#and sometimes i feel like that one ‘you’re so nice’ i received three years ago is the only thing holding me together sometimes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

saerins · 1 year

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─── 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑

+ itoshi rin x f!reader | wc 6k | content: mostly fluff, some angst, rin is so awkward, childhood friends to lovers

notes: my first time writing something for rin so i’m nervous but i hope you guys like it <3 pls i hope i didn’t butcher him >_< rbs & feedback appreciated muwah !

summary: rin thinks about you all the time, for better or for worse. problem is, he really shouldn’t be anymore. things never seem to work out for the both of you, will trying even make a difference this time?

rin knows you don’t like flowers. no wait, you like them, you just don’t like receiving them. you cried once, when the flower he plucked for you died within a few days in your makeshift vase.

rin also knows that while other girls dream of their dream wedding, you dream of a nice cosy house, a modern one with touches of japanese accents. he likes to hear you talk about it. he likes to hear you talk about anything at all, actually.

he’s known you ever since you were both little, since you were both five and just two kids in the playground playing hide and seek.

rin would always win, because you’re as clumsy as it gets and you’re not that observant. you could never find him, even if he’s right there. he likes it though; seeing you look for him, that little panicky look in your eyes when you think he’d ever actually abandon you and run off.

he played with you whenever he could—you were both neighbours after all. it was fun, being with you was fun.

you reminded him of new beginnings, like how it feels like jumping into a pool after a long hard day of training, or how the sun feels like hitting your skin on a cold winter day.

it was second nature for him—to seek you out whenever he had a hard time, to look for you when he needed a distraction, to search for you in the crowd to seek some familiarity.

but it’s easy for flimsy things to break. the both of you were just kids, and kids did childish things, like think only for the moment and not further into the future, did silly things like saying you’d marry one another with fake paper rings and forget it the very next day (rin remembers). kids also handle things in a bad way, in the way that leaves no room for the friend they pushed away.

if rin regrets anything from his past, it’s that he took sae’s departure out on you.

rin doesn’t know how to process things well. can’t decide why exactly he’s so pressed about sae’s choice of words. doesn’t know what to make of why he even plays soccer. is it just because of his brother?

he doesn’t fucking know.

rin’s sorry.

it isn’t your fault his brother found a different path. you had nothing to do with it. you and those brownies you cooked for him. he’s sorry that he let them fall to the ground and just stormed off.

that was what, three or four years ago? you’d moved out by then, and the both of you had never spoken since.

if he’s being honest, he misses your presence. maybe it’s the fact that you were his manifestation of a safety net, someone that he could fall back on, someone he could lean on.

maybe he’s just being an asshole.

now he’s seventeen and probably even more of an asshole. if anything, sae’s departure left a bitter taste in his mouth that he wasn’t able to cleanse.

but he’s lucky you’re you. you’re you and that means you don’t hold grudges and you’re still the kindest person he’s ever known.

“rin?”

he stops his hand in mid motion, the key between his fingers dropping onto the wooden floorboards below. rin can’t seem to function anymore—he knows that voice. all too well.

it’s the voice that made him excited as a kid, it’s the same voice that comforted him whenever he fell short of perfect, the same voice that haunts his dreams sometimes at night, even now.

rin turns around and sees you there, at his front porch, smiling all awkwardly and chuckling nervously, your hands in your pocket because you never know what to do with them when you’re uncomfortable.

“hi,” is all he manages to choke out because he’s still a little stunned and his key is long lost and forgotten on the ground.

“hey stranger,” you grin, and his heart beats faster and faster as you get closer and closer.

the both of you are no longer kids, and it’s so painfully obvious now in front of him. he can’t stop fucking staring even if his inner voice is screaming at him to.

“i thought you moved away,” rin manages to say, and because he’s really curious as to why you’re even here, in this place you’re not supposed to be, talking to someone you haven’t spoken to in years.

“i’m, uh, here just to visit my family,” you stutter out, and rin wants to call you out on it so bad, but he can’t do that without exposing himself.

how could he possibly tell you that he knows none of your family is left here in the neighbourhood because he’s asked everyone who used to be in contact with your family? how can he possibly say that without exposing himself for going through your social profiles just to find out that you’ve moved out to another city with your entire family?

so, what are you here for then?

“hey, you wanna, uh, go eat dinner together? or something? later?” you’re so awkward rin could die. rin’s so awkward he could just kill himself.

the silence is deafening and it’s not that he doesn’t want to have dinner with you, it’s just that he has soccer training in the evening and he’s still in shock from the fact that you’re here in the flesh and—

“it’s okay, forget i asked, i was just—”

“no, i mean,” rin trips over his own words and the two of you are just two stupid idiots standing on the itoshi family’s porch doing stupid idiot things. he takes a deep breath, “where should we eat?”

that smile you shoot him is deadly and he wants to keep it forever. if that’s even possible. but he’s really awkward with his feelings and he doesn’t even know what he feels for you. all he knows is that he wants you to stay here again, be within reach for him.

“pick me up at six on your bike?” you nod over to his bicycle, and he blushes so hard because despite getting countless valentines from other girls, none of them have the same effect on him as you do.

rin thinks he should shake his head and say no and pretend like you don’t exist again. he shouldn’t go on this pseudo date with you.

yet he does. he picks you up where you said you’d be, at a hotel near the heart of the city. he’s on his bicycle, just like you asked of him, and you definitely dressed for the ride, comfortable in shorts and a tank top. you’ve gotten from cute to so so pretty and rin finds it so damn difficult to tear his eyes away from you.

when you get on the back of his bicycle, you put your hands around his waist and he can actually feel how fast your heart is beating. rin’s is too, but he’s grateful you probably can’t tell.

also at your request, he takes you to a spot he chose—which is nothing extravagant because you’re both still broke students who haven’t earned your own money, but he thinks you’ll like it anyway.

after getting some cup noodles from a nearby convenience store, he pedals over to the playground the both of you used to spend ages at when you were kids. the place where you used to play hide and seek with each other.

it’s a place of significance. at least, to him. he wonders if you even remember this place.

“nice choice, itoshi rin,” you say, and rin has his answer. “i missed this place.”

and rin missed you, but he isn’t going to say that.

“i’m surprised you remember,” he tells you, choosing to sit down on the swings. you follow and sit on the only other one beside him, your cup noodle hot and ready in your hands. “how’s kyushu?”

you slurp up some of your noodles, and rin thinks you look beautiful just like this anyway. “it’s okay, made some friends so that makes it more tolerable.” you’re shrugging like it’s no big deal, but he can tell by the faraway look in your eyes that there’s more to it.

“tokyo’s better, huh?” he isn’t much for small talk, but he can’t help himself—it’s been far too long without you, and he wants to feel close to you again. it’s as though after everything that happened—sae moving abroad, you moving away, rin feeling lost—it’s like he doesn’t really know how to be your friend anymore.

nodding your head, you turn to him. “much better.”

and rin can’t help but think that there’s a deeper meaning to your answer. but he doesn’t press.

maybe he should’ve, because when you switch the topic, he finds he doesn’t like what he’s hearing.

“anyway, i’m only here for a day,” you tell him, going back to your noodles. “i fly back tomorrow.”

some part of him wants to ask you why you’re even here. he wants to know about the you now, about how much has changed in these few years, what you like now—do you still like hot chocolate in the winter, do you still get colds easily, do you still think about him after all this time?

“are you… going to come back for college?” because if you still wanted to go to university in tokyo, you’d have to move back here. rin thinks he’d like that.

you’re a little taken aback because from what you’d heard from your old friends, rin had become someone they barely recognised; cold, blunt, more like his brother than himself. but in front of you now, you feel like the rin you know is still in there.

but this is where it gets hard.

“actually…” you trail off because you don’t really know where to start. “i got into a university in america. my mother got a job there and she wants me to go with her.”

you don’t even want to look at him right now. you don’t really know what you want to see. some silly part of you wants to see that he minds, that he’ll make a big deal out of you going away somewhere even further than the other side of japan. but if he doesn’t, if he looks like it doesn’t affect him at all, then you don’t think you can handle that.

“oh.” ever the best at giving a non-response, you’re not surprised.

it’s silent for a while, and the two of you are just eating your noodles, and it’s so suffocating that you want to bolt and run but that means you probably won’t ever get to see rin again and you don’t want that.

your body is screaming at you to do something, to say anything, to savour whatever time you have left with rin now properly—but you can’t.

beside you, the gears are turning in his head. rin’s noodles are already gone and he isn’t even aware his chopsticks are grappling around for nothing but soup.

america? that’ll mean you’re at least twelve hours away and he can’t even imagine what that’ll mean for your friendship. or whatever the fuck this muddy waters is.

rin wants to say something, anything—but what? don’t go? when are you coming back? are we ever going to be at the same place at the same time again after tonight?

he’s conflicted between his possible feelings and his selfishness. so he resigns to not saying anything at all. all that’s left for the night is hearing the wind blowing past your faces and the creaking of the swings, very much like how he envisioned a bad goodbye to go.

that night he gives you a ride back to your hotel despite your insistence that it’s late. because who do you take him for? did it mean nothing to you that this might be the last time?

“so, uh, i’ll see you around, i guess,” you say as you step off of his bicycle, after a trip that seems way too fast. rin already misses the sensation of your arms around his waist.

he thinks it’s a stupid sentence. realistically, in every single way he can think it’ll play out, it ends with the both of you drifting apart anyway, and he finds himself wishing you never came back.

which is untrue. which is the furthest it could possibly be from the truth. but rin doesn’t want to think about that right now.

“okay then, goodbye,” rin decides, because he’s not about to get his own hopes up for nothing. if you’re about to vanish, then maybe it’s high time he gets it done.

rin steps on the pedal, but then you stop him, voice clear as the first day he met you. “rin, wait!”

you’re not sure why it slipped out, but it did.

“what is it?”

his eyes are cool, calm, a dead teal that stares right through you. you’re almost intimidated because you’re not sure just what he’s thinking of you right now. he must think you’re a freak, showing up like this and dropping a bomb that he may or may not care about.

“um, nothing, it’s just- is there anything else?”

some part of you wants him to ask you to stay in tokyo. maybe the both of you could find a university together and stay in close proximity, just like when you were kids, just like how you liked it.

just like everything you missed.

and now the two of you are staring at each other, knowing yet not knowing everything that’s going through one another’s mind. but it gets lost in translation because neither of you can find the words to say.

rin blinks at you, and you can’t even read him if you tried. “no, nothing. is there something you wanna say?”

you shake your head, smiling through it. “no, nothing. goodbye.”

you’re back through the hotel double doors before you know it, and rin’s left to watch your silhouette fade away.

for the first time in his life, he feels like he’s lost something precious that he’ll never find again.

life goes on.

rin graduates from high school and so do you. the texting stopped, and that much he expected. better to cut the cord sooner rather than later, even if rin wished for otherwise.

he rides on a full scholarship to university, and from the online grapevines, he hears that you’re doing the same. you’re smart, so he’s not surprised.

this is the right thing to do; both of you have your own lives to concentrate on. some stupid crush doesn’t matter. and yes, rin has already conceded to the feeling because he can’t explain this any other way.

his frustration that comes from your separation, his anger when it comes to being helpless, his endless regret from not saying anything that night—it’s only because he wants you.

“i hear y/n’s doing good at her new school,” rin hears his mom cooing from the kitchen. he sighs. of course she did, yours and his moms are both close. yet another channel through which he can get updates on you, warranted or not.

“yeah?” he pretends not to care much, but he’s hanging on her every word.

“yeah, it’s valentines’ day around the corner too, i hear she has lots of guys lining up.”

kill him. kill him right fucking now.

“good for her.” good for you he’s not there to stare daggers at all the guys ogling at you. good for you he’s not there to commit bloody murder.

“i think so too, ah she’s all grown up,” his mother chatters on, completely oblivious to the torment she’s subjecting her son to. “i hear she’s having her first date next week, i heard he’s a model too, did she talk to you about it?”

you must’ve played it off to your mother that you and rin are fine. rin sighs, tired of the thoughts running through his head. as if soccer wasn’t tiring enough already.

“don’t know, maybe.”

just like his feelings for you, and his willingness to act on it.

two years into university and it isn’t that hard for him anymore.

actual lectures and assignments take up half of his time, and the other half is reserved for soccer. with teammates like isagi yoichi and bachira meguru annoying him even outside of practice, rin doesn’t even have much time to think of you.

until he’s forced to.

“what about you, rin? is there anyone special in your life?”

bachira tuts, “isagi, he’s always buried in books and practicing soccer, it’s obviously a no.”

rin’s annoyed, half because what bachira said is true and half because isagi made him think of you. it’s been a while since he knew what was up with you. you’re probably doing well, probably thriving in that environment, probably all in love with your boyfriend—that stupid yukimiya kenyu that you accepted for valentine’s last year.

he carefully extracts himself from isagi and bachira’s bickering, feigning that he’s looking through the aisle for books except what he’s really doing is scrolling through his phone and hunting for your profile.

what other way is he supposed to get updates? definitely not from you, because you’ve been so fucking radio silent since that night.

all that rin sees that day is a story posted to your account. just a backdrop of the view in your city with the words some things just aren’t meant to be.

you’re right. some things aren’t. including the both of you. so rin tucks his phone away in his pocket and goes about his day, half happy that it sounds like you’re not with yukimiya anymore, half concerned that this is what the both of you became.

somehow he’s here. he’s right fucking here and it’s him this time that’s going to surprise you. unintentionally. or intentionally, if you argued that he agreed to come in the first place.

“isn’t this place so beautiful?” his mother’s words are lost on him. he’s too busy thinking of you.

his mother’s here to visit your mother and by extension he guesses you’ll be there. it’s supposedly the summer break anyway.

and you really are there, on your front porch this time, freezing up when you catch sight of rin walking up your driveway.

nothing can describe his relief when you actually walk up to him and talk to him, because a part of him was expecting you to slap him for some reason.

“still watching horror movies for fun?” you ask him when you’re finally alone together, away from the ruckus of both your moms.

you missed him, he and his teal eyes and his absurdly longer fringe and his awkward demeanour. he’s a long shot from the person you knew as a kid. he’s taller, more muscles, more stoic, handsome. you were too shy to look at him properly that night in tokyo, but you can now.

“i don’t really have time for fun.” rin turns away, a little horrified you remember as much about him as you do. you’d been asking him things you remember from back when you guys were five. “how’re things here?”

you hum in contemplation, like you’re considering your words, and rin looks at you this time, admiring the way you look in the sunlight, the smile stuck onto your face, the voice that he’d never get tired of.

“it’s fine, school’s great, boyfriend’s great, everything’s… great.”

boyfriend?

“that yukimiya guy?”

fuck. fuck fuck fuck. he didn’t mean to say that. fuck. you’re gonna know he stalked you. he doesn’t even fucking follow you, he has no good excuse for knowing that.

you blink once, twice, confused and then getting bashful from the realisation. “um, yeah. things were rocky at first and then it got better so…”

rin is internally strangling himself. he needs to stop having thoughts about a taken girl. he needs to stop wondering what you taste like, what you look like in the mornings when you just wake up, what you’d sound like when you’re sleepy.

“that’s… good.”

the two of you are awkward to bits and he wishes he was someone different right now.

the day ends with nothing substantial. rin couldn’t talk much after he hears you’re still with yukimiya. you couldn’t even stay much because you had plans with him anyway. who’s he to stand in your way? rin’s just an old friend from the past. that’s all. there’s nothing more.

that’s what he thinks. until that same night when he’s all packed and ready to go for the next afternoon’s flight. all because you called him out of the blue. he’s amazed you still have his number.

“hey, rin.”

from the first moment you opened your mouth, he can tell you’re crying. shit, why are you crying?

“are you okay?” because you’re probably the only person in the world who can tug on his heartstrings like this. for being the only person in this world he has feelings for.

you’re forcing a laugh, like you’re not sure what to say. rin doesn’t really know either.

“am i not worth anything?” your question takes him off guard.

doesn’t take a genius to know something probably happened between you and yukimiya. and it doesn’t take much for you to get rin bolting out the door.

“where are you?”

“home,” you sniffle, and you must hear him getting into a cab, “i’m fine, you don’t have to come—”

“i’m coming,” he tells you, firmly, and he can almost tell you’re smiling from the other side of the line.

rin’s heart is racing, adrenaline pumping through his veins. he’s not sure why, but he’s ached to get closer to you since forever, and he passed it up the last time, the previous time you met in tokyo.

his heart’s still racing when you let him into the house, when it’s all dark and unfamiliar and you’re so close to him he can smell the shampoo off your hair.

apparently yukimiya never got over his first love, and you’d caught him locked in a kiss with her right before your dinner.

he’s not good with these situations. at comforting people, at being so close to the girl he likes that he’s trying his very best not to fucking kiss her right now. how does he tell you that you’re good enough, right now, when you keep rambling on and on about how you think you’re not? he really wants to shut you up but he can only think of kissing you and maybe that’s not a can of worms you want to open right now.

besides, if he does that, you might look at him as something temporary, a crutch you need right now but not for the long run and call him crazy but if he’s going to try this much for you, he doesn’t want to be the rebound.

but god fucking damn it, he’ll kill himself if he chickens out now.

you fall asleep after crying your guts out, and rin’s barely said ten words to you all night. he carries you to your room, puts you down on your bed and he resists placing a kiss on your forehead even if you won’t know it.

there’s no time left here for him, he’ll have to go back home tomorrow afternoon and you’ll be worlds apart once again. tonight may have been just a fluke; you probably just needed someone and rin was a safe bet.

he writes something down on a rough paper sitting on your desk and leaves it there before he goes. it’s irritating, how much you’re making him think, how much you’re making him flip flop between various moods.

one moment he decides to leave you alone and the next moment he doesn’t want to leave your side. there’s just something about seeing you so heartbroken that he can’t forgive.

and how kind the world is, to serve the guy who broke your heart to rin in a silver platter. he’d recognise that hair and those glasses anywhere—yukimiya kenyu.

“who’re you?”

rin doesn’t respond, only pushes him away. “if you know what’s good for you, leave.”

“what are you talking about?”

“i know what you did to y/n.”

yukimiya sighs, “look that’s what i wanted to talk to y/n about. i wanted to do this properly, to talk it out with her properly but then my ex was the one who—”

“shut the fuck up, i don’t care.”

yukimiya looks like he wants to retaliate, like he wants to argue back, and it would’ve probably turned into an all-out brawl if your mother didn’t rush out of the house at just the right time.

rin doesn’t bother with anything else after that. he leaves even though your mother tells him he can stay. frankly, he’s not sure he can stand being in the same room as yukimiya without giving him a punch.

the next morning comes and you haven’t left any messages. rin’s already back in japan for a while when you decide you’re finally ready to call him. but he’s heartbroken from thinking he was stupid to leave you that note so he rarely pays attention to his phone.

you end up having to leave it on his voicemail instead.

you said to call you if i wanted to try and… i do.

whatever yukimiya had come to say to you that night, it probably didn’t work, because rin does hear your voicemail. he hears your voice saying that you want to try, with him, and he thinks he may have been dreaming for a while.

but then he plays it over and over and over again.

he’s a few years late, but better late than never, he thinks.

you have two more years before you get your degree, and rin’s not about to get in between that. what he does do is pay you a visit from time to time because he hates this goddamn physical distance between the both of you.

it starts with the both of you talking to each other over the phone, the painfully awkward conversations turning more and more bearable. after a while, you’re the one getting him out of his shell, purposely teasing him all the time, getting reactions out of him.

he stays over at your apartment near school whenever he visits. you share the same bed for the first time and somehow it’s not uncomfortable. he lays beside you like he’s meant to be there. and you fall asleep so fast whenever he’s there, like he’s your damn lullaby.

distance starts to feel like nothing for the both of you, because it never wanes your feelings. even when he’s in japan and you’re halfway across the world, it doesn’t feel like you’re very far.

besides, he likes how it is—you chase your dreams, he chases his. the future can wait. the uncertainties can come later.

they come faster than he bargained for.

you’re nearing graduation while he’s nearing the end of his current contract term with a japanese club, but you’ve scored a job with one of the hottest startups in america. which means you’re going to be there.

for a long while.

“take it,” rin tells you, because you’ve called him to tell him this because you don’t know if you want to. but he can tell, like he always can when it comes to you. you want to take it, and he’s the only factor that’s stopping you. because before now, you’ve been thinking of coming back to tokyo and working at one of the bigger firms here.

looks like that plan’s not going to pan out though, because rin will kill himself before he becomes the reason that you’re not being the best version of yourself.

“but that means…”

there you go, hesitating again.

“we’ll figure it out. we did it once before, we’ll do it again.”

you chuckle in relief because somehow, itoshi rin has become your rock. he went from being some stoic and inexpressive human to being your voice of reason.

“you’re right, you’re right,” you concede. because yes, he’s always right somehow.

so you accept the offer, signing yourself away for another five years.

“what does that mean for the both of you though?”

you sigh. you’re not sure. rin hasn’t said much beyond what he did during that phone call nearly a year back, and he hasn’t come to visit for a few months now so you can’t really tell what’s going on in his head.

long distance sucks.

“i don’t know, mom,” you confess, “i don’t want this to be the end. but i can’t see a future where the both of us are always in different countries.”

your mother doesn’t say anything much after that, it’s not like she has any personal experience on the matter.

you think about it all throughout your finals period, all throughout your graduation transition. you’re not sure that you and rin can just make it through this by just winging it like how you’d always been. and you think maybe rin is just full of it, maybe he’s just as much in denial about this as you are. he hasn’t even been texting you as much nowadays, not after the news.

your phone vibrates on your table as you’re idly staring out the window. it’s a week to graduation.

a text from rin.

meet me after your ceremony next week, we need to talk.

and the anxiety kicks in.

rin shows up at your graduation ceremony like he said he would. he dresses up nicely, white dress shirt and black pants—simple, classy, handsome. you can spot him even from where you are, up near the stage.

yeah, you’d been nervous ever since he sent you that text.

it didn’t help that he didn’t talk to you much up until today, when his flight landed and he’d told you about it even though he knows you have his flight details in your handy little app.

when you run over to him after the ceremony, you find quite a funny sight before your eyes. never in your life did you think you’d ever see rin looking sharp as ever in a white shirt and pants only to be carrying what looks like a bouquet of—not flowers but—nuggets on sticks and chocolate.

rin smiles sheepishly when you get to him. “you don’t want flowers right?”

yeah, you’re in love with him. dorky, stupid rin with his abstract ways of showing love. you love how he remembers details like this since way back when you were kids. you love his awkwardness and his acts of service. you love him and everything he has and all that he doesn’t.

“thanks, i love it,” you gush, taking the bouquet from him, accepting your parents’ offer to help take a picture of the both of you.

they take a ton of pictures.

in one of them, rin kisses your temple and you think you might melt. in another, you kiss his cheeks in return and he’s a deep shade of red. those are before the last picture where he turns you to face him and presses a kiss on your lips, earning a few whistles from the people around you.

you punch him playfully on the chest for that. you hear him chuckle and that might be your favorite sound ever.

rin surprises you too, because the next thing you know, he’s dragging you along with him, running to his car parked by the curb; you’re wondering how he even had the time to rent it.

“where are we going?”

your gown is long discarded into the back seats and rin only offers you a smirk in return. he’s not telling, and you roll your eyes and let it be.

whatever it is, you’re excited.

maybe it’s the fact that you had been thinking the worst up until this point. or maybe it’s the fact that he has his hand on your bare thigh. hell, it could even just be the fact that you’re sitting in a car with the prettiest guy you’ve ever met. but your heart is beating out of your chest and for the first time, you feel like this can be nothing but good news.

rin proves you right, because he takes you somewhere unfamiliar and then tells you why exactly he’s been distant the past week. he takes your hand and leads you through the front doors of what he now calls “our house”.

everything you’ve ever told him you wanted in your dream house; wooden overheads, small koi pond out back, a beautiful rooftop garden with a wooden porch swing.

everything.

he made it real. he made your dream house without you asking. he’s telling you he’ll move here if that’s what it takes to be with you. he tells you he loves you more than he can ever imagine loving anything else at all. he says that he’ll always be with you, and this time he doesn’t want to be apart to do it.

he asks you, “will you try to make it work with me?”

as if he even needs to.

if anyone asked you back then if you thought rin was capable of any of this, you’d say no. because the boy you knew at five is passive, quiet, not the kind to make declarations like these.

yet here he is, almost twenty years later, promising to put you first and make this last because he’s sure this is what he wants.

“itoshi rin,” you slowly call his name, roping your arms around his shoulder while the both of you look at each other and only each other as you stand on the staircase landing. “what would you have done if i said no?”

because this is all extravagant—rin put his everything into this. dug up all the memories of your dream house, ran himself haggard just to get all of this done on time, and who knows what else because he kept all of this from you?

rin has a straight face, beautiful teal eyes rolling to the side as he contemplates. “guess that was never an option in my head.”

“you’re so stupid,” you tease, pressing a kiss onto his soft lips and relishing in the fact that this is just the first kiss of many to come.

because he’s now here. here with you. and he’s here to stay.

“guess that’s why i need you around to take care of me,” rin teases back, biting his lower lip and smirking at you.

you jump up and he catches you, your legs crossed behind his back as he carries you to the kitchen, setting you down on the countertop.

“so, itoshi rin,” you say again, suppressing a grin. “does that mean you’re gonna make me your wife one day?”

rin sighs and rolls his eyes, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “okay, trouble, dial back a bit now. one step at a time.”

he’s lying through his teeth, a ring passed down through his family for generations already nestled neatly in the hidden compartment of the nightstand in the bedroom. he’s lying—but you don’t need to know that. not yet.

you’re all trouble, and all beautiful and all his and rin is going to marry you someday.

because he may be dumb in a lot of ways, may be a little awkward and terrible in most situations and not the friendliest guy out there. but somehow you chose him and you always did and you always will so he’s not going to let you regret that decision.

so before you can make a comeback and expose him for really wanting to marry you, he kisses you to shut you up, and you know anyway.

because you’ve known rin since you were five, playing hide and seek in the playground. you never won because you could never find him. but you think now you have; you’ve found him and he’s not going anywhere. not anymore.

“i’m never gonna let you leave me, itoshi rin.”

he chuckles, “i’m all yours, trouble.”

#bllk x reader #itoshi rin x reader #rin x reader #blue lock x reader #rin itoshi x reader #itoshi rin fluff #blue lock fluff #itoshi rin x you #rin x you #rin x y/n #itoshi rin x y/n #bllk x you #bllk x y/n #rin itoshi x you #rin itoshi x y/n #૪ aeri’s fics !

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dutchforstrangers · 6 months

Text

Taishirokoura x possibilities - "What if" pt. 2

For @taikouvember 2023 - Day 2: Past, Present & Future + Day 6: Brave Knowledge, Unexpected Impulsive Love & Curious Courage

[0. Author's note] [1. Koushiro] [2. Sora] [3. Taichi] [4. Taikoura]

Taikoura | Genre: Young oblivious romance, mild fear | Characters: Sora Takenouchi (POV), Jyou Kido | Wordcount: 603

I think of you Pick up my phone Then put it down again There's no way for you to reply To the messages I never send In my mind, we'd never fall in love But what if I'm on your mind?

Pt 2. Sora

“Why don’t you just text her?” Sora decided to blatantly ask. “You’ve compiled so many nice messages, but you never seem to send them. It’s a pity, really.”

She looked at Jyou who was sitting left from her. In order to get to their work, every week they both traveled by bullet train crossing Tokyo, often ending up in the same train. Despite Jyou’s sometimes usually twitchy nature, Sora really enjoyed his company.

“I just don’t feel comfortable yet…” Jyou said and Sora could hear the nervosity rise in his voice again. “We only met again last week after years.”

He was referring to the girl he had borrowed a bike from during the events of Diablomon. Sora laughed to herself recalling the moment Jyou told everyone what he had done feeling incredibly guilty, yet blushing madly when he called the girl by name all the same. A few weeks ago, they had accidentally bumped into each other again, rekindling old sparks and Sora had been helping Jyou with dealing with his feelings ever since.

To her, it was always easier to deal with someone else’s feelings, her own being way too complex anyway. While she turned her own phone in her hand a couple of times, her thoughts wandered off to not one, but two people. She quickly shook away any more thoughts and composed herself by responding.

“But if you don’t send them, she will never know how you exactly feel. I mean, you do like her, don’t you?”

Jyou nodded. “It’s just... not the right time yet,” he stammered, his eyes fixated on his phone, a small smile across his lips. Sora watched him carefully, mirroring his smile. He then looked up, catching her watching him. “How about you, Sora-kun?”

“What about me?” She moved back slightly, ducking away from his question.

“Well, you’re not any better than me regarding sending messages.” His tone was light, but serious.

“I’m not following.”

“Every time we’ve been on this train together these past few weeks, you have been fumbling with your phone. It’s been weeks now,” he said as he showed her one of his kindest smile.

It was a sympathetic smile, with it telling her he understood. Sora smiled back, her gaze directed towards her feet, thinking back to these last weeks. How she had been nervous to receive messages, avoiding to opening the ones she had received, anticipating a rejection while there was nothing to reject yet.

She had typed what could easily be a hundred messages, never believing any of those was the right one. And thus she never sent one, that way there was nothing to reply to for the others.

Sora looked back up to look at Jyou. It was funny how she was able to tell him to send those messages, while she herself couldn’t do it. Maybe she needed to hear her own advice from someone else.

“ I didn’t know you could be so observant,” she lowkey teased him.

“I’m usually not, anyway, not when it comes to these things,” Jyou awkwardly laughed away, his right hand scratching the back of his head. It was almost apologetically. “But you three are so obvious.”

A feeling of being caught came over her and Sora’s cheeks turned as red as her hair. “U-us three…?”

It was never supposed to go that way, she shouldn’t be feeling what she felt. She couldn’t chase after that kind of love… Could she?

“Everyone knows, except the three of you.” Jyou said, interrupting her thoughts, sounding more calm than ever before.

“Just send those texts already and you’ll find out.”

#taikouvember2023 #taikouvember #taikoura #digimon fanfiction #digimon #taishiro #koura #taiora #sora takenouchi #jyou kido

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the-fiction-witch · 2 years

Text

Letters To Apartment 64 D

Media: The Queen's Gambit (Netflix 2020)

Character: Benny Watts (Thomas Brodie Sangster)

Couple: Benny Watts X Reader

Rating: Mild Smut, Mostly Adorable

Concept: Long Distance Relationship

(Trying out a new way of labeling Fics what do we think ^)

I forced open the door, having to give it a shoulder shove as I always have to, given the door has been slowly falling from its hinges, I have told the landlord but I don’t think he particularly gives a shit. I threw my keys on the hook, my bag in my bedroom and my hat and jacket on the hooks beside the door. I sat the mail pile from the mailbox on the table to go through once I had a damn coffee. I emptied my bag throwing my clean clothes back in the drawers and my books on the table to put away later, throwing my laundry in the hamper. I quickly made myself a nice strong coffee and got settled in my chair with my knife.

I slowly went through the mail sorting through junk, invitations, press things and all sorts of other nonsense most of which I had one look at and threw away. I picked up the next and couldn't hold back the smile that cracked across my face.

The little baby blue paper was a little creased and bruised from its journey to my mailbox, the sweet navy blue ink in that flawed cursive I knew so well.

‘Benjamin Watts

Apartment 64 D

Stalemate Avenue

Brooklyn

New York

The United States Of America’

Just to be sure I flipped it over spotting where the envelope had been sealed up well with as few bruises across the paper. And the sweet little inked drawing of the little black and white panda bear.

So I smiled and put it away wanting to save it for later continuing on with my coffee and the rest of my mail.

After I had dealt with everything for the day, had myself a… semi-warm shower and got myself tucked up in bed, I got the little letter from the side table and I couldn’t help my smile. I carefully opened it revealing the three of the same sweet smaller blue stationery envelopes with the same blue ink. One had a little heart drawn on it, the other had a chess piece, and the last had a little newspaper. I smiled and opened the little newspaper envelope seeing her sweet letter.

'Dear Benny,

I hope that you are feeling well after your laborious travels. I sometimes know how you can get when you're travelling a lot. Pray to tell, how have your tournaments gone? I'll likely hear of the outcome in the following days but I know you so like to have my letters when you return home and of course, and of course I like to ask to hear of it from you. Things are going well here much as they always are even if the weather has turned rather harsh, much more so than last year. I, at last, found the time to change around my curtains and other linens I’m sure I’ll find other jobs for myself in the coming months. I’m sure you will too find something to take up your time post chess season. Perhaps you’ll finally find the time to get that basement of yours looking more like a home, I Was so thrilled to receive your letter, I felt like I hadn’t heard from you in months, I really missed my little cowboy X ’

The letter talked of course about everything I had asked her in the letter I sent her a few months ago along with all the other news going on with her lately. I smiled and put it away on the side so I could write her a reply to her in the morning. I opened up the small chess envelope seeing the small sweet note with the move

White D4 Castle to D6

I laughed a little, getting my small travel board and doing the move she made taking notes so I could send her back my own move, knowing it won’t be long until we had finished this game even though we started it over a year ago.

Admittedly I considered leaving the last little envelope but I’m already all cosy and cuddled up in bed opening the little heart envelope and immediately six little polaroids fluttered onto my bedsheets. And I smirked setting everything else away picking up the little polaroids seeing her in her sweet little flowery dress, another of her out in her garden among the daisies, Another of her in her sweet vanity blowing me a little kiss, Another of her laying in her bed with a sweet black lace set of bra and panties tight and snug around her plump body revealing so much but nothing I had seen in her photos before. And the last in a sweet black lace bra and panties with the bra pulled down enough to reveal her perky breasts.

“Hummm dirty girl” I smirked looking over them and grabbing the little box from under my bed, the old battered shoe box filled to the brim with our other letters and the other sweet and sexy polaroids she had sent to me...

I stood having my second coffee of the morning attempting to get the metal capacity to take a damn shower. When I heard a knock on the door which confused me. I set my coffee down and went to the door giving it a firm pull and being met by a familiar face.

"Morning Watts"

"What do you want Weiss?"

"Mostly to bug the shit out of you, and not pay for a hotel during my layover?"

"Fine" I sighed letting him in "Coffee?"

"Yeah go on then" He laughs taking off his jacket and having a look around my apartment "Still living in a crack den I see"

"Ex crack den." I corrected

"They left, I moved in. that's how renting works Weiss" I explained as I made him a coffee

"Didn't even put new wallpaper on the walls?"

"Why? it's... fine" I shrug

"I am waiting for the day I walk in here and its a perfect little place"

"Why?"

"I'll know you got a girlfriend"

"Don't be a dick," I told him handing over his coffee and taking a seat at the table

"Still haven't brought a couch?"

"Why? I have a chair"

"Some would call that antisocial ben"

"People don't like it they are welcome to fuck off"

"Now that is being antisocial" he laughs "Can I change my clothes? been in these on the plane I feel horrid"

"Go on," I told him so he happily headed into the bedroom I didn't think much about it getting my typewriter set up as I needed to get some writing done today, and soon enough he returned in a new shirt with a smirking smile across his lips "What?" I glared giving him a look but he just smirked at me "What?" I asked again more firmly this time

"what's her name?"

"Whose name?"

"you know who"

"I do not."

He smirked and set the last couple of polaroids onto the table "who is she?" he smirked

"I said you could change, not go through my stuff!" I complained grabbing them and hiding them away

He smirked and took the seat across from me, "something you want to tell me ben?"

"No" I snapped focusing on loading my typewriter

"I already know so tell me"

"You don't know shit Weiss"

"I know there's… a girl." He smirked

"Do you now"

"Who likes you enough to flash her tits in a polaroid for you" he smirked and I didn't even look at him "come on, I won't tell anyone"

"Yeah you won't, because I'm not telling you anything. It's my business. It's got nothing to do with you Weiss"

"Tell me, come on. Or I will tell everybody about your little polaroid girly"

I sighed "will you shut the fuck up. If I tell you?"

"Yes"

"And you won't say a word to anyone else"

"Cross my heart"

"I'm serious Weiss. I hear anything about this outside of this apartment I take my knife and do something so horrific to your dick you will never want to look at it again. Do you understand me?"

"Yes" he gulped

"Fine. And don't judge me"

"I won't I promise"

"Fine." I sighed, having a sip of my coffee. I pushed myself up from the chair going to my bedroom seeing where I hadn't put away the little box from last night where he clearly found those photos, so I returned them to the box and brought the box to the table taking out the photo she sent me so long ago, in her beautiful black dress letting him see the photo "Her name is y/n."

"Y/n? Cute."

"And she lives in the UK"

"What?"

"Yeah"

"How did you two meet then?"

"Well… we haven't officially. Met."

"Hu? Okay I need an explanation. Like now."

"When I finished my book, openings and tactics advanced"

"Yes benny I remember your book" he sighed sipping his coffee

"The chess federation paid to publish it, but due to them being cheapskate assholes they only paid for US distribution. And a couple of months after it got published I got a letter from the chess federation said someone was trying to get in contact with me about the book so I accepted. And a week or so later a letter came" I explained "from the UK, from y/n. She is the UK chess champion held the title for six years when we first got talking, she knew of me of course thought the chess news and things and she was very interested in one getting her own book published in the US

and two getting my book published in the UK and Europe. We ended up getting nowhere with it but I sent her a copy of my book and she sent me one of hers" I told him getting the book from my box "and… we got attached to each other. It started off normal. Innocent. Just writing letters back and forth. Playing chess thought the mail and all just little things" I shrug "but we grew closer, and talked more and more and now, we talk all the time in letters always sending things back and forth to each other, put kisses on the ends of our letters, send each other polaroids cute and not so… innocent. And we're kinda, dating. Long distance."

"So, this whole box?"

"Is letters, our via mail chess games, pictures, drawings, little trinkets and things she's sent me. Ohh yeah she went on holiday to the coast last summer and she sent me a little Panda on a string" I smiled getting the tiny bear as I flipped thought the box

".... Hang on, have you two actually ever met?"

"No. Not in person. But I really do like her, I do. And it's not like I don't want to we've both busy and I don't get chance"

"She sent you a picture of her in sexy lingerie and with her tits out. And I'm going to guess there are alot of them like that in that box"

"..... maybe"

"And let me guess you have also sent her… of you-"

"Yes."

"Funny question I know. Why don't you just call her?"

"Time zones. Plus writing to each other is cuter plus we both travel a lot so it's easier just to have letters waiting"

"Benny. I admit I'm not the smartest guy in the world"

"Obviously" I told him

"But. Come on. If you like her that much, just hop on a plane or buy her a ticket and met this girl"

"Your right. I jumped can't afford it"

"Benny Watts you just one US Chess champion. Use your prize money to pay for it"

"Well…"

"What else are you going to do with the money?"

"Well, my car needs work, I need some new jeans, a couch as you so often suggest"

"Gambling it all away"

"Shut up Weiss"

"And your rather do all that, then actually meet in person this girl you've been talking to for years, and who is your girlfriend and get that you have never actually met"

"Point taken"

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dhr-fics · 2 years

Text

Author: thelashjedi

Amends (117KB - 7 Chapters - R) The ball had been underway for about an hour before he caught his first glimpse of her. He was off to the side, chatting with his parents and Astoria, who was preening under all of the attention she had received as the newly announced, future Mrs. Draco Malfoy. Granger was standing across the dancefloor, with her back to him, engaged in conversation with Potter and some higher-up from the Ministry, her wild curls making her instantly recognizable. She was wearing a golden evening dress – like the Gryffindor queen that she was – a Muggle fashion that showcased her curves. Even from behind, without seeing her face, she was practically stopping his heart she was so gorgeous. And then she turned around and he thought his heart might have actually stopped for a moment. Granger was pregnant. Granger was noticeably pregnant. Probably around five months pregnant. Which meant that she had been pregnant the night that they had ended things, three months ago. The night that she had confirmed that she was exclusively sleeping with him, and had been exclusive with him for the preceding several years. Granger was pregnant, with his child.

Bottle Episode (18KB - One Shot - PG-13) “Granger. Granger! Wake up.” Hermione’s awareness came to her slowly. Someone was shaking her by the shoulder and speaking very loudly in her ear. She slowly opened her eyes and the shouting figure before her resolved into a blond man with grey ey — hang on. “Malfoy?” she asked incredulously. “What — where am I?” “I don’t know,” he said, sounding resigned. “I just woke up a moment ago myself.” Hermione sat upright. She was on a stone floor. She looked around her surroundings and saw that she was inside of a stone room with no windows or doors. Moving quickly, she discovered that her hip was sore — presumably from lying on the hard ground. Hermione instinctively reached for her wand and found it wasn’t there. She started running her hands over her clothing, trying to locate it. “I don’t have my wand either.” Malfoy said. “I think whoever left us here took them both.”

Bound (38KB - Incomplete - NC-17) Draco looked at her before answering. “I have displeased the Dark Lord. So he ordered Greyback to bite me last full moon. Tonight, when the moon rises, I will transform into a werewolf for the first time.” His voice trembled and his jaw visibly clenched as he fixed his gaze on her. “Oh, Draco. I’m so sorry.” Hermione blushed as she realised she had blurted out his first name. Malfoy glared at her. “You’re sorry? I’m going to transform and kill you sometime in the next twelve hours, Granger. And I won’t be able to stop. Do not waste your time feeling sorry for me.” He sounded disgusted. Hermione blinked. She sighed as she sat on the floor of the cell with her back against the wall. “Well, we’ve got a few hours until that happens. What shall we do in the interim?” It was Draco’s turn to blink uncomprehendingly. “I just told you that I’m going to transform into a bloody werewolf and kill you. This is your reaction?” Hermione shrugged. “Well, I’ve assumed that I was about to die —horribly, I might add — every moment since I got captured. That’s exhausting, Malfoy. The – I don’t know – certainty about this actually feels nice in comparison.”

Christmas with the Wilkins (103KB - 7 Chapters - PG-13) Draco's mother marrying a Muggle -- in Australia, of all places -- was frankly unbelievable. But even was more troubling to him was that he couldn't shake the feeling that he *knew* the man from somewhere. But how could Draco Malfoy know a random Muggle from Australia? And why did the man's curls remind him so much of his co-worker Hermione Granger?

Enchanted (25KB - One Shot - PG-13) Draco Malfoy's Ministry of Magic officemate, Hermione Granger, has been cursed into an enchanted sleep and the experts think that only 'true love's kiss' can wake her up. And apparently, the Weasel did not fit the bill. But why in Merlin's name is Harry Potter coming to talk to him about it? A Draco POV, Ministry of Magic AU where Draco and Hermione share an office. There isn't any Ron bashing in the fic, per se, but he's not having a great day either.

i'm yours (38KB - 3 Chapters - NC-17) "When he entered the ball this evening, and his eyes were assaulted by the groping forms of Weasley and Brown, the realization that Granger was no longer attached hit Draco with the force of a bombarda maxima. Draco reeled, shocked that he now had a long desired chance, something he thought would never happen – a window of opportunity to see if Granger might be amenable to seeing him as more than a friend, or co-worker." After Ron Weasley humiliates Hermione Granger at the Ministry of Magic’s Annual Yule Ball, Draco Malfoy seizes the opportunity to offer himself as an alternative.

Just Desserts (15KB - One Shot - R) Why would you talk to me? Draco thought, behind a heavy wall of occlusion as he politely, but rotely declined the Head Girl’s offer to join her in the Great Hall, at the newly mixed tables set up in the wake of the war. Theo was sitting beside her, gamely chatting her up. Even Pansy had tentatively joined, uncharacteristically keeping herself on the fringe of the conversation. But at least she was there. Of course, thing might be different if Potter had also returned to school — after what Pansy had done. Because Draco could not sit at that table. Not after what he had done — or failed to do — when Granger was at the Manor. His heart started pounding, the memory of her screams always fresh in his mind because he relived them every time he closed his eyes. He left to go to the library. It wasn’t as though he had much of an appetite.

Oblivious (16KB - One Shot - PG-13) A Dramione Deathly Hallows AU, where things go a little bit differently during the Battle of Hogwarts. Draco’s POV from the time Harry, Ron and Hermione were searching for Ravenclaw’s lost diadem in the Room of Hidden Things.

Patience (20KB - One Shot - R) In many ways, Draco followed a similar life to that of his godfather. He was just like Snape, hiding in the castle after the death of his Muggle-born Gryffindor. A day never went by where he didn’t trace the black outline of her initials on his arm, over the faded remains of his Dark Mark. His two greatest failures immortalised together, a permanent reminder of his loss. He never glamoured it. He never hid it when he rolled up his sleeves to demonstrate potion techniques to his students. He needed to bear witness to his failures. Hopefully it would sink in enough over time, that the next time he had his chance with her, he wouldn’t fuck it up so badly. So it caught him entirely off guard when his soul mark changed.

Say You'll Remember Me (37KB - 2 Chapters - NC-17) “Granger, I cannot offer you anything. I can’t be anything to you.” His voice held such sadness and longing, that her heart broke for him. For them both. He was wrong, of course. He was everything to her. Or at least he could have been. “Well, I don’t know if I agree with that,” she said hesitantly. His eyes snapped up to hers, with something like hope flickering for a brief instant. Hermione wanted him so badly — more than she had ever wanted anything else. Heaven help her, she knew it would only end in heartbreak. At least, it would for her. But she wanted so desperately to burn herself on his pyre, even if it was only for one night. After all, nothing lasts forever.

Something Missing (21KB - One Shot - NC-17) “I thought it would only be sad old men and one handsome me drinking here tonight. So imagine my surprise when a beautiful witch walked in. And then to my greater surprise, it was you.” Hermione rolled her eyes at him. “Lying flatterer.” She lightly slapped his shoulder with the back of her hand for emphasis. She didn’t actually seem angry though. Just a bit irritated. “No lies, Granger. You seem to have figured out how to stop looking like a walking library and instead look like a witch. It suits you, whatever you’ve done.” “Mostly, what I’ve done is lose twelve and a half stone of ginger.” Hermione finished off her drink and signalled to the bartender for a refill.

#author: thelashjedi #published: 2021

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redflannelsheets · 5 months

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Now I’m just reblogging other things I want to show you here, too, haha. Give me enough time and I’ll probably be reblogging the ridiculous things too, though I still do that on my first tumblr. I remember way back in the day when you started following it and I didn’t know why you were so interested, but at that time I was still in this place where I thought you couldn’t possibly like me, not for real, but that was low self-esteem talking. Do you know how much you made me believe in myself simply by liking me? I asked you like three years ago if you liked me, and you wrote me the loveliest response, ending with that you liked me the most, and I cried. I also laughed because of course your grandmother gets top billing, I love that she’s your favorite person. I would hope I come in second to such a remarkable woman.

Time works strangely for me. Every yesterday is the fresh imprint of some fond memory or another of you, of us. I still feel so close to you. I wake up and there you are on my mind. I don’t know how other people get emotional distance from things. All time exists at once for me. I’m actually afraid I might start processing things like “normal” people and forget all of the warmth and joy I had with you. Little conversations and those silly cartoon us-es in the chat and walls of text and cute selfies of you and laying in my bed bathed in the glow of my phone screen reading the sweetest words I’ve ever been told. I cried once when you said I eased your anxiety. I didn’t know how to respond to it properly and I’m afraid you thought I was being dismissive, but even now it’s one of the most precious compliments I’ve ever received.

I miss all those speech-to-text rambles you used to send when you were still on the other coast. You said once you just liked telling me things and I wish I’d told you how much I loved you telling me things, except I was still in that place where I thought I should cover my feelings with some kind of veil, lest I scare you off with the intensity of me.

I had a nightmare last night and you were in it somewhere around the edges and I woke up wondering if I would ever tell you about any of my dreams again. I’m afraid that you hate me. I’m afraid that you hate yourself. I’m afraid of all of the things I don’t know. I know, I said in a previous letter-to-nowhere here that I can’t be afraid of what I don’t know but fuck it, I’m a human being, and we’re all wavy-gravy-loosey-goosey creatures. There is consistency—that I like you, that i love you, that I miss you above all else I have ever lost, including my mother—but in your silence I waver on other things sometimes. I’m not giving up the self-esteem, though. You can’t blame me for believing in how rad I am after your constant reinforcement! I know I’m pretty great, not just because you believe in me, but because that belief allowed me to consider that maybe other people don’t think I’m so bad either. I don’t say “I’m pretty great” lightly—it took me a long time to get here and it definitely flickered off and on when you left. But I embrace it now. I am pretty great, though not better than anyone else. I’m not sitting on a high horse looking down on others. But I’m not awful, either. I’m not a bad no-good person. I’ve made dodgy decisions due to my own cowardice, but I’m determined not to make those mistakes again. I learn by committing errors, whether it’s with Duolingo or my heart. I will never accept a place in the shadows again. I will never enable anyone to skirt the truth again. Unfortunately with you it probably means I’ll never get another chance to prove myself, but at least I know I learned a lesson, no matter how sad it makes me.

Where was I going with any of this? I don’t know. I hope you’re having a good day. I hope the inspiration flows and the words come to you as you need them. I hope that your favorite podcasts are keeping you good company. I hope that you are having nice dinners and enjoying the laughter of your friends.

I love you. So much.

Still.

#letters to you #i love you

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andyourhostkristenwiig · 2 years

Text

So thanks to my former best friend, I actually can’t turn off my head during my days off work like I wanted and needed.

I just can’t get over why I “lost” three “close” friends within the past 2 years?

1.)

- things didn’t go her way, so she went crying to our boss, faking stories and crying, making me the bad guy just so things would be the way she prefered

2.)

- cries to me that all his friends forget about him and don’t care about him once they find a significant other and he’s glad he has a friend in me, gets a girlfriend, doesn’t even greet me outside anymore, ignores my message, doesn’t keep his promise of helping me out with my car

3.)

- claims things between us were “weird” when in reality, what her stubborn head wanted didn’t work out, I didn’t want it to begin with so fixing it would’ve been her part (I’m not even gonna lie, she was such a bitch about that trip that I had so much fun seeing her plan fall apart) - claims things were “weird” when 4 of us met secredtly during lockdown in 2020 because my nephew was soo devasted about his concert being cancelled...but everyone posted a picture of their negative covid test while she claimed “yeah, same on mine”, knowing full well she didn’t believe in the virus, didn’t wear masks and didn’t social distance, we kept distance from her during the evening - claims I didn’t talk to her anymore when I waited about a week to receive maybe 2 answers on 5 texts, she wouldn’t answer work mails or the work phone so I didn’t text her anymore or kept my answers super short because I didn’t want to start a conversation we were never gonna continue - claims I withheld money from her despite me not even having the refund yet, didn’t even react when I told her I didn’t have the money yet - made my emotional victorious moment of finally having quit my job all about herself by going “oh well, nice that you’re telling me already” when I didn’t tell her within a week and claiming she’s made peace with us not being friends anymore a long time ago (despite me assuring her that only 2 people outside of work knew) - had the absolute most disrespectful reaction when I told her I can’t answer because my grandma is at the hospital - texts me Wednesday evening, thursday morning and then gets mad on Friday that I haven’t answered despite Thursday having been my birthday

I don’t get it!! This all reads like things that happened in school. But they’re all adults (more or less...not sure how adult someone is who doesn’t pay their own bills in their mid-twenties because mommy and daddy do, lives with them rent-free and can only can from A to B being driven by daddy no matter what time it is)...at least by age.

Things don’t always work out 100% in your favour! It is entirely possible to have friends and a girlfriend. Problems can be talked about, sometimes only one person finds things are off between you, you have to talk about it. It is perfectly normal even for good friends to go a while without talking because life gets in the way or to have a weird evening together. And most importantly: IF THINGS ARE SUPER IMPORTANT AND TIME IS PRESSING, YOU CALL AND DON’T RELY ON YOUR THREE SENT TEXT MESSAGES WITHIN THE LAST 48 HOURS! Who has the time to be connected to their phone 24 hours a day??

Honestly, I’m too old for this shit. I just want friends who don’t act like the world is ending because I couldn’t find the time to reply or who feel betrayed and act like victims because things aren’t going the way they wanted.

#this has been a rant...#she's ruined my week off now because my head just won't shut up #she's blocked now so don't worry #but I can't believe she thinks she's like...IT when it comes to being an adult #nobody is perfect #but this...ugh

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missluckycharms · 3 years

Note

Could you do a smut at anne's house(harry's mum's house)????

Three Taps.

Summary: in which Y/N has to sneak into Harrys house at night to be alone with him and Harry loves hot chocolate with pink marshmallows.

A/N: this is a high school Harry x Y/N fic, both are eighteen in this, just keep that in mind as they are in high school but they’re of age.

Masterlist.

Warnings: Dom!Harry, oral sex, praise kink, size kink, gagging, dirty talk, Harry tends to be a sarcastic asshole even when they’re doing the devils tango.

Word count: 3.4K

—

Three taps.

Thats what Harry told Y/N to do, tap three times on his bedroom window and he’d let her in. It’s been their code every few nights when she would sneak over to his house, or he would sneak into hers. Sure, they’re both eighteen, but as all parents say “my house, my rules” so they have to abide by that, kind of.

The pair have only been dating for a little over six months now, both of them graduating soon and moving away for college, but they’ll work around that when the time comes, for now, they have have to work around how Harry can fuck his girlfriend just the way they like, without his Mum waking up and finding them both in bed together, that wouldn’t be a pretty picture Harry thinks.

He’s on red alert, Y/N texting him nearly ten minutes ago saying she successfully snuck out and is now on her way over, the walk to his house is usually fifteen minutes, but she doesn’t mind, she’ll do anything to spend time with Harry — the same Harry who would fold someone up like a pretzel and shove them in a locker if they called him a name, but if Y/N did it, she would get a small smirk and a wink, knowing exactly what hers and only hers punishment was for that.

Harry is a complicated person, to his friends he’s nice - ish, to strangers he looks cold and like he would use you as his skateboard face down on the tarmac if you looked at him wrong, sure he would do that — but he’s not like that under all his rough exterior, he has a warm heart and loves squishy cuddles, and he also loves marshmallows in his hot chocolate, but only Y/N sees that side of him — he only allows her and his Mum to see that side of him. It took him a long time to actually soften up to her, the girl being persistent that she knew what he was really like, he’d shrug and laugh it off saying she was crazy, but when him and his Mum got into an argument and he showed up to Y/N’s house at nearly two in the morning, soaking from the rain and his cheeks tear stained — she knew he finally let down all his walls, he needed her and she gave him what he needed in that time, a hug and a mug of hot chocolate with pink only pink! Marshmallows.

Ever since he opened up to her that night, sipped on her heavenly made hot chocolate, he knew that he could always be safe with her, he would always know that she’s there when he needs her most and visa versa. They’re deemed the “odd couple” in school due to Harry being so cold and Y/N being the slightly quiet and lovable girl who would rather hug someone to death than shove them in a locker and leave them there, but somehow their differences only draw them together and make them one of the best couples there is, they balance one another out — Harry brings out Y/N’s crazy and adventurous side while Y/N brings out Harrys soft and calm side, opposites attract, and they’re living proof of it happening.

He jumps when the small three taps are heard at his window, his body immediately kneeling up and pulling across his curtains, looking down at her stood in his front garden with a hand full of small pebbles from his Mums flower garden (she always returns them) she’s smiling up at him, his own body on his bed right next to his window as he peers down at her, clad in his red baggy hoodie and her black leggings, her hair poking out from the hood of the hoodie as she waits for him to open the window.

“Ladder is by the gate baby” he whispers loudly down to her, she barely hears as she nods, making her way towards the back gate leading to their garden. She grabs it, making sure to not fall or it will wake his Mum up. Harry is practically hanging out the window when she rests the ladder against the wall, looking up at him as she wipes her forehead ridding the sweat.

“Sometimes, I think you only do this so I’ll get off my ass and actually work out” she grumbles falling in through his window and onto his bed, his laugh low as he pulls her jelly like body in, her laughs coming out as pants as he rests her down onto his pillow before shutting his window quietly, his ears on high alert for any movements from his Mums room across the hall.

“You’re just a lazy bum, sometimes I think you may pass out if you walk too much” he jokes looking down at her as she rolls her eyes, pulling down the hood and freeing her hair.

“I hate you. Fuck me, is your heating on?!” She says pulling his hoodie from her body, throwing it onto the floor and leaving her in only a sports bra and leggings, Harrys eyes widening at how easily she slipped it off and laid back down with no care in the world.

“Mum likes to keep it on, apparently her toes get cold in the night no matter what time of year it is” he rolls his eyes, leaning down to hover over her, forearms on either side of her head as she bites her lip smiling up at him giddily.

“No wonder you sleep naked, feels like a furnace” she jokes as Harry hums kissing her neck, her eyes rolling back at the feeling as she wraps her legs around his waist, their crotches grinding down on one another’s as they breath heavily trying to avoid moaning loudly — they both found out they love being vocal in bed, one day Harry was home alone and him and Y/N practically screamed down the house, he’s surprised Mrs Walker next door didn’t ring the police.

“Need to be quiet for me baby, okay?” He says whispering in her ear, her breathy moans being masked by his neck, her lips all over him as he rolls his head back, allowing her more access as she bites and nips at his skin, leaving behind marks that he’ll have to steal some of his Mums makeup to mask over when he’s walking around.

“Should be saying that to you, mister loud mouth” she jokes in a whisper by his ear, her lips sucking on his lobe is what causes him to bury his head in her neck to groan lowly from his chest, his hips rutting down into hers as they both roam one another’s bodies with their lips and hands.

“Very smart mouth for a girl who prefers it to be stuffed full of m’cock” he moans back, her lips now sucking and licking over his sweet spot just under his ear lobe, her own moan muffled by his skin as he shuts his eyes and looks up to the ceiling allowing her to kiss him further, her lips leaving a burning trail down his neck and over his collar bones — his favourite place to give and receive hickies on.

“Harry, shut up and just do something” she says annoyed, frustrated at her boyfriend who always choose to tease her with sarcastic remarks, he knows it riles her up and he loves that, he loves how needy and angry she gets when he grinds his clothed cock down onto her making sarcastic remarks and softly degrading her slowly as she grows wetter and wetter at his movements and words.

“Don’t have to ask me twice baby” he laughs kissing down her torso, his hands immediately shrugging off her bra with her help, and then he slowly pulls down her leggings along with her panties, leaving kisses on the spaces he makes bare and small hushed complements against her skin as he takes her all in under the light of his ten year old soccer ball shaped light hanging from the ceiling above them.

She’s a squirming mess under him, his lips instantly attaching to her clit as she bends her legs, resting her legs over his shoulders as he holds onto her outer thighs, the grip probably marking her skin as he devours her on his bed, his eyes looking up at her biting down on her lip, her hands grabbing a pillow and shoving it over her face to muffle her moans, Harry can hear them slightly, his eyes rolling back into his head as she shakes and squeezes her legs around his head.

“Come on baby, need to see you” he says slipping two fingers into her but not moving, the pillow coming away from her face as she looks at him in her usual fucked out state, glassy eyes and messed up hair.

“H, I can’t, I need to have it over me” she says referring to the pillow, her body shaking as Harry begins to slowly move his fingers in and out of her, stretching her as she drips down his fingers, the sound of his movements in her cunt causing him to press down his hips onto his bed to relieve himself a little.

“Put y’pretty panties in y’mouth baby” he says slurred from pleasure, his own hair a curly mess as his lips become more swollen and spit covered from how harsh he’s eating her out. He takes her panties in one hand, reaching up and rolling them into her mouth, instructing her to bite down on the white lace fabric before he’s back between her legs eating her out.

She’s moaning around the fabric of her panties, her drool wetting the lace as she tugs on Harry’s curls, his moans deep and raspy in her cunt as he keeps his eyes on hers that are threatening to close every second, the slaps he sends to her thighs cause her to open them back up and keep contact with him, his smile devious as he purposely sucks on her clit when she’s close, knowing it ruins her when he does that — he loves to watch her struggle to bite back her moans, the pair of them feeling the rush of nearly being caught everytime one of them make a loud moan or move too quickly which causes his headboard to slap a little off the wall behind it. He’s lapping up all her juices and her moans she’s muffling, her body shaking as he finally brings her to her first high of the night, his fingers not stopping as he rides her through it, kisses being placed to her thighs as she finally calms down, tears brimming her eyes and a lazy smile around her panties that are clutched between her teeth.

“Doing okay baby? Need me to take these out?” He asks crawling back up her body her hands immediately tangling back in his hair as she nods, letting him pull the soaked panties from her mouth, his mouth drooling at the sight of them in his hands.

“Gonna be able to take my cock without being gagged? Or will ya need to have your pretty lace panties back between your teeth?” He teases her, her eyes hooded with pleasure as she scratches her nails down his chest and stomach making the muscles under his skin flex with the slight burn of the marks she’s leaving behind.

“Want you to ruin me, may need them back in between my teeth” she says breathlessly, a slight smirk on her lips as he groans at her words, grabbing the panties and placing them in his own mouth, bending down and feeding them into her mouth, her own teeth clasping them as they leave his mouth, his tongue licking over her lips as she looks up at him with her glassy doe eyes.

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles smut #dom!harry #harry styles au #harry styles one shot #smut #harry styles fandom #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #answered asks #anon ask #writing promt #harry styles blurb #fanfic writing #fanfic authors #fan fiction

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messers-moony · 3 years

Text

Divorce | J.P

Paring: James Potter X Slytherin!Reader

Summary: Reader goes through divorce with her arranged husband but sees her Hogwarts crush almost two years later at her Potions shop in Diagon Alley

Divorce sucks. There is no other way to say it. There is no amount of sugar to properly coat the words to make them seem better than they are. Instead, they’re pure salt– pure acidity. An arranged marriage for purebloods was typical. That doesn’t mean that everyone technically agrees they work. Some speculate that arranged marriages work more than chosen marriages. Y/n wouldn’t be one of those people.

Her family was a part of the sacred twenty-nine. The L/n’s, to be more specific. Y/n was a model child, an only child at that. She was sorted into Slytherin with not a consideration of any other house. Immediately at the age of sixteen, she was engaged to another man called Zenix Flores, another family of the sacred twenty-eight. Zenix was sweet, but he wasn’t her type.

Throughout her years at Hogwarts, Y/n stared at another. His name was James Potter. A star Quidditch player for the Gryffindor team. The best Chaser. Y/n’s lingering stares and dreamy look didn’t make it past Zenix. Fortunately, Zenix had eyes for another as well, Sirius Black, the best friend of James Potter. They bonded over that. They bonded over being in love with people they couldn’t have.

Everyone dies eventually. Immortality is not reality, and once Y/n’s parents died. Divorce was in order. However, they didn’t love each other like they should’ve it still sucked. They were close friends. But did close friends have a child together? Leo Flores, the product of Y/n Flores and Zenix Flores, was only eight years old when they went through the divorce. Leo was a token to show that Zenix and Y/n fell in love. An illusion.

It took months, but after the process was complete, Y/n left. Leo was to be in her care for the rest of his life. Zenix would send some of his profit to them to help, but he would never see his son again. Granted, he didn’t treat Leo well. Always so harsh, so strict on the little boy. The first words out of Leo’s mouth were ma’am and sir. Not momma or daddy. Instead, they were formalities.

They lived in an apartment in Diagon Alley. It wasn’t huge, but it was enough. Y/n changed her last name, and Leo’s back to L/n. Another long process but worth the wait. Y/n worked at a Potions shop in the Alley. Sometimes her old friend Severus would visit and buy some ingredients, but no one else she knew ever came into the shop. Not until he showed up at the door.

James Potter came waltzing into the Potions shop like it was nobody’s business. Unknown to the woman working the shop, he had been watching her work from afar. Just across the street was a bookstore where Remus would visit. During one of those visits, James caught sight of her. Granted, James didn’t think he’d find love after Lily ran away after his proposal claiming he wasn’t enough but that all changed when he saw her.

The feelings came back like it was yesterday she was gazing at him from the Slytherin table in the Great Hall. Y/n’s cheeks were set ablaze, and her stomach was placed into a frenzy of a million different feelings. Her heart made it seem like she ran around the Quidditch pitch one thousand times. Unbeknownst to her, he felt the same way.

Eventually, he made his way to the counter, “ Um- Good Afternoon. “

“ Good afternoon, sir. How may I assist you today? “ Y/n asked despite her racing heart, “ I need some help brewing a complex Potion. “ James confessed, fiddling with his hands.

“ What Potion, sir? “ Y/n inquired, “ Wolfsbane. “ James answered.

Her eyebrow quirked upward, “ That is a difficult Potion. It could have awful defects if made incorrectly. “ Y/n explained, looking at the ingredient list, “ How about this, I’ll make you the Potion instead of you possibly messing it up? “

“ How can I trust you won’t mess up? “ James questioned, smirking teasingly, “ Well. If it helps any, I received O’s on all of my Potion examinations, even in N.E.W.T level. “ Y/n quipped.

“ Well. I suppose you know your stuff. “ He replied as he crossed his arms, “ I suppose I do. “ Y/n retorted with a smile.

So James decided that she’d make the Potion. He would’ve paid her a million Galleons if he was just allowed to sit in the shop and stare at her. She was a beauty and moved so gorgeously. She moved with a purpose, with determination and ambition. Sirius and Remus had begun teasing him as James stared longingly at the Potions shop across the street.

“ Do you know her name? “ Remus asked, standing beside James now, “ No? “ James stated.

Remus chuckled; of course, he didn’t, “ Y/n L/n. She was a Slytherin in our year. Amazingly brilliant she is. Apparently, she was married to Zenix Flores but got divorced two years ago. “

James and Sirius stared gobsmacked, “ Did you stalk Prongs’ future wife? “ Sirius accused, and Remus shrugged, “ I was curious. Plus, I knew her at Hogwarts. She was a Prefect. We had a lot of rounds together. “

“ She was a Prefect? “ James queried, “ Mhm. You were too busy drooling at Lily to notice her. “ Remus nodded.

Now James felt incredibly stupid. All those pranks on the Slytherin house made him feel exceptionally stupid, knowing that she could’ve caught the backlash on some of them. Not only that, but she was a part of the sacred twenty-eight. James had never felt more idiotic, and he had gotten rejected after proposing to his girlfriend. That was saying something.

A month had passed, and the potion was ready. So once again, James walked into the Potions shop. This time she had a messy top knot present on top of her hair. Her eyes held extreme tiredness, and she moved almost sluggishly. James was worried. But Y/n saw him enter the shop and her cheerful smile glazed her face. Two bottles were now present on the counter for James to take.

He stood at the counter and pressed ten Galleons on the table, “ Sir, they’re only three Galleons. “ Y/n stated, “ Take the extra. You look exhausted. “ James replied.

“ Th- Thank you. “ Y/n smiled, “ Thank you, Y/n, for making these. “ James said gratefully.

Y/n blushed, “ I- Um- You were a Slytherin Prefect in my year at Hogwarts. “ James stammered, “ I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you before. “

“ It’s okay. Divorce can do that to you, Huh? “ Y/n laughed bitterly, “ Well, when I proposed to Lily, she straight up told me I wasn’t good enough so, that was almost like divorce minus the paperwork. “ James added.

“ I’m- I’m so sorry. “ Y/n apologized, “ No, no. I’m okay, trust me. It’s been about three years. “ James replied.

Before Y/n could speak again, steps were heard from the second story, “ Mom! Mom! “ Leo’s voice called as he rushed down the steps.

“ Mom! “ Leo appeared from behind the counter to see James and a blushing Y/n, “ Oops, uh, sorry, mom. “

“ No, it’s fine. Come here. “ James beckoned, and Leo hesitantly approached, “ What’s your name, little man? “

“ I’m ten! “ Leo announced proudly, and James chuckled, “ That’s awesome! “ James smiled.

Y/n turned to her son, “ What did you need, Leo? “ Despite being embarrassed, she was calm, “ You accidentally placed my quills on a high shelf. I can't reach them. “ Leo confessed, slightly embarrassed.

“ I’ll be up in just a second, but- “ Y/n began, but James stuck out his hand, “ I’m James. “

“ I’m Leo. “ Leo accepted the handshake and smiled at the adult man, “ If your mom doesn’t mind, maybe we could chat? “ James inquired, looking toward Y/n.

Leo looked hopeful at his mom, “ Please? “

“ Sure. You can go. “ Y/n allowed, and Leo hopped over the counter.

Before James could leave the proximity of the counter, Y/n grabbed his wrist, “ Please. Take care of him; I'm trusting you blindly here. “ She pleaded, and James smirked, “ Of course. “

The rest of the day went smoothly. Y/n had closed shop and began restocking items when they showed up. James' unkempt brown hair was more unorganized, but his hazel eyes glassed with mischief. Leo’s black hair was blown away from the rain, and his blue eyes sparkled with excitement. James beckoned the ten-year-old back upstairs while he approached Y/n.

“ So? Have a nice day with my kid? “ Y/n teased, and James chuckled, “ He’s fantastic. “

“ I know. “ She replied, “ I took him for ice cream, and we went shopping for a little. “ James informed.

Y/n melted at the adoration present on James' face, “ Do you need any money back? I can- “

“ No. Don’t worry about it, doll. I’ve got it covered. “ James interjected, “ I just saw him, and he had this look. He looked trapped. He needed to leave and just let loose for a couple of hours. “

“ I- I really love him. “ James confessed, and Y/n smirked, “ You’re in love with my son but not the woman who created him? “

“ If we're being honest. I’ve been watching you from the bookstore across the street. I thought you were gorgeous. Remus was the one who told me who you were. “ He admitted nervously, “ But being with your son today. If you’d like, could I take him out more often? “

She stepped down from the ladder and stood in front of him, “ How about you stay forever? “

“ I- I mean that is if you want. I know that I’m a pureblood, and- and my son- you probably don’t want to have a child right now. He’ll be going to Hogwarts soon, and quite frankly, I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle it. But- But his former father wasn’t amazing, and I’m not sure you want that responsibility- “

Y/n was cut off when James grabbed her by the waist and placed his lips on hers. His thumbs rubbed gentle circles on her skin through her shirt. Y/n’s hands went through his unkept brown tuffs and his glasses slightly fogged from the heat of the kiss. They pulled apart but rested their foreheads on each other. They were still somewhat breathless from the soft kiss.

He held her chin in his hand, “ I’d love nothing more than to stay forever. “

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alwritey-aphrodite · 2 years

Text

bed

Paring: Steven Grant x f!reader, Marc Spector x f!reader

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1.4k

Author’s Note: this is inspired by the softest song in existence, Bed by justice smith. If you’ve never heard it, go listen immediately. Marc and Steven both deserve to be loved

This is somewhere Steven Grant never thought he would be, not even in a million years. But yet, here he was, laying on his bed next to a beautiful girl. But really, you were more than that. You were witty and intelligent and the most caring person he’s ever met. You laugh at all of his jokes, and not out of pity, and you’re happy to hear him talk about anything and everything. And you really, truly, are breathtakingly pretty.

The room is dark but the curtains are open, allowing the moonlight to filter through and illuminate your profile as you stare up to the ceiling. While Steven stares at you, he can’t help but wonder why the hell you’re even here. And in his blissed-out state, he had even less of a filter than normal.

“Do you ever wish I was someone else?” He asks, and he almost immediately regrets it when your head snaps towards him. It’s not that he regrets asking the question, instead he regrets ruining your peace, your relaxation, that you get so little of these days.

“What do you mean?” You get this little furrow in your eyebrow when you’re confused, and Steven can sense it more than he can see it in the dim lighting.

“Someone more like… Marc.” He hears your huff of breath, something not quite a sigh, as you contemplate your answer. That should freak him out, that should worry him, because if the answer was no you would have said it already.

You’re probably just thinking of a way to let him down easy, tell him that he’s nice to keep your company but you’d really prefer to be spending time with Marc, and he’ll forget your number and leave you alone and only ever get to spend time with your while he’s trapped in his own mind—

“No, not at all,” you finally respond, but he can sense there’s more coming, there’s more and he’s not sure if it’ll be good or bad. “I like both of you, of course I do, and as nice as Marc can be… he’s kind of an asshole sometimes.”

That makes Steven laugh, because you’re not wrong. While Marc loves you, he’s not the best at showing it, and tends to push away the people he cares about, including you. It’s that need to protect you that gets in the way, that makes him gruff and sometimes rude, but you always know it comes from his need to make sure you’re safe.

And Steven doesn’t know that you’d had a mirror image conversation with Marc a few nights ago. He’d asked if you’d prefer to spend your time with Steven, someone who’s more open to affection and who gives more than he receives.

You had told him exactly what you told Steven, that you loved them both and just because they’re different doesn’t mean one is inherently better than the other. You briefly wonder if Marc hears you now, repeating your gentle reassurances for Steven.

“None of this comes easy,” you had said, reaching over to squeeze Marc’s hand across the cluttered kitchen table, “but we all just keep working at it.” And you had given him a soft, reassuring smile and Marc could swear his heart grew three sizes that moment.

“You know, we could all be a little more like you,” Marc said, so earnest and lovingly that it made you feel a bit like a bug under a microscope, his gaze pinning you down. You’d gotten shy and stared at the floor before the conversation had moved on, but the look never left Marc’s eyes.

“But you… you’re funny and cute and way smarter than you give yourself credit for and you make me feel happy, and safe, ” you pause, taking in Steven’s face and the slightly red hue you can barely see from the faint moonlight, but you know it’s there. “There’s no one I’d rather be with.”

It’s not as if Steven is perfect. He can be forgetful and let the world fade away from whatever isn’t holding his immediate attention. And Marc can be gentle and soft and loving, wrapping you in calloused hands and warm arms.

They’re entirely human, and you love every bit of them. They’re two different people who happen to occupy the same body, and you happened to fall in love with them both. They aren’t parts of a whole, they’re complete all by themselves.

You’d come into Steven’s life slightly before Marc’s, before even he had known about Marc or Moon Knight or Khonshu, when he was confused and frayed and exposed and about 99% sure he had gone completely crazy. He was only slightly less sure that he had made you up, that you were some mirage caused by his lack of sleep and unexplained bruising.

But you were real, and then everything fell into place and life made a little more sense to Steven. He was worried the first time you met Marc, cramped and panicking because why would you ever possibly choose him over the cooler, smoother, smarter man who he thought somehow was more attractive than him?

But you, you had somehow found the room in that big heart of yours to love them both. And love them you did.

Your affection came natural and often, but both of them were unused and thought themselves undeserving of that type of attention, pure and heartfelt. And while Steven wasn’t any less weary than Marc, he was more easily pliable, easier to tug into your arms and hold him there until he relaxed into it.

Even so, it had taken both of them months to get used to your soft touches and gentle kisses, the way you would hold them like you’d never let go. Now, Marc, and especially Steven, are greedy for your affection. But you don’t mind, happy to supply them with all the love you possibly can.

Marc and Steven both struggle with the idea of letting you go, that you’d be better off without either of them. You have so much love to give, why should you waste it on them? Why should this perfect girl, full to the brim with the purest type of love, waste it on a mercenary and a gift shop-ist possessed by an ancient god?

But when it comes down to it, they’re selfish. Neither of them could imagine living now without your soft smile and warm embrace and the way that you’d never leave their side, no matter what. So maybe it’s a bit selfish, but they could never let you go.

Steven notices the way you’ve gone silent and contemplative beside him, and he immediately tenses, thinking he’d finally said the wrong thing that would make you realize you’d be better off without him.

“‘M sorry,” he mutters into the darkness, purposely keeping his eyes glued away from your moonlit face.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” you don’t hesitate to reply, poised and ready to ease his fears. “Just know that I love you, always.”

Now it’s your turn to admire his profile in the dim lighting, turning your head to take in the curve of his nose, the slope of his jaw, the way his eyelashes fan out and his curls fall reckless over his forehead.

It’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.

If you could exist here forever, you would. Just you and Marc and Steven, content and cozy and bathed in the moonlight. In your continued admiration of him, you notice the steady rise and fall to Steven’s chest, the way his limbs have gone lax and sunken.

He never would have fallen asleep this easily before. He always tried to keep himself awake, to keep him from coming to miles and hours away from home, days later than when his eyelids fluttered shut.

But now, with you, sleep finds him easily, taking him away as gently as you’d hold a small child, a fragile thing. He drifts away enveloped in your warmth and in your arms, and if he’s lucky that’s how he’d wake up too.

Steven’s not always that fortunate. Sometimes when he wakes up, it’ll still be days later. It’s still disorienting and terrifying to lose such signifiant chunks of life, but he always knows you’ll be there waiting when he returns.

His bed used to be a place to avoid at all costs, something that only meant inexplicable pain and lost time, something to fear. But with you, it means safety and warmth and sanctuary. It means no sand or tape or restraints, only love and slumber.

Tags: @aellynera @mariesackler @creatively-analytical @stevenngrant @bingoboingobongo

#moon knight #steven grant #steven grant x reader #steven grant x you #marc spector #marc spector x reader #marc spector x you #moon knight fanfiction #moon knight spoilers #just in case

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letterstotheflre · 3 years

Text

i'd beg you on my knees

summary: you loved sirius's fingers, but there's something you craved more.

warnings: oral sex (male receiver), daddy kink, a bit of religious imagery (you know how it is), a bit of spitting, mentions of throat training and finger sucking, i think that's it?

word count: 2.5k

a/n: as a celebration for passing my chemistry final and 300 followers, here is the second part to the sirius corrupting you series :)

ps: i know those look like feminine hands, but pretend they are sirius’s okay i spent 2 hours looking for something to use and that’s the best i got

you couldn’t stop staring at his hands.

you had always loved them. they were big, always completely encasing your smaller ones, and full of rings, some of which you made yourself. the skin on his palm and finger pads was a bit rough, a consequence of years of holding a bat to hit the bludgers away from his teammates. but there was still a slight delicate appearance to them, courtesy of the black family genes which, despite years of slight inbreeding, somehow still managed to make some of the most attractive people in the wizarding world.

you loved the way they felt against the small of your back or your waist, always letting some warmth seep through the fabric of your clothes. you loved the way they cupped your cheeks before he leant down to kiss you, slightly squishing your cheeks and puckering your lips for him. but ever since that afternoon a few days ago, you adored the way they felt in your mouth.

you tried to be subtle, you really did, but it was impossible to stop staring at them. you couldn’t forget the weight of his fingers on your tongue nor the way they hit the back of your throat. the feeling of having them in your mouth brought a strange sense of comfort to you, it was like having a piece of him always inside you.

and sirius noticed. of course he did, you were one of the only things he deemed important enough to pay attention to, followed by the phases of the moon and any updates on the 5-year plan james had made to woo lily evans. and because he liked seeing your glazed over eyes and heating cheeks when he caught you staring, he started to show them off on purpose.

he started to talk with more hand movements, followed by always playing with any stray hairs around your face. he started to use his thumb to play with your bottom lip before kissing you, almost giving you what you wanted but then taking it away from you.

he caved in when he saw how truly needy you were for them. the teary eyes and little whines you made every time he pulled them away from your mouth were almost enough to make him hard, so he allowed you to suck on them every now and then. he watched attentively as you slightly hollowed your cheeks when he used both his pointer and middle fingers, sometimes trying to get as much of them inside you as possible.

so he started to push your limits, drawing circles against the back of your tongue before he pushed them further, not warning you before they entered your cavity, yearning to hear what other pretty sounds you could do besides moaning and whining. you had gagged violently the first time he did it, and you looked at him confused at the sudden intrusion, “remember the first time you sucked on them? remember what you wanted them to be?” you nodded slowly, embarrassed that he could recall how much you wanted other parts of him inside you. “I gotta stretch your little throat, bunny. gotta get you all ready for my cock.”

and that was that. the following days were spent with you either on his lap or on your knees in front of him, long and thick fingers prodding the back of your throat constantly until it only took you less than five minutes to get used to the feeling of something residing in it. sirius never let up, even if you had some tears in your eyes caused by the intrusion, always giving you new learning material: breath through your nose, relax your throat, open your mouth wide. his instructions ran through your brain every day, an urgent need to remember them controlling your thoughts.

and that’s how you were now, on your knees in front of him like a repentant while sirius sat on the edge of the mattress, mouth wide open as you waited eagerly for his fingers. you watched, intrigued, as his mandible moved around almost like he was collecting something. your unvoiced question was answered when his face came close to yours, his hand tangling itself in your hair to tilt it upwards, and then his spit was dribbling onto your pink tongue.

the sight of him spitting into your mouth sent a thrum of pleasure to your core. “swallow,” he said, leaving no room for disobedience. You followed his command, letting it fall down your throat as if it were your forbidden fruit, and once you opened your mouth again his fingers went in, immediately pressing on your tongue. you swirled your tongue around them, covering them in your saliva before he started to push them further. you only gagged a little, the previous lessons having already prepared you.

he let you suck on them a bit longer before removing them, watching as your hands scrambled to his wrist to keep them close. he shook his head, chuckling in amusement, “you needy thing.” he patted your head, “I think you are ready for my cock, angel, do you want it?”

you opened your eyes wide, looking like a kid in a candy shop. “yes, please!” your voice was a bit hoarse, “wanna make you feel good like you made me feel the other day, siri.” the smirk he wore on his lips when he heard your eager ‘yes’ fell into an honest smile, “oh I bet you’ll make me feel better than that, bunny.”

you watched from your position on the hardwood floor as he rose to his feet, unbuckling his belt and pulling the zipper down. he let his jeans fall to the floor, now only clad in his underwear that would soon meet the same fate and you wiggled, eager to finally see him. once he was completely naked he sat back on the bed, spreading his legs so you could kneel comfortably between them. he was already a bit hard, courtesy of the image of you suckling on his fingers so needily, but he still needed a little push before he was ready for you.

you were entranced by him, this being the first time you ever saw someone other than yourself completely naked. he wasn’t wearing a shirt, and you could see the slight ripples of muscle on his abdomen and the stray tattoos that adorned his skin here and there. he had a few scars, some of them caused by his parents' punishments and others from a few accidents during the full moon, but he was still absolutely beautiful.

and then your eyes fell lower, down the happy trail of hair that led to what you had been craving since that fateful tuesday afternoon. it was big, even though you had never seen another cock you couldn’t deny its length. there was a vein on one side that stood out a bit, and the tip was a bit red and something shiny was coating it. “can I please touch it, daddy?” you asked sweetly, wanting to remain on his good side.

the name had accidentally left your mouth a few days ago when you were suckling on his fingers. you were just so needy, so desperate for their weight on your tongue that your mind had started to feel fuzzy, and the nickname just slipped out.

your cheeks had resembled the heat of a fire, still sober enough to realize your mistake but when you saw the way his eyes had darkened and his grip on your waist tightened, you repeated it. he had cursed, voice low as his other hand cupped your cheek. “you want daddy’s fingers, hm?” he questioned, forcing you to tell him with your words what you wanted when you merely nodded. and that was a new lesson, ask for what you want and you were to only refer to him as daddy in private.

“go on, angel,” he said with a nod of his head. slowly, you moved one hand closer, still a bit hesitant with your movements. though eager to learn, you were still scared of doing something wrong and stop being his good girl as he had called you multiple times while he watched as you touched yourself for him. he would sit in a chair in front of the bed as he told you what to do and when to cum, and the rush of power he felt was extraordinary.

one finger traced the vein, the soft touch making sirius twitch. the skin was warm and actually pretty smooth, with a couple of ridges here and there. gently, you closed your hand around the base and moved it up and down, and sirius groaned. the soft touch drove him insane, your palm barely gripping him, “close your hand a bit more, puppy,” he instructed. you gripped him more tightly, “it won’t hurt you?” you asked.

sirius just smiled at your thoughtfulness, “no, baby, it’ll feel really good. just don’t add too much pressure as you did with your nipples the other day,” he slightly taunted. you blushed at his teasing, “didn’t mean to do that, daddy,” you grumbled and unknowingly thumbed at the slit of the tip, making him moan in pleasure. the sound was so heavenly in your ears that you did it again and again until one of his hands gripped your hair so you looked up at him.

“you’re teasing me now, bunny?” he said harshly, “that’s not how it works and you know it. d’ya want me to stop you from cumming again like I did yesterday?”

you shook your head quickly, or as much as you could with the grip on your hair, “no no, m’sorry, daddy, didn’t mean to.” but he just chuckled, an empty sound that wasn’t as nice as his previous moans. “oh, you didn’t mean to! like you didn’t mean to tug on your nipples. like you didn’t mean to wear that tiny skirt the other day. like you didn’t mean to cum without my permission three days ago.” he started to list all of your accidents, “is there anything you do mean, angel?” he asked harshly.

your lips slightly quivered at his tone, ashamed at making him angry when all you wanted was to please him. “I want to make you feel good, daddy! m’sorry, I promise I’ll be better. I’ll be your best girl.” you tried to convince him, and you really did mean it. all you wanted was to be good for him.

“well, then put my cock in your mouth and show me y’can be good.” with that, he moved your head closer towards him, and then slackened his grip. you looked at him while giving the tip a little kiss, then using your tongue to collect the pearly white liquid that had collected there. it tasted a bit funny, saltier than you remembered your own cum to taste, but it wasn’t necessarily bad. then, using the flat of your tongue, you moved along the length, using one hand to keep it straight.

sirius was biting his lip as he watched you, his little angel on her pretty knees about to suck him for the first time. after a few more teasing licks, you finally took him into your mouth, and the moan that escaped sirius was incredibly sinful. your mouth was so warm and so wet that the only other place sirius could ever possibly want to be in was your pussy.

you swirled your tongue around the bit that was inside your cavity, your hand still stimulating what you couldn’t fit yet. he was big, too big for your mouth, but you wanted to fit all of him inside, so you took a deep breath through your nose and tried to relax both your mandible and your throat before taking him deeper. you pushed as far as you could, staying there for a couple of seconds before pulling apart, heaving another deep breath before repeating your actions. you gagged and choked at the progressive obstruction, yet you pushed through it, but it sounded so good in sirius’s ears that he thought about just pushing your head down without warning.

sirius threw his head back with a groan when you started to hollow your cheeks, “fuck, angel, you’re so good, taking me so well.” he praised, and it made you shiver in pleasure, the meaning of his words accompanied by his gruff voice a perfect melody. you raised your eyes to look at him. he looked beautiful like this: head thrown back, lips red from biting them, completely exposed for you and one hand gripping the sheets while the other grabbed your head.

you pulled away with a pop, “y’look so pretty, daddy,” you complimented him, and it made the tension in his stomach tighten significantly. it was such an innocent compliment in a completely unholy scenario that he couldn’t help but twitch in your hand. you had just wrapped your lips around him again when he said, “not as pretty as you with m’cock down your throat,” and it made you giggle around him as you shied a bit at his words. the vibrations of your little laugh could’ve sent him over the edge, “shit—” he cursed.

you took him deeper than ever before, your throat now used to the intrusion and barely even gagging. sirius started to raise his hips, almost face fucking you but he held back some of the strength in his thrusts. you kept your eyes on him, and fuck you looked so good with your mouth full and those watery eyes and flushed skin that after a few more thrusts he pulled you away.

you whimpered, not understanding why he stopped your movements. there was still a string of saliva that connected your mouth to him, and he sped up his hand movements as he looked at your sinful image. “daddy,” you groused, tongue out so he could put it back in.

“fuck, angel, m’gonna cum,” he moaned, “n’ I’m gonna paint your little face, d’you want that?” he asked, slightly panting through his exertion. but you shook your head, “m’mouth, want to taste you,” and that did it for him. he cursed and moaned, all at the same time, as that wave of pleasure swallowed him whole. white spurts fell on your tongue, a few others coating your cheeks, and he looked so sinful while working through his orgasm that you had to clench your thighs together.

once he was fully spent, he watched as you eagerly swallowed what he gave you, showing him there was nothing left. his hands went to your cheeks, cleaning his cum from your face and forcing you to clean them, too. it was so dirty that he felt proud of what he made of you, his cock twitching once more before softening.

“was I good, daddy?” you asked him with a slightly raspy voice. you were looking up at him as if he were your god, his opinion of the highest importance to you. he smiled proudly, his fingers now playing with the chain that had a little ‘s’ that rested just between your collarbones. “the best, angel.”

TAGLIST: @gxtitobxby @emmaev @dracosafety @dracoxgeorge @sarcasmismyon1ydefence @remusjlupinisdead @mattefic @zzzfour —if you want to be tagged tap here

#sirius black x reader #sirius black imagine #sirius black smut #sirius black x y/n #sirius black x you #sirius black one shot #marauders smut #marauders fanfiction #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter imagine

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the-bau-quinjet · 3 years

Text

Seven Drinks

Bucky x f!reader

Summary: There's a reason Y/N has never had more than 3 drinks around the other avengers, and they're about to find out.

Warnings: depression, thoughts of suicide, panic attacks, angst (don't worry there's fluff too)

Word Count: 4322

a/n: This is inspired by that episode of Brooklyn 99 with 6 drink Amy (I adopted that concept!) and also Halsey's album Manic. :) I hope you like it. Anything in bold is a lyric from one of the songs on the album!

Please let me know if I messed up the trigger warning tags! I've never written anything like this before, so I just want to make sure I do it right.

Masterlist

"We're having a party tonight." Tony's announcement was met with the usual groans of annoyance at having to schmooze with the typical socialites that attended Tony's party. "You know, you are so ungrateful sometimes. here I am trying to throw you a party, and you're complaining!"

"Tony, we all appreciate the effort you go to, but- at least speaking for me- I don't like people." Y/N's response was effortless, swiftly calming Tony and explaining the reactions.

"That is why-" Tony stuttered when he actually registered the words you said. "That doesn't sound like you at all. And besides, this is a party for just us. It'll be more like team building, but without any pre-planned activities. No "smarmy, rich people" to deal with." He directed his last sentence at Bucky, Steve, and Sam.

The team actually seemed excited at the prospect, albeit skeptical of Tony's motivations.

Unsurprisingly, Nat worked up the courage to question him on it first, "what's the catch?"

"No catch. Just friends, food, and lots of alcohol." His grin quickly shifted into a smirk as the entire room turned to look at you.

You groaned slightly, not wanting all the attention. "Look, there is a reason I cap myself at 3 drinks." Holding up one finger, you started to explain, "One drink Y/N is barely any different from my sober self."

Wanda quickly cut you off, "not true! You get louder." She smirked, happy to have added that tidbit of information.

"Fine." With a laugh, you admitted she was right. "I might get the tiniest bit louder." You held up a second finger to continue your explanation, but were once again cut off.

"It's not a bad thing. It's just your happy, bubbly, and slightly louder than normal personality shining through!" Nat added, seeing an opportunity to tease you for being so positive all the time.

"Thanks Nat. Anyway," emphasizing the rudeness of being interrupted twice, you continued, "two drink Y/N is more touchy feely than normal. Not in a creepy way though!"

"I love two drink Y/N. She gives the best hugs!" Thor eagerly added to the conversation, glad to have dropped by when he did.

"Thanks Thor." With a small smile in his direction, you held up a third finger. "Three drink Y/N is the perfect amount of just past tipsy to have fun without doing anything extremely embarrassing. It makes the most sense to stop there." You finished her little speech with your typical smile and a resolute nod of your head.

"Seriously, you need to relax. Just let loose this one time!" Sam tried to encourage you. With the eyes of nearly every avenger set on you, your resolve didn't last very long.

"Fine! Maybe I'll have a fourth drink." You were met with cheers as you rose from your spot on the couch, trying to prepare for the night that was to come.

As soon as you stepped off the elevator, you had a drink in your hand. Clearly your friends were going to make sure you got a fourth drink. even Steve seemed excited when he saw you, although his golden boy personality didn't disappear completely.

"You sure about this? I don't want you to feel pressured!" Bucky nodded, weirdly enthusiastically, before adding, "Yeah doll, don't drink more than you want to."

"You two are too sweet. Sam's right, but don't tell him I said that." You winked at the two super soldiers, emphasizing the joke. "I should let myself relax sometimes. I'm in a safe place, with friends who won't let anything happen to me. What could a few more drinks really do?" You couldn't help but smile at how true that was. You were surrounded by people who care about you.

"Oh, so now it's a few more drinks? What are we talking here, six drink Y/N? Seven?" Bucky teased.

"You'll have to wait and see, Ducky." You teased right back, knowing how flustered he got at the pet name. Steve laughed at his friend as you walked away, ready for your second drink.

Before long, you had your fourth drink in your hand. It was slightly odd how literally everyone was staring at you, but your were three drink Y/N at the time, so you were drunk enough not to care.

You downed the fourth drink, unprepared for the consequences.

"So, Y/N... how do you feel?" Clint braved the waters, everyone eagerly awaiting your reaction.

"That is so nice of you to ask! I feel great! I don't think I've ever been this happy." You jumped up and down, hugging Clint with a huge smile on your face.

"How did you get even happier?" Tony chuckled, shaking his head slightly.

"Do you not like it?" Like a switch had been flipped, you were nearly crying.

"What?! No!" Tony was so taken aback at the tears pooling in your eyes, he froze, unsure how to fix it. He looked around the room for help, but everyone else was just as shocked as him.

"I'll fix it!" You were at the bar, fixing another drink before anyone fully comprehended your mood swing.

You walked back up to the group, sipping from your fifth drink as if nothing happened. "What?" You questioned the odd looks, but before receiving an answer you squealed, again jumping up and down. "Let's dance!" You turned around, ready to move to the more open area before looking back over your shoulder, "Wanda! Nat! Pepper! Come on!"

The women shared a look, ultimately shrugging before joining you on the makeshift dance floor.

"Bucky, you've been staring at her for 20 straight minutes. When are you finally gonna talk to her?" Steve couldn't help but pester him about his feelings.

"I can't help it. I've never seen her dance so much. I mean, I know she's always happy, but this is a whole new level." He didn't take his eyes off of you, even when he was responding. "I can't tell her tonight, though. This is the most she's had to drink in years."

He watched as you moved back over to the bar, needing another drink after dancing so much.

"Here we go, six drink Y/N." Bucky gestured to the bar. Steve shook his head, but allowed the change of topic.

About five minutes after your sixth drink, you were somehow bounding around with even more energy. You were nearly running around the room, trying to talk to everyone at once.

"Ducky! Have I ever told you I took gymnastics lessons for 7 years when I was younger?" You were bouncing with pent up energy, excited to be sharing more information about yourself.

"No, you've actually never mentioned that." He smiled, enraptured by your childlike enthusiasm, so enraptured that he didn't notice the mischief in your eyes.

"Well, I did! Watch this." You handed a confused Bucky your now empty glass, turning and throwing your arms up. Bucky realized two late what was happening, and with both yours and his glasses in his hands, he couldn't physically stop you.

"Y/N, wait!" His shout had everyone turn and look as you flawlessly executed two cartwheels in a row.

Bucky would swear your smile got even bigger as you turned around to look at him again.

"Normally I can do more, but" you hiccuped, then lowered your voice to a really terrible whisper, "I'm a little drunk." You leaned into him, laughing as if you just told a joke.

Wanda walked up to you with a seventh drink, hoping seven drink Y/N had a little less energy, but happy to see you having so much fun. "Here ya go! One more of your favorites, just like you asked."

"Thank youuuuuu!" You shifted to hug Wanda, leaving Bucky to miss your added warmth.

You sipped your seventh drink slower than the rest, quickly running out of energy. Sliding the empty glass across the bar, you slipped out of the party unnoticed, making your way to the kitchen for some pickles- your favorite drunk food.

Your seventh drink hit you just after you opened the pickles. Gone was the happy, bubbly persona you showed the world. The mask slipped away, leaving you alone to contemplate your life choices.

You made your way to to the lounge just outside of the kitchen, choosing to lay on the floor behind the couch and stare out of the large floor to ceiling windows.

"Where's Y/N?" Bucky glanced around the room, an uneasy feeling in his stomach.

"Huh? Oh, she said she wanted a snack." A very drunk Wanda turned to look at where the food was set up, scrunching her face in confusion when she couldn't find you. "Weird. Maybe she went to the bathroom?"

Bucky, having noticed your absence 8 minutes ago, didn't think you left for a bathroom break. "Maybe." Plus, you always took the girls to the bathroom with you. His eyes flitted about the room, taking one more glance before deciding to go look for you.

He decided to head for the kitchen since Wanda said you wanted a snack. He laughed at the open jar of pickles, knowing you at least passed through this room. He put the pickles away before popping his head into the lounge area.

"Y/N?" He called out, figuring this was the most likely location for you to end up.

You hummed in response, not moving from your spot on the floor. Bucky walked further into the room, slightly confused as to why he could hear you but not see you. That is, until he realized you were laying on the floor behind the couch.

"Why are you on the floor?" He smiled when he found you.

"I'm just looking at the sky." Your voice held a melancholy air as it floated through the room. Bucky's smile faltered, not used to hearing you sad. In the three years he's known you, he's only ever seen you sad because of a movie or tv show. Otherwise, you were quite literally always happy.

"Why-" he faltered, unsure how to check on you. "Is everything okay?" he nearly choked the words out, feeling slightly stressed at your sudden gloominess.

"Yeah." You took a deep breath, slowly letting it out in a deep sigh. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just... I don't know." You sigh again, still looking at the sky.

Bucky chances another question, wanting to get you talking since you're acting so off. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel... so sorry." You words were so soft that Bucky could barely hear them.

"Sorry?" He tried to hide his confusion, matching your soft tone as he sat down a few feet away from you. "About what doll?"

"Just... because I feel so sad." Tears pooled in your eyes, but you didn't stop staring at the sky.

"What are you sad about?" It's taking everything in him for Bucky not to hold you right now. He doesn't want to make you even more upset, especially because he's never seen you like this.

"No one around me knows who I am..." He watched as a tear rolled down your cheek, shining in the light from the moon.

Bucky moves closer, just close enough for him to reach out and hold your hand. You squeeze it, instant relief flooding through him that he hasn't crossed any boundaries.

He goes to speak, but you cut him off. "I'm not breaking. I won't take it. And I won't ever feel this way again." Your voice is harder, as if your angry with yourself.

"Hey, hey, hey. It's okay to have feelings. You're allowed to feel like this. Don't push it away. Talk to me. Why don't you think anyone knows who you are? We're all here for you, Y/N." He rubs his thumb over the back of your hand, trying to convey how serious he is.

You let out a dry laugh, wiping the the tears from your cheek. "My self preservation..." Bucky can tell there's more to, choosing to wait for you to continue. "All of my reservations..." You sigh again, sitting up, you scoot closer until you can lean your forehead against his shoulder. "I bottle it up. I'm my own biggest enemy." You let out another dry laugh, shaking your head without moving it from its resting place on Bucky's shoulder.

Bucky wraps his arm around you and leans his cheek against your head. "Take your time. You can talk to me." He whispered, trying to keep you talking without getting mad at yourself again.

"Well, I'd like to tell you that my sky is not blue, it's violent rain." The sounds of your sniffles break his heart. "I just pretend everything's fine because that's what I had to do when I was younger." Rather then interrupting, Bucky continues to rub small circles on your hand and your back, encouraging you to continue when you're ready. "Can I tell you a story? I... I think it'll help explain some of it."

"Of course. Anything you need, doll." He curses himself for the pet name, not wanting you to think he's joking. He just can't help it when it comes to you.

"Thank you, ducky." You chuckle, but your words are just as sincere as his. "You know I have two sisters, and I love them with all my heart, but sometimes growing up with them was hard. My older sister, she put so much pressure on herself to succeed. And, she did. She was so good at everything she did, that I felt like I had to be just as perfect.

With my younger sister, it was like it was effortless. She put just as much, if not more pressure on herself. but, she could do anything she tried to, with almost no learning curve. I always felt this crazy amount of pressure to be just as good.

My parents, they didn't really help with that. I mean, they were so supportive and I'm so grateful to them, but it was a lot of pressure. The summer between my junior and senior year of college, I wanted to get an internship. Ya know, to get some experience. It would set me up better for getting a job after graduation.

I spent months looking and applying, but nothing was working out. So, I went home for the summer. My mom would come home everyday and ask me if I got a job yet.

I spent nearly every waking hour looking for a job, even just a part time one for the summer. So one day, when we sat down for dinner and she asked if I got a job yet..."

Bucky could feel how tense you were telling this story, but he knew you needed to get it out.

"I told her, 'no, not yet' and she just seemed so disappointed. She asked if I was even applying and I snapped.

I yelled at her, something that had never really happened before. I told her I was trying. I was doing everything I could. She yelled at me for yelling and said it wasn't unreasonable to ask for updates.

I yelled right back. I kept saying I spend all day everyday trying and just when I finally get a break, she walks in and brings it all up again. I was stressed enough without her constant reminders.

I ended up running away from the table, in tears. I hid in the bathroom, there... there was a pair of scissors on the counter and I really thought about killing myself that day."

The tears are pouring out of you at this point. Bucky threw caution to the wind. He picked you up, maneuvering you to sit across his lap and lean your head on his chest. He kept rubbing circles into your back, murmuring words of encouragement.

"My younger sister tried to check on me, but I wouldn't open the door. My mom stomped down the hallway to her bedroom. I was full on having a panic attack in the hallway bathroom. I think I stayed in there for an hour before I went back to the dinner table.

My dad was in the kitchen. He put my plate in the microwave to heat up dinner for me. I ate through near constant tears, it only got worse every time he tried to ask me what happened. Why I snapped like that.

I wanted to apologize to my mom for yelling, so after I ate I went to her room. I knocked, and when she told me to come in I opened the door. I just remember her looking so angry.

I apologized. I told her I was sorry for yelling. She said something about not being unreasonable again. I cried again. When she asked what was wrong, I told her I was scared.

I couldn't put it into words though, so when she asked me 'of what?' I just shrugged. Then, she asked me if I was on my period.

God. I wanted to scream. I wanted to yell at her again, To make her understand 'I only wanna die some days. But if I decide to break, who will fill the empty space?' I decided that day that I would never try to tell anyone how I actually felt."

Bucky holds you as you cry. You're not sure how long it's been when you can finally breathe enough to talk again.

"I just, so many people have bigger problems then me. I grew up in a loving household. I went to college and made friends. I got a job after I graduated. So why am I so sad sometimes? I just wanna scream but what’s the use? At night, I lay awake and I stare at the door, I just can’t take it no more."

Bucky continues comforting you when he speaks again. "Just because other people have problems, doesn't mean yours are irrelevant. You are 100% allowed to feel however you feel, even if it seems like there's no reason for it. Have you ever thought about talking to someone about all of this? I know you just said you haven't told anyone how you actually feel for years, but I think it could help." He smiled nervously when you raised your head to look at him.

"I have actually. I joked about it a lot with my roommate right out of college. I always used to say 'everybody needs therapy' as a joke. Of course, I meant it. Most people probably do need therapy." You laughed, moving your arms around Bucky's neck to hug him. "Thank you for listening to me. I like talking to you."

Of course, Bucky noticed your smile didn't reach your eyes. He was confident in his words when he spoke again. "You can always talk to me. I'll always be there to listen." He followed that with a less confident "What's been bothering you today?"

"Oh, nothing that serious. It's just all pent up inside, ya know?" You smiled again, hiding your face so he couldn't see your lies.

Of course, he could still hear it in your voice. "Y/N, you can tell me. I want to be here for you."

"I... It's just, my insecurities are hurting me." You laughed at yourself. "Here we go with the fucking riddles, again. On the plus side, I think I've cried so much I'm back to one drink Y/N."

"Well, it has been 3 hours since I left to come find you." You were grateful for Bucky's joke, needing something to lift the mood a bit. "But, don't try and change the subject. I still want to know what's got you all sad." His words were light, but you knew how serious he was.

You took a deep breath, burying your head in his neck. "How could somebody ever love me?" You spoke into his shirt, not moving your head back even an inch.

"You know I can't understand you when you talk into my neck like that." Bucky tried joking, but even he knew it would do little to calm your fears.

You moved back, lips still grazing his skin when you repeated yourself, "how could somebody ever love me?"

Bucky wanted to scream. He wanted to tell you how much he loves you. He would gladly spend every day of his life loving you, but he didn't think this was the right time. Not when you just poured your heart out to him. So he settled for the almost truth.

"Anyone would be lucky to love you. You are selfless. You put everyone else first, no matter what. You always make sure everyone has a reason to smile, even when things aren't going right. You tell the best jokes. You're great at cuddling." He squeezes you closer to him, emphasizing the point. "You are beautiful, inside and out. Everyone who comes into contact with you automatically has a better day. You are incredibly strong and independent. I've never met anyone so incredibly good. Even Steve. Anyone would be lucky to be loved by you."

His words brought more tears to your eyes, pooling in the corners. "Then how come everyone that I’ve dated says they hate it cause they don’t know what to do with me? I feel broken."

"They were all idiots. You're not broken. Not even a little bit. You're learning how to express your feelings. You just need someone who would take it slow." He pressed a kiss to your forehead, struggling not to tell you everything.

"I wonder if you’d take it slow." Your eyes go wide when that slips out. You hadn't meant to make things uncomfortable. One look at Bucky's face has you freaking out. He looks stunned. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to say that. It just slipped out! Oh god, you've been there for me all night and I go and fuck it up by admitting I'm in love with you."

Your eyes grow even larger. You would move out of his lap, but his arms are still holding you in place. "Shit! Maybe I'm still drunk because apparently I have no filter." You say the last part more to yourself, but he can still hear you.

"Y/N?" Your name comes out of his mouth in a soft whisper.

"Yes?" You cringe internally at messing everything up.

"I would take it slow." He smiles, leaning his forehead against yours while he waits for you to absorb his words.

"Yeah?" You whisper back, a smile ghosting your lips.

"Yeah." You both lean in, exchanging soft, slow kisses and sleepy smiles.

The two of you ended up falling asleep leaning against the back of the couch. The sun streaming through the windows, combined with the noise of the other avengers in the kitchen, wakes you up.

You nudge Bucky, grinning when he pulls you closer.

"C'mon. Let's get some breakfast." He groans again, but eventually stands up.

The two of you walk into the nearly full kitchen, surprising everyone by coming from the lounge rather than the elevators. They share amused expressions, unaware of the emotional hurdles you jumped last night.

You head right for Sam, hugging him tightly before moving on to hug everyone else.

"I just wanted to thank you all. For encouraging me to live a little last night, but also for being there for me." Tears spring to your eyes again, shocking everyone but Bucky. "You're all like a family to me and I'm so glad I have you all to lean on." You made your way back to Bucky, leaning into his side while he poured both of you some cereal.

You smile when you look at him, kissing his cheek before sliding into the stool next to his.

As if broken out of a day dream, Sam sputters out a question. "What the hell did seven drink Y/N do last night?" Thrown off both by your behaviour with Bucky and the short emotional speech.

"Oh, seven drink Y/N is an emotional little bitch. I think I cried eight years of suppressed tears." You laughed, grinning at Bucky when he squeezed your hand. "Also, I think I need a therapist." Your casual admission has Tony spitting out his breakfast.

"What the hell happened last night after you disappeared from the party?" He guffaws, trying to put the pieces together.

"Also, why aren't you even a little bit hungover?" Nat chimed in, upset at missing out on seeing you anything but cheery.

"Well, to answer Nat first, I don't get hungover. Never have, even the one time I blackout out." You shrugged at everyone's slightly jealous expressions. "To answer Tony, I had an emotional breakthrough. Bucky helped me talk through it, something I never thought I'd be able to do. Long story short, i'm going to learn how to share my feelings instead of suppressing them all."

"Suppressing them? What are you talking about? I've literally never felt anything but happiness from you before?" Wanda questioned the new development.

"Well, that's because I'm really good at hiding how I feel. I'd rather not go through it all again, so just watch the security footage from the lounge last night, yeah? I want you all to know, even if it took seven drink Y/N to share it." You quickly finished eating, pulling Bucky to the doorway.

"While you do that, we're going out. Bye!" Before they could question anything else, you ran to the elevator, dragging a very willing Bucky behind you.

"We're going out?" He questioned when the elevator doors shut.

"Yep. Get dressed, I want to see all your favorite places in New York. Even if they're different now. Take me to all your favorite spots." You both smiled, sharing another soft kiss before parting to change for the day.

"Hey," Bucky called, causing you to turn over your shoulder, "I love you."

"I love you too."

#bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes one shot #tw: suicide #tw: depression #tw: panic attack

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honeypiehotchner · 3 years

Text

Version of You (Hotch x Fem!Reader) — one shot

Call 1-800-799-7233 if you think you are in danger/a victim of domestic violence, or visit this website for resources, live chat, and more (for the USA). This is a link to the wikipedia page that has international resources.

(I wanted to put that first because this fic deals with an abusive relationship and some scenes show the abuse. If you relate to any this, please seek help via the resources above. I want desperately to say my DMs are open, but for my own mental wellbeing, I have to let you know that the resources that I give above are about all I can do to help. You’re welcome to DM me if needed, but please know that it might take me a minute to reply, and I still will point you in the direction of resources that can better help you. I love and support and am with every single one of you, but I can only do so much through a screen xx.)

This is 100% a comfort fic, but I am safe and okay, I promise 💛 (Truthfully, this was really therapeutic to write.)

Small note: mental and verbal abuse is depicted here, not physical (though it does come close), but I wanted to remind you that just because abuse isn’t physical doesn’t mean it’s not harmful or real. Mental and verbal abuse is still abuse.

Summary: Hotch helps you find the courage within you to end your abusive relationship for good.

Warnings: depiction of an abusive relationship, verbal/mental abuse, violence (domestic and otherwise), angst, happy ending

Hotch Masterlist

Aaron is stunned and disappointed to find you’re still at your desk when he walks out of his office at the grand hour of 8 p.m.

You don’t even hear his office door open or close, but you do hear his footsteps on the stairs. By the time he reaches your desk to say goodnight, you’re already attempting to cover up any traces of emotion on your cheeks.

But Aaron is a profiler. On top of that, though, he’s one of your best friends. He’s known you for six years now, and given how much time the BAU members spend together on cases, he’d argue he knows every single person here better than they know themselves.

You’d agree. You hardly know who you are anymore. But somehow, Aaron knows. Aaron can see.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, already setting his bag down, already pulling a chair over, already sitting next to you.

You’re ready to tell him it’s nothing, to tell him to get home to Jack, that it isn’t important — but it is.

You’ve been with your current partner for almost eight years. Anyone would hear that and ask if marriage is on the horizon, or children, or something of the sort. But not Aaron. Because Aaron can see the pain in your eyes.

Truthfully, he’s seen that pain in your eyes for the past two years. Maybe more.

But recently, it’s gotten worse. A lot worse.

You’re on a “break” with your partner. Whatever a “break” even means, because you still receive phone calls and texts from them all day. You send the calls to voicemail unless you absolutely aren’t doing anything, and the texts you reply to with one word.

Going home is fine because your partner is gone — for now. Work called them away, so you’re home alone for at least another three days, but you expect they’ll want you to pick them up from the airport.

You’ve never longed for a case the way you’re longing for one right now.

This “break” has been easiest because your partner has been gone. You know if they were here, it wouldn’t have been a break at all.

“It’s made me realize that I...I want a break. A real break.”

“You want to break up,” Aaron says it for you, knowing you’re too afraid.

Your hesitant nod confirms this for him. “I do. I think I really do.”

Aaron has known the relationship hasn’t been the healthiest. You don’t open up about your personal life that much at work — you never have — but it has always been telling that you never go out for drinks with the team. And when you did, you’d have to answer texts every ten minutes. Your partner never accepted an invite to join the team for drinks or dinner, but would often get angry at you for being out, as if you hadn’t tried to invite them.

Raised voices, broken glass. Not a single hand was ever laid on you. No, instead, it was a wine glass your mom gifted to you when you graduated college when your partner was angry that you had gone out for drinks with the team after a difficult case. A coffee mug you gifted your partner for their birthday faced the brunt of their anger when you didn’t reply to a text message fast enough — because you were parking your car in the garage. Plates, picture frames. A coffee table once, three years ago. It had been a house warming present.

But they’ve never hurt me, you always argue — only with yourself. No one knows the truth, that you clean up after their outbursts, that you’re grateful to have some knowledge of first aid so you can tend to your cuts from the broken glass, or so that you could stitch up your partner’s hand with ease, because hospitals are expensive and the excuses you’d have to fabricate even more so.

They always apologize. Which is true. Apologies are frequent in your house. Sometimes verbal, sometimes in the form of flowers either on your desk at the BAU (that only Hotch seems to notice with a sad smile) or left on the counter at home. Sometimes, rarely, a fancy dinner and some gift, usually a necklace.

“If you need any help at all,” Aaron says, looking you in your eyes, carefully, intently. “I’m here. For anything.”

“Thanks,” you murmur. Your stomach rumbles loudly in the silence, making you chuckle awkwardly.

“Hungry?” He jokes, but is half serious. “I was planning to get something on the way home, if you’d like to join.”

You think it over for a moment. Your mind immediately jumps to say no because you think your partner is home...but they aren’t.

“Sure,” you say. “Why not. What’s on the menu?”

You gather your things and Hotch waits patiently, rattling off some ideas for food to eat until one grabs your attention.

Your phone buzzes with a text. Where are you?

Aaron notices your change in posture with a sigh. “Is that them?”

You nod slowly. “Asking where I am.” You quickly type back, Still at the BAU.

The reply is almost immediate, as always. Just checking. Love you.

Relief washes over you as you type back, Love you too.

Aaron doesn’t like what he sees. The panic that surges through you just from a text message, making you stand up straight, hold your breath, clench your jaw. Then the relief that relinquishes you when a reply comes and it isn’t negative for once. The sudden changes, the way your emotions are yanked back and forth. He hates it.

But he doesn’t mention it. Instead, he says, “Ready?” And waits for you to smile.

+++

Hotch really doesn’t mean for dinner with you to turn into somewhat of a routine. But it does.

It’s brought more smiles to your face than Hotch thinks he has ever seen in the past six years. And for that, he doesn’t regret the dinners.

Neither do you, until the worst thing that could possibly happen ends up happening one night, three weeks since the first dinner.

Your partner is going out with friends, so you think you’re in the clear to get dinner with Aaron. And when your partner asks where you are again, you say you’re still at the BAU. You were, but you and Aaron were in the elevator to leave when you sent that message.

The two of you grab dinner at one of your favorite spots, at a table outside because the weather is perfect, the sky is clear, and stars are beginning to show. It’s magical. Until it’s a nightmare.

“Well, well, well.”

The voice sends shivers down your spine. They’re supposed to be out with friends.

Aaron automatically stands, shoulders squared and face set. He’s wearing his gun, and you are, too, but you’d never use it on your partner. You can’t say the same about Hotch, though, and that terrifies you.

“Babe,” you say with a smile, and Hotch tenses, hearing the pet name fall so easily form your lips. “What are you doing here? I thought you were going out with your friends?”

Your partner crosses their arms over their chest. “And I thought you were still at work.”

“We are,” Hotch speaks up, startling you. “We’re discussing a case.”

Your partner looks around, raising their eyebrows. “I don’t see any papers.”

“Because we went digital five years ago,” Hotch replies coolly. “But aside from that, a federal investigation is none of your business.”

You swallow thickly, waiting for your partner’s reply.

But to your surprise, they only nod. “I understand, sir. I was only checking.”

Hotch holds back a scoff, but instead returns the nod. “If you’ll excuse us.”

Your partner holds their hands up in surrender. “Of course.”

“I’ll see you at home,” you say quickly. “Love you.”

“See you at home,” they reply, making you frown as they turn and walk away.

When you look back at Hotch, you nearly scream. It takes everything in you not to make the hugest scene right there, outside this nice restaurant, underneath these stars.

Your phone buzzes. One hour. Do not be late.

“Y/N—”

“Don’t,” you say quietly. “Just. Don’t, Hotch.”

+++

The next day, you knock on Hotch’s office door, twenty dollar bill in hand to pay him back for your dinner last night. You left in a hurry and didn’t get to pay. Thankfully, at least, arriving home with forty minutes to spare saved you from an even worse reaction from your partner.

“For dinner last night,” you mumble, sliding the twenty across Hotch’s desk. “Thank you.”

As you turn on your heel to leave, Hotch calls out to you. “I’m sorry.”

You sigh. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” Aaron says, making you turn back around. “I hope you’re...alright.”

You’re so very far from being “alright” that you almost laugh. Instead, you shrug. “It’s been worse.”

“Did they hit you?”

You’re too shocked to move. “What? No! Why the hell would you even say that?”

“Because I’ve been worried about you.”

“They have never laid a hand on me,” you snap. “Ever.”

“But they’ve come close,” Aaron says gently. “You know they have.”

You only scoff. You feel hurt. Insulted, even, that he would assume something like that. Your relationship with your partner is rocky, of course, but never physical abuse rocky. Never that bad.

But has it come close?

Sure, maybe you’ve felt the wind off a beer bottle when it grazed by your head on its way to the wall. Maybe you have had to duck to avoid getting glass to the face. Maybe.

Maybe they have come close. Closer than you want to admit.

But they’ve also loved you. Held you while you cried. Rewarded you after you cleaned up the broken glass. Left you flowers and jewelry and love notes.

They love you. Don’t they?

“It’s fine,” you whisper, blinking back the stubborn tears that have jumped to the front of your eyes. “They love me.”

“Love isn’t violent,” Aaron replies gently. “Love shouldn’t make you as terrified as I saw you when you left last night.”

“I know,” you choke out. “But I don’t know what to do.”

Hotch is rounding his desk and gathering you in his arms before the first tear slips down your cheeks. He holds you while you cry, letting you get it all out.

“We’ll figure it out,” he whispers, resting his chin on top of your head. “Don’t worry.”

+++

It all comes to a head a few nights later when your partner springs a question on you. The question.

There, standing in the bathroom, you’re too stunned to speak.

“What d’you say, baby? Let’s get married, you and me.”

You don’t reply. You toss the makeup wipe in your trash can, flick the light in the bathroom off, and walk out into the bedroom.

“Baby?” They ask.

You’re facing the dresser, halfway to setting out a pair of pants for work tomorrow. “I...I can’t.”

“What?” Their reply is immediate and angry. “What are you talking about?”

“I can’t,” you repeat, refusing to change your answer. “No.”

By the time you turn around, they’re standing up from the bed, arms crossed over their chest. “What did you just say to me?”

“I said no,” you say firmly. “I’m not marrying you.”

“And why not?”

“I—”

“Are you seeing someone else?”

“What?”

“Your boss? Are you fuckin’ him?”

“No!”

“Then why won’t you marry me?”

“Because I don’t want to!”

You’ve never raised your voice back at your partner. They’ve always been the one to raise their voice, and you stayed silent, tried to talk them down, be the quiet voice of reason.

But not anymore. You’ve had enough.

“You don’t want to?” They scream. “It’s been eight years and now you don’t want to. You’re fucking him, aren’t you?”

“I’m not,” you say through gritted teeth. “But I don’t want to be with you anymore.”

“Baby…” They sigh, stepping closer, lowering their arms. “Why not?”

“Because,” you reply slowly, backing up. “Just because.”

“That’s not a good enough reason and you know it.”

“It’s good enough for me,” you say. You step to the side and keep backing out into the hallway, getting ready to run if need be.

“Where are you going?” They all but growl. “What’s wrong with you?”

You’re scaring me, you want to scream, but you don’t. “I’m fine.”

“You’re fine? Well I’m for damn sure not fine, I’m heartbroken,” they seethe. You see the tell-tale signs that they’re about to get angry — angry enough to start throwing things. You realize in a moment of horror that a paperweight is within their reach.

And they reach for it.

“Don’t,” you murmur, freezing when their fingers wrap around the glass. “Put it down.”

“Why?” They ask, calm as ever. “Don’t you want to see what you’ve just done to my heart?”

You shake your head slowly. “No. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, no!” Your reflexes have gotten better since being at the FBI, and you duck right in time. The paperweight crashes against the wall behind you, shattering, denting the wall, and covering the couch in fine pieces of broken glass.

“See what you’ve done!” Your partner screams. “This could’ve been easy! You could’ve said yes!”

You spot your car keys on the counter next to you, and when they turn their back to you to grip at their hair, you slide the keys off and into your pocket.

I have to get out of here. It’s a thought that you never have. Normally by now you’d be vacuuming up the glass on the couch, apologizing every five seconds, pouring them a glass of whiskey or a beer or something. But not now. Not anymore.

You’re a few steps from the door when your partner notices. “Where the fuck are you going?”

“Nowhere,” you freeze. “Go take a shower. Cool off. I’ll clean up this mess and then we can talk about this again, okay?”

They almost don’t accept your offer, but after a second, they nod. “There better be a beer waiting on me when I get out.”

“Of course,” you smile.

Your smile makes them suspicious, but they turn and head into the bedroom without another word.

Shaking, you turn to the closet to grab the vacuum, turning it on and beginning to suck up the glass off the couch.

But when you hear the shower curtain pull closed, you escape, leaving the vacuum running.

+++

It’s pouring down rain, you aren’t wearing any shoes, and you’re knocking on your boss’s front door. Can your life get any more pathetic?

When Aaron opens the door, he’s practically hauling you inside and out of the rain.

“What’s wrong?” Aaron asks, already leading you down the hall toward the bathroom. “You’re shivering, we need to get you out of these clothes — you aren’t wearing shoes, fuck, Y/N, what happened?”

“They asked me to marry them,” you choke out. You aren’t even crying. You haven’t cried yet at all. “I said no. They almost hit me.”

Aaron feels a dangerous surge of anger course through his body. “Did they hit you?”

You shake your head, and it turns into a full-body shiver.

“Okay,” Aaron says, taking a deep breath to ground himself. “Okay, let me get some clothes for you. Do you want to take a shower?”

You shake your head again.

“Okay, that’s okay. I’ll be right back.”

You sit, shivering, on your boss’s toilet for a few minutes before he returns with clothes. A t-shirt and pair of sweatpants of his. Old ones, he says, they don’t fit him anymore. You smile slightly when you realize the shirt is from his college, the sweatpants from his law school. No wonder they don’t fit him anymore.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call,” you say. “I—I think I left my phone there.”

“It’s okay,” Aaron shakes his head. “Don’t worry about that. Just get changed and get warm. Do you want some tea? Anything?”

“Just some water, please,” you murmur. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” he smiles.

After he leaves, you change out of your wet clothes and into his shirt and sweatpants. You carefully hang your wet shirt and shorts over the edge of the bathtub, hoping that’s okay.

You venture out of the bathroom and follow the noise into the kitchen where you find Aaron putting up dishes.

“Hey,” he murmurs, straightening up. “Do you want ice with your water?”

“Um, sure.”

The sound of ice clinking into the glass makes you flinch, and you’re grateful Aaron’s back is turned away from you.

“There you go,” he hands you the glass.

“Thank you.”

You sip it quietly while he goes back to putting up the rest of the clean dishes in the dishwasher. Once he finishes, your heart is still racing, now with guilt from coming here unannounced. What if he was on a date? What if Jack was here?

“The guest room is all yours,” Aaron says softly. “If you want to talk about it, I’m here.”

You nod slowly. “I don’t know what to do.” You pause, rubbing your thumb over the condensation on the glass. “But I told them I’m not marrying them. But I...I didn’t tell them I was leaving. Or where I was going.”

“Good, that’s good.”

“No,” you shake your head. “It’s not. They’re gonna be mad. I can’t— Oh my god, I can’t go back. Not alone, they’ll—”

“Hey,” Aaron shushes you, walking around the counter to get to you. “Don’t worry about it right now. We’ll figure it out. I’ll go with you. You won’t be alone.”

“Thank you.”

+++

The next morning, you and Aaron head into the office early so you have time to grab your go-bag and change into your work clothes that you left in there.

Thank God for having a job like this where it’s normal to have a few changes of clothes, a toothbrush, deodorant, and anything else you need in a duffle bag under your desk.

You and Aaron are the first people in the BAU, so you’re able to grab your bag and head to the bathroom to change without any questions. Once you return, you stuff the bag back under your desk and sit down, ready to bury yourself in reports for the day.

But before you can, Hotch calls you into his office.

“What’s up?” You ask when you step into the doorway.

“We didn’t eat breakfast,” he says, and that’s when you notice the two coffees and muffins sitting on his desk.

“Oh,” you chuckle. “I completely forgot.”

“Me too,” he smiles. “Here, sit.”

The two of you eat the breakfast in silence, but somehow you don’t mind it. You’re not in much of a talking mood, anyway.

Rossi arrives next and stops by Hotch’s office, not at all surprised to find the two of you eating together, though he does join with his coffee a few minutes later. The silence vanishes with Rossi, leaving laughter in its wake as he tells old stories about Hotch.

When the rest of the team arrives, they follow the noise to Hotch’s office, and soon you’re surrounded by your family. Your real family.

Once eight-thirty rolls around, you all begin to disperse, back to your respective spaces to start working for the day, and everything feels normal.

And then, in a matter of seconds, it isn’t.

The second your eyes land on your partner standing down in the bullpen, you fall to your knees, scaring the shit out of Hotch.

“What happened?” He blurts, kneeling down to you. “Are you okay?”

“No,” you shake your head. “No, no, no...No, Hotch, they’re out there.”

Hotch doesn’t need their name. The fear on your face is enough.

About this time, you hear Derek’s voice growing in volume. The most you can make out is, “Put...down…!” And that’s when your blood runs ice cold.

You pat your right hip, hoping, praying, your weapon is magically there, even though you know it’s not. You put it in the safe when you got home last night. You didn’t have time to grab it before you ran out and drove to Hotch’s place. You left it there, in the safe, because you never think twice about it since it’s locked away.

But now…

“Don’t do this, man,” Derek yells. “Put. It. Down.”

“Where is she?” Your partner yells. “Tell me where she is!”

“I’m not telling you shit until you put the gun down,” Derek says, firmly. You’re frozen in place, on the floor next to Hotch’s desk as you listen.

“They have my gun,” you whisper to Hotch. “I didn’t think they— I don’t know how they knew the code, I change it every week, I thought—”

“Hey, hey, don’t worry,” Hotch shushes you. “You stay here. Do not move. Try to get under my desk if you can.” He pauses. “There’s an extra pistol underneath. I want you to grab it just in case.”

You nod, but then a memory of last night grips you. “No! You can’t go out there!” You hiss, gripping Hotch’s arm.

Outside, you hear Emily’s voice adding to Derek’s, trying to talk your partner down. It’s a scene out of a horror movie. Straight from your worst nightmare.

“They already feel threatened by you, they’ll just shoot you the second they see you.”

“Not when they already have five guns on them.”

“Let me come with you,” you offer.

“No. Absolutely not.”

“Aaron, I have eight years of experience talking them down. I know what I’m doing.”

Hotch doesn’t like that you’re right.

“Are you sure?” He asks.

You nod. You’re shaking all over, but you still nod.

“Okay. Crawl over and grab the pistol from my desk. Tuck it in your waistband, on your back. Go now.”

You stay low as you crawl over, finding the pistol strapped underneath his desk on the right side. Once it’s tucked in your waistband, you stand, facing the window. Hotch stands too, with his back to the blinds, and thank God they’re closed.

“Is she in there?” You hear your partner scream. “Is she with him?”

“Shit,” you mutter. “Shit, shit, shit, they’re gonna fucking kill me.” You hate that the possibility is very real. They have your gun. They could shoot you the second they see you. You’re not wearing any protective gear.

“No,” Hotch replies. “I’m not letting that happen.”

“Come out here, you lying bitch!”

Hotch looks ready to kill your partner himself.

“Babe?” You call out, putting on a false tone, the same one you always use when talking them down. “Babe, what are you doing here?”

You step into the doorway, feeling another frozen chill of fear shoot straight down your spine. They look crazed. Insane, even. Worse than you’ve ever seen, worse than last night, worse than the last eight years.

“Don’t babe me,” your partner seethes, but the gun is still trained on Derek.

You know it makes no sense, but you want them to turn the gun on you. Not Derek. Derek can’t be hurt because of you, not like this.

“Put the gun down,” you say, trying to stay calm and sweet, the way you usually have to be at home.

“I’m not listening to a damn thing you say,” your partner yells, and then the gun turns on you. “There he is.” The gun isn’t aimed at you. It’s on Aaron.

“Put it down,” Aaron’s level voice floats through the terror roaring in your ears. “I won’t ask again.” He shifts and you realize then that he has his own weapon trained on your partner.

“You won’t need to. Come out from behind my fiancé you coward.”

“She’s not your fiancé,” Hotch says. “And you won’t shoot her.”

“Want to bet on it?” Your partner lowers the gun slightly, now pointing it straight at your chest. Strangely, you don’t feel any panic surge through you. It’s telling. That even now, your head is telling you, they won’t hurt me, they never hurt me before.

“Don’t do it,” Derek yells. “I will shoot you, man. Don’t do it. You have six guns pointed at you right now. Do you really want to do this?”

The metal of Aaron’s pistol bites into your lower back when you shift on your heels. Your arms are frozen by your side, too afraid to reach for the gun.

“Put it down,” Rossi yells.

“You’ve got five seconds,” Derek adds. “Don’t make me get to one. Five. Four.”

Your partner’s fingers twitch on the trigger. Aaron catches the movement. Nods once when Derek says three. And on two, Derek pulls the trigger before your partner can do it first.

A broken scream rips from your chest when the bullet lodges itself in your partner’s side, your gun clattering to the ground. Derek steps forward and kicks the gun further away, out of reach.

Hotch lifts you around your waist and pulls you back into his office, kicking the door closed with his foot.

You’re numb to everything as he sits you down on the couch, wrapping his arms around you as you finally sob, letting out every scream that you’ve been holding in.

+++

Your partner is taken to the hospital to be treated for the gunshot wound.

Hotch tells you they won’t stand a chance at being acquitted, too many charges looming over their head already without the addition of domestic violence. You hardly hear his words, but you nod like you do.

He takes care of you while the commotion outside struggles to calm down. A blanket is wrapped around your shoulders, you hug a pillow to your chest, sniffling every few minutes as fresh tears cascade down your cheeks. Spencer brings you a mug of steaming tea that you barely manage to thank him for. Hotch thanks him properly for you before softly shutting his office door.

For months, you’ve been thinking about leaving them. For so long, you’ve wondered what life might be like without them. Now, you don’t know a thing.

You don’t know what to do. Where to go. Will you have to testify in court? If you do, will you have to talk about the...abuse? The abuse that you can barely bring yourself to label blatantly as abuse even though Aaron, your brain, everyone screams at you that that’s what it is — abusive behavior.

When you were a teenager, and even in your early twenties, learning about signs of abusive, unhealthy relationships, you never thought you’d end up in one. You thought surely you’d recognize the first signs and get out of there.

But instead, you did exactly what they said most people do. You brushed them off. You thought, oh, they just love me deeply, that’s all. They want what’s best for me, that’s all. They want me to be safe and protected, that’s all.

And that’s lovely, but there’s a difference. Between caring and controlling.

You never thought the difference would be so hard to see.

“Come on,” Aaron’s soft voice pierces through your thoughts. “Let’s get you out of here.”

You blink. “Where?”

“Wherever you want to go,” he replies gently. “Your apartment?”

Immediately, you shake your head. But then you pause. Because aside from your apartment and the BAU, you have nowhere else to go.

“Would you be comfortable going back to my apartment?” He asks. “I understand if it’s uncomfortable. I’m sure Garcia or Prentiss would be happy to let you stay with them, and I’ll gladly send them home with you.”

As much as you love Garcia and Prentiss, you strangely feel more comfortable with Aaron. After all, Pen and Emily don’t— or didn’t know about your partner’s behavior. Only Hotch knew.

“If you don’t mind, I’m...I’m okay with your place.”

“I don’t mind at all,” he smiles. “The guest room is yours for as long as you need.”

That makes you smile, though the expression feels foreign on your lips. “Don’t you have to stay?”

“It can be dealt with tomorrow,” he replies. “The paperwork will still exist tomorrow at eight a.m.”

“Okay,” you accept defeat. “Can I take this blanket?” You don’t like the idea of this weight leaving your shoulders.

“Of course,” he says.

You fall asleep in the car.

You didn’t mean to, but you were exhausted. And by the time you woke, Aaron had already carried you into his apartment. Startled, you gripped his arm a little too tight, but he shushed you carefully, letting you know you’re safe, he just didn’t want to wake you because you were sleeping so soundly.

He set you down on the guest bed where you tried and failed to get some rest last night, but now, you sleep like a baby.

+++

Months after the incident, the guest room at Aaron’s apartment has become your temporary home.

You still haven’t been back to the apartment you owned with your partner — even though their name is on the lease, not yours. You went once with Aaron to pick up your clothes and anything else important, but it was a quick trip. You were desperate to get out of there.

Aaron didn’t like what he saw. The broken glass, the dents in the walls. The way your body language changed immediately. Your unwillingness to return there is fine by him.

It’s a slow, uphill battle as you begin to heal. Your partner still sits in jail, awaiting their trial date. You know you might have to testify, but you know your team might have to be there as well, so that makes you feel better.

Aaron has been incredibly respectful of your space. You were the one who brought up the idea of carpooling to work, one of you driving every other day, to save on gas for the both of you. He had assumed you wanted to drive on your own and always have your car — which is true, but you didn’t mind riding with him.

He’s the only one your terrified brain doesn’t seem to be scared of.

And you’re not complaining. You’re grateful to feel a small ounce of safety after feeling every sense of unsafe for the past eight years.

+++

Your ex-partner’s trial comes and goes in the following three months. You did testify, along with the rest of your team, the verdict is guilty. Life in prison.

You wept on the steps of the courthouse from the sheer relief of it all.

“They’ll never hurt you again,” Aaron had told you and you didn’t believe him for one second.

Still now, as you know for a fact they are sitting in a prison cell, you have a small fear. But you think you always will.

You continue “rooming” with Aaron — that’s the best way you can think to put it — and you’ve come to really enjoy the weekends when Jack comes over. At the start, Aaron would try to take Jack out to the park to give you time alone, or you’d go spend some time with Penelope, but after a while, you started staying. And after a little while longer, Jack started warming up to you, and expecting your presence.

One weekend, you hear Jack and Aaron playing in the living room while you’re in Aaron’s office, trying to get some work done. And halfway through signing your name on a piece of paperwork, you hear Jack “whispering” to Aaron about you.

“Do you like her?” Jack whispers, but it definitely comes across as more of a soft shout.

Aaron’s eyes widen, and he presses his index finger to his lips. “A lot,” he says, but you don’t hear him — though you were straining pretty hard.

“Me too,” Jack giggles. “Is she your girlfriend?” He teases, poking his dad with his Lego sculpture.

Aaron pokes his son back with his own design. “No, buddy, she isn’t.” Again, you can’t hear him, but Jack’s question made your heart hammer in your chest.

You know you’ve had some feelings begin to develop because truthfully, they were blooming months ago, back when you began having dinner with Aaron. But then everything happened, and you still loved your ex, and things got too complicated.

Now, though, seven months out from the start of it all, the feelings are still there.

Aaron hasn’t made any moves, so you’ve kept silent. You don’t know how much of his good deeds are simply out of his own kindness. And you certainly don’t want to mistake it for something it’s not.

But kids pick up on things adults try hardest to hide.

You continue with your paperwork, listening to them continue to play.

It’s not until after Jack goes home to Hailey that his question is brought up, and it’s only because Aaron asked what was bothering you.

“It’s alright if you don’t want to talk about it,” he says. “But I’m here if you do.”

He’s always here. That’s what made you have a crush on him in the first place, years ago. He’s always there for anyone who needs him.

“I heard you and Jack earlier,” you start. “When he asked if I’m your girlfriend.”

Aaron sighs. “I’m sorry. I think it’s just confusing for him because to him, living together equals relationship since all he’s known is me and Hailey—”

“I’d like to be,” you interrupt his nervous rambling. “If that’s something you’d like, too.”

He blinks a few times, then smiles. “You…” He pauses. “Are you sure?”

“Aaron, I’ve liked you for so long and never said anything—”

“I’ve liked you for so long and never said anything,” he counters. “You’re serious?”

“Very,” you whisper.

When he kisses you, it’s what you’ve longed for all this time. It’s exactly what you’ve been yearning for. It’s exactly the kind of love you know now that you deserve.

Recovery has been messy, and will continue to be messy for some time, but you’ll have Aaron next to you every step of the way. Always.

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner one shot #aaron hotchner angst #aaron hotchner fluff #tw domestic violence #tw abuse #criminal minds #version of you song fic #criminal minds songfic #aaron hotchner songfic #version of you #hotch x fem!reader #hotch x reader #hotch x you

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whatifyoulivelikethat · 3 years

Text

heated, m | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: An (innocent?) conversation about D/s dynamics accidentally leads to you confessing that you think about your childhood best friend while getting off. To your childhood best friend, Jeon Jungkook. Erm. This is after he told you that you would be “an awful sub”, btw.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language, discussions about adult topics; reader is bisexual; smut (fem reader, dry humping, fingering, [tiny bit] m-receiving oral, penetrative sex); fluffy af; non-idol!AU; F2L; softdom!Jungkook x softbrat!reader; you kind of have a forearm kink and you never let Jungkook have his lovey-dovey moment, whoops

MMA 2020 ‘ON’ Jungkook? Yeah. That one.

“I could never be a sub.”

You clicked rapidly as you spoke, mashing the right button on your mouse. It was quite loud, paired with your mechanical keyboard.

“Why not?”

The music coming from Jeon Jungkook’s smartphone was a rhythm game, nearly as loud as you, since he was grunting angrily at it. It was very obvious when he missed a beat.

“I can’t imagine that being me, you know?”

You, on the other hand, were on your computer, playing with the new items in League of Legends from the latest patch. Using the practice tool, you had loaded up your favorite champion, Jhin, the Virtuoso, and messed with various builds, trying to find the best combination. So far, Lethality was feeling pretty good.

“Like why would I ever let my pleasure be handled by someone else?” you mused, reading the high damage numbers of each shot. Oh, the fourth shot felt nice. “That sounds stupid.”

Jungkook rolled over on your bed, growling in his throat as the level ended. He restarted it, trying to get a better score. “Maybe people like to let go sometimes. You know, not always be in control.”

You snorted. “I could never trust someone else with my body.”

“You got an alien body or something?”

“Shut up, Jungkook.”

“No.”

“Fine.”

“Anyway,” Jungkook continued, ignoring your outburst. “I didn’t ask if you could be a sub, I just asked what you thought of domination and submission as a dynamic in general.”

You shrugged, trying to see if you could do Baron alone. Welp, you needed lifesteal, of course. “I mean, I’ve tried it in various situations. I was never the sub.”

“Kinky.”

“Shut up, Jungkook.”

“No.” Jungkook suddenly sat up, excited that he achieved a higher score. “Look, look. I got ninety-eight.”

You craned your head to look at his phone screen. “Why isn’t it one hundred? You’re a disgrace to this family.”

He bopped you on the nose with his phone. “If I was part of your family, your family would be even more dysfunctional than it is now.”

You rubbed your nose and looked up at him. “How much gel did you use in your hair? You look like a wet dog.”

Jungkook’s eyebrows went up and he touched his long black hair. “It’s not crunchy though.” He grabbed your hand and lowered his head, placing your palm on his slicked back hair. “See?”

You pulled your hand back, staring at your palm. “Still feels weird though. I call sorcery.”

He shrugged, creaking the black leather jacket he was wearing. He wore a black t-shirt under it. The black jeans he had been wearing were on your bed, swapped for the black joggers he kept at your place. You weren’t really sure why he left the jacket on. Maybe he was cold or something. It was pretty cold in your apartment. You were wearing fleece green pajamas with Pikachu all over them.

“You want me to turn the heat up?” you said, gesturing to his jacket.

Jungkook looked down at his chest. “Eh. It’s fine. Saves you money.”

You shrugged, getting up from your chair, leaving the League client open. “You’re only staying a little while, right? Party to go to and all that?”

Jungkook followed you as you left your room. “Told you it was cancelled, so I was just going to sleep over. No reason to go back home.”

You turned around, walking backwards. “When did you say it was cancelled?”

Jungkook raised his dark eyebrows. “Literally when I walked in your apartment.”

“Hah.”

You turned back around and went to your fridge, grabbing an aloe juice. Jungkook went to your water kettle, hunting for hot chocolate among your tea packets.

“You’d make an awful sub anyway,” Jungkook said, returning to the original subject as he filled the kettle with water from your filtered sink faucet. “Like, probably the fucking worst.”

You took a large swig and glared at him. “Alright, first of all, you wouldn’t even–”

“You’re terrible with authority.”

You paused. “Okay, true.”

“You’re angry, twenty-four, seven.”

You walked up to him and slapped him in his very hard pecs. He gestured at his chest, as if to indicate, exhibit A.

“And you’re super uptight.”

“I am not uptight.”

“Control freak.”

“That’s–”

Jungkook turned around and placed the kettle on its stand. You swooped in with a Pikachu-themed kitchen towel and wiped the excess water away, scowling. Jungkook raised his eyebrows at you, brown eyes laughing.

“That’s literally a safety hazard!” you exclaimed, waving the towel at him.

Jungkook rolled his eyes and pressed the button to start heating the water. “Haven’t you ever just… not freaked out over every little thing? Done something spontaneous and stupid?”

You placed the kitchen towel back in its proper place. “No, because that would be spontaneous and stupid, Jeon Jungkook.”

He leaned against the counter, watching you perfectly fold the towel into three parts and hang it on the rail. He scratched his nose, shaking his head. “You should be more like me.”

“Having the police called on you because you were standing on a lawn chair tooting a party horn at four in the morning?”

“That was one time! Stop bringing it up,” Jungkook groaned.

You raised your hands in innocence. “Well, I was the one called to pick you up because you literally couldn’t remember any other number and I was very disturbed on New Year’s Eve, where I should have been peacefully sleeping and not hauling your drunk ass across town.”

Jungkook sighed exaggeratedly. “I’m sorry, okay? I won’t drink that much again. Jimin made me do shots–”

“You always blame Park Jimin,” you interjected, smiling. “Jimin’s the kind of guy who only wears clothes to take them off.”

“Well, it gets him laid, so I guess it’s working.”

The kettle whistled noisily, cutting through the conversation. You took a sip from your aloe juice as Jungkook grabbed a mug from your cupboard and poured the hot chocolate powder into it.

“You want some milk?”

He looked up. “You have milk?”

You went to the fridge and took out a small carton. “Because you said you were coming.”

“Aw, what a sweetie.”

“Shut up, Jungkook.”

“No.”

That’s how it was with you two. Growing up together was the same conversation over and over of you constantly saying shut up and Jungkook always replying with no. If both your dads hadn’t been such good friends, you probably wouldn’t have been able to tolerate him. Since they were, you were forced to, which turned out to be okay, since it turned out you had similar interests in games and such. It drifted apart a bit when you two entered high school, but you two reconnected once university started.

The dysfunctionality Jungkook was referring to was your two older sisters, who both got pregnant out of wedlock and thus caused a lot of tension between them, your parents, and you, the one who hadn’t actually done that yet. And you were trying to keep it that way.

Jungkook poured half-water and half-milk, stirring it with a silver spoon he found in your drawer. You lived alone, having gotten a full scholarship to be able to pay for tuition, meals, and part of a small apartment. Your parents paid for the rest – another point of strain between you and your sisters. That’s why you kept your grades up and rarely went out.

“When was the last time you fucked a guy?”

You sucked the inside of your cheek. “Dunno. Maybe two years ago.”

Jungkook raised his eyebrows and took a long sip. “So, only girls, huh?”

You tilted your head and sighed. “They don’t get you pregnant.”

“Neither does a condom.”

“That’s a ninety-eight percent chance, not one hundred.”

He licked the excess off his pink lips. He looked like he wanted to say something, but reconsidered, taking another sip before replying. “You don’t miss dick?”

“I mean, a dildo is a dick.”

Jungkook nearly spat out his hot chocolate. You snatched your Pikachu towel again and threatened him with it. He raised a hand, coughing.

“A dildo is not a dick,” he hacked out. “You insult me.”

“Hmph.” You turned back around and placed the Pikachu towel back in its place, making sure the graphic was perfectly centered.

“You tell your parents?”

You narrowed your eyes. ‘Why the fuck would I tell my parents that I fuck girls instead of guys to avoid getting pregnant?”

He shrugged. “Give them peace of mind?”

“You think too highly of the generation before us.”

Jungkook gave you a weird look. “So… you’re just using them?”

“No.” You paused. “Okay, maybe a little, but it’s not because they’re girls. I guess I haven’t found someone who understands me yet.”

He took a long, noisy sip of hot chocolate. You narrowed your eyes at him.

“No one can understand you if you only fuck once and drop them.”

“Wouldn’t you fucking know,” you replied irritably.

“Now, I fuck multiple times before I realize it’s not going to work out,” Jungkook countered.

You shoved your bottle of aloe juice back into your fridge. Suddenly, you weren’t thirsty anymore.

“Is that the only reason?”

You closed the fridge door.

“Reason for what?”

“Is fear of pregnancy the only reason you fuck girls?”

“I don’t know!” you shouted, throwing your hands up. You spun around, blowing hot air. “I don’t fucking know why I do it, Jungkook. I don’t know why I load up dating apps to only hook up with girls, I don’t know why I don’t try to get into relationships with them, I don’t know what is wrong with me and why I can’t give anyone a chance and I don’t know why you pop up in my head every time I try to fucking masturbate! It is annoying and I do not like it, so I try to get off with someone else!”

Your chest was heaving with exertion and annoyance, hand curled onto a fist and planted on your kitchen counter, glaring at the space past Jungkook’s head, muscle twitching in your cheek. Your heart was beating so fast it didn’t feel real.

Silence.

“Fuck you, Jungkook.”

And then you turned around, stalking back to your bedroom.

Or would have, if you didn’t hear the clink of the mug touching the kitchen counter and Jungkook grabbing your upper arm, yanking you back, slamming you against his muscular body. You hissed, staring into his chest.

“Let me go.”

“Hold on a second.” You watched Jungkook take a deep breath, his toned, tan skin rising and falling. The silver necklace on his collarbones flashed as he breathed. “Just hold on a damn second.”

Your eyes were on the low neckline of his black shirt. It felt weird being close to him. Not that you two haven’t been physically close, because you had. But it had never been like this. Since you realized he wouldn’t leave your mind every time you tried to masturbate. Since you started looking to other people to push him out. Since you were sure that it was not just a passing thought, not just your brain playing tricks on you. And being this close to him now, you understood.

And it scared you.

“You cannot dump all that on me and expect me not to react,” Jungkook said quietly.

“Shut up, Jungkook.”

“No,” he snapped. He grabbed both your upper arms and shook you violently, making you jerk your head up to blink at him. Jungkook furrowed his brows, his dark eyes glaring at you, jaw clenched tightly. “I will not shut up. Why should I shut up? I should shut you up.”

And then he kissed you.

Your eyes widened. Jungkook’s pink lips were on you. You. On your lips, pressed firmly against them, gripping you so tight you were losing feeling in your arms. You tore back, stumbling, touching your lips, shoulders shaking, not sure why your heart was beating out of your chest, not sure why your lips tingled and wanted more, not sure why Jungkook slowly opening his eyes and flickering to you made your knees knock together uncomfortably.

“What are you doing?” you sputtered. “You don’t even… what…?”

“I’m kissing you,” he growled, walking up to you and pinning you against the counter. “I’m fucking kissing you because you want me to.”

“I don’t…”

“Just shut up, please.”

And then Jungkook kissed you again, harder this time, pressing you against the kitchen counter, hands coming up and taking you by the waist, pulling you to him and his leather jacket, him and his black shirt, breathing your name into your lips, your hands grabbing his t-shirt and yanking him to you, gasping into his mouth. And you wanted to say, no, no, you weren’t supposed to know, but it was too late because you were shoving his leather jacket off, grasping his shoulders, fingers pressing into his hard muscles, sliding down his biceps.

You yanked your head back and his hand came up to grab it back, kissing you more, more, tongue licking your lips, hissing your name, grinding his hips against yours. Your hand came up in between you two, stopping him, stopping him and his insatiable lips.

“You have to s-say–” You moaned, feeling him harden against your fleece pajamas. “You have to say it.”

“Say what?” Jungkook muttered impatiently, kissing your hand, speaking into your palm.

“Say you’re okay with it,” you gritted out as he rolled his crotch into yours.

“Obviously I’m okay with it,” he grumbled. “Why else am I humping you in your kitchen?”

“You said I’m a c-control freak,” you groaned, throwing your head back as Jungkook slid his hands down to your ass and squeezed it, grinding against you.

“You are,” he grunted. “You can’t let go, you can’t enjoy yourself, you can’t even tell me you like me so I can fucking fuck you already, instead of me cancelling my parties so I can spend time laying on your bed and staring at you playing video games wondering when you’re going to fucking notice that I want to bang you.”

“What?” you replied breathlessly.

Jungkook rolled his eyes. “You’re so busy controlling your own life that you don’t even notice the people around you anymore.”

“What?” you repeated again as Jungkook hoisted you up by your ass and began to walk, forcing you to grab him by the shoulders and stare down his right arm, the fully tattooed one with flowers and script and the tiny circle with angry slits for eyes and a frown on the inside of his elbow, the one Jungkook said was for you and you had slapped him in the chest and told him to shut up.

“Let me take over for once,” he mumbled, placing his chin on your shoulder and nudging you with his head and his non-crispy but still not quite soft dark hair.

“You said I would be an awful sub.”

Jungkook dumped you on the bed, shooing you upwards. You didn’t move, frowning at him. He sighed dramatically.

“You would. You are,” he corrected, planting a hand on your chest and pushing you down, bouncing you against your Pikachu bedsheets. He sandwiched your arms at your sides and straddled your torso. The bed bowed far too low and you almost slid off. Hurriedly, you scooted upwards and Jungkook followed, unbothered.

“You said I’m terrible with authority.”

Jungkook wrestled your arms back down and pinned them with his strong thighs. “You are.”

“You said I’m angry, twenty-four, seven.”

He cocked his head, slowly unbuttoning your pajama shirt. “Still true.”

“And you said I’m uptight,” you added ruefully, pouting.

Jungkook shrugged, reaching in between his legs to unbutton he last few ones. “I’ll fuck it out of you.”

“Jungkook!”

“What?”

He paused, towering above you, eyebrow raised. His black hair curled around his ears, against his silver hoops and base of his neck. His dark eyes pierced down at you, tiny mole under his lips clearly visible from this position. You could see the bottom of his sharp chin, the black t-shirt clinging to his chest, the shape of his tan arms, one tattooed, one not, from below.

“Y-you’re pinching my right arm…”

Jungkook looked down, moving his left leg. “Sorry.”

You winced, pulling out your left arm to rub the other. He tapped your forearm impatiently with his finger.

“You’re ruining the moment,” he scolded.

“You ruined it by bruising me,” you shot back, backing up to your pillows on your elbows, grimacing as you soothed your arm.

“I’m going to bruise you more if you keep being a little brat,” Jungkook growled, following you on hands and knees, the neckline of his t-shirt hanging down, revealing way too much of his skin. Your eyes widened and you slipped, a white plush Poro bonking you in the head. He grabbed it and tossed it aside, the poor guy rolling on the floor.

“That’s very rude,” you muttered, but he was over your body now, breathing hard, staring down your now open shirt and the curve of your breasts into your black bra.

“Why do you get hotter every year?”

You raised an eyebrow. “I… don’t?”

Jungkook shoved the sides of your pajama shirt apart impatiently, reaching under your back and pinching the bra clasp, undoing it with one hand.

“Yes, you do,” he exhaled hotly. “Every year you get prettier and prettier and it pisses me off so much that I have to work out to look half as good as you.”

You felt your ears and cheeks get hot. “Well… you do look very, erm, good.”

“You’re very convincing,” Jungkook chuckled darkly, pushing your bra up and sucking in his lower lip as he revealed your hard, quivering nipples.

Your eyes shifted away from his hungry eyes. “I, uh… am very wet.”

A single, perfectly shaped eyebrow ticked. “Show me.”

“Um…”

He lifted himself off you, pointing down.

“Show me,” Jungkook commanded.

You tried to move your arms and found them tangled in your clothes. You frowned and shrugged out of your pajama shirt, chucking it and your bra aside, before gripping the waistband of your green fleece pants. You hesitated and looked back at Jungkook, who just flapped his hand downwards, giving you a neutral expression.

You puffed your cheeks and raised your hips, yanking your pants and panties down your thighs. You had to bend your legs a bit to fully take them off since Jungkook’s knees were on the outside of your thighs.

Now you were fully naked in front of your childhood best friend. And he was still fully clothed.

“Er, aren’t you going to–”

Jungkook cut you off. “You still haven’t shown me.”

You blinked at him. “What do you want me to do, become a fucking pretzel?”

Jungkook shrugged. “Any way you can prove to me you’re wet.”

You narrowed your eyes. “Fucking…” You bent your right leg and slid it up between his thighs, brushing against his sweatpants and feeling his hard-on for a hot second before you jammed your leg into your chest and lifted it out, pressing your thigh against your torso and raising your calf into the air. You turned your head to the left, letting out an exasperated huff.

“There. You see it?”

Shit, this position was embarrassing for some reason. You could feel cold air on your dripping pussy. Maybe he couldn’t see or something. You lifted your right arm to wrap around your thigh, pressing it down against your breasts since Jungkook wasn’t saying anything.

“That was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen in my life,” Jungkook breathed.

“Okay, going to put my leg do–”

You gasped, suddenly feeling Jungkook’s fingertips touch your heated core, smearing your juices around the lips, his hot breath against your ear as he touched you. You shuddered as he stroked your folds, your name on his lips, his lips kissing your ear.

“Had to touch you,” he whispered against your neck, tone desperate. “I’m sorry, I just had to touch that beautiful pussy, all wet and slopping for me.”

Your eyelids fluttered as his middle finger found your clit, pressing on it. “J-Jungkook… That’s my…”

He chuckled deep in his throat. “Yeah? That’s your what?”

Slow, lazy circles, pushing it around, moan leaving your lips. “My c-clit…”

“Want me to touch it?” Jungkook purred. “Want me to handle your pleasure?”

But he as already touching it, nursing the sensitive bundle of nerves and rousing your lust, igniting it and setting it on fire.

“Y-yes…”

He kissed down your neck, whispering softly, licking your collarbones. “You trust me? You trust me with this pretty, perfect, hot, sexy, fuckable body?”

You arched your neck, giving him more access as he ran his pink lips all over, rubbing your clit, mouth on your throat. Your whole body shook, hips rolling into his finger.

“Y-yes…”

His breath so electrifying that you could barely focus, barely speak as Jungkook’s other hand came up behind your head, long fingers burying into your hair, holding tight, so tight it almost hurt, teeth nipping at your skin.

“Want to mark you,” he mumbled. “Want to give you a big fat hickey you can’t explain, want to bruise you so bad you’ll be staring at it for weeks, thinking about my lips on you, remembering my teeth gave you that.”

He pressed another finger to your clit, increasing the pace, and all you could do was hiss out a yes, a burning yes, a pleading yes, please, Jungkook, whining as his teeth sank into the spot where your shoulder and neck connected, sucking hard, his tongue licking away the prickling pain. His hips rolled into your thigh, his hard cock pressing against you, straining against his pants.

Jungkook moaned into your skin, so hot, so intense, rubbing your aching clit faster, harder, more urgently. Sucking and humping your leg as the feeling of his teeth and his fingers overwhelmed you, one hand clutching his shirt and one hand curled into your sheets as your thighs shook, trying to close but unable to because Jungkook was so strong, so there, so overpowering that you could only lay there and take it, take it as his name poured out of you in a breathless wail, throwing your head back as you felt your pussy clench around nothing, your juices becoming slicker, thicker, the scent of your orgasm staining the air.

He shoved the two fingers inside you and unlatched his mouth, moaning with you as he felt you squeeze his fingers, pumping you in long, slow strokes, all the way to his knuckles. You whimpered, tightening your core and Jungkook moaned again, eyes closed, his hair in disarray as you fucked his hand, clamping your hands on his right forearm, gasping at the feel of his muscle. Pussy throbbing around his fingers, hips meeting his knuckles over and over.

His eyes opened, watching your fuck yourself with his hand, an almost bored expression on his features, but you didn’t care because you felt him flex his fingers and his arm, telling you to continue, telling you he liked it.

“I thought you were going to let me do it.” Jungkook’s voice was low, trying to stay even despite his shallow breathing. “Have to control everything, don’t you?”

You caught your lower lip in your teeth, eyes moving to his face, his handsome, angular face with his black hair curled around his forehead and his cocked eyebrow, smirk on his lips.

“I’m not in control,” you panted. “Your forearm is…”

Jungkook flexed it under your hand and you moaned pathetically, breath hitching.

His smirk grew wider.

“It’s getting you off touching it.”

You swallowed, close, so close and Jungkook was taunting you and for some reason you couldn’t tell him to shut up, because he kept tensing his arm and it was so fucking hot that you really were going to orgasm.

“Say it,” he purred, breathing your name. “Tell me you like my forearm.”

Your eyes shifted down to his arm in your hands, the tiny angry face tattoo in his inner elbow frowning at you.

“I fucking love it, Jungkook,” you gasped. “Fuck, I love your delicious, sexy-as-fuck forearms.”

He grinned and began to thrust his fingers into you, fast, so fast you couldn’t even fathom how he could be that fast like a fucking vibrator, sending torrents of pleasure through you and his arm was so hard and his skin so soft that your eyes rolled back into your head, moaning his name far too loud. Jungkook placed a hand over your mouth and you screamed into it, liquid gushing down your thighs, but he didn’t stop, he kept going until you felt it again, pussy throbbing, back-to-back, eyelids fluttering, nails digging into his arm as the crescendo slammed into you, taking your breath and senses away, lost only in the feeling of Jungkook’s secure presence above you.

He slowed, breathing hard. Gently, carefully pulling his fingers out of your pulsating pussy, gasping as he removed his hand. You vaguely heard Jungkook place his fingers in his mouth, sighing wantonly at your taste.

“You taste so good,” he whispered around his fingers. “Fuck, so sweet and thick and delicious.”

Your brain could not compute what the fuck was happening. Did Jungkook just give you three mind-blowing orgasms in a row after you exploded at him and admitted to thinking about him while masturbating?

Holy shit.

He pressed his face into your hair, inhaling your scent.

You swallowed thickly.

“Jungkook, do you, ah… want something too?” you asked quietly.

You heard him snicker. “If I take my clothes off, I’m going to want to put my dick in you.”

“… I’m cool with that.”

“I thought a dildo was the same as a dick?”

You cleared your throat. “Ah… Well, I didn’t think you’d want to put a dick in me.”

Jungkook laughed. “If I had five dicks, I’d put them all in you.”

“Erm… mathematically speaking, that doesn’t really work…”

“Shut up.”

Jungkook sat up, looking down at you with a smile. The same smile he always had, but a little different now, because he didn’t have to hide his attraction to you anymore.

“You really let me put it in you?”

You narrowed your eyes. “With a ninety-eight percent chance, only.”

His smile became mischievous. “That’s not one hundred percent.”

You puffed your cheeks.

“I’ll take the two percent chance for you and only you, Jungkook.”

He grinned and turned around, throwing himself to the end of the bed where his jeans were barely holding on. Fishing through the pockets, retrieving the foil packet from the back pocket. You blinked at him.

“How long has that been–”

Jungkook gave you a silencing look. “I bring a new one every time I come over, in hopes you become drunk enough to sit on my dick.”

You blinked at him. “What.” Not a question, just you stating it.

“Because you’re paranoid.”

You frowned. “I’m not–”

He launched himself over the bed and silenced you with a kiss, deep and longing. You leaned into it, breathing softly, tongue against his, pressing back against him. Jungkook drew back slowly, thumb on your cheek. Eyes looking into yours, careful and tender.

“I don’t want you to worry,” he said against your lips. “I’ll do anything you want. I know it’s not easy for you. I know you’re not ready for the million babies I want from you.”

“I can’t have a million babies. It’s not scientifically possible,” you interjected.

Jungkook narrowed his eyes. “Can you just let me have one romantic moment?”

“Erm, sorry.”

“You want me to have a damn vasectomy or something? Because I’ll fucking do it. That shit’s reversible.”

“No, that kind of requires more time and I’m pretty horny for your dick right now. Condom will do.”

He sighed, rolling his eyes. “You are a shitty sub.”

“I will do better after I’ve had the dick.”

Jungkook straightened and yanked his black t-shirt over his head. “No, you won’t.”

Your eyes roamed over his toned chest. Damn, he was ripped. Maybe he was insecure about you being hot or something, but you were certainly benefiting. “You never know?”

Jungkook sent you a pained look and pressed a hand to your chest, shoving you back into your bed. “I’ve known you way too long to believe those words coming out of your mouth.”

You were going to reply, but he ran his hand over your chest, inhaling sharply as he brushed against your nipples. He ran his fingers over them, squeezing a little. You whined, trying to get more, but Jungkook pressed his palm down on your breast, breathing hard.

“Listen, woman, I’m about to explode in my damn underwear. Stop sounding so sexy this instant.”

Your eyes found his, pupils blown wide, lips pursed, and jaw tight. Your lips parted a little, tongue peeking out, a soft moan of his name emitting from your throat. You saw a muscle in his eyebrow twitch. He looked like he wanted to throttle you, at least a little bit.

You grinned.

Jungkook narrowed his eyes.

“You are lucky you’re cute,” he muttered. “And lucky I want to be in this pussy more than I want to be alive.”

“Don’t you ne–”

Jungkook planted his hand on your mouth. “The only words I want to hear out of you are, “Fuck me harder” or my own name, you got that?” he snarled, pressing his hand into your face for emphasis.

You nodded quickly.

He sighed, almost in relief, and yanked his pants and underwear down, wincing. There was a large wet spot on his boxer briefs, strings of pre-cum clinging as he pushed it down his muscular thighs.

“You made me a giant mess,” he muttered, eyes flickering up to you. “What do you have to say?”

You blinked at him and gave him a thumbs up.

He grinned. “You do know how to listen.”

In truth, you couldn’t say anything because you were breathlessly staring at Jungkook’s thick cock, red head glistening with pre-cum, dripping everywhere. You slid down quickly, startling him, and wrapped your lips around the head, moaning as his strong taste invaded your mouth. He hissed, gritting his teeth as your tongue swiped around, licking his length all over, feeling the veins and contours, memorizing them.

“F-fuck,” he gasped. “You wanted to clean me up that bad?”

Your eyes traveled up his abs, his pecs, his neck, to his face, giving him your best imploring look. He smirked, placing a hand on your forehead, and gradually, with great effort, pulled out of your tight mouth. Tight because you sucked in your cheeks, not wanting to let him go, but Jungkook was stronger than you. You frowned, but he shooed you away.

“I allowed it this one time. Now back to your spot.”

You backed up, tsking as you watched him roll down the condom, groaning as it covered him.

“I’m actually glad I have this fucking condom,” Jungkook muttered, glaring at you.

You couldn’t say anything, so you spread your legs. His eyes dropped down and he bit his lower lip, crawling to you, grabbing your thighs. Placing himself right in front of your soaked entrance, staring down at your pussy as he guided himself, sinking into you.

“Holy fuck,” he gasped, squeezing his eyes shut.

You moaned, feeling Jungkook’s cock stretch you out, so different from a silicone dildo or multiple fingers, because it was Jeon Jungkook praying for air as you clenched around his length, his cries of pleasure as he rocked his hips into you. Those long nights with your vibrator and his Instagram open on your phone were incomparable to his cock molding to your walls, his hard hips finally hitting your thighs, all the way in, and it was so good that you throbbed around him, shuddering.

“J-Jungkook…” you pleaded.

“I know,” he panted, hands gripping your knees tight. “I know, but give me a second to appreciate this pussy, holy fuck.”

He jerked his cock inside you and you cried out, definitely crushing your sheets, but Pikachu had seen a lot by now and there was only going to be more.

Jungkook finally began to slide out and push back in, groaning, starting slow and deep because quite frankly he needed to last more than five seconds and your pussy was not letting up. You had too much control over your vaginal muscles and he was too into you to not be hugely turned on by it, shoving your legs up higher so he could go deeper, feel more of you surround him and massage his length.

“H-harder…” you whimpered. “Please, Jungkook, fuck me harder…”

And how could Jungkook say no to that? Begging so perfectly, with just the right amount of desperation, and you didn’t even know it was driving him insane, because he knew normally you were so wound up, always worrying about being perfect, always worrying about doing the right thing, but now you were unraveling on his cock as he bent down and put more force into it, pounded you harder, watching the ecstasy in your eyes, your mouth opening and tongue peeking out, hot breath in his face. Knuckles white as you clutched the sheets, pleasure radiating up his length as you came with a cry, his name, his name on those perfect lips, lips he always watched with envy, wondering who had them, wondering who was so lucky to capture them.

And now it was just him, just him and you, and his hips slapping into your hips, pussy nearly choking his cock, but it felt so good, so fucking euphoric as you fucked him back, raising your hips to meet his, loud, wet, and lewd, probably causing a ruckus next door. But neither of you cared, your names mixing together, your eyes staring to Jungkook’s piercing brown ones, hot pleasure radiating up your stomach, your chest, to your head and there was no one else.

No one else but Jungkook’s name tumbling out of your mouth as the wave soared into you, pussy spasming as you came again, unsure at what number it was, but it was the one Jungkook wasn’t prepared for and he groaned, smacking into you one last time before you felt his cock throb and pulse against your walls, spilling into the condom. You gasped at the feeling, clenching around him, his right hand reaching over to grasp yours and hold it tightly, intertwining your fingers.

“W-wow…” you whispered breathlessly. “Nice cock.”

Jungkook burst out laughing. “You’re unbelievable.” He reached down and gingerly felt around in your dripping folds, finding the end of the condom and pulling out carefully.

“Fuck. It’s so much,” he gulped, brows knitted in worry.

You waved a hand. “It’s fine. I finished my period yesterday. Likelihood of you getting me pregnant is pretty low.”

Jungkook jerked his head towards you.

“Why the fuck didn’t you say that sooner?” he roared, slapping your leg. “I was scared shitless over here!”

You placed your hands over your ears. “So loud. Shut up, Jungkook.”

“No!”

masterpost

#jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jeon jungkook x you #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook smut #bts smut

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m00nchild-02 · 3 years

Text

Daisies | jjk (m)

pairing: jungkook x reader

rating: 18+

word count: 7.2k

genre: strangers to lovers, flower boy au, smut, fluff

summary: As a college student desperately looking for a part time job to earn some money you bump into the opportunity to work at a cute little flower shop nearby. Never did you ever think you would fall in love with the owner’s handsome son, Jeon Jungkook.

warnings: smut, oral sex (f receiving), teasing, praising, dirty talk, penetrative sex (Never forget to wrap that willy first before using it kiddos), fingering, very soft dom Jungkook (He’s a real gentleman in this story :’))

a/n: Hello, hello! This is your favourite autor here! This is my first story on Tumblr here (I’ve made stories on Wattpad before so I’m familiar with writing ffs) I hope you love my first jjk one shot on here and give it a lot of support.

enjoy reading!

masterlist

“Please Mrs Oh! I really need this job. If you want I can even come work at Sunday’s and Saturday’s!” You pleaded the woman in front of you, hoping she would give you another chance. After looking for a job for a good two months you finally found one at a local cafe but today it seems like you really fucked up.

“I’m sorry y/n but it has already been the 5th glass these past weeks and the second plate you’ve dropped just now. I know you’re a nice girl and have good intentions but a job as waitress just doesn't seem to fit you.” She explained to you. You sighed and looked down. She’s right. You’re not one of the handiest and you have dropped some stuff on the ground before. Maybe a job as waitress indeed didn't fit you that well. You took off your apron and gave it to Mrs Oh. “Sorry for the glasses and the plates..” You said softly, taking your defeat.

“I’ll pay you at the end of the week and I’ll give you some extra so you'll be able pay your rent this month.” You nodded. “Thank you, Mrs Oh.” You said as you bow at the older lady. “I hope you find another job soon.” She said.

You nodded and smiled at her before you walked towards the entrance of the cafe. “Me too Mrs Oh. Me too...”

And just like 3 weeks ago you started looking for a job again. You really needed a part time job. Your parents promised to pay your first year of rent when you went to college but you both agreed you would pay rent the remaining years following after. You had been in college for already two years, your third year starting next month. The first year you had to pay your own rent went very well. Your mom helped you to find a decent and well paid job at a bakery. But sadly the bakery went bankrupt two months ago so that’s why you were in desperate need of finding a new job. Then you found the sweet lady Mrs Oh but again you had to get fired. Not this time because of a bankruptcy but because you’re too clumsy when it comes to fragile stuff.

A week passed by and you still had nothing. You went to local stores, supermarkets, bakeries, butcheries, ... But no one seemed to need a part timer at the moment.

As you were making your way through the streets you decided to go take a break from searching and go for a drink at the old cafe you still worked at a week ago.

“If it isn’t our y/n!” Mrs Oh said as she walked over towards your table. “How are you girl? Already found something new?” She asked. You shook your head. “Not yet, but I’m looking.” You answered. “Aigoo,” She said. “I hope you’ll find something soon. You’re such a sweet girl. Now, what can I get you?”

“A latte, please.” You answered her. “A latte coming right up!” She said before disappearing to get some other orders and then go make your drink.

After a few minutes she came back with your drink. “Here you go sweetie.” She said as she placed the hot latte in front of you. “Thank you.” She didn’t go away when you thanked her. Instead she went to sit down opposite you. “I would like to help you y/n. I know you’ve only worked here for two/three weeks but you’re a good person and you deserve to be helped.” She said. Then she took out a card and slide it over the table towards you. “Jeon’s Greenhouse..” You read aloud. “A flower shop?” You asked her. She nodded. “I know the owner, Mrs Jeon. She’s a nice woman but lately she get’s a lot of requests for bouquets and other stuff. I’m sure she could use some help. Maybe you could go check there?”

You looked at the card in your hands, nervously fiddling with the edges. A flower shop. It didn’t sound that bad. And from looking at the address it’s also pretty close to where you live. Maybe you could give it a shot yeah. “Thank you so much Mrs Oh. I’ll never forget your kindness.” You said as she smiled at you. “You’re welcome sweetie.” She said as she stood up and went back to work.

Once you finished your latte you wanted to pay but Mrs Oh refused to take your money, saying it’s on the house. You thanked her again for everything before going back home to your apartment. Once there you took the little card out of your pocket and looked at it again. There was also a phone number and email written on the back. “I’ll call tomorrow and see how it goes.” You told yourself. Today had been a long day and you sure needed some rest after looking for a job all day.

The next day you found yourself in front of the cute little flower shop. Jeon’s Greenhouse. You called the owner this morning and like Mrs Oh said, she was a really nice woman. She invited you over immediately after talking a bit on the phone, wanting to meet you in person. And so you ended up here in front of her flower shop.

You walked in, a little bell ringing as you opened the door. You walked passed the many flowers and bouquets before ending up at the counter of the shop. A few daisies put in a vase next to the till. You softy brushed your fingertips over the small flowers. “They’re beautiful aren't they?” You looked up as a voice spoke. A middle aged woman standing in the doorway behind the counter, giving you a sweet smile. You smiled back at her. “Yes, they are.”

“In a few weeks they’ll be everywhere in the fields on the country side. It’s beautiful to go watch and take some pictures there.” She said as she walked closer. “You must be y/n, right?” She asked. You nodded. “Nice to meet you y/n. My name is Mrs Jeon but feel free to call me whatever you want. Eomma, Ahjuma, ...” She said, shaking your hand. “It’s nice to meet you too Mrs Jeon.” You answered.

“So, I heard from Mrs Oh you’re looking for a part time job?” She asked. You nodded. “I am. I worked for Mrs Oh before at the cafe but the job didn’t really fit me.” You said thinking back at your little failures there. Mrs Jeon nodded. “I see.. Well flowers should be no problem. Can’t break that easy if you drop them.” She said, giving you a playful wink. “Just watch out with the pots then.” You laughed. “I will.”

“So, when will you be able to start?” She suddenly asked. “S-Start? Like in, I got the job?!” You asked surprised. She nodded, smiling brightly. “I can't see why not. I could really use some extra pair of hands here and you need the money so why not? And as far as I’ve seen and heard you’re a nice girl. I would love for you to work here.” She said. You smiled and went in for a hug. “Oh, thank you Mrs Jeon! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you so much!” You said. The woman laughing while hugging you back. “Haha, you’re welcome my child. Anything to help a girl in need.”

“Now, I’ll need you on Mondays, Thursdays and Friday, if that’s alright?” She asked and you nodded. “And btw, do you know anything about flowers?” She asked. “Not really..” You answered as you nervously rubbed the back of your neck. “But I’m always willing to learn.” You said, hoping she wouldn't change her mind of hiring you just because your lack of knowledge about flowers.

“Good,” She said. “Tomorrow is Friday. You can start then if you want. My son will be here too. He always helps me out and Fridays and sometimes also in the weekend. You should meet him and he can also learn you a bit about the flowers here in the shop.” She said. You nodded, listening to everything Mrs Jeon had to say. She told you already a bit about the shop and the flowers and what kind of work you will be doing and about her son.

His name is Jungkook and he is 2 years older then you. Mrs Jeon wouldn't be at the shop tomorrow so her son will be giving you tasks and the knowledge about flowers that you need to know. He’ll also help you fill in the papers for the job, she said.

After a long but nice talk with Mrs Jeon it was finally time for you to go back home to get some rest so you would be fresh and well for your first day at your new job. You were already looking forward to it.

The next morning, just like promised, you walked into the flower shop. Ready to start your first day. You looked at the many beautiful flowers, standing still in front of the roses. They looked so good. Mrs Jeon must take really good care of all these, you thought. You walked a bit further and took a flower out of a water pot, smelling it. “They smell good don’t they?” You quickly turned around as the unknown voice spoke. You looked at the man in front of you with big eyes, the flower clamped between your fingers. The man laughed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” He said softly. “My name is Jungkook. I’m Mrs Jeon’s son.” He said afterwards, making you feel a bit at ease again.

So this was Jungkook. He was pretty handsome for his age, you must admit. Dark brown wavy hair, matching brown eyes. He was slightly bigger then you. He was wearing a white shirt, black pants and a grey apron with leather brown straps. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up exposing his strong arms. He must have been working out to get all those muscles.

You looked back at his face and he gave you a sweet smile. “You must be y/n right?” He asked and you nodded. “Y-yeah, I am.” You answered. His smile widened more at your answer. He had such a beautiful smile. It gave you a warm and welcoming feeling. Just like with his mother. “My mom told me your knowledge about flowers is still lagging a bit. Let’s go fix that first and then you can go to work.” He said.”I’m looking forward to work with you y/n.” He said, smiling one more time before turning around and walking towards the back of the shop. He suddenly stopped and turned back around as he stood there in the door opening. “By the way,” He said. “that flower you’re holding right now is called a white jasmine. They have a really sweet alluring smell. You should smell them in the evening, then they smell the best.” He smiled. You put the flower back in his pot and then followed Jungkook towards the back of the shop. His smile making you smile too without you knowing. Behind the doorway there was a whole studio dedicated to making flower pieces, bouquets and so much more. Just like the front of the shop, this room was filled with flowers in pots.

“Do you like flowers y/n?” Jungkook suddenly asked. “I love plants.” You answered him. “I mean, flowers are nice. I don’t really got a special connection with them but it’s always nice to get some from the people you love and care about.” You told him.

He walked towards the flowers, stocked in water pots and then returned towards you. He gave you one flower. “Here” He said. You took the flower and looked at him confused. “Well- Thank you?” He chuckled at your response, thinking it was cute. “Every flower has its meaning. This one is a yellow rose. It’s a symbol of friendship. I hope we’ll work together well and become great friends y/n.” The boy said smiling. You smiled back at him at his sweet gesture. A yellow rose... No one has even given you roses before. It made you even blush a bit, only thinking about the thought of receiving one right now.

“Now,” Jungkook said, breaking your thoughts. “Let’s get to work shall we?” He asked and you nodded as he walked over towards the flowers, you following behind him. Today he learned you the names of a few flowers. He learned you what colours and smells fit the best together in a bouquet. You even made one together as an example. He also told you a bit about the history of the shop and about his family. To make the work a bit more fun.

He told you about the first part timer his mom hired one time and how bad he was at this. Always breaking the stems of the flowers or giving them too much water. He also told a bit about his youth and his little sister. He talked about his friends, the school band they had together. He even promised you he would take you with him one day to one of their practices so you could hear him singing.

You had such a great time with Jungkook. Listening to his stories, laughing together and getting to know each other. You were so caught up in it that you didn’t realise it was almost time to go home and say goodbye. “I hope you enjoyed today y/n.” Jungkook said as you were both standing at the counter. You aprons already hanging onto the hooks. “I really did Jungkook. Thanks for today and also a thank you for your mom to giving me this opportunity.” You said. Jungkook smiled. “You’re more then welcome y/n. Oh! before i forget. Mom told me the papers should be somewhere here.” He said as he went behind the counter to grab the papers out of a shelf. “Here they are.” He placed them onto the table with a pen. “So here is the money you will receive every month, They days you will work and here you can sign the paper.” He said, pointing out the things on the paper before handing over the pen. You signed the paper and gave then pen back. “So now you’re all set!” He said, taking the papers and putting them back in the shelf. “I’ll see you back next Friday y/n.” He said, giving you a smile. “See you next Friday Jungkook.” You said. You walked towards the front door as suddenly Jungkook shout out your name. “Y/n wait!” You turned around as the boy run over to you. “You almost forgot this.” He said, handing you the yellow rose he gave you earlier. You probably left it at the back of the shop. As he gave you back the rose your fingers slightly brushed. “Thank you Jungkook.” You answered. “Just call me kook or kookie, y/n. No need to be so formal.” He said. You nodded. “Ok. Goodnight kookie!” You said as you walked out. “Goodnight y/n-ah” He said in response. Little did you know how good he felt at you giving him that little nickname and how he was already slowly falling in love with you. And that after only knowing you for a day.

The next days in the flower shop you learned a lot. Mrs Jeon taught you some more stuff that Jungkook hadn’t and also gave you some tips and tricks. In no time you had to knowledge and techniques you needed. Sometimes Mrs Jeon would even leave the shop only to you, to go meet up with some costumers or bring some flowers for festivities. That’s how much she trusted you after working there for a few weeks. And about Jungkook? You guys became great friends and colleagues. Every passing week you became more and more comfortable around the boy. Sometimes you even fooled around with each other just like today...

“Jeon Jungkook! Where did you hide my scissors this time?” You said, the boy acting all clueless and innocent. But you learned to look past that innocent bunny like face after a while. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I have nothing.” He said, betrayed himself by turning around towards the flowers, the scissors poking out of the pockets of his pants. You went to grab them but he quickly turned around, just on time to dodge your hand trying to grab it. “Not so fast princess.” He said, giving you a smirk.

“Yah! Just give me my scissors back!” You yelled at him, trying to grab it but he always seemed to know your moves and turned to opposite way so you couldn't grab them. You were practically almost hugging the boy as you were trying to get your scissors back. He suddenly grabbed them out of his pocket and held them up high as you almost caught them out of his pants this time. You jumped towards his hand and he laughed as you couldn’t reach them. Every time you jumped and tried to grab them he took a step back so you couldn't get them until he bumped against the work table, not able to move another step backwards. As you made a last jump for it and finally got them your noses slightly brushed when you came back down. Your faces were now just one breath away. You looked at him in shock, the scissors falling onto the ground. He looked back at you, as shocked as you were. He looked so beautiful from up close. Just like an angel.

Not only your friendship for each other grow in these past weeks but also something else... Little by little you seemed to catch feelings for the sweet boy. Always when you goofed around together or you would laugh together or he would pull some shit on you like he did to you now you would feel some kind of way towards him afterwards. He made your heart raise, your cheeks turning pink, making you lost of words sometimes. It took you a while before you figured out you were actually developing feelings towards him. And now seeing him up close... Oh god.

You broke the awkward atmosphere between you two by coughing and taking a step back. “I’m sorry for that.” “It’s ok.” He almost immediately answered afterwards. You both squat down the grab the scissors, bumping your head in the process. “Sorry!” You both said simultaneously, chuckling awkwardly afterwards before standing back up. You both felt the atmosphere was a bit awkward right now but you just ignored it and went back to work. Jungkook working on decorating a flower blanket and you working on a few bouquets to put into the front of the shop.

“Mom asked me if I wanted to go visit the flower fields this Saturday.” Jungkook said, breaking the silence. “I... I was wondering if you maybe... wanted to join me?” You turned towards him but he didn't look back, his eyes fixed on his work. You admired him for a bit as he just stared at the flowers, not doing anything. Just staring. Did he really just asked you to go do something out of the shop? Together? He suddenly turned towards you, making you look away.

Why is she always so cute. Jungkook thought while looking at you quickly looking away, your cheeks turning a light pink. He knew you were checking him out and he knew a while ago you were feeling as nervous as he did when your noses accidentally brushed. How hard it was for him to not pull you closer and kiss those pretty lips of yours right there and then. Since a few days ago, well- actually the first day he met you, he knew there was something about you. Already from that first day he felt awfully comfortable around you. Later on the boy caught himself staring more at you, always smiling when he was around you every passing day. Slowly he started developing feelings for you. And he knew it all to well.

You really walked into this shop and stole a piece of his heart. That part only growing bigger and bigger every day until it would swallow his heart completely. When his mom asked him to go take some pictures of the daisies this weekend to hang in the shop he didn’t hesitate to go ask you to join him. It would be your first time together outside the shop and work hours. He really looked forward to it and was really hoping for you to say yes and join him. You could maybe even make a date out of it, he thought for a moment.

“So what do you say?” Jungkook asked again. You turned towards him and nodded, giving him a sweet smile. “I would love to go with you take some pictures of the flower fields Jungkook.” You answered him, looking how his smile grow bigger. “Great.” He said, getting all hyper and giddy, not trying to show it much. He has this kind of sparkle in his eyes he gets when he is really excited for something, betraying him a bit. You loved to see him happy and would do anything to keep it that way.

“I’ll pick you up Saturday afternoon then.” They boy said, standing next to you. “I’ll send you my address.” You answered him before you both went back to work the biggest smile showing on both of your faces. You couldn't wait long enough for Saturday to come.

A night and a few hours later and you guys were already making your way towards the countryside. Away from the busy city. You looked out of the window of Jungkook’s car, watching the tall buildings change into high trees and the many busy people into empty, far reaching fields.

“Wah, It’s so nice to finally be out of that busy, stressful place for once and go find some peace into nature.” You said.

Jungkook smiled at seeing you so happy and relaxed. It made him feel at ease. He was happy to take you away out of your busy life for once. So you finally could forget about all your worries for a while. Today would be just about you and him. No one else. “I hope you’ll like it. You really never went to the country side at the end of summer to watch the last flower fields bloom?” He asked and you shook your head. “I haven't. But i bet it’s beautiful. And I’m sure it will be even more fun with you there too.” You said, giving him a soft smile before looking back outside. He smiled at you, concentrating on the road and sometimes taking a glance at your face.

When you finally arrived at your destination, a little cute village with even still a few traditional old Korean houses, you got out of the car. The sun shining brightly onto your skin. As you walked through a few streets of the village Jungkook lightly brushed his hand against yours before grabbing it and holding onto it. You looked at your intertwined hands and bite your lip, blushing a bit. You looked up at him as Jungkook just looked in front of him. Admiring the small but beautiful houses around him. You smiled before looking away, also admiring the cute little houses. “It must be so nice to live here.” You said. “Away from all the noise and stress, cars that are always honking, people yelling at each other on the streets. How much I would give to live in a place like this.”

“You would love to live on the countryside?” Jungkook asked and you nodded. Smiling at only thought of living here. In the quiet peaceful village. Every morning waking up with the sound of birds chirping, leaves rustling and the sun lightly shining through the curtains warm on your skin. How good that would be... Before you knew it you arrived at the end of the village and at the start of a giant field covered with daisies.

You looked at it with wondering eyes, your hand slipping out of Jungkook’s as you went to take a closer look at the flowers. Jungkook went to stand behind you. He hesitated at first, wondering if it maybe was a bit to early but eventually ended up doing it. He softly wrapped his arms around your waist, his chin resting onto your shoulder. “You like it?” He asked as you both watched the sun set behind the field. “I love it.” You answered, leaning back in his embrace. You guys hugged before but never had Jungkook hugged you like this. And it made you weirdly feel awfully comfortable. Like you could stay forever in his arms.

After a few minutes he unwrapped his arms from around you to take his camera out and take the pictures his mother asked for. Sometimes he would even take some pictures of you without you knowing. He took a few of you just admiring the flowers and from you picking a few out. You said you wanted to try to make a flower crown with it.

A while later as the sun was still going down, you sat down in the middle of another field filled with high grass and some wild flowers. You trying to make a flower crown and Jungkook admiring you, now and then making some small talk with you or laughing at your cute behaviour. He loved how your hair would softly move as the wind blew through it or how you would bite your lip when you were concentrating on putting the flowers together nicely. His heart was melting at seeing you. From that moment on he knew he was completely yours.

Once you finished the flower crown you carefully put it onto Jungkook’s head. “How do I look?” He asked. “Like a beautiful flower boy.” You said, giggling. Jungkook laughed with you, a flower falling off of the crown. “It’s not as tight as I thought it was..” You said as you picked up the flower and tried to put it back onto the crown. You leaned a bit closer as you concentrated on trying to get it back in. Jungkook grabbed your hand and pushed it back down. You looked at him confused as he took the small flower out of your hand. With his free hand he brushed some hair out of your face before putting the flower behind your ear. “There..” He said, smiling as the flower held its place. He looked into your eyes and smiled. You smiled back at him. You didn’t realise, while you were smiling at each other you were also slightly leaning into each other. Jungkook changed his gaze from staring into your eyes towards staring at your lips. How bad he wanted to feel them against his. “Y/n,” He suddenly spoke. “Yes, Jungkook?” You asked, not leaning back but staying as close as possible to him. “Can I... Can I kiss you?” The boy asked nervously, licking his lips, hoping you would let him. You nodded softly and Jungkook took this as a sign, leaning in closer and connecting his lips with yours.

You leaned into his touch, kissing him back lightly. Jungkook’s hand went from next to him towards your face. His thumb softly caressing your cheek as he carefully moved his lips against yours. His heart was beating like crazy. He looked so forward towards this exact moment. The moment you would choose him, like his heart chose you.

He broke this after a while, his forehead leaning against yours, eyes still closed. Both of his hand fell onto your lap. You took his hands in yours and finally opened your eyes, meeting his brown ones. You smiled at him before leaning in for another kiss. This time you wrapped your arms around his neck while Jungkook sneaked his around your hips. He suddenly pulled you closer, making you gasp as you landed onto his lap. You looked down at him as he smiled up at you, giving you that boyish playful grin. “So does this mean you’re mine now?” He asked as he looked up at you, keeping you close. You laughed at his cockiness. “Only if it makes you mine too.” You answered. He grinned. “I was already yours from the first day we met.” He answered softly, before pulling you down again for one last kiss.

After your little moment in the fields you went back to the village, walking happily hand in hand as you strolled through the cute evening market. You stopped at a stand that sold some self made products. Things like soap, body scrubs, perfume, ... While you were choosing some products to buy for yourself you didn't notice Jungkook slipping away and buying something at the flower stand behind you. As you turned around Jungkook stood there with a red rose in his hand. “Previous time, I gave you a yellow rose for the start of a beautiful friendship. I never thought it would turn out this way but I’m glad it did. And so I want to give you this red rose this time as a start of or love for each other.” He said, before giving you the rose. You smelled it before looking up at him, smiling brightly. “It’s perfect.” You said before taking a step forward and hugging the boy. He didn't hesitate to immediately hug you back, leaving a soft kiss at the top of your head. “I love you y/n.” He whispered. Where you on answered. “I love you too, my kookie.” He chuckled at you calling out his nickname. From the first day until now it made him feel things and he loved it.

“What would you say of making from this beautiful day an even more beautiful night?” He whispered in your ear, making you look up at him, your arms still wrapped around each other. “What do you mean?” You asked him. He smiled, playing with a strand of your hair. “What do you think of continuing this date at my house?” He asked. “We got the house all to ourselves tonight. My mom and dad are out of town for the night.”

You looked around you for a bit thinking if this wasn’t a bit too fast for a first date but does it really matter when you love someone that badly and know you would want to spend the rest of your live with him? “Let’s go to your house then.” You said, raising a brow and giving him a smirk. He licked his lips as he looked you up and down. “You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into.” He said, a seductive smirk playing on his lips before he smacked your ass and walked towards the car.

When you arrived at his home it was like you couldn't get inside fast enough. Jungkook had you pressed against the door, kissing you hungry as he tried to get the keys into the small opening. When he finally managed to open the door he opened it and pushed you inside, breaking the kiss for a second the close the door, before pushing you back against it, his lips crashing onto yours again. Shoes and socks were thrown off almost immediately as you were both so hungry for each other. A small moan left your lips as Jungkook pushed his tongue past your lips, discovering your mouth as he pushed his body closer against yours. You placed your hands onto his sides, slightly tilting his shirt up. Jungkook got the hint and broke the kiss for a second taking off his shirt and revealing his toned, strong body. You caressed his naked chest as Jungkook kissed you again, a groan leaving his mouth. He took a few steps backwards, pulling you with him until you guys reached the cough. He sat down onto it, pulling you on top. He reached for your shirt, pulling it over your head, unclasping your bra afterwards and throwing it away somewhere in the dark room. Jungkook admired you for a second, trying to enjoy this moment as much as possible. “You’re so beautiful y/n..” He murmured under his breath. “So beautiful and all mine.”

You leaned down and started kissing him again, his hands first on your sides but not for that long as you already felt them moving up towards your breasts.

His lips went from your mouth towards your cheek, your jawline, your neck and your shoulder. Making sure no part of skin is left out. You grind onto him as he peppers your skin with kisses, one hand grouping at your breast in the meanwhile. As his kisses got lower you felt yourself becoming very aroused and wet down there, making you grind harder onto him as he finally took one of your nipples into his mouth. You could already feel him getting hard as he sucked and played with is tongue around your nipple. “Fuck kookie-” You cried out, your hands buried into his soft brown locks. He unlocked his mouth from around your nipple for a second. “Say that again sweetheart. Who’s making you feel this good?” He asked you, his hips grinding up against your core, making you moan. “Y-you, Jungkook.” You answered him. He smiled at you, licking his wet lips before attaching his mouth this time on the other nipple.

You gasped as he suddenly picked you up and carried you out of the living room, up the stairs. “ Let’s take this upstairs, shall we?” He said before kissing you again, carrying you upstairs, towards his room. Once inside, the door closed, he placed you down on the bed carefully before crawling on top, never breaking the kiss. Your arms pulled his face closer, his body getting closer as well, his now full erection, poking through his pants and grinding against your already wet core. Jungkook broke the kiss and sat up between your legs. He smiled at you, breathing heavily from all the kissing, before unbuttoning your pants and sliding them down with your panties, leaving you completely exposed in front of him. Once he managed to get off your pants and drop them on the floor he admired your body again, making sure he has seen every little bit of it. “My beautiful princess.” He said as he softly started caressing your inner thighs. He looked down at your core for a second, noticing how wet you already are for him, it made his cock twitch in his pants, knowing he was the one having this effect on you. “Before I do something else to you, I wanna taste that sweet pussy down there first.” He said seductively. He looked at you one last time before leaning down and starting to kiss your thighs. He always started at one knee and then made his way downwards. He made sure he wasn’t going to fast, making you whimper beneath him as he savoured this moment. “Already whining and whimpering. You’re so sensitive love, so... sweet.” He said before dipping his tongue between your folds, licking up in one smooth stroke. You buckled your hips up at the sensation. Oh god, how good his mouth felt onto your dripping pussy. You immediately wanted more. He looked up at you, making sure you guys made eye contact before planting his mouth onto your core again. You whimpered, biting your lip as you gripped onto the sheets. Jungkook concentrated himself on his work, lapping you out at a steady pace. Sometimes he would moan, sending shivers down your spine and making your core pulsate.

Before you knew it he was sucking and flicking his tongue onto your clit. Your moans got louder as you felt your first orgasm coming near. If his mouth already wasn’t enough, he also added two fingers, pushing them inside of your tight hole, stretching you out and rubbing at all the right places as he kept assaulting your clit with his mouth. You clenched around his fingers. “I can feel you’re close. Come for me princess. Make me taste your delicious fluids.” He said as he kept his steady pace, making you cum in no time.

He took his fingers out of your core and slowly started to lap up your juices that were leaking out of your cunt. You shivered as he lapped you out, still sensitive from your orgasm. Once he was done he looked back up from between your legs, his lips wet and glistening from eating you out. “You taste so good love.” He said, pushing himself back up before leaning back over you and kissing you, making you taste yourself. While his tongue played with yours in his mouth he unbuckled his pants and pushed them off, leaving him only in boxers. He parted from your lips for a moment and leaned over towards his nightstand, opening the drawer and taking out a condom. He placed the condom between his teeth as he sat up to take his boxers down. But before he could do that he let out a moan as you were softly caressing the shape of his dick through his boxers. You bite your lip as you looked at it. only of seeing the shape through his trousers you knew he was big. He took your hand that was caressing over his dick and lead it towards the edge of his boxers. You placed your other hand on the other side and slowly started to slide it down until his member sprung free, standing tall and proud.

You licked your lips as you looked back up at him. He smirked, the condom still between his teeth. He took the condom out of his mouth. “Like what you see?” He asked and you laughed, nodding. “I love what I see.” You answered, sitting up and leaning close towards him, your lips ghosting over his, early touching. You gave him a seductive stare while taking the condom out of his hand and opening it. He kept staring at your lips as he suddenly felt one of your hands wrapping around his dick. He let out a soft, low moan as you started to stroke it. As you picked up the pace he couldn't hold it any more and leaned in closer, kissing you hungrily.

He pushed you back onto the mattress before getting up again, taking the condom out of your hands and rolling it over his length. “Ready for a second orgasm?” He asked, hovering over you again, one hand holding his dick and teasing your entrance with the tip. You whined as you pushed your hips up a bit, wanting him fill you up already. “I love it when your body is begging for me.” He said lowly, his lips ghosting over your neck. “Let’s give it what it wants then.” He said, before pushing in. He slowly slide inside until he was completely bottomed out. You let out a moan, satisfied of having him finally inside you, of having him fill you up completely.

Jungkook peppered your neck and shoulder with soft kisses while he let you adjust to his size. Now and then giving you little compliments, about how beautiful he thinks you are, how happy he is to have you, how tight you are and how you take him so well. “So good for me princess.” He said, peeking your lips this time.

“You can move now.” You told him when you finally felt like you had adjusted to his size. He nodded and softly started to slide out of you again before thrusting back in. And damn... It felt so good. While Jungkook kept a slow but steady pace you wrapped your arms around him, your hands clamping onto his back and shoulders. “Faster” You told him after a while and he did what you asked. He took up the pace a bit, moans rolling out of both of your mouths as you made love to each other for the first time. It was amazing. Both breathing heavily, hearts beating fast, heads leaned against each other as Jungkook kept thrusting into you. He kissed your full swollen lips again as he speed up some more. When he was at his highest speed you were both a moaning mess. Your kisses and thrusts got more sloppy as you both feared your orgasm. “Fuck y/n- I’m close. Please tell me you’re close too. I wanna cum together.” He said between groans and heavy breaths. You nodded, your own orgasm almost reaching it’s peak. “I’m close too.” You told him. “Good” He said, before giving a few final thrusts making you both cum.

He breathed heavily as he just rest his body on top of yours, his dick still pulsating now and then inside of you every time you clenched around him. You both were breathing hard as you just stayed still and laid on top of each other. You softly started to caress Jungkook’s hair as you both came down from your hight. He softly closed his eyes, listening to your heart beat and enjoying the soft caresses over his head.

After a minute of two his dick slipped out of you making you feel empty again. Jungkook opened his eyes and pushed his body back up. He gave you a tired smile, receiving one back from you. He lazily kissed you one more time before getting up, taking the condom off and throwing it into the bin. When he came back you both snuggled up against each other onto the bed. He played down on his back as you laid on your side. One leg placed over his and one arm wrapped around his chest. Jungkook wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you a bit closer, giving you a soft kiss on the forehead. “I love you y/n” He said. You smiled at yourself before looking up to him and saying it back. “I love you too Jungkook.”

“So... you’re ready for round two?” He suddenly asked. You looked at him in shock. How quickly had this boy recovered from the first round!? He chuckled and peeked your lips. “It’s ok love. I’ll let you recover first but I really want my round two afterwards.” He said, as you shook your head in unbelief. “Wish, this boy.” “What?Your body is just so irresistible.” He said, giggling.

And before you knew it, a round two became a round three and so on. To keep it short, you had a great night together and it wouldn't be the last one. How it all started with you desperately looking for a job and eventually ending up meeting the love of your life. Life couldn't get better.

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gyeomsweetgyeom · 3 years

Text

you suck at crushes

College!Yangyang x College!Reader x College!Renjun

summary: Renjun wants to help you get with Yangyang who wants to help you couple up with Renjun but they’re both annoying, maybe one less than the other

word count: 4.2k

(warnings: swearing, mentions of food) ((lmk if I missed anything))

Taglist! @lanadreamie

A/N: I hope you guys enjoy!! I swear reader ends up with only one guy I just don’t want to give away the ending and I know the summary is ass

God it was like the beams of sunshine just followed him around. Providing him with a natural spotlight that only worked to draw your attention to him even more than usual. The voices around you faded into background noise, and everything else besides him became so fuzzy you could only focus on the one and only- Liu Yangyang.

“Hello?” “Y/N!” “Are you listening to us?” Someone gripped your shoulder and shook you until you were out of your Yangyang-induced-haze. “Huh? Oh yeah… totally.” You answered with absolutely no idea about the conversation happening at the very table you sat at.

Your friends snorted, teasing and making fun of you. A kissing noise, a high pitched teasing exclamation of the man of the hour’s name, and some playful elbows being jabbed into your side. When they finally stopped with the teasing and they actually filled you in you were able to answer some questions about the times at the library.

You slipped into your seat in your geology class, a poor choice on your behalf and quite frankly the school for describing it as something that would be ‘fun and exciting.’ What a total load of BS that was. The professor was an old man that went on and on about his days in the field 40 years ago and rambled on and on about subjects that were 70% of the time not on the tests. However, the one and only bright side was that you had your favorite distraction in this class, Yangyang.

How could one person asking a question about the tectonic plates or the striations on a stupid rock be so attractive? He made it possible.

“Staring yet again?” An annoying voice asked quietly, just inches from your ear.

“Who are you?” You asked annoyed.

“Y/N, that isn’t funny anymore. Not the first time you did it and not the hundreds of times after that. We lived on the same street for years before you decided to follow me here.” He answered with a huff.

“Renjun, will you just go away? You know I’m no good at this so go bother someone else.” You replied. You took your eyes off Yangyang, gave Renjun a quick glare, and focused back on the lab work in front of you. Something stupid about hills or some moutain. Wasn’t this class supposed to be about rocks?

“I don’t need help, I came to help you. We’re friends- shhhh.” Renjun started, quickly shutting you up before you could interrupt. “I can help you with this lab and help you win over your beloved Yangyang.”

You sent him a quizzical look. In all the years you had known Renjun he had never been this... generous- always wanting something in return. “He and I are friends, he’s been super annoying lately and complaining about some final project we decided to do together, but we have months to do it. If I help you guys get together in order to distract him, then he can stop bothering me about that final project. It’s a win-win-win situation.” He explained.

Well, that made a lot of sense. “What do you even have in mind? Yangyang and I don’t talk like we used to, how could we go from strangers to dating in just a couple months.”

“Don’t underestimate yourself. You were the person to show him around school when he was the new kid all those years ago when we were kids, you’re in better standing than you think. We all went to the same school, we already know each other, we all have this class, and I’m not going to let this fail because I do not fail. If I have to hear about the final project one more time I will rip all the hair off his head, three strands at a time.” Renjun pouted.

“You sound completely crazy-”

“If you two need some help all you have to do is ask, I don’t need you two to argue and disrupt the class. Mr. Liu, since you seem to have a good understanding of the assignment, would you mind helping them out?” The professor called out.

You and Renjun sent each other incredulous looks, were you really talking that loudly? “It’s earlier than expected, but don’t worry I got this,” Renjun whispered.

“You know if you guys had just spoken quietly, I could have left early but here I am. You can’t do anything without me can you?” Yangyang teased Renjun.

“Oh, it wasn’t me. Y/N here is just so stupid, I was trying to explain the lab and it’s like all my words go in one ear and out the other. Maybe you can explain better than I can.” Renjun gestured toward you wildly.

You immediately went to defend yourself but stopped when instead, Yangyang came to your defense. “Y/N isn’t stupid like you Injun, if you wanted some attention you didn’t have to bother someone innocent.”

Your face felt so hot, god this attention was too much to handle so suddenly. It was as if Renjun had thrown you into the deep end of a pool when you had just learned about the entire concept of swimming itself. If this was his attempt at getting you and Yangyang together you were now questioning the entire idea. It was just too much to handle so suddenly.

Yangyang quickly went on to explain the idea of the lab, giving you some tips to make the work easier and how it connected to past lessons. “Do you understand it a little more now?” He asked you.

You hissed when someone stomped on your foot beneath the table. Your eyes met Renjun’s while he discreetly shook his head, seemingly trying to send you some kind of message. But it seemed whatever he was sending was received because you quickly caught on, answering, “Oh uh, this whole class has actually been a bit more difficult than I anticipated, and you seem to have a way better understanding than I do. Would you be willing to maybe meet up sometime and just help a little more?”

“I’m free on Wednesday afternoons, let’s exchange numbers so maybe we can find out what you struggle the most with and what time works for you. Renjun are you coming too, you seemed to get the lab when I explained it,” Yangyang replied.

Renjun answered with a simple nod, sending Yangyang on his way for the remainder of the class. He was quiet the rest of the time, still sitting beside you. When the class was over he looked over at you, “This is going to be so much easier than I thought.”

Some point in the week after class you had all decided on the meeting place and time. Some little cafe just off campus after Yangyang was done with his last class of the day. He said the coffee was good and it wasn’t even expensive, to which Renjun was quick to add that they had friends working there so they got discounts.

Renjun insisted on meeting you a little earlier to go over the details of the plan he had finally come up with. The plan mainly consisted of you just catching up with Yangyang, which would then progress to just the two of you hanging out, then bam! Dating! Much easier said than done you were quick to point out. His plan was just an idea with no details. Like what do you talk about? How do you make him like you? What kinds of things does he like? Could he even like you romantically?

“He actually mentioned to me that he was happy to talk to you again, so I have very high hopes. That was one conversation with him that was not about the final. Just have some hope.” Renjun shrugged.

“You make this sound so simple, but you are not the one risking being embarrassed by telling the guy you’ve had a crush on since you were 10 about your feelings and having even less of a relationship than you’ve had for the past like 6 years.” You huffed.

“Since you were 10? That’s a little embarrassing.” Renjun let out.

Ever since you were kids it was like Renjun knew the exact words and actions to push your every button. Always getting on your nerves and getting under your skin. It was foolish of you to believe that he had matured enough to not tease you, even in your 20s and even in college. Huang Renjun sucked.

You brought your hands up to his neck, fully ready to wrap your hands around his neck and just squeeze- just enough pressure for him to get the idea to just shut up. But of course, that would be unacceptable in public and even less appropriate seeing as Yangyang had come right up to the table before you could do so. You improvised, changing your intended action of a throat squeeze to a nice hug, arms wrapped tightly around Renjun’s shoulders. You smiled brightly, tilting your head away from Yangyang so your lips were right beside Renjun’s ear, “I can go another 10 years buddy, learn to shut your damn mouth. I for one know how to follow through with my threats and will actually pull your hairs from your head- Yangyang, so good to see you!”

Yangyang looked between the both of you curiously, side by side, one with a bright, beaming smile and the other flushed, scared look on their face. He shook it off and pulled out his study materials while making small talk.

By the end of the study session you felt more confident in your geology skills and your chances with Yangyang. He had gotten exponentially cooler as he got older than the kid you met all those years ago. Sure, he was still chaotic and sarcastic, even still a little dramatic, but it nonetheless made your heart skip a beat, just like the first time you laid eyes on him.

Over the next few weeks Renjun slowly stopped coming to the study sessions. He always had some excuse or another, that neither you or Yangyang ever really questioned. In those few weeks you and Yangyang had grown closer as friends, texting each other about more than just class, checking in on each other, sending stupid memes and tiktoks, even a few inside jokes.

But of course, Renjun had to have his time too. Instead of just texting you, he would make conversation anytime he saw you on campus, even going as far as asking you to hang out when he wanted to know what was going on. Every night without fail, he would FaceTime you for at least an hour and a half to ask for very detailed updates which at some point became you two just talking about your days in general. He liked to judge your every decision, giving his own input on even minor things like the seat you sat in for a class he didn’t even have. He said his life lacked drama so he needed to live vicariously through his friends.

“I know we usually meet at the cafe, but even with that discount I really shouldn’t be spending all that money there every week. Do you mind if we meet at mine this week? I promise my roommate buys enough snacks to feed the whole complex and he makes me clean the place every week.” Yangyang suggested about a month and a half into your studying arrangement.

You of course agreed, you’d be crazy to not want to go to your crush’s home, just the two of you- alone, and talking about… rocks.

So when the next week came and Wednesday afternoon rolled around, you found yourself standing right outside your crush’s door, fist raised to knock. You were so nervous, just being alone with him in his home! This wasn’t the cafe where you had other people around, where you knew where things were, close to your home. No, this was his house, and that made you beyond nervous.

He pulled the door open, a wide smile on his face as he welcomed you in. He set your things at his kitchen table and gave you a short tour of the home. “My roommate will be back later tonight, but he made us some food if we get hungry later,” He told you while he brought out his own supplies, once again ready to conquer your weekly study session.

And even though you did at one point struggle very much with the subject, this particular topic seemed easier to understand. So after even correcting Yangyang a few times, the study session became more of a hang out session. So casual that you even answered Renjun’s texts, chuckling at him freaking out in all caps because you were in Yangyang’s home.

“No, but Renjun did that last time we hung out too! We were in public, like full on glass of water spilled across the table and he got so red,” you laughed recalling the memory from just a few weeks ago after watching Yangyang do the same.

Then just a few minutes later when you were both watching TV you mumbled, “I think Renjun would like this show. This is on Netflix right?”

Yangyang being the smart kid that he is, had pieces coming together in his mind, ideas that he wasn’t even sure if you knew yet. He was going to make this happen.

Renjun sat in front of Yangyang, a month before the end of the semester, finally working on the final project. Which, thanks to you, had not been mentioned even once since you and Yangyang started hanging out until a week ago.

After finishing his part for the day Yangyang leaned back in his chair, sighed and smiled. “I think I’m going to ask Sua from our history class out.”

Renjun choked on his drink, did Yangyang really have to pick the exact moment he took a sip of his drink to tell him this? He cleared his throat, “Since when do you like her?”

Yangyang shrugged nonchalantly, explaining that Sua worked at the cafe he was always at and at some point they just kind of hit it off.

Renjun nodded, a little excessively. In his head he was trying to figure out what the hell to do. He knew you liked Yangyang and how hurt you would be if Yangyang suddenly had a girlfriend. At this moment, you were the only thing on Renjun’s mind. “Really? I actually thought you and Y/N might be a really good match, and you guys obviously get along well.” He replied.

Yangyang hid his smirk by taking a sip of his drink, “I don’t know, Y/N is really just much more of a friend than anything. Like don’t get me wrong Y/N is cool, but I see Sua more romantically.”

Before Renjun even had time to process his words and think of the consequences, he suddenly blurted out, “Well, Y/N likes you- and has liked you since we were kids. You have to think about more feelings than just your own Yangyang. Think of Y/N.”

“Like you think about Y/N?” Yangyang replied. Renjun tilted his head in confusion, trying to understand what Yangyang was talking about.

“I know you never grew out of that crush you had in middle school- it’s that cute childhood neighbors to lovers thing. I know that whole plan you made so I could finally pay attention to Y/N, and while I admit it worked, because Y/N is a cool friend, this plan didn’t work the way you wanted it to. I see the way you look at Y/N and every time we hang out that’s all you can talk about. I’m smarter than you Injun, I know.”

Renjun flushed, these were emotions that he had buried deep down years ago. In just two months Yangyang had uncovered and brought his emotions to light. Emotions that had at one point been disguised as that annoying 13 year old kid that would bother you to your wit’s end and now evolved to Renjun putting your emotions before his own. Days that were once filled with him tugging on your hair or tapping on your shoulder and looking away as if it weren’t him, had now become days of texting or facetiming you regularly just to catch up like he had wanted.

“I think you should tell Y/N how you feel, don’t underestimate your chances.” Yangyang told Renjun as they made their way out of the cafe.

When Yangyang told you that he knew you liked him, that he wasn’t interested, that he was actually going to date Sua from his history class, you thought you would be more upset. Embarrassed that he knew you liked him all this time, angry that he didn’t tell you earlier, or heartbroken that your crush of almost 10 years didn’t like you like you liked him. But you weren’t. You weren’t embarrassed, or angry, or heartbroken. You felt fine, it felt like he was just telling you what he ate for lunch. “Okay, so how do you tell the difference between these crystals again?” You replied with a nod.

“And I know you like Renjun.” He added quietly.

You looked up suddenly, eyes wide with shock, “What?”

“Come on Y/N, I think this whole ‘Renjun annoys me to no end’ is just a ploy. Whenever we hang out he’s all you talk about, you guys FaceTime like every night, right? You smile every time he texts you, and even though you play it off as ironic shit-posting- those stories you always post with all the hearts and cheesy ass captions stopped being a joke at some point. You may not have realized it but even with Renjun as just a friend to you now, he means more to you than I do.”

You huffed, crossing your arms across your chest, “You know you’re smarter than you look, but I really don’t like you psychoanalyzing me.”

He laughed loudly, “So what are you going to do about it?”

“I don’t exactly have a good record with crushes, obviously. I don’t know what to do now,” you quietly answered, “Anyway this seems like a good ending point, we’ll meet one more time before the final right? Just text me if you need anything alright?”

Before Yangyang could even stop you or try to reassure you, you were hastily packing up your things and out the door. How was he going to get the two of you together now?

It seemed that mother nature seemed to understand the tornado of emotions that were happening for you and Renjun, though you both had no idea about one another, what had started off as a gorgeous spring day had become a dark and rainy spring night. Even Yangyang laid in his bed, unable to sleep as he remembered that he had failed to mention or even plan out- that neither of you knew you liked each other. That would have been nice to know, but it was a little too late for that now seeing as it was like two in the morning.

If you liked Renjun, which it sounded like you did, according to Yangyang and the more you thought about it, it really felt like you did. Not some surface level ‘I like to admire you from afar for 10 years’ crush but rather a ‘I like you and want to spend time with you and I’d hate to see you smile at anyone else like you smile at me and possibly fall in love.’ You sat straight up in bed, flashes of the lightning outside lit your room up, did you just think about falling in love with Renjun? Before you could process anymore thoughts you pulled on a coat and some shoes, grabbing the umbrella you kept by the door. You had to tell Renjun how you felt.

Stepping out of your apartment complex, you thanked the love gods for allowing Renjun to live just a few blocks away from each other and not across town. There was no doubt in your mind that by the time you reached him, you would be soaked to the bone, but you had to do this. There was no point in keeping this crush to yourself just for nothing, you had to take the risk and just hope for the best. Best case scenario, you get a boyfriend, and worst case, well then you don’t talk to him for another few years and every time you see him your heart feels like it's being stomped on. You know, something that could become a regular feeling.

You hurried through the storm, dodging large puddles while trying your best to stay beneath the awnings of the buildings. You stopped at a light, looking out into the rain to see just how much further you had until you got to Renjun’s place. But instead you focused on the sight of someone rushing through the rain to get to the opposite end of the crosswalk. You squinted through the downpour, realizing that the person at the other end of the crosswalk was “Renjun?”

You rushed toward him, lucky that there were no cars at this hour of the night to dodge. He ran forward, meeting you in the middle, pulling your hand forward so that the umbrella covered you both. “What are you doing out here?” He asked you loudly so you could hear him over the rain.

“I was coming to see you,” you started, meeting his eyes that told you he was waiting to hear more, “Renjun I like you. I really like you. I don’t smile, or laugh, or feel happy or even feel annoyed with anyone else like I feel when I’m with you. I want to be happy and date you, use your stupid plans to plan dates for us. I don’t want anyone else but you.”

“God, you don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to hear you say that. I’ve had a crush on you since middle school, you don’t know how happy this makes me.” He beamed, using his free hand to cup your cheek.

His hands were wet, and his fingers were cold as they cupped your warm cheek. “Are you gonna kiss me or what?” You asked.

He surged forward, lips meeting your own in a passionate kiss as your eyes fluttered shut. Your lips moved against his own, wrapping your free arm around his neck to pull him closer. He let his other arm fall to bring you closer by the waist, deepening the kiss. With one arm holding up the umbrella you decided to just fuck it, dropping the umbrella you placed your hand at the back of his neck.

A sudden honk made the two of you jump apart, rushing back to the end of the crosswalk to avoid getting hit by an angry driver.

“You crazy kids! Living your movie moment! I did it!” You heard a voice yell over the pounding rain.

“Yangyang?” Both you and Renjun called out upon catching sight of Yangyang leaning out his car window.

He smiled, gesturing for the two of you to get in the car. You both shuffled into the backseat, hands held close and sitting side by side to warm each other up after being out in the horrible weather for so long. You were both shivering, teeth chattering, and lips nearly blue from the cold.

“Aren’t you guys glad I meddled? I mean look at you guys, all cute and cuddled up after your adorable kiss in the rain.” Yangyang giddily smiled as he shook some of the water out of hair.

“Can you just take us back to mine, I’d like to get dry so we don’t get sick. If that’s ok with you,” Renjun asked, whispering the last bit to you.

You nodded, squeezing his hand reassuringly. Yangyang nodded, putting the car in drive, chatting your ears off about how happy he was that the plan worked even when he didn’t plan well considering he forgot to mention that you liked each other. He told you both that he was on his way to Renjun’s to tell him that you liked him and force him to FaceTime you and confess.

He pulled up in front of the apartment complex, turning to give you a cocky smirk before you could even get out of the car or thank him for the ride, “So is Injun a good kisser?”

“This whole car ride made me realize how much you suck, seriously. I clearly made the right choice, so I hope and pray for your sake Sua has a mountain of patience, like you never shut up- ever. Thank you for the ride.” You ranted angrily before you made your way out of the car.

Yangyang’s jaw fell in fake offense, “You sure know how to pick ‘em Renjun.”

But he wasn’t met with the shocked face he thought he would see, he was instead met with a dazed, lovesick look. “Yeah I do, I might be in love.”

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