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nkn0va · 2 months

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Ok hear me out. Kokonoe and Tsubaki with a househusband s/o.

Anon who the FUCK gave you a cooking license? I'm taking it away.

You are now head chef, keep those banger asks incoming.

Step one to being best girl: Have hair a shade of red, pink included.

Step two: Be voiced by Julie Ann Taylor

Kokonoe A. Mercury

-Being one of Sector Seven's top scientists, Kokonoe brings in more than enough to support a household. Realistically, being in Sector Seven yourself, specifically as one of her field agents is the only way you could've gotten to know her well enough to make her of all people want to end up marrying you.

-Being her field agent for so long before marrying her, naturally you've...seen a lot of shit. You were more than happy to hang up the gear and take the role of househusband. You really had no reason not to.

-Half the time, being Kokonoe's husband is like taking care of a child to be completely honest. A hyper intelligent child whose hiding away an entire stockpile of nukes as Hakumen found out in CS, but a child nonetheless.

-Being involved with Kokonoe in any capacity, ESPECIALLY as her husband, requires a lot of patience. Even to her lover she's sassy, short tempered, and sarcastic, all the while being way too absorbed in her work and addicted to that damn silvervine candy.

-She eventually comes to depend on you entirely for her diet. The only way she's eating anything even remotely healthy is if you make it for her, otherwise she's living off silvervine, coffee, and chocolate.

-Most of the time if you wanna see Kokonoe and not just call her (which sometimes she doesn't even pick up), you're gonna have to head over to the lab yourself. If someone else is already there with her, she's gonna tell you to wait until they're gone. She's a bit embarrassed of being seen with her husband by anyone else.

-You're the only guest she ever actually looks forward to, not that she'd admit that out loud (though you already know anyway). Usually when you come visit it's to give her some actually decent food.

-She won't ever admit to it, but she really appreciates when you do it. A homecooked meal from her husband always lifts her mood, reminds her of the life she never got to have since it was taken from her by Terumi. It's one of the few things that actually makes her feel any emotion other than anger, irritation, or a sick satisfaction from watching one of her crazy ass plans come to fruition. You're just glad you can actually make her eat decently for once in her life.

-You'll also have to convince her yourself if you want her to come home for once and get some actual sleep in a proper bed. It'll take some effort but you'll get her to do so at least once a week.

-Sleeping in the same bed as you is the one time Kokonoe truly gets to relax. Once her brain finally winds down she melts into your embrace as she feels the inevitable pull of sleep, purring softly in your arms. Seeing her so unguarded like this is a unique privilege that only you have. God is it fucking precious.

-As much of a pain in the ass she is and how much she can test your patience, it's the moments like these that make it all worth it, when she finally shows her soft side to you and lets you know that she really does care about you. You wouldn't have it any other way.

Tsubaki Yayoi (my beloved 💗)

-Ending up as a househusband is pretty straightforward similar to Kokonoe. This is the heiress/soon to be head of one the families of the Duodecim, bagging this lovely heiress means you never have to work a day in your life again.

-Of course you still wanted to do at least something for such a perfect woman you had the impossible privilege of calling your wife, but she insisted you didn't need to. Eventually househusband was the thing you both agreed to. Maids and servants exist but having her husband fill the role felt much more natural. More cozy, made the house feel more like a home.

-The arrangement ends up being one you're both happy with. Tsubaki is able to continue her duties of an NOL soldier while knowing you're safe and far away from the danger taking care of the house.

-You'll occasionally drop by the base sometimes just to see her whenever you get bored. The other soldiers there eventually get used to your presence and leave you be. Hearing your knock on the door to Tsubaki's office is always the highlight of her day, she'll drop any work she's doing to spend some time with you in what would otherwise be a monotonous, boring shift, especially if you took the time to make her something to eat. It definitely beats the food offered on base.

-Of course it doesn't beat walking through the door of the house every day, having you welcome her home with a kiss. It's all blissfully domestic, like she's always wanted after living a life of such lavish luxury like she has.

-One duty of the house you both share is cooking duty. It's one of her favorite ways to spend time with you while bonding over good food. You two talk about your days, the new gossip in the Duodecim and the base, whatever tomfoolery Makoto's gotten into, overall just getting to wind down and talk about things not relating to work.

-Though speaking of Makoto, her and the rest of Tsubaki's friends on occasion sometimes are called over to have some off time together. As long as there's food prepared by you and her, the last thing anyone needs is there not being food and Noel trying to get into the kitchen.

-It's not long though before the conversation of kids inevitably comes up. Unlike Kokonoe who's probably not the biggest fan of the idea, Tsubaki's quite fond of it. She'd want at least two, she wouldn't want to have an only child that grows up without a sibling like she did. As far as she's concerned, no kid should ever have to be lonely like that, even if they'd have two parents present.

-It probably happens eventually. However many kids you two end up having, she's perfectly happy. Despite growing up richer than almost all their peers, Tsubaki will ensure her kids are raised to have dignity and compassion to the people around them. They're in a safe, loving environment where they can truly learn about the world around them and learn to appreciate it for what it is.

-Now she has even more to come home to every day, with her precious little bundles of joy. It reminds her of why she does what she does why she fights to uphold justice. So that families like hers never have to suffer pain, and can live in a world free of injustice and suffering.

-You. Her children. Her family. It is why she fights, the family she would put her life on the line to protect. Her entire world. Her past, present, and future.

#blazblue #relationship headcanons #headcanon #tsubaki yayoi #kokonoe mercury #domestic fluff #fluff #x reader #anon ask #answered

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barbecuedphoenix · 7 years

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I would like to see a AU with the Eldarya guys/people in a coffe shop

Let’s be honest: it’s goingto be the single least efficient coffee shop in the city. But people will keepcoming for the eye candy… >u>

Warning:Longest head-canon, ever. 14 characters,each with their own little stories.

Nevra, the Head Waiter

Naturally, this snake oilmerchant with fangs ladies’ man is going to be where the action is: on themain floor, catering to all the customers personally. (Because no one cantrust him in handling kitchen or bar-top equipment.) He’s got the drive,the guile, the inbred hospitality, and the metaphorical eyes on the back of hishead to pull off even a morning or evening rush single-handed. And later bragabout the triple-figure tips, phone numbers, and juicy gossip he collected that day to his coworkers in the back-room, even when his voice is hoarse and his feethave lost all feeling. Nevra actually keeps track of his ‘scores’ in hispersonal agenda-book, always ready to outdo himself every month. (Because let’sface it… there is no competition for him from the rest of the servers.)

Though quite a few of hiscoworkers feel like putting fresh garlic in his next espresso (for himself orfor his ‘beloved customers’), they can’t do it for a few reasons: 1.) Thecustomers and tips that Nevra brings in make up half the café’s total income.The place will sink without his pretty, monocular face on the floor. 2.) He’sactually generous with his coworkers. Newbies on the staff know they can relyon him (until they’re used as customer bait during evening rushes for‘experience’). And he never keeps any of his tips for himself, always making apoint of strutting to the collective tip jar to put in what looks like theprice for a new smartphone. So whether they like him or not, the gigolo has to stay.

Nevra is quite proud of hisjob, and hopes to eventually see the café become the city’s next ‘must-seedestination’ (or, more likely, buy and renovate the place as part of hisnetwork of high-end dining spots). So he doesn’t tolerate unprofessional shenaniganson his floor (beyond swapping phonenumbers, which is sanctified activity as far as he’s concerned). What’sguaranteed to tick him off: if a customer is boorish to one of his babiesjunior serving staff, if one of his coworkers half-asses an order, or if hecatches anyone stealing from that tip jar he’s filling. In either case, thecriminal party can expect to find themselves sheepishly shuffling to the doorunder the force of Nevra’s gimlet smile.

Ezarel, the Baristo and Assistant Baker

Who would have thought thatthe biochemist graduate student / coddled trust-fund baby would have to dirtyhis hands by working part-time in a common city café? But that’s exactly whathappened after a late night prank against another obnoxious student in theuniversity lab went a little too far. Switching reagent labels can yield somenasty results. Long story short: the lab was quarantined for weeks, Ezarel’sparents received a damages bill that looked like the price for one fullsemester, and Ezarel was given an ultimatum via Skype conference: pay off thatbill himself and grow up, or get pulled out of the university.

It took weeks of inglorious job-hunting in the city—because thatprank got him blacklisted by university staff and technicians, so he couldn’teven work on campus—before Ezarel scored a job making pastries andridiculously-creamy lattes at the café. Thanks to that waiter Nevra wholistened to his story, laughed his ass off, and then hooked him up for aninterview with the café’s owner Miiko. His only qualifications: over six yearsof advanced biochemistry with a stellar GPA (campus shenanigansnotwithstanding), and an aristocratic palate when it comes to sweets. He knows when a crème brulee isn’t up toscratch, damn it.

So now wise-guy Ezarel worksfour to five hours a day at the café, slowly paying off his debt in-between jugglingclasses. He’s either at the counter, trolling customers about type-2 diabeteswhile serving up their perfect triple-sugar-dark-chocolate macchiatos, or in thekitchen: up to his elbows in flour, sugar frosting his hair and eyebrows, and tickingoff the head baker Karuto whenever he points out that the latter is skirtingcity health regulations. Or that the lemon-ginger-coconut coffee cake needs a lot less coconut cream and more‘natural’ ingredients that won’t bloat waistlines.

Still, despite hisinsistence that he’s only staying until he pay off that lab bill, Ezarel atheart is aware that he rather likes this job. He knows he’s the best in handling the ornery steamers and coffeegrinders. And there’s something satisfying with this kind of applied chemistry(that results in him taking home a thermos of spiced honey-chai tea latte andhalf-a-dozen day-old pastries each time). Plus, pissing-off Karuto only getsbetter when it’s his turn to write both the ‘joke of the day’ and ‘daily specials’on the café’s menu board. Valkyon is always forced to correct the weirdthings that Ezarel writes there—like ‘Ye Olde Goat’s Beard Sandwiches’– tosave his skin.

Valkyon, the Cashier and Security Guard

Normally, it’s considered a questionable marketing decision toplace a silent, burly, six-foot-three man at the register, where customersshould be encouraged to indulge themselves with their next order. But afterNevra caught their last cashier stealing from the register and thetip jar, Miiko opted for foolproof honesty instead of charisma.

Valkyon is only slightly-less wooden than the counter he’smanaging, but every day, the café’s revenue stays strictly on par with theinvoices. Café lines also seem to move faster: it seems that his silent staremakes customers universally uncomfortable, so they never dare to spend morethan four seconds on deciding their order. And just because this man doesn’tmake small-talk doesn’t mean he can’t memorize half-a-dozen complex coffeeorders on hearing them once, or whip out exact change for a massive bill infive seconds without reaching for the calculator. Best of all, Valkyon has anuncanny way of discouraging customers from protesting at the rise in menuprices, with just a scowl and ten words: “We’re compensating for changes in thesupply chain. It’s procedure.”

No one really knows where he came from or why a guy like him isworking at the café’s register, but if they’re smart, they’ll refrain fromasking. And instead sneak a look over the counter at the metal baseball bat hekeeps hidden below the register at all times. Because Valkyon’s real job iskeeping the café a family-friendly place when it’s smack in the middle of arough inner-city district. He pulls the longest hours out of everyone in thecafé because he’s also the bouncer and nighttime security guard. Mostopportunistic youths on the streets now give the café a wide berth after dark,even when there’s only Valkyon inside by the register, quietly tallying theday’s profits with the invoices. That’s because the last ill-timed break-in hadalready become a district legend: ending with two tables and six chairs broken,the steamer on the other side of the floor from the counter, and one sobbingyoung man who locked himself in the customer bathroom while Valkyon, without ascratch, still holding the locked register protectively under one arm, finallyphoned the police.

Coworkers say that for someone who performs such a vital role inthe café, Valkyon never asks for much. Beyond a free mug of strong barley teafor himself and a bag of leftover cheese, seeds, and nuts for his pet mouseafter every shift. As well as the right to keep a live video-feed on said mouseplaying on his phone next to the register at all times, so he’ll be the firstto know if the little nugget ever takes sick while he’s away at work. EvenEzarel has given up on teasing him about it.

Miiko, the Café Owner

It will take a person withthe patience of a saint and the savvy of a media mogul to save this screwy caféon the wrong side of town. And the job fell like a bowling ball into Miiko’s lap when her mentor suddenlycroaked and left her the once-award-winning café in his will. She wastechnically jobless at the time, so accepting ownership of the café seemed likethe most sensible thing to do. Never mind that she knew zilch about foodservice at the time and has a fuse short enough to send bomb techniciansscattering in fear: she could learn on the job, right?

Every day since the attorneyread out her extended-death-sentence from the will, Miiko has been fighting thefeeling that she’s paying for the biggestmistake of her life. Especially with a near-total staff turnover everyeight weeks, a stubborn average of three stars (approximately) on Yelp!,spreadsheets that break-even at best, and an ongoing list of complaints on bizarrethings that keep happening in the café that boggle even her mind. (It alsodoesn’t help that she ends up yelling at half their sponsors and cateringpartners in her office within forty-five seconds on average, but hey, that’swhy she keeps Leiftan around to scout for new options. Their café may not havemany friends, but they have their pride, damn it!)

Still. Miiko can’t forceherself to get rid of the core staff of the café. Even when half of them areuntested but loyal desperados scraped in from the streets, and the other halfhave major personality problems. She of all people knows what it’s like to bethrown a lifeline at the last moment. So every time she sweeps into the caféfor an inspection and her complementary matcha tea, she deliberately curbs her tongueat seeing Chrome scrub off Ashkore’s latest round of graffiti on the frontwindow, or when Alajea drops a tray of hot Americanos onto an old man’s lap, orwhen Nevra chats up the gaggle of college girls in the corner and leaves white-facedYkhar on the floor to field other customers, or when Karuto gets an apoplexyagain on finding Ezarel’s newest ‘correction’ to the café’s menu board. They’llall learn as she will, in time. As the captain of this ship, she just has totry to be optimistic.

Leiftan, the CaféRepresentative

He’s perhaps Miiko’ssaving grace in the chaotic café: the reliable second-in-command who dropped insuddenly and mysteriously like a blessing from the clouds when she was stillpulling the establishment out of the grave. A suave man with the literalpatience of an angel and that disarmingly-gentle smile, it didn’t take long forLeiftan to be given the job that Miiko loathed: currying favor with otherdining spots, reviewers, patrons, and sponsors across the city. Talking topeople and building networks is his specialty, really; he couldn’t object tothe job in good conscience.

But because Miiko andthe staff go through their contacts like a teenaged girl goes through facialtreatments, Leiftan is constantly onthe road looking for more flexible critics, better suppliers, more generoussponsors, kinder allies, and worthwhile employees (to name a few). For some,he’ll counsel them carefully behind Miiko’s back before bringing them tothe café: warning them on what to expect, how to drop her guard, and especiallywhat not to say to stay in her office for at least a few minutes. (Forty-fiveseconds is the average, the last time he checked; those are steep odds, so theyhad better heed his words well.)

Still, for all hisnegotiator’s savvy, the café is somehow stuck at three stars and repelling thebig names in the city’s dining and entertainment industry like a geriatric at ared-carpet event. The catering business is a tough one, he likes to remindMiiko (and others) whenever he returns from another apparently-unsuccessfulmeeting with a prospective supplier or client. Patience is a virtue.

In his rare off-time,the last thing that Leiftan wants is to spend too much time in the café; ascharming as the little place is, it has become synonymous with work in hismind. So at most, he stops by for a caramel macchiato and croissant to-go, andto give a kind word to whatever new face he sees behind the counter. Because heknows (through grueling experience) that there’s a 90% chance they’ll resign intwo weeks.

Kero, the Accountant

He became Miiko’slong-suffering accountant when he showed up at her café one day, nervouslyclutching her ad in the newspaper, and stammered his way through the interviewand why he wasn’t working for major corporations anymore. He was stillstammering for a chance to prove his skill with numbers when Miiko told himthat she’d see him tomorrow morning on the second-floor office. And then heburst into tears, forcing her to brew him a cup of Earl Grey tea to calm himdown. But that part of the story is kept strictly between him and his new boss.

Since then, Kero has servedMiiko with ferocious loyalty on their shared office floor above the café, pullingin generous overtime without being asked, and never so much as asking for araise after all the scrupulous spreadsheets and tax-forms he prepares. His onlygrief is that she doesn’t seem very… patient when listening to his financialadvice. Those meetings always seemed to end with a shot-gun blast of “Are yousaying we can’t work this out?”, forcing Kero to apologize for questioning herdedication and promise to look for more options on his end. And then retiringto his desk, to blink down at his papers and wonder how the hell that happened again. He swore he woulddo better for himself here…

Jamon, the Supplier

An independentWHO-certified, fair-trade organic and vegetarian grocer who was one of Miiko’searliest suppliers, and to date, the one who has lasted the longest. It’smostly because of a strange loyalty he feels to the café’s offbeat cast ofcharacters, who’re always happy to brew a ginseng-fortified kale smoothie justfor him from their salad greens (though he’s also aware none of them couldstomach the same vegetables he could). And frankly, they really look like they can use some help.

So even though he’s notmaking much of a profit by supporting them, Jamon continues to make regularwhole-sale deliveries to Miiko’s café at a sizable discount. Carting enormouscrates from his 100% fossil-fuel free pedal-and-solar-powered car to theirkitchen, either solo or with Cameria for major loads. And always shrugging offthe baristo, baristas, and main baker with a blasé air when they complain atthe ‘rabbit food’ he gives them to work with. Jamon will just grunt his usualline for disgruntled shoppers: it’s healthy for them and the environment. Noreturns.

Karuto, the Head Baker

A cantankerous war veteranand baker said to have been kicked out from a hotel kitchen after getting intoa fist-fight with the manager (though some versions of the tale involved arolling pin, or a bag of flour and a lit cigarette). Regardless, he wound up atMiiko’s modest café looking for a fresh start and what he hoped would be arespite for his piano-wire nerves and high-altitude cholesterol in his middleyears. The reality has turned out to be anything but, considering the clownsthat he now works with.

The worst of the lot is thatobnoxious rich-college-boy who works part-time in his kitchen, and is alwaysready to criticize his creations and his method with that ridiculous grin.The only things that keep Karuto from repeating that stunt with his ex-hotelmanager are a.) reminding himself that he can beat that skinny kid like baguettedough without breaking a sweat, b.) Ezarel’s body is probably insured to a six-figuresum, and c.) taking a pack of cigarettes and a daily mug of Irish coffee in the back alley, with a quadruple-shot ofespresso mixed into the hard liquor. It’s still a hard-knock life.

Ykhar, the Barista and Junior Waitress

A perky but anxious youngjournalism student who found herself at a loss at how the logical tradition of interningat newspapers was doing nothing for her student debts. She came to Miiko’s caféat first looking for a quiet place to sit and mope with a mug ofchamomile-and-honey tea, maybe with almond milk if they had any. Ykhar wasvery surprised, and more than a little in awe, when the elegant, fierybarista—Miiko herself working at the counter at the time—walked up with herorder and asked what was bothering her. A trial job was offered that samenight.

Since then Ykhar has thrownherself into her new job as barista and waitress with the same zeal andbreathless eye-to-detail that set her apart in all the newspapers shevolunteered at. (And limited her to no more than five-hour shifts a day unlessparamedics are on call. Her feet in their Birkenstocks always ache by thesecond hour. And customers have learnt to take pity on her every time shescrews up an order and starts looking green in the face.) Because the hecticjuggling of orders, customers, and workplace health regulations in a café isonly good practice for the hectic world of media, right?

She’s also powered by thatcollege girl’s desire to impress the alphas in her circle—namely glamorous Miikoand worldly, charismatic Leiftan. So as part of her daily ‘mirror pep-talk’ inthe employee bathroom, Ykhar talks to herself like she is Miiko: the fiery vixen and mistress of the bar who won’t takeshit from anyone! And when thatconfidence collapses at the first customer who comes up to her with an “ActuallyI didn’t order this…”, she goes back to the bathroom for five minutes andimagines it’s Leiftan giving her a second pep-talk: that she’s still a champeven with one or two mistakes on her record, as long as she learns to forgive,pick herself up, learn to do better, and getto that next customer surely waiting outside…!

Alajea, the Other Barista and Junior Waitress

Balancing out high-strungYkhar is the airy-fairy musician Alajea, who works part-time at the café whenshe isn’t out trying to score a record deal with her voice. So far, she’s gladthat none of the producers and coaches she meets know that she’s the singlebiggest source of daily expenses in her day-job, from the number of orders shefumbles, and the dishes, mugs, cakes, and coffees that don’t exactly end up ontabletops where they’re supposed to be. (If she’s lucky that day, they won’tend up on the customer either.) Or that she’s the biggest drain on the café’s supplyof apricot syrup and lemon zest, for all the bubbly iced teas she likes tobrew for herself on the side.

No one’s sure why Miikohasn’t fired her yet. But it might be because no one else takes care of thetoddlers, the loners, and the pet dogs and cats that sometimes find their wayinto the café. Alajea may forget to bring the half-dozen coffees-to-go to thatbusinessman by the door chewing his nails and glancing spasmodically at hiswristwatch. But she never forgets to bring frosted strawberry macaroons to thatfour-year-old getting ignored by her mother as she rails about her husband toher girlfriend, or free coffee to the long-faced old man in the corner with hisarmload of newspapers, or to sneak a bowl of milk and old chicken sandwiches tothat fat dog lolling under the corner table. Fortunately, Nevra taught her thatfeeding chocolate or coffee to dogs isn’t the best idea, after the first dayshe tried it.

Karenn, the Advertiser

When Nevra’s little sistertried to squeeze a job out of him ‘as a family favor’, he relented only after stipulatingthat she will not apply for the baristaposition. Karenn is capable of many things, and the last thing he wants isto catch her sneaking shots of the liquor they save for Karuto’s Irish coffees.Or spiking customer coffees to encourage extra tips.

So after Miiko and Leiftanlearnt about her impressive social network pages, she was hired as the café’sgeneral PR manager, online and on the ground. Leave it to a teen girl toknow the internet watering holes. Most days, people can find Karenn at acorner table of the café with a rich mocha, laced with peppermint syrup forthat extra kick… busy spam-posting café updates and photos on four differentsocial networking sites on four different devices. And somehow stilleavesdropping on everyone in the room. Other days, she runs around the cityputting up café fliers, distributing coffee samples, and handing out discountcoupons to the strangest people in the strangest places. Because let’s behonest: their café can’t compete with major coffee-and-tea chains, so they shouldappeal to niche groups, right?

Every time she successfully puts up a flier on a window of a high-rise apartment,crashes a college party with café gifts, gives away coffee to a wild-eyedhomeless man, or distributes coupons to a biker gang, Karenn takes a selfieduring her latest achievement and sends it to her friends and Nevra. Heface-palms every single time, right in front of the customers.

Chrome, the Delivery Boy

A street scamp that Karenn foundoutside a bank one afternoon, chaining his bike to a lamp-post and holding asign that said he’ll “shine shoes, clip dog nails, fetch newspapers, andanything else for spare change”. She and Nevra soon convinced him to work for alittle more by delivering customer orders for the café to neighboring offices,shops, and clinics. A spry kid with his own bike, who knew the city streetslike the back of his hand, could be an asset.

There was one thing thatdidn’t factor into their plan: the boy has no concept of time. Half the time,they’ll receive phone-calls from customers on how their coffees were lateenough to become lukewarm. The other half of the time, Chrome will be lateenough in returning that the next delivery order is getting lukewarm on thecafé counter. (And the boy will take still more time in re-entering thebuilding, because Nevra is already leaning on the counter, frowning likethunder and drumming his fingers on the tabletop.) The end result: Chrome’sphone number is placed on speed-dial for Nevra and Miiko, just so they can callhim up immediately and ask “Where thehell is he?!”

Still, there is another option that might save Chrome’s career in foodservice: Ykhar has noticed he’s a dab hand with the coffee machines, whippingup an excellent mocha Frappuccino, festooned with dark chocolate chips, forhimself (or Karenn…) every time it’s a slow day at the café. In a pinch, he canbe the next baristo, even though he’s a bit mouthy, and can’t stomach any caffeinewithout bouncing off the walls. Just to be on the safe side, they’re delaying arecommendation until after Ezarel leaves a vacancy. The older baristo likes toleave dog treats on a plate with Chrome’s name on it.

Ewelein, the On-Call Doctor

She’s a regular customer whoworks as a physician in the public hospital a few blocks away, and took aliking to the little café because it a.) is less crowded than the hospitalcafé, b.) serves decent sugar-free, non-fat cinnamon cappuccinos for a good price,and d.) has a comfortable chair by the ferns that just agrees with her. Granted,there’s that obnoxious head waiter who likes to hit on her on principle, and awaitress who drops or misplaces every other tray handed to her, but Ewelein haslearned to tactically ward them off with a raised book and a dry expressionwhenever they approach her table.

But to her consternation, thequiet breaks she’s supposed to spend in the café– catching up on a book andworking on her botanical scrapbook collection—became consultation visits afterthe day she gave a Heimlich to another customer choking on a bagel. So fromthen on, she became their resident Florence Nightingale, beset by otherregulars with questions about blood pressure, diabetes, whether coffee is reallya calcium-drain for menopausal women, what side-effects are there for childrenwho consume high amounts of caffeine daily, etc. In the end, just so she could start on her coffee while it’s hot, Ewelein was forcedto draw up a free poster—certified by her hospital—for the café, detailing the top 10 caffeinemyths, and the top 10 little-known truths caffeine-addicts better know.

Despite the hassle, Ewelein still visits the café regularly for herlunch breaks. With that customer-saving Heimlich and then the free publichealth information poster, the café’s willing to offer her free cappuccinos,free meals, and major discounts for other coffees she picks up for hercolleagues, just to keep her nearby in case things really go wrong. Well, a free lunch is a free lunch.

Ashkore, the Vandal

A mysterious rogue from theinner city who wears a black dragon-print ski mask and loves to make lifemiserable for the denizens of Miiko’s café. His first declaration of war: helobbed a signed brick into the front window, shattering the glass and openingthe café to the other nighttime lunatics on the street.

Since then, someof his favorite tricks include graffiti on the café’s front, givingunflattering anonymous tip-offs to health inspectors, posting inflammatory fliers onthe windshields of customer and employee cars, slashing the tires of employeecars as well, stalking new hires until they quit within weeks, and pickinglocks to steal supplies straight from the back room, if he doesn’t take a crackat the register or the safe in Miiko’s office. Every time he breaks in, the manwho signs himself off as Ashkore likes to brew a cup of Turkish black coffeefor himself using their equipment and ingredients, drink it down, and leave thedrained cup on the counter as his calling card. With no payment, of course.

Speculation on who the bastard is has ranged from amercenary lout paid by a dogged rival café, to one of the café’s manydisgruntled ex-employees, to someone with a personal grudge against eitherMiiko, Leiftan, or one of the other regular staff-members of the café. Eitherway, Ashkore is canny enough to have evaded all police sicced on his trail, andValkyon with his baseball bat.

Miiko has since enacted a ‘We shall not be intimidated by terrorists!’policy: the café will remain standing, and all employees must virtuously ignorethe ‘little jackass’ tormenting them, while she, Leiftan, and Valkyon installsecurity cameras and bully the police into making routine sweeps along theirstreet. So far, none of it seems to discourage Ashkore. Now, he just cheerfullyflips off the cameras when breaking in.

This went waaaay further than I expected (asusual…). But AUs are just so much fun. :) And cafes are home to a lot of stories.

I also couldn’t resist adding each character’s preferred drink in eachentry. They need their caffeine (or ginseng shots) too.

Enjoy this quirky piece atthe next coffee shop you visit. :) And don’t forget to leave feedback (forhere, and/or that place you sip your lattes at).

#request #headcanon #Eldarya #Alajea #Ashkore #Chrome #Ewelein #Ezarel #Jamon #Karenn #Karuto #Kero #Leiftan #Miiko #Nevra #Valkyon #Ykhar

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