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exhaustedstripper · 11 months

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Nobody told me that you fucking died.

It occurred to me, as I deep cleaned my car in between sessions of scrubbing my kitchen floor with piping hot splashes of Pine Sol water - that I was avoiding thinking about this.

I washed every ounce of laundry in my home.

I filled two Goodwill bags.

One dry clean bag.

One IKEA sized "sell it" bag.

I scrubbed my toilet, vacuumed, did the dishes - I was running out of things to clean and re-organize.

Because when you popped into my head yesterday morning, and I wondered how your cross-country run was going, I looked you up. Although I was used to going months on end, up to a year at a time of not hearing from you - usually by Summer you made an appearance.

In recent years, we tried to re-create the tortured artist conversations that had bonded us in the first place. The rays of the sun would strong-arm their way through the slats of the patio roof that graced the smoking section of the bar we worked at. We would argue about which Tom Waits album was best, salted with sweat while we knocked back whiskey creations that always featured egg whites and cherries. We promised to quite smoking after the summer cleared up - and despite the fact that American Spirit Blues allowed me to taste you whenever I wanted - I managed to keep my promise.

You did not keep yours.

But then, you never did. Always needing to find yourself or so you claimed. I never asked why the deepest part of you was to be found in between another woman's thighs.

One of the last things you said to me, I can't pinpoint the exact phrase but the sentiment was this:

You had always wondered about us. You believe we could have been great. You thought about it enough to never really let go.

I felt the same.

The problem was, we never felt the same at the same time.

The first time you kissed me, I hated you. Hastily stolen while we anxiously waited in the least romantic spot humanly possible - the bathroom line of a dive bar. I need to reiterate that you very much stole that kiss. It wasn't that I didn't want to know what it felt like to kiss you. I just wanted it to happen differently. You ruined our first kiss not just with the setting and manner, but because your girlfriend was at that party. I could paint her impossibly big blue eyes, the way they looked at us.

You broke her heart - and then you blamed me. You ran back to the party while I opted to actually use the bathroom. I needed to process as much as I needed to pee. I returned to the party, hoping to forget what had happened, but all eyes were on me. I was branded a home wrecker because you didn't want to look like a piece of shit.

It's okay though - we were both pieces of shit. We were the kind of messy, supercharged, dysfunctional passion that made being a piece of shit bearable. There was no reason to hide exactly who we were - we simply weren't ashamed yet.

Our meetings were sparse the last few years. I held my cool the last time, despite fuming inside.

You had a girlfriend, one you said it was over with. Shortly after, you admitted that it was not over. I felt the familiar pattern sink in as you assured me that she knew you were meeting with me.

This too, was wrong. She did not know you were meeting a woman. She probably never knew I existed at all. You put us both in danger that day. It was no secret that she was prone to violent outbursts when off her meds, which she had recently decided she did not need.

Years after the various forms of intimacy, disfunction, and situationships that made up our story - you were pulling the same old shit.

I don't know how I feel yet, knowing you are gone. I never know what to do when someone who caused me pain passes away. I cared for you, I did. I write this today because I cared. However, caring does not take away the truth.

The truth is this - you were a terrible boyfriend. You were a complicated, beautiful human being. I wanted to meet you again when you had sorted yourself out a bit - I know how hard you were trying. I am angry that I did not know you left. I am angry that I missed your funeral and the opportunity to contribute to your medical fund.

You were such a little shit, my love. Chaotic, tender, creative.

Stay golden.

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autismrelatabites · 3 years

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hi, i know you get a lot of asks like this but i can't stop thinking i might be autistic. i get overwhelmed a lot when it comes to my senses, i've always had a poor coordination and executive disfunction. i had a problem with eye contact but i learned to accept it cause people thought i was rude. i also realized i learn what to say to people when it comes to their emotions, i don't know what it means to be happy for someone etc. i also have trouble with explaining my emotions. have a nice day!

I must admit I am not quite sure what the question is here, but I suppose my advice would be to - if you are able - look into getting a diagnosis. If you speak to a professional it will at least be good for your peace of mind. Though if you don’t want to get one then that is totally fine too. Thank you for your ask!

#ask

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viewfromthevault · 4 years

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Bless me with your OTP!

Thank you kindly, @tarberrymentats for tagging me a good long while ago 💜

I won’t tag anyone in this, so if you’d like to play along you can pretend I tagged you

And of course because I am still very deep in this rabbit hole, we’ll be focussing on:

I’d stick this under a read more but that doesn’t seem like something I can to on mobile anymore;;

Do they fight often? If so, what is their dynamic like?

With each other? Not a whole lot. There may be the odd argument about how Rhea’s tends to put herself into super dangerous situations and giving too much of herself to a cause. Her cybernetics deteriorated and nearly killed her from all the stress the war put on her and sometime after the two had a big argument about what her limits were.

The more light-hearted bickering these two do is who’s the better shot, accusing each other of stealing one another’s marks, who’s a better dancer (not Rhea).

Who is the most skeptical of the two?

Both can be pretty skeptical with things, but Garrus is moreso than Rhea. She’s a little more inclined to believe something whereas he’d prefer cold hard facts.

Who would be most likely to suggest a night of dancing?

Alright so it is no secret that Shepard is a shit dancer. Rhea recognizes this and owns it, but she won’t suggest a night of dancing unless they’re not in public and she’s hammered.

Garrus on the other hand certainly has (bless you, Citadel dlc) and will continue to pull Rhea onto the dance floor when she least expects it. She both loves and hates it. Only with him is she suddenly a good dancer.

What would they do if the other was injured in battle?

If Rhea goes down Garrus is there in an instant getting her somewhere safe, radioing help, administering medigel and keeping the enemy from getting near. Thanks to his training he appears calm and collected but boy howdy is he freaking out on the inside.

Rhea on the other hand runs the risk of flying off the wagon if Garrus gets badly hurt. When he took that missile to the face she went absolutely batshit. Jumped onto that gunship and tore it apart with her biotics. She nearly fried her implant as she was waaayy past her limits. She tries to keep that in check now because she could have scrambled her egg then and there from her irresponsibility. It was also after that whole ordeal that Rhea realized her feelings for Garrus extended much farther than friendship.

How do their fighting styles complement each other?

Rhea is a vanguard and sits between short range and up close combat while Garrus is a sniper. One provides cover fire from afar while the other makes sure the baddies don’t get close to her boo. Garrus is also able to give Rhea a heads up on any waves of enemies from his vantage point.

Do they want children? Does it frighten them? How many do they want?

Now children is an interesting topic. Garrus would like to have them while Rhea is a little more hesitant. She doesn’t feel like she’d be a good mom given her upbringing, but she would surprise herself. I can’t see them having any biological children as I feel their biological make up is just too different to be possible.

I do see them adopting however, though I haven’t quite figured all that out yet. I’ve got my mind set on adopting a baby krogan, and possibly a turian. I’ve had the name Nyla in my mind for a turian child, but am on the fence because it sounds pretty close to Nihlus and they wouldn’t name their kid after a Spectre Rhea knew for five minutes.

And all jokes aside, they really do consider Grunt a son. Will Grunt fully admit that? Maybe not out loud, but he feels the same.

What happened when they took them home to their families? If their families aren’t in the picture anymore, how do they feel about it?

Garrus’ sister is quite taken with Rhea. She likes how Rhea operates and seeing how far her brother has come since he first worked for her shows how good Rhea is for him. They both love to pester Garrus with shit whenever they come to visit.

Garrus’ father on the other hand had his reservations about Rhea as she’s both a human and a Spectre. Though with everything that has happened since the first altercation with Saren on Eden Prime, he set his views aside and welcomed Rhea with open arms.

Rhea never had any biological family that she knew of, and Garrus had been with her when the Tenth Street Reds caught up with her on the citadel. Not a fan. Rhea’s true family is her crew and they love their disfunctional band of misfits.

How does each person show affection?

Verbally they can go from witty banter to some real heartfelt shit. As much as Garrus claims to not be good at words, he’s actually pretty damn good.

The two are also pretty similar with physical affection, really. It can go from a friendly nudge to a big smooch on the beak. If they’re chilling together they’re almost always touching in some way be it holding hands, leaning on each other, cuddling on the couch etc, etc. Rhea is the one who typically seeks affection out and Garrus is good at noticing when she’s needing some love.

They’re not afraid of PDA, though they usually are aware of a time and place for everything.

Who cries the most? Who is better at comforting?

Neither of them are big cryers, shit’s really gotta get to them before that.

As kinda mentioned before, Garrus is real good at comforting Rhea. She’s more likely to show her feelings whereas Garrus tends to internalize that shit and she has to get him to spill the beans. Or he’ll come to her like “hey want company?” which is code for “I want company.” There’s a lot of cuddles when they both need cheering up.

Who is the bigger flirt?

Hoooo man it’s close but Rhea is the bigger flirt. If it weren’t for her making the first move it’d be a looooong time before they’d get together. Garrus has a... rocky start, but once he gets the hang of it he’s unstoppable. People tend to clear out when they get real into it.

#mass effect #mass effect trilogy #rhea shepard #shakarian #shepard x garrus #myart #oc tag meme #tarberrymentats

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mostlykhaotic · 4 years

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Okay so I was on Instagram and I seen that someone had a clip of when Arthur and Dutch were riding in the snow(I think they were on their way to O’Driscolls hideout I’m not too sure). Dutch was talking to Arthur about Colm and these 3 lines caught my attention:

“Some things I can forgive, and some things I can forget. What he did to Annabelle, I can’t do neither.”

“You killed his brother Dutch.”

“Yes, I did, and I hope the bastards be reunited soon enough.”

The way Dutch admits to killing Colm’s brother was interesting. It seemed as if he wasn’t sorry for doing it either. What if Colm’s brother did something to Annabelle prior to his death? This could have been likely considering that Colm is....Colm and as stated during his hanging that he has tortured and abused people. So I mean, his brother had to be as bad as him right? I get that just because one brother is an asshole that doesn’t mean that the other is. But, if they were riding along with each other for at least a decade and one of them (that we know about) is robbing, torturing, abusing, and killing others without any problems or consequences, that has to mean that the other was also doing those same acts just like his brother.

I feel like I’m getting side track but all I’m trying to say is that I feel like Colm’s brother did something to Annabelle, something that caused Dutch to snap and (possibly brutally) kill him. And the way Dutch talks about Annabelle throughout the story, I can come to the conclusion that he truly loved her(or at least more than he did Molly). I also believe that their time together was not like the disfunctional relationship that Dutch and Molly had.

(I think I got side track a-fucking-gain but hey this is my first time giving my own opinion that was this long on tumblr 🤷🏾‍♀️)

#just an opinion #dont fight me #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #dutch van der linde #red dead redemption #van der linde gang #arthur morgan #colm o'driscoll #rdr2 spoilers

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flawedconqueror · 4 years

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Opening up

Today, I was exhausted as it’s the second day of my period

I almost wanted to stay home

But it’s youth day and I was voluntold to serving

I actually didn’t ask Marie what time I’m suppose to go, so I made sure to check

I did go late as I made a Booster Juice stop

I rationed I needed to be fully energetic as my period seems to have taken so much energy from me

I notice I am more open and happy, not as dodgy in church

Actually feeling embraced and happy to see the greeters at the church...

I sit and see some more familiar faces Charmaine, her mom, Sister Joy and her husband

I then proceed to listen to the service

It sounds good and juicy

Pastor John speaks on homelessness, Methula on abuse

I actually want to stay and finish the rest of the sermon...

But i go to the kitchen

It’s tense

I get a surge of adrenalin

Chicken being fried, chicken being tossed, spices in a section

I clear the table so trays can be moved

Eventually I start serving the cabbage

And I know it’s silly but I’m doing it more confidently

I remember years ago in Wonderland my anxiety made me second guess everything

Now I am willing to walk naked and show my chest

I don’t need to be liked

I don’t need to be at every gathering

I am okay with myself

Soon more people come and it’s an assembly line of serving chicken, sauce, cabbage, dumplings

There is a unity in the disfunction

A common goal

A cause

It was beautiful

I saw Pastor Jennifer, I waved but i’m not sure if she saw it’s okay

I will keep trying

I also gave some hugs, I think I hugged with conviction like I meant it

Also that reminds me of pervy Laundro mat owner

i need to set boundaries and there’s nothing wrong with that

he totally crossed the line

I admit I made a cocoon for myself

I used to be so bold

I made friends with something at a bus stop

Now I’m so muted

I carry apathy, indifference as my armour

I don’t want to open up

Mind you, I’m tired of making friends who dissipate

I do want to invest in my old friends as God leads

I really cherish and care about them

I miss Cris, but maybe I’m forcing a narrative that was never mines to be with

My own emotions are being marred to hear God properly

I didn’t do work and I don’t feel guilty

I will make a game plan to get back on track as I am overwhelmed

I definitely need to be paid at least 50K next year as I hope to move out (breakthrough as this time last year I didn’t give a s for goals)

I also talked to my mom and I hope to drop my hat off

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wildlyhopefulconfidence-blog · 6 years

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Mothers

I may not be a mother, but I of course have a mother, and I am so thankful for my mom. My faith in God is what it is today largely because of my mother and how she held me with an open hand to God. She has made it possible in many different ways for me to be who I am today, through her love and joy, her talents and beautiful characteristics, as well as her mistakes. And if you look at it, so has yours.

I’ve had a pretty good upbringing, not perfect, but I know my parents have loved me the best they’ve known how, and for that I am extremely thankful. My mother has fought through much more than I will probably ever know to be who she is today, and I am forever grateful for who she is and how she and my dad have raised me. Through all her battles, she raised my sisters and I, so there’s bound to be some debris.

My outlook on my family growing up was that I had it pretty made actually, no drastic trauma, my parents are still married, we all loved each other, so it actually made it a little difficult for me to recognise or admit where there were failures or hurts from life in my family, we all have them, but some are easier to see for some reason than others, and therefore easier to admit. But over the last few years, God has been bringing things to the surface of my heart, life views, self-views, beliefs, perceptions, outlooks, etc, some wonderful and great, and some not all that pretty.

I don’t have to be a mother to understand that motherhood is not easy, from the pressures of society and culture to the pressures of family traditions and expectations, every mother usually tries her best to have her children’s best interest at heart, but we’re all bound to get it a bit wrong. And to recognise where a parent has let us down, hurt us, caused damage, misunderstood us, misjudged us, or abandoned us, etc, can be really tough, as well as admitting that or how it affected us.

To these realisations I would like to speak, yes our mothers may have made their own mistakes, and we may have things we have to work through that are after effects of those mistakes, but she never promised to be perfect or to not make mistakes.

I think we hear one of two things a lot of times when we get to the topic of our mothers, (though not limited to these two), one being; “my mother is so amazing, she has supported me and loved me and pushed me to pursue my dreams, I know I wouldn’t be who I am today without her.”

And another other is, “my mother never seemed to care about me, she didn’t love me, she told me how horrible I was, she left me, she blamed me for her mistakes, my mother was just not a good mother, I know I wouldn’t be who I am today without her…I have this crap in my life because of her.”

Or somewhere in between, your mother doesn’t have to have abused you to have hurt you or let you down in your expectations of what a mother should be.

But can I say, I think it’s very easy for us to get stuck in saying, “I got that problem from my mother” and/or, “that issue is in me because of my mother”, and yes, it’s very valid and needed to understand where something came from to help us along our journey of healing. And those things need to take their time to process and be worked through to get to our healing and freedom.

Recognising where and how our imperfect upbringings have affected us is part of our walk into freedom.

Even if you’ve been raised in a relatively normal or amazing family, there are still places of imperfections or dysfunction that affect our personal outlook on ourselves and the world around us.

Here’s one way I kind of see it, that it can be like walking around wearing cloaks we thought were supposed to protect us, but we keep getting injured and wondering why our cloak isn’t shielding us. Then we find out that this cloak is old and worn out, passed down from our family, it has holes in it, and wouldn’t even protect us from a needle. So we maybe get angry or sad, but at least we understand that it’s not really our fault. But after this realisation, we don’t get rid of the old cloak. Yes we maybe clean it up a bit, patch some of the holes and such, but we keep using it, blaming our mother or family every time it doesn’t work to protect us. But what we haven’t realised, is that it was never meant to shield us, and it never will.

Jesus is standing there with a brand new cloak that, like an Elvin cloak, will shield us and hide us from the enemy and keep us safe. But He can’t give us this cloak while we are still holding onto the old one.

What old cloaks may you be wearing that you were never meant to wear?

And are there any judgements, bitterness or offenses you’ve held against your mother or yourself that you need to forgive and release?

We have the choice and the power to lay down that old cloak and take Jesus’ new cloak of love, freedom and peace. We need to let go of our offenses or judgements on our family. Because after we have recognised and seen the issues for ourselves, it’s no longer their fault that we continue to operate in them. We have the freedom to choose forgiveness, Jesus wants our freedom even more than we do and He loves us too much to leave us under the cloaks of old mindsets and judgements.

God can use the revelations we get when we’ve realised some of our disfunctions and issues have come from mistakes our family has made. It is a very freeing thing when we can recognise that ‘this or that’ came from my mother, or my father, or my grandmother, or granddad, though today we’re talking about mothers. Recognising that something we don’t like has come from our mother, in either genetics or in how she treated me, or judged me, or didn’t love me the way I receive love etc, can be a big step towards more freedom in our lives…but only if we’re willing to not hold onto it and hold it against her once we’ve recognised it.

It’s a comfort to finally figure out that there’s a reason for something in your life you haven’t understood before but, as soon as the comfort in knowing where something came from, becomes my excuse for not moving forward in life, it becomes a new dysfunction disguised as freedom. Disguised as that comfort of it “not being my fault” or “knowing who to blame”.

Can I tell you something? Once we have recognised it, once we have seen it, it’s no longer on her that we aren’t able to change, it’s on us, we are the one who makes the choice whether or not to live within that thing.Yes she may have contributed to a dysfunction, and it may be a hereditary bend through our family line towards that dysfunction or problem, but it is not my mother or my grandmother living my life, it’s me. And now that I know where that thing, or things come from, I can fight it in a new way.

I bet if I look back on my family line, the problem or problems I’ve seen were stronger the further back I go. Each generation generally tries to do better than the last, it’s the way we’re wired as humans, we try to overcome where we see the shortcomings or failures of our past generations. And with each generation we can usually see where it improves, small or big there have probably been shifts and breakthroughs throughout our family lines.

My mother may have made her mistakes but she pushed through things I never had to push through because she conquered it for me, and her mother conquered things in her life my mother therefore never had to go through, and on and on and on.

So yes, our mothers may not be perfect, but who is? And holding onto that unforgiveness and blame and excuse of the crap in our lives being because of her shortcomings? That will not get us to the level of conquering or freedom we desire and seek. Half the battles we fight in our lives no one else will see.

So for all the unseen battles fought and won, for all the unseen and unrecognised conquering our mothers have done for us, thank you.

Thank you for not giving up on us by not giving up on yourselves, thank you for doing the best you knew how.

And for all the ways our mothers may have failed or hurt us, I invite you to forgive, to stop holding it against her and blaming her for your mistakes or imperfections, let us let go of where we have held our life problems over her or blamed them on her, our problems are our responsibility, no one else’s.

Let us move forward into another level of freedom in our lives because of our mothers, let us go out and continue conquering where she may have left off. Let us release the chain of blame so we can move forward into deeper healing and freedom.

So thank you, to all the mothers, imperfections and all, for all the sacrifices, for letting us go the best you knew how, and thank you for making it possible for us to continue our walk into freedom with the advantage of the battles you’ve already won.

And if you are reading this and saying, that’s not my story, my mother left me, my mother doesn’t seem to have conquered anything for our family line. First, I am truly sorry for your pain, I can honestly say that I don’t know what it’s like to walk in your shoes, but I do know this, Jesus is longing to heal you and set you free from this pain, you have the power to start those breakthroughs and conquering’s now, you can make new choices now, starting with you. And you don’t have to do it alone, I know I can’t go through life without my connection to God, to my Jesus, but I also can’t go through life without those God has placed in my life to help me. So I encourage you, in fact I encourage us all, to reach out to God, talk to Him as you would a friend, He really does loves you with an everlasting love and wants to help you into freedom and healing. Reach out to those around you who can help, if you don’t have anyone, ask God to lead you to someone who can help, seeking out good counselling can be very helpful, and there may be a community group in your area you can get connected to.

But don’t think you have to walk through life alone, because you don’t.

Last but not least,

Thank you for all the stand in mothers in our lives, for all the spiritual mothers who have given above and beyond to see us succeed in life, thank you for speaking up, for stepping up to the plate, for taking us up, for spending time with us when you didn’t have to.

There are so many in the world who had no other mother besides you, and you have no idea how many lives you have probably saved because of your brave and courageous kindness, love and sacrifice.

Happy Mothers Day

#mothers #changeyourlife #letgoofthepast #thoughts #youcontrolyourfuture #challenge #family #stopblaming

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queenebip-blog · 7 years

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17 Essential Best Practices for Making Things Happen

1. Keep the promises you make to yourself. I learned this one from Stephen Covey – we make little promises to ourselves all the time (“I’m going to stop working on weekends.” or “I’ll definitely get a workout in tonight.”) These promises are in fact more important to keep than the ones you make to your customers, your boss or your family. Because private victories come before public ones. 2. If you’ve got a good idea, try to take some kind of action on it right away. Too often good ideas slip away, either due to momentum (it was exciting at the moment, but less so now) or just through forgetfulness. So when you have a good idea, send an email to a potential collaborator, sketch out some designs, or at the very least, make an Evernote note for the idea. 3. Insert a little personality / humanity into your communication. For a variety of reasons, most businesses tend to speak very formally to their customers. Professionals often write formally to each other as well. It’s stifling and dehumanizing. I’ve found very positive responses in just adding, say, a smiley to the end of a newsletter, or a friendly PS at the bottom of an otherwise formal email. Here are other ways to give your communication some personality. 4. Tell people when their behavior is undermining the success of a shared outcome. While it might feel a little intimidating, it is your responsibility to proactively and responsibility alert folks that you’ve noticed they tend to interrupt the client (or choose undescriptive variable names or whatever!) and could they watch out for that in the future? Learning how to deliver negative feedback effectively is crucial. 5. Make every effort to understand someone else’s motivations for acting a certain way, especially if you disagree with it. Humans are notoriously bad at appreciating how another person thinks and feels. What’s the back story here? How might this person’s experience, position, skillset, social group, and value system cause them to act in this way. Many disagreements and corporate disfunction would be resolved if we all did this. 6. If you find yourself doing a lot of things only because “your boss said so”, it’s time to leave. As per BP #5, it is your job to understand what your boss cares about and what’s important for the organization. But if consistently you think your assignments are not the right ones, you’ve done your best to make the case for a different approach, and keep getting shut down or told to do it “because I said so”, you need to get out of this team, and maybe this organization. 7. If it is 80% done, and getting it to perfect is going to take a lot more effort, ship it, and fix it later. You’ll be surprised to find out how few things actually need to be “perfect”. This doesn’t give you an excuse to phone it in, but I’m a big believer in being prolific over being perfect. 8. Don’t gloss over the setbacks and hard parts of the story. I hate when speakers skip over the uncomfortable struggles and difficulties they faced in becoming successful. It makes the victory seem too magical and “meant to be”. When you share stories of your achievements, make sure to leave the tough parts in. I tried to do that in talking about my journey to winning the NCAA championships. 9. Most people really hate uncertainty. If you’re an entrepreneurial type, remember that most people aren’t and they don’t like facing a future that is uncertain. Help them feel more comfortable by showing that your ideas have precedent, and give a sense of the possible outcomes and how likely they are to happen. 10. Don’t offer too many options. Likewise, people don’t do well with too large a menu of options. Try to provide no more than three options and make sure one choice is the “recommended” one. 11. Model the kind of behavior you want to see in those around you. If you want people to work long hours, work long hours. If you want people to admit when they make mistakes, do the same yourself. No one respects a hypocrite. 12. Never get defensive. You should behave in such a way that if you’re ever called out on what you’ve done, you can look the other person in the eye and say in all honesty “I stand by that decision as it was the best one I could have made at the time.” If you can’t say that, ask yourself why not. 13. If everyone thinks it is a good idea, it might not be a very good idea. The winners of hackathons and business plan competitions are rarely the most successful companies. The best ideas are typically controversial, and often look very much like bad ideas.Find out what’s going to be on the test. Remember those annoying kids who used to ask if anything was going to be on the test? Well, they were on to something. Make sure you know what metrics, feelings or judgements will define your success, and concentrate your efforts there. 14. There is something valuable to be learned from everything. Even with “worthless” tasks, be they boring, impossible, unrelated to your normal responsibilities or just plain tedious, you won’t waste your effort if you learn something from your actions. It might be a skill, an insight about people, or just a deeper understanding of how a system works. Writing and reflecting helps you appreciate and capture those learning. 15. If you’re achieving 100% of your goals, you aren’t thinking big enough. Only by really pushing yourself will you discover what you’re truly made out of. Whether it is a workout, a deadline, a business deal or a romantic partner, you’ve got to go out on a limb and reach for more than you think you can get. 16. When the right opportunity arises, seize it by the fucking throat. Once in awhile, a very special opportunity emerges – to travel somewhere, meet someone special, do something amazing. 17. When you get that gut feeling that this is a big deal, do not hesitate to drop everything else you’re doing and pour all your energies into wringing that opportunity for everything it is worth.

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