#but to think that this hell im feeling right now is encouraged and sought after and exploited

[dirt-grub]

I’m very glad I’m doing union work and you all should get involved with a union too for your own sakes because like I’m a budding workaholic and to think there are businesses just clamoring to work me to the bone until I self destruct makes me insane

#connor talks #like I do this to myself and all those who have commissioned me have been wonderful and patient it’s all self inflicted #but to think that this hell im feeling right now is encouraged and sought after and exploited? fuck that #it does not feel good or satisfying to forget meals because of a mental illness quirk #but our culture and the culture my family has been raised in revels in it #this is not productivity this is mental illness and self destruction but it keeps me goddamn working don’t it!

[pfreadsandwrites]

congratulations on 100+ followers!!🥺❤️✨ bless you and your quality content ahhhh and thats a really good list of prompts there i actually had trouble picking one... but, since im truly a sucker for angst at heart, can i please have a number 15 with Kakashi?👀 please hurt me lmao thank you, and congrats once again!❤️

100 follower celebration

Yes, i used this mangacap. 

Anyway, ahh @enchantedpendant, I’m so sorry I’ve kept you waiting so long for this! I know you expressed excitement over me writing something angsty way back when I first began the celebration event and ugh I’m just sorry it’s taken so long. And thank you for your support as well. You’ve been so amazing and encouraging right from the start and I’m so grateful :) I really hope you like this... if ‘like’ is the correct word.

Oh - also, to the anon that also requested this exact prompt (great minds think alike, huh?) I’m planning on writing a different version for you! But yours is the penultimate or last one so I’m hoping this’ll tide you over in the meantime! 

This is my first piece after being unable to write for a while - forgive me if it’s rusty. I worked hard on this but I also struggled to all hell with it. It’s a circular-ish/montage-y piece. And I could have made it short, focusing on the scene itself, but I wanted this to have an emotional impact, ya know? I hope it worked! Please let me know what you think. Or if there are any mistakes.

warnings: character death, angst, miscarriage, sad feels all around, female reader, mild violence and sex mentions but nothing explicit, 2.9k

taglist: @madaras-housewife @datblobbyfish @praisingkuroosbedhead @allthingskakashi @enchantedpendant @ibukiirisha @cinam00n @feelingsandemotionsnotexplored @tachibrii @drunkenfists

15. “Don’t die on me - please.”

Why did it always feel too soon, each time he let you go?

You remember it, the first time it happened. 

How could you not? Little, insignificant, as it might have been to some - to him, if he could convince himself - to you, it was momentous. Lasting only a second, where his calloused fingers had brushed against yours, softer than his, yes, but no less enduring. The normally aloof eye, the only one he seemed to show without hesitation, was intent, the obsidian endless in its depth. 

But - out of courtesy to him, or some kind of self-preservation - you’d paid it no mind. Or kept up that pretence, anyway. You found your footing as quickly as you’d lost it, stumbling away from his support no matter how reluctant you were to do so. The gratitude you’d muttered was enough and it seemed like you’d made the right choice; when that quietly shrewd eye of his turned away from you and his strong hands let you go in the same movement. He never let you bask in your own clumsiness, but that somehow made you feel worse. His nonchalance was excruciating. As if he hadn’t just saved you and made it look effortless. As if his touch alone hadn’t frozen you in place. 

As if it never happened at all. 

(It never should have happened at all.)

But still, you remember it. The moon’s luminosity the perfect backdrop, illuminating that wild silver hair as he turned away from you. 

(It was all so disgustingly poetic.)

It took longer than it should have for you to turn away in kind. But you did. Eventually. You made the awkward trek back to camp before him, the internal rambling of your self-berating your only company. It grew louder each time you looked back, stealing little glances against your own will.

It was so loud that you didn’t notice much else.

Not even Kakashi stealing glances back at you, for instance. 

***

Why did your breath hitch,  even when the air had never been more tranquil?

You remember. 

How he always did that, you still don’t know. Perfect timing, though you never appreciated just how perfect until he was gone again. 

(You should have learnt to count your blessings.)

Without a trace, and so quickly, unceremoniously, that the entire encounter might well have been a mirage. It still might have been.

(Maybe it’d been better that way.)

 You’d had enough. You didn’t think it through much further, and your desperation triumphed over your cautiousness as you sought out the bar exit. The mission, against all odds, was a success. And, against all better judgement, you were dragged along to the accompanying celebration. The atmosphere should have been infectious, you should have smiled more, you should have enjoyed yourself. 

Then again, you couldn’t find much to celebrate. Mistakes - your mistakes - had piled up. Your team completed the mission despite you, not because of you. The liability, not the heroine. 

(In hindsight, would it really have been so terrible if things ended for you there?)

You’d exhaled dramatically as you made your escape, a feeble attempt to expel all the guilt and shame you’d retained, or tried to retain, up until now. 

You still remember the lilt of his voice, smooth and somehow jovial, but never losing that gravelly undertone, as you walked around the corner. How could you ever forget it? No matter how lax he sounded, or tried to sound, the severity lurking underneath always cut you deep.

Are you alright, he’d asked, already knowing the answer. With that signature one-eyed smile, he pretended to believe your response. And you pretended, in turn, that his smile didn’t have had the effect on you it did. 

You didn’t exchange that many words as he walked you home, but somehow, it was enough. Though he was always careful with what he revealed, it was enough. He understood - much more than he let on, you suspected - but it was enough.

You didn’t hate yourself quite as much anymore, and - well, it wasn’t too much of a stretch - it didn’t seem like he hated you either. Something in the way his hand squeezed your shoulder, lingering for a moment, just before he saw you off. Was he reluctant to let go? 

Maybe. 

You slept better that night. 

You’d find out later, that, miraculously, Kakashi did too. 

***

Why did you feel so secure, sharing in all that suffering?

You remember.

(Why had you been so stupid?)

You’d almost dropped your flowers, when you saw him standing there, facing the memorial stone. It shouldn’t have been shocking; you’d heard gossip, in passing, about how much time he spent here. You’d also heard, in passing, how late he tended to be. Putting two and two together, you never held the latter against him. 

You understood, after all. You'd understood all the more as your eyes bore into his back. Something in the way he curled and uncurled his fists, the way he sighed, the way his straightened back gradually hunched. 

As far back as you could recall, your attitude to graveyards was… ambivalent. You’d avoid them whenever you could, not out of any tendency to be spooked or anything like that. You just couldn’t bring yourself to leave. It was peaceful, to be immersed somewhere so solemn, with such dense air - but the gravity of it also chained your feet there like an anchor. You knew each time you were there, regardless of your own volition, wouldn’t be the last. So if anyone were to empathise with this particular way he chose to punish himself, it was you.

(And now you would take it on twofold in his stead. What a joke.) 

“You don’t often come here,” he’d said quietly, matter-of-factly. Devoid of judgement, though he didn’t bother to face you. 

“No. I probably don’t spend as much time here as I should…,” your voice trailed off, and found new confidence, when you watched him stare at that stone. Hopelessly. You didn’t know all the details. But you didn’t need to. All you knew that it was simultaneously frustrating and pitiful. “And you probably spend too much.”

This time, he glanced back over his shoulder. You couldn’t exactly see through his mask, but he seemed… amused? “How do you figure that?”

“Call it a hunch.”

He chuckled, satisfied, and stepped back to give you room. “Then, I guess we balance each other out.”

“What a pair we are.” 

“Right. Well, I better-“

You still don’t know why you decided to grab his wrist that day, when he turned to leave. You still don’t know why you couldn’t bring yourself to let go, either. 

You still don’t know why Kakashi decided to stay. 

***

Why did you flit so rapidly from anger to elation, and why was it always because of him?

You remember.

In hindsight, it had been your fault. 

(What the fuck else was new?)

Retreat. Get out of here. It had been a simple order. But it had felt impossible, when the enemy appeared from behind, jutsu blaring, its raw power visible, that disgusting snarl on its wielders’ face - aiming for him.

You didn't think. You couldn’t think. You leapt in front of the attack within seconds, and your plan ended there. 

The same couldn’t be said for your captain. With his signature finesse, with a rare scowl - you couldn't tell who it was aimed at - you were moved away, and the enemy deflected, in the same movement. 

The battle had come to an end shortly after, through no fault of your own. It took all you had, but you bit your tongue as he scolded you, in front of your comrades, quietly healing your wound. 

You had acted for his sake. 

(How futile.)

Apparently, that meant nothing to him, not even worthy of acknowledgement. It wasn’t like you had expected gratitude - but for a man known for his stoicism to blow up, and because of you - it made you livid in turn. 

The journey back had been silent, seemingly just so you could bask in your own shame. 

So, when you were back in the sanctuary of your home, nursing your injury, your failure, and your pride - you hadn’t expected to hear a knock.

Nor had you expected him. Headband missing, brow furrowed and glaring at you in that way you couldn’t understand, much less accept. You’d made a mistake - of disobeying orders, of recklessness, of caring - but why the hell did he care in turn? 

“What?” You had hissed, unable to contain the outrage of his interruption of your little haven. Not that it made it any easier to look at him. “You’re here to admonish me again?”

“What the hell was that?” He growled in turn. “You disobeyed my orders and almost got yourself killed.”

“I-,” your voice shook, tears pricked your eyes - he was right, even if it pained you to admit it, but it wasn’t fair. The space between you had shrunk. He was so close now that you saw the rise and fall of his broad chest beneath his vest - apparently just as outraged as you. You had never seen him like this before. “Why are you so mad at me? I was just trying to - I thought-”

“Am I supposed to factor in every one of your impulses? Why did you do that?”

You remember how you heard his heartbeat, pounding - pounding just as loud as yours was. And it depleted your inhibitions. “Because - because you were in danger, you asshole!”

You remember how he had gently grabbed your injured wrist, just as you were about to shove him. You’d anticipated his reflexes, but you couldn’t have anticipated his expression, when you finally met his gaze. You remember how swiftly he’d pulled down his mask, but you couldn’t have anticipated just how breathtaking he’d be, either. Nor how it could feel when he kissed you - finally.

When Kakashi moved to pull away, of course, of course, you moved to pull him right back. 

 ***

Why did you always let him leave?

You remember.

(If you knew how it would end, you never would have let him. Better still, maybe you never should have let him enter in the first place.)

Safe.

You’d never felt so safe. 

When he’d appear and reappear at your apartment - the window, never the door, despite your half-hearted protests - waving with that stupid, adorable, one-eyed smile. He knew you’d saunter over, sliding it open with a matching grin, every time without fail. 

(You always did. That much, you did.)

When he’d laugh, when you told him about your mishaps. You’d laugh at his in kind - though it didn’t suit you, and you replaced it with your usual sympathetic ear. When you’d accompany him to the memorial stone, and pull him way just at the right time. When he’d pull you away, too. 

(What a fool.)

When he’d unmask himself around you, and you pretended not to notice, like it didn’t floor you. When you watched him struggle to decide whether he was relieved or offended. When he kissed you, in that indescribable way that wavered between tentative and determined, soft and powerful, usually choosing the perfect time to flit to the latter, making your knees buckle in the process.

(What a fool.)

When he’d undress you, and no matter how desperate he’d seem, how he always paused to take you in. When he’d move in you, filling your heart and body so much that you thought you might burst. When he’d hold you just that little bit closer, tighter, longer every time.

(What a fool.)

Even when he’d leave, sometimes after you’d fallen asleep, sometimes before - sometimes in the morning - when he’d leave for a day, a week, a month - you felt safe.

Because you knew, in the deep recesses of your heart, that each time you saw him wouldn’t be the last.

(What a fucking fool.)

You remember the first time he said it. Quietly, earnestly, unceremoniously. 

“I love you,” Kakashi had murmured into your ear one night, when he was so, so sure you were sleeping. 

***

Why did you ever dare think you had any cause for optimism?

You remember.

The two lines, glaring upwards and through you, from that unremarkable little piece of plastic. They’d ran parallel - you thought it apt, just like your trepidation and your excitement. The lines would never meet, though. 

(How apt.) 

You’d been happy. That was what had shocked you most, save only for the very fact of you being in this situation in the first place. But behind the fear, there it was. A little glow, a nucleus of hope and future nascent deep in your centre, spread through your heart and speckled to your fingertips, your face, your smile - that paired flawlessly with the little bundle of meaning, the combination of you and him budding in your belly. 

(Buds drop off before blooming all the time.)

You thought it’d be easy. 

(How stupid.)

You thought you could share it all with him right away. 

(You wished.)

But there was a part of you that faltered, when he’d show up at your window in that deceptively lax way. The words stuck in your throat, whenever he asked you if you were alright. The ease of his question didn’t match the weight of the truth. It almost felt… cruel. 

Maybe his fears would eclipse yours, and all that euphoria you’d harboured would dissolve. Maybe he’d be angry, though you suspected that even if he were, it’d be short lived. Maybe you’d end up keeping him from his duty. 

(Maybe you were just a coward.)

Regardless, your hands would float to your stomach whenever they weren’t occupied. Regardless, your mind would conjure up a future, remiss of your own will, an idyllic scene of a child, a marriage, something so sickly sentimental that you wanted to scold yourself. Regardless, it gave you hope.

It was enough, you’d decided. You'd get over it, face him and your fears, because what was waiting on the other side was so good that you’d forget that you had any in the first place. You’d do it. 

You’d tell Kakashi the next time you saw him. 

***

Why did it always feel too soon, each time he let you go?

You remember it, the last time it happens.

How could you not? The moon’s luminosity the perfect backdrop, incandescent, illuminating that wild silver hair, that crimson eye, that tired eye. His blood gleams under its splendour, under the green light that emanates fruitlessly from your delicate, shaking fingers. Softer than his, but no less enduring. 

It’s all so disgustingly poetic.

He refuses to scream, or shout - just whisper your name, in that restrained, ever-abiding tone. It’s never made you want to scream out more in his turn. You would have done anything to absorb it all in its stead. 

“What are you doing here?” he demands, as if he has the energy to. As if you can answer. As if you don’t see the wounds, the bloodshot-eyes, that compliance of his own mortality. His hand - the one that you were stupid enough to trust in, to think was strong - clenches around yours, calloused, then weakens, loosening its grip. He follows it with another impossible, familiar order. “Get out of here.”

“Shut up. Don’t die on me - please,” you beg, coughing up your words in between the sobs that spill forth, onto his face. The ache, the deep, sharp cramp in your hips, the agonising spark that spreads throughout your lower body, and you repeat your futile mantra two-fold.  

(It hurts. It hurts so much.)

“Y/N, I- I’m sorry,” he begins, moving to use his dwindling force to brush away your healing fingers, “it’s too late for that. Just get somewhere safe. Please.” 

“Shut up,” you repeat. You gasp hoarsely, reinforcing your grip. The pain deepens, in the pit of your throat, your heart, and in your womb, amalgamating together inextricably in some hellish concoction just for you and you alone. “Shut up.”

“I’m sorry,” he repeats. His eyes lid, and suddenly that scar never seems so cutting. It’s all so obvious. He just looks so tired, so… resigned. As if he’s been waiting for this. “I love you.”

“I love you too. So you can’t-”

“It’s over. You know it as well as I do.” 

Somewhere, somewhere deep down, you always knew. You knew, but never wanted to admit it. He’d made his peace with dying, long before you ever met, and you can’t hold him back any longer. It almost feels… cruel. 

(Not as cruel as him.)

His hand drops, dropping with a graceless thud against your damp thigh. “Y-you’re covered in blood. That’s all mine…?”

“Yes,” you lie, voice as thick as the mixture of blood and tears that stain both you and him. “Don’t worry about me.”

He stops - and you almost think he’s going to call you out, like he’s done so many times before. 

(You wish he would.)

You’ve never been able to dupe him. But instead, his eyes crinkle at the corners.

(You love him. You love him so much.)

He smiles that hidden smile, one last time. 

His fingers that fight with yours give up, one last time.

He whispers your name, one last time. 

Why did it always feel too soon, each time Kakashi let you go?

#kakashi x reader #kakashi hatake #kakashi #hatake kakashi #naruto #kakashi imagines #kakashi fanfiction #pfwrites #next up is the Yamato one eeeek #i ain't never written yamato in my life send help #WHY DOES MY STUFF NEVER SHOW IN TAGS??

[ambered-glazed-sheep]

Please do go on about Doomslayer and his morals. I'm legit fascinated by him since starting the let's play I'm watching and I'd love to hear your take on him (I know literally nothing about the Doom franchise other than lots of blood and violence against demons and also badass music)

You know, a year ago when my friends asked me 'hey do you wanna play minecraft' and i said 'yeah sure' i would have never thought i would one day have a minecraft sideblog where i get questions about the personality of the main character of a shooter fps game (of all things!) that is known for its incredible violence.

But here you go:

(prepare yourself this has gotten way longer than i thought oh god, and also it has nothing to do with hermits whatsoever. warnings for language and descriptions of violence? and i assume the readmore won’t be working the way i want it to)

Ok so, Doom!

First of all, i know nothing about the old games, and i’ve only seen a minimal amount of Doom Eternal Letsplays. Most of this is based on Doom (2016). 

Ok so we all start out thinking Doomguy! It’s the guy you play in Doom. The hand that hold the gun YOU are shooting demons with. And sure, you can go trough the whole game with that mindset, but that’s boring and we are overthinking fictional characters in this house.

ID software actually managed to give Doomguy/Doomslayer a TON of personality despite him never saying a word, barely any cutscenes to show what he does when you don’t control him (at least in Doom 2016), and not a lot of other characters to interact with despite enemy monsters.

The game just leaves you little hints and snippets and that’s what makes Doomslayer so exciting to think about. Just the right levels between ‘cryptid half-god who never shows emotion and is a player-insert’ and ‘this dude’s got an AGENDA. he has PLACES TO BE’. You are him as you play, but sometimes he makes decisions on his own. But personally, i could never find myself to disagree.

First, you got the intro sequence. 

You got a unknown voice telling you: 

“They are rage. Brutal, without mercy. But you. You will be worse. Rip and Tear, until it is done.”

First of all, YO. WOW. HOLY SHIT.

The scene immediately shifts to Doomslayer waking up. He’s naked, he’s chained down somewhere, theresa SHIT TON of scars littering his arms and hands. First thing HE does, on his own behalf, is ripping off the chains by flexing a little (literal iron chains!!!), smashing a zombies head against the sarcophagus he lays in and completely obliterating said head into a bit of blood (mind you, three seconds after he woke up from a thousands of years long coma!! but we only learn that later), and then promptly gets up, picks up a pistol, and now it’s your, the players turn. This takes like 8 seconds in total. This man means BUSINESS. That’s the first thing we learn.

Second thing that strikes me is the interactions with Samuel Hayden. 

Doomslayer is patient when a computer voice tells him the status of the base. He is patient as he looks at the screens to see what is going on. (a demonic invasion, thats what). But then dear Dr. Samuel Hayden calls. 

Dr. Hayden says “Hi, i’m the boss here, i’m sure we can work together in a way that benefits us both uwu”. Doomslayer immediately grabs the PC screen and pushes it aside. His gesture says, i’m done with this. im sick of this dude. this guy is full of shit. And he’s right! And that after barely hearing two sentences from Hayden!

So the second thing we learn is that he has no time for people trying to exploit him. He hears Hayden, he has a gut feeling that this dude is a little fishy, maybe he just plain doesnt like higher ups and heads of facilities. But we learn that he IS. NOT. going to listen to this man, and his body language makes that very clear without being actually violent against the person (he doesnt destroy the Screen either! just pushes it aside very annoyed. He isn’t mindlessly destroying property here.)

This continues. 

Hayden goes ‘hey maybe don’t destroy that energy source!’ in the few seconds you dont control him, Doomslayer listens. He hesitates. He considers. Then he destroys the thing anyways. Hayden keeps telling him to stop, but Doomslayer doesnt listen. He’s got his own mind!

This was mostly about Haydens Company, the UAC, harvesting hell energy, and hurting people in the process. 

There’s a scene where Doomslayer rides an elevator. Hayden, over the comms, tells him that everyone that has died in the demon attack was a nacessary sacrifice that will bring a new future or some shit like that. the camera pans down to show some poor sods corpse at those very words. Doomslayer cracks his knuckles. he is NOT HAPPY about that, so we know he doesnt like it when human lifes are sacrificed. He destroys the communicator, so he doesnt have to listen to Haydens voice telling him lies and trying to sway him anymore. 

(then he takes out his shotgun, the doors open, metal starts playing and the doom logo is shown, but that’s more about making the player feel epic than showing doomslayers personality,,)

Now i would like to talk about VEGA, the AI that controls the mars facility. 

VEGA occasionally talks to us/the Slayer. He is very straightforward, tells us what to do and why to do it, and is generally very polite. In the story, Doomslayer listens to Vega. 

Now why does he listen to VEGA but not Hayden? 

I think it’s because Hayden tries to get him to do things that just benefit him, and Hayden is very manipulative in his words (or tries to be lol), while Vega just says (if you destroy this thing, that door will open. I think Doomslayer appreciates it when people are honest to him.

And in the end, Doomslayer on his own decides to save a backup of VEGA. VEGA didn’t ask him to, Doomslayer did that on his own. It’s not relevant to his mission, he doesnt need VEGA to go to hell to close portals and whatnot. But he does save him. Why? I think it’s because he cares. Because he’s come to like VEGA. Because Vega didn’t try to manipulate him and screw him over. 

Next up is the Slayers Testament. 

These are a bunch of writings/recordings that you find scattered in the hell levels. (i highly recommend listening to them/reading them, they are metal as fuck and give me such an immense feeling of power bc they are talking about me, the doomslayer)

These testaments were written by demons. They were genuinely afraid of the slayer. 

Quote:

Unbreakable, incorruptible, unyielding, the Doom Slayer sought to end the dominion of the dark realm.

As said, i don’t think these are purely talking about his physical strength. They are talking about his... well, mentality. His Codex. They see him as an unstoppable force. He is incorruptible. Let that sink in. Man walks trough hordes of demons and at no point ever thinks ‘yeah maybe this is a bit much’ or ‘they just keep coming this is pointless’. No. He’s unyielding. (Can you tell how much i love the words in these testaments? It’s just got such a nice ring to it.)

In battle, the Doomslayer is BRUTAL. He tears apart demons, rips their eyes out, all that. He stomps on heads like they’re water balloons and isn’t fazed at all. Nothing stops this man. (except players like me who fall off the map 5 consecutive times, but lets just imagine the doomslayer is actually like he would be if someone played the game perfectly. player skill shouldn’t be considered in my headcanons jahdjhgd) One could even argue he has fun at this, because there are some animations like ripping off a zombies arm and beating the Zombie with it, or feeding a demon it’s own heart.

I feel like that says a lot about his personality as well!

He doesn’t hesitate. He doesn’t doubt himself. He doesn’t question his cause! He fights to get rid of the demons, not just the ones in his way, but every. demon. He will go out of his way to kill more demons. You could either take this as him having fun, or him following his own moral codex to get rid of every demon, or him being a not-quite-human war machine, or wanting to protect humanity from them. 

I would say it’s a healthy mix of all that :D

In older games, there was this whole backstory snippet of him returning to earth, finding that the demons had invaded his planet but also killed his pet rabbit (Daisy), and he then goes onto a 2-game long revenge trip.Take that as you will.

The last thing i would like to mention is this post.

Please watch the video. Doomguy walks trough the rows of random human guards. This is the walk of a man who doesn’t owe them SHIT. Yes, he wants to save humanity. Yes, he cares. But he also knows who he is. He knows what he did, and what he will do. He doesn’t have to justify himself in front of these shady scientists and jerky guards.THEY owe HIM, in fact. This video emits the sheer CONFIDENCE of someone who has walked trough hell multiple times and knows none of these people could even touch him. Yes, he would never kill them. He would not harm humans. But he doesn’t care about making them uncomfortable with his presence, either. He doesnt ask for permission.

(i think by now i am using the exact same words they did in that post. really, its worth the read. i think there’s a lot of repeated things between this post and that post by now but i encourage you to watch that video. its worth it.)

Also, the impact he has on the people in this room! they trip. they walk backwards. they go quiet, stutter. they are intimidated. They know he’s technically here to help and save them, but now, standing in front of them.... just wow. it really puts things into perspective. it tells the player that all the demons that he’s killed, all that the doomslayer has done... its noted. it has an impact. 

I’m not really sure where i’m going with this anymore, but watching those NPCs react to the slayers presence just adds so much more to his character. it tells us how people see him, and boy.... do they see him. 

i think it also ties a lot into how the player is made feel, controlling doomguy. all these head stomping and limp tearing animations, the guns, people being scared, watching doomslayer destroy important equipment from first pirson or pushing open doors or whatever... it just gives me such an immense feeling of power! i can’t even describe it. (...it also has nothing to do anymore with the original question but holy shit did i love playing doom for the sheer atmosphere of it. despite me being horrible at playing.)

(at the end of this i’m realizing that all of this never addressed if doomslayer is happy and content murdering demons, or if he just wants his peace and quiet but can’t help himself every time he sees a demon. i would propose to leave that up to headcanons. mine is a mix of both but in a way that makes it not angsty. like he loves to have his calm moments, but is just as happy to rip some demon’s spine out. probably gets a little itchy and impatient if he hasn’t fought in a while.)

also if you’re interested in game design and way more professional people talking about why doom 2016 is great i reccomend this documentary

...anyways it’s past 1am and this has gotten way out of hand but

tl;dr: the doomslayer is metal as fuck, he has a lot of agenda he is following, and i love him so much

#amber talks #doom #where do i even begin with this? #i wanted to answer this in the morning but that was over an hour ago now #jdakjsdhasdjh i can't help myself theres so much to say about doom!!!! #you asked for this anon #it's just so... *clenches fist* #i forgot of course that the music is pretty much the best thing ever and i've been listening to it SO MUCH while writing litve #everything about this game is designed to make you feel powerful and HOLY SHIT is it working #id software did a great job #i watched a whole documentary on this it was great #...yeah i study 3d stuff this is pretty much in m #my field haha #i've just had all these feelings in me for months and now that someone showed the slightest hint of interest it's all coming out #sorry its so unorganized i tried to at least take one point after the other #now to write another essay on why the slayer and the mandalorian are very alike in some parts but mando is so much softer #(its because slayer has been trough hell and back while mando still has hope in the world) #(i mean mando is a jaded and tough bounty hunter but all that he is doomslayer is cranked up to eleven) #(shush now i said in another essay! go to bed) #(....its not gonna be an essay its gonna be a fanfic and its gonna be great) #(mando is such a softie......) #*pushes my mando/slayer agenda on my side blog as well* ah i see #long post #...very long post #hey i've hit 2k words with this! #....i've written litve chapters that are shorter #EDIT: WAIT FUCK I THINK I MIXED UP THE SECURITY GUARDS LINES WITH A FIC I READ ONCE #or did i gave EX that line in the last ask i answered???? #i'm??? im gonna go to sleep lol

[chuffyfan87]

Hiding. Part 45c (NSFW)

"Yes."

“What would you like me to do?”

"You keep dodging the question so now I really want to know what idea you've got in mind but won't tell me!"

“I’m not dodging the question.” He laughed. “I want you to boss me about, demand what you want!”

"Well... What could I possibly make you do..?" She pondered with a mischievous grin.

“Anything.” He nipped her neck and her shoulder.

"No marks above the neck! I've got to look presentable at the school tomorrow!"

“So does that mean I get to leave love bites in places only I can see?”

"Only if you're a good boy..." She grinned. "I could play naughty nurse for you if you promise not to make a mess."

“Go on then. Play naughty nurse for me, though I’m not sure I won’t make a mess.”

She slid from the bed and reached into the bag she'd been checking earlier. "Well I need this to be clean by tomorrow morning so you can wash it if you make a mess."

“I’ll be nice and do that.” He watched her.

"Aha!" She found what she was looking for and held it up. "This is practically vintage now so you need to treat it with care."

He bit his lower lip. “I’ll be careful. Least I’ll try...”

"No peeking!" She warned as she disappeared into the bathroom.

“I’ll keep my eyes shut.”

"Good!" A couple of minutes later after several muttered curses the door reopened followed by the sound of plastic rustling and metal clinking. "You can open your eyes now."

He opened his eyes as she entered the bedroom.

"Well, what do you think? I gave up on the belt but not bad considering it's ten years since I last wore it."

“You look... Wow!” He was speechless.

"Feel free to take it off me as quick as you like because I can barely breath right now!"

“Come here?” He moved out of the bed and sat on the edge. He pulled her towards him, “You are incredible.”

"I was expecting it to be tight round the waist but not the chest."

“Well your breasts have grown a bit.” He ran his finger over her breasts.

"So it seems." Her breath caught as he moved his fingers, causing the buttons of the dress to strain further.

“You’re going to pop out of that if you’re not careful.” He undid a button, that caused her breasts to spill out.

She let out the breath she'd been holding.

“I remember the first time I fucked you in this, do you?”

"Of course I do. I couldn't work out what the hell I'd done wrong when you summoned me to your office. I was all ready for a fight..."

xxx

“Duffy, my office, now!!” He bellowed to Duffy in cubicles. He was in a fool mood for some reason, snapping at everyone.

Duffy shared a look with the nurse she'd been assisting and rolled her eyes. Turning she followed Charlie's fast disappearing figure in the direction of his office. She had been wondering all shift what had been eating him and now it seemed she was about to find out. "So I'm the chosen one then?" She asked sarcastically as she entered the office.

“Can anyone do anything right around here?” He grumbled as he looked up from sitting on the edge of his desk and told her to shut the door.

"They're all trying their best but that doesn't seem enough for you today so go on, get it out your system." She folded her arms across her chest. "Shout at me if it'll make you feel better and stop you snapping at the staff for the slightest thing."

“I didn’t invite you in here to shout at you!”

"Really? You could have fooled me. You summoned me like a naughty schoolgirl about to get the cane from the headmaster!" She moved her hands to her hips, a defiant look in her eyes. "That's not my job but speaking as your friend you need let out whatever has been stuck up your butt all day!"

Her folding her arms across her chest simply drew his attention to just how full her breasts were. Watching the way she put a hand on her hip, Charlie bit his lower lip hard. “What if you were to be punished like a naughty schoolgirl?” He got up and walked towards her.

"You want me to bend over and take one for the team coz you're in a mood?"

“You know you want to.” He met her gaze and held it.

"I don't know what you mean." She replied as she reached behind her and flicked the door lock. The click echoed through the thick atmosphere in the room.

He closed the gap between them and looked down at her lips. Then back up to her eyes.

She bit her lip as she watched his gaze roam over her.

“You’ve been distracting me all day.” He said quietly as he edged his lips closer to hers.

"I haven't done anything." She whispered.

“Believe me, just looking at you is enough to distract me. Never mind being in the same room.” His lips connected with hers.

She wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him closer.

His hands began to roam her body. Touching her hips, her bum and her breasts.

She tangled her fingers in his hair, parted her lips and her tongue sought out his.

His tongue sort dominance over hers.

Her hands moved around to the front of his shirt and loosened his tie. She then began to unbutton his shirt as she felt his hands go to her belt.

He unfastened her belt and threw it, the belt landing on the floor by his desk.

She couldn't quite believe what was happening as he began to unbutton her dress. Yes they'd had sex before but that had been a drunken hook up in a carpark nearly two years ago now. This time they were sober and at work. It was so very wrong but at the same time felt so right.

He pulled her towards the desk, his hands tearing roughly at her dress.

She pulled his shirt from his trousers as he pushed her back onto the desk.

He grabbed her breasts hard, his tongue sucking hers.

She pushed his shirt and white coat from his shoulders and unbuckled his belt, her hands cupping the large bulge evident through his trousers.

He groaned loudly at the feel of her hand against his bulge. He was hard, painfully so.

She wriggled slightly on the desk so that he could achieve his aim of yanking her knickers down as she freed his cock from his trousers, running her hand along his hardened length as soon as she had.

He yanked down her knickers, his fingertips tiptoeing up and down her inner thighs. Feeling her hand begin to move up and down his length, Charlie groaned.

"What if someone hears us?" She whispered urgently, her breathing growing faster as his hands roamed higher.

“Then I suggest we both be quiet.” He whispered as he licked her earlobe. His hands grabbed her breasts.

She moaned as she wrapped her legs around his waist.

Charlie guided himself into her and groaned as he filled her.

"You feel so good!" She whispered lustfully.

“So do you.” He replied.

She ran her fingers through his hair as she kissed him passionately.

He deepened the kiss as he began to move.

"Harder! Faster!" She moaned into his mouth.

Encouraged by her moans and words, Charlie moved harder and faster. His hands against her hips.

As her passions grew her mind couldn't help but once more flash back to the previous time they'd been together.

It had been a great night but they’d had far too much to drink. Shots, whiskey, wine.

It had all conspired to lead them to being alone together outside in the carpark. This time they had no such excuse.

“I much prefer this.” He whispered in her ear, “Fucking you whilst sober.”

"You'll remember it all this time." She nipped her teeth on his earlobe.

“Uh huh.” He attempted to keep his moans quiet but couldn’t.

"Oh shit!" She moaned loudly.

“Ssh.” He replied. He bit her neck and sucked her collarbone. “Oh shit!! Duffy!”

She moaned again, louder still as his lips found a particularly sensitive spot at the base of her neck.

He sucked against her neck, against the sensitive spot. His hand moved down her front, groped her breasts, down her stomach and to her clit. His fingers began to play with her other sensitive spot, wanting to tip her over the edge.

"Shit! Fuck!" She moaned as her orgasm began to rush upon her.

“Shit, shit babe!” He got faster for a moment, pounding her hard before he began to climax himself.

"Charlie!" She couldn't help but shout as she came hard.

It was in that moment, he blurted out. “I love you.”

Her eyes had been closed but they shot open wide as she heard his words.

His head was resting in the crook of her neck, his breathing heavy.

She looked up at the ceiling, convincing herself that she must have misheard him.

“I don’t have any right to say that to you.” He whispered, “But I do.”

"I..." She didn't know what to say, she was so confused by what had happened between them.

He didn’t want to move from his current position but it wasn’t the time or the place.

As soon as he moved she began to silently gather her clothes and redress.

“Can we... Talk about this tonight?”

"OK." She smiled shyly as she readjusted her stockings.

“Thank you.” He watched her whilst getting himself dressed at the same time.

xxx

In the present day, Charlie’s hands began to undo all the buttons on Duffy’s dress. “The first time I ever told you I loved you was then. Do you remember?”

She nodded. "It totally threw me. I didn't know how to react..."

“I wasn’t just fucking you because I needed a release.” He ran his fingertips against her swollen stomach

"Well it certainly improved your mood that day! I, on the other hand, didn't know what the hell to do with myself!" She sighed, her gaze focused on his hand.

“Because you felt used?” He looked up to meet her gaze.

She bit her lip. "A bit." She admitted sadly.

“I’m sorry.” He sighed. “Why didn’t you tell me that’s how you felt?”

"You weren't the first or the last to treat me like that during those years." She shrugged.

“But I wasn’t... I wasn’t the same as them.” He kissed her stomach.

"I know that now. But back then I thought that's what I deserved."

“Im so sorry.”

"Don't apologise, its in the past now." She told him as she sat down on his lap.

He placed his hands against her hips.

She kissed him softly.

“I love you. So much.”

"I love you too." She smiled. "This has stayed on longer than I thought it was going to!" She giggled, gesturing to her uniform that hung open.

“Sorry.” He smiled and pulled it off.

"Well now you're overdressed!" Though she now sat in just her knickers he was still wearing boxers and a tshirt.

“Undress me then.”

"Stand up."

“I would but you’re sitting on my lap.”

She swung her legs around and slowly slid from his lap.

“I enjoyed you in that position.” He replied as he stood up.

"I thought you preferred me on my knees..." She giggled as she pulled his tshirt from his boxers.

“Now that’s my favourite ever position. You on your knees.”

"I'm amazed I don't have permanent carpet burns on my knees!" She pulled his tshirt over his head.

“You’ve knelt on the bed a lot. Especially recently.”

"Comfort is important!" She ran her fingers under the waistband of his boxers.

“It is with you, yes.”

"Especially given my 'delicate' condition." She mocked, rolling her eyes.

“You are very delicate at the minute.”

#chuffy #charlie and duffy #charlie fairhead #lisa duffin

[jack-andthestalk]

Bad Decisions

Chapter 1

This is is my first attempt at I hope will be a multi part fanfic, obviously please say if you would like more ..

“Sassenach, did ye no hear me?

Clarie looked at him with a blank expression and prehaps a little annoyance in the look.

“Sorry Jamie, did you want me?

“Aye I was asking did you want to come with the rest of us to mill later for a dip”?

“Eh no, sorry Jamie I can't, if you’ll excuse me Im running late”

And with that she waved her beautiful head of curly hair and disappeared down the corridor. Jamie's stomach tightened He knew there was something seriously amiss with Claire this past few weeks but this was probably the first time she had blanked him so, she couldn't even bear to look at him.

The rest of the day he spent going over how wrongly he had assessed his plan in order to win Claire’s affections, he had long sought her attention, and had recently been inspired by a story Rupert had told him on winning his girlfirends Lizzie heart, and put his plan into action.

Claire lived on the border of his familys land, her uncle had bought several acres from his father about 6 years ago and with that Claire Beauchamp had swanned, flew or glided into his life...she was even at a young 12 years old the most beautiful thing he ever clapped his striking blue eyes on and although he didn't recognise it straight away, he later learned that he was falling in love with her while they struggled through their teenage years. But it was a big bridge to gap trying to turn them from childhood friends to something more as the years went on and Claire grew into a young woman it was hard to ignore her beauty, she was a fire cracker too in temperament too and extremely intelligent. But they had the awkard almost brother sister relationship due to their neighbour status and given that she was his sisters best friend, it only made it harder to get her to see him in any other light than the boy next door.

When Rupert began one night telling him over the stolen whiskey from his father Brian's stash, how he had eventually got lizzys attention , Jamie thought it was genius! he felt like alarm bells went off in his head. Lizzie Rupert’s girlfriend and long time crush simply had never noticed him so after Rupert began dating a string of lassies in senior year, it quickly got lizzies interest and the rest is history, they were now inseperable.

Jamie thought this was gold! He himself knew he could turn lassies heads, his height and build had come into their own the past couple of years and he worked hard in the gym and the football pitch to keep his fitness in top form. His red hair just made him stand out further, so he began his quest to date a few lassies from their year in the hope that it would have the same effect on Claire as it had on Lizzie.

He began with gusto after Hogmanay , he was nearly thinking he might not have to after His father Brian asked Claire and her uncle to spend Hogmanay with his family, he had spent a lovely holiday with Claire . Eating and drinking and lying on the couch in the family room watching movies with Jen and Ian, she had leaned up against him and he had slid his arm around her shoulder, he was in heaven . Later that evening he had grumbled over the sentimental movie Jenny had picked and she had laughed and looked up from his shoulder saying ‘poor baby’ in her cute little English accent, she was staring straight into his eyes so without conscious thought more a magnetic pull he had bent down and put his lips to hers beautiful full warm lips, and was just about to start exploring each other’s mouths when Jenny jumped up and turned on the lights making them jump apart. Damn Janet! God for the few seconds it lasted was like bliss He was sure he had turned her heart a tad after this but once they went back to school she had been quiet with him again and returned to their previous friendship status, so as he fought against the idea of dating others he eventually decided to start the dating game ...

The first few lassies were nice enough girls and he had no problem bringing them to the movies or for a bite to eat but they weren’t Claire and he missed her. He continued on though , a few times just in order to get right under her nose he had brought a date along with their mutual gang of friends , and although she was quiet with him and hoped he had seen a little bit of longing in her eyes she was nothing but courteous and even friendly to the lassies he had tag along.

Well that was until he had brought along the latest and last of his dates. Laoighaire Mc Kimmie, he had known Claire disliked her through school not sure exactly the reason but Laoighaire was the type of girl pleasant enough to the lads but didn’t exactly encourage female companionship, so he just put Claire’s dislike down to that. Laoighaire was pleasant enough to have on your arm and while she was a long way off Claire’s striking beauty she was a Bonnie enough wee thing. He had gone to a few of the lassies beds but that was more his cock in action than him and although the ending was the same he didn’t exactly feel any of them had set him alight . Not the way he felt when he only looked at Claire never mind having her in his bed .

Well it all went wrong after he brought Laoghaire out a few times, Claire left early the first time and didn’t rejoin the gang after that. He soon blew Laoghaire off , and Claire after much persuasion from Jenny rejoined the group outings but she all but ignored Jamie despite his constant invitations or try at flirtation .

That evening after thinking on Claire’s last reaction to him he could take no more and as much as he loathed to get her advise he knocked softly on his sisters door to seek her advise on the matter, as far as he was aware Jenny wasn’t aware of his true feelings for Claire but he could simply broach the subject as a concerned friend ... or that was the plan .

“Come in, oh Jamie what’s up?”

“Eh Jenny, I was just wondering ... Em .. the thing is..”

“Spit it out brother !!”

“I was just em wondering if you knew if there was .. eh .. something up with Claire?”

If Jenny was expecting this question she hid it well under her slanted blue eyes identical to his own .

“Wrong with her? In what way brother?”

Christ she wasn’t going to make this easy!

“Well it’s just she seems to be nearly off with me or something , I can’t quite put my finger on it but she seems to be running away from me every time I see her”

“Oh”

Jenny clearly knew exactly what was wrong .

She lowered her head and pressed her lips together.

“Well I’d imagine it’s to do with Laoghaire”

For a minute his heart soared so maybe his plan had worked if Claire was jealous over Laoghaire . Maybe she still thought he was seeing her, maybe she had engaged in the game to show him what he was missing .. well she needn’t bother with that, he knew fine well already..

“Oh right Jenny I see”

“Do ye though brother?”

“I think so aye, she isn’t keen on me dating the lassie”

“Well maybe that is partially it’ she replied hesitantly ‘but it’s more that you’ve hurt her truly’

Hurt her! Christ he hadn’t thought of that. Claire was too strong willed to have a bit of childish jealousy hurt her. God that was never his intention...

‘Jenny why ... eh what I mean to say is ..

Before he could continue Jenny cut him off.

‘It’s not the dating it’s the person you picked’ she continued. She looked at Jamie as if he could either be mad or stupid.

‘Oh right.. well I Dinna intend on seeing Laoghaire again so il explain that to her..’

‘Jamie I can tell you don’t know the full truth of it so I’m going to explain it to you like you’re 3’

He raised his eyes here but eager for her to continue ..

Laoghaire has treated Claire terrible since she joined our school 6 years ago has done all types of terrible unmentionable acts , wrote on the bathroom walls how Claire is a slut and to be honest that’s the mildest example’ tripped her up in public, called her names in front of the class, she has bad mouthed her to almost all of the football team , although I Dinna think that put any of them off wanting to date Claire’ she continued but that was Laoighaire’s intention.

The last part made Jamie’s heart twist, it never occurred to him that while he played his dating game he had stiff competition from nearly all of his team mates for Claire’s heart! Christ what if she ...

Jenny was on a role though, so she continued to explain as if he was three..

‘In general though she made Claire’s life a living hell’

Jamie wanted the floor to swallow him whole.

“Christ Jenny you cannae think I knew any of this.. I would never .. ever have involved myself with the lassie had I known ..’

‘Aye Jamie I ken that but it nae the point is it?’

‘Janet .. please explain to her I Dinna ken ..’

‘Jamie’ she stopped him.

‘Claire is the loyalist sole I know to her it shouldna mattered what Laoghhaire exactly did to her or if you knew the details of it ..you kenned well Claire didn’t like her, of all the girls you could have picked Jamie what possessed you to pick her!!’

Jenny was exasperated she looked like she wanted to kill him. He didn’t blame her oh god what a fool he was. He couldn’t answer her last question.

The answer stuck in Jamie’s throat, he couldn’t bring himself to confess to Jenny why he had chosen Laoghaire to get Claire’s attention , he already felt enough of a fool.

His heart was literally hurting in his chest. Oh god how would he ever make Claire see.

Jenny maybe having seen his crest fallen expression continued a little more softly.

‘Jamie if the shoe was reversed and Claire kenned someone you mistrusted she would never give them the time of day.. you know she turned down Tom Christie because she knows you dinna like him, Claire told him as much that was on account of her friendship with you, so when you had Laoghaire on your arm he took great delight in chastising her that you dinna return her loyalty, Claire just kept her head held high even though through those weeks you were seeing Laoghaire , she still picked on Claire and pulled her stupid silly tricks. Tell ya the truth Jamie I wanted to knock her out cold but Claire wouldna let me. Claire is too dignified . God even Ian, Angus and Rupert are annoyed at you for bringing that girl around our gang Claire hasn’t been the same since!

Jenny spat the last sentence at him,Jamie actually had a lump in his throat and he wanted to cry.

The look on his sisters face told him there was something else , at this stage he knew he had tears in his eyes so Jenny hesitantly continued but he knew she had to say it that this conversation had been on Jenny’s mind for longer than he realised . She loved Claire and was absolutely 100% raging with him for hurting her so.

‘Jamie’ she said at last ..

‘Of all the girls you dated for God’s sake Laoighaire is the one girl that is the least discreet .. do ye no think that even I have heard about you taking her to bed ? you honestly think Claire escaped Laoighaire taunting her of what it felt like to have you ?

‘Jesus Jamie!’ You do even ken the damage you’ve done to yer friendship.

Jamie thought he heard his heart break

#outlander fanfic #outlander #jamiefraser #claire beauchamp #jamie fraser #jenny fraser

[diabolikpersonals]

Like, what do you think of them generally?

alright alright alright alright alright thank u for the opportunity to talk about diaboys!!! I appreciate it ! under a read more bc I ranted forever

LAITO:

My first exposure to dialovers was the anime so my first impression towards Laito was like “oh, he’s the flirty one - oh shit he’s banging her in a church, you cant do that, thats nuts lol” but as I got more into the games, Laito became SO IMPORTANT TO ME??? especially like his relationships, w/ ALL the characters like his brothers and yui and the other families and everything! I especially love learning more about his relationship with Ayato and Kanato because it’s so dang complex. His feelings towards his triplet bros is really complicated because he loves them and you know he loves them but his trauma w/ his mom sort of fucks it all up so he’s got like this genuinely nice and kind and loving personality fighting against this trauma and warped view of the concepts of love and family that Cordelia gave him, and what you get is, “I love my family and I hope they die” and throughout the games u learn more about the reasons why he has those world views and it’s SO GOOD Laito is such a well thought-out character!?! As a writer Laito delights me but as a fan, his whole deal makes me so dang sad djhfghjdkdfd

That’s why I was so fucking satisfied w/ Laito in the Laito vs Shin cd because you got a bunch of the darker stuff surrounding him (his tendency to push people off of buildings, that FUCKING VOICE DROP he does when he’s genuinely mad) and Laito was like...he was SCARY. And he was scaring YUI and he was scaring HIMSELF, too, which made me so sad!! Laito was like crying and punching walls and being like “why am I acting like this??” and it fuckin broke my heart dude. He’s a genuinely good person, he’s so wonderful, but he’s recovering from some really really nasty stuff. So that cd really gave me a sense of like, “Man, Laito hates this just as much as I do.” It makes me want to...idk...it makes me want to give him more opportunities to be good. He really is good!!!

KANATO:

As for my first impression, I think Kanato turned me off right away because I could instantly recognize all the tropes they were gonna use when they were designing him. You can look at him and tell that he’s gonna be the ~yandere~ character (I hate using that word but u know what tropes I’m talking about). As soon as they showed him eating a bunch of sweets I was like “yep.” When they showed us his room full of wax dolls, I was like “uh huh, that seems about right.” And then he yelled a lot and tried to stab Yui for making him french toast or whatever and I was like “ok.........I’ll go start ayato’s route” u know??? just super not my type, and the Kanato vs Azusa cd was torture because Azusa’s so soft-spoken but Kanato’s always yelling at the top of his lungs. I had to keep messing with the volume and it bugged me.

I think I would like Kanato a lot more if he...had a...friend. I think rejet kinda realized that he needed one and they had that in mind when they were introducing Azusa, but that ended up being a pretty bad failure I think. Kanato doesn’t really get along with anyone and he’s pretty open about admitting that he doesn’t like anyone particularly well. I’m glad to see him starting to love Yui genuinely but...idk I feel like every other diaboy has another diaboy(s) that he gets along with really well and it’s always nice to see them acting friendly and even encouraging each other sometimes! Kanato doesn’t really have that kind of relationship with anyone. When Ayato tried to reach out and apologize in LE, Kanato was like “lol kill yourself” and I was actually so fuckin mad at him, I was like “boy if you don’t fix that attitude of yours-”..........I guess I just wish that he had more character development by this point. That scene really hurt.

RUKI:

Basically the WORST first impression ever...my first Ruki scene that I ever saw was when he broke the cat’s neck and I was so pissed. I was like “immediately fuck this guy” and he became my least favorite character right away. And on top of that he was really elitist and one of those jerk intellectuals “ohhh solve this puzzle or STAY OUT THERE IN THE COLD you big dumb idiot. im smart and you’re not” and I was like FUCK this guy, how does yuma put up with him with HIS backstory?

But I hella warmed up to him during MB, like especially during Reiji’s route where Ruki was like “...uh...okay” the whole time jhdghdj that shit was hilarious. Ruki started feeling really real. And I think that like...hm...like if Laito is a genuinely good person surrounded by bad influence, Ruki is the opposite - he’s a bad personality surrounded by good influence. Ruki’s a jerk and he’s been a jerk his whole life but he has these wonderful brothers who love him so much and this lovely angel Yui and he’s just got all these good people who look up to him and he has to be good. This little asshole kid who treated all his servants like shit is now cooking dinner for his three adoptive brothers every day and they love him so much and they love him so much. It’s so fucking satisfying. I love seeing him supporting his brothers even though it conflicts with his personality and his main drive, like letting Kou run away with Yui even though Kou couldn’t become Adam. Ruki’s most important thing in MB was making one of the Mukamis become Adam but he gave that up to let Kou be happy. That shit is so important. Ruki was such a fuckin turnaround for me, I hated him at first but now I love the hell out of him and what he represents for the Mukamis.

KOU:

Kou is great!! I think he’s affected lots of characters in really positive ways, and he’s been affected in positive ways by different characters and it’s really nice to see. For sure he’s still got that trauma from his past but I really appreciate that Kou is in an environment that doesn’t have a lot of reminders of the bad stuff from his childhood. Like, how Kou was sought after for being such a beautiful child, and how he was trapped in a dark place for such a long time. There’s none of that shit when he lives with the Mukamis. Rejet could’ve easily put in tons of haunting reminders about Kou’s whole “too beautiful for his own good” thing but whenever he gets complimented, it’s usually for something different. Azusa will talk about how talented and amazing he is, and Kino’ll be like “idol clothes are pretty nuts huh? lol” and Ruki will be like “you’re working properly after all” and I fuckin love that shit...They could’ve made it so dang hard for Kou, but no, he’s in a much happier place now. He’s nice and comfortable being with these people. That makes me feel relieved lol

I already talked about how he helped Ruki but I think the most important relationship with a diaboy that he has is SUBARUUUUU cuz like, when you look at Subaru’s route you’re like “oh he definitely needs a friend, I’m glad he has a gf but he was so dang lonely and self-deprecating that he DEFINITELY just needs a genuine good friend” and then Kou showed up and he was like “guess what subaru? we’re gonna be friends, I’ve decided” and subaru was like “???” and MB happened and by the end of it Subaru was like “I took everything you said really seriously and I do want to be friends with you..............im not gonna say it out loud tho. let’s just shake hands ok” and I was like AW HECK YEAH!!!!! And then you keep seeing nice little reminders that they’re friends in other games, like in either LP or VC (Im sorry I literally cannot tell these two games apart) they were picking out hair accessories together for Yui, and in the Subaru vs Kou cd, Kou asks Subaru at the end if he had fun, and in LE Kou gave Subaru that pep talk and made Subaru laugh, and Subaru was like “Kou if I’m gonna die then I want you to kill me” and Kou was like “But I don’t want you to die!” and Subaru was like “you dont??? you actually care? about ME???” ITS SO FUCKING GOOD DUDE Subaru needed Kou so badly. Thank god for Kou honestly

KINO:

It was weird like...I was so mad at him during certain routes but I could never actually dislike him. It’s because he’s so dang funny tbh. He literally killed some of my favorite characters but then he would say a funny line and I’d be like “haha, I’m glad kino is here!” like it’s almost scary how charismatic he is towards both the other characters and to me, the player. He asked nicely if he could kill Shu and Shu was like “ok, sure.” Kino is hands down my fav villain because of this. Especially because you can really tell that deep down he wants to be a real member of the Sakamaki family and like he genuinely wants to be friends with people like Yuma and Kou, and he’s got the whole villain-turned-awkward-family-member trope which I LOVE. Like especially in that drama cd where he was like “I never get to go to school so I want to do home ec with you guys! Let’s make donuts!” and Kou was like “ok!!!” and kou tries to be super positive and encouraging the whole time even though Kino was actually secretly plotting to blow the place up. Kino looks like an idiot but he’s a genius tbh

and and and and and and I want him to kiss yuri. I think yuri is super in love w/ kino too, despite the fact that he’s. annoying. thats all I got dhgfdjskj...I love the childhood-friends-to-lovers trope so fuckin much

CARLA:

hey carla fuck you

I was really mad at him for his actions in DF mostly ^^; And tbh it’s really hypocritical because it was a group effort between both of the Tsukinamis, but I ended up loving Shin and hating Carla. Kino also did similar bad stuff to Carla, but I ended up loving him while hating Carla. So, why?

Well here’s fuckin why. Shin and Kino are cute & funny. They have their nice little payoff moments - maybe Shin hurt one of my favorite characters, but then you get to see how bubbly and energetic he gets around his big brother. He was walking one of his wolves around christmas time while wearing a red jacket and a random kid approached him thinking he was santa claus. That’s adorable! For a long time, Carla didn’t have anything like that. And he was a jerk to absolutely everyone, including Shin, who was so dang devoted to him!! Like remember in the DF cds where he was like “hey shin, the plan is we suck her blood until she’s purified from the vampires” and shins like “ok nii-san got it” and he started sucking her blood, exactly like he was ordered to, and then carla came in and STABBED HIM and was like “hey dont touch my property” like SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK CARLA U TOLD HIM TO DO IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!! IT WAS THE PLAN

And he fucked Ayato up real bad in DF so I was so mad...;; I only recently started forgiving him once diatwitter and LE started up. Diatwitter let us see his cute old grandpa side where he fuckin wanders around amusement parks by himself like some kind of cryptid and kou keeps being like “wait was that carla? what the heck??” and LE gave us some pretty nice stuff like carla being like “ur definitely my brother, shin” so...carla is ok I guess...but then again LE also gave us some bad carla moments like “if ur not actually a founder then u lied to me and im gonna kill u” so basically uh?? carla’s just a jerk I think. I’m warming up to him at a snail’s pace but he’s still a jerk. sucks about the endzeit tho, I hope he’s like permanently ok now

#text #Anonymous

[seeking-ye-first-blog]

From LGBT to Woman of God-My Journey to Becoming a Christian

When trying to piece together my story, it's hard to pinpoint exactly where I should begin, but I feel in my spirit that I should start from none other than the beginning where God first sought to capture my heart. 

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” Proverbs‬ ‭22:6‬ ‭NIV‬‬

The only example that I had ever seen when it came to pursuing a relationship with Christ came from my grandmother Ms. Isabel. Like most children, I adored my grandmother and it is she that planted the first seeds of faith into my heart. I learned as a child to love God and that Sundays were set aside to worship him. There came a time, however, when my mother separated us from our family here in good ol Wisconsin, and moved us back to her hometown in Pennsylvania. I no longer had the influence of my grandmother and my mother spoke nothing of a relationship with the lord, and so I grew up of course to lead my life according to the ways of the world.

At the age of 11, my mother having known that I did enjoy attending church from time to time with other friends, heard of a Christian camp about an hour from our town. Before I knew it, i was registered for a full week overnight to attend High Point Baptist Camp. I believe with all my heart that this was one of the greatest acts of love my mother could have ever done for me, because it was at this camp where I fell in love with Jesus again. Although I did not know him well, I wanted to know him. I spent each summer from the age of 11 to 15 at this camp, and every year I received a healing, a peace, a joy that I had not experienced back home. Home was not always the sanctuary for me that it should have been.

The summer of 2006 was the last I had seen of High Point and little did I know, it would be the beginning of a whole new work the lord would begin in me that would lead me to the day I received Christ as my savior.

I faced many challenges in the home some that were a result of my own poor choices and some that were out of my control. As a result, I suffered from much verbal and physical abuse from my mother. I will say for the record, my mother wasn't a bad mother. My brother and I were well cared for, but I did not know love in the form of words of affirmation or affection. I was torn down with words and the stresses of my mothers life were often taken out on me leaving me with a pain that could only be healed by Our God.

As we neared the end of 2006 I started to seek God in a way that I had never sought him before. I took my old King James Bible with me everywhere. Even to school. I knew nothing but the Psalms, but the little I knew offered me comfort. I prayed Psalms 23 everyday and asked God to remove me from my mother's care. I thought he would remove me and allow me to stay in Pennsylvania with other family, but of course we know that although he may answer our prayers he doesn't always answer them the way we think or want. Instead, I was removed and sent to Milwaukee, WI, a city that I had not seen since i was a little girl. I knew nothing and no one except for my grandmother.

January of 2007, I traveled to a new place. A place that I loathed. A place that made me cringe. A place that I could not get away from, YET, it was the very place I needed to be.

“From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us.” ‭‭Acts‬ ‭17:26-27‬ ‭NIV‬‬

I was sent to live with an old friend of my mother's. I moved in with a family that were strangers to me. You know, those kind that say they remember you from when you were little but you have no clue who they are? Yea...it was one of those. For a year and a half I was deeply depressed. The only time I left my room was for dinner and school. The following summer, my mother sent for my return to Pennsylvania and by this time I had finally began to accept my place in Wisconsin and didn't want to go back, but of course as a minor I had no choice. Everything seemed to be going well until i suffered from abuse again for no reason. I did my best to work through being at a whole new school for the 2nd time. I went to school, participated in activities, and came home. I studied and got good grades. I was a good 17 year old kid. I always tried to do my best, but it never seemed to be enough. I decided that I would not accept my mother's abuse anymore, and in January of 2009 after turning 18 in December I returned to Milwaukee. I enrolled back into the high school I had attended previously, graduated with honors, and enlisted in the United States Army.

In early June of 2009 as I waited to leave for Basic training by July 28th, i started a romantic relationship that would become my kryptonite. Angel was her name, and although she would be the first and only woman that I would ever love, I had known for some time (since a young girl about 8 yrs old) that I had an attraction to members of the same sex. My relationship with Angel was exciting, exhilarating, passionate, but it was toxic not to mention manipulative. Of course what's that saying? Oh right..."love" is blind, and this relationship was an addiction that I could not shake. I gave up my military career to pursue Angel, and in return she broke my heart. The spring and early summer of 2010 I was broken over the relationship I had with Angel. I tried seeing another woman to get over her and I spent many nights praying for God to restore what we had. He, however, had other plans.

Summer of 2010, I had a dream that deeply disturbed me. I dreamt I died and my soul was falling to hell. Before this dream, I had never thought about life after death. I always thought that I wasn't afraid to die, but this dream made me afraid of where I would go when I died. I remember thinking, "I'm a good person, but what if being a 'good person' isn't enough?" I was encouraged by a friend of mine to pray, and while I had no clue where to begin because I had not spoken to God in a long time, I somehow managed to ask "show me that you are real." Very strange and supernatural things started to happen to me. I found myself in random conversations with people about God, death, and eternal life. People I had trusted and who did not care about my sexual preferences were now telling me it was wrong or sinful, and I began having more dreams about the spiritual realm and experiences with demonic entities. I was officially spooked, but instead of scaring me a way from God it made me want to run to God. So another prayer was spoken. "Lord, i want to go to church, but I don't know where to go. I want a good church. A church where people really love you. They practice what they preach. I want to have friends. I want to have family. I want to feel like I'm apart of something." I spoke these words, closed my eyes, and went to sleep.

Sometime later on an early morning I was at work. I was a shift leader at Auntie Anne's pretzels and the mall had just opened at 10am. A young college kid about 22 named Becca and a this guy named` Sean would be my first customers. At least that's what I thought, but instead Becca approached my counter and said, "hi I'm Becca and I go to this AMAZING church called the Milwaukee Church of Christ, and I was wondering if you would ever like to come out or study the Bible?!" I immediately in that moment knew that this was an act of God, and so without hesitation I said "yes! I just prayed about this!" We exchanged numbers and planned to meet for a bible study.

It's funny to think back to this time, because I really had no clue what I was getting myself into. I guess you just never know how God will come into your life and completely blow your mind! At this point, I believed there was a God, but I was a bible skeptic. I didn't believe every word from it, but then again I never truly gave it a chance either. I told Becca openly that I identified with being a lesbian and I didn't believe it was wrong so therefore disagreed with the Bible on that stance. I just remember how loving she was. She didn't care about that or at least she didn't show that she cared, which was rare. Most Christians I knew of always had something to say immediately about that. She just wanted me to get to know Jesus and so I did.

I began devouring the book of John and I believe this is where I truly met Jesus for the first time. I fell in love with his character, and his interactions with people blew me away! It was unlike anything I had ever seen or heard or read about. I was deeply moved by the scriptures, but deep down I still had that question of whether or not loving a woman romantically was wrong.

It was at my 3rd bible study with Becca where the lord opened my eyes to a truth my soul had been seeking. I don't remember what study we were on, but I remember the scripture:

“Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self (soul)?” ‭‭Luke‬ ‭9:23-25‬ ‭NIV‬‬

I can't explain what happened to me in this moment. All I know was that the Sun was beaming on me and it was as if I heard a small voice that said to me, "Lilly you know what must be done." And IMMEDIATELY I knew in my heart that I had to walk away from my life as a lesbian. I just knew I was in sin. I just knew it was wrong. I just knew I did not truly know God. I just knew I needed to repent. And I lost it. I became so overwhelmed with sorrow that I wept and I wept. Becca and a young gal named Kelly who were both studying with me at that time looked me and asked what was wrong. My response: "IM GOING TO HELL!" I was hysterical, but they comforted me and told me I still had time.

I'm sure they thought, "what is going on with this girl?" But when I say something supernatural took over that day and it hit me like a ton of bricks, I'm telling you it was something serious and boy did it hurt. Notice how the scripture has absolutely nothing to do with homosexuality. Nothing at all, and yet God’s spirit moved and spoke to me. I felt God's presence that day and it will forever be a moment in time that I will never forget.

Was I baptized right away? Not a chance! I finally knew the truth, but I was not ready to accept it. I took several months off from studying the Bible and went back about my life, but God was not done with me yet and through Becca he fought for me still. After about 6 months, I was convinced to return to visit the Milwaukee church. I honestly didn't want to go, but Becca was pretty persuasive. That day I witnessed a service and performance that melted my heart and brought me to tears, and I agreed to recommit to studying the Bible again. This time, however, i re began my studies with a someone named Erin. I was turned off by it at first, but Erin's care free and childlike spirit was exactly what I needed. From February 2011 until June we took our time with my studies, I wrestled with my demons, and found my way to a whole new me with God at my side. I prayed and fasted for guidance on the day that I would be baptized, and the lord lead me to June 12th 2011. I was so excited I called Erin to tell her, only to find out two things:

1. June 12th was her physical birthday. 2. June 12th would be the day the Racine Church of Christ would be planted.

June 12th 2011, i stood wearing my shirt "all the cool girls are lesbians" underneath a black t-shirt. I wanted to be baptized in that shirt because If my baptism symbolized me participating in the death and resurrection of Christ, I wanted to die to that old part of me. I still remember looking up to the sky that day and saying "lord, I don't know how I'm going to do this, but I trust you will change my heart." My baptism was magical. I could feel heaven singing. I was overwhelmed the moment I came out of the water with a feeling of LOVE so intense that it brought me to tears. The sun yet again beamed down on me and I knew that I finally belonged to him and all my sins had been washed away. I changed into my dry clothes, tore up my lesbian shirt, and tossed it in the woods! I was elated!

That day in Johnson park as all the members of the Midwest churches gathered around to celebrate the new church planting, I looked around and realized something. I remembered my prayer from a year before, and there it was. A church where people truly loved God. A church where people practiced what they preached. A place where I had friends. A new family. A place where I felt like I was apart of something great. He gave me everything I asked for in his Kingdom.

Now, remember when I told God, "I trust you'll change my heart?"

Well, that same year in the November, I met a man that would not only become my best friend, but he would become my husband as well. And you want to hear something else kind of funny?

Well, let's just say the lord lead us to live in Racine, WI. The very place where I was baptized the day of the Racine church planting.

As I look back on the timeline that is my life, I see that through every hardship I had ever been through, God was there all along never far from me and always with a master plan. 

#christianity #christian blog #christian testimony #lgbtq

[izzpeng]

Unsent Emails

25/08/2016

To: [email protected]

Subject: Surprise bitch, I'm back!

Dear Smithy,

First of all I would like to say, fuck you for telling me I wouldn't get an A* in maths just because I messed around in class too much. Second of all, I would like to thank you for being a fraction of motivation in my math studies. I have to admit, I liked you enough to study 10% harder than I usually do and for that you deserve a blog post dedicated to you, just kidding you worthless piece of shit who wont even dedicate your thoughts to me. But it's too late now, so you're very fortunate for even being mentioned in my oh so popular blog.

Thanks for being a great teacher/supporter/motivator/useless advisor/racist bastard/...friend. See you in the afterlife you dick.

With cold fury,

Izzati Azhan

To: [email protected]

Subject: God Bless the Lopez

Dear Lopezo Mighty,

You don't deserve a 'fuck you' because you knew my potential and only encouraged me day after day, with your sadistic humour and the quiet blazing fire dancing in your eyes which was the only sign that you're actually human. I'd express my gratitude in a 10,000 word essay but I'm sure you'll just read the introduction and conclusion and base my grade off those two paragraphs. But without your life coaching I would not have gotten A*A* for both my Eng Lit and Lang. Dare I say it, thank you for setting us a Date Wiv Des Tinny, those practice papers were torture each week but well worth it in the end. You are my spirit animal in all dimensions, maybe except in Hell where you'd be Satan but...

Stay Healthy Senôr!

With all my love (though you believe it is just another concept of convenience),

Izzati Azhan

To: [email protected]

Subject: bust out the roti, girl its about to get some of this izzatikkamasala

Dear Beenal the Brindian,

I know I know, this time its a fuck me for getting an A and not an A* but Miss I was 3 marks of an A* if that makes you feel any better, it does with me! I actually don't feel that thankful towards you since I do feel I did hm... mostly all the work, I took the exam after all. But an email of gratitude to show manners and my kissing ass abilities can't hurt can it? So terima kasih for all the lessons you spent dramatically telling us your stories, sometimes even twice of the same one, thanks for letting me doodle in class just because you talk a lot of the time and therefore I am allowed to half listen. I wouldn't be the indian food loving person I am today without you, oh and almost forgot... of course thanks for helping me achieve that almost A*! Fuck the examiner for me next time will ya.

With all my beloved assets,

Izzati Azhan

To: [email protected]

Subject: smile at me wit ur eyes, nat yo mouth only

Dear Turquoise Eyes,

I'd like to get to know the 16 yr old you but my chance has passed. Inappropriate flirting aside, guess what sir! I got exactly what I got in the most recent geo mocks 149/180 and I thought the mocks weren't an accurate indication. I'd like to thank you for having beautiful eyes and smiling at me even though on the inside you be like "lol fucktard thats the most incorrect answer ever, like not even close." I enjoyed your classes and you're sometimes funny but not on purpose, more like weird funny yknow? I think you'd like to get credit for my success but honestly i learnt how to answer case studies properly through Ajmal through Mr Cook, so who is really my teacher here? Me. Because I taught myself to sought answers and techniques elsewhere but sure I guess you can have some credit, those eyes deserve at least a generous 5%. lol ok bye tq

With a 9 on the Ritcher Scale,

Izzati Azhan,

You guessed it, the wait is over! #gcseresults2016 was trending on twitter and the sounds of 16yr olds packing their bags, getting ready to get disowned by their parents was the most honest and lit af song this year (after Frank Ocean's Blond of course). I admit its always nerve-wracking receiving results, where a single exam determines your ability to understand (or memorise) a two year course. But I had faith that with my prayers and hard work Allah gave me the results I truly deserved, so presumably my anxiety was on the down low while my trust in God was at sky high.

Alhamdulillah I got 3A's 6A*, I was so confident I would smash an A* with Business and Art but alas the grade boundaries proved me otherwise. With three fucking marks off an A* in Business I was so irritated at which examiner marked my paper, not irritated to risk a request for a remarking though. And Art, I hoped for an A*  but instead faced it's less prestigious sibling, an A. I asked around of course, not trying to compare or anything but I just needed to know what the students who I thought was for sure going to get A* actually got, to my delightful (?) surprise they too got an A which led me to believe that scoring an A* in Art is no easy business. Business isn't easy either lmao.

To this, I must admit defeat to my mother. She's been on my back for my choice of Art as an A-level subject saying its hard to score high in Art, but my cocky ass just waved it away and dismissed it altogether. Doubt has risen up in my throat, threatening my artistic capabilities to spill out across the walls of abandoned buildings as grafitti instead of street art. So thats something to think about before Saturday Morning.

UPDATE:

I attended Enrollment day alone, my heart beating, my eyes watering and my mind wandering. I chose to do IB diploma, for many reasons. I am just so drawn to how different it is, I think of all the future local Bruneians who did A-levels asking for the sam scholarship then I imagine the MoE going through the applications like "Great a-levels, a-levels, a-levels Oooo IB whats this?" and I just feel like I would have a standing chance you know? It would also help me to mix around with more international students and prepare for the university life so when I do go to university Insyallah I wont feel vulnerable and small.

But I just feel like my mother is against me taking IB, like she's trying to be supportive by giving a tight smile and grim nods but inside I know she's not convinced and this all happened on the way to the Arts Centre which made me even feel more queasy. My Father on the other hand, gave me a genuine "Go for it" which helped me so much on every level, I just need the motivation, just that little push to help me get going, feed me a trickle more of confidence.

So I had a choice to approach either Duckling or Dickinson on my IB subjects, and okay Dickinson was full okay there was a long queue and I ended up going to Duckling because I really had no choice! hehehhehhehehhe. Anyway I waved the papers in my hand high above to indicate that I was next and he laughed and told me to come and sit, so naturally I did. He took a look at my grades and praised me and then circled my subjects that I intend on studying, giving me advice that I should only need Math Studies seeing as how I'm not thinking of a mathematical kind of career. He then said " blablablabla Youre subjects are a smart choice, I think you're good to go, Welcome to the IB program"

And that was the clarity I was searching for, that little- push.

NOT JUST BCS HE'S HIM BUT BCS I NEEDED TO HEAR IT.

Just before that, Brindian approached me asking me  about my business results and encouraging me to take that remark because I was three marks off an A* saying that theres no reason I dont deserve the A*. I was uncertain because sure it makes me feel so fucking good about myself and so very satisfied, but who really needs an A* in GCSE Business to get accepted into a University? So I made a face. The face. and She went "What do you have to lose?" And of course one thing instantly came to mind "Um money?" then she gave me a look. The look. So I said I'll think about it and apparently only 1 or 2 students got A*. The thing is I actually would get it remarked if my Art grade also got bumped up to an A* but I have no idea what Ms Stroud is trying to do by contacting the exam board?

So thats that, she asked me about my ever so popular brother. So I told him oh he did well, she asked about which university and I replied Leicester and I told her that Im actually going off and missing 3 weeks of school. Then she went "oh you know Leicester's my hometown, in what area is he living because Im there in December" and i was like wtf creepy. And she continued saying "Oh Imagine if we just bumped into each other on the streets" and I was going to say something awkward because like what the fuck right? But Mr Duckling was open and ultimately saved me and she gestured me to go ahead.

After that, Mr mcluck approached me well not really, well kind of but it was super fucking awkward because I was waiting for my turn with Mrs Krüger and he was on the table nearby and made eye contact and he smiled and I returned it and i was like fuck am i suppose to go over lmao so i slowly sat down while he came over to me. YAKNOW gotta play hard to get. SO again he asked me are you happy with you results blablablabla were you nervous getting your results so I told him that I wasnt as nervous because other people were like "oh my life is over" and he laughed and blablablabla just mostly nodding and smiling. Then he asked me about my brother's results hi ok 2nd teacher to ask about my brother cool. I gave him a vague oh he did well and told him Leicester University on 18th September and I added that I was actually going to send him off and missing 3 weeks of school. Blablbalbalbalabl then he finally asked about IB saying that oh great choice.

And Wendy told me that at the YC Mcluck was talking about me to wendy asking me what I got and he saying that i Was exceptional kekekekkekekekk fuck man his eyes are so blue, dont think about it dont think about. Did i tell you I had a dream of him as Ben Affleck like wtf, first of all why would I even dream about him, maybe it was because I crossed his mind like just the night before omg. but whatever. Idk that made me feel so good about myself. Then Brindian thought that Fatin was Hana and approached Fatin and Wendy haahhahahahah and somehow started talking about me?? Like boi they both love me so much, I wonder if Lopez or Julibear bear talks about me like that. Sigh imagine

Smithy: Shes a fucking pain in the ass

Lupez: Intelligent fucking pain alright

Smithy and Lupez: But she's our pain in the ass.

OMGGGGGGGGG I loved all my GCSE teachers and classes! like those were the best days of my JIS experience so far. Art was super chill, she let us sing out loud together saying that we were the only class who did that and that she'll miss us :(((((((( Smithy couldnt care less, he just moved on click like that. Anyway, hope everyone got what they expected with their results or better and just remember kids, grades DO define who are and where you'll be in life. lol goodluck fam.

Izzati