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ham-and-cheese-studios · 23 days

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LONG RANT ABOUT MORMON CONFERENCE FROM A NEVERMO

Went on a rabbit hole on the mormon conference, something I've never heard about before (I grew up in a mostly mormon small town)

First I went through the #exmo tag and it was sad to see so many people forced to listen to bullshit spewed by pathetic, fragile, old men but also inspiring to see exmos retaliate and call out that bullshit for what it is. I wish the very best to any and all apostates to they can make a life that's actually theirs.

Then I went through the #tumblrstake tag and some of the shit I read reminded me of being back in high school, listening to all the popular mormon kids gush and gasm about what the church was doing. Like hooray we're building more temples because that's what we should be doing with our ill-gotten money instead of HMMMM I DUNNO DONATING TO CHARITY OR SOME SHIT?!!

But then it became both funny and concerning when I saw some queer mormons confused about why the bigwigs weren't using they/them pronouns, why they weren't affirming lgbt identities, etc. My kneejerk reaction to this was "uh cuz they don't fucking care lmao" but then it reminded me of a post made by a queer exmo that basically gave hope that queermos would realize there's a bigger, happier life outside of the church.... which there is! Like what life would you rather choose: a life where you have to mask your identity and act like you'll be accepted by a religion that has a clear history of bigotry? Or a life where you don't have to hide anything and be the rawest you you can be, not the one everybody else wants you to be?

But then there's the kicker: choice. It's easy for an outsider to be like "omg why don't they just leave lol", and I used to be that kind of person too. But now I realize that not too many people have that choice, hence the whole PIMO thing. The mormon cult isn't something you just leave. It would be so nice if it was easy for the religiously prosecuted TO leave like "oh this church isn't gonna allow a gay wedding, fuck em" or "oh this church believes my skin color is dark because God cursed me that way".

So I'll say it again that I'm proud of the exmos and pimos for escaping and slowly undoing years of brainwashing and manipulation. This mormiecon can suck a fart out of a skunks asshole. And to those questioning their faith in this cult and are struggling, keep questioning. Keep asking questions. You are not a lamb, you're a fucking human being and I wish you the best of luck on regaining your independence.

Anyway, I'm gonna go make some shitty memes about the stuff I read today cause humor is my godawful coping mechanism for living in a small town full of shitty mormons.

#exmo #pimo #tumblrstake #nevermo #mormon #ldsconf #cult #queerstake #tbh I'm more interested in the experiences of exmos than mos #cause I've heard the same braindead bullshit from mos for 24 years

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mormonbooks · 5 months

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Stripling Warrior

4/5 STARS

Summary: This collection of comics (3 issues and an Annual) has the worlds first ever Gay Mormon Superhero! In fact, it has a lot of different Queer and Mormon (or Mormon-adjacent) characters, all fighting against injustice.

The main character, Sam Shepherd, gets visited by an Angel soon after marrying his husband Jase. The Angel (Abish from the Book of Mormon) calls him to be The Hand of God and punish sinners. He fights homophobes, misguided missionaries, and Cain himself, alongside his companion, Fe, who also received powers from Abish.

Read at your own risk: This book is has a complex approach to mormonism, as well as deceptions of queer sex (Not explicit but pretty nsfw). I think it's a lot of fun, and is an honest portrayal of queer mormon experiences, with fun fantastical versions of Mormon beliefs (Like a Holy Ghost Force Field).

Overall, I enjoyed it! I've been dying for a Mormon Superhero, and queer mormon superheroes are even better. I would love to see more stories with Sam, Fe, Jase, Shonda, and Riley in the future.

Spoilers and Review Breakdown Under the Cut

1. Well written - 3.5 Stars.

Overall, I think the writing is done well. Some of it is cheesy, and there are a couple of deus ex machina's but it feels like it fits in the genre and with what the comic is trying to do.

2. Fun level - 4.5 Stars

I really enjoyed it! I read the whole thing in one sitting and it was engaging and exciting and it made me laugh.

3. Complex faith - 3.5 Stars

This one is complicated to answer. This definitely feels like media aimed at ex-mormons. Most of the characters are Ex (or "Jack") Mormons, and don't have high regard for the church as an organization. They do believe in Angels and Heavenly Mother (cause that's where their power comes from) but the church officials (like mission presidents) are shown as villains. It's a very irreverent story. And there's a part in the last issue where Heavenly Mother and Heavenly Father are pitted against each other that I didn't really like.

The only exception is Riley, an asexual missionary who states his firm testimony a couple of times. He is one of the heroes, but still firmly believes in the gospel.

I like it because it has characters from all over the spectrum of mormonism (from actively serving a mission to "my parents were mormon but we don't really talk about it" and everything in between), which I think is cool, but it's also definitely got an exmo bias.

4. Homophobia scale - 5 stars

it's so gay!!!!! They have a character for each letter of LGBTA, it's delightful.

It is also NSFW. Nothing explicit (?) but characters are often naked, and the two married couples are shown being intimate quite a few times. I don't normally love stories like that, but for a comic that is about the sacredness of queer intimacy, I understand why it's included.

5. Mormon weird - 5 stars

SOOO much mormon weird. Abish is an angel. The heroes have Liahona Guides. The big villains are Cain and Ammon. It's so much fun.

6. Diversity of characters - 4 stars!

The main character and his husband are both white guys, but Fe is latina, her wife is black (and trans!), and Riley is a POC.

7. Other problematic stuff - 3 stars

I love this comic but I don't think it's for everyone. On top of being irreverent and nsfw, it also incorporates some indigenous american culture into the mythos in ways I'm not sure about. This is going to happen with anything that talks about Nephites and Lamanites, but mostly I don't know why Ammon has a pet Quetzalcoatl. 🤷

But, like I said, I did enjoy it. I think there's a lot of potential in these characters and I would love to see more stories with them

#mormon representation #mormon #lds #book review #Stripling Warrior #brian andersen #james neish #exmo #gay mormon superhero #queer mormon #sam shepherd #fe fernandez

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royalsunshinehotel · 2 years

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Jeb Pyre (SFW Alphabet)

A/N: I am not in the mormon church, but about 30% of my friend group are ExMos, so I will be using what I’ve heard from them. This alphabet is for Jeb post-excommunication (because lets be real people have been Xed for less)

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Jeb’s kind of emotionally fried, so he has to start small. I think he’s definitely into forehead kisses and Acts of Service.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

He’d be a solid best friend, we see this with his partner, Bill Taba. I’m on the train that Jeb is kinda reserved until he gets comfortable with you. He’ll be great! You could call him from any payphone and he’d come pick you up! You’d take a polaroid of his first official frostie from Wendy’s!

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?

Jeb isn’t really familiar with cuddling to begin with. You, as his partner, kinda have to show him what’s what. This involves you pulling him onto the couch and just putting his head on your chest.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Oh he’s so ready. BORN ready. The best dad ever tbh. Jeb’s a bit of a neat freak, just because he wants to know where everything is, and for cooking, he’s got like 2 things he can make. In his defense, it’s an excellent grilled cheese.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do\ it?)

It would be messy, ugly. You know that Jeb, in his soul, is a kind person, but it doesn’t show. It’s a massive fight, Jeb starts to have a meltdown, and he takes you right down with him. It’s over.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

I feel like after his divorce (yeah shut up what about it), he’d be a bit skittish, only about the title. About three months into your relationship, Taba has to tell him that the two of you are dating, and he’s stunned. It helps his anxiety about your relationship because hell! He’s already in it!

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

The most gentle man. Help. ALl of that evil, all of that horror, only made him more soft.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Oh he’s a big fan! He will be putting his hand on the back of your neck to hug you deeply.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

I truly in my heart believe that he’d have to talk to Bill about it first. Like mans is scrambled after the case, and Taba has more “real life” experience outside of the church.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Jeb hasn’t been jealous since he was 9 and his older brother took his pair of converse without asking! He basically sulked until his brother came home, and then bluntly, asked if the brother in question would wash the shoes. THis results in the Pyre house needing a new washing machine, but what about it?

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Soft! Soft! Soft! His kisses are always soft and sweet. He’s a big fan of kissing you on the temple and forehead, and he likes to be kissed on the cheek.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

LOVES kids. He loves kids so much! Jeb is dialed in to the children’s wavelength and it’s a goddamn skill.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Jeb’s an early riser. When he was in school, he’d start his day between 4-5 in the morning! This being said, he’s always up before you. Most of the time, he’s trying to cook breakfast, and add a third dish to his repertoire, but lately he’s just been hanging in bed with you.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Jeb goes to bed early, I feel like 9:30pm is late for him. He can stay up, obviously for work, but it’s not his favorite thing.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Look, he wanted to turn over a new leaf when he was kicked out of the church, but as he was raised in it, he still has some deeply-programmed loyalty. He’s quiet, until you know what kind of questions you need to ask.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Patience of a goddamn saint, and it’s so fucking annoying.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He does alright! Sometimes Jeb’s in his head, not really *in the moment*, but all of the information you give him is packed away in his brain.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Jeb likes to have 2/4 locks locked on the door at all times. He’s a big fan of walking on teh street to keep you safe. He thinks he doesn’t need protection, but you know that he’d apologize to someone who knocked him down. You’re tough enough for the both of you.

If something went down at work, he’d give you a call, and tell you to grab the girls, grab a go-bag, and start driving away. The car always has a full tank due to this reason.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He’s trying so hard!! You’re pretty lenient and insisting that he relax and heal from all that stress and trauma, but he wants to tell you he cares for you

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He leaves his towel from the shower in weird places. I also feel like he calls your name across the house, and even when you respond, he doesn’t stop until you find where he is.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

I feel like since life has changed so drastically, he pays more attention to his looks. He’s dressing a little more conservatively and I do think that this man expands his wardrobe in this limbo period. It’s good to feel some control over your appearance, if nothing else, and that’s what Jeb does.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Mans has been hurt. He was kicked out by his entire community, he needs all the support he could get, and for a long time, it’s just you and Bill. He could probably technically get by, but he wouldn’t really want to.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

This isn’t too far of a leap, but Jeb actually loves being a GirlDad. Once he recovers from the Lafferty case, he focuses on his girls. We’re talking nail polish, stuffed animals, self defense training, learning to braid. He wouldn’t be mad at a son but he’d take a minute to get a handle on it.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He wouldn’t go for another Mormon, the church is too corrupt. He’d also hate someone who’s picky with their foods, ie tearing it apart instead of actually eating it.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He’s so still, you have to check if he’s breathing. Jeb Pyre sleeps on his side of the bed, once he puts his head down he doesn’t move until his alarm goes off.

#jeb pyre #jebediah pyre #under the banner of heaven #andrew garfield

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0h-c0mely · 1 year

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i wrote a poem about the musket fire talk.

if you’re a queer Utah exmo in particular, please take the time to read- mainly because no one in my creative writing class understood it, haha.

it’s called “GUN FETISH”. I wish i could attach a document to keep all my formatting, but ce la vie. Under the cut.

sweet faced grandpa likes to make wishes (not orders)

tomorrow when he wakes up he’ll wish me into an obedient thing,

ten o’ clock twink in a hot pink Polyg dress

purple bruised knees and freezer burned love

yesterday he wished me sum musket fire over the pulpit, a bullet

organ cavalry and a green Jello jihad

i dreamed that night my heart - my spleen - my Left kidney

got ripped right out, by money Soiled liverspot hands

much older and much surer than mine

would i like it in the head or the stomach, i wonder ? (when it's Finally time)

my overcooked brains Hot-SunSweet on the pavement.

squelch sung elegy of a teenage Dirtbag

ended (so quick)

But Maybe (Just Maybe)

i look into grandpa’s eye as i bleed out, kiss his chickenskin cheek

stain it sour black cherry so god can see

grandpa’s eyes welled up when he said it, jowls flopped

like a rivertrout makin’ afterhours theatre (one night only)

of it’s choked-out dirty sinnin’ death

“kill your children”, grandpa calls on my parents

they nod

“kill them young and sweet”. “and they will be forever Perfect for the christ”

i don't know who that is

but even still

the snipers turn to me and i make my show

just for them

paint on pretty church primrose, like i Always Will

as long as they never touch,

(Please god, keep them from touching)

i Can be the cold porcelain child they need, the painted Pretty jesus baby

sum porcelain

a sacramental sniper simply can’t bear to shatter.

#exmormon #exmo #exmo stuff #pimo #apostake #apostate #queer exmo #musket fire #’tell me what u think #love everyone who relates #i really do #poetry #queer poetry

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cyeayt · 1 year

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just exmo things be like

if you say the name "church of jesus christ of later day saints" to me unironically i will block you

if youve heard some batshit rumor about mormonism or our history and beleifs of whatever you can ask me about it i guess

#exmormonism #religion #exmo #hey do you know what kolob is?#do you want to to deliver you the names of sticky joes 30 polygamous wives from the perspective of my faithful aunt versus others?#do you want me to talk about my own opinions about polygamy as a polyamorous arpspec queer exmo?#do you want to hear about how we're all going to fucking die and its brigham youngs fault?#im procrastinating so much stuff while writing this #want me to do research on what i suspect is a surprisingly large mormon population in mexico because reasons?#if you want to know why ill block you for calling it the lds church you can ask that too #want to hear about the weird cultural tension between mormons exmos and just regular fucking people #want to hear about trek #i only went once but i do have stories about trek #there were cows #and all the different childrens programs divided by age and gender #i kinda wanna talk about once i was a beehive #let me tell you that movie was so weird to me

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icannotgetoverbirds · 1 year

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I posted 6,358 times in 2022

That's 6,305 more posts than 2021!

223 posts created (4%)

6,135 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@the-cooler-anon

@twiggyfrogblog

@afreshlywoundgoose

@wisteriaalu

@carameloshaemployee

I tagged 1,331 of my posts in 2022

#byrd saves for later - 152 posts

#ty twiggy! - 142 posts

#byrd is an exmo - 81 posts

#byrd chirps - 72 posts

#exmo - 71 posts

#exmormon - 69 posts

#ex mormon - 68 posts

#im feeling very exmo in this chilis tonight - 66 posts

#ex cult - 65 posts

#ex religious - 35 posts

Longest Tag: 128 characters

#im out of the v̶̨̻̳̮͈͖̖̦͓̻̏̉͂o̶̖̝̳͒͜į̷͈͍̣̭̥̫̹͍̙̆̄́̍̍͒̀̓̎͒̈̚d̷̨̧̠̞̲̣̮͔̹̟͘͘͝ͅ so now maybe i can actually do something worthwhile

My Top Posts in 2022:

the model and the letter

a piece written by a friend of mine, who goes by Kea, about growing up as a little mormon girl.

A little girl does her best to sit quietly, her arms folded, her eyes closed, in the tiny plastic chair. She wears a dress that is too warm and a little itchy. Somebody is praying at the front of the room. Her eyes open accidentally, and her heart rate speeds up before she squeezes them shut, admonishing herself for making a mistake.

The sacrament is in a few minutes. She can repent of her sins then - though she reminds herself that she’s too young to need this: her sins are not her own until she turns eight. Her sins belong to her parents, and she feels a twinge of guilt for burdening them with her mistakes. Still, it’s such a small thing, which she recognizes, and it was an honest mistake that was immediately corrected.

When the sacrament is passed, she eyes the young men bringing around the bread and water. They look awfully nice in their suits. I bet I’d look nice in a suit, she thinks. I bet they’re more comfortable than this dress.

She does not realize that, despite what everyone tells her, she will grow up to be a man with a severe appreciation for button-downs and ties.

At eight, the little girl has spent much of her time wanting to tuck her hair into a baseball cap, to be the girl that everyone assumes is a boy. She doesn’t really want to pull the cap off to let her hair fall out, though. She’s not really sure what’s so exciting about that.

She wears a white dress as an older man conducts an interview for her baptism. He asks her questions. He asks her if she has what she needs.

She lies.

She does not have what she needs. She believes that being baptized will bring it to her. She believes that this lie is okay, because he does not catch it, and if she needs the baptism to gain what she does not have, surely it must be acceptable to say what is necessary to be baptized.

She changes into a white jumpsuit, and her father chants a predetermined prayer before pushing her under the water. When she comes back up, she feels… something.

If nothing else, she has completed the ritual that will allow her to be accepted by her family and the people around her. The water is warm, and she takes great pleasure in swimming away from her father with movements she categorizes as frog-like.

After she dries off and changes back into her ceremonial white dress, several men put their hands on her head, one chanting a different predetermined prayer to confirm the baptism.

She never truly receives what she was looking for.

At fourteen, she is confused, worried, and unsure. She is anxious, and she has realized that she is queer. She thinks she belongs, anyway. After all, her sexuality is the single most acceptable within her community: asexuality makes abstinence incredibly easy.

Her next ritual is with a prophesier of sorts, called the patriarch. Again, a man lays his hands on her head, and speaks her future. She hoped he would have answers for her.

He does not.

She leaves deflated but with a smile anyways - his words still meant something, right?

At seventeen, she begins to question things. After all, she wants to date eventually, but dating a man seems to not be in the cards. She wants to try and date women, but it’s forbidden by God Himself.

She tries to think her way out of it - if God loves humanity, how can He hate love? If He asked us to love one another, how can He accept the hatred His people have for those that love differently?

She can no longer think her way out of it. She shelves the issue, files it away neatly in her brain under conundrums she may never understand.

At nineteen, it hits him. First, that he refuses to be a part of an organization that treats queer people as less than human, as less worthy of glory in God, and secondly, that he is, in fact, a trans man.

Of all the things he is excited to do now that his community no longer restricts him, by far the most thrilling concept is being himself.

He finds a new community with others like him, and learns from the people within that there is more to his old community than he realized.

He learns of an evaluation first. The BITE model, which damns the organization he grew up in entirely, labeling it a cult.

He wants to think his way out of it, but he knows that he simply can’t do that anymore. His filing system has to be recategorized entirely. It’s time to relabel many of the things he learned as belonging to a cult.

On the bright side, he can now remove several concepts from the conundrums he may never understand and sort them into proper categories.

Suddenly, he is no longer an inactive or former member. He is a cult survivor, and he sees startling connections between the actions of the cult and the actions of abusers.

He tries to make a molehill out of a mountain, to level his cult with religions that have similar traits.

Then he hears about the CES letter. He reads it, and suddenly there is more recategorization to be done. An uncomfortably significant amount of fog clears from his thoughts. Things have never been right here.

See the full post

100 notes - Posted June 27, 2022

if you've got any ex-mormon friends/moots, be sure to check up on them this weekend. conference is happening and it can be a really hard time for us.

to all my exmo moots and any exmos that may see this post: it's going to be okay. i may not know what it is that you need to hear right now, but above all else, it's going to be okay.

it's okay to be scared. it's okay if this is triggering. it's okay if you watch it or don't. it's okay if you need to take some time away from everything today. it's okay if you need to keep yourself busy today. it's okay to be angry, to be bitter, to be sad.

be extra gentle with yourself this weekend. it's going to be okay.

110 notes - Posted October 1, 2022

so many mlm yearning blogs, so many of them single. WHERE ARE YOU PEOPLE. I'M LONELY TOO. CAN WE AT LEAST BE FRIENDS. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAN WE AT LEAST BE FRIENDS.

224 notes - Posted October 5, 2022

resource: good picrews for fat people

If anybody wants to help me put together a proper rating system, I'd love to hear about that. In the meantime, this post will be used as a place where I collect and share picrews that have any level of fat representation.

The following have fat in the title or are made specifically with fat people in mind:

Just a warning, I'm not sure if the second one was actually made benevolently or for less kind reasons than representation.

This one isn't made specifically for fat people but has a larger body type that's done surprisingly well.

See the full post

569 notes - Posted June 22, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Fat people deserve better.

We are not repulsive. We are not vile. We are not appalling.

We are people.

If my existence "promotes obesity"? Good!

You want to know why?

I am not promoting the idea that someone should become obese. I am not going to attempt to police someone else's body and lifestyle like sizeist people do.

I am promoting the idea that people of all sizes are deserving of the bare minimum of basic human respect.

This should not be a radical idea. This should not be something we have to fight about.

99% of the time? Being fat is not a choice. And you know what? Even if it was - even if I was shoving big macs into my greasy fucking maw every 2 hours?

I would still be deserving of basic decency.

I would still be deserving of proper medical care that takes into account things other than my size and diet.

I would still be deserving of comfort, of clothing that fits.

You want to know the worst part of all of this?

Fat kids deserve better, and all too often, they don't get it.

Fat kids deserve to be able to be active without being mocked for the way their body moves.

Fat kids deserve to be seen as children rather than medical problems that need solving.

Fat kids deserve clothing that fits them and makes them feel good about themselves.

Fat kids deserve to eat, and to eat good food.

Fat kids deserve to eat cake at birthday parties like everyone else.

Fat kids deserve to go trick-or-treating like all the other kids.

Fat kids deserve love. Fat kids deserve respect.

Fat kids deserve a proper childhood without having to pay a toll of trying to change their bodies.

Fat kids deserve acceptance for their bodies as they are and as they will be - not pleasantries about how they'll grow up to be skinny, so they don't need to learn to love themselves before then.

Fat people deserve better.

1,667 notes - Posted June 4, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #long post #byrd is an exmo #exmo #exmormon #ex mormon #im feeling very exmo in this chilis tonight #excult #ex cult #tw fatphobia #tw religious mention #ex religious

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wasmormon · 1 year

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I’m a logically thinking, LGBT defending, truth searching father and medical professional. I was Mormon. I have 3 children and love being involved in their development. I try to teach them critical thinking skills and how to hone their BS detector. I took a deep dive into the truth claims of the so-called church. What hurt me most was that I was never given the chance to decide with all the information available to me. I felt betrayed and lied to. Tyler Continue reading the full wasmormon profile at https://wasmormon.org/profile/banterfix/ Share your own story at wasmormon.org #mormon #wasmormon #exmo #exmormon #postmormon #leavethechurch #mormonshelf #faithdeconstruction #lostfaith #mormonfaithcrisis #lds #criticalthinking #bsdetector #mormontruthclaims #mormontruthcrisis #lgbt #churchbetrayal #liesmychurchtoldme https://www.instagram.com/p/CmUDGVMuT1y/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#mormon #wasmormon #exmo #exmormon #postmormon #leavethechurch #mormonshelf #faithdeconstruction #lostfaith #mormonfaithcrisis #lds #criticalthinking #bsdetector #mormontruthclaims #mormontruthcrisis #lgbt #churchbetrayal #liesmychurchtoldme

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muffinrag · 3 months

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i love my family but they are so disgusting. like.

oldest brother: extremely trapped Mormon (stopped going to church for a while but started going again and is now entrenched, perhaps irreversibly). Has seven children because his wife insisted on having that many. These children are homeschooled.

oldest sister: no longer Mormon, but is having her exmo rebellion phase at age 36 with an extremely rich husband, which translates to charity tourism. Oh, and she's in a group called "Mormon Mystics." So that bodes well.

second oldest sister: potentially my most normal sibling. Not really a believer anymore but still Mormon because her husband is extremely extremely fucking Mormon. I mean, the man had the audacity to comment on modesty when I wore a tank top around him.

second oldest brother: did two tours in Afghanistan as infantry and was a sniper. Physically abusive with his spouse and children. His spouse thinks that the two of them are the most enlightened & progressive couple in my entire family. They're not. We don't have time to unpack all that.

Fun Fact there's a seven year gap here. During this time my mother (head of the Relief Society for their ward at the time) cheated on my father with the bishop (leader of the ward). Both parents refuse to elaborate on which base my mom and the bishop got to. HOWEVER, my mom apparently had a miscarriage (or perhaps... a "miscarriage") during this seven year gap. Make of that what you will.

third oldest brother: genuinely not sure if he's alive right now. Ultraliberal who's addicted to the hustlegrind. Keeps trying to swindle billionaires and getting caught doing so. Has tried to kill himself at least once now. Fraudulently co-signed second oldest brother onto a Tesla that IMMEDIATELY got totalled because he let a drunk friend drive it.

me: we all know I have problems. I quit my job and move at least once a year. I desperately need cult deprogramming therapy and to keep a job for longer than eight months. etc

younger sister: I don't even know what she's doing, really, but she's still Mormon, which is a bad start. She's getting a college degree from an unaccredited cult school in southern Utah. I'm sure she's doing her best.

younger brother: runner up for most normal sibling. he's in the army which isn't great but he's doing helicopter mechanic work which is cool. Had the unfortunate experience of finding the third oldest brother unconscious in a small dome tent with a running generator. also the unfortunate experience of living alone with our mother for several years.

like genuinely would do anything for any of them but goddamn. these bitches fucked up as hell

#this post prompted by second oldest texting me #we're all bad at keeping in touch #theres a lot of love. theres a lot of hate. theres a lot of bitterness and resentment but by god is there love #maybe someday we'll all be normaler <3 #soliloquy

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exmojoe · 8 months

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Ask game! (https://www.tumblr.com/exmojoe/728024881857544192/dumpsterprophet-ask-game-for-apostates?source=share)

2, 6 and 7! :D

Sorry this took a hot minute!!

2. How would you describe your current beliefs?

Currently I’d describe myself as atheist/agnostic. While I’m not opposed to re exploring religion in the future, I’m definitely nowhere near that point rn lol. But I don’t think I’d ever go back to any form of Christianity

6. Favorite pieces of media that speaks to your experiences?

This took an embarrassingly long time to think of….. but music is media right?? And I was going to find songs that sort of mapped the journey of my experience but that seemed too laborious so I’m just gonna share everything that’s on my exmo playlist :)

This is basically anything that I know was written regarding exmo/ex religious feels, or anything that Ive listened to and was like hmmm that seems very exmo…..

The entirety of “excommunication” by none other than Tyler Glenn • “one of the drunks” by panic! at the disco • “dying in LA” by panic! at the disco • “this is gospel” by panic! at the disco • “god is a freak” by peach PRC • “salt” by bad suns • “would’ve, could’ve, should’ve” by Taylor Swift • “heard u look like shit” by Samantha Shelley • “prophet” by Samantha Shelley • “burn out” by Samantha Shelley • “rip to my youth” by the neighborhood • “resentment” by Kesha • “I’m so sorry” by imagine dragons • “I bet my life” by imagine dragons • “up” by David Archuleta • “idontunderstand” by David Archuleta • “burn” by David Kushner • “what was I made for?” by Billie Eilish • “deeper” by Ellee Duke

7. Do you like angels or demons?

Demons all the way!! But even then idk if I could say all demons. Even when I was at my deepest point in mormonism (and it was deeppppppp. Like people actively called me a Molly and I took it as a compliment) I had this deep affinity for Lucifer. I can’t explain it but the thought of Satan was super comforting in a way I can’t describe. For a long while I was convinced I was some sort of spiritual double agent and that I was actually a “son” of perdition and lied to hf or whatever so I could get a body and come to earth and that I was actually here to spread ~evil~ or whatever. Anyways I also thought I had some really deep spiritual connection to Satan before the whole spirit war or whatever and that’s why I felt this way.

Anyways. I was a really weird kid. But I still find comfort in the idea of Satan I guess

#again I’m so sorry this took so long!#but thank you for the ask 🥰#exmo #exmormon

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