#but this is very outside of my comfort zone for character design and I’m terrified of designing anything without some kind of experience

[hannahfaulder]

Final Evaluation (Unit 2: Title Sequence)

Going into this final project, I really wanted to do something outside my comfort zone. This seems to have been my mantra over the past academic year, as I’ve taken this opportunity - being in a creative arts university - to really utilise all the resources at my disposal and try new methods and styles to expand my knowledge of design.

I think that this unit perhaps lent itself more to venturing outside the box as it involved animation and moving picture. I love cinema as a medium: I’m fascinated by seeing how a simple storyboard eventually evolves into the final moving picture. I’ve admired the whole media from a distance, I’ve read about it and talked about it and participated in workshops, but I’ve never dared to touch animation. I was terrified of it. And I feel my main objective going into this project was to create an engaging, visually interesting piece of animated work: which I believe I have accomplished.

As for visuals, I was heavily inspired by one of my favourite graphic designers and filmmakers: Saul Bass. The father of modern movie title sequences, he worked with the late greats of Hollywood and cinema titans, and his philosophy of style is substance is something I connect with in my own work. His multimedia career and bold design choices really inspire me to be ambitious, and it was from researching is work more closely that I came upon the idea of stop motion animation.

From this point, I began researching the cut out animation style of Terry Gilliam from his Monty Python days. I was also inspired by the title sequence for one of my favourite modern TV shows: Love, by Judd Apatow. I really loved (pun intended) the simplicity of the title sequence, the humour of it, and I appreciated the amount of thought and care that was behind the animation. This extra research helped me define the style and tone of my sequence, as well as refine my initial, very chaotic storyboarding.

Chaotic is the word to describe the beginning of this project: I felt I had too many ideas and no way of clarifying them, and shaping them into a clear end product.

I’ve also had allot of problems with motivation over the course of this project. This is a problem I’ve had all my life, and something I’m constantly improving upon, however it’s sometimes incredibly difficult to overcome. Due to the current outbreak of COVID-19, these final projects have been under allot of stress and restriction. Although this was a setback, I am incredibly proud of the work I’ve produced in the time and conditions given to me.

Time management is another one of my downfalls, and seeing as days are blending together and my nights have become my days, I was able to eventually get my time schedule under control and began producing work and meeting deadlines on time. This is something I’m also constantly improving upon.

As for the core animation, I had some initial technical problems with After Effects; however, once I had fixed these issues, I seemed to work full steam ahead. There were some minor changes to the animation as it developed: mainly to runtimes, depth and tone. I had originally wanted my work to be aimed at teens to young adults with a dark comedy edge, however I ended up fully embracing the more ridiculous and silly aspects of my chosen text.

My idea was to create a fun, colourful and entertaining title sequence drawing on the imagery given to the reader by Neil Gaiman in the original text (The Day the Saucers Came): there’s undead, aliens, intelligent kitchen appliances, vikings, faeries, genies, giants and killer bees. I felt that capturing these characters in this light was a good way of solidifying the tone and theme without alluding to or revealing any of the plot elements. It also meant that I could be more outlandish with my illustration style, and I feel this fits well with Gaiman’s work and personal style on whole.

Moreover, there are things I would revisit if I ever came back to this project. From small things, such as wanting to animate the rainbow in one of my scenes but failing to find a way of doing this and eventually deciding to prioritise other aspects of the project, to bigger elements of my work process such as motivation and time management, and overall improving my animation skills. However, going forward I feel I now have a better understanding of moving image and a stronger grasp on how to use After Effects.

Overall, I feel I have created something that is visually interesting - using animating skills and programmes (After Effects and Premier Pro) that I had little to no experience with prior to this project - and I have successfully met the brief. I think that my title sequence engages the audience immediately: the visual style and music work very well together, which in turn works to create a strong theme. I have accomplished what I originally set out to create at the beginning of my unit, and although there is still a great amount of improvement to be done, and I’d personally like to build upon my skills in After Effects and Premier Pro, I am proud of what I've produced.

[pcnnydime]

I’m Leaving Tumblr.

  Dramatic? Probably, but it’s come to my attention (again, and again, and again) that a great number of people feel uncomfortable in my presence, so I’d rather the title sum up the post. You can read this and try to see things from my point of view, or you can move on with your lives. Either way, I hope this doesn’t cause much drama for anyone not involved, and I hope everyone regardless of involvement has a good day/night.

First, I apologize if this post seems robotic, but after countless anxiety attacks , multiple lost friends, and a few instances of self harm due to everything that’s been happening around me, I find myself lacking the emotional energy to put more ‘pep’ or ‘enthusiasm’ into this post. I’ve been on Tumblr since Red Thread was at its peak, however many years that may have been, and roleplaying, meeting people here, and developing characters that mean the world to me has helped me grow as a person. It brought me out of a near 2 year long depression that included an extremely abusive relationship, being left behind by all my close local friends, and a failed suicide attempt. Writing on tumblr introduced me to my best friend, many dear friends, and my current romantic partner. It’s seen me through a really tough job, two cross-country moves, and some of my worst and lowest points. But with the word ‘racist’ following me at every turn, I no longer feel welcome or supported by what was once my favorite hobby and best coping mechanism.

The reason being labelled a racist has effected me so deeply is because I come from a multi-racial home. I am half Puerto Rican, one quarter African American, and one quarter white. I have tan skin, very hispanic features, and very curly, thick hair with dark brown eyes. I don’t look white. I grew up in a rural area where I was one of very few people of color in BOTH of the schools I attended, and I’ve never lived in very diverse areas in all my 21 years. I don’t believe I was treated any differently because of it, I never had any race-specific issues in my childhood, and I’m very lucky because of that. Sure, I’ve had a few ‘playful nicknames’ but nothing that ever hurt me as much as being bullied about my height, weight, or chest size.

My Grandmother is white and my Grandfather is black - they got together in the 60′s and dealt with a great deal of prejudice and hardship due to being an interracial couple. They and my mother raised me to look past what people look like on the outside - weight, height, gender, age, race, religion - they believe, and I believe that it shouldn’t matter. People should be judged and valued or ignored based upon their personalities. In a near-perfect society, that’s how everyone would feel, but ours is far from perfect. People of color are faced with violence, hate, and even murder on a daily basis all over the world - not just in America - and by no means has it ever been my intent to diminish that, I simply am deterred by conflict because it hurts me to see. 

Now that I’ve described myself, the way I’ve been affected, and my views on race and in/equality, I will explain my experience as a “racist”. For months, I’ve been blocked, shunned, and ignored due to this. I spent MONTHS not knowing why people were blocking me, why all of a sudden people I had been writing with and even admired for their graphic and literary skill were suddenly ignoring me and treating me like I was less than a stranger.

Because no one told me.

Not until sometime around perhaps September or October, when someone was finally kind and considerate enough to step out of their comfort zone and inform me that I’d made a comment about Black Panther without thinking about my wording. On Twitter, I said something to the effect of ‘Black Panther has too much black power for me’, something along those lines. What I should have said was: Black Panther was a good movie, and I liked Killmonger as an antagonist until he began building a highly advanced army of thousands of near-superpowered warriors and devastating militaristic technology to declare war on what was clearly intended to be Caucasians as a race. At that point, I became uncomfortable because racial war of any kind isn’t something I would have paid money to see in a theatre, had I known it was going to be included. But I didn’t say that because twitter has a character limit, and I didn’t think anyone wanted to read an entire thread of my review of what was, all in all, an excellent movie.

Another individual recently followed suit and gave me a few more examples of why people believe I’m racist and discriminatory.

1. I’ve used the “n” word on multiple occasions.          This is not true. I am incredibly uncomfortable around the use of that word, in any form, even it’s reclaimed version. I don’t like it. I don’t know where or when I would have used it before, but even as someone who is African-American and has multiple African-American family members who say it ‘affectionately’ to refer to each other, I have not EVER said that word. Not as a joke, and certainly not as an insult.

2. I hold people who speak English as a secondary, third, or otherwise language to a higher standard than those who do not.

       No. If anything, it’s the opposite. I strongly admire and respect anyone who speaks more than one language, as someone who only speaks English and very broken Spanish. I formerly had an RP partner whose first language is Spanish, and is very proud of their heritage. My father, who I’m no longer in contact with due to estrangement and abandonment, primarily speaks Spanish and I had no quarrel with him because of that.      Some contradictory things you may have read can be found here and here. These are screenshots from the rules page on an old blog of mine that I would rather not explicitly name, for the sake of privacy for people who used to interact with me. In these screenshots, I say “[Does] Understand that English is not everyone’s first language. It’s okay if you have some errors with grammar or spelling, as long as you’re making the best effort that you can.” perhaps that can come off as me saying ‘you have to try really hard if you want to write with me’, but in fact, it just meant that I wanted some manner of effort to be present. I.E., if I write 2 paragraphs, at least write one in response, rather than a single sentence. Could I have worded that better? Absolutely. But since realizing that can be perceived incorrectly, I removed it from my rules page entirely to avoid offending anyone.

        In the other screenshot, I mention not tolerating anyone who is ‘cis or heterophobic’. This ties back into my ideal of not seeing people for who they are on the outside, but rather, who they are on the inside. I’ve had great friendships with people who were either cisgendered, heterosexual, or both, and it upsets me to see all the jokes about ‘down with cishets’ and the hate that the LGBT+ community sends their way. I understand that being a ‘cishet’ doesn’t put them in any ‘legitimate’ danger like being LGBT+ does, but it doesn’t feel good to be judged for being LGBT+, so it doesn’t seem right to judge ANYONE based on sexuality or gender without personal experience. If someone has been repeatedly hurt, offended, or otherwise wronged by individuals of those designation, I understand, but mob mentalities frighten me. 

I’ve apologized for these accusations, and explained my reasoning and my ‘side’ behind them, and there’s one last thing I’d like to address. My being perceived as acting like a victim. This, I can’t contest. Perhaps I have been overly dramatic over this hole thing. Roleplay is a hobby, at the end of the day, and while it may not be a great one, I do have a life outside of Tumblr and Twitter. What I don’t have, however, is friends. My only friends are miles and miles away, and they’re few and far between. The ones I did have began telling me I was a racist, to me, seemingly out of nowhere. I had no clue when these things began to spread because again, I wasn’t confronted. I’ve lost two people I consider to be good friends, and I’ve been doing my best to keep to myself ever since. I stopped reaching out, out of fear that people would find me obnoxious or abrasive, not knowing how far my reputation had spread. The absolute last thing I wanted was to hurt anyone, so when I vented to my friends I asked them not to make a big deal out of it. I didn’t want them with the label as well. I didn’t want to see them ostracized, or to be the reason they lost a hobby they enjoyed. When one of them went against my wishes and said something on their blog, it was deemed ‘public drama that didn’t belong on the dash’ and I was TERRIFIED that they would end up losing the chance to interact with others. Thankfully they didn’t, but that’s the example I have. No, something like that didn’t necessarily belong on the dash, but they were simply trying to look out for me while watching me have an anxiety attack and contemplate dropping all of my muses and completely deleting all social media. I’ve moved twitters multiple times due to trust issues this whole ordeal has caused for my own mental health. I’ve hidden behind locked accounts because the thought of people who are triggered by public drama having to see something of this scale was at the forefront of my mind. In short, if it seemed as though I was playing the part of a victim, it’s because I have, for months, been confused and hurt without understanding what was going on. When I tried to move past it and remedy my mistakes, I was pushed away and hurt even more by people I called friends.

To sum the entirety of this long post up, I’m upset. Far more upset than perhaps I’ve conveyed here, because I’m doing my best to remain logical and fair. I understand why anyone who has heard these things about me would block me and would want to avoid contact - I wouldn’t want to interact with a racist either. But I’m not a racist. I’m not judgemental. I’m open-minded to a fault, it seems, and my ideal of perfect equality is unrealistic in the world we live in full of murder and segregation. If anyone would like to talk to me in more detail about anything they’ve read here, they may do so at my open twitter which is solely for responding to inquiries about my reputation, my tumblr blog here, which will no longer be active, or my personal discord, which is mad dog!#6346 .

There are likely many issues I forgot to address, or simply don’t know about, but I’d like to thank anyone who read this far. Your attention means more to me than I can express.

#racism tw #segregation tw #murder tw #prejudice tw #self harm tw #suicide mention tw #attempted suicide mention #suicide tw #homophobia mention #war tw #anxiety tw #anxiety attack tw #n word mention #n word tw #anxiety mention #supremacy tw

[anotherdayinchuckletown]

Stay

(A/N: Before y’all ask, I have no clue what this is. It wasn’t a planned WIP, this honestly just spilled out of me after I answered that one ask about Wonka being cat-called, even though they seem completely unrelated at a glance. It’s a totally different style for me, which involved very little editing/polishing. That means it’s a huge step out of my comfort zone. Reading it back to myself, though, I’m actually quite proud of it! I hope y’all enjoy it!!

- <3 Katherine)

Summary: A slight Wonka character study, detailing four times when Eliza stayed. (angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, implied nsfw at the end)

—–

Willy Wonka maintains that there is nothing wrong with his suggestion that Charlie drop out of school. He asserts that there is no subject in which he cannot teach his protege everything he needs to know. Noah and Helen Bucket seem significantly less confident in that notion.

Dr. Weber is the compromise.

Apparently, Noah Bucket has a coworker who has a friend who has a son who studied under Dr. Weber, and his coworker’s friend’s son claims that Dr. Weber is a genius. So now it falls upon Wonka to ascertain both whether or not she is a genius and whether or not she is trustworthy enough to enter his factory. His world, his lifeblood, his soul.

Dr. Weber is intelligent, all right. Somewhere in the recesses of his mind, he also registers that she is rather attractive, although he’s not sure why it registers at all. Her eyes are world-weary, piercing straight through him as they converse just outside of the library.

He thinks she is so different from him until she opens her mouth and rattles on for what seems like an hour about her work in designing a gas turbine with a thermal efficiency of eighty percent. Then, he knows that they are kindred spirits. He decides that is much worse, much more dangerous.

Despite being kindred spirits, she is in fact the perfect teacher for Charlie. He says, “I’m so terribly sorry for taking up so much of your valuable time, but I have one more important matter to discuss with you. Could you possibly stay just a few minutes longer?”

“Yes, I can stay,” she answers without hesitating. “Before we move on…I don’t believe you have told me your name.”

That is no accident or oversight on his part. Rather, it is his curse. Once a person knows his name, knows who he is, the timer is set. When time runs out, when his usefulness to that person runs out, that person leaves. It has happened with every single person in his life, save for the Bucket family—his family, he reminds himself sternly.

Dr. Weber does not yet know him. And for now, Dr. Weber tells him that she can stay.

—–

Instead of Dr. Weber, she insists on being called Eliza. He doesn’t mind that.

She also insists on calling him Mr. Wonka. He does mind that (even though he never says so) because she is nearly thirty, and he is not that much older, he’s really not. Forty isn’t too old to have spent nearly half of his life completely and utterly alone and only recently realized he may have some minor regrets about that.

In any case, Eliza has only been working at the factory for a few months, and she is already his best employee. She has the advantage of height over the Oompa-Loompas, and she seems never to wear out. Splitting her day between tutoring Charlie, lending a hand around the factory, and continuing to lecture at the university, it’s quite miraculous how she manages it all.

He is fairly certain she only pretends to. The deepening bags under her eyes tell him as much. Yet, her concentration never wavers, not even as he is looming over her hunched form, and she is working on balancing that ledger as though her life depends on it.

“The sun went down two hours ago,” he speaks up suddenly.

With a startled gasp, she nearly drops her pen. Meanwhile, he is grinning unapologetically—it’s amusing, forcing her to break character every so often.

Adjusting those oversized glasses, she consults her wristwatch. “Ah, I…hadn’t noticed.” Guiltily, she adds, “I’m not keeping you, am I?” Her hand resumes its writing.

“Not at all, my dear lady!” He catches the way her hand stutters at the word “dear” and chastises himself. “…How long do you plan on staying?” he asks, fearing the answer.

As expected, she spectacularly misjudges the nature of his inquiry. “As long as I am needed, Mr. Wonka,” she tells him without looking up from her work.

The timer ticks loudly enough to keep him awake all through the night.

—–

He is so hopelessly deep that Eliza is now living inside the factory. She lives there, she spends time working and chatting with him in his private suite, she has resigned from her position at the university, and she smiles much, much more often than she did months ago.

Their friendship is easy and natural now, rough as the road leading up to it had been. She has slowly and carefully lured him down that path—albeit unintentionally, oblivious as she is.

Against his better judgment, he has allowed himself to be lured. And the farther along the path he strays, the louder the ticking timer. Each tick, tick, tick in perfect synchronization with his heartbeat, accelerated because she is smiling at him.

That smile drops when her phone rings.

Although she has excused herself to his bathroom, he can still hear her words becoming more and more clipped as the call progresses. He has never heard that tone from her before, yet it’s one he recognizes well.

It’s his own tone during the rare calls his father gives him.

Eliza bursts back into the living area, visibly distressed. She hastily begins gathering her things, saying it was a silly disagreement with her former foster mother and that she’ll return to her own room immediately.

She even apologizes for ruining his evening with her dramatics. Even though she didn’t, she couldn’t, she could never. The idea is so laughable that he can’t even laugh, merely shake his head solemnly. The only time Eliza ruins his evening is when she is absent. So in actuality, he supposes, she ruined everything a long time ago.

Even so, he catches her before she can leave and suffer on her own. Despite every nerve ending screaming its discomfort at the display of vulnerability, he calmly tells her, “You don’t have to go, Liza. You can stay…if you want to.”

They sit together in silence, save for the deafening tick of the timer in his ears. He respects her dignity by not looking at her when she begins to cry. He offers his gloved hand, and he allows her to squeeze it as tightly as she needs to.

Weakly, she murmurs, “…Thank you, Willy.”

They are kindred spirits, after all. Although, for her sake, he would give anything for that to be less true.

—–

It turns out that Eliza is not the only one who has been oblivious for the past year.

It’s difficult to remember how it starts, much less which of them makes the first move toward the other. He should be embarrassed by how easily he caves to her—and he might be, had she not caved just as easily. This has been a long time coming, and when the dam finally bursts, they desperately grasp at each other as though it’s their last night alive.

The following morning, he wakes up to an empty bed and silence. Strange, as he had expected at least a touch of fanfare to her swift departure from his life. Disappointed, but not surprised.

He is not prepared for the bedroom door swinging open.

Eliza is wearing her clothing from the previous night, although her blouse is wrinkled and her hair falls in untamed waves. She holds a steaming mug of coffee in either hand. Jelly, his spoiled white Ragdoll cat, pads into the room behind her, climbs onto the bed and settles at his feet, purring contentedly in that way that announces she has just been fed.

As Eliza sets one mug down on the nightstand beside him, he blinks, ensuring that he is indeed fully awake.

“Eliza,” he rasps, cursing how relieved he sounds (although it’s a tad late to play coy). “You…you’re still here.”

She tilts her head in confusion. Where else would she be? His cat was hungry, and he always has his morning coffee at six AM.

“I do not relish returning to my room in the same outfit from last night,” she mutters, taking a sip from her own mug. “Perhaps it would be prudent of me to bring a change of clothes next time.”

Next time seems too good to be true. Then again, Eliza herself always seems too good to be true. Yet, here she is, feeding his cat, bringing him coffee in bed, crawling in next to him and skimming through an article in the Acta Astronomica on her tablet.

Wonka knows that last night, an unspoken barrier was broken, and breaking that barrier has consequences. If life has taught him anything, he should be good and terrified right now. Terrified that he has been compromised, that he has undeniably given this tightly-wound woman immeasurable power over him. His walls, so carefully crafted over thirty long, lonely years—Charlie Bucket and his family created a massive, irreparable hole in them six years ago. Eliza Weber boldly climbed through that hole and made a home for herself within. But he is not terrified, not in the slightest; in fact, he feels liberated.

Wonka eventually reaches over to his nightstand and takes a sip of his coffee. He briefly locks eyes with Eliza, and they share a languid smile, always able to communicate so much with so little effort.

Eliza, who stayed, who stays, she has ruined everything. Wonka can never thank her enough for that.

#sideblog merge stuff #queue

[sheithauzine]

Stargazing Zine Contributor Spotlight

Get to know the contributors that are a part of Stargazing: a Sheith AU Fanzine!  Last, but not least, is @fishingclocks​, who did a “Finest Hours” AU fic!

As a reminder, you only have a little over 24 hours to grab your own copy of Stargazing!

Willow

“Through context clues, I've decided that 'Shut your quiznack' means 'Shut your fuck', and I think that's beautiful.”

fishingclocks on AO3 @fishingclocks​ on Tumblr

So, even I, a semi-recovered Chris Pine fangirl, hadn’t heard of Finest Hours until you pitched this fic idea.  It’s definitely not very well-known or the sort of thing you’d commonly see done as an AU, and arguably a challenging genre as well.  Why was it that you decided to go with this instead of something more traditional?

So there's a couple answers to this. The first is a preference for my Sheith fic that's pretty personal - I just really like fics where they're pilots? No matter the setting - in spaceships or on a dingy - I feel like Keith and Shiro belong on ships. And this fic is basically intrinsically tied to ships. The real reason, though, is that I just like to tread off the beaten path with my AUs. I adore tropey fic, but I feel like I don't have the mind to take something someone else has already done and make it my own. So for me, that sort of AU almost is traditional!

You have done some unusual (and awesome) AUs before, that’s for sure.  I’ve been familiar with (and loved) your work before you joined Stargazing, and so much of it is very long!  You might have stepped outside of your comfort zone for this project, but you definitely nailed it.  What challenges did you run into while trying to tell a story within a zine’s shorter word count, and (for those of us who struggle with it, too), do you have any advice for downsizing?

Yeah, for me, the hard part is always telling a complete story while also setting limitations for yourself. I always like having lots of dialogue in my pieces, and because I like to keep a close third-person POV, I like to include moments of introspection to move the story forward, rather than have plot points do all the work. The way I've started practicing, I pick out the most important moment in a scene - the main plot reason it's there, because in a short fic all of your scenes should have a reason in the plot to be there - and center all action in the scene around it. That way, all of your scenes are direct, intentional, and yet they do what you need them to do. And it doesn't only have to be plot driven either - you can center the scene around a thematic concept, or a character interaction - as long as there's constant forward momentum to some end goal in the scene!

Despite being in the Voltron fandom for a while, this has been your first foray into writing a full Sheith fanfic, correct?  What was it like, coming in and beginning to make your mark creatively on this fandom, with this ship you’ve been sailing for some time?

Honestly, it's been terrifying! I mean, no, that's not the right word, but it was definitely something that intimidated me. To be totally honest, I swore that I would never write any Voltron fic - I feel like there's so much I don't know, and that there's so many better authors than me, the fandom doesn't need me. In the beginning, I didn't really ship anything except Allura and I, so I thought I would just sit it out. And then all at once, my friends introduced me to the wonder that is Sheith, and I was a lost cause. I still don't feel like I know enough or am involved enough in the fandom to write anything but fun AUs, but I've been broken. For over a year I've been writing small fics for them - little character interaction explorations, just to figure out their dynamic and get a fix of fluff - and with this Stargazing fic, I'm officially making my first real, exciting step into the fandom!

We’re definitely glad to have you here, that’s for sure!  And finally, the most important question of all: if you could choose to live in any AU, limited only by your imagination, which would it be?

I actually don't have to give this any thought at all! Remember those Moon and Sun AUs that were popular about a year ago? One character is the moon, one character is the sun, and in some AUs they live in a stylized version of space, and in others they rule over a kingdom, of sorts, one dark blue and silver, the other yellows and oranges and reds. I would love to be the Sun! The costumes in these AUs are always so lavish, and the Sun designs are always just stunning. What I wouldn't give to be constantly surrounded by warm sunset colors, draped in yards and yards of fabric - and also with this AU comes the standard romance with the Moon, and I personally feel like it's my destiny to be the Moon's girlfriend, so that would work out very nicely.

You can pick up your own copy of Stargazing here!  All profits will go to the Center for Victims of Torture.

#Stargazing Sheith Zine #Shiro #Keith #Sheith #Voltron

[oumakokichi]

Since you've talked a lot about "why Ouma is not Komaeda", would it be okay if I asked you what your take is on Saihara's differences with Hinata?

This is a really fun question, actually! I’vetalked about how Saihara is his own character, as well as his differences fromNaegi and Hinata on a more general level, but I don’t think I’ve ever gone intoexplicit detail about how different he is from Hinata.

I’ve seen a lot of people raisecomplaints about Saihara’s similarities with both previous protagonists. WithNaegi, the accusations are that both of them are “weak” or “ordinary,” but withHinata the accusations are generally more directed towards the fact that bothof them as protagonists are far more depressed than someone optimistic likeNaegi, and both of them struggle with issues like their own self-image.However, the reasons for why they grapple with these things are quitedifferent.

The most important point ofdifference that I would note is that while Hinata certainly “is depressed” overhis own lack of talent, Saihara “has depression.” There’s a world of differencebetween “being depressed” and “having depression,” in my opinion, at least.

At heart, Hinata is not someonewho gets depressed often or easily. Prior to attending Hope’s Peak, we knowthat Hinata was relatively self-assured. He was far more confident than Saiharaever was or has been; his use of “ore” as a pronoun and his lack of honorificsamong his classmates suggests that in a situation removed from Hope’s Peak andtalent, he’s relatively confident and considers himself on equal footing withmost people his own age.

As we see in sdr2, wiped of hismemories and unaware of his own lack of talent, Hinata is able to performadmirably when under strain or duress. He gets much more annoyed and fed upwith his classmates than Naegi or Saihara tend to, but he also holds himselftogether relatively well, confident in his reasoning and common sense. Even asearly as the first investigation in sdr2, he notes that he’s “doing a prettygood job investigating all by himself,” despite the fact that he has noparticular talent for detective work.

These small glimpses of self-assuranceand confidence show that Hinata doesn’t “have depression,” much less theanxiety that Saihara struggles with. Instead, Hinata was someone shaped by thetalent-based society around him. Hope’s Peak Academy and its rules andregulations forced him to feel worthless and inadequate for arbitrary reasons,like not having a specific talent at which he excelled.

Despite all that, Hinata feltas though he very much deserved achance to attend Hope’s Peak. He admired the school more than anyone, and hewanted to attend it more than anyone—and for that reason, he couldn’t acceptthat not being naturally talented was reason enough to refuse him access tothose opportunities. The constant societal pressure and the implication that “talent”was equivalent with “self-worth” eventually made him willing to throw awayeverything, even his own sense of self, in order to obtain that “talent.” Butthe point still stands that he wouldn’t have made that decision if he hadn’thonestly thought that he deserved to have a chance at attending Hope’s Peak.

Hinata’s self-loathing is aresult of societal pressure and the dissonance caused by knowing that he hasworth as a human being but being told otherwise by Hope’s Peak and the worldaround him. When thrust into unreasonable or dangerous situations that he can’tdo anything about, his instinct isn’t to lie down or give up—quite thecontrary, he gets angry. Even in Chapter 1 of sdr2, there are several occasionswhere he simply screams by himself in his cottage, unable to accept thesituation they’ve all been put into.

There are many, many issuesthat Hinata struggles with—but those issues are caused by society itself. Sdr2is a story largely about how Hinata and the other characters are products of thesociety in which they’ve grown up, products of Hope’s Peak, and how others arestill trying to mold them to their own purposes even now. Were it not for Hope’sPeak existing and perpetuating the notion that “talent” is the only “real way”to achieve anything in life, Hinata might very well have lived a perfectly normal,happy life.

By contrast, Saihara is adepressed person by nature. Again, he “has depression”—I don’t think anyonecould go through ndrv3 and argue that he doesn’t have textbook symptoms ofdepression and anxiety, in any case. As Tsumugi says in Chapter 6, and as hehimself says, he’s a “weak person” by nature. His instinct when things gettough is to pretty much lie down and give up, which is a pretty understandableand human reaction. Depression by definition is a disorder which makes it feelas though everything, even the mostbasic tasks, is completely impossible, so it would be better to not even tryanyway.

On several occasions, Saiharatries to simply hole himself up in his room. Right after Kaede’s death inChapter 1, he stays in his room and doesn’t exhibit much interest in eating or eatingwith others; Momota has to come and get him in order to make him join everyoneelse at breakfast. Lethargy, apathy, and lack of sleep and appetite are allabout as textbook as it gets when it comes to symptoms of depression, andSaihara establishes very, very early on that he tends to react this way a lot.

He also panics and loses hiscool extremely easily compared to someone like Hinata, who is noticeably moreconfident and self-assured. Saihara’s anxiety largely stems from his fear ofexposing the truth. Because he feels that he “ruined a man’s life” by exposingthe truth and sending him to jail, he’s absolutely terrified of repeating thosesame mistakes.

This means that he has far lessconfidence in his own judgment, and that situations which pull him out of hiscomfort zone often disorient and scare him. Constantly throughout the game,Saihara displays a fear of the truth, fear of the unknown, and fear of hurtingthose around him. He trusts himself very little, because he knows that he’sweak and insecure, and doesn’t want to “drag down” anyone else.

In Chapter 5 especially, we seeSaihara’s depression and anxiety reach an all-time high. After Ouma shows thewhole group “the truth of the outside world” in order to grind the killing gameto a halt by removing their desire to leave, Saihara’s suicidal nature isreally shown in full, without being glossed over or downplayed at all.

Prior to Chapter 5, there wereplenty of indications that Saihara had suicidal urges—but he often dismissedthem quickly, as though trying not to think about them. After using theremember light in Chapter 2, he remembers thinking “I don’t want to liveanymore. I want to die together with everyone else.” And again, just before theChapter 2 trial, when trying to motivate himself in order to solve the mysteryand survive with everyone else, he tries thinking about reasons he might wantto live, only to come back to the same thoughts about wanting to die again.

He tries fervently denyingthose thoughts, claiming that he does want to live, that there’s no way hewants to just give up and die, but in Chapter 5 we see for the very first timejust how hard it truly is for someone like Saihara to keep living. After beingtold that none of his friends or loved ones are alive anymore, and that theearth itself is completely decimated and ruined, Saihara simply goes back tohis room without even remembering how he got there, lies on his bed, and thinksaimlessly to himself “there’s no reason to live.” And he repeats that thought,over and over again.

He stays in his room for atleast two days without eating, sleeping, or showering. It’s highly implied thatif he had actually had the energy to do so, he would’ve simply killed himself—becausedying seemed like the “nicer alternative” to living with the knowledge that hehad. Himiko exhibits similar traits; when Maki rounds them all up to talk aboutthe remember light she found in the cafeteria, she asks Maki point-blank if she’lljust kill her and put her out of her misery. Maki agrees that she’ll killanyone who wants to be killed, but only if they use the remember light first, andSaihara and the others don’t disagree with this plan at all.

As someone who has dealt withdepression for years now, I can vouch that these sorts of depressive episodes mostdefinitely happen. There have been times myself when I couldn’t leave my room,eat, or sleep. Seeing such a thing presented in such a realistic, raw way withSaihara really hit close to home for me. It’s a horrible kind of feeling, onethat I’m not sure most people could understand unless they’ve experienced itthemselves.

In Chapter 6 as well, afterbeing repeatedly hit with Tsumugi’s “reveals” about the state of their memoriesand the fact that they’re little more than fictional characters designed forthe killing game show, Saihara gives up completely.He’s simply not the kind of person who can motivate himself or inspire hope oroptimism in others.

The reason Kiibo had to take onthe protagonist role from him was because Saihara simply cannot fulfill therole of “inspirational protagonist” in the first place. Being told that hismemories, his backstory, even his feelings were all “lies” made Saihara feelcompletely, 100% defeated. And were it not for Kiibo’s willingness to sacrificehimself and his speeches about hope and optimism (even though that “hope” wasthe wrong choice), Saihara himself says that he would’ve simply given up. Theonly reason he was able to return to his senses and realized the trap inTsumugi’s “hope vs. despair” choice was because Kiibo gave him a reason to keepgoing.

There are many, many times inwhich Hinata becomes angry, upset, or depressed over the realizations that hehas in sdr2, and in which he struggles to find his own path or what he shoulddo after being constantly pulled in all directions by other people for hisentire life. But he never once gave up completely. Hinata’s story has alwaysbeen one of trying to find his own path, of making a place for himself in theworld no matter what the cost, even if it means becoming a different personentirely.

Saihara, on the other hand(along with pretty much all the other ndrv3 characters), is highly implied to haveonly signed up for the killing game in the first place because he was socompletely willing and ready to die. Regardless of how much Tsumugi may havebeen lying about, the outside world in ndrv3 definitely doesn’t seem to be in agood state. I’ve talked in other pieces of meta about why I believe the virus,at least, was real—and the existence of the virus would imply that the meteorcrashes were also real.

There are so many hints andimplications that the world itself is so awful, boring, and ruined in ndrv3that most people are simply desensitized by now. The idea of dying in a waythat’s “interesting” or “entertaining” seems preferable to simply living outone’s life the same way, day after day.

There are several MonokumaTheaters that imply this throughout the course of the game (including one whereMonokuma talks about how he thinks the ones who die in the killing game are the“truly happy ones”), as well as the boy named Makoto, who we get a glimpse ofat the beginning of Chapter 6. Tsumugi’s comments about how she and the othercharacters are people who can “only live within the world of Danganronpa” alsoseem to imply as much. Again and again in ndrv3, we’re presented with the ideathat the outside world is horrible, harsh, and cruel, and that throwing oneselfentirely into fiction is the preferable alternative, even if it means dying.

Saihara, for all hisimprovement, development, and growth, is still anxious and depressed at hiscore. His anxiety and depression remain with him for the course of the entiregame, and are never magically “fixed” or “cured,” because those things are aninherent part of who he is. Unlike Hinata, who was made to feel worthless andunsatisfied with himself because of societal pressure, Saihara is simply adepressed and anxious person by nature—even the fact that he still seemsextremely nervous and on-edge in the prologue, prior to “getting his memories,”implies as much.

He and Hinata might strugglewith similar issues, but their personalities are vastly different, as are thereasons why they struggle in the first place. Were it not for externalcircumstances like Hope’s Peak, I think Hinata would’ve developed into arelatively confident, self-assured person, capable of leading others and makinga name for himself wherever he goes. He’s ambitious, keeps his cool underpressure, and has an abundance of qualities that would make him perform well injust about any circumstance.

But I can’t say the same forSaihara. Saihara is not someone who naturally leads others, nor does he wantto; rather, he’s dragged into the protagonist role due to factors beyond hiscontrol. But he can only truly shine when following someone else’s lead, be itKaede, Momota, Ouma, or Kiibo. He needs support and encouragement in order tokeep going, because otherwise the weight of his own depression and anxietywould be too much to bear.

He is really, truly suicidaldeep down. Not only does he not trust in his own judgment, but he honestly can’tthink of any reason why he should still be alive, because he doesn’t think hedeserves to live, on some level. This is what makes it all the more poignantthat he does survive at the end, despite his absolute willingness to lay downhis life if it meant ending the killing game. Despite his weakness, hisinsecurities, and his willingness to throw his own life away, Saihara at theend of ndrv3 is presented with the opportunity to gradually find his ownmeaning in life, even if that life is “fictional” or “a lie.”

This has gotten quite long, soI’ll stop, but this was really an enjoyable question, anon. Thank you so muchfor giving me the opportunity to answer it! I love Hinata and Saihara both somuch; they’re both fantastic characters, and I’m glad I could talk at lengthabout what makes them so different and enjoyable in their own way. Thanks forasking, anon!

#ndrv3 #new danganronpa v3 #sdr2 #shuuichi saihara #hajime hinata #ndrv3 spoilers // #my meta #okay to reblog #anonymous

[fountainpenguin]

So... In your "Zone Swap" idea, does Jazz figure out Danny's secret like she does in the main series? And if so, does she try to help keep his secret without letting him know she's figured it out?

Heh heh. It’s not much of a secret, really. I’ll jot out some AU basics here because I’m still trying to figure them out myself and decide where Jazz fits best in the AU. This is kind of a rough draft, so details may change later. Skim to the bold parts if you want to see the answer to your actual question; this first part is just some “ChalkZone” babble as I gather my thoughts on secret identities.

My goal with ZoneSwap is to swap some signature parts of both “Danny Phantom” and “ChalkZone”, but still keep the characters as in-character as possible where I can while taking into account all the ways the worldbuilding has been flipped and taking creative liberties as necessary (like making Tucker a ghost to give Danny motivation to visit and protect the Ghost Zone).

As a result of this swap, Rudy can now “go chalk”, turning into Snap, and even use the magic chalk in the RealWorld (though the effects only last as long as he stays in chalk form, and erase when he switches to normal). I’ve said that he can switch at will, but really, he needs to be standing inside a closed chalk shape like a circle or a square or whatever. If he can’t find one and he doesn’t have chalk of his own on hand, he’s stuck.

He can no longer create portals at will, and has to find them instead. I think they pop up on certain chalk surfaces at random, kind of like the Ghost Zone ones do: for example, instead of drawing the underwater portal in “Water Water Everywhere”, it would have opened itself, flooding the quarry, and Rudy only would have known about it once it started attracting attention. 

I can’t decide yet if he would have tried to repair the breach while in regular form or chalk form. Hmm. I’m thinking the ZoneSwap version of this episode would share some similarities with “Life Lessons” from “Danny Phantom”, by which I mean that Reggie would go chalk and try to help Rudy save the town.

Ooh, yes. They go chalk and have to act like they get along in public because the whole town sees them and thinks they’re superhero and sidekick or something, even though they can’t stand each other. Then when the rain finally arrives, he and Reggie end up stuck under a ledge or something in the quarry / nearby area and have to watch the water rise while Penny runs frantically off in search of an umbrella, heh heh. 

As much as Reggie doesn’t care for the wonders of ChalkZone, he still appreciates the world as his escape from reality, and he doesn’t want to see it found or destroyed. Presumably, he’d use his cape like a scarf to hide his face and better conceal his identity. Gotta have secret identities! (So, for the most part, it’s Rudy who has the secret identity now, not Danny).

Rudy also has to deal with dangerous Zoners escaping into the RealWorld, and Reggie the Red, Vinnie, and Terry are bigger threats too. Finally, he’ll dissolve in water if he’s in chalk form and it will hurt a lot.

Danny, following his being zapped by his parents’ basement portal, still has ghost powers, but in this AU they only work in the Ghost Zone. Even though the Phantom look doesn’t carry over, he still calls himself by that name when addressing other ghosts, because they feel more comfortable with him that way.

He still has ghost enemies, but makes lots of ghost friends too, including Tucker, who’s been dead for the last two years. He can also create portals into the Ghost Zone through the thermos at will, but only so many before the thermos has to be recharged. Probably by dipping it in the portal in the basement and filling it with “ghost soup”.

ZS!Danny’s entire deal is, whereas Rudy is a fighter now, Danny becomes a lover kind of by default. For some reason or another, ghosts can’t survive outside of the Zone for longer than a few hours or days (not sure how long yet, but preferably hours for plot reasons). This might be because they can’t breathe, or they can’t maintain their connection to the world (the assumption being that the Zone is the only thing that keeps them grounded) and they fade away permanently.

There would need to be a definite negative association with fading for Danny to react the way he does, so perhaps instead of just fading, a ghost becomes “corrupted” when away from the Zone too long. They might start to dissolve, losing pieces of themself and some of their sanity. Ghosts who were once friendly, helpful spirits might transform into bitter nightmare creatures and act like feral or even rabid animals. Yes, now we’re getting somewhere.

Anyway, unfortunately, lots of ghosts either don’t know this, or believe it won’t happen to them (Imagine the stories that get in the news sometimes about parents putting their kids in risky situations at national parks, such as by spreading honey on their children to attract bears. Or compare it to teens who regularly have unprotected sex but don’t consider the possibility of getting pregnant or contracting STDs. That sort of mindset. “This is the kind of thing that happens to someone else”, “I’ll be careful”, “I know what I’m doing”, etc.)

Let’s face it: The Human Realm is attractive to ghosts. Technus wants to get his hands on all the flashy electronics that Walker doesn’t allow in the Ghost Zone. Skulker wants to hunt. Box Ghost wants to add to his collection. Ember wants to play her music in front of adoring teen crowds. Tucker wants to hang out with his friends. Other ghosts want to explore, visit friends and family, or just simply cause trouble.

Danny has watched his parents chase down countless of these “rogue” ghosts that I compared to feral, rabid animals here. And they’re terrifying. After reuniting with Tucker in the “pilot episode”, I presume, he learns some missing pieces from Tuck and puts together this whole “being away from the Zone too long makes these ghosts lose themselves”. 

So, he and Sam take it upon themselves to inform all the ghosts about such dangers / keep tabs on which ghosts are out and prioritize which ones need to be caught and returned first. Unfortunately, Danny probably gets pegged as a liar or something, so few ghosts are willing to go quietly back to the Zone and he has to lure them into the portals he creates with the thermos.

And there are some ghosts who are well aware of the danger, but come to him seeking aid, so he has to solve their problems, I guess. Something like that.

Basically Danny’s existence revolves around befriending the restless spirits he can and trying to better their afterlives while having a strict “ghosts are supposed to stay in the Ghost Zone” policy that no one listens to (especially a guy named Vlad who wants to exploit ghosts in some way, possibly by making them pay to leave the Zone? My original idea was that he firmly believed ghosts should be free, but I’m not sure how that will work with this “rabid ghost concept. And later in the series he’d start sending them Danny’s way by painting him as a villain for trapping him… I’m thinking Vlad had a daughter named Ellen who just recently died and he’s also trying to find her. Hmm… Thoughts?)

And of course, on the flipside, Rudy plays hero by keeping Skrawl, Craniac, and various other baddies in ChalkZone while at the same time keeping Vinnie and Terry out of it, and dealing with his school life and Reggie. He has to go chalk in order to draw stuff with the magic chalk, and he’d draw lots of things to fight for him (as opposed to attacking physically) while of course sticking to his oath to never again draw a living thing because he can’t handle the stress.

I’m loosely trying to imagine these two shows as if they were designed and written by the writers of the opposite show, therefore resulting in CZ being a darker and more actiony show and DP being cuter and more focused on world-building. That’s kind of tough though, because I can’t just remove all the awesome worldbuilding from “ChalkZone”, and a show about teenagers and ghosts tends to be angsty by default. I’m trying to find a middle ground.

To answer your actual question, everyone in Amity Park thinks ZS!Danny is a loon who runs around being a goofy ghost hunter like his parents. Since Danny can’t use his powers in the Human Realm, Valerie is Amity Park’s big hero. Instead of Phantom getting his name dragged through the dirt, the citizens of Amity Park by default attribute all of Danny’s good deeds to her, even if she only showed up at the very last minute when the cameras arrived. It’s equally as annoying to him as it was when everyone considered Phantom a villain.

Jazz would have to go into the Ghost Zone to realize that Danny has these ghostly abilities. In the Human Realm, he has to chase ghosts while fully human. Their parents would obviously be thrilled that he wants to join them in the family ghost-hunting business.

BUT Danny is trying to help and rescue ghosts, while his parents want to catch and study them. I think the big secret for Jazz to learn in this AU would be that Danny is using the portal despite their parents thinking it doesn’t work. 

She would learn (possibly during that “Snap Out of Water” parody that I nicknamed “Tuck, Tuck, Loose”) that Tuck is a ghost now, and Danny and Sam are friends with him and regularly sneak off to visit the Ghost Zone. I think she would want to be helpful, but her helpfulness probably has its limits.

Jack and Maddie, I guess, would be very worried/upset with A) Danny for befriending a ghost behind their back, B) the fact that he’s been getting in their way and preventing them from catching ghosts, and/or C) having potentially dangerous adventures in the Ghost Zone, or something along those lines. Once Vlad becomes involved, that would add another factor into the equation.

OR! About a year ago, Bill Burnett (one of “ChalkZone”’s co-creators) confirmed that a human who spends 24+ hours straight in ChalkZone will turn into a Zoner permanently, and said that if the show hadn’t stopped airing, we would have met a “British aristocrat kid” who had suffered this fate, and who teamed up with Skrawl in a big special episode (and Bill hints that this is why Skrawl kept stealing magic chalk since only a human can use it, even though we never found out why he was doing this in the show itself). 

So, I could take that detail and add it to this AU too- ZS!Jazz might find out through her parents (or probably Vlad) that the more time ZS!Danny spends in the Ghost Zone, the more corrupted and “rabid ghost-like” he’ll become (possibly because he’s half-ghost, so Sam might be immune). She might tell Danny this, but he would be upset, and they’d get into a fight over who knows more about ghosts, since he’s the one who’s visited the Zone more. 

Maybe he would begin showing signs of feral/rabid corruption, and she has to keep this from their parents while she struggles to find a cure, despite Danny constantly snapping at her that he’s fine and she needs to get off his back. With him being partly dead, maybe he suffers the same way as the other ghosts when he’s not in the Zone, but his development was delayed. So like, he can’t stay in the Ghost Zone without negative side effects, but he can’t stay out of it without negative side effects either.

If ZoneSwap were a show then Danny would probably show subtle signs the whole season, but the topic of his corruption would probably be the Season 1 finale or something, or maybe Season 2 (Personally I like the idea of Dash building a thermos of his own - possibly with Vlad’s help - as the last scene of Season 1 so he and Danny have the same weapon as a nod to Reggie and Rudy both using magic chalk in “Reggie the Red”, so we’ll make it Season 2).

So yes, in a way, Jazz would discover Danny’s ghost side. Even if he doesn’t become the same exact Phantom he does in canon, he’s still half dead and would presumably be of interest to his ghost-hunting parents, so she does her best to keep him off their radar.

I’m still kind of working out the details, but I’m getting there! I have some vague plans for this AU already figured out, but most of this I’m making things up as I go and get to answer Asks like this~

#ZoneSwap AU #Going Ghost! #Rudys got the chalk! #Ghost Getter Number 1 #asks #Anon #Main Phantom trio #The Val gal #Chalkmeister

[r3dpandacosplay]

Hello Tumblr lovelies! 

It’s been far too long. Now that it’s 2017, I’m quickly jumping on the resolution train, two of which are directly relevant to this blog:

I’ll be posting more. Work is always busy (it’s the nature of the games industry), so I’ve come to use it as an excuse as of late. No longer! 

I’m actually going to share my cosplay creations once they are finished. I tend to sew in spurts, frantically throwing together costumes for cons or other events. Then I burn out from the cosplay cramming and become lazy about uploading photos – frankly, it’s just silly. Time to kill the bad habit. 

Let’s kick things off with my latest project – a Lolita-inspired Braixen gijinka! It sounds like pure nonsense, but it was so much fun. 

The Fennekin evolution has always been one of my favorites. As you go through the line, it legit looks like a wizard fox. It’s like Harry Potter meets Pokémon, aka every nerd’s dream. I stumbled upon a magical gijinka (humanization of an animal-like character) interpretation of Braixen one day from sakihata and with permission, got to work. 

~Costume notes~

Absolutely all sewing was done by yours truly. This was my first time attempting to pull off such a fanciful design, and I’m fairly content with how it turned out. Per the usual though, I’d still consider this a beta version. I need to make fit tweaks to the top, create a much fuller skirt and clean up some messy (but mostly hidden) mistakes. I’m planning to wear Braixen to Sakura-Con 2017, so I’ve got breathing room to dive back into things. 

The wig is Theia in Rich Butterscotch Blonde from EpicCosplay (I refuse to buy wigs anywhere else). 

I fell in love with the color of this wig. Before chopping a few inches off for Braixen, I actually used it for a casual Jolteon costume on Halloween. 

I nearly went with the Diana style instead but decided it would be more fun to create mermaid waves using an EpicCosplay tutorial. I’m really glad that I went outside of my comfort zone on this, because I think it’s the perfect Lolita look! 

I was terrified of making the ears, since I’m not terribly crafty outside of standard sewing. I referenced a tutorial from Katsumiyo and found it super helpful, especially the ingenious idea of using hair clips to discreetly attach the ears. 

The boyfriend took these shots in Point Defiance Park. While a rain day, it was a great forest setting ^_^

Speaking of rain, I might incorporate a lace umbrella/parasol into the getup next time around. Not only does it fit the Lolita theme, but it would be very appropriate here in Seattle. 

Since most of my cosplay experience has been with highly structured ensembles (jackets, collared shirts, etc), this project was pretty terrifying. All in all, I’m tremendously happy with how it came out and hope you all enjoy it <3 

#cosplay #pokémon #braixen #gijinka #lolita