#dark luisa alver
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Building at Longbourne
Summary: Rose moves into Longbourne Inn, and Lu immediately has a long laundry list of things she wants her to do.
Rose Solano x Luisa Alver
Rating: G.
“Okay, you want what now?”
Rose stands, places her hands on the small of her back, and stretches while her thumbs press into the kink just there. Then she brushes a hand across her sweaty brow and looks up at her handiwork. Which, admittedly, should probably not be called handiwork since the most she’s done so far is demo.
At her words, Luisa immediately prances into the room, wraps her arms around Rose’s waist, and leans up on her tiptoes so that she can rest her chin on her shoulder. She kisses her cheek and then makes a disgusted smacking noise. “Ugh, you’re all covered in sweat, and it’s not the good kind of sweat, and there’s dust, and the dust tastes nasty, and—”
Rose turns and kisses her proper, then she pulls away, raising her eyebrows. “Better?”
“A little.” Luisa frowns. “You’re still all gritty.”
“Tearing down the inside of our new house,” Rose says, gesturing around her with one hand. She turns back to the room. “What all did you want me to do with this again?”
~
Longbourne is, admittedly, much better than Rose expected. It’s still hot and sweaty in the summer because they’re still in Florida, but the lake makes for a nice breeze every now and again. She’s taken to standing on the porch of the little inn Luisa runs, leaning on her elbows on the railing, and staring out at everything. Her hair’s all frizzy and full of corkscrews the way it had been in the Caymans, and she’s got it half-pulled back behind a Crayola blue bandana with its normal pattern in what is quickly becoming a stained white.
Lu’s been having her do renovations on the inn all summer; she has huge plans for how she wants it to look and feel, and most of those huge plans have to do with their own personal suite. Ever since she moved up to Longbourne, Lu has a room of the inn to herself – the suite meant for whoever runs the whole thing – but now that Rose is staying with her, she wants it to be bigger. Better. As though Rose wouldn’t have been fine with it being the way it was.
(Not that Rose minds bigger. She just doesn’t want to be the main workhorse.)
Today, Rose leans forward the same way she always does, elbows propped onto the railing, arms bare in the Florida sun, covered with freckles, lean muscles apparent in the light filtering through the surrounding trees, a glass bottle of lemonade in one hand, regretting that this is just normal lemonade but never wanting to tempt Luisa by getting something harder. She sighs, takes a deep gulp of her lemonade, and then wipes her lips with the back of one hand.
She could have done exactly none of this in her previous role as Sin Rostro.
Well.
She could have done some of it, but not while she was masquerading as Emilio Solano’s trophy wife. Rose Solano could have done none of this, could only have decided the designs of things and then never been directly involved in the implementing thereof.
But it’s nice – it’s welcome, actually – to let Luisa take on most of the design choices (with the exception of Rose pointing out when things would look absolutely horrible and then having to put her foot down, even when Luisa looks up at her with the biggest, roundest puppy dog eyes that are normally impossible to fight except no, Luisa, she is not painting that hot pink design over wine-purple walls; it would be ugly) and then to just be the grunt doing the job.
She’s….
She’s missed this, actually.
Not that you’ll ever hear her say it to anyone else.
~
Luisa shoves Rose into the shower nightly because Rose works in their suite until long after dark. By the time Rose makes it back to their bed, she’s too exhausted to do much more than lie there, which Luisa does not appreciate. But on weekends, Lu forces Rose to take a break and drags her around to her different favorite locales. Lu’s been in Longbourne far longer than Rose has, and she’s had time to become a regular at certain restaurants (the one diner and then the local pub, where she assures Rose she has never gotten anything even remotely alcoholic, and the bartender unsurprisingly backs her up, while giving Rose an unhappy look) as well as the one grocery store, where she’s become friends with the owner, and the one clothing store, which is as open to modification as Rose’s face changing plastic surgery ring had been.
Soon, Rose becomes a regular about as much as Luisa does, and she finds it’s oddly…comforting.
Again, not that she’ll ever say it to anyone at all.
But Luisa can see it, can see when Rose suggests they go to the pub for her favorite barbecue ribs instead of the diner for hot chocolate, can see the way her nose turns up at the idea of going to the clothing store because she would rather order stuff online than get something from that penny-pinching miser woman who runs the store (and then goes back anyway because she never means it), and she feels her heart – which was already three sizes too big – grow even bigger.
~
“Okay, you’ve got to keep your eyes closed.”
“Why does it matter when you’re covering them?”
“I know you can see through my fingers, Lu.”
Rose walks Luisa to their brand new, finished suite. She keeps Luisa’s eyes covered with her hands, although she probably should pull that old bandana out of her back jeans pocket and tie that around her eyes instead. The problem is that, after having been kidnapped…more than once, Luisa doesn’t take as kindly to having a bandana tied around her eyes as she used to. It’s made some of their play a little tamer on occasion, but Rose will never hold that against her. Better safe than sorry, after all. She’s just glad Lu told her instead of trying to push through it and hurting herself.
As they walk forward, Luisa giggles with nerves like a schoolgirl on her first day to a new class (or to high school, although Rose has only ever been to boarding schools and private schools since Elena took over her tutelage). “Is everything the way I wanted it?”
“Wait and see.”
Rose shoves the door open with the tip of one steel-toed boot, leads Luisa in a little further, and then murmurs, “Three, two, one,” into Luisa’s ear before dropping her hands.
For a moment, Luisa doesn’t say anything. This doesn’t scare Rose, because she’s never scared of anything, but it’s certainly odd. Lu’s never quiet like this.
Then Lu lets out a squee of excitement. “It’s perfect!” She turns and grabs Rose towards her in a big hug, dancing in a circle with her back into their room. Then, after a final squeeze, she drops her arms and races into their bathroom, where she lets out another little squee of excitement – louder this time, given that it echoes in the bathroom.
Rose chuckles lightly to herself as she follows her into the room, and when Lu finally comes back out with a big smile on her face, she says, “I take it you like it.”
“It’s wonderful!” Lu exclaims. “But, now that you’re done,” she starts, walking towards her, “I’ve got some ideas for fixing up some of the other rooms—”
“No.” Rose gives Luisa the most firmest look she can, staring down at her, and Luisa’s face falls. Then a corner of Rose’s lips curves upward as she says, “At least not until I have a good week off.” She bops the tip of Luisa’s nose. “I want to break our room in first.”
Luisa’s eyes sparkle with good humor. “Let’s start now.”
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Author Ask Game
tagged by: thanks to @aparticularbandit for tagging me!
author name: natalia, although i’ve also been gifted with the nicknames nats and trash goblin
fandoms you write for: only swan queen from once upon a time and roisa from jane the virgin. i have so many shows and movies on my must watch list that i’d probably be obsessed with if i actually watched but who knows when i’ll get to them lol
where you post: you can find me on ao3 at Ims0s0rry. i’ve gotten some prompts here on tumblr that you can find under the #prompts tag
most popular one-shot: touch before sight, before speech
my most popular work overall by hits, kudos, comments, and bookmarks by far. the people just want to read blind regina and mute emma fall in love over puppy henry. what can i say? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
most popular multi-chapter story: emma enchanted by hits, kudos, and bookmarks. never knew light could be so violent by comments (although take a bite of my heart tonight is a very very close second)
favourite story you wrote: y’all, i still can’t believe i finished da capo al fine. i know i whine about how every fic i write is kicking my ass, and that’s true, but this one was something else. there’s something so tender and heartbreaking about precanon roisa and i tried my best to convey that
story you were nervous to post: swept away i’m stolen was my first fic in the roisa fandom (not to mention my first time seriously writing smut. with my family sitting five feet away, god) and i thought that no one would read it because we were waiting on season 4 at that point, i think. but the reception was so warm and welcoming that i’ve been stuck here since then. send help
how do you pick your titles: 90% of the time it’s song lyrics. sometimes it’s a good song and most of the time it’s a trashy pop song (in another life is from katy perry’s “the one that got away”). the other 10% are quotations. touch before sight, before speech is a shortened quote from margaret atwood’s the blind assassin (you don’t want to know how proud of myself i was for that one)
do you outline: yes. i always seem to come up with the best ideas when i’m not writing, so i always have random pieces of paper that are covered in plot point scribbles. here’s one of the more readable ones from da capo al fine
how many of your stories are complete: sixteen
in-progress: two. currently working on the next chapter of remember me. i am sorry to those of you who are still waiting for me to update never knew light could be so violent. i will be back one day to finish it, i swear!
coming soon: ha ha, why would you ask me this question. i don’t have these all written down (why don’t i have these written down) but off the top of my head, i have vague ideas for a continuation of “shame we never got a season 5,” one i promised @awaybacktothen when petra first realizes she’s bi and goes to luisa for help (we should’ve gotten more petra/luisa scenes!), and one tentatively titled how to rehabiliate your crime lord girlfirend, a guide by luisa alver but we’ll see if that ever becomes a reality. i still have ideas for a soulmate au (day 2) and a maleficent au (day 6) for roisa week. at this point, it’s been two months and i think i’ll just have to put these on the backburner until i finish up my current projects. outside roisa week, i’ve been brainstorming for a his dark materials roisa au in honor of the new bbc series premiering in november!
do you accept prompts: sure! i’m currently stuck on remember me right now so i’ll take whatever distractions i can get. please be advised that i’m not interested in writing magic baby/pregnancy fics. i think everything else is on the table? my inbox is always open. go ham
upcoming story you’re the most excited for: i just want the his dark materials roisa au to leap, fully formed from my head like athena. someone literally just cleave my head open. do i wanna read it? hell yeah. do i wanna write it? no. and therein lies a bit of a problem
tag five fanfic authors to answer these questions: i literally don’t know any writers that haven’t been tagged, except maybe @luthorao3 and @psychelocktango? i know you’re busy but if you feel up to it...
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Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Jane the Virgin (TV)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Luisa Alver/Rose Solano
Characters: Luisa Alver, Rose Solano, Zoey Alver - Character, Holly Alver
Additional Tags: Smut, Fluff, Roisa, They are moms!, Little domestic, Luisa likes Rose's lingerie, Deal With the Devil, Married Life, Monsters, They get caught! (sort of)
Summary:
"It was late – perhaps sometime around one in the morning. She had promised to make it home earlier than the other previous two nights but what could she have done, it wasn’t like she had begged the woman to come storming through her office door mere five minutes before closing. The oath she had given – what seemed like an eternity ago – prohibited her from doing so."
"‘Finally,’ came a muffled voice as soon as Luisa locked her hands around Rose’s waist."
"At moments like this, they forgot who they were and where they were. They might have just as easily been a stepmother and a stepdaughter, an international crime lord and an alcoholic hot mess, and they still would have felt exactly like that in this moment. The four walls around them might have just as easily belonged to a utility closet at the Marbella, or to the Soviet-time Russian submarine of Rose’s, and it still would have been this utterly perfect. There could have been only one thing which would have either made this moment better or slightly worse."
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Sound around her was muted, the vibrant colors of the flowers blurring the sky and the air filled with the sweet scent of field’s blossoming flora
Luisa inhaled deeply, letting the warm, fragrant air fill her lungs and the sun warm her skin. She reached out, stroking the soft petals of a beautiful purple flower blooming next to her. The leaves imparting their aromatic scent to her fingers.
She smiled, looking around the whole field of equally beautiful flowers, ready to explore.
The silent breeze blew her dress up around her, riffling through her hair and bending the flowers around her.
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by spacexkitten
The series epilogue
Who knew life uptown could get so dark so fast?
Or: Peggy, you outshine the morning sun
Words: 6301, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Series: Part 3 of who lives, who dies, who tells your story
Fandoms: Jane the Virgin (TV), Hamilton - Miranda
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: F/F
Characters: Luisa Alver, Rose Solano
Relationships: Luisa Alver/Rose Solano
Additional Tags: and peggy, cameos by other characters, it's either tooth-rotting fluff or pure angst, not historically accurate, the time jump game is strong
from AO3 works tagged 'Hamilton - Miranda' http://ift.tt/2Alccq1
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hi, can i have uh...11 (travel au) + 4 (meet messy) + 25 (i know this looks bad but i swear it's not) combo meal? please and thank you!
@butimnotasexyrussian - this one’s for you! i...may have changed the line a little bit for...ocd...reasons BUT it’s the gist of it!!
“Luisa Idon’tknowwhatyourmiddlenameis Alver! Get back here!”
There was a loud thunk further down the hall, the sound of a door slamming, and Rose turned her head just enough to see a short Latina woman running toward her with a maroon-colored – on second glance, it must have been a sweatshirt – in her hands, a huge duffel bag swinging from one arm. The woman’s head was turned to face whoever it was who must have been shouting at her, and before Rose had time to move out of the way, she’d collided with her entirely.
Rose stumbled backward but kept herself upright, and she grabbed the other woman’s arms. “What the hell is going on?”
“Nothing.” The woman looked back over her shoulder. “Look, I know this looks bad, but it’s not. It’s not.” She turned back and roughly pushed the sweatshirt towards Rose. “But you have to hide this for me.”
“What? No. Why? No.” Rose looked at the sweatshirt and then back at the woman – who, admittedly, was cute, was very cute – but she wasn’t thinking about that. “I don’t even know you.”
The other woman gave her a bright grin. “Luisa Alver. Now you know me.” She shoved the sweatshirt back towards her again. “Now hide this!”
Rose’s eyes narrowed. “What do I get out of it?”
Luisa paused, looked her over, and then nodded once. She opened her mouth to speak, but before she could—
“Luisa!”
That same woman shouting from before, although the sound was much closer now, and Luisa’s eyes widened in what Rose could only guess was panic. “Whatever you want, whatever you want, just hide this!”
Rose grabbed the maroon sweatshirt from her hands, shoved it down into her backpack, and then swung the whole thing back on her back. And not a moment too soon, either – whoever it was shouting for Luisa was now grabbing the other woman’s arm with one hand, her clutch so tight that Rose could see the nails digging into her skin. Luisa spun to face her.
“Where is it?” the woman asked – a skinny little thing, shorter than either of them, and Rose was sure that if she grabbed her the way this woman had just grabbed Luisa, she could snap her bones like twigs. A part of her wanted to – not because she particularly liked Luisa or anything like that, but because she couldn’t stand anyone grabbing a woman the way this woman just grabbed Luisa.
Luisa wrested her arm out of the other woman’s grasp and rubbed her hand along the nail marks. “Where’s what?” she asked, nonchalant, as if she hadn’t just shoved the sweatshirt into the arms of the first woman she’d run into – literally.
“You know what.” The woman’s eyes narrowed.
“No, Allison, I don’t. All I know is that your flight is leaving in the next fifteen minutes and I have a bus to catch.” Luisa gave the other woman a stare that seemed cold, angry. Not the stare of someone who just stole someone’s sweatshirt. “You should get going. Don’t want to miss your flight.”
“Our flight,” the other woman – Allison – corrected. “You’re supposed to be on that flight with me.”
Luisa shrugged. “Well, maybe I don’t want to fly anywhere with you anymore. The last flight was bad enough. And it’s not like you want to share with me anymore—”
“And who is this?” Allison finally seemed to notice Rose standing there, and her eyes narrowed all at once. “Is this your accomplice?”
Rose’s lips formed into a tight-lipped smile. “No. Not an accomplice. Not an anything. Just happened to be here before you so rudely grabbed the person I was talking to.” She gave Allison a firm stare and then glanced at Luisa. “What was it she thinks you took from her?”
“I don’t know,” Luisa said with a shrug. “You didn’t see me with anything while you were talking to me, did you?”
“No,” Rose said, her voice calm, smooth, soft. “Not at all.” She glanced over to Allison again. “What was it you were looking for, again? Maybe someone else saw it.”
Allison glared at her. “My sweatshirt—”
“It’s not yours. It’s mine. It was my brother’s—”
“You don’t even wear it anymore—”
“Yeah, if you like it so much, then what’s its mascot, huh?” Luisa’s dark eyes blazed – and to be honest, while Rose wasn’t really scared of any of this sort of thing herself, she hoped that its intensity frightened the other woman.
Allison didn’t move. “It had a…rabbit…thing. With antlers. It’s a rabbit with antlers.”
Luisa leaned closer to her. “And what is that called?”
“A jackalope,” Rose answered before Allison got a chance to do so. “A rabbit with antlers. That’s a jackalope.”
“Exactly. That’s what I was gonna say. A jackalope.” Allison grinned. “See? I know what it is. So it’s mine.”
Rose was fairly certain that it didn’t matter whether Allison called it correctly or not – Luisa wasn’t going to believe it was hers, and unless this new girl offered her something better than Luisa had, she wasn’t going to snitch on the other girl. In fact, now would be a good time to go. She shifted the backpack strap on her right shoulder and nodded once to Allison then again to Luisa. “Look, I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go. I’ve got a connection that I can’t miss.” She met Luisa’s eyes briefly – the closest she could get to telling her that she was catching a bus, too, without saying anything – and then turned and walked off.
Hopefully the squabbling would be done soon enough that Luisa could catch up to her – she hadn’t been exactly lying. She did have a connection to catch.
-------------------------
Rose settled into the seat of her bus – a window seat, she’d been lucky – and shoved her backpack under the seat in front of her. The sweatshirt was still bundled inside of it, shoved down further beneath the book she’d pulled out to read while waiting on the bus to arrive. Every now and again, she’d peered over the top of the book – usually when she pushed her glasses back into place – looking for any sign of the strange woman who’d shoved it towards her in the first place, but she hadn’t seen any sight of her.
Too bad. Now there was no way that she’d get her sweatshirt back at all. Oh, well.
All of a sudden, the bus’s doors clanged open again, and the woman from before – Luisa Alver – was pulling herself onto the bus, breathing heavily. Her eyes scanned the rows and then lit up when they saw Rose. “Sorry I’m late,” she said – probably to the bus driver, but she didn’t drop her gaze from Rose. The bus driver must have mumbled something, but Luisa didn’t seem to pay any attention to him, instead walking down the aisle, holding her duffel bag carefully in her hands, and sitting in the empty seat right next to Rose. “Hey,” she said as the bus started forward with a little jolt. “Did you miss me?”
“You almost missed me,” Rose said, staring at her. There was a fine sheen of sweat beading across Luisa’s brow, which wouldn’t be attractive if Rose weren’t considering—
“I wouldn’t have missed you.” Luisa gave her a familiar smug grin, wiping one hand across her forehead. “That would have been a disaster.” She took a deep breath and let it out, collapsing against the back of her seat. “You still have it, right?” she asked, her eyes lighting up.
“Yes,” Rose said, “but first, you have to explain what was going on. Not because I care,” she continued – because she didn’t, really, “but because this will be a long bus ride, and however long you take explaining this is a little less time I have to figure out what to do.” Namely, read. But the book she’d brought wasn’t nearly as gripping as she’d thought it would be, particularly when it had to compete with this woman and whatever story she’d just found herself plopped into.
Luisa’s eyes widened, and she settled into her seat, grabbing her ankle as she crossed one leg under the other. “Of course.” Then she grinned and leaned forward. “And there’s still the matter of what you want from me. I owe you, remember?”
“Oh,” Rose let her gaze drift – and it was easy, taking in the sun-kissed skin of Luisa’s arms, legs, everything and letting herself wonder just how far that tan ran (and, in the places where it was gone, imagining what she might see instead) – and then met Luisa’s eyes – this close, she could see the specks of gold and green at the very center – and smiled, “I haven’t forgotten.”
Luisa didn’t seem at all bothered by the gaze. If anything, it seemed to make her glow, that smug smile of hers growing. “So Allison’s my ex,” she said, starting the story, running one hand through her dark brown hair. “I used to sleep in that sweatshirt all the time! It reminds me of my brother and of home – Miami, if you’re wondering, because I know you are, and the beaches are just as gorgeous as you’ve heard, and they’re even better if you find a little secret one somewhere that you can take your girlfriend and just be together by yourselves in the nice warm sand by the waves and the ocean is so cold, so you cling to each other for warmth – you should come by sometime, it’ll be great—”
Rose flushed – not from embarrassment, but because – well, she couldn’t say exactly why, and it infuriated her. Stupid body. Flushing just because she could easily see herself on that beach and just how easily she would burn. “I’d have to bring an umbrella. Or a very big hat.” She gestured to her skin. “Some of us don’t tan like you do. These freckles aren’t any protection at all.”
“I think they’re cute,” Luisa said, smiling innocently, “and we can bring an umbrella. Or a lot of sunscreen. I could help you put lather up.” She patted Rose’s hand. “Anyway. Allison. We flew out to Vegas for our one month anniversary and mostly because I really like Vegas and wanted someone to come with me and thought, you know, girlfriend, the only thing I have to worry about is accidentally getting too drunk and all that marriage shit – which we avoided, thankfully – but there was a show I wanted to go to and she didn’t and I came back to our apartment afterward and found her in bed with someone else. So we broke up.”
“And the sweatshirt?”
“Oh, yeah, right, I sleep in it, and she stole it from me and slept in it, and I thought that was cute because girls sleeping in your clothes is hot, obviously, and when I left the hotel, she was wearing it and she wouldn’t give it back and we still had seats next to each other on the flight out, so I stole it back.” Luisa crossed her arms and gave her head a little shake. “That flight was horrible. Absolutely horrible. 10/10 do not recommend. Exes are exes for a reason. But!” Her smile became smug again. “I got my sweatshirt back, so it worked out.” Her gaze moved to Rose. “Or you have my sweatshirt. Which means I met you. So – win/win situation, in my opinion, because you’re cute. Hot. The whole package.”
Rose bent forward. “That’s a little blunt.”
Luisa uncrossed and recrossed her legs, drawing attention to them. “That bother you?”
“Not at all.” Rose dragged her gaze away from where Luisa so definitely wanted it to be and pulled the sweatshirt out of her backpack. “Here. Take it.”
“Thank you.” Luisa immediately pulled it on, grinned, and then wiggled her nose and scowled. “It smells like her.” Then, “Wait,” she lifted one arm and sniffed at her arm. “No, it smells kind of like your bag. Or I think that’s your bag because it’s not her. It smells better than she does.”
“Thank you for telling me I smell good. Definitely what I wanted to hear from a strange woman today.” Rose smiled. “And you have to get off the bus with me. That’s what I want.”
“Is that all you want?” Luisa grinned, staring at her. “Because I can do more than that.”
Rose shrugged. “I won’t be cruel.” For once. “Just get off the bus with me. And we can see what happens from that.”
“Deal.” Luisa took Rose’s hand and shook it. “Now if you don’t mind me, I had a long flight, and I’m exhausted, and your lap looks really comfortable, so just let me—” And she spread out as much as she could in one of the bus seats, resting her head in Rose’s lap. “Good?”
Rose swallowed once. “Yep.”
“Comfortable?”
“Yep.”
“Then just wake me up when we get where we’re going.” Luisa gave Rose a wink, and within a few minutes, she was asleep.
Rose stared at her. Well. Not what she expected to come out of her bus trip today, but she wasn’t going to say no. Not when something this gorgeous dropped into her lap. She brushed her hand idly through Luisa’s hair.
Memo to self; no cheating on this one.
#butimnotasexyrussian#roisa#rose solamo#luisa alver#bandit answers questions#bandit writes fic#thanks so much for sending this in!!!!#sorry i took so long with it
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i should add my fandoms somewhere. why haven’t i done that.
there are too many. how do i sum up?
give me shows with lesbians and if i’ve seen them i probably am in or want to be part of the fandom.
although when we say fandom i think there’s a different meaning to that because while i have been in the ouat fandom, i’m no longer in the ouat fandom because it scares me. like i’m not technically in the undertale fandom because it scares me. but i’m a fan of the first few seasons of ouat and i love undertale so. idk.
basically right now i post a BUNCH of roisa/rose solano/luisa alver/jtv stuff. i’ve been dabbling in gentleman jack (i have thoughts actually on some of the stuff since i started going back through the episodes oops). i’ve also been dabbling in timeless (blame @only-freakin-sunflowers).
i post pokemon stuff. and sometimes btvs stuff. and undertale stuff but mostly of chara or asriel because i love them. also i post supergirl stuff. mostly of astra. because i love astra.
a lot of my posts have to do with fanfic i’ve been writing or planning to write, primarily where it concerns roisa. like i’d say a majority of my posts as far as topics are writing stuff. or jtv/roisa/rose/luisa analysis.
i like analyzing things. ><;;;;;;;;;;
ALSO EXPECT ME TO PROBABLY YELL REALLY LOUD ABOUT DARK PHOENIX BECAUSE PHOENIX IS MY FAVORITE FICTIONAL CHARACTER AND UGH I JUST WANT THIS MOVIE TO BE GOOD.
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Imagine Luisa Alver watching The Muppet Show with her parents almost immediately after she was born, cradled in one of their arms while they watched. Many of her earliest memories are of watching the show with them, typically sitting in Mia’s lap, and The Muppet Movie is the first movie she remembers seeing in theaters, even if it’s only vague impressions as she almost a month away from her second birthday. (She remembers The Great Muppet Caper better, but she’ll say she remembers The Muppet Movie, that she was a fan of the Muppets from the show’s first season, from the womb, she was a fan of the Muppets, which is really a hint to not bring them up around her.)
Imagine Luisa Alver being so much more into the Muppets than anything Disney because she was born in 1977 and grew up during a time when the Muppets were huge and Disney was in its dark age. The first Disney movie she saw was The Fox and the Hound, and that was the same year The Great Muppet Caper came out and one of these movies is much more her sense of humor than the other and three guesses which one it is. Imagine that if she had to choose between watching Muppets or going to see The Black Cauldron, she would go see Muppets again every time. (She still doesn’t understand how people love Disney more than Muppets, but that’s because the Disney movies she grew up with just weren’t as good as the Muppet movies were.)
Imagine that she watched Muppet Babies with little Rafael who didn’t even know what he was watching because he was a baby, but he grew up on Muppet Babies because Luisa devoured the show. Imagine how hard she begged Emilio to take her to The Muppets Take Manhattan and Elena shoos them away so that she can have some alone time with her newborn son and Luisa hypes up on popcorn and juice and is just so happy to be able to have alone time with her dad again.
Imagine that, even though she is fourteen years old, Luisa has to go see The Muppet Christmas Carol as soon as it comes out and she drags Rafael with her, which is much more acceptable because he’s seven but who cares about acceptable, it’s the Muppets! And every year, it is her go-to Christmas movie because it’s the one she saw with Rafael, and they can sing every song and quote every line from memory if someone gets them started.
Imagine she comes home from college over Valentine’s Day weekend and watches Muppet Treasure Island with her twelve year old brother because a new Muppet movie with her brother over a bowl of cheap chocolate they’d bought after the holiday is SO much better than trying to go out on a date to any one of hundreds of restaurants that are already full of people on Valentine’s Day dates. She and Rafael memorize the songs from this one, too, and it will always be her favorite version of Treasure Island because, look, Frank-N-Furter is Long John Silver, honestly, c’mon, what version can beat that?
Imagine little Luisa Alver wanting to be Fozzie Bear with all his corny jokes and then as she grows older realizing that there’s a part of her that’s Gonzo the Great who wants to fly and be a bird but has no wings (and imagine her shock when Muppets from Space comes out and he’s actually an alien!) and the older she gets the more she feels like Kermit, trying to make everything in her head run straight and sometimes Emilio feels like Statler and Waldorf, with every joke about how everything she or Rafael has tried hard at isn’t good enough, and sometimes his wives feel like Miss Piggy until she comes to love her, too, and isn’t that just foreshadowing for the day she falls in love with his last trophy wife?
Imagine that The Muppets, the Jason Segal and Amy Adams reboot, comes out while Rafael has cancer and while Rose is married to Emilio and while she is on a break from her relationship with Allison which really means that she’s having an affair with Rose because Rose is trying to keep her from drinking because even after her two times through rehab, sometimes not drinking is really, really hard and Luisa is an addict and when she’s not addicted to drinking, she’s addicted to Rose and Rose knows that. Imagine Luisa goes to see it alone because, even though she isn’t ashamed of her love of the Muppets, she doesn’t want Rose to take part in something so sacred to her and she and Petra don’t really get along and she doesn’t want to take her father from Rafael because Rafael could be dying and she just needs to go see the Muppets because they have always been there to cheer her up and she just needs to be cheered up and she doesn’t want anyone to see her cry.
And she does cry. It starts with Pictures in My Head and Kermit reminiscing and he and Miss Piggy having broken up, and it continues off and on when Man or Muppet plays and it hits again with The Muppet Show Theme because it’s been years, it’s been years, and she misses her mother who died and she misses her father who is still alive but not her father anymore and she misses her younger brother and watching Muppets and singing songs with him and he could be dying and then Kermit and Piggy and “It’s our song” and Rainbow Connection and it’s Kermit! and then it’s a duet! AND THEN IT IS ALL OF THEM SINGING TOGETHER and Luisa Alver is sitting in a movie theater openly weeping because of the Muppets.
Imagine Luisa Alver leaves the theater and refuses to continue her affair with Rose.
Imagine Luisa Alver leaves the theater and gets rid of any bottle she has left in her apartment.
Imagine Luisa Alver calls Allison up because she wants to be alive again.
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pulitzer, faulkner, dickinson, parchment please?
writer asks
pulitzer: tell about/link a piece where you fielt your writing was the best.
grind. other than the ending. and, like, i know most people don’t like it as much as my other stuff because emilio pov and whatever but i was and still am very happy with how it turned out. i don’t think the coffee/sex/etc. metaphors are super anvillicious (they’re not particularly subtle but like? i’m proud of them? they feel natural to the fic?) and i think it does what it was supposed to do and i actually like it. i was really proud of grind when i wrote it and i’m still proud of it.
faulkner: what tropes do you LOVE writing? which ones are your guilty pleasure?
i...don’t really think about tropes when i’m writing? and i don’t know the names for all of them. >woobie (LUISA FUCKING ALVER), knight in sour armor, determinator.
but story tropes....
trauma conga line.break the cutie.i did what i had to do and discussions around it.i love playing with sliding scales so sliding scale of idealism vs. cynicism is one of my particular favorites. ^^...i also guilty pleasure graphic descriptions of body gore and playing around with cannibalism BUT i don’t think that’s in most of my fanfics. might come up in a handful of dust. probably definitely would’ve come up if i’d done the multi-chap expansion of body, body like i thought about doing oops.bandit likes writing dark topics how did bandit end up writing a lot of romance.
dickinson: what insecurities do you have about your own writing? what do you think you should improve on?
i suck at writing comedy. i have a really hard time making my writing funny. my jokes don’t hit. when there are jokes. i’m just not good at it. (this is actually why i like ‘twas the night before Christmas so much - it actually makes me laugh.)
i’m also not great at having distinctive character voices in terms of dialogue. if i have two similar characters talking at each other with no description and no dialogue tags - petra and rose, maybe - you should be able to tell them apart just by wording and how they speak and etc. and with my writing, i really don’t think you can. i struggle with that a lot.
i’m not good at having my characters interacting with their surroundings. i’ve gotten better at it, but i have to actively fight to be conscious of it sometimes.
also trying to carry on conversations between three or more characters is really hard because inevitably i end up forgetting one or more characters being involved in the conversation. but i think that’s just something that needs practicing and there’s fics that help with that a little bit.
also also my characters do tend to all feel the same...or similar. (there’s a series i started that would have lampshaded that, actually, but that’s another story.) i tend to have a handful of character types/themes and then variations on those themes. how i write miss lint, for instance, feels a lot like how i used to write my very first original character. luisa’s a lot like ara (who is...another character i go back to over and over and over). rose takes some similarities from dana. like - i can follow that. idk.
parchment: how often do you or your personal life influence your writing?
i want to say not as much in fic as it does in novel stuff, but i don’t think that’s rightly true - it’s just...less blatant? XD
my stories throughout high school and college (...and middle school) were very much hugely influenced by my life because that was how i worked through different situations or quandaries i was facing. the book i consider my first novel was basically about a mixture of my ocd and my bpd - both of which were undiagnosed at the time - but in a fantastical sort of etc. setting. crossroads may be super meta but it was also kind of sort of an allegory in how creations relate to a creator (but gets complicated from there because, given that it was metafiction, i didn’t want it to be strict allegory because...obvious reasons, God is God and bandit is not, etc.). ara’s story was dealing with religious issues dealing with being gay (and also bury your gays trope...which is a combination of that and bandit just kills people in bandit’s stories - bandit used to be more whump inclined than romance inclined i blame the rpc and the roisa fandom).
i think it’s much less...like i said, much less blatant now than it was then. XD
there are still definitely aspects of myself in each of my characters - i think, for me, it would be impossible to write these characters if i didn’t connect with them personally in some form or fashion, even the despicable ones (i know this is not true of all writers, but it is true, to some extent, of me). some of them more than others (there’s a lot of me in my rose, and there’s a lot of me in my luisa, and there is significantly more of me in my miss lint, which is probably why i keep bringing her back).and there are definitely slightly more...relevant impacts - i was in iop when i started if you lived here, you’d be home now, which was definitely a huge part of wanting to write that part of luisa’s life. i’d gotten out of a huge explosive fight with my mom when i started and posted the first chapter of luisa and the fox.so, uh, tl;dr - often. frequently. a lot. just. a little more subtle now than it used to be. XD
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