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ssamie · 3 years

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nine. “partners in crime and suicide”

kozume kenma x fem dazai!reader

(bsd x hq)

tw: mentons of suicide & breaking into arcades

masterlist. suicide freak!

"thank you for having us!" fukurodani exclaimed as they bowed. it was the end of their three-day practice match, and fukurodani was about to leave and were waiting for their bus.

"hey hey hey!" bokuto called out. he waved his arms around, trying to get y/n's attention, all while akaashi quietly stood beside him.

she chuckled and jogged over to the boy. "hey to you too, bokuto" she mused

"y/n-chan! im gonna miss you!" bokuto said dramatically as he wrapped his beefy arms around her

"i'll miss you too" she laughed "i'll be missing your awesome spikes, bokuto!" bokuto beamed from the praise and hugged her even tighter. "i know right! my spikes are awesome!"

"you're too nice to him, y/n-san" akaashi commented

"yeah, he's been thriving off your compliments for days" konoha snickered as he walked past "he'll probably be down in the slumps once he can't hear you cheering for him anymore"

bokuto pouted and rested his cheek on top of her head. "you're all so mean~" he whined

"oi, oi, oi!" kuroo called out "bokubro, hands off our manager!" he glared playfully

"no way!! join our team instead, y/n-chan!!" bokuto cried out as he squeezed her even tighter and swayed her around. "we already have two managers, bokuto-san" akaashi says as he tried to peel his huge arms off of her

"we can have three!" bokuto countered

"you can stick with two." kenma interjected. kenma stared him down, not talking nor blinking, silently waiting for him to let the girl go.

"r-right!" bokuto smiled nervously. he let her go and sheepishly avoided eye contact with kenma.

"kenma~" she cooed as she slithered her way towards him. "let's go out later" she suggested

"where?" he asked

"its a surprise, of course!" she exclaimed with a grin

"you're not gonna kill me, are you?"

"this is surprisingly nice.." kenma says as he pokes his mochi with his chopsticks

y/n was sat across from him, a cup of tea in hand as she placed her mochi on his plate. "right? this is the usual restaurant the agency goes to" she said with a small smile

kenma nodded and looked out the window as he chews on the sakura mochi. his cat-like eyes watched the cars and people pass by the streets. it was nearing night time, and the sky was slowly darkening, causing the street lights to turn on.

"so, y/n.." he trailed off

"hm?" she hummed back

"why-" kenma stops himself, subconsciously letting out a tired sigh as he watched her pour some suspicious liquid into her drink.

"what the hell are you doing?" kenma deadpanned as he watched her happily mix the contaminated tea.

"shh! let me have my moment, kenma-kun!" she shushed him she giddily grasped the cup and brought it up to her lips.

"y/n, stop that!" kenma exclaimed as he took the drink from her hands

"what did you put in this?! it smells like death in a washing machine!" kenma gagged. he scrunched his nose up as he poured it out the window, emptying the cup before placing it back beside him, so she couldn't reach for it.

"kenma! that was my suicide potion!" she cried out childishly

"your suicide potion?" kenma deadpanned "that's stupid. please don't-"

"dont worry though, i brought an extra one just in case!" she exclaimed "although it's just the chemicals so it'll probably sting my throat a bit"

"how about you don't drink anything at all" kenma sighed. he shoved a mochi in her mouth and snatched the small bottle from her.

"i thought we came here to have a peaceful meal, not so i could watch you die" he said "plus.. there's something i've been meaning to ask you" kenma said "but you just ruined the moment."

"aw! are you finally agreeing to the double suicide?!" she asked with a huge grin. she took his hands in hers and intertwined their fingers together. "is that why you took the drink from me?"

"you wanted to drink it together, didn't you?!"

"no."

kenma shook his head and stared at their hands. more specifically, her bandages. "i wanted to know why you wore these bandages all the time.." he muttered

he looked up to meet eyes with her. though, he soon panicked and frantically bowed his head in apology "i-i mean, if that's okay with you!" he shrieked "it's totally fine if you don't wanna tell me.."

kenma gulped as she continued to stare at him with her (e/c) eyes and an unreadable expression. she then chuckled and pulled her hands away, stuffing them in her pockets as she leaned back on her seat

"well, why do you think i wear them all the time?" she mused

"um.. for injuries?" kenma replied, though he wasn't so sure of his answer

she hummed and nodded along, not confirming nor denying it.

"um, maybe for style?" he asked "though, you'd look perfectly fine without them" he said

"would you like me not to wear my bandages?" she asked him

"um well, no" kenma shrugged "i think it'd feel weird and new if i saw you without them"

"maybe you just like bondage." she suggested with a straight face

"i what??" kenma spluttered as a soft pink hue covered his cheeks "where did that come from?!"

"i dunno, kenma-kun" she shrugged "maybe the reason you like seeing me in bandages so much is because-"

"i don't wanna hear it." kenma groaned

"also.. ʷʰᵒ ʷᵃˢ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵍᵘʸ ᵗʰᵉ ᵒᵗʰᵉʳ ᵈᵃʸ?" he muttered bashfully

she raised an eyebrow curiously as she asked him to repeat the question.

"i asked.. who was that guy the other day?" kenma said much louder, much to his embarrassment

"oh." she mumbled. just then, an evil grin formed on her lips as she giggled tauntingly. "oya oya~ why do you ask, kenma~" she teased as she poked on his cheeks

"i- no reason, okay!" kenma exclaimed

he puffed out his reddened cheeks and looked down on his lap, letting his hair cover his face as he tried to ignore her teasing remarks "i just heard that he was your 'old partner' and i got curious" he said

"and how did you hear that, hm?" she smirked "were you spying on me?"

kenma paled at the realisation of his slip up and groaned "well no- okay, kind of.."

"we were just curious so we followed you.. but we stopped after you left the cafe" he admitted

"hm, well his name is chuuya" she said with a fond smile "he's like a tiny chihuahua, and will probably bite you if you touch him"

"oh.." kenma muttered "you guys seemed close..does he work for your agency too?" he asked

she chuckled and shook her head. "no, no. quite the opposite of that, actually"

"we're just old friends, i guess." she shrugged "we met at my old job"

"your old job?" kenma raised a brow "i kind of can't imagine you doing anything else, to be honest"

"i mean, i wouldn't have believed you even worked as a detective if you didn't tell me yourself" he said with a soft laugh

"well then, would you like to guess?" she asked with a smile. kenma blinked back, nodding as he pondered over his answer "well, i guess you could've been a.." he trailed off

"um.." kenma groaned in frustration. he stared directly at her face, trying to think of a job suitable for her and her personality, though nothing came to mind.

"dont bother burning your brain out, brat" a voice chimed in

"yeah, y/n's old profession is still a mystery to us" another voice said

kenma, along with y/n, looked back at the door to see kunikida and atsushi entering the cafe

"oh! atsushi, weren't you aiming for the reward?" she chuckled "watch out, kenma might guess correctly before you!" atsushi panicked and rushed over to their side "was he close to the answer?!" atsushi shrieked

"nope! but you can join the guessing game if you want!" she exclaimed with a cheeky grin

"gladly!" atsushi exclaimed, pulling out a chair and setting it between them. "but just for context.." atsushi trailed off "the reward is still in tact right?"

"yup! 700 grand for the correct answer!" she said with a laugh

"700 grand?" kenma muttered "is the answer really that hard to guess?"

"YES! THE ONLY PERSON WHO PROBABLY KNOWS IS RANPO-SAN AND-" atsushi cut himself off as he finally got a good look of kenma ".. youre that boy she's been obsessing about.." atsushi sweat dropped

"y/n-san.." atsushi sent her a knowing glare, which she responds with an offended scoff

"you hurt me, atsushi" she sighed "i asked him out, and he said yes! i didn't force him this time!"

"what do you mean 'this time' ?" kunikida scowled "are you really pestering the poor boy?" kunikida said "sometimes it's like you're asking to be hit"

kenma blinked as he watched them interact, slowly starting to feel awkward as the man in glasses continue to scold her while atsushi went back to guessing.

"writer?!" atsushi guessed "nope!"

"researcher!" ; "nooo!"

"journalist!" ; "boo!"

"fortune teller!" ; "wrong!~"

"interpretor?!" ; "non, non~"

"its all too random.." kenma commented as he, too, tried to think of the right answer

"actor?!" atsushi shrieked "no! but.." she trailed off, placing her hands on her pink cheeks "that's flattering!"

"y/n.." kenma muttered out. he reached over the table to tug on the sleeve of her coat. she screamed internally from his adorable act and faced him "yes?" she asked

".. i wanna go to the arcade" kenma said with a pout

she, quite literally, had to slap her chest repeatedly as she felt her heart beat faster. "kyANMAAA! YOU'RE SO CUTE!" she squealed "of course, we can go!"

"well then, atsushi-kun, do you yeild?" she chuckled as she picked up the check from the table "well, i can't think of any more.." atsushi sighed defeatedly

"then you can take our check!" she exclaimed as she sent him a cutesy smile. she shoved the bill into his hands and skipped away to the exit with kenma's hand in hers

"wait! i don't have any money-"

"bye-bye~" she waved as she closed the door

"now then, let's get to that arcade"

"y/n this is closed." kenma said with a sigh. they were currently standing infront of an arcade, obviously already closed, after walking for about half an hour

"i know, kenma-kun! no need to state the obvious" she mused. she licked her lips as she continued fiddling with the lock, brows furrowing from concentration as she picked it open with a simple hair clip

"so then why are we here??" kenma grumbled "we could've went to other ones that were open. and it's getting really late, you're lucky my parents aren't home for the week" he said

"silly boy, it's not closed if the door is open, right?" she chuckled as she pointed to the arcade doors

"i wha- did you pick the lock?!" kenma whisper shouted "this is illegal! we're literally breaking in!" he hissed out as he tried to run away

though, she simply grasped his wrist and pulled him inside. "its fine, kenma! we'll just leave a note to the owner" she laughed carefreely "besides, it's not that big of a deal! we'll still pay for tokens!" she said with a smile

kenma worriedly tiptoed inside, squinting his cat-like eyes as he tried to adjust to the dark. he slightly winced as bright, and colorful lights suddenly turned on.

"oop- i found the power switch!" she announced "now then, what game should we play first.." she hummed to herself as she eyed each game

"this is it. i'm gonna die. we're gonna get arrested and i'll rot in the prison. thanks a lot." kenma chanted out. he nervously sat down on the seat infront of the screen which showed 'tekken'

(bro i've never played that game before, and what do you call those huge metal box things with the games in arcades wtf ♀️)

"i got tokens!" she exclaimed as she sat on the one across him.

"this is so wrong" kenma said with a shake of his head though despite that, he still reached out for the token and continued to play.

after some time of pretty much trying out each game and tiring themselves out from the DDR machines by performing some embarrassing choreos.

"okay, i kinda want that one" she said as she pointed to the cat plushy "why? there's one here that's so much bigger" kenma said as he pointed to the kuromi plushy which looked like it could swallow them whole

"this cat looks like you." she defended "im gonna name him kyanma, won't that be cute?"

"plus if we get this, we'll have enough tickets to get that game you want"

staying true to her word, they didn't break or steal anything. so technically, they didn't commit a crime, right? well, only if you scratch out the breaking in part.. but that's okay. they had fun and that's all that matters, alright? 😃

"fine.." kenma mumbled as he plucked the plushy and the game off the shelf

they threw the tickets on the counter, flashed the cctv cameras one last peace sign, and left.

"i can't believe i just did that" kenma muttered out with a laugh "but it was fun. thanks for that, y/n" he smiled at her

she blinked and stared at his side profile as they continued their walk home. "it was fun, yeah.." she chuckled

"so.. how's it feel?" she mused "first crime in your record! do you feel like a misunderstood punk teen now?"

"no, i feel like a criminal."

"same thing!" she beamed with a grin

she locked their arms together and gripped the plushy with her free hand, letting it dangle by her side as they walked "i just realized something.." she gasped

kenma raised a brow and side eyed her "what is it?" he asked

"we're now officially partners in crime and suicide!"

"sure" kenma chuckled

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