and so many of us do it. We do better when we see and hear trees. We do better when we see and feel the sun. We process things when our brains run electricity back and forth between the two sides, as happens when walking (drumming is also good for this, or bilateral stimulation from something else).

Accomplish things. I know. This, even more than the many difficult things I've listed, probably feels impossible, but I'm writing it anyway, because it really does help. If you have small tasks you've been putting off, try and get one done. Break up big tasks into accomplishable steps. Not like "Clean the house" to "Clean the bathroom," like "Clean the house" to "throw all the trash on the couch in the trash can" or "get out all the products to clean the bathroom" (the second kind doesn't vibe with me but some people like it)

You'll notice none of this is going to fix the world, except for the shitty little corner the person doing it is sitting in. That's the point. There is so much wrong with the world, and it asks a lot of us to fix it: our labor, yes, and also our joy. And also, our ability to get out of bed in the morning, our ability to send emails, our ability to check in on each other, our ability to keep ourselves out of entanglements with the state and other institutions. I'm not saying this because it's fair, I'm saying it because it's the way out I see in front of us.

#mental health #surviving capitalism #self care #exercise #(that's for a trigger tag)#herbal medicine #hope #hopepunk

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mr2swap · 2 years

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HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?

-HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME? YOU'RE A FUCKING SICK MY LIFE IS RUINED!- I couldn't contain my anger after finding out what my PE teacher did to my mom last night and worst of all he did it to my body.-

In front of me was Mr. Jones My high school PE teacher, it was weird having to yell at my body like that after all he and I swapped bodies for the power of a magic stone he used as a paperweight on his desk. -I… I'm sorry Kevin, it's just that now I have all these hormones and I'm so horny all the time that I just couldn't control myself, besides, your mother wants it..-

-DON'T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT MY MOTHER! AFTER YOU FUCKED UP!, NOW GET OUT AND I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN! - Mr. Jones stood up and without looking me in the eye walked towards the exit in silence and closed the door behind him.

After he got out I felt so much relieved, it was so hard having to pretend that I cared that what Mr. Jones had done with my "mom" she's not even my real mother she's just the girl my father was with. It's been out for years, damn they're not even married, I opened Mr. Jones's desk drawer and there were still all the pieces of the stone that I accidentally broke when I was playing with it.

I have to admit at first I thought it sucked having to become a middle-aged man but Mr. Jones's life is great! Breaking that strange stone into hundreds of pieces was the best thing I could do in my entire life. From Mr. Jones's perspective I can see that I was destined for failure, I used to live in a trailer with my father and two older brothers who were failures, but now I have my room, fuck now I can walk around the house completely naked without anyone tell me not a damn or bother me.

I have my own house my fucking car I even have the admiration of all my former teammates and the whole school adores me. Sure, teacher pay sucks, but when I tried to figure out how Mr. Jones had his sports car, a huge house, and a collection of shoes and clothes that cost more than my old house, I discovered his little secret.

Who would have guessed that the well-respected PE teacher leads a double life as a Striper at the strip club across town? well, I guess it makes sense I'm really handsome now and all these women want me. it's a little awkward for me to have all these middle-aged women touching my butt and slipping bills into my underwear.

I'm thinking of applying to another nightclub, I heard on the internet that they are doing interviews in the downtown gay club and the pay is much better.

Another advantage of not being the pathetic teenager I was a few weeks ago is that I don't have to worry about coming out, damn I'm a real middle-aged man and nobody has the right to tell me what to do with my fucking life.

Mr. Jones can have my old life with my pimply face and the beating my father will give him for fucking his girl because I'm not going back to my old life, for now, I've put the pieces of the stone together and I'm I can almost certainly switch our bodies back if I put the pieces together, but Mr. Jones doesn't have to know about that now.

This is one of the stories I posted last month on my patreon, if you like my stories and want to see more of my stories before everyone else on Tumblr take a look at my patreon account where I'm much more consistent posting.

#bodyswap #body swap #male body swap #body switch

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shitty-check-please-aus · 2 years

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I am increasingly afraid that I may be a Hallmark movie protagonist

I am a woman who is from a Very Small Town living in a Very Big City

Used to love Christmas but is growing increasingly upset by the whole concept due to family issues surrounding the holiday- e.g. me getting too sad tonight to watch my favorite Christmas movies alone in my room on my laptop

Single as a jingle bell, too busy to find love

The biggest issue is that I don’t think I’m successful enough in my career at this point to need to be lured away to live on a christmas tree farm or whatever.

I swear if next year is another sad and difficult holiday I better get a whirlwind romance out of it

#if tumblr fucks up the formatting there should be bullet points #I'm too sad to watch Elf or the Muppet Christmas Carol #that is some Hallmark movie protagonist shit right there #also I need there to be no more member of the Holiday Death Club in my family #my grandmother got labor day my grandfather was juuust early enough to valentine's day to have the funeral that day #this sounds like a joke but a lot of family members have died on holidays so we call it the Holiday Death Club #someone has Thanksgiving for sure and I'm 90% sure someone has Christmas #the point is that I really don't want anyone I love to die on Christmas #but it is a possibility #I know it's statistically a thing where people do tend to hang on to life until birthdays or holidays #and these were all old people who died of natural causes #but still! don't want anyone else in the club! membership is closed!#if you saw me post this with i.e. instead of e.g. no you didn't <3

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absentlyabbie · 5 years

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thx for reblogging the thing about being bi. I always wondered if I was, but bc of personal choices did not want to have sex w/o a forever commitment and ended up marrying the best man ever. I figured the bi thing didn't count for me, even tho I've been married for 14 yrs and am still attracted to women. Not in an adultery way, more of a "appreciate Jason Momoa AND Emily Bett Rickards" kind of way. I don't think im going to "come out" but your post made me feel more whole. Like my brain is ok.

Oh honey, that is just. Incredibly wonderful, and I’m really happy for you? And extremely touched to have been able to help you find that little piece of surety.

Being bi isn’t about who you “choose”, or what you’ve experienced or haven’t. It’s about you. It’s about your attractions. How you feel, and how different genders make you feel. You don’t have to have checked off a certain number of bisexual actions to “count” as bi, nor do you miss a cutoff or expiration date for claiming your bisexuality if you settle with a person of one gender without having taken action on your attraction to another gender.

I mean, you know all of that. It’s just that so much of our culture makes it difficult to believe in. I spent most of my life convinced I was straight because it was set as the default and I was, in fact, attracted to guys. And I spent a really long time saying I “wish I was bi” because I connected much more easily and often more deeply with women, and because nothing I’d ever encountered had ever allowed me to believe that I was allowed to experience attraction to different genders in different ways.

I’ve never been in a relationship with a woman. I’ve never had a sexual encounter or even close to, not really, with a woman. A lot of people, including a lot of LGBT+ people, would leverage those facts about me to insist either that I’m not actually bi, that I’m just trying to seek attention or co-opt oppression by putting myself as “gay adjacent” without having “earned” it, or even that my lack of experience coupling with my sexual identification is somehow proof that bisexuality doesn’t even actually exist, isn’t real and is just a state of confusion or lying or transition.

But even though I could say that my experiences with men are pretty similar to my experiences with women (limited), no one would ever take that information and go “AHA!!! See! You’re not really attracted to men, you’re just lying or confused!!!” Before I realized that I do in fact experience multiple attraction, no one would have used that info to try to invalidate or undermine my ID as straight. They would have taken me at my word because attraction =/= experience and people only pretend not to understand that when they can leverage it to invalidate someone’s identity.

It’s a load of bullshit. And it surrounds us. And I’m sorry you spent so long feeling like you weren’t allowed to be bisexual because of your choices and experiences, because of what we all absorb from the culture around us. I’m sorry I did too.

Your brain is okay. You are okay. Let your knowledge of who you are make you happy and feel more secure and self confident. It doesn’t change that you’re married to a man you’ve been wonderfully in love with and dedicated to for 14 years. It just means you know yourself a little better. And I think we all want to know ourselves better.

You don’t have to come out, not to anyone. It’s not a requirement for queerness or bisexuality or the membership fee for being allowed to be part of the LGBTQ+ community. Being bisexual is all about you. Some of us want to be out about it, and benefit from that greatly. Some of us aren’t safely able to. Some of us just don’t want to. Some of us are just private people, and are content with our self knowledge. It’s our business. It’s nobody else’s if we don’t want and choose to share it with them.

I’m just really happy for you. I hope you find yourself smiling softly at nothing and just feeling a little more settled today. Welcome to the club.

(PS: Jason Momoa and EBR are both fantastically gorgeous and you have great taste.)

#bisexuality #bisexual #bi #on being bi #Anonymous #asked and answered

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mommingwithlupus · 4 years

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7 Reasons to Exercise at Home

I used to go to the gym and honestly I love the gym atmosphere, but nowadays it's not for me with my schedule and family life. I used to go with a friend and sometimes alone before I had my second child. My son was old enough to leave him home and the gym membership was only $25 per month. Not too bad and I had time after work to join in on classes and even extra cash to pay for a personal training group for another $120 per month. Well, once I had my second baby I no longer had all these luxuries. Not only did I now have to pay for the new cost of daycare and diapers, I also couldn't find the time to get to the gym. The few times I tried, the Kids Club would call me to come get my crying breastfed baby so I could nurse her. My workout would get interrupted because she was so attached to mom and I couldn't be gone for 20 mins without her having a meltdown. I decided to try a new routine and exercise at home. I'm so glad I did! Now that I have 3 kids, I can't see myself doing anything else. Exercising at home makes life so much easier for me and there are so many apps and streaming methods that can be used these days that anything I need is available somewhere.

Here are the reasons working out at home is the best option for me as a mommy of 3 and a lupus warrior:

Available Any Time- Whether you are an early riser and want to exercise before the kids wake up or you wait until the afternoon or evening to fit in your workout, your home is always there and so is whatever streaming method or app you like to use. I have tried so many times to wake up early, but I just can't seem to stay consistent with it so I exercise during my lunch break and/or as soon as I get off work.

Pause Button- Exercising with the kids around can be tough sometimes. One is calling for you to wipe her butt from the bathroom, the other is crying because she dropped a toy, and another is asking if he can go to his friends house. They all see your obviously busy, but kids will be kids. For the things that can't wait like diaper changes and toddler booboos, there is the magic pause button. Push pause, take a few minutes to do what you need to do, and come back. The workout won't go on without you and you won't miss a thing.

Judgement Free Zone- Going to the gym or taking a group class can be hectic and you may feel uncomfortable around others that may be more physically fit or advanced in the class. At home there is no judgement. You can go at your own pace and don't have to feel anxious about trying to keep up with others. As long as you stick with it you will get better and stronger every time! Don't feel discouraged if the trainer on the video does 25 reps and you only did 15. They can't see you and are just there to motivate you and keep you going. Write down your reps and push for more next time. Watch your progress and eventually you will be up there with the rest of them.

Several Options- There are so many apps and streaming options available. I love this because I can plan my workout based on my day and how I'm feeling physically. If I know I won't have time for a long workout because my son has a football game or we have dinner plans with friends, I can choose a workout that I can fit in during my lunch break or quickly after work. Or if I'm feeling drained and low energy I may want to do yoga or another light workout. Is the weather nice out and you don't want to stay indoors, there are plenty of apps for timing your run or incorporating some outdoor strength training. Here are some of the programs and apps that I recommend:

BeachBody On Demand- This is my personal favorite! There are so many choices. They offer high intensity workouts, strength training, pre and post-natal, dance, yoga, and more. If you don't like one, try another. Plus they also have nutrition guides and discounts on their Shakeology products.

5K Runner- This is similar to a couch to 5k app. If you have a goal to build your endurance, but haven't ran in who know how long this is a great app to help you get started. When I started using 5k Runner that first week of only running one minute at a time was brutal, but now it's a piece of cake. The app tracks your distance, maps your track, counts calories burned, and gives you little motivational shout outs during the run (you can turn that off if you're not into that).

You Tube- There are so many videos out there that can be streamed from the comfort of your home and You Tube is a free way to get access to fitness videos. Just search what you feel like doing that day and there's a video for it. I recommend looking into credentials of whoever the video is from though. You don't want to take fitness advice and workouts from someone that doesn't have the experience and knowledge that they should and could potentially cause your body more harm than good.

Map My Run- I'm a runner and love to join fun runs and 5k races when I can. This app helps me to track my time and maps the area I running in case I want to save the track for another run or share with my friends. The app will tell you when you have hit a mile and tell you your time and pace during the run making it easy to set goals and know how you should do next time. I love the motivation from seeing my other friends using the app and we cheer each other on when posting our run stats for the day.

Saves Money- Exercising at home means you don't have to spend the money on a gym membership, personal trainer, or the added childcare cost. Most apps and streaming methods are free. BeachBodyOnDemand is either $100 for a whole year or $10 per month. Much cheaper than a gym membership. Equipment is not always required and if there is a workout that you want to do that requires equipment, you usually have the option to purchase either from the video provider or anywhere they are sold. There are plenty of workouts that do not need any equipment and you still get amazing results.

Time Saver- The commute to the gym or class alone could be a reason you don't make it to the gym. You worked all day, then drive to the gym, change, exercise for 30 mins maybe an hour, change again, drive home and then do whatever else your night has in store. That's only if you don't also have to pick up the kids, drop them off at the kids center, and pick them up again. Exercising at home could cut off up to an hour of this time. You simply get home from work, get changed and pop on your video or app. When you are done, you're done. Already at home, can jump in the shower or get dinner started right away. You can do whatever you want with that extra time. My 4 year old is usually in daycare (before the quarantine-now shes home every day) until 6:30. I get off work at 4:30, can start exercising by 5:00, work out for 30 mins-1 hour depending on how I'm feeling, and then go pick her up or start dinner while my husband picks her up. I don't have the stress of running around. When I went to the gym, class didn't start until 5:30 so I had to rush from work to daycare, take her with me to the gym, then rush home after so we don't eat dinner at 10 pm.

Example to your loved ones- You are exercising at home. Your children see you, your spouse sees you, your friends may see you, the neighbors, anyone in the area close to you. Just doing this alone is motivation for them to live a fit life. My teenage son refuses to exercise with me, but he has started exercising at home on his own and has been motivated to be healthier. My 4 year old daughter will join in on workouts she noticing me doing that look fun like dancing and yoga. I tell her I'm exercising to be strong and healthy and now she goes around always talking about how she is strong and healthy because she exercised with mommy. It's a lifelong impression for the betterment of your children. They develop a healthy habit that will last with them in their future and go on to your grandchildren and theirs. Even if they don't want to jump in with you, you are still inspiring them to live a healthy and fit lifestyle just by them seeing you doing so and the benefits it has for you.

As a mom of 3 and also battling with lupus, exercising at home has been the very best thing for me. My schedule is managed better, it helps as a stress reliever, saves me time and money, and I can take better care of myself and my family. I feel great and have more energy. On days when I feel drained and fatigue is taking over, I can take a day of rest and my workout will still be there tomorrow waiting for me to press play. I won't miss a class and fall behind and I'm never running late. I stay motivated because my family sees my progress and how much it helps me and I cannot let them or myself down. I work on myself so I can be a better example and a better mom overall for my family. You can make your schedule any way that you would like. Start slow and build yourself up to where you want to be! It's all in the palm of your hands and in the comfort of your own home. You're already there, just jump up and get started!

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