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diningpageantry · 4 years

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writing tag game

i was tagged by @annabellelux, @bazypitchandsimonsnow , @sharkmartini , and @angelsfalling16 !!! thank you, y’all!

ao3 name: cynosure_phrases (originally this, then i swapped it to my tumblr name, but that made me feel weird so i changed it back. bit of backstory, i made the username when i was 14.... yeah. that’s pretty telling.)

fandoms: currently carry on and my chemical romance, but i write strictly for carry on. i was previously in the sherlock fandom, and i originally wrote on my current ao3, but i swapped all my fics onto a different account so i wouldn’t have to see the notifs on them lmao (you can ask for the account if you’re really curious, but it’s bad)

tropes: god. handholding?? im in love with the trope of intimacy between people who are interested in each other, but not yet together. like... cuddling in the platonic sense, but both want more. so just like, yearning. the trope of yearning. that and “idiots to lovers”.

number of fics: 37 on ao3. a good 10 half-finished ones in my google drive. countless ficlets on my tumblr

fic i spent the most time on: “the storyteller”. i started that in october 2018, finished it officially february 2019. i wrote the majority of it between october and november, then sporadically worked on that in the time in-between.

fic i spent the least time on: god, i genuinely don’t know. i usually can do a 2k fic in under 3 hours including editing, but “when are we not dreaming” was written over the course of like. 5 days. i dissociated through the whole thing. genuinely. i remember starting the concept, then coming out the other end with a finished fic. multiple of those days were spent not sleeping and only drinking black coffee, according to my roommate.

longest fic: “the storyteller”, again, at 47,605 words.

shortest fic: on ao3, “happy anniversary” at 638

most hits/kuddos/comment threads/bookmarks:

hits: “room for the two of us”

kudos: “room for the two of us”

comment threads: “proximity: the collision of lonely men”

bookmarks: “room for the two of us”

total word count: 328,572

favorite fic i wrote: i wanna say one of the ones i already listed, but since i dont wanna be repetitive (again), right now it’s “let’s do the time warp again”. i kind of went off (pun intended) with that one.

fics you want to rewrite/expand on: i plotted out a full fiona/ebb fic and expanded upon “stay with me” for that. it’s angsty mf fic, but i wanted to write a god to honest lesbian fic and one day, i swear, i will. (i also want to rewrite “love you all, die for this” one day.... one day....)

share a bit of a WIP or a story idea you’re planning on: ok so. nowadays. i’ve had more than just normal writer’s block. it’s like i’ve completely lost my ability to write (thank you, college), but i’ve had this WIP running around my head since january that i really want to find the energy to write. it’s a horror fic. simon and baz stranded in the middle of nowhere woods, roughly around 2005. nonmagical/humans. it kind of starts classic 50s horror-y. simon’s giving baz a ride to the next city. penny’s their mutual friend, but they’d never met before this. they hate each other. they argue in the car ride, they argue when they get stuck in the storm, they argue when simon walks off to find shelter somewhere, and baz angrily follows after him. they do eventually find a house, abandoned, but has a working furnace and blankets and well water and canned food that’d probably edible (coincidences but eh it’s a fic yknow), and they’re pissed but agree to settle in for the night, and wait for cell service the next day. cue series of suspense and possibly a beast in the woods. and maybe hate-make outs. who knows!!! (i have a playlist for this fic, if you’re curious. i think it goes hard)

extra fun fact bc you read this far down: i’m an awful speller!!! if you ever find spelling mistakes in my fics, know that i am. terrible. autocorrect is my best friend and confidant. if i ever spell anything wrong, please tell me adlkfjsadf

i don’t know who’s been tagged yet but! @krisrix @warriorbeeofthesea @thehoneyedhufflepuff @lovelessinmanhattan @fight-surrender @vkelleyart @the-lincyclopedia @elaboratebeauty and anyone who hasn’t done it but wants to do it!

#ezra rambles #tag game #fics #mine #fic recs

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sociallyawkward--fics · 3 years

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heyy xy its been a while again idk how long i wanted to send smth earlier but my brain wouldnt let me so:// im kinda Going Through It rn tho& surprise its abt my romanticality again but this time it has nothing to do w a crush. its ,, i was wondering how romantic attraction felt so i did a question thread on twitter but the answers ,, were all stuff ive felt ?? &i think maybe ive been thinking of romantic attraction wrong this whole time but ?? how do i know ?? -H (it is. frustrating)

its like ,, i love the idea of cuddling& holding hands& hugging& yes that could be platonic but ,, ive never kissed anyone but i think it could be smth i enjoy& maybe even smth i want but it wasnt ever anything i thought abt until now ,, recently ive kinda been wanting to date someone nonromantically ?? but how do i tell if the way i want it is romantically or not ?? romantic attraction is just a thing u feel right u dont get to decide whether or not its romantic attraction it just is right?? -H

&i have gotten my own version of crushes but its always ,, i just rly want to be their friend or in extreme cases just ,, like me the way i like them, like liking me best ig ?? but maybe i have wanted to date them& just didnt realize it ?? when i get crushes i think of them a lot& want to be around them& i get butterflies& all the things ppl say they get with romantic attraction. but then ill ask myself if its romantic& i just feel like No. It's not ??? -H

romantic attraction always just felt so ,, other ?? so even now that i realize what i want is what ppl who feel romantic attraction want it just doesnt feel right ?? ive never kissed anyone& ive never dated& maybe if i did those things id know ?? &sometimes ill wish i had a partner but like in a queerplatonic way i think ?? i just want to do traditionally romantic stuff but ,, without it being romantic ?? but thats not how it works is it ?? -H

like if u feel& want all the things that comes with romantic attraction then that means u experience them romantically ?? maybe ?? i cant wrap my head around wanting all those things but not romantically ?? bc romantic attraction is defined as wanting things like dating& kissing& cuddling - not some other alien feeling i thought so ?? maybe im greyromantic or lithromatic or bellusromantic but ?? how do i know ?? -H

maybe im just too young to completely know how i feel ?? maybe if i dated someone or kissed them id know ?? &i kinda rly want to do those things just to know how id feel bc im tired of not knowing im already confused abt my gender identity if i dont know my romanticality what do i know ?? -H

lmao so im over my crisis nvm -H

i dont remember exactly what i was saying but theres a difference between wanting those things& like ,, wanting them from a person yknow maybe i want to be kissed but only theoretically bc who do i want to kiss me then ?? any strong feelings usually fade when i get to know the person so. also apparently romantic attraction is Not just wanting those things apparently theres supposed to be a feeling that comes with it idk -H

help i found u on tiktok while looking through aroace tiktoks skjdjk i saw u& i was like xy ?!?!! u exist in places outside of tumblr ?!?!??! unbelievable -H

i saw ur undertale hcs tiktok& i highkey panicked bc ive been hyperfixating on undertale for like ,, a month now, so it was my 2 favorite things : aspec hcs& undertale. personally i see papyrus as aroace bc of his whole speech after ur date with him& its like ,, a v v important hc to me bc hes the only character ive ever felt i had representation in sjdhfks idk hes like my comfort character now -H

aahhh but yea ive been hyperfixating on undertale so badly but :/ we lost our switch :/ so i couldnt play :/// i had to resort to watching playthroughs on yt. i have watched dan& phils playthrough 3 times& i am going on a 4th. luckily we did find our switch !! &i cant wait until i get papyrus' phone number so i can go through every room& call him& then befriend undyne& go through all the rooms& call him again to see if the responses have changed -H

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I’m So Sorry it took me literally like 2 months to answer these, I promise i wasn’t ignoring you, I just have Stupid Brain!!

Imma be honest with you, romantic attraction is so confusing, and I can’t say I understand it myself. Also, that’s totally how it works. You can do romantically-coded actions with a queerplatonic partner and not have it be romantic at all. Sure, kissing and dating and cuddling are romantically-coded, but that doesn’t mean you have to be in a romantic relationship to do them; doing those things in a queerplatonic sense and not having any romantic emotions in it is totally valid. You can want all these things and still not have/experience romantic attraction. Take all the time you need to figure it out, though. I may tell everyone I’m grayro, but for sure that does not mean that I have it all figured out. I just say that because it’s the closest to whatever confusing feelings I’ve had lol. It takes time to work these things out, just do what feels right for you. You don’t need to force yourself into a romantic situation just to try and see if you’re aro. Honestly, to me? Nothing you’ve described seems inherently romantic. That all seems like it’s queerplatonic or just platonic.

Lol, yes I exist in places outside of tumblr on occasion. Tbh, since we all know I have no time-management skills, tiktok is a little bit why I’ve been so absent around here lately lol. I was focusing a lot on building my account and content there, but I really miss everyone over here and i miss writing my fanfics so I am Back and I’m gonna try and split my time better, now! Undertale is such a valid thing to fixate on, and Paps is such a valid comfort character. Aroace Paps is so valid, I only said grayroace Paps because 1) brain said “make him you” lol and 2) sometimes I think Papyrus/Mettaton can be cute if done right. And yeah, it’s so fun going through the rooms and just calling them lol

#ask #anon #H anon

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cal3ris · 5 years

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@bisexualcyborg (reposting bc i think tumblr ate my first attempt)

bisexualcyborg replied to your photo “I saw The Fellowship again last weekend and promptly reached for the…”

CARO ILU

SARAH ILU2 <333

Lilou and I marathoned the movies right before christmas

U wanna know how much i FUCKING CRIED about the parallels of Frodo’s journey with illness, and about Sam’s UNERRING loyalty and how obvious it is that he’s staying for himself as much as for Frodo

Bc it was A LOT

Also the ending “how do you pick up the threads of a life” (badly quoted but yknow the bit. cue me CRYING MY EYES OUT.)

Didn’t help that the last time I read the full tolkienverse series (lotr+hobbit+silmarillion+etc) was the summer when i was sick

I can only imagine the amount of crying that occurred bc my eyes already get watery when I think about Frodo & Sam and especially when I remember the Grey Havens but it doesn’t hit nearly as close to home for me as I’m guessing it does for you *hugs*

it’s not my first rewatch (tho haven’t reread in a looong time) but this time I am ready to give it the attention it deserves, and also to drag up all the memories bc I am def not the same person I was nearly two-thirds of my lifetime ago (saw the first movie when it came out in 2001) but also in a way I am and that is…interesting.

like, I had no idea what fandom was. I barely knew what the internet was or enough english to get by. at first it was just me and a friend reading the books and geeking out and working it into school assignments at every possibility (I remember so much singing. plays. a fashion show. poetry. an ad for wizard fuzzy slippers named Gandies) we wrote fix-it fic before we knew what fanfic was. and then the internet started to become more commonplace and there were forums and fansites and Elfwood to discover (ohnooo I just found out it shut down in 2016?? i am cry) I don’t actually remember if we had much access to fic back then, the only things I remember were a LotR version of Big Brother the Dutch tv show (an AU if you will) and a verrrry long fic in which Frodo gets a girlfriend (Sam got one, it seemed only fair at the time) I’m sure that if someone had told me about Frodo and Sam living together forever I would have been 100% into it but I was so clueless. so incredibly clueless (didn’t know about shipping, didn’t know queerness as anything more than a vague concept)

On a more fun note: I STILL HAVE ALL THE FUCKING FEELS ABOUT GIMLI AND LEGOLAS OKAY. THEY ARE SO GAY AND SO FANTASTIC. SUCH A SIMULTANEOUSLY FUN AND BEAUTIFUL AND HEARTWRENCHING ROMANCE. I’M SORRY FOR THE SAP BUT G O D

(Have you read sansukh. if you care about the lotr dwarves at all you NEED to read sansukh. even if not tbh. it is a GREAT fic and follows the whole journey of all the members of the fellowship)

SO now that I’m the me I am now I can explore all this again, differently, and am for sure planning on reading fic, so thanks for the rec, I will check it out!!

Also going walking in the woods with a backpack, some rope and fake elvish brad was The Childhood Experience. My backpack was leather and my rope was Way Too Heavy to be elven rope but i loved it anyway

I am so glad you had a similar Childhood Experience bc personally I don’t know anybody else who used to drag rope around for no reason other than “elves!!” I also tried for a while to walk toes first (instead of heel first) bc I had somehow got it into my head that’s how elves walk (don’t ask how that went) (it didn’t :P)

#bisexualcyborg #replies #lotr #nostalgia #i wish i could drag up my old notes and stuff but it's stored away in my dad's attic #maybe i will at some point #i wanna remember who i used to be and also have a good laugh

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