#close and like. aw idk.

[utilitycaster]

"if one of the WOMEN made this decision she'd be LAMBASTED" we had like three months of discourse because Liam said that Orym gave a slight nod in Laudna's direction. He once had to edit a playlist because people were so nasty about him including a song about unrequited love for a woman that happened to be performed by another woman it was easier to just take it off. I have a growing gallery of screenshots of people openly calling not even the characters but the actual men of the cast assholes for some of the most banal choices, many of which are maintagged. We are currently on day 4 of debate over whether Ashton is a horrible manipulator. Again, I'd love to have a serious discussion of how real world misogyny especially in the earlier years of the show might impact who feels able to make bold and risky moves, but it's not really possible to have that when someone's bemoaning the hypothetical crucifixion of one of the women in the cast as they're actively hammering nails through one of the men.

#the youtube comments from 2015-2017 are awful but black heart purple hearts are the most toxic fans currently and it's not close #at least in tumblr and twitter spaces (reddit might still be full of misogynistic dudebros idk) #cr tag #again it's like. if you want an all female cast for an actual play that's completely valid. #why are you watching the 5 men and 3 women cast of critical role though if so.

[evakant]

SUNMI — STRANGER

#i have to do everything my goddamn self !!! #sunmi #sunmiedit #fdstuff #also i made these in like ten minutes please don't look at them too closely lmao #dedicating these to kam <3 #femalegifsource #femaledaily #usercreate #userthing #stranger mv #musicedit #mvedit #idk what tags are usually used for music videos so i'm just going to keep it simple and basic #because this is for ME people reblogging it is just a bonus #i'll be honest this song isn't for me but the video was fun #the god awful fake knitting is everything to me #kam is telling me to add these: #femadolsedit #femaleidolsedit #flickering /

[dawnbreakersgaze]

☆ "𝓖𝓾𝓲𝓭𝓮 𝓶𝓮, 𝓞 𝓡𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓪𝓷𝓬𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓹𝓮𝓵 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓶𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓼,

𝓖𝓾𝓲𝓭𝓮 𝓶𝓮, 𝓞 𝓛𝓪𝓶𝓮𝓶𝓽𝓼, 𝓽𝓸 𝓼𝓮𝓮𝓴 𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓽 𝓮𝓬𝓱𝓸𝓼" ☆

#i just love how he delivers this specific line in this poem so much- like i almost cry every time #he sounds so close to tears himself it guts me #and i love how soft he looks during this moment when theyre counting stars together and shes calling him and monster lol #and he sounds concerned but he still looks at her with so much love and adoration even though she kind of called him awful on accident #idk i just have a lot of Xavier feelings today despite all the Raf and Zayne things going on in my brain #and I wanted to vomit them somewhere so here we are #love and deepspace #lnds #lads #l&ds #love & deepspace #Xavier #xavier love and deepspace #xavvy baby #kay's edits

[theloveinc]

Shinsou "I dont know why she's into me either" Hitoshi

ALWAYS on his "am shy and humble or actually just cocky" shit because sometimes this means he's holding your palms in his hands and getting all watery-eyed because he thinks you're WAY too good for him ... and other times it means cheers-ing someone when they get snotty about how you're out of his league.

They're trying to piss him off, meanwhile he's just raising his glass an tipping a shot back, kinda smirking, all: "cheers, I'll drink to that!" (then going home to make sure you aren't about to leave him--as if he doesn't have ROCK HARD ABS he wants you grinding against every night. why would you ever give that up????? adjflakdhj)

Not to mention all the times Denki asks him how he managed to score you and Shinso genuinely goes blank and has to take 20 minutes to ponder it too:

#shinso #staring out the window dead*ss only to come back like... idk man. #no im just kidding bc this is so real #same as always almost but he's so awed that he has you that he can't let anything disturb that peace #it's funny bc dudes are like 'ummmmmmm shinso is so mean and offputting..' and ur like 'THAT CUDDLE BUG? NO HE'S NOT????' #tbh everyone is confused lmao until they see him with u and u seem him with them #like u knew he was antisocial but u just forgot he was like. actually deadpan ignoring people he's not close with #but then he's kissing the back of your hand and your cheeks when it's just you too and no one's looking #like sir??? huh???? #plus he's hot as all f*ck so whys he ..kinda... begging you not to leave him???? sir. be for real. #BUT THATS ANOTHER THING HE LOVES. U 24/7 but when ur possessive or out on a date he's so MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE #before getting all flustered at himself #lmaoooo dflajklehfjalksdjfoija .dfjhakljsdhfkjadfklsja #hdsjkf i want him #hope this was okay! #caitie things #gen #anon

[napping-sapphic]

God i’m thinking about how easily and unknowingly strangers can grant you salvation like i found it in how my old classmate told me once that i was a kind person and it was the first time i’d ever believed it

in how a coworker once said that i always seem so happy and have a nice smile and i cried about it when i got home since i’d always been told i seem too serious or mean

in how someone once told me i was good at comforting them when i’d always thought i was bad at it

Just god they’re out there somewhere and i barely remember what they looked like and we’ll never cross paths again but they changed me so deeply, they’re out there but they’ll never know how often i revisit those memories and think of myself even just a little more kindly they’re out there and i don’t know them but they’re the most important people in the world to me somehow

#me?? having a Night™️?? more likely than you’d think #im missing the people i never really knew #and im stuck echoing their words to myself #it’s honestly so important to hear things from people who don’t have an agenda to hurt you #who didn’t form a perspective of you at 14 and never let it go #i dont know #it’s just insane how badly ive always felt about myself #how inherently true i thought it was that i was mean or cold or unlikeable #only to have so many people tell me differently the past few years #and i still feel so mean and cold and unlikeable so often because of the people close to me!! #and i probably will forever to some extent!! #and it’s such an awful feeling #but just knowing even one person saw me as kind or happy is such a balm to that pain #that even if every person i meet from here on out found me flawed #there was at least one that saw kindness and joy in me?? that’s healing #idk #idk im emotional and tired and just want to believe i can be a good person sometimes #and sometimes i feel like that one ‘you’re so nice’ i received three years ago is the only thing holding me together sometimes #god just ignore me

[des-fangirl]

lost kids, sleeping <3 do not interrupt

i wanted to draw little holly sleeping in the woods but i was like 'heey they look like they're sleeping ON something...' AND UM. I GOT. CARRIED AWAY??

for now my idea is that holly got lost in the gardens and met a Shadow that were lost too. HONESTLY IDK WHAT THEY WERE DOING NEXT UUUUHH. TRAVELLING?? AHBEBE it's hard to make a story with Holly since they were,, busy because of the 'saving the kingdom' thing.. I don't think they'll even be able to get lost, especially in Queen's Gardens😭😭

but umm i like the colors i like the vibe and maybe I'll just draw more sketches with them just walking around getting into situations and becoming besties. WHY NOT

#i actually lost the first art yesterday #like. completely :( #i finished it SAVED IT (i was sure i did) and closed Photoshop because there was some kind of error #and then i realised I didn't actually save it. at all. #LIKE I WAS DRAWING FOR AN HOUR OR MORE AND FORGOT TO SAVE #IDK HOW IT IS POSSIBLE REALLY I WAS SURE I DID CTRL+S :(( #that's why yesterday's evening was awful BUT IN THE END I MANAGED TO REMAKE THE ART #it's even better now!! <3 #i hope you like it #wanted to do the details on leafs because of the seals in hk #the lines on the seals!! i wanted to get leafs around kids to look like some kind of a seal #they are sleeping together because they are safe #surrounded from all sides but in a good comforting way #they are almost hugged #hollow knight #desfan-art #hk fanart #hk pure vessel #hk hollow

[dootznbootz]

I think some folks MAY have gotten the wrong idea about how I feel about Circe with some of my posts. So, to clear the air...

Homies, I love that fucked up sorceress.

I love how we're never given a reason why she turns people into animals. That's so funny and so awful. And another potion-making magic gal?!?! I love that she's just basically vibing on an island doing whatever she wants. I even love the fact that she scares Odysseus shitless! She's morally gray and that's why she's FUN.

I just sincerely hate when people try to girlboss her or have her be a victim of SA when she never was Looking at you, Miller. Especially when she was actually the one who coerced Odysseus in exchange for his men being transformed back into humans. And even then, while he was clearly afraid of her, (it's in the language of the Odyssey) she likely meant him no harm after a certain point. He just didn't know that.

Why does she need a reason to do awful things? Why can't she just be a goddess who does whatever she wants? That's the reason why I love her!!! She's fucked up!!! :D

I hate what the Telegony did to her as well! >:( You're telling me, this sorceress goddess, who makes potions (!!!) wouldn't have magic contraceptives??? Would WANT CHILDREN?!?! WITH THE PATHETIC WIFEMAN?! No. Fuck no. Eugammon of Cyrene, I have beef with you 🤬

Anyways!!! Understand all the "#anti circe" I have is simply Anti "Girlboss Circe" or the book. I genuinely think she's neat af as her morally gray, fucked up sorceress self and just get frustrated with...everything :'D

#I have these same feelings with Medea and Medusa and so many others. Penelope too. Let them do something fucked up just to be fucked up #I'm a “god forbid women do anything” in the sense of 'she did a fucked up thing. That's why she's fascinating. Don't take her awfulness #away from her!!! please! I wanna study her under a microscope!'😭 #PLEASE #...I actually kind of don't like the idea of her actually caring about her nymphs :P maybe she “protects them” but like... #I see her as a “Why are all of you dancing? Oh. it's a birthday? hm okay. Just make sure your duties are done.” while not caring #whose birthday it is. She's not really shown to be close to them during the Odyssey and idk just seems in character for her to not give af #save me morally gray circe #<-making that a tag now because...yeah. She absolutely wouldn't save me though. #Mad rambles #shot by odysseus #anti madeline miller #anti circe #<-THE BOOK! I HATE THE BOOK! LET HER BE AWFUL YOU COWARDS #Why do women need to be SA'ed to be strong Miller?! >:( #...Ima say it. The pathetic wifeman is more relatable to me than Hot Snake Monster Lady when it comes to this stuff.😤 #I just sincerely hate the fact that people erase what happened to him you know? It's silly but it means a lot to me. #Also I think she got bored of him immediately and simply let him chill at her place. #She's a goddess. She's got better things to do and she absolutely doesn't love him and he absolutely doesn't want her. #I don't have with Eugammon btw. He's dead and I'm exaggerating but I STILL hate the Telegony >:( #tw sa #kind of??? idk #barely mentioned but yeah #Calypso though?? Yeah. I hate her in practically everything except Pirates of the Caribbean because that's not Odyssey Calypso

[gideonisms]

See I think if I'd been born a guy I wouldn't be this pathologically avoidant trying to plan my career because there are plenty of situations you can find as a cis man where you just Do Tasks in awkward silence and you can get to those as a woman but you have to go through the rings of hell socializing first and then besides, a lot of those jobs already have so many men that you stand out when the whole point was you Don't want to do that

#you gotta be god's strongest soldier to survive this shit and i am not! i am god's weakest most pathetic soldier! #i survived five years of customer service crying weekly and getting harassed and being a baby about it #when i got promoted no one would listen to me and it made me constantly anxious and then so tired it took me a year to be able to #think about having a job as something remotely positive and stop crying about it #idk how other women are doing this shit a guy treats me like his sexy servant and i feel BAD and upset for years #and think of what he said 7 years later and they only touched me on the shoulder and made comments other people go through worse! #but i am not strong or determined i just want to go through my life in peace and stop talking to people altogether #it wasn't just guys who treated me badly older women made fun of me and called me lazy and stupid #tutoring was fine but i felt like i was putting on that same performance and at that point it all felt so awful i just. didn't want to #i can see no way out of talking to people for the rest of my life and it gets me down sometimes #i know i get to come home but even then i will probably need people to live with #i basically only like my family and close friends talking to me sometimes even that is hard #sometimes it's way easier to type and feels less awful #i think i have to just keep on keeping on until i can finally get good enough to freelance edit and code that's the only thing i can think #of doing that doesn't make me cry #emails are fine they suck but i don't have to control my face and tone so.

[silenthillbunni]

🐰🌧️

#so on my way home.. #i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future #i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were #bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected #a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati #that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful #and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old #live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :) #you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :) #you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!! #you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u! #whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️ #god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE #i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things #now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao #there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives #by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it. #or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me #only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die #bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything #for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!! #not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right #i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax #but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer 💀 why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭 #my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became #bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life

[perenlop]

i'm gonna try not to bring up madoka too much while watching utena because i know there's like... a rep there. but like im 6 episodes into utena and i understand i don't have the full picture yet but how on earth do people think these shows are similar enough to warrant "madoka is misogynistic garbage, go watch utena, it's basically the same but better"

#like ive rambled abt ppl calling madoka problematic before i wont rehash that rn #but like........ what exactly do these shows have in common besides purple/pink uncanny valley toxic yuri #its not even the same flavor of toxic yuri #from what im seeing utena is a story about agency and power imbalances #like. i guess they both have broken systems? but those systems also seem to work differently #the end of the world seems more cultish while kyubeys magical girls can be more closely compared to military recruiting #like... idk im getting the vibe that these ppl claiming that madoka is god awful and utena is The Good Show havent really processed either #and just dumbed both of them down to general tropes like. oh pink/purple yuri! oh horror tropes! #theyre not even from the same genre. rgu is a shoujo anime while pmmm is a magical girl anime #like. i know theres some rgu influence in pmmm but from what i know that seems to be the extent of it. influence #like. are you telling me every single deconstructive show containing yuri is similar to one another... #who's participating in fandom misogyny again? #echoed voice

[irxne]

on the second weekend of january an aunt passes away on the third week of january an uncle passes away you'd never guess what happened on the last weekend of the month... a cousin passes away

#all on my mothers side such a cool month #hope this doesn't prolong til february #i hate going to mass but funeral masses are just awful specially if you're a nonbeliever receiving dirty looks from the old christian ladie #my uncle's funeral was particular in the sense where the were no gravediggers in the village and the people who dug the grave did it wrong #and as you can imagine the coffin didn't fit so they had to dig the grave three times for the coffin to fit in front of the family mind you #which was surreal might i add #when they came to take measurements of the coffin again during the wake i legit thought what if the coffin doesn't fit after all this #little did i know #for the sake of mental health i'm not going to the cousin's funeral and also we weren't close since he was an older man and i rarely saw #his part of the family but my mom will probably go since she liked him and he's closer in lineage wise (idk if that how you say it...) #i feel like lineage is the wrong word but he's like a 4th to 5th degree cousin to me #anywayssss

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

reading a medical document about indications for hospitalisation for anorexia and realising i hit multiple of the suggested criteria aaaaaaa

#certainly the blood pressure and heart rate stuff last week falls into that category but bc it dropped just enough my doctor was okay w it #but ig if its like that this week Well #Hm #anyway. #tw ed #my parents i think are somewhat scared because this is the worst theyve seen me #like im refusing SO much bc i cant handle it and i feel so awful #personal #prayer request #ig??? if you would #prayers that the medical team choose the best things for to happen for me ig #like i would describe it as uncontrollable at this point it no longer feels like a choice #like sooner and sooner lately i run into a wall that is just a big NOPE #not even 'i will eat this and feel horribly guilty' but 'i Cannot Eat This' #ive been getting more actively distressed about eating as well #i dont even understand why im hitting the medical indications either like ive been havingpretty close to recomended intake i think #idk whats happening and i am losing control #( <- chronic not acute sense) #(do not worry for me in the immediate short-term)

[desertduality]

Been thinking about ways to expand on Watcher magic in Ad Astra, bc right now all I've really set up is the See Everything ability - but I've been thinking that like, in the context of Scar getting turned into a Watcher, he could be extra good at the illusion magic side of things.

Like maybe Watchers have the ability to manipulate what people see, so it's still a vision-related power but it's different enough to be interesting, and it fits with Scar's character. He would still have the other abilities ofc but illusions are his strong suit. He could easily make his wings disappear of make them a different color once he gets the hang of it. Maybe Grian struggles with the illusion aspect, but he's really good with the all-seeing bit, and can find what he's looking for pretty fast bc it comes naturally to him.

Idk just thinking of ways to expand on the Watcher magic and use it for characterization :]

#there could also be a sort of 'don't look at me' power #that's not quite invisibility but something close #idk i just feel like the allseeing thing by itself can get boring #anyway this might be awful but i've just been thinking about it while writing jsdkjkj #feel free to let me know what you think :] #raven rambles #ad astra

[lambjock]

genuinely hope natalie keeps jackie's necklace in s3 -- that she fiddles with it and stares at it, a little crooked heart on a golden string, and thinks about jackie taylor and how never in a million years would she have given this gift to nat, and yet it now belongs to her anyways. the good luck charm. the blessing of protection. an undying promise of a love natalie has struggled to know her whole life ( i would never hurt you on purpose / you're my best friend and i'd do anything for you ) and most importantly it's something that replaced the cold steel of a knife against her neck in the form of their soccer captain's delicate heart. it's hers, hers, hers, and when her head is weighed with antlers the only warmth she feels is from a metallic shape that's long since indented itself against her sunken, bony skin. a love she'll pass down to prey she'll always feel sorry for but a love that'll return to her all the same. and maybe in a kinder life it was something nat rightfully earned rather than the premature consolation it really was. and maybe in that other world the necklace comes from a well maintained, plushy hand : dangled into nat's ring-clustered fingers with a smile. and instead of pitiful sorry i love you's, it's a sickly fond look, one that's just for her.

#my posts. #shows › yellowjackets #jackienat. #can you tell im in my feelings ??? that i'm going nuts in my enclosure ??? #in a less poetic way : let nat selfishly keep the necklace and let this be another thing her and shauna beef over lol #i just UGHHHH ... nat having the necklace hurts me so deeply because it's a best friend thing and she. she HAD one of those in kevyn #but that love was different. and it was special. but i think some part of her always wanted what shauna and jackie had #who wouldn't? especially someone as lonely and shut off as natalie #so her getting this item that's symbolically about that close knit bond. that deep relationship. it'd stir up a lot of emotions methinks #this isnt to diminish shauna gifting her the necklace btw !! that IS so important because it is her saying she loves natalie #but it's in a way nat is so used to. which is 'i'm sorry. and i love you.' #a love only given to her because they're about to hurt her. a love that's only admitted as a quick comfort before something awful happens #idk i feel crazy i'm just like oh NATALIE ... truly a character of all time #okay done yjs posting for another month time to do something else :salute:

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

i cannot help myself im sorry

#i will call the DOCTOR pinocchio i will call the MASTER pinocchio i dont CARE everyones getting pinocchiod #aw you thought you could be a real boy? no youre still stuck in the narrative buddy #as long as Someones fingers are on a keyboard Somewhere youre not getting out of this one #we're yanking your fucking strings forever and ever #see the thing that gets me about the whole...........narrative thing #is that like watching is the control #'im nothing without an audience' #'if nobodys watchig doctor who kills himself' #like. we make him exist by watching him #idk if other writers feel the same but i feel like that when im writing like im watching whoever im writing #sometimes i close doors and lock myself out #on purpose #bc like. im not watching that #you know? #the thing that CREATES is the thing that CONTROLS #in the same action #which is why i cant stop calling them pinocchios #we watch. and we control by watching. the characters are beholden to narrative rules #because we are watching #the characters dont EXIST. unless we are watching

[abyssalbest]

Why does John always look so busted in close ups? Like, from far away he looks fine.

P normal, Handsome guy, even! Then you see a close up-

And boom! Demonic.

#the deep speaks #john constantine #seriously like #his beard looks gross #his expression is awful #his hair is weird #what’s with the shadows on his eyes? #idk why he looks like that. #I get he’s an older guy but he doesn’t have to look like a fucking goblin whenever they do close ups of him #dc comics #dcu #dc universe #hellblazer