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Bittersweet Escape

Author’s Note: It’s been a while folks. Just wanted to get a few things in order before school started, hope no one forgot about me :). This post is dedicated to @swaggysposts who requested the prompts, and themes of this imagine, so blame her for the tooth-rotting fluff and filthy smut. I just hope I did her fantasy justice. Anyway, its a long one guys, I kind of went off the rails. I seriously dont blame you if you don’t finish reading this one. 😂

Summary: The slow burn relationship between Tony Stark and Y/N, leading up to their honeymoon night.

Warnings: Fluff, Smut, in that order. Age gap, slight daddy/dom kink, slight exhibitionism...and I think that’s it.

Word Count: 15.2k

Disclaimer: while the pictures in this vision board are not mine, the vision board is.

Edited on 19 September 2020. Just did some minor editing and a few changes/additions in dialogue near the end.

You were his assistant. Before you, he couldn’t keep one to save his life. Most of your predecessors couldn’t handle his eccentricity. The ones who could, he fired shortly after sleeping with them. Something about them becoming clingy and demanding special treatment, rubbed him the wrong way.

But, you could perform your job and more, under the pressures of his personality. When I say more, I mean that you basically carried his company from behind the scenes. You also didn’t pay him any mind. This is ultimately what drove him crazy.

How could this beautiful woman—who kept him from drowning, fail to give him the time of day?

Naturally, Tony became obsessed with you. He could not get you out of his head. His interactions with you started off as a joke. He would often tease you, flirt with you, and demand outright ridiculous things of you just to get your attention. He once demanded you give him your opinion on the color orange. The days where he called you in his office to hand him things within two inches of his grasp, were the worst.

You remained a champ, however. No emotion other than content, ever showed up on your face. Some would say your great indifference towards him, is what drew him in. But your beauty, and brilliance certainly didn’t hurt. You were a jack of all trades, that never failed to impress.

As time went on, Tony’s feelings for you gradually shifted into something more. You both now had months of working closely together for him to realize he was hopelessly in love with you. He hung on to your every word. Valued, your every opinion. Did any, and everything just to accomplish what he thought would please you. Still it seemed nothing worked.

On the brink of giving up, Tony found himself drifting towards the break room where you currently resided. He had been laying it on thick that morning with his clever sexually charged suggestions. He felt like an ass for pursuing a woman who didn’t want him. He just couldn’t believe that the one person he actually wanted didn’t want him back. So, he felt the urge to apologize to you profusely, before he heard you mentioning his name.

“…and Stark is pretty amazing. Excruciatingly sexy. I really like him.” You admitted into the phone, sighing for a moment before continuing. “But I know we wouldn’t work out. No, I’m not gonna just ‘fuck him…’” You continued your conversation with the unknown caller, but Tony tuned you out after hearing you say you had no faith in your non-existent relationship with him.

No, he thought. I won’t accept it. He refused to let you throw away a chance at something great.

Come 6:30 pm, well past the end of the workday, you both found yourselves leaving for the elevator. You always left at the same time as him, to avoid the off chance of him needing something long after you were gone.

You, who were always very perceptive of your environment, immediately took notice of your boss’ unusually quiet demeanor. However, you said nothing, as you both descended from the top floor of the Stark Tower.

When you first entered the elevator, he took to the opposite side of you, arms crossed as he leaned against its railing, while you stood in front of its panel. You stole occasional glances, and each time you noticed him observing you. He didn’t even try to hide that fact. You dropped a few floors before the silence began to consume you.

You swiped your tongue over your lip swiftly, before speaking. “Good evening Mr. Stark.” You greeted, offering a tight smile.

“Good evening.” He uttered, as his dark brown orbs remained trained on you.

“What are your plans for dinner tonight?” You asked, just to spark a conversation.

“Why? Are you offering?” He flirted, quirking his brow and lips for a split second.

“I’m craving a seafood pasta.” You informed him, completely ignoring his suggestion.

“Why won’t you give me a chance.” He questioned.

“I haven’t had pasta in a while now.” You said smiling, turning to meet his eyes. When they read to you dourness, you dropped your grin. He was not in the mood for your usual elusive dance.

“I know you have feelings for me, Y/N.” He started. “I heard you admit it today.”

You thought about when he could have possibly heard you say that, until you remembered your phone call with Natasha. Eyes now wide in alarm, you asked “You were eavesdropping on me?”

“Why don’t you think we’ll work out?” Tony asked, trying to mask the vulnerability in his voice. He usually did a great job at hiding his emotions, but you proved to be a challenge. He could never read you, but you never failed at reading him.

You still had a few floors to get through, and you knew you couldn’t avoid your way through this one. Besides, avoiding only worked when Tony thought you were uninterested. You inspected him for a moment, before you gave him your explanation. You felt you at least owed him that.

“Mr. Stark, I do like you. A lot, actually. But I prefer to keep my business separate from my pleasure, whereas you don’t mind blurring those lines.” You looked as if you were about to continue, but Tony jumped the gun before you could.

“Y/N, with all due respect, if we began dating I’d just fire you.” Tony said with a surprising seriousness, causing you to breathe out a laugh. He lit up when he heard the sound.

“No.” Is all you simply said, small grin still plastered on your features.

“Okay, but it can’t just be about working here. You’re brilliant, and you practically run this company. If I were to let you oversee a different division, you wouldn’t be directly under me—”

“I wouldn’t want you to do that, just because you like me.” You interrupted.

“But I wouldn’t.” He told you. “That would be a terrible business move. I would do it, because you genuinely deserve it. All feelings aside.”

The look you read in his eyes, was vastly different from the ones you had seen before. Yes you saw his look of longing, his look of desire, and of lust. But this one revealed his sincerity. He had nothing to gain.

Dropping your head down, you found yourself feeling guilty for some reason. “Mr. Stark—”

“Tony.” He interrupted.

“Mr. Stark,” You corrected, ignoring his look of disappointment. Getting on a first name basis could mean becoming too close. “You’re right: it isn’t just about business for me. If that were the case, i’d just find another job.” You began gnawing at your lip, something you often did when you got nervous. “Its about a secret I have.”

“I love secrets.” Tony chuckled.

“Well you won’t like this one.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Its actually quite embarrassing.”

“Just tell me. I won’t judge you” Tony guaranteed.

Before you could start your sentence, the elevator chimed, signaling you that you have reached the first floor.

You couldn’t make a move, before Tony crossed to your side of the elevator. It felt like time slowed when his scent and proximity enveloped you. An inviting smokey aroma, and a hint of black coffee, invaded your senses, sending your mind into a frenzy for a short moment. Then it all stopped almost as soon as it started. He was back to his side of the box. You wondered what that was all about, until you felt the lift move again. When you looked at the panel, about 15 buttons were lit up.

“Are you out of your fucking mind Stark?” You shrieked.

“You have that effect on me.” He casually replied.

“What is your problem?” You cried.

“You.” He answered.

“This isn’t a joke, why would you do that?”

“So you could tell me your secret.” He looked at you as if you were being absurd.

“I would have told you just fine outside of the elevator.”

“So we could be alone together.” He said stepping closer once more.

“I’m your personal assistant. We’re always alone together.”

“So I could do this.” Swifter than his earlier movements, Tony was on you in an instant. He cupped your cheeks so he could meet your lips with his. The kiss felt like you had done it before. It felt like his lips were made for kissing yours. He didn’t even have to gauge what he thought you liked, he just knew. He knew your lips would bend to his will. He knew your tongue would be submissive to his. He even knew, your small hands would find their home around his neck.

Turning his head ever so slightly to deepen the connection, his tongue darted inside your mouth, tangling with yours. Your hands each went into their own directions; one traveled the side of his face, while the other journeyed across the expanse of his shoulder.

His hands took a trip of their own. While one remained fastened to your jaw, the other took a tour along the length of your body, taking note of every reaction, excited to learn your person. You moaned when he reached the middle of your back—the action sending tingles up your spine, as he pulled you closer to him. Relishing in the mewl, Tony caressed the area, willing more sounds like the previous one.

Before he could explore you more, you unwillingly broke the connection. Both of you gasping for air, Tony wanted to be the first to speak. His pupils were now blown and his lips a darker shade of pink. He steadied himself, by placing a hand on the wall beside your head. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay” you assured, trying to catch your breath.

“No. I should of asked.” Bringing the hand that was on your cheek slightly down to your lips, he brushed the area with his thumb, spreading the wetness into the skin. He leaned in for a calmer kiss, capturing your bottom lip between his , sucking softly before letting it go. “What was your secret?” He rasped.

You were so lost in his eyes, you were barely able to comprehend his words, let alone that he asked a question. “What?” You exhaled, shaking your head slightly in wonderment. You were still surprised a mere kiss could get you so shaken.

Tony pulled away from you, grasping the railing behind your back, caging you into one place. “I asked, what was your secret.” He smirked, happy to finally be the one making you disoriented.

“Oh! My secret!” You yapped, at the sudden recollection. So caught up in him, you forgot why you shouldn’t be. Collecting yourself, as well as your thoughts, you braced yourself for his reaction. Breathing in a deep breath of air you blurted “I don’t sleep with people I like” shutting your eyes as soon as you uttered the words.

Tony stood upright after a moment, dropping his hands, confused more than upset, though you expected him to be the latter. “What do you mean?” He asked.

You furrowed your brows and gazed up to gauge his expression, before continuing. “I mean if I really like a person, I won’t sleep with them.”

“Wouldn’t you rather sleep with a person you like, than one you don’t?” He questioned.

“Well, yeah.” You stood up straight, and hung your head down. He almost made you feel silly. “But, um. Well…I haven’t had the best luck with my previous relationships. The eagerness to have sex seemed to be the common denominator. So I promised myself I’d wait until I knew I really liked the person and they liked me. The only problem with that, is that it seems no man wants to date a woman who’s practicing abstinence.”

“And you haven’t given me a chance, because you assume I’d be one of those men.” Tony presumed.

You let out a playful scoff. “Assume? I know for a fact you’d be.”

“What gives you that idea?”

“I know how you are with women.”

“How am I with women, Y/N?” He dared, awaiting an answer that he could explain away.

“Oh. Are we doing this?” You dared back, raising a brow and a smirk. He nodded matching your sneer. “Just this morning, you asked me why I was a bit groggy. I told you, it was because I lost a few hours of sleep. And do you know what you told me? If I ever want to lose a few more, I should consider losing them with you.”

His eyes formed into thin slits and he pressed his lips in a firm line, cringing at his own words. “Y/N” he started, as he repeated a tsk noise with his mouth. “Sweetheart, I was merely suggesting that I could keep you busy, by putting those lost hours to good use.”

“And how would you put them to use, Mr. Stark?” You purred, crooking your head to look at him through hooded eyes, and small smug grin.

“Um…” He pondered, trying to avoid answering “with sex” like he normally would.

“That’s what I thought.” You whispered. You were a little disappointed to know, that he only wanted you in the way every man wanted you. By this point, the elevator reached the first floor again, but this time you were prepared. Taking advantage of his distracted state, you slipped through the doors. But Tony wasn’t through with you yet.

You felt his fingers wrap around your wrist. When you snapped your neck around to his direction, he spoke. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed this or not, but I’ve been pining after you for months now.” He explained, relieving his grasp on you once he was comfortable that you wouldn’t leave. “Most women throw themselves at me. And it isn’t very hard to seduce the ones who don’t. This means, that besides you, I could have practically any one I want.”

You violently rolled your eyes and blew air threw your nostrils, “And your point is, Stark?” Your hands were now glued to your hips in annoyance.

“My point is, that I don’t want any other woman. I want you. And yes, I wanna sleep with you, but I also wanna sleep with you.” He exaggerated his words, putting emphasis on ‘sleep’ the second time around.

You contorted your face into disgust. “Okay I get it, you really wanna sleep with me.”

“No! Fuck.” He palmed his face in frustration, dragging the hand down slowly to gather his thoughts. “I’m explaining this all wrong. I’m trying to say, I wanna hold you through the night. I wanna wake up and you’re there. I wanna make you smile, and I wanna make you laugh. I would spoil you rotten if you gave me the chance. If I didn’t make myself clear before, I will now: I want you, Y/N. And I know you must think of me as some arrogant son of a bitch, who only wants what’s between those legs” He let his eyes flicker down to your legs, lingering there for a moment before gazing back up to you. “But give me the opportunity to show you that I want so much more.”

He left you breathless moments before in the elevator, and speechless now. “Mr. Stark, I—”

“Tony. Please say my name.” He pleaded, his almond eyes piercing into your soul. It was rare for you to look so vulnerable. You have perfected masking your emotions. So he drank your vulnerability in while he could.

“Tony.” You said tenderly, tasting the word on your tongue for what felt like the first time. He also took pleasure in hearing you say it. You remained formal to his face your entire relationship, so it felt like you were both reintroducing yourselves all over again. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Then don’t say anything. Let me take you out to dinner tomorrow night. I can—wait no, I will get you the best damn pasta, you’ve ever tasted.” He smiled, when you chuckled. “We will spend the night, getting to know each other a bit more. Then, I’ll walk you home, instead of driving, so that we can take in the city. When we get to your place, I’ll give you a kiss goodnight like the perfect gentleman I am. And then I’ll turn around and go home, to think about you until the next time we see each other.” He promised.

You were in awe at the thought, but were still unsure. “I don’t know.” You answered, averting your gaze from his. You knew that he was a player, and you were afraid he’d hurt you. What if this is all some elaborate plan to get inside my panties? You thought.

Tony grabbed your hands, bringing both of them up between the two of you, willing you to look at him. “Please give me a chance.” He begged, silently pleading with his eyes.

And you, seriously thought about what the harm could be. If he ignored your wishes, then he wasn’t the one. Simple as that. So you said yes to his dinner proposal.

♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡

He almost lost all of his composure, when you stepped out of your apartment in the little black crushed velvet dress that hugged your curves in just the right way. You paired it with black wedge heels, that made your delicious brown legs look like they went on for miles. Your hair was done up strategically so, to accentuate your appetizing neckline, and the dark red matte lipstick you wore made your lips look sultry. It was very obvious that you were purposefully trying to test him. But to your happy dismay, he was everything he said he would be.

You had your first date on his private yacht, that overlooked the city. While you could still see New York, you were out far enough to where you could also view the stars. You lived in the city your entire life, and had only ever seen them once or twice. Already, on your first night together it felt like he was spoiling you.

He ordered the most expensive wine for the table, consuming an entire cupful in one gulp, when he watched you wrap your lips around your glass just to stain it with red lipstick. He wished it was his skin instead. He meant it when he told you, sex wasn’t everything, but damn it, that didn’t mean he didn’t want you screaming his name. Still he promised to be the perfect gentlemen, and that’s exactly what he was.

After ordering you the best damn pasta you ever tasted, you competed with each other, almost as if you were trying to see who could find out the most about the other. He saw an entirely new side of you. You were usually so secretive about your private life before, so he took advantage of the newfound courage the wine gave you. You were also happy to see his more carefree side. He was always carefree, but his usual happy-go-lucky spirit was paired with a suffocating arrogance that never failed to annoy you. This one was genuine, and it was because he no longer had to worry about whether or not you wanted him.

After dinner, he instructed his driver to take you both over halfway back to your place, before you walked the rest. It was about a fifteen minute trek to your apartment, and he took advantage of every second. Every one of them was fleeting, as he fell more and more in love with you. He learned of your interests. Of your desires. Of your fears that came from dating. When you were finished talking, he urged you to continue, dying to know more about the woman who captured his heart. You wanted to know more about him too, but Tony suggested another date in order to satisfy your interests in him. You smiled, at hearing him propose another outing before your first one was even over.

When you reached your door, he wasted no time in placing his hands along your hips to pull you in for a kiss. This one was less feverish than the one you shared in the lift, but it still conveyed how much he longed for you. He took his time, as he moved his mouth against yours, tongue swiping against your bottom lip, begging for your permission to enter. You granted it, and like before he explored you with his tongue. He didn’t back away very far, in fact he didn’t back away at all. Instead, he let his lips slightly brush across the area that connected your cheek to your ear, whispering a “Goodnight, Y/N” Before dropping his hands, and turning to leave.

He left you hot and bothered, as you stood outside your door watching him walk away. This is gonna be so fucking hard, you thought.

♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡

Your relationship began almost immediately after that night. He wanted to make you wait until the following Monday before speaking with you again, but you refused to wait that long. Tony being older preferred talking on the phone, instead of texting, despite being a tech genius. When you contacted him through iMessage to ensure he got home safely, he called you immediately to tease you for worrying about him. After you brushed him off, you spent the entire night talking to each other, falling asleep to the sound of the others voice.

He sent flowers to your doorstep, the following Monday after your date. It just sort of became a tradition after that. Sometimes they’d get delivered to your apartment, other days to the office (he loved to see your smile, when you’d find them on your desk). Each time they’d be a different kind with a note attached to them that expressed their meaning. Under the meaning would be a message from Tony himself. Sometimes the messages were cheesy, and other times very heartfelt.

The first bouquet was filled with pink peonies, that according to Tony represented romance and good fortune. They were his attempt at welcoming the success of your new relationship. He even said so in his inscription to you. ‘To the beginning of something beautiful’, he wished.

After your second date, he sent you yellow pansies, that meant he was thinking of you. In that inscription he begged you to ‘Please slow down, when you race through my mind’. The fifth date, was followed by honeysuckles. They declared his devoted affections to you. Their inscriptions insured that you were the only girl on his brain.

By the time your seventh date came, asters were his flowers of choice. Patience, was all the card said. He sent those after the first night you spent together at his place. You couldn’t keep your hands off of him.

After the date ended, and he took you home, you barely even gave him the chance to unlock and open the door before you were dragging him towards the nearest couch. You shoved him down on it when you reached it, throwing your thighs on either side of his, before devouring his lips. Rocking your hips against his, you consumed his growls of pleasure. He planted his fingertips in you thighs, slowly inching them upwards towards the hem of your dress. You left sweet pecks along his jaw, before decorating his neck with colorful bruises.

“Y/N, stop.” Tony ordered through gritted teeth. He felt his dick hardening beneath your movements, but you didn’t listen. Instead, you sucked, nipped, and licked at his skin, dragging your teeth over his throat. When you reached a particularly sensitive spot, he bucked his groin into yours, releasing a nasty groan that sounded like pure sex. Like a flash of lightening, his hands were on your hips, removing them from his as he placed you on the seat next to him. Your legs still dangled over his lap, and you looked at him with a wounded expression that was mixed with confusion.

“What’s wrong? Don’t you want me?” You asked, adjusting your dress, now feeling very insecure.

Tony was busy adjusting himself too (his pants felt tighter than usual), before he snapped his neck to question you. “What? Of course I want you. Doesn’t it feel like I want you?” He questioned, gesturing towards his prominent bulge. Your look of bewilderment turned into a smug smile as you took note of how big it seemed. “I just want to respect your wishes.” He added, smiling at your expression.

“But, I know how you feel about me now.” You assured him, leaning in for his neck again. He gripped your wrist when your hand traveled towards his zipper. He placed it near your side, before speaking.

“I wanna make sure our first time is perfect. Don’t you think you deserve that?” He asked. You had changed him. The Tony from a year ago would have ravaged you the second you asked him. But this one wanted to make sure there wasn’t a doubt in your mind before you slept together.

“Tony, I don’t care about perfect, I want you now.” You stated, leaning in once again to tongue your name into his skin. He cupped your face firmly with the hand that was on your jaw, beckoning you to stop and look at him.

“Be patient, princess.” He whispered, placing a peck on your lips.

You began to pout, as you threw your legs off of his to sit properly on the couch. You let the cushions swallow you, as you wore your disappointment in your face. Tony chuckled darkly at the sight before him, enjoying how cute you were being. He tucked his leg under the other to turn his attention fully around to you, letting his palm catch his chin as his elbow lay propped against the back of the couch.

“Y/N,” He cooed, when you remained focused on the nothingness in the distance. “Y/N,” he purred again, yet still he was met with silence as you trained your eyes on the air around you. When he reached to palm the inside of your thigh, he felt you tense up. He traced love notes against the exposed skin, dropping his free hand down to brush a strand of hair behind your ear. He lightly connected his lips to the shell of said ear, before he spoke.

“Just know, that when I finally do get my hands on you,” He paused to grip the inside of your thigh, parting your legs slightly before continuing, “I’m not gonna stop until your legs are shaking.” He promised. And with that, he pulled away excusing himself from the room, while you released a shaky breath you didn’t even realize you were holding.

There were plenty of nights like that one. Your favorite ways to relieve some of the sexual tension were, heavy make-out sessions, risky cuddling, and phone sex. You heard each other’s pants and moans before you would even see the other naked.

Taking your mind off of sex seemed to be the best solution, however. You were still eager to do it, but Tony took your original idea of abstinence and ran with it. He would never admit to you that you hurt him when you assumed he just wanted to get in your pants. He really liked you, and he was gonna make sure you knew it. That being said, you both did any and everything to keep your minds off of what the other looked like without clothes on.

You both loved to spoil each other. He was the mastermind behind your more extravagant dates, but you orchestrated your more low-key outings. He would always argue that they were better than any he could have ever thought of, but you would debate the opposite.

Picnics in open fields, ice skating in central park, even camping in the woods were places Tony made happy memories with you.

Six months passed since you two got together, and your apartment looked like a floral shop due to the amount of flowers he delivered to you. You desperately fought to preserve them. Though most would die, you saved the ones that wouldn’t, framing them with the notes he sent to you.

You found red tulips one afternoon after work. You found it very odd, since he always sent you flowers after a date, instead of before one. He always sent them after, to relay his thoughts about how you made him feel. There was no flower meaning under the tulips, just a note from him saying, ‘For a very special woman, and a very special evening’.

He always said things similar to the message above, so while you smiled and held the note and flowers close, you thought nothing of it as you prepared for your six month anniversary.

♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡

“This is where we had our first date!” You beamed, sitting down in the chair as Tony pulled it out for you. He had you blindfolded on the ride there, but as soon as you smelled the sea, heard the seagulls, and felt your heels click against the boardwalk, you put two and two together on where you were.

“Sure is.” He smiled, as he took the seat in front of you. The warm candle light, instantly lit up his face. He was always clean-cut and prided himself in his attire, but you couldn’t help but notice he was more dressed up for this occasion.

“It’s still just as beautiful as ever.” You cried, head moving from side to side every so often because you couldn’t decide on which was prettier; the heavens or NY’s silhouette.

“And this is the part where I say, ‘it could never be as beautiful as you, dear.’” Tony cooed, only half-serious.

“Even your cheesy lines couldn’t ruin tonight.” You joked.

“Oh baby, I wouldn’t think about ruining tonight. It is our six month anniversary after all.”

“It is? Has it really been that long?” You asked, feigning ignorance.

“Ouch. Y/N, that stings.” He winced, mocking hurt.

“I’m sorry Tony, I guess I lose track of time when I’m with you.” You purred.

“And you call me cheesy.” He mumbled, cheeks sporting a tint of pink. You couldn’t tell if it was from the cool night’s air, or your comments.

You chose to ignore it. “Wait, so is that why you sent me those tulips? They were beautiful.”

“Yes it is.” He replied.

“You didn’t include their meaning. Could it be you’re running out of ideas? That would explain why you took me back to the yacht.” You teased.

He scoffed at you. “I could never run out of ideas. I’ll take you around the world, as soon as I know you’re willing to let me.”

His words left you confused. “Wha—”

You interrupted yourself when you heard the sound of soft music. You looked over to see that a lady dressed in white had taken her place in front of a harp. She was playing a gentle melody, when a man with a violin sat down beside her. They played their music so beautifully, it would have made angels weep.

“This is amazing…but where the hell did they come from?” You questioned, making Tony chuckle.

“Oh I keep ‘em under the ship. I only feed ‘em on occasion so they know to come back to me.”

“Okay smart-ass.” You laughed, leaning over to grasp his hand. You thought he seemed tense on the ride here and now. He wasn’t his usual chatty self, and only threw jokes here and there. You stroked the back of his hand with your thumb, and took your other hand to rub circles in his palm, something you learned that eased his nerves. “What’s wrong, baby?”

“Nothing. I just want tonight to be perfect.”

“Why?”

“Well because…” He paused for a moment, breaking his eyes from yours. “Shit, well maybe this will help me say what I want to say.” He gestured towards someone with a “come here” hand motion, and not a minute later a huge bouquet of roses got placed in front of you.

Your eyes were wide in wonder as you tried to comprehend the meaning of it. “Tony, this has to be over 100 flowers!”

“108 to be exact.”

“108?! I don’t think my apartment can withstand any more of these!”

“If tonight goes well, that will no longer be a problem.”

You didn’t hear what he said, as you were busy searching the roses in awe. Tony had sent you every flower in the book, but never roses. They were the symbol most known for someone who was in love, or falling in it, yet he never gave them to you. You searched the bouquet for a note but found nothing. “The tulips had no message either. I have to say, as much as I tease you for writing them, I always look forward to what you have to say.” You confessed to him, thinking you had shamed him into hiding his words.

“What I want to say, should be said in person, rather than on a notecard. The tulips stand for love.” He cleared his throat before speaking again. “I have fallen, so deeply in love with you, I can’t even find myself. But if I’m being honest Y/N, I don’t really want to.”

“Tony.” You gasped, heart beating a mile a minute.

“Please let me finish. I’m so nervous, I could choke.” He was sweating bullets, despite the cold night’s air. You grasped both his hands with yours, gazing into his eyes as he spoke, urging him to continue which only seemed to make him more timid. In an attempt to pull away, he spilled his water on your dress. The cold liquid made you jump up, causing the table in front of you to flip over. Bread, glasses, and candles littered the floor, and your servers were running around like chickens with their heads cut off. Tony threw cloth at the ground, as he tried to extinguish the candle fire before it got out of control. “I’m so sorry baby! Oh fuck, I ruined everything.”

“No, no, no, no, no! I’m the one who started the fire. But Tony, look: the flames are out, the view is still perfect, and the roses are still in tact.” You said, picking up the flowers as you tried to make light of the situation. You caused him to laugh, which eased his nerves a bit.

“The roses.” He sighed. “These little sons of bitches were supposed to make this situation easier.”

“What is so hard about saying I love you. I’ve wanted to say it to you for a while now, I just never had the guts.” You told him blushing a bit. Changing the subject, you said, “You certainly didn’t need 108 roses to tell me. Why that specific number anyway?”

He now felt confident in hearing you say you loved him too. “I’m surprised you waited this long to ask me. It means,” He paused, to get down on one knee. “Will you marry me?”

He could read the surprise in your features, as he took the roses from your hand. He pulled the middle rose out of the bouquet to reveal a ring tucked discreetly around its stem, thorns, and leaves. A beautiful Champagne colored diamond, sat between his fingers as he searched your eyes for answers.

“Yes!” You breathed out, dropping to your knees to throw your arms around his neck. You were teary eyed, as you kissed his cheeks.

This night, on your six month anniversary, you expected Tony to finally make a move in bed. Instead, he left you happier than you could have ever imagined as his fiancé.

♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡

4 months later.

You were originally gonna get married two months after his proposal, but the girls felt that wasn’t enough time to plan your fairytale dream. While Okoye and Natasha gave Tony a run for his money planning the wedding and honeymoon, Wanda and Nakia helped calm your pre-wedding jitters.

Nat and Tony were constantly at each other’s throats about how things should go. Where she wanted simple and elegant, he wanted flamboyant and extravagant. She was constantly trying to cater to your style and aesthetic, while Tony wanted things to be over-the-top perfect for you in order to make your night one to remember forever. Okoye mostly stayed out of the planning. She only went along with the two to threaten Tony every minute about treating you right. “Be good to her. Or I’ll kill you.” She whispered to him as you guys went cake-tasting. “If you hurt her, I’ll slit your throat.” She smiled to him, while venue-picking. It was safe to say, he hated your friends, but one thing they all had in common was their love for you.

You couldn’t stand being around those three when they were in a room together. They wouldn’t let you lay a finger on the planning anyway, so Tony asked Nakia to keep you happy. As his wedding gift to you, he treated you all to a pampering fit for queens. Nakia was in charge of the bridal shower, spas, hair salons, photoshoots, etc., all courtesy to Tony. These were all the ways you occupied yourself before the wedding.

The night of your bachelorette party was one of your fondest memories. You and your friends got black-out drunk as you laughed, teased, and cried with each other.

“Here’s to Y/N, on marrying the moesinsufabullbasterd on planet earth” Natasha slurred, raising (and spilling) a martini. You assumed she was trying to say the “most insufferable bastard”, but it came out in jumbles instead.

Hiccup. “Heeesna thaa bahd.” You slurred back, playfully shoving the girl. Your words were just as incoherent as hers.

Your response caused Okoye to erupt in laughter, before her head promptly slammed onto the table for the rest of the night. She was now alongside Val and Carol who had both passed out within the first hour. Whenever those two got together they always drank like monsters.

Wanda who was rocking back and forth, looked at you suddenly and began to weep. For the eighth time tonight. “My baby’s getting married.” You were trying to hold it together, but her tears caused you and Nat to explode. You were three sniveling women, holding each other close as you guys bawled in your booth.

Nakia, the only one who could hold her alcohol, was done with everyone’s shit so she shushed you all. “Enough. I have gifts to exchange.” While Natasha and Wanda continued weeping, Nakia grabbed your shoulders, and beckoned you to pay attention. “Y/N, I know you’re hanging on by a thread here, but you need to listen very closely. I am going to teach you to please a man.”

Hiccup. “Nakiaaaaaa, I’m not a virgin silly.” You affirmed, slapping her bare arm.

“I know. But you haven’t been with another person in over a year.”

It was true. You and Tony have been a couple for exactly one year. Its been over 365 days since the two of you had even been laid. You still hadn’t even touched each other. You see, it was Tony’s bright idea to suggest waiting until you were married. He had played the waiting game long enough, so he thought why not? “This will make the event even more special.” He said to you, and to himself.

Little did he know, he would regret it. He didn’t anticipate the wait to be this long. You no longer cared about it as much as you thought you would. You were too busy worrying about the big day. But it was all that Tony could think about. He was on the verge of being feral the closer your special night approached.

“We have to get you prepared.” Nakia continued. “That is why I brung these.” It was then that she handed you her gift bag. You looked inside to find, a dildo, vibrator, blindfold, handcuffs, etc. There were things ranging from special pills to make you wetter, to anal beads. Everything was a toy, or something related to sex. The bag was filled to the brim. You didn’t know why you were so surprised: Nakia was always the more kinky friend.

“No, Nakia!” You yapped, a little embarrassed. You were horrified. “I’ll know how to make him happy.” You slid the bag across the table, but Nakia slid it back.

“Well these will help you if you want to spice things up.”

You slid it back again. “No thank you.”

“I insist.” She said, sliding it back once again. You guys played that game for a while, but you were so drunk you could play it all night.

“Fine, you stubborn child!” She joked, finally conceding. “But don’t come crying to me when you find yourself clamming up in your suite’s bathroom.” Though she was joking, you couldn’t help but find yourself growing anxious.

What if you weren’t enough for him? What if after all this time, you didn’t live up to his standards? He had been waiting so long for this, what if he expected your first time to be beyond amazing? What if you couldn’t give him that?

You thought about Tony, who was having a bachelor party of his own with Sam, Bruce, Clint, Thor, Bucky and Steve, and you wondered if they were having a conversation about the honeymoon too. You thought about how his friends were probably teasing him about how wild you were gonna be, since you’ve been sex-deprived for so long. Was he gonna still love you if you weren’t?

You pushed those thoughts to the back of your head, and tried to enjoy the rest of the evening. You looked up and waved to the bartender, shouting “Can we have another round?”

♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡

The ceremony was wonderful, the reception even more so. You had the time of your life, with the people you loved, while they watched you marry the man you loved. Natasha and Tony found a middle-ground to make the day both extravagant and elegant. It was a dream.

But as soon it was all over, your mind drifted towards the honeymoon. The two of you were finally welcoming the world for the first time as a married couple.

“Y/N Stark. Mrs. Tony Stark. Mrs. Anthony Edward Stark. Mrs. Y/N Stark.” You practiced to yourself. You repeated his name, which was now yours, over and over in various ways, as you guys sat on his private jet. You would think you were on the brink of driving Tony insane, but he’d be a liar if he said he didnt find it cute. “Why yes, I am Y/N, but you can call me Mrs. Stark. AHH, Tony I’m so excited!” You cheered, slapping his arm repeatedly out of elation. Your outburst, startled him from his newspaper. He had managed to tune out your rambles for most of the flight, but little moments like these were hard to ignore.

“Christ, sweetheart. If I didn’t know any better, I would think you were happier with my name, than you are with me.” He laughed, rubbing his arm.

“It’s not that. I’m just excited!” You beamed. “We’re married! I have your last name.” Suddenly, you leaned into him, willing him to meet you halfway so you could whisper into his ear. When Tony lowered his head to humor you, you said. “Hey…Between you and me: I could kiss the next person who calls me Mrs. Stark.” You confessed, slumping back down into your plane seat to daydream some more.

Tony looked at nothing for a second before repeating your gestures from earlier that willed you to lean closer. When you leaned back in, he whispered, “I wouldn’t get that excited, dear. Those lips belong to me now.” He teased, slumping back down before saying, “Mrs. Stark.” He winked as he said the words.

“Eek!” You shrilled, as soon as the words left his lips. You threw yourself over the arm of your seat to place wet smooches all over the side of his face. Tony sat still, closing his eyes as he basked in them all. He looked at you confused when you suddenly ceased your actions.

“Hey, who told you to stop.” He asked, but your attention was on something else. Snapping his fingers in your face he gave up when he lost to whatever held your gaze.

With eyes full of wonder you said, “Wow! This is gorgeous!” You were gaping the moment the clouds revealed the beautiful island of Kauai. Like the wedding, your honeymoon was a complete surprise, which meant you had no idea where he was taking you. “Look at that view!” You gasped, as you admired the clear blue waters, trees, and mountains.

This was gonna be one trip to remember.

♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡

“Damn!” You sounded, as soon as he opened the doors to your vacation home. “You’ve really outdone yourself, Stark. This is beautiful.” You felt like you said those words in your one year relationship with Tony, more than you have in your entire life.

“Honestly baby, when are you gonna stop being so surprised.” Tony questioned as he tipped the driver, who also helped lug your bags up. He shut the doors and spun around on his feet to find you admiring the view in amazement. Taking slow strides across the room to meet you, he wrapped his hands around your waist, burying his face in the crook of your neck. Your dress slid up slightly as he pressed his front against your back. Traveling hands turned into curious ones as they smoothed themselves over the expanse of your thighs through your dress’ thin material.

You felt his hardening member poking your lower back. “Woah! Someone’s excited to meet me.” You chuckled, neck heating up.

“Try dying.” He responded, squeezing your upper waist before traveling down your stomach.

“Do you really wanna do this here?” You asked gasping, when you felt his feather light kisses on your neck develop into nips and licks.

He gripped your waist a little tighter before rasping, “I wanna do it in every room of this house, but yea we can start here.”

“Tony, quit it. We have so much to do!” You whined, dropping his hands, to skitter away, leaving him in that exact position. Heat burning in your loins, you ignored it to grab your bags from the door. You dragged your luggage to the master bedroom, as you ignored his stalk towards you. Tony, who was hot on your trail, threw himself down on the bed in front of you, laying in a silly, yet seductive, pose.

You playfully scoffed at his antics. Crossing the room back and forth, to place clothes in your wardrobe, you asked him,“So what’s on the agenda first? The aquarium, bike-riding, snorkeling? Ooo! Should we go hiking?”

He pondered for a moment, placing a finger to his chin to simulate deep-thinking. “Well actually, I was thinking maybe we could break the bed in first.” He suggested, a devilish grin plastered on his features.

You chucked a pair of rolled up summer pants at him, which landed on his face, dropping to expose his stoic expression. “No! You promised we would do some fun activities when we got here!”

“That is a fun activity. Why go bike riding out in the summer’s heat, when you could ride me right here while in the comfort of your own home?”

“Ugh! You promised!” You giggled, stomping a foot for dramatic purposes. “Besides, you’re the one who said, we should wait until our wedding night. It’s not even 10:00 am.”

“If you actually listened to me, I said, and I quote, ‘Let’s wait until we’re married.’” Tony clarified, sitting up to pull you between his legs, “And now we’re married.”

You gazed down at him with a stern look that read ‘I’m going to win this’. He gazed back, matching your features, as if to say the same. The both of you were trying to see who would break first. “I don’t have time for this.” You declared after a moment. Tony just sighed as a reply, dropping his head on the mattress.

You elected to ignore him, and went back to unpacking, but yelped when you came across something surprising. Tony, who was busy playing with a pair of your panties, didn’t notice what surprised you, but couldn’t help but notice your squeal.

“What’s wrong?” He questioned, trying to peek at whatever you were hiding under the shirt in your suitcase.

“Nothing.” You lied, in a sweet tone. He saw right through it though, and began to pry your fingers away. Revealing his findings, he was happy to see the plethora of toys in your suitcase. Nakia couldn’t fit all that she bought you, but what she did manage to slip in while you weren’t paying attention, was more than enough for Tony to work with.

“Woah, woah, woah! Look at what we have here.” Tony gleamed, marveling at a pair of furry black handcuffs. His face was as bright as the day he met you. You were blushing furiously, when he came across a small pink vibrator. “Y/N, you are such naughty girl.” He teased.

You immediately tried explaining yourself. “I didn’t put that stuff in there. Nakia must of snuck it in while I—”

“Thank you Nakia. I always knew I liked her more than all of your other friends.” Tony joked interrupting you. Then, his eyes lit up when they set upon a pair of interesting looking underwear. His shit-eating grin, turned into a wicked one as he thought about a clever idea.

“Here’s the deal.” He started

“No, to whatever it is, Stark.” You interrupted before he could propose a stream of bullshit.

“Come on. At least hear me out.”

“What is it?” You sighed, supposing you could humor him.

“If you wear these, I’ll go anywhere you want.” He pulled a pair of lacy black panties from the suitcase. They looked harmless enough, until you saw something bulky protruding from their seat.

“Are those, what I think they are?” You asked. Your friend was seriously a fiend.

“Yup.” Tony said, popping his lips as he said the word. A small smile, took over his lips, as he eyed you. He taunted you with those smug brown eyes.

You eyed him back, mouth agape, as you thought carefully. You knew he didn’t peg you for taking many risks, but you wanted to wipe that smug expression right off his face. “Anywhere I want?”

“Anywhere you want.” He mimicked in a promising tone.

“Fine.”

“Fine.” He mimicked again, in disbelief that you actually agreed, but he let his face convey that same smug expression. “Well princess, what are you waiting for?” He asked, dangling the pair of lace on his pointer finger for you to take.

You decided that if he was gonna play games, you’d at least try to play them better. “Put them on for me.”

It was then that Tony’s grin dropped. His eyes that already danced with lust, turned a darker shade of brown. “What?” He asked, voice a tinge huskier than before.

“Put. Them. On. For me.” You reiterated, speaking slower. Your smile was the smug one this time. You steadied yourself between his legs again, placing your hands firmly against his shoulders.

Tony placed his tongue between his cheek before his eyes formed into thin slits. Then his face went blank, save his eyes that still burned with passion.

Without taking the brown orbs away from yours, he took his time dragging his hands up your legs and to your thighs. He admired the supple skin beneath his touch, as they came dangerously close to your heat.

You were beginning to regret your teasing, when he dug his fingers in the elastic of your waistband, and tugged the flimsy material down. You stepped out of them, suddenly feeling bare as he tossed your underwear to the side. This, was the closest you had ever come to being naked in front of him. He then slipped the vibrating panties around your feet, brung them up your thighs, and stretched the material until it released with a snap that stung and burned your skin. The action made you whimper, and that brung a smile back to Tony’s otherwise unreadable face.

He then placed the black remote that controlled the panties into his front pocket. “You’re gonna regret teasing me like that.” He warned playfully. But you believed him.

♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡

This is a fucking game to him, You thought as you sat down for drinks. Tony was playing with that damned remote everywhere you went. He pressed it when you guys went to the aquarium. He pressed it when you went sight-seeing. He pressed it while you were on your famous attraction tour. And now, he was currently pressing it while you suffered silently.

Everything, was cut short to less than forty minutes. Everything. But you figured that was his point. The faster you guys got this over with, the faster he could get you back home. Of course he didn’t want to ruin your honeymoon, but at the same time he knew you guys would be here for a week, which gave you plenty of time to complete everything on the itinerary. And if you didn’t have enough time, he could schedule to stay longer.

Besides, it was amusing to him, watching you squirm in your seat. Watching your eyes roll to the back of your head. He loved the sight of your hardening nipples, through the thin fabric of your dress. And though he was frustrated from your earlier teasing, and was doing this to get back at you, it quickly stopped being about that when he heard your pants and whimpers. Now he was doing it, solely to get you off. However, he hadn’t let you cum yet. He just wanted to bring you to edge, and see how far he could take you before you begged him to fuck you.

“Can we have two Mai Tai’s” You asked the waiter. Your voice went through at least two notes as you said it. Before you got there, you begged him to make the order, but he wouldn’t show you any mercy.

A worried look etched its way onto the younger man’s face. “Yes ma’am, but are you okay? Should I call a medic?”

“No!” You said a little louder than usual, hoping he couldn’t hear the low buzz of the vibrator. “Its just a slight tummy ache is all.” You lied, moaning a bit at the end. Your fists were clenched tightly above the table, as you tried to ignore what was going on beneath it.

“Okay.” The waiter replied, worry still on his features. He shuffled away to prepare your drinks, leaving you alone with Tony.

“Isn't this view just lovely?” Tony asked, watching the waves of the beach crash against sharp rocks and wet sand. You couldn’t help but feel like that ocean, as your dam threatened to snap for the fifth time that day.

When you didn’t reply, he increased the remote’s level, making you buck forward in your seat, just to lower the intensity back down again. “You okay, sweetheart?” Tony asked you sweetly. The look on his face read sincerity, and if you didn’t know any better you would of thought he was being genuine.

“Bite me, Stark.” You spat.

“If that’s what you want.” He whispered, hands slightly shaking from how turned on he was. “Whenever you want to go home, just say the word.”

You sat up straight, glowering at him. “Oh baby I’m fine. We can still go hiking if that’s what you were worried about.”

He exhaled a dark chortle, before bringing himself closer to you. “Y/N, we can always go hiking tomorrow.” He placed his warm hand at the top of the line on your back, trailing it down your spine. “Now why don’t you let me take you back home, so I can make us both feel better.” He was currently flicking the buttons of the controller, back and forth, so that you were on edge one second, then falling back down the next.

“Fuck you.” You bit through gritted teeth. Your face was contorted in pure ecstasy, and your thighs went back and forth between being glued together and wide open. You were usually such a good girl for him, but this teasing was bringing out a brat. Tony wasn’t having any of it.

“Okay.” Was all he said, before increasing the remote to its highest level, leaving it there to finish you off.

An embarrassingly loud wail escaped your throat, just as your waiter was heading back with your drinks. He just stared at you in shock, cheeks a brilliant shade of red, while your mouth just hung open. Tony, the cause of it all, nonchalantly played with the straps of your dress and pieces of stray hair, unfazed your embarrassment, nor the waiter’s.

You held your head down, took your drink to begin sipping, before you turned to him, shame and regret swallowing you. “I’m ready to go home now.”

♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡

As soon as you two made it back to the house, you sprinted through the house, and flung yourself into the bedroom slamming its door shut. Tony took his time trudging in your direction, figuring you were still pissed at him.

He knocked his head against the door, and said “Little pig, little pig, let me come in.” In a deep sing-songy voice, before jiggling the now locked door.

You, who were indeed irked for what he pulled at the bar, yelled “Cut it out Tony. You said we could go hiking.”

“And we can…after you let me fuck you silly.”

“You know if we start that you won’t wanna stop.” You reminded him as you gathered your attire for the trek.

“You have a point” He muttered. It stayed silent for a moment after that.

Feeling as though he gave up, you began to undress before slipping into your hiking gear. As you unzipped your dress, you felt the panties begin to vibrate again.

Your mouth formed into an ‘o’ shape, as you took a seat atop of your bed to spread your legs. The area between your thighs was still tingly from earlier, so the feeling instantly sent you into overdrive. You were a whimpering mess in no time “Fuck, Tony please stop!” You begged.

“I wanna hear you cum.” He rasped through the door.

“I’m gonna take them off.” You warned, lying through your teeth. The pleasure felt too damn good.

“Let me take em off for you, princess.” His words, along with the vibrations against your clit brung you to tears. Now away from unwanted listening ears, you let your moans rip through you as you writhed against the bed.

“Fuck, baby this feels so good!” You whimpered, when he increased the intensity of the vibrations. Over your mewls, you heard the clinking of a belt unbuckling, shortly followed by the unmistakable sounds of his low, yet rough grunts.

“I bet I can make you feel better.” He growled. His voice was filled with frustration, desperation, and a man-eating lust that left you drenched in your own slick.

“Oh Tony, s-shit!” You cried, voice quivering with pleasure. You felt your stomach, tighten, and your coil threaten to snap. Your walls fluttered painfully around nothing, as your head fell back. It wasn’t long after that, before your juices drenched the comforter beneath you. It was silent on the other side of the door, and you assumed he came too. Only, you couldn’t hear him trying to catch his breath like you were. It’s like he never broke a sweat.

You got up slowly, knees a little weak from your second orgasm, to clean yourself up and continue changing. You made sure to rid yourself of those wretched panties while you were at it.

When you finally opened the door, you were met with an unfazed Tony leaning against its frame. He looked as if nothing happened, despite bringing you to shambles a mere three minutes prior. He directed his attention towards you when you emerged from the room. “Its about time you finished getting ready, I still haven’t changed, yet.” He informed you, winking as he slipped past you.

Fucking bastard.

♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡

“You okay?” Tony asked, when he saw your legs give way a bit. Your previous activities still left you a bit sensitive, and as a result: unbalanced.

“I’m fine.” You assured him as you guys hiked towards the mountain range. The trail was actually within walking distance of your vacation home, so you didn’t need the car to journey through it.

“Are you sure, Y/N?” Tony questioned. His demeanor now was different from his previous one. He was so sweet when he wanted to be.

“Yes babe. Why do you ask?”

“You seem a bit clumsier than usual.”

“Well I get that way after, you know, sometimes.” You said shyly. You guys hadn’t talked about it yet.

He formed his lips to say an inaudible “oh”. “I’m sorry. I was being a horny dick earlier. Please be careful.” When he said the words, he made sure to trail behind you. If you were to fall, he felt he could catch you before any damage was done.

“I’m okay. And its okay.” You paused. “I forgive you, I can be a tease so its not entirely your fault. But thank you for doing this with me.” You smiled sweetly, looking over your shoulder.

“Of course, princess.” Tony smiled back, grinning from ear to ear.

You looked back up ahead, to continue your hike.

You guys stopped occasionally when you wanted to take pictures. Whether they were of the view, rare birds, the sea, or Tony, you clicked your camera trying to savor every single moment of the trip.

“Stop. Stop. Stop.” You said to him, halting in your tracks. “C’mere. This is the perfect spot to take a selfie together.” You came across a view through the trees that overlooked the sea. Mountains were up ahead too, and the sun hit your skin in just the right way. The whole thing just looked so aesthetically pleasing to you, you just couldn’t pass up the photo op.

When he neared you, you both positioned yourselves for the camera. Tony was only a few inches taller than you, but you still had to stand on your tippy toes to place your arm around his shoulder. In this case, you wanted to place bunny ears over his head. A combination of this, as well as holding the camera left you quite unbalanced. And as tight as Tony held onto your waist, it still wasn’t enough to keep you both from tumbling down the hill just after you heard the shutter of your camera.

♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡

He practically kicked down the door of your house when he came upon it. You were draped around his back like a monkey as he jogged you through the living area.

“Tony put me down.” You begged.

“Christ Y/N, I told you to be careful.” He reprimanded, as he placed you on your feet, pushing you down on the couch. He ran to the nearest bathroom, ransacking the contents of the medicine cabinet for a first-aid kit.

When he found all of the necessary supplies, he came rushing back to tend to your wound. If you could even call it that. It was a small bloody scrape on your kneecap, and he acted as if it needed to be amputated if he didn’t treat it soon.

“Damn it! Is alcohol better, or should I use peroxide? Fuck it, soap and water it is.” He muttered to himself. His head was all over the place as he ran to go get a small bowl of warm soapy water, returning once it was retrieved. He wanted something that would both clean the cut, but also wouldn’t cause you any pain.

Getting down to his knees, he tended to the scrape. He took your leg, tenderly into his hands, before going to work.

“Tony, I’m fine.”

He ignored you, continuing his movements with the cotton-ball. You couldn’t help but admire him as he cleaned your knee. The look of dexterity in his face was astounding. It was the same look he’d get, when he worked on a new piece of tech.

You were beginning to feel guilty. Truthfully, Tony was the one who took the worst end of the fall. He had a cut on the bridge of his nose, and one on his cheek. You even saw his shirt was damp, and a small pool of red liquid was forming underneath. Yet he remained trained on you, determined to make sure you were okay.

“Tony, you’re hurt!”

“I’m fine.” He insured.

“But Tony.”

“Baby, I need to concentrate.” He had long stopped the bleeding on your knee, patched it up, and was currently searching for any other wounds. He placed a quick kiss on your bandage. “You okay?” He asked, finally meeting your eyes.

“Yes,—”

“Does anything else hurt?”

“No, but—”

“How many fingers am I holding up?”

“None. Can I—”

“Are you feeling any shortness of breath? Nausea? Weakness? Dizziness? Chest pain? Because those are all signs of internal bleeding—”

“No, Tony. Please stop. You’re the one who’s bleeding!” It was your turn to treat him, yet he kept rambling on and on about you. You took a cotton pad and got to work on his face. That was when he began sulking.

“This is my fault.”

“No its not.”

“Yes it is. I made you clumsy.”

You chuckled at how dead serious he was. “I have a scrape on my knee, that will be gone in like ten hours. Meanwhile you have a bloody face, and a possible gash on your stomach, and you’re upset about me falling?”

“I just don’t like when you get hurt.”

“I’m fine. I’ve been trying to tell you that.” When you were done with his face, you hunched over to his stomach to patch the scrape there as well. Tony, still placed between your knees, repeated your actions from earlier, this time admiring you. When you were done treating the cut on his stomach, you tried to pull back, but he caught your wrist, trapping you in his gaze.

You two stayed like that for a moment, before he captured your lips in his. Deepening the kiss, he lifted himself up onto the couch as he did so. He pushed you back so you lay against its length, stretched out completely as he hovered above you. Removing his sweaty t-shirt over his head, he threw it across the room before attacking your lips again.

He tugged at the drawstring on your shorts, while placing wet kisses along your neck. You laced your fingers in his hair, trying to guide him to where you wanted him, but you didn’t have to do much since he knew all of your spots.

His right hand pushed your shirt up to expose your bra, before his lips traveled down your skin to lay butterfly kisses in his wake. He pushed between your thighs, draping your legs around his waist. Your breaths were coming out in labored pants, as you realized this was the moment you’ve been waiting for.

As you were moving against him, you felt an unusual amount of liquid pool to your panties. Then, your eyes which were previously glued shut, snapped open. “Shit.” You shrieked, sitting up with a quickness. It all startled Tony so much, he rolled off of the couch.

“Fuck!” He yelped, when his head collided with the floor.

“No, no, no, no, no!” Was all you repeated as you scampered away.

“Ow?” Tony groaned rubbing his head, but when he sat up to question you, he only saw your ankles as you retreated into the bathroom.

When it slammed shut, he leapt up to his feet to see what the problem was. “Y/N, open up. We can talk about this.” He said, once he reached the doorway.

“No we cant. Please don’t be mad at me, I’m so sorry.”

“Oh sweetheart, I don’t want you to feel pressured. I’m the one who’s sorry. We can wait, okay? Just come out please.”

“No Tony. It’s not that, its something else.”

“What is it?” He was met with sobbing, as you began to weep. Trying to open the door, he thought you had hurt yourself, or that he had hurt you, and was now beginning to grow even more worried. “Baby open the door, please.”

“No! You’re gonna hate me.”

“I could never hate you. Please, just tell me what’s wrong!” Tony pleaded, banging on the door.

“I just started my period” You cried, breaking out into tears. You continued for a minute, until you realized he wasn’t making any noises. “Tony?”

“I’m still here, pumpkin.” He replied, trying to soothe you.

“Are you mad at me?” You shrieked.

“Nope. I’m just thinking.” He informed you.

“About what?”

“About how much my head hurts.” He chortled. “You could have just told me, without panicking so much.”

“But I—I ruined our wedding night.” You wailed.

He scoffed at how silly you were being. “No. You didn’t. Can you come out now? I think I’ve talked to doors enough today.”

“No. I deserve to drown in my tears.”

“Y/N. You’re being ridiculous. Come out.” He demanded once more.

“No! Just go away. I wanna be alone.” You whined. And so, he did.

♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡

1 hour later

Lying in bed, wrapped up in your comforter like a burrito, you soaked the sheets with tears. You had fished out one of your emergency tampons from your purse to clean up, then grabbed a bottle of wine. You’d emerge from the covers every so often to take a sip, but then immediately plunge back under when you were done.

Tony was gone. That was bad. You knew you had told him to, but you didn’t expect him to actually listen. You weren’t being fair, but you still expected him to just read your mind like the genius he was. Like he usually did.

It was better this way. I deserve it. You thought. You thought he was pissed at you, as he should be. He had every right to be. No you couldn’t control your period coming earlier than usual, but you could have at least controlled your sour reaction. It was also your fault for constantly denying him. Yes, you wanted to take advantage of all of Kauai’s island fun, but you’d be lying if Nakia’s words didn’t ring in your head. You were nervous to give yourself to him for the first time, and that made you sort of relieved that you still had time to prepare.

You took another swig of your grown up juice, only to quickly scramble back to your cocoon when you heard the front door open and shut.

“Sweetheart.” You heard Tony faintly call from the other room. When he realized you weren’t in the place he left you, you heard his quick shuffle draw nearer. The closer he drew, the more you encapsulated yourself into the comforter. You told yourself you’d act like you were sleeping, in order to avoid facing him.

When he entered the room, he called your name again softly, as he took his stance by the side of the bed. He, despite your poor attempts, knew that you couldn’t be asleep in such a position: the heavy bedding would practically suffocate you.

“Y/N, get up. I brought you a few things.” He informed you. He was met by silence. When he nudged your side, you moaned and groaned like the undead. You heard the plastic of a bag rustle, as he poured its contents all over the bed. He untucked the cover from over your head, and got on the mattress beside you. Stroking your head lovingly, he said a “Hi”, as you reluctantly met his eyes. You peered at him through dewy lashes and puffy eyes.

He offered you a kind expression before beckoning you to “Sit up.” You did so, and that’s when you saw the arrangement of feminine hygiene products, candy, ice cream, chips and every other favorite snack of yours. But best of all, was the wine. You retreated back to your burrito, after bawling your face up with sadness. Tony heard your muffled cries through the comforter, as you sobbed out “No one’s ever bought me tampons before!”

“Well that’s sad.” He declared.

You ignored him, wailing “I don’t deserve you” as you let out the ugliest cries you’ve ever heard in your life.

“Yes you do.” He corrected you, further folding you in your blanket, before picking you up to haul you into the living room. As he threw you over his shoulder, you continued your drunken wails even as he placed you on the couch. He turned on Netflix to the show “friends”, it was something of a ritual to play it whenever you felt bad, and as soon as the theme came on, you started dry-heaving.

You shakily pulled out your unfinished bottle of wine drinking its remains, before grabbing the one Tony bought, as he glared at you like you grew another head. “And I thought I had an alcohol problem.”

“Shut-up, I’m sad.”

♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡

Almost one week later.

As the end of your vacation approached, you had been all over the island of Kauai. You experienced all of the joys of a honeymoon, save the sex.

Every morning, your husband made you breakfast in bed, and made you feel like a princess. Just like from before when you guys dated, he’d bring you flowers with a notecard attached to them on your breakfast tray.

He really made you forget that you couldn’t have sex, but then he’d remind you the second after when he placed kisses on your shoulders. After breakfast, you guys would get ready for the day ahead. You always did something new. You went kayaking, zip-lining, snorkeling, and an array of other things that you dreaded the end of.

Couples massages were the absolute worst. Every time your period came around, you were a horny mess. So it didn’t help when Tony rubbed warm oil on your back, tenderly massaging it into the skin, while whispering all of the dirty things he was gonna do to you the minute he knew you were ready. His large warm hands would travel particularly low on your back, as he worked out your kinks, pressing kisses onto your spine every now and then.

You now shivered at that memory, as you gazed at the stage in front of you. Where you were currently, was a live dinner and show. It was your last night in Kauai, and Tony wanted to make it special by bringing you to a place you begged to go, even though he cringed at the idea. Different bands played live “island” music, while couples both danced and cheered from their seats.

You and Tony were sitting at a far off table, that was mostly away from prying eyes. He was actually enjoying it more than he thought he would. He would kill you if you told his friends that though. While he was enjoying the show, you were sitting still, gazing at him, more quiet the usual.

You were trying to debate with yourself, on how to tell him your period was over. While you were happy it was gone, butterflies overturned your stomach as you realized tonight might actually be the night. Nakia’s words, still haunted you, as they tended to, and you fought yourself for refusing her pointers.

“What’s wrong baby?” Tony asked you, pulling you out of your daze. “I thought you wanted to see this show.”

You tugged at your bottom lip with your teeth before saying “I did. Its just I wanted to thank you for working so hard in order to make me happy.”

“I’d do anything to make you happy.” He said, placing a hand over your knee, giving it a tight squeeze before pulling away, turning his attention back to the show. You caught his hand, however, before it could drop.

“I have something to tell you. Promise you won’t judge me.”

Tony quirked an eyebrow as he smirked, already ready for where this was going. “I promise.” he affirmed.

“Okay.” You said, taking in a deep breath. “I wanted to make sure before I told you this, but my period is off. But before you say anything, I just wanted to ask you this: if we decide to take things further tonight, could you please just take it slow with me?”

Tony’s smile faltered, before dropping completely. He thought you were going to say you wanted more fries. “Where is this coming from?” He questioned you, upset that he made you so worried and self-conscious.

You looked down, unable to meet his eyes. You truly felt pathetic as you confessed, “I just know that you probably expect things of me. And its been so long since I’ve done this, I wonder if I even know how to please you. I just want to be enough.”

Tony sighed, placing a finger on his temple frustratedly. “Aw baby I think you need a drink.” He stated, reaching for the bottle of tequila he ordered for the table. The plan for the night, was to get drunk, act stupid, and pass out wherever the liquid took you.

He began to pour you a shot to ease your nerves, before speaking again. “Let me be clear about something” he started, the liquid splashing against the glass cup, before he sat the bottle of liquor down on the table. “I don’t expect anything from you, but your permission. Just give yourself to me, and I’ll take care of the rest. And if you wanna wait, like I said before: sex isn’t everything. I’m happy with just you. But, just tell me when you’re ready” He ordered, gazing into your soul.

You were the first to break eye contact. You sprinkled salt on the side of your hand, licking up its contents soon after. Tony drank in your movements, pupils blown with lust. You washed down your salt with tequila, wincing at the slight burn. Your wince turned into a cringe when you placed a lime wedge between your lips, its juices spilling down your chin. Pouring yourself another shot, you slammed your cup down on the table before abruptly standing up. “Okay, i’m ready.” You proclaimed, practically a new woman with this newfound liquid courage.

Tony poured himself a shot, before standing too, capturing your waist as he pressed your back firmly against the edge of the table, before lifting you to sit upon it. He pushed open your knees with his legs, bringing himself between them. You looked at him with alarm mixed with confusion. “I didn’t mean here!” You exclaimed, causing him to chuckle.

He placed a lime wedge between your teeth. “Hold that for me sweetheart” he ordered, sitting you back just far enough to sprinkle salt along your collarbone without it falling. He licked a slow stripe along the skin, where the salt sat. Picking up his shot, he threw it back, before you felt his hot breath fan your lips. As they hovered there for a moment, he rescued the lime wedge from your lips.

Not satisfied with its taste, he dropped it over your shoulder, going for your lips instead. The kiss was feverish, as his sour yet sweet tongue probed your mouth. You threw one of your hands behind your back to hold your balance, while Tony let his hands run along the length of your body. He squeezed firmly upon reaching one of your breasts, placing his other hand between your thighs. You moaned at the action, lacing your fingers in his hair in your attempts at deepening the connection.

Tony let his lips trail down your neck, right back to your collarbone, where he tasted remnants of salt. His hand that was placed on your thigh, slid closer, and closer to your entrance, before he dared to hook his fingers between the fabric.

“Sir!” A man said from behind him, violently tapping his finger on Tony’s shoulder. “You can’t do that here.”

When you two looked over his shoulder, you realized it was the same waiter from before that you traumatized early on in your trip. He was definitely done with your shit.

You both let out a chuckle, before Tony turned to you, saying “Lets go home.”

♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡

Stumbling into the house, Tony kicked the door shut before spinning you to press your back firmly against it. The two of you were desperate to show the other how much you wanted them, in one heated session. He entangled his tongue with yours, roughly making you eat his kisses. Like at the show, he broke the kiss to pepper more along your skin.

He started with your neck, sucking roughly, immediately causing purple and blue bruises to show in its wake. Then, he moved on to suck and lick at the exposed parts of your breasts. Finally, he fell to his knees bunching up your dress so it stay just above your waist, before ridding you of your panties. You tensed up as he performed the action, taking in a deep breath as he threw one of your legs over his shoulder locking it, and you in place, against the door.

Before he draped his arm over the leg that was on his shoulder, he gazed up at you, silently asking you of your permission before going any further. “Keep going, please.” You urged, and that was all the push he needed. He offered a small smile, before he attacked your entrance with his tongue.

He was usually one for foreplay, but you two had been playing that for a year now, so he wasted no time violating your nub.

You threw your head back against the door, not even bothered by the pain from the thud, as whimpers and mewls escaped your lips. You were far too focused on his slow but firm measures against your body. Tony’s arm around your leg, was in a position where he could hold you in place, and rub harsh circles around your nub at the same time.

He ran his tongue between your folds, licking up the sweet nectar you offered, while he used his other hand to let his fingers invade your insides.

Bucking and rocking against his face, the pleasure was so intense, you found yourself trying to pull away, but his strong arms held you steady. Your fingers found his hair, and you didn’t know whether you wanted to pull him closer to you, or tug him further away. He made the decision for you, burying his face deeper into your pussy.

He took the fingers he used to stretch you out and placed them at your lips, spreading them open, before replacing his thumb with his mouth, sucking harshly at your nub. Your juices dripped down his chin, as you desperately tried to hold on to something. In realization that you were slipping, Tony hooked your other leg over his shoulder, giving him more access to your opening. As you climbed further up the wall, he followed you, determined to keep you from escaping his relentless endeavors.

You were unable to form any other words besides, Tony, uttering the two syllables every other second. Moans erupted through your chest, tears streamed down your face, and your nails digged into the skin behind his neck, as you chased your orgasm. Working you through it, he licked up the trail of cum, that dripped from your cunt. He groaned against you as if you were the most delicious drink he had ever tasted.

Placing you gently down onto the ground, he chuckled when he had to catch you from falling. He swiped his thumb across his chin, before licking the remnant of your juices off the pad of the finger. He moaned at the taste, leaning in to transfer it to your lips.

He cupped the globes of your ass, as he stuck his tongue down your throat. “Taste that?” He asked between kisses.

“Yeah.” You half-whispered, trying to keep up with him.

“So fucking sweet.” He replied, in reference to your essence. He then hoisted you up so you could wrap your legs around him, before traveling through the house.

It was your turn to attack his neck as he carried you away to your room. Tony, now completely riled up stood you on your feet, as the two of you ripped away articles of each other’s clothing. He let the straps of your dress, fall as it pooled around your feet.

You were starting to feel self-conscious again, since this was the first time he had seen you so bare. While you were looking down in shame, Tony was ogling at your beauty. “Fuck.” He exclaimed. “How did I get so lucky. You’re an angel.” You smiled sheepishly at his comment, your confidence was slowly coming back. He gently pushed you, so that the back of your knees could collide with the mattress.

You climbed backwards, pushing yourself under the covers, the remaining bit of shyness making you cover yourself in shame.

Tony, eyes still remained on you, finished ridding himself of his clothes. When he was done, he lifted up the bottom of the comforter, climbing in at the foot of the bed. He made a few stops along the way, kissing at your legs, thighs, and stomach, before revealing himself from beneath the sheets. He smiled, when you giggled, placing a quick kiss to your mouth. That one turned into a deeper one, as he bit and tugged at your lips.

He placed himself at your entrance, still kissing your bare skin to ease your mind a bit. He was big, you knew that much, and it kind of made you nervous. Slowly moving forward, he pushed his tip in, teasing your opening, before stretching you completely.

You both groaned at the feeling. Him at your tight fit, and you at the feeling of him inside you completely. As he bottomed out, you released a gasp, which Tony cut off with a kiss. “Tell me when to move, princess.” He said between pecks.

You nodded your head after a moment, unable to form any words, signaling for him to move forward. Tony’s hips instinctively snapped forward at first, but then he slowed his movements on account of this being your first time with him.

Slow thrusts, turned into quick ones, as he pounded into you. Your cries and moans, and the sound of your wetness mixed with his thrusts, bounced off of the walls. You wrapped your legs around his waist, as he inserted himself in and out of you. His arms that were previously on either side of your face, collapsed as he let his lips attack the crook of your neck.

Your hands, that fisted the sheets, found his back, clawing at the flesh, as he let out growls from the sting and from the pleasure.

He picked up his pace, and the closer you got, the dirtier his words were. “Look at you taking my cock like a good girl.” He would whisper in your ear, as he drilled into you. When you would clench your walls around him, he would get nastier. “Oh you like that? You’re so fucking sexy. Are you gonna cum princess? Hmm?” He would question, cupping your jaw as he looked up to peer into your eyes.

You would just moan in response. Your body, and his, becoming drenched in sweat, tears, and who knows what other kind of liquids, as you two stuck together like glue. He became incoherent the wetter you got, and the more your walls fluttered against him, signaling your impending orgasm.

“F-fuck baby! I-i’m gonna cum!” You managed to choke out, your lower stomach spasming, as you writhed against him, placing a hand against his chest.

Tony said nothing as he slipped in and out of you, hand grasping the hand that was on his chest gripping your wrists, and placing them above your head. He didn’t have to say a word, because his face said it all. His brows were furrowed together, eyes glued shut, sweat soaking his forehead, and mouth hung open as he continued his motions in and out of you.

If he wasn’t going fast before, his pace was now brutal as he approached his orgasm too. Each stroke was a hit against your g-spot, and a graze against your clit, that had you speaking in tongues. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, the closer you came to ecstasy. Your whimpers turned into screams, as your coil snapped. Your orgasm, was Tony’s breaking point, as your pussy had a death grip against his dick. His hips stuttered, and his cock twitched inside of you, as he let out the sexiest grunt you had ever heard, spilling his seed into you.

He released his grips on your wrists, surely leaving a mark in its wake. He laid his sweaty forehead against yours for a moment, trying to gather his composure. You, too, were gasping for the same air as him.

You both still hadn’t opened your eyes yet, vision too blurry from the stars you were seeing. This man made you experience the most intense orgasm of your life.

Capturing your lips once more, Tony left a lingering kiss on you. After that, he finally let his eyes open, you followed suit. He smiled and asked, “I can’t believe you were that amazing. And you had the nerve to be worried.”

You spared some of your breath, as you let a laugh. “I didn’t even do anything. I just laid there.” You told him.

“You can just look at me, and I’ll fall to pieces.” He admitted, which made you erupt into a fit of giggles.

Still in each other’s embrace, you two recalled the entirety of your relationship, down to this very trip. You recalled the very first moment you told each other your feelings. The moment he met your friends and you his. The time Okoye threatened to kill him for almost forgetting your favorite color. The time you tripped in your wedding dress. Even the time you fell down a hill a mere 5 days ago. And he would absolutely not, let you forget the moment you burst out crying because he bought you wine and tampons.

Laughing, and blushing over some of the silliest moments in your relationship, you promised that though it was bittersweet, you were your happiest when you were with him.

“Now, that we've warmed up,” Tony started, cheeky smile forming on his lips. “Are you ready to try out some of those new toys?”

A/N: You guys should like...tell me what you think :)

#tony stark smut #tony stark x reader #tony stark x black reader #marvel imagines #tony stark fluff

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mcrmadness · 3 years

Text

Madness draws: Behind the Scenes of the Bela/Farin: “Widumihei” comic.

A few months ago I posted here this comic:

CLICK HERE for the original post about that comic where you can see it in better and bigger size, and also reblog it ;)

And this post is just a deep dive into how I plan, do and draw my comics.

Let’s start with sketchbook things...

So every comic needs a story, right? My comics usually are born from either some dialogue I imagine in my head or by an impulsive inspiration that happens when I see something or talk with people and a random idea is triggered. I’m very good at coming up with new ideas solely based on just one word or so which is why I often ask people if they have anything they would want to see/read because I suck at coming up ideas on my own. Or I do get ideas, but not as often as I’d want to.

This particular idea was very old and I have tried but I cannot find the piece that was my inspiration but it was in some of my old German books because I remember laughing at it with either my brother or even with the German teacher in 2011 or 2012. I was only able to find my first “sketch” of the story:

This is in the notebook I used for writing down some comic ideas and even had one comic in it, plus it’s also my fanfiction writing notebook. It has no date but I know for sure it was either 2011 or 2012 because that’s when I did my last Bela/Farin comic and pretty much started my (unintentional) 6 year pause from drawing altogether.

I have always been trilingual when I do these plans for my comics, often writing the “narration” in Finnish and the dialog either in English or German because I just cannot imagine them to speaking Finnish. The translation of that text goes as:

COMIC (sarjis = sarjakuva = comic book in Finnish)

1. The phone is ringing. 2. F: “Widumihei?!” B: ? 3. B: “Farin wtf?” 4. Farin walks from another room. 5. B: “Widumihei?” 6. F: “It means, “will you marry me?”“ 7. B: *wtf* REPLAY:

1. Bela is sitting/laying somewhere. 2. The phone is ringing. Reached with his hand? 3. Looks at the phone, “wtf?”, a thought: “von Jan: Widumihei?!” 4. Bela: “Farin?” / “Jan?” 5. F comes from another room, looks in from behind the door frame or something. B: “Widumihei?” 6. F: “Widumihei: “WIllst DU MIch HEiraten”“ 7. B: “WTF”

So when I then started to draw these comics again in 2018, I kept thinking about this one too and still wanted to draw it one day. If you have read the finished comic, you may notice something different in the old plot versus new: I switched Bela’s and Farin’s roles. Back then I didn’t know too much yet but over the years I have learnt much much more about them and I just figured that asking to marry him even as a joke would be too much for Farin and that it would fit Bela’s persona much much better.

***

I had a bit of problems with getting started with this one, mainly because the last times I drew a dä comic was in June 2020, in April 2020 and before those in October 2019. Because of so long time between the comics, I just always forgot about my methods and in which order I do things and what works for me the best. So every time I started to work on a comic, I had to start completely over because all I had was blank paper and I somehow needed to get my thoughts in order and out of my head, into a physical form aka as text and images on the paper, and it’s easier said than done.

So pardon me but from this on the text is going to get a little bit confusing for a little while from now on - but it’s also a very good look over how the life with my suspected ADHD be like sometimes...

I started working on the plot once again to my sketchbook... I think it was somewhere in the beginning of 2020. Because the next idea there is from the summer. This is what the plot looked like at that point - here I had already switched their roles:

Shortly, the texts go: 1. Farin is reading a book. 2. A phone makes a noise. 3. (Farin) looks at it/read the message. / 6. B appears into the doorway. / 11. F spits out the tea.

And underneath it you can see one of the stick figure storyboards I often do in order to kinda see the text in pictures better, and I will write down or draw important aspects like expressions (Farin’s eyebrows) or things like *facepalm’* or *eyeroll* so that I remember to add them.

Next I was struggling with the era. It needed to be an era with the old mobile phones with SMS options but still not too early because I feel that Farin would have not been the first in line to buy a brand new technology object, especially not when it’s a phone. I was even googling when did Germany get their first mobile phone - I remember I got my first phone aka Nokia 5510 in 2000 or 2001 after my mom got a new one and gave her old one to me, so the story shouldn’t happen too many years before the Millenium.

Originally I planned 1997 for that - I needed to think about that based on their styles because shorter hair is harder to draw. Here’s me trying out some hairs and how they’re to draw and which era would suit my needs the best. I actually find the text hilarious altho it’s mine but this is what it’s in English:

Time period -> 1996-1997? 1998 I’ve never drawn 1999 is not that much fun to draw 2000 is already a bit too late? Bela not that much fun to draw. -2001 moustaches are not fun to draw?

I think I was struggling with my thoughts because the next thing in that sketchbook is yet another storyboard:

Or actually I think this was just to see how many sheets I’d need and how many panels I could fit on one sheet.

Anyhow, I then did other things for some time before I got back to this project this year. Including finishing with the sketchbook I had been using since 2010 (and the half of it since 2018!) and I had to get myself a new one. So when I started to think about this comic again, one night I was just thinking about some Bela/Farin scenarios as usual and suddenly I just felt that I NEED to do the comic in the 1998 style!!! So suddenly we jump from the original 1997 idea to the new era, only because of the colors.

So asap I grabbed my sketchbook and started to look for the proper colors for the hairs:

This one I posted here before too as I was struggling a lot and just felt that I didn’t know how to draw, again. Sometimes when I feel like that, I start drawing with my non-dominant aka left hand because it doesn’t have all that in muscle memory so drawing and writing with it feels more free and it feels almost like pressing a refresh button in my brain. Suddenly the right one know again how to draw because left isn’t too well in control. The below part of the image is done completely with the left hand, including the coloring.

And because I had now a new sketchbook, I somehow couldn’t... deal with the plot and plans being in a different sketchbook than everything else so I had write the plot/dialog AGAIN, into this new sketchbook, along with the storyboards and everything:

Translations: kirja = book, puhelin = phone, oviaukossa = in the doorway, teet suusta = tea(s) out of a/the mouth. “Puhelin zoom” just means “close up to the phone screen” in Madness.

You can also see that I found out that I don’t need to do the stick figure storyboards to imitate a sheet when I can just draw this rectangle and smaller rectangles inside of it and write there numbers to match the things in the dialog to make it much easier for me to plan the pages. And here’s also a small easter egg: there’s 13 panels overall in this comic :D I almost did 12 but then felt that no, I really need to do 13 because, you know, the hairs, the era, the album title. And also because I like the number so much lmao.

So from there we get to the second storyboard which is not just stick figures anymore but just me planning how I want the panels to look like. To get the imagery of the rooms and facial expressions etc. out onto the paper so that I can see them in real life instead of my shady imagination that sometimes isn’t as vivid as what I could be.

Also have you ever tried to draw a beach chair? It’s more difficult than you’d think:

I tried to draw the same thing from the same reference photos so many times and still I always felt like I was trying to draw that impossible triangle or some other illusion image. And it just went on and on here:

Originally I also had planned the second panel to be a close up of the phone so that Farin’s face would be left at the background from the frog perspective. That’s what I was trying to with that weird-ass face on the left but turned out that I have never drawn these characters from such angle and I just... couldn’t see it in my head clearly enough to be able to draw it. So I dismissed that idea and that’s why the angle changed from a phone close-up to a side view to the room and at Farin.

As I was in the middle of planning the second page, I suddenly wasn’t happy with my original plot anymore. I wasn’t sure if it would work and needed to think about it one more time. So I wrote two other dialogs here, along with a storyboards for them both. I ended up choosing B from those two options eventually.

I don’t remember anymore if I had already done the first sketch of the comics or not but at some point I just felt that I no longer knew how to draw in my style. Sometimes you just draw and learn wrong things and wrong methods that you get used to and then you have to take a break and actually do a little bit of studying over your own style to find again the way how you want to draw, and get rid of the bad habits and find the good ones again. In my case it was to draw the eyes way way too big when they originally never were THAT big, so I had to learn how to draw them small and normal again. That’s why I did these, as I really needed to pay attention to the faces and remember how to draw them again:

The front-side views were another big readong for this “study” because I have drawn that perspective only once or twice before and I needed to figure out how I want to draw that. Also, I don’t know if it’s just me but for some reason the front-side Farin reminds me of one of the parent characters from this cartoon called The Rugrats which I watched as a kid. It was totally unintentional, but you can google The Rugrats if you don’t know how the charatcers looked like in the cartoon.

The things below are just me testing something. The red Farins were just to test how the colored pencils work on each other and how the fineliners work with the colored pencils, and which way is the better way to do the shading. And the red colored pencil was the only one available at the time so that had to do.

A little bit about the heads btw: You might notice some difference between the left and right faces. It’s because I have always, always struggled with drawing anything that is looking at right. Most of the animal portraits and all I have drawn so that they look at left because I just find it so much easier to draw. I think with comics it’s because I always start with the eye (and the eyebrows if I don’t forget it) and then do the forehead, nose, mouth and chin, and after that I either continue from the hair (from the front) or do the ear first. But when I am drawing them to look at right, I have to basically draw the mirror image and starting from the hair is not the key because it can easily mess up with the perspectives. I still usually draw everything in the same order but it really is difficult because I’m doing a mirror image and my own hand is on the way, too. Basically I’m drawing from right to left instead of left to right! (I think I should try drawing those with my left hand, then...)

And from here we get to the first sketch of the comic. From here on the images are from my phone’s camera so they are sometimes illegally bad but no can do, I again didn’t think I’d post these to anywhere:

Here you can see I was mainly just focusing on the shapes and the space inside those panels. Just trying to see the perspective and how everything is. The only thing that I drew more precisely was the third panel, with the hand and phone. I had quite a nice memory of old phones in my head but I still googled for some reference photos of Nokia 5110 phones as that was my first phone (as I mentioned earlier), and I also happened to have some of my other old phones on the table nearby so I took my own hand reference photos too:

They always say there’s a little bit of the artist in their art and this one literally has that - “Farin’s” hand is actually my hand! :D And I think the size is kinda on point too because this phone was like 2-3 times smaller than Nokia 5110 and I have small hands, and I believe Farin must have much bigger hands, so the 5110 probably would have looked about the same size in his hand.

After the first sketch, the next step was then - the second sketch:

I also wanted to add more action to the panels so that it’s interesting to look at and not just basically the same panel over and over again with just different speech bubbles, so I came up with the idea of Farin spitting out his tea not being as cartoony as it could be and that he would have to actually clean it up instead of just leaving it there just because in cartoons/comics everything is possible. That way I got more depth into the panels and it was also interesting for me to draw because I drew lots of new postures I have never drawn before, and I’m surprised how well it went despite me not even looking for any kind of reference photos! The only things I used reference photos for were the beach chair, and the phone in a hand. (I have actually always been quite good at drawing 3D objects and spaces, especially if they are rectangular.)

So yeah, this is the phase where everything is then finished with pencil and what follows next is drawing the lines with fineliners - I use Sakura Pigma Micron fineliners for everything else, and black Promarker for doing the lines for the panels (and also if I need bigger pitch black areas done).

Here are the panel lines done but I only had a photo of this first sheet.

And here are both sheets with the finelining done and all pencil marks etc. erased. I really like this part because it looks so clean when all those sketch marks are gone. It’s also crazy to think I literally spend hours drawing something in pencil only to erase it all away later :D

And here’s one photo of the coloring process, the first one has only the base colors done but none of the shadows yet (apart from the shirts), and the second one has some of the shadows done but not everything yet.

Usually after coloring, I will then go through everything with the fineliners one more time to make sure all the lines are dark enough as it just gives everything the finished yet a bit “sketchy” look that what I really like with my comics. The actual last detail is always adding my signature along with the date or year.

And here’s the finished comic one more time for comparison:

Don’t forget to check and reblog the actual post about this comic if you read this post all the way here. I’d appreaciate that a lot since art and artist on Tumblr are not really that much appreciated.

#mcrmadness draws #mcrmadness draws: behind the scenes #my comics #dä fanart #die ärzte

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comicteaparty · 4 years

Text

July 27th-August 2nd, 2020 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party’s Farewell Party that occurred from July 27th, 2020 to August 2nd, 2020.

Chat:

Comic Tea Party

Comic Tea Party Farewell Party

With great sadness, but also the desire to end things with a bang, welcome to Comic Tea Party’s Farewell Party! This week we’re going to have a casual hang-out with everyone in the server, ask some general questions about comics, and just try to have a good time that lets us all have one last hurrah before the server closes. So if that sounds good to you, we hope you join us.

Question Set 1 of 5 1. What has been your favorite comic to be featured by Comic Tea Party? (You can check the archives for a full list: https://comicteaparty.com/thursArchives & https://comicteaparty.com/weeklongarchives)? 2. What’s a new comic you found thanks to Comic Tea Party (or an old comic you learned to love again)?

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

1. Mine, obv. Jkjk, my actual favorite comics whose book clubs I paticipated in were Ingress, Phantomarine, and Hovergirls. And man I've found so many good comics through CTP. Phantomarine, Hovergirls. Millennium, Only in Your Dreams, Joe is Dead, Valerie... I am sure I'm forgetting some too

Wait I think I may have actually not participated in the Phantomarine one

boogeymadam

1) phantomarine and devil's tongue!! joined for phantomarine's even 2) court of roses , sunny x rain

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

1) My favorite CTP feature hands down is Heart of Keol, but I unfortunately was not here for that. I have been a fan of that comic for many years. I also really enjoyed Only In Your Dreams. 2) I found a lot of fantastic comics here! KEYSPACE: A Winged Tale, Phantomarine (although I had heard of it previously), and SunnyxRain, to name a few. I also have a whole list of comics I still need to read! (Damn you my limited time! *waves fist). Princess Pop, Wayfinders, Puppeteer, Ghost Junk Sickness, Teasday, (probably some more I'm forgetting right now ). It's truly been a pleasure speaking with you all in this server! It's a crazy feeling finding a bunch of allies in this giant overwhelming comic-making world. Thanks to everyone who participated in my bookclub or has given me a word of encouragement or helped me with my work. Seriously, before I joined CTP, I felt like I was wading through an endless, abyssal sea all by myself.

carcarchu

1. My fave comic that was featured in the bookclub was Meet and Greet. I just found it incredibly darling, unique and memorable. The art was so lovely and I just became utterly enamoured by the whimsical atmosphere it produced. 2. i started reading yu + me dream bc it was mentioned in the server a few times and i actually ended up liking it a lot more than i thought i would. the art style obviously dates it but the artistry and writing of the comic really hold up and the artist clearly knew what she was doing. also it made me nostalgic for the early days of webcomics

Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§

1. I wasn't here for it, but O'Sarilho! I loved going back to read the answers, the comic has a special place in my heart! 2. There's so MANY comics and creators i found here who's works i truly admire. It'd start to be a long as heck list, so im going to be more general about it, but the CTP was definitely a good spot for me to pick up comics and have that chance to interact with creators and find out their process/inspo, and i cherish that so much!

Miranda (Into the Swell)

1. I haven't been in the server that long, but I'd probably say Phantomarine since I was actually here for that book club. 2. Ghost Junk SIckness, Phantomarine, Ingress Adventuring Co, Teasday, Whispers of the PAst, Joe is Dead, Magefront. So so many. And they're all amazing!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

@carcarchu I think you may have seen me mention yu+me? Gosh, it's good, isn't it?? The art style may be dated in the beginning but the rest of the comic is timeless. The amount of creativity in all the art styles she used, wow. She definetly knew what she was doing. Also, brave to commit to such a plot twist. Never seen a story with this premise before!(edited)

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

1. Oh boy, there's a lot I think heart of Keol is my main contender, since I was there for the book club.

2. the folks I interacted with here, I ended up reading their comics! sunny x rain, WotP, Valerie, Reading Days, and a lot more! I dunno if I would be able to find more comics without the help of this server but I'm very thankful to be a part of it and getting to know a bulk of you here

Deo101 [Millennium]

1: I think my favorite one featured was Phantomarine ^^ being here for the book club definitely helped that, but it's also just really incredible <3 2: I've definitely found a ton of new comics here... mostly from meeting all the lovely creators, and wanting to see what they're talking about when they're gushing about the comics they love so much!

carcarchu

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) yes good writing is timeless! and i haven't actually gotten to the plot twist yet but i know of it!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

you haven't gotten to the plot twist yet?!

dude the art becomes so good

carcarchu

im still only on page 213

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

jeez no wonder you think the art style dates it!!

the author was intentionally drawing in a completely different style than her normal one the whole time

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/1e/1d/78/1e1d78ae54fa6be3d1076fbdcdcab84f.jpg https://64.media.tumblr.com/a87431cfb4e704d31c07eba9264ce979/tumblr_mve6g1D9y21qbtxv8o1_500.jpg

this is art she did before yu+me

carcarchu

oooh i totally thought that was her art style later!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i can't even imagine what it must've been like for her to keep the twist secret for so long

and all the crazyness she was going to do with her art later

this woman has truly impressive self control

eliushi [Keyspace]

A lot of my favs have been said!! I also really enjoyed Gender Slices (binged it all in two days), Desert Spell and Valerie! I love the diversity of the webcomics featured and how relatable they all are thank you again so much for running the book club!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Ohh I forgot about gender slices! Also forgot about sunnyxrain. And I did read whispers of the past and patent the sun , but i found out about both outside of ctp(edited)

did not finish (yet), but I've also read parts of teasday, hookteeth, and ghost junk sickness

OH and super galaxy knights

wow there are so many comics haha

Comic Tea Party

Question Set 2 of 5 1. What is your favorite thing about webcomics in general? 2. How did you get involved with webcomics?

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Wow I literally do not remember how I got involved with webcomics

boogeymadam

1. Stories that feel more personal and heartfelt because the creator is usually just 1 or 2 people creating it mainly because they love it. Also getting to see protagonsits and stories, and even creators i relate to a lot more than those in more main media. 2. through manga as a young teen, searching up more stories like the ones i was interested in and couldnt get enough of and finding smackjeeves and hiveworks.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

1. What is your favorite thing about webcomics in general? Creativity!! With the freedom of publishing for free, writers and artists can be so imaginative, unique, and weird! I love reading stuff that the author made with full knowledge it will only ever appeal to a small number of people

but those small number of people will adore it

carcarchu

1. I love the indie charm of webcomics. when i interact with media that passes through more hands before the audience gets to it i sometimes feel that it gets polished to the point where it loses some of its charm. though webcomics might have more flaws than works that go through stringent editing, i feel that the flaws can make it more appealing. there can be problems with the writing or the art but i find with webcomics those problems can often be overcome just by the degree of raw passion and heart on display in those works. 2. same as eight it's been so long that i don't really remember but i have to assume that i somehow ended up on smackjeeves through deviantart? a lot of the artists i liked growing up also drew comics which they either posted on dA or on smackjeeves and through there i discovered more

eliushi [Keyspace]

Totally agree about how individual and different indie webcomics read vs traditional/ mainstream. I love how each webcomic is a reflection of the creator and how many different styles and creative ways one can tell a story! I got into webcomics from reading s bunch of manga and comics back in high school and stumbled upon smackjeeves and Phoenix requiem and that was my gateway into indie works

varethane

I got involved with webcomics because some friends of my friends in high school were making one, and I thought it seemed like super cool fun and wanted to do one too. Once i started reading more webcomics, it became hard to stop; the passion and earnestness is unmatched, and the stories people can tell when not held to the guidelines of what's considered 'marketable' by some executive somewhere are so unique and engaging

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

1) My favorite thing about webcomics is their diversity. I know not every webcomic is a creator's magnum opus, or the work by which they define themselves wholeheartedly, but you see so SO much variety. No two styles are exactly the same (unless someone's trying to incite drama, I guess ) and with that fact alone, every webcomic is so, so different. 2) I got involved with making webcomics purely out of boredom at work I just wanted a project that I could call my own, so I started drawing. But I read a few back in the day, mostly by coming across them on deviantART. Most weren't super polished, but there were a few that really stood out. It was nice to see the beginnings of what would eventually explode.

Miranda (Into the Swell)

1. The variety. There’s something for everyone and there’s different styles and its fantastic. And the people that are behind them. All the creators I’ve encountered have been super chill and kind and just inspiring. 2. I’m not sure? I think I just started reading on webtoons and it was a downhill (uphill? Cuz it’s good?) spiral from there

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

1. My favorite aspect of webcomics is that the genres and art styles are so diverse. And even beyond that, the types of characters represented are so unique! And this kind of bleeds into why I got into webcomics to begin with. I was so bored of superhero comics about white men fighting supernatural entities. Those stories have their place, and I also enjoy them on occasion, but after seeing them a million times, the content gets old. I love exploring webcomics by underrepresented people. POC, LGBT+ people, women, and genres that aren't typically shown in mainstream print comics. And that's what I love so much about webcomics: the diversity, the variety, the opportunity for people to tell their stories. 2. In regards to how I started reading webcomics, I originally read a lot of manga online that didn't have official English translations at the time, and then I found out about Korean webtoons, which sparked my interest in web-based content in general. I also found a few comics because of deviantART. Mostly because I followed a lot of skilled artists, and they would post about their webcomics. I found one of my favorite comics that way, Memorabilia, and I actually remember reading Where Tangents Meet before it got picked up as a Webtoon Original, and before the artist created Siren's Lament. I started drawing webcomics in 2014 because, for the first time since I had started writing, I couldn't imagine my story through solely words. I knew I needed to tell a visual story, and now I had an outlet: webcomics.

Comic Tea Party

Question Set 3 of 5 1. Why do you think more people should read webcomics? 2. What do you like the most about the webcomic community?

eliushi [Keyspace]

I think more people should read webcomics to see how different stories can be told and the different perspectives they share outside of mainstream media. There is also the privilege to be able to interact with the creators directly and be a part of the creative/ supportive process. I love how supportive everyone is! It’s amazing to see creators create fan art/fiction for one another, commiserate the difficulties in making things from our busy lives and celebrating every step of success. I also love the readers whose comments brighten my day and whose engagement motivates me to make the story inside my head Real.

Comic Tea Party

Question Set 4 of 5 1. How do you think webcomics will have changed 10 years from now? What about 20? 2. In the long-term, how will have webcomics changed the world?

RebelVampire

Set 1 1) As the host of CTP, I think I am obligated to say they were all my favorite. So I'm just gonna go with that. 2) As for new comics, honestly, most of them. Not to say many of them I hadn't heard of before, but hearing about them and finding time to read them are two different things. CTP really allowed me to make that time. Set 2 1) My favorite thing about webcomics is mostly just that anybody can do them. You don't need to have fantastic web skills. Don't need to hunt down a publisher and get rejected 1000 times. You just sit down, do it, and post it. Not to say the doing it part is easy, but there aren't the other sorts of barriers that wouldve stopped people when I was a kid. And I think this is great because it lets more and more ppl express their creativity and have avenues to potentially get their work seen. 2) Basically 90% of my life has been composed of knowing artists and having artists as friends. And most artists I know have had interest in webcomics at one point or another (even if they never pursued it or moved on from webcomics). So for me it was just a thing that was always there based on my particular social circles.

RebelVampire

Set 3 1) I think more people should read webcomics because of two reasons. One, the more people read indie stuff, the more it helps indie artists achieve whatever it is they're trying to achieve. With the internet, I think we need to move past the days of yore where artists were basically unknown until they were dead. Cause that's sad. So reading webcomics is a way to fight that and respect the inherent humanity, effort, and work that goes into creativity. Two, there's just more availability of stories. Whether you want to read some mainstream isekai like story or just want some super niche thing that is 100% tailored to your specific tastes, webcomics probably has it. And by reading webcomics, you can complain less about how the thing you want doesn't exist and spend more time being happy. 2) What I like most about the community is just being able to see lots of different people express themselves entirely differently from each other. That and the hard work everyone puts into their work. Set 4 1) 10 years from now I think someone will have come up with a way to auto format comics to better suit the medium they're on. So page format on desktop and print and vertical scroll on mobile. Thus reading experiences will be smoother. Not to say it won't be janky, but someone somewhere out there must be toying with something like this. Further, I think we will see a rise in some automations that make certain processes easier. Also, I think we'll see a rise in comics made with 3D instead of 2D, if only for the factor of accessibility. 20 years from now, that's hard to say. However, given the rapid pace of technology, one thing I think we might see is better computer vision and translation software so sites can auto generate multiple language versions of any comic.

2) In the long-term for changing the world, I will repeat what I said earlier to a degree. They'll create a world where people don't have wait to die to be noticed, and in so doing, they'll shape people's opinions since, by and large, that is one of the purposes of stories and the experience of stories.

Miranda (Into the Swell)

Set 4: 1. I think it will span out into a much more broad selection of art. I feel like a lot of the "most popoular" webcomics all have a similar anime art style and I feel like that will change more as time goes on. 2. I think they'll continue to bring people of different walks together and just give common ground. No one will feel alone because there will be something for everyone and a community behind all of it. I think they're going to be more accessible and less gated to devices/displays that your viewing them on. And I think there will be a lot more artists in the world because of them(edited)

mariah (rainy day dreams)

Your sets 3 and 4, Rebel just -oof- right in my heart I'm really excited about the possibilities of more and better automatic translation just on the internet in general, but definitely for webcomics that would be amazing if an AI could just translate mine and everyone else's into all the languages.

mathtans

Whelp, I'm behind again.

SET 1. With the caveat that I'm behind in all my reading. It's very sad. I'm still working on 2019 here.

1. My favourite might have to go to "The Cat, The Vine and The Victory". Just a really interesting concept, enjoyed the writing, there's a yuri couple (of sorts), a person who can't speak, it somehow updated really frequently... yeah.

https://tapas.io/series/The-Cat-The-Vine-and-The-Victory

mathtans

2. Here there's too many to mention. But I'll mention a bunch anyway and apologies to those I miss: CHAMPS, Centralia 2050, 7 inch Kara, Neon Rabbit, My Dad is a Magical Girl, Super Galaxy Knights Deluxe R, Nine Twilights... and the list goes on.

SET 2.

1. Favourite thing? This will sound weird, but I guess how they're always there. Like, I can't keep up even week to week, but suddenly there's some time to binge and you can see story and art evolve as you look at the last few months all at once. Actual comics hire different writers or artists a lot of the time, and if you miss an issue it can be a pain finding it. Though I also like the point that's been made about how there's access on the creation side too. And how communities can crop up based on them.

2. How did I get involved with webcomics. Sigh. Strap in. I'm one of those weird types who came in via writing, not art. In 2011 (oh no, I'm old) I had the idea of personifying mathematical equations, where the hairstyles would relate to the graphs. But not being an artist, I basically did short writing excerpts with character headshots. (Does anyone remember Elf Only Inn? Oh no, I'm still old.)

I didn't even know what to call it, I referred to it as a "webcomic thing". I've since learned that it was basically a serial, supplemented with some author art. The art got increasingly more complex to where I would design a one panel setting to complement the writing. Then, after 3 years of doing this, I stopped, because after all the social media (I joined mainly to promote the thing) and videos and the rest I had, like, 5 readers. But I kept kind of attached to webcomic groups and chats, even though I wasn't doing a webcomic.

(Like, wasn't doing and never had been doing.)

A year later, in 2015, I relaunched the whole project as an ACTUAL 4-panel webcomic with new character designs. I think it's around then that StArt Faire and CTP were brought to my attention by Angelic Emypress. Maybe it was the following year.

That's when I really hooked more into the community and made it a point to have CTP in my calendar. I then stopped doing my own webcomic in 2018 because, despite mirroring on Tapas and trying to do guest posts and continue to promote... I still only had, like, 6 readers. Also my daughter was born. So I didn't have as much free time to devote to something no one else was really into. I did manage to keep up with CTP until it went asynchronous, but I've been kind of a ghost since. So hello to people who wonder why I'm a Hibiscus Teacup when I'm almost never around these days.

TL;DR: I got involved in webcomics because I wanted to be doing one but didn't know how (and still don't have the art skills for it), but like to try to encourage other people. Because I know what it's like when less than a dozen people are aware your comic exists.

SET 3.

1. More should read because honestly seeing this stuff digitally is how this is all going these days... actual paper comics are becoming terribly overpriced. And this way you can pay what you're able (even if that's zero) to people who are just as amazing and creative. I'll also echo Rebel in that there's lots of variety out there.

2. The webcomic community... honestly, it's a lot like the serial community in terms of boosting each other up and offering moral support, which is great and necessary. Not just in the writing but in general. And without it, I would never have had any artwork of my characters that I didn't specifically commission. Whether it was a trade initiative or in one weird case a random post to me, these were people taking the time to let me see my vision in a new way. I always posted and credited that stuff. It meant a lot.

I'll do the last couple sets this weekend, hopefully. Nice to see everyone else's thoughts up there. ^^

carcarchu

@mathtans i don't think i can agree with this point. sadly there have been plenty of webcomics i loved but when the sites imploded (smackjeeves) or they stopped paying for their website host they were lost to time forever. also a lot of artists just straight up purge their work from the internet forever from embarrassment

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

^ Me with the first several versions of my comic

mathtans

Carcarchu: That's a good point I hadn't considered. Guess I've been fortunate in that most of the ones I follow just go on indefinite hiatus at worst.

Hope the site with the CTP archives doesn't get bought out and shut down or something.

Comic Tea Party

Question Set 5 of 5 1. How can people reach you after this? 2. Final parting words?

carcarchu

1. You can usually catch me on twitter! https://twitter.com/kurumadraws 2. This is not farewell, just good-bye for now hope to see most of you again soon!

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

1. I’m always on Twitter! http://www.twitter.com/Phantomarine_ 2. Thank you so much for giving us this server. This has been such a fun place to make new friends and discuss comics. The book club for Phantomarine was one of my favorite things ever - I had an absolute blast. Thank you again for your hard work, and see you all around!

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

1. I'm at twitter and other discord servers you can see me lurking in https://twitter.com/tuyetnhip

2. Thanks for everything for the server! I hope to see the rest of you somewhere near or far on internet land

mariah (rainy day dreams)

1. You can find me on Twitter and various other discords (including my own that just opened up last week!) https://twitter.com/RainyDayMariah https://discord.gg/6S6Zsw 2. I'm very sad to be saying goodbye for now, even though I know I'll still see most of you in various corners of the internet going forward. This discord had a really special energy that I'm going to miss a lot. Just saying thank you doesn't feel like enough, but truly, thank you so much for the time we've spent together. See you in cyberspace

Miranda (Into the Swell)

1. I'm on Twitter mostly https://twitter.com/MirandaDrawss 2. Thanks for providing this awesome server! I've gotten to know so many people and had my eyes opened so much more to the world of webcomics. Thanks for inspiring me! So long, farewell, until we meet again

Nutty (Court of Roses)

1. I too am on twitter! https://twitter.com/nintendonut1 The comic also has its own discord server! https://discord.gg/Rmwe9Hv 2. Thank you so much for bringing this kind community together. Here's to us creators, wherever he head to next!

Feather J. Fern

You can find me on Twitter! https://twitter.com/FeatheryFern Thank you so much for making CTP and thank you everyone for making up the community! I hope to see you all in other communities and servers and I made so many friends here!

BadSprite

1. Hi you can find me on twitter!! https://twitter.com/BadSprite 2. I know we'll probably see each other again. But I want to thank you all for doing what you love, it's really inspiring to see so many people from so many background creating their own unique stories. So much so it got me to start making mine! Thank you for being amazing people and I hope to see you guys again soon!

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

1. I am on twitter and Instagram https://twitter.com/heidiholmeaa Instagram @heidiholmeaa 2. Thank you so much for all the hard work put into this server! I know I have not been the most active on here, but thanks for good comics to read, a good network and fun convos. I hope many of us will keep seeing each other on other servers and let us all prosper and succeed!

varethane

I, too, am primarily on twitter! https://twitter.com/varethane And on instagram as varethane1, though I don't post there very often. Thank you for running a super cool server!! I was always impressed at the depth and thoroughness of the Comic of the Week questions

eliushi [Keyspace]

It’s been a great time and I look forward to new adventures with all of you! I live in the following internet spaces: https://instagram.com/eliushi.draws?igshid=1wz4f1o191fe1 https://twitter.com/eliushi https://eliushi.weebly.com/about.html

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Set 3 1. Why do you think more people should read webcomics? I basically already said this, but webcomics offer a diverse reading experience. 2. What do you like the most about the webcomic community? Readers can actually interact with creators! It's so cool to see the barrier between readers and creators dissipate most of the time. Set 4 1. How do you think webcomics will have changed 10 years from now? What about 20? The biggest change I think we'll be seeing within the decade is that more and more comics will be put behind a paywall like Lezhin or Tapas. In 20 years? I think the internet will be pretty different then. Perhaps there will be more censorship? 2. In the long-term, how will have webcomics changed the world? I think the most immediate thing is that webcomics open the world up to discussing more topics. As webcomics enter the mainstream, discussing these things in a public setting will become more normalized.

As for where you can find me, you can find me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/CronajArt Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cronaj_art/ ArtStation: https://www.artstation.com/cronaj My webcomic server: https://discord.gg/ueWBfdp Or in a lot of other servers!

Deo101 [Millennium]

where can you find me? on twitter, mostly ^^ I think most of us are already mutuals there, but just in case it'd be nice to touch base https://twitter.com/deo_101 and I'm also on my comics discord server lots! https://discord.com/invite/jxcdKma Final parting words... this is hard. but, this has been a really wonderful community and it's been incredible to get to know you all and to learn from eachother how we have. it's truly been a blessing and I'm so grateful to rebel for this opportunity to share not only my work, but also myself with so many people! I hope that this isn't actually goodbye for us, and is just a "see you around!" As we all move forward, hopefully, side by side.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Here's my twitter!

https://twitter.com/ActuallyOctopi

Here's my comic!

https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/puppeteer/list?title_no=290620

I hope I can continue to talk to you all in a different place.

kayotics

you can also mostly find me on twitter! https://twitter.com/kayartics

shadowhood {SunnyxRain}

you can find me on twitter, instagram, or pillowfort! https://twitter.com/shadowhooddraws https://www.instagram.com/shadowhooddraws/ https://www.pillowfort.social/shadowhood

mathtans

SET 4.1: 10 years from now... I'm so bad at predictions. I can't even think properly about how different they were 10 years ago, though I suppose they are more mainstream. Perhaps there will be easier ways to archive or paper print a whole set. Hopefully also more representation from minority groups, and less concern with RL problems causing schedule hiccups. Which I guess just goes double for 20 years.

Though maybe there will be more animated webcomics, or holographic ones by then, or something.

SET 4.2: Long-term, hopefully it helps people feel more confident even if they're not the most amazing artist or anything. Also as was said by Miranda, bringing people together in terms of common ground.

SET 5.1: Reach me? I'm pretty much 'mathtans' everywhere (except on Facebook, where I'm mathstans because someone else got it there first). For social media, probably twitter's the best bet, as many others have led with. https://twitter.com/mathtans

I also have [email protected] (does anyone here remember OS-tans? ... Anyway)

SET 5.2: Parting words? Thank you. I really just stumbled my way in here, a writer who doesn't know much beyond the basics of art, and have tried to do my best to offer accolades and constructive criticism. Rebel, you have done an amazing job, don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise. There was a time when I would sometimes look at the archive of a chat just to see what the pull quote was at the top. To those who actually spent some time reading my comic, thank you too... some of the nonsense is forever immortalized in Feb 2018. https://mathtans.blogspot.com/2018/02/s9332-faire-game.html

And best of luck to everyone out there, whether you've been at this for a while like me (probably showing better results, serious) or whether you've just started out. I can only hope I've made something of a difference out there. Until the next time.

Tantz Aerine (Without Moonlight)

Oh Lord I am so behind all this, with my RL tackling me to the ground... but I'll quickly answer these too, pardon my complete lack of timing. SET 1 1. Phantomarine is the one comic I loved because I was so late to the party (pun not completely intended ) 2. Phantomarine. Gosh I feel like I missed so much of this community. SET 2 1. It's the sheer freedom to create. 2. I started making comics for my students to teach them English. Then one thing led to another... SET3 1. More people should read webcomics because they are where the hub of creation in visual arts is. Experimentation, pluralism, excitement, passion. Everything is there. People will and do benefit as well as get entertained. 2. The sheer inclusivity, diversity, and curiosity that fuels creation. Friendliness, too, when people get to know you. SET 4 1. For better or worse, webcomics are becoming responsive to the means through which they are being experienced. We will always have standard formats but new will emerge that take advantage of new technologies as they come. Vertical format is one such example. In 20 years, webcomics would have become an industry, very much like print comics did, I'd say. 2. Webcomics change the world the same way art generally does: by reflecting society back to itself, and exploring ideas. SET 5 1. You can totally find me on twitter https://twitter.com/TantzAerine and if you will be so awesome as to want to read my historical webcomic Without Moonlight, you can find it here http://www.withoutmoonlightwebcomic.com/ . I definitely hope to see you. 2. I have been of the newest members of the community and I feel like I missed a whole world of richness. Still, I am thankful for what I got, and for the care and passion of everyone who kept the Comic Tea Party going for as long as it did. Thank you, and all the best.

#ctparchive

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Ani-Gamers Interview with John-Paul

Almost to the hour a week after the online convention Anime Lockdown finished its formal programming, Ink sat down with its founder, Director of Operations John-Paul, to talk about how the con came together: aides, influences, intentions, and efforts. The virtual convention drew industry representation from Discotek, Right Stuf, Kyle Hebert, and Veronica Taylor as well as such talented panelists as Mike Toole, Evan Minto, and many others. What follows is a transcript of most of the interview. Audio of the full interview is accessible by Content Respecter members of the Ani-Gamers Patreon.

Ani-Gamers: Hello and welcome to Ani-Gamers’ interview with John Paul, director of operations for the online-only convention Anime Lockdown that took place May 1-3, 2020 via streams on Facebook, Twitch, and YouTube. JP, thanks for talking with me.

John-Paul (JP): Whaddup?!

Ani-Gamers: How’s recovery going after basically coordinating panelists and emceeing the con for three days straight?

John-Paul: You know, it’s been pretty good. It took a whiole to adjust to not having a deadline, because leading up to the convention, we took about a month to plan everything. I was spending essentially the same length of a of a con day just doing prep, and so there was like three or four 14-hour days leading up to the convention just working on graphics, working on audio clips, and all that. So not having something to do actually makes me more nervous. So I've been I've been working on music again, which has been keeping me busy.

Ani-Gamers: You said there was a virtual con before this one that helped you out in terms of building this one. Can you walk us through what kind of influence they had and how they helped you and sort of walk us through how you built this con.

John-Paul: Oh, sure. That’s been a common misconception: that a lot of people thought we were the first to do this. It's absolutely not true. I've said it and reiterated it multiple times along the way, especially because other cons helped me out in some of the planning. The two that reached out to me were On-Con and QuaranCon. On-Con, I'm not terribly familiar with the people behind it. It's a YouTuber [GeekArchaeology], and his name escapes me, but he has a YouTube channel, where he does anime news, I assume weekly, and he did this all-day convention thing at the end of March I think? It was a Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Friday was a half day. Saturday and Sunday, I don't think they were quite as long as the days we did, but they were longer days. And they helped me out in terms of like, “You need to give people more things to do than just panels. You need to be aware that technical things could happen. You need to have a variety in your programming” – things that were in the back of my mind but that were being brought to my attention as more of a priority. ‘Cause when I originally thought of this, I was like, “I'm just going to do like a day or two panels. It's going to be fine. It's going to be a bunch of people I know. Is anybody even going to apply? Probably not. It's likely just going to be doing a couple panels and then calling it a day.”

And QuaranCon helped me out with the dealers side. They ran their convention on Discord. They were the weekend before us, and they really helped us out with figuring out how to set up the Dealer's Room, the Artist Alley, different types of things that we did in Discord like different bots and stuff. Some of their staff actually came to join us and help run things. So that was really helpful, ‘cause I don't know a lot about Discord. My partner, Tony, is the one who handled most of the Discord stuff with help from QuaranCon, as well as one of one our vendors, Persephone, I think it was her boyfriend, I'm not totally sure, but he also helped us with a lot of the more advanced Discord things. I handled all the panel stuff. That's my expertise: running tech, running audio. It’s essentially like anybody that went … what you saw is what I had in my head when I first came up with this. It just got bigger in scale. Like, I always wanted to have audio only with graphic showing a PowerPoint. I always wanted to use Discord. I always wanted to have a break in between each panel. So for the most part, that never changed. I don't know, it just it just seems like the easiest way to do it. And I think I was right, because I didn’t have any huge technical problems. Webcams would’ve complicated things, and screen sharing was another thing I wanted to avoid. A few people did use screen sharing – there was maybe five panels that used screen sharing? And my hesitance to use it was vindicated a little bit; we didn’t have any huge meltdowns, but panels that had technical problems were the ones that were screen shared.

Ani-Gamers: What was it that made you take that first step in making this con? I mean, to have in your head, “I'd love to make a con” is something so completely different from, “Okay, it's time to start building this con.”

John-Paul: The first time I had the idea to do an online con was mid-March. It was like two days after I lost my job. I work in the film industry. All of the movie sets shut down on, like, March tenth-ish, and so I needed something to do. And all the cons were closing, and I posted some tweet like, “Hey, wouldn’t it be cool if there was like an online con?” One of my local cons from back in Minnesota had just announced that they weren't going to do their event, Anime Detour, and a few people reached out like, “Yeah, that's kind of cool” or “I've been to things like this” or “What if we did this type of thing” and I just kind of forgot about it for a couple weeks. And then it was the weekend that Anime Detour would have happened, which I think is the last weekend of March, and Tony and several other friends were online lamenting like, “Aw, man, we would’ve been at Detour this weekend. This is a bummer.” For some of us, that’s the only time we get to see each other – anime conventions. Like I’ve known Tony, Tony was the Director of Vendor Relations by the way, for over a decade, but only ever see each other at anime conventions, be it Anime Detour or Otakon. And that’s ‘cause even when I lived in Minnesota, he lived like two hours away. So it just didn’t make sense for us to go get a beer after work. So this was a bummer, ‘cause for some of us, that’s like the one time we get to see our friends. And I said like, “You know? I was talkin’ about it a couple weeks ago. Why don’t we just do our own con? Gimme a couple weeks. I’m gonna put something together. Let’s see where this goes.” And then I started brainstorming names. And that’s when it became real, was when I gave it a name and made a twitter account. And I think the first tweet was April 2; I just said, “Hey, I’m gonna try doing a con. Would that be cool with everybody?” And it just kind of snowballed from there.

Ani-Gamers: You said QuaranCon and On-Con took place beforehand, and like you said people tend to overlook the fact that they existed, maybe because they were just so local, but what do you think made Anime lockdown so novel?

John-Paul: I don't want to downplay what they did, because I think what they did is really important, and they definitely set the groundwork for what I did. I think the difference was just that I'm louder. I think that's honestly the only difference; I'm louder, and I posted a lot on social media. I went to QuaranCon, and it look to be very successful. I think they did a really cool thing. They did it differently. They did it in a way I wouldn't… Well I mean obviously I didn't run my event in the same way, but they were catering to a different , and I think they did so fairly successfully. But they also they advertised in different places. Their Twitter account was fairly quiet leading up to their event. I think they did most of their talking on Instagram, because QuaranConcon, from an outsider looking in, seemed to be very artist-heavy, and so I think it was a bunch of people that would normally go to an Artist Alley that wanted to set up a place where they could share their work with everyone. And if you look at the types of panels that they had, it seems to confirm that fact. They had a lot of like “How to Draw” or like “How to Style a Wig” types of panels like that. On-Con, I don't have as much familiarity with. I don't know what his Twitter presence is. I don't know what his YouTube reach is. I know that they did fairly well. They've done a second con. I don't know what the numbers were like for that, but their first con they had 150-200 people and they raised like $500 for charity, which is really awesome. We didn't align herself with a specific charity, because I wanted to encourage people to donate locally and also to shop with our vendors and tip our DJ, which in that sense I think we were very successful. Our DJ was able to pay off some of his gear. I saw him talking about that on Facebook, which makes me really happy. I don't know how much money our dealers made, but I know that some made a sizable amount

AG: I actually made it a point to at least buy one or two things from a dealer per day – just to sort of simulate that, “Hey I'm at a con. This is the time I would just be wandering through the Dealers Room. Yeah, why not?”

John-Paul: When I when I set out to do this, that was what I wanted to do. Now we didn’t have dealers in the beginning, but it was never about me emceeing a con and telling people to check out my SoundCloud. It was me providing a platform for people to share their cosplay that they now don't get to wear in public because of the shutdown, to do their panel that maybe they only get to do once a year, and to help people find more followers. ‘Cause I know for some people conventions are a great place to find an audience for, you know, maybe you've never done a panel before, and you’ve got a really cool anime blog. Well what better way to get the word out than a group of thirty people that are coming to your robot panel or whatever. But the short answer to your question is I just happen to be connected to the twittersphere. I know a lot of people. I know you. I know Mike Toole. I know Evan. So like a lot of it was, “Oh yeah, I know that guy. He's doing a thing. I want to participate.” Whereas these other people may not have had those connections. But certainly I want to make it clear that I didn't abuse those connections; I didn't reach out to anybody. They came to me of their own accord. So they just happened to see me being loud on Twitter.

Ani-Gamers: How did the voice actors get involved, ‘cause that's fairly high-profile for, no offense, someone on Twitter putting together a con. Did people reach out to the vocal talent and some of the companies like Right Stuf and Discotek?

John-Paul: I don’t take any offense to that. We’re an indie show, and and I take a lot of pride in that we’re an indie show. I think we set a fairly high bar for what the pro shows have to do now. There’s a lot of pro cons coming out, and what we pulled off, with essentially two people and a few moderators, I think is kind of outrageous.

So what I said in the previous answer is slightly misleading; I reached out to one person. I reached out to Kyle. Kyle Hebert has been a favorite voice actor of mine for a long time. He has a background in podcasting and radio. And so I thought it would be a perfect fit for doing a convention where he doesn't actually see the people that are at his panel. But other than that, everybody reached out to me on their own. Veronica reached out to me on Twitter, Discotek reached out to me through Mike Toole on Twitter, and Right Stuf submitted a panel in the same way that you did. So that was really what blew my mind every step of the way. I shared this dumb meme on Twitter: 20 days ago: “Hey, does anyone want to do an anime con? And then me when I find out who the guests are, and it’s the Pikachu surprised face.” I woke up one day to Right Stuf asking if they could do a panel and I was like, “Whoa.” And I don’t wanna play favorites, but Right Stuf and Discotek are two of my favorite anime companies, and so I was really honored that they wanted to be a part of this event.

Ani-Gamers: Make sense. They're kind of more the indie group amongst the sellers the distributors.

John-Paul: Oh yeah. One of my favorite anime of all time was a Right Stuf release: Boogiepop Phantom. And, you know, I wouldn't be here, I would presume, if I hadn't seen that show.

Ani-Gamers: I know you said Tony handled most of the Discord stuff. Was there any discussion between you and Tony about how that Discord evolved? Because it was kind of awesome. It evolved in real-time, where not only did you have like The Hall for cosplay but then you had The Showcase for more like glamour shots and professional photography-based stuff. You had a call-out to the vendors as mentioned previously but then you had that In Search Of tool, which was a fantastic way of matching vendor to need, especially in a virtual space where you can't browse tables and going through everybody's virtual Etsy store would take hours.

John-Paul: A lot of it was a collaborative effort. There were a few things that he did on his own without running it by me, which is fine, because, you know, you have to trust your team sometimes. The check-in area was very much a collaborative effort. The having the con not show up until you agree to the rules and having the vendors not show up until you agree to the waiver, that was an idea that me and him had had for a while that we just didn't know how to implement for a long time. The panel notification was something the Tony figured out how to do on his own. That was, if you emoji the panel, you would get an alert when it when it was time for that panel to come on. The hotel lobby was kind of us a few days before the con realizing that we didn't have a general area for people to talk, and so we made the Introduction the general chat. And me and him were just like, “Wouldn’t it be funny way if we had a channel you can't post in called, ‘Elevator,’ and it's just a picture that says, ‘This elevator is out of service’”? And that was just a dumb idea that we… Like there were people in the Discord as we were adding silly things like that. And then that, of course, evolved into the Johnson Wedding on Floor 34. I think I may have come up with that the day of the convention.

Ani-Gamers: It was a beautiful addition. I’m a huge fan of running gags, so all of the in-jokes with the broken elevator and the Johnson Wedding just really kinda made this home.

John-Paul: Con-Ops is fairly standard stuff. We had a Help Desk, we got that idea from QuaranCon. The Anime Lockdown Live, that was Tony’s idea to just have the Twitter re-post, which I don’t know if a lot of people used that, but I thought it was cool. Showoff cosplay and party rooms were things that I added, and then Tony had ideas on other stuff we could do in them. And I think that’s everything.

Ani-Gamers: Yeah, I saw, because I was hanging out in the Discord quite a bit, I really liked the fact that, because there were so many rooms, it was kinda emulative of a college con, where you had just enough space where people had to be separated but just kinda stayed in one place for a little while and then maybe went o a different room for a little while.

But I saw a lot of positive feedback in the Discord regarding first-time attendees, specifically those referring to physical disabilities or social anxiety or finance-related concerns. They said, “Oh, well I’ve never attended a con before. So this is my first con.” And, surprisingly, there was just this wealth of love, like “Great! Check out this!” and “What do you think about this?” And it was people being inclusive in conversations.

Ani-Gamers: How do you see events such as these as well as Anime Lockdown specifically continuing past Covid-19 pandemic? And what changes do you see, after running a convention, that might need to be made?

John-Paul: Ooh, that’s a good question. The cynical side of me thinks that a lot of these online conventions aren’t going to continue once they’re no longer a necessary thing that we’re being forced to do. That being said, I want to keep doing it because of how many people I saw say that this was their first, because live cons have never been an option for them. I think for a lot of the big cons, they're not going to have the resources to do two things. But I think the indie shows for sure. I don't know; I had a lot of fun, and I want to do it again. I can't speak for the other shows. But like there is a… I'm trying to think of all the names. I think like Comic-Con might be doing one, and there was one this past day, called like Pop Culture Expo, that had a bunch of like actors, and obviously FUNimationCon. I don't know if those are going to continue; I think that that is people doing that because they don't have a choice, which is a shame, because I do think that there is … I don't want to say a market, because we didn't charge, but I definitely think that there's a place for events like this, because all these people that can't go to Cons – why shouldn't they be allowed to get to watch panels and share their cosplay? You know? I may be not wording this the best way, but I want there to be more. Here's my prediction though with, if there is an Anime Lockdown 2021, I don't think there's going to be industry panels. I think that we got those, because industry needed a place to announce their products; that's not going to be a problem next year. Actors, I think it's still possible, but it might be a little harder because actual cons are going to be asking for them and paying for their fees and whatnot. Getting panelists I think… I think people always want to share their panels. But I do think that moving forward online cons will be different. I don't think they're going to be less fun, but I'm not expecting a, “Hey let's announce six 6 anime at, you know, Anime Lockdown 2021.” I’m fairly realistic that that was very much a lightning in a bottle situation.

Ani-Gamers: Do you think something like GoFundMe or Kickstarter might help reign in some talent in the future or some of the “higher-end programming”?

John-Paul: I think it could, but it’s very much against my core values with the convention. I made a point very early on that I didn't want to involve outside money, don't want to ask people to pay a cover, I don't want to ask people to donate so we can get a guest, I don't want to tell people to go to my Patreon. These are things that, they go against my core beliefs with creating … I don’t want to say content, because that word is now kind of being turned into a gross word, but that's just how I prefer to present my art. And that doesn't mean that other people are wrong, but I don't feel right charging people for things. So if we do get another guest, that's something that I would be handling. But I want to remain self-funded.

Ani-Gamers: That’s really cool. That’s a lot of heart right there.

John-Paul: It’s not that expensive. [laughs]

Ani-Gamers: Well, it's your time and your effort. And even though you put this whole tthing together in just about a month, the result was fantastic.

So in that entire time, or during the con itself, what was one of your most treasured moments as either staff or attendee (providing you actually had a moment to appreciate the con as an attendee at the time)?

John-Paul: I didn’t really get to go to my own convention. So there were a few highlights for me. The interview/Q&A I did with Kyle is is one of the most proudest moments of my journalistic career. I would say I'm not a professional journalist, but I've done amateur journalism, I’ve done radio. That is one of the highlights; it's one of the best things I've ever done in terms of execution I think. I think it was the best sounding panel. I think it had the most natural flow of anything I've done in terms of an interview setting. I'm very happy with how that turned out. But then from a fan side, when Veronica Taylor said she chooses me in Ash’s voice, I almost broke down in tears during the convention. That was something that I didn't expect her to do, and hearing a voice that I grew up with thank me for something was … it's not something you ever expect to encounter, so it was very, very weird. It was a very special moment. And I have a recording of that, which is kind of dope. [laughs]. Eight-hundred plus people at the Discotec panel was really awesome. That's the highest number of people that were at the entire event throughout the weekend. I think it might have been 850 total? I’m not sure on the exact numbers. [Ink’s] panel, actually, when I saw how hype the chat was getting – that was a big moment for me, when they kept copy-pasting, “BUT I HATE SPORTS ANIME!!!!!!!!.” Getting to do panels with Mark again was a great moment. Me and Mark did panels together for a decade in Minnesota, and then when I moved, that was no longer an option for me.

Ani-Gamers: That was the Criticism of Film Criticism panel?

John-Paul: Yes, and then he also did a panel on Americanization that he asked me to join him in, so that was a lot of fun. But also, as you mentioned and I've mentioned, being able to help so many people was really special – all these people saying that they've never been to a con and this is their first time and they're having fun. Watching people enjoy the rave! I didn't think that was going to work and people loved it.

Ani-Gamers: What kind of reactions did you see from that? I used it as background music myself.

John-Paul: Sure, I mean the chat was posting a lot of dance-type emojis, which I assume means that they were dancing. Some people were saying that they turned on like a strobe light in their apartment and they were dancing. A ton of people were tipping Obi-Wan [Shinobi], which was not something I expected. Because, again, “We’re not about money, let’s not blah, blah, blah…” but I was like, “Oh, yeah, he’s kinda like a vendor. So I should be saying, “Hey, just like the vendors, this is his job. This is how he makes a living, and now he's out of work. So like, if you enjoy what he does, he has donation links available.” I don't know how many people donated. He didn't tell me. But I know that he made a decent amount of money, which is great, ‘cause like, you know, when was the last time he got to play in a club? Probably two months ago? That's rough! And especially for freelancers and like performance artists, it's really hard ‘cause you don't always qualify for unemployment

Ani-Gamers: So the last question I have for you, well it’s a two-parter: a) have you ever staffed a con before?

John-Paul No.

Ani-Gamers: So now having run an entire con, when you next are able to go to a con, what will you be paying a little bit of closer attention to?

John-Paul: Ooh, so the way that I attend cons is kinda weird. I don't really go to the con, and that's kind of insane considering that I spend all this money on hotel rooms and the badges and all that. But a con for me is a time to hang out with like-minded friends that I don't live near. And so Otakon is really special to me, because, like, I don't see these people ever. I've got friends that live in Arizona. I have friends that live in D.C. I have friends that live in Minnesota. But we all go to Otakon. And so, I like to go to the dealers room a lot. That's kind of my main thing that I'll do; I'll just bum around the dealers room. Occasionally I'll go to panels, but my problem with larger conventions (and this isn't the fault of the conventions, so I don't want to paint it in that light): I don't want to wait in line to get into the panel I want to go to, and I usually want to go to the ones that you have to wait in line to go to. Which is something that I was really happy with [Anime] Lockdown is that for the very first time anybody that wanted to go to the Discotek panel got to go to the Discotek panel. Every single person that wanted to go to the Kyle Hebert panel got to go to the Kyle Hebert panel. You didn't have to wait in line for an hour and like not get to go to lunch with your friend because you're waiting to maybe get allowed in. One of the, I don’t want to say one of the worst moments, but one of the bummer moments of conventions for me was last Otakon; I showed up early to meet Studio Trigger. Me and my friend Adam, I think it was Adam, we were some of the first people there. We got in the line as soon as we could. It was still a very long line, and we were still here fairly far behind. But we showed up like 40 minutes early to wait to wait in line and then waited in line for, I don't know, it must have been an hour or two hours. I was cut off like four people before I would have gotten to go, and that is SO, so devastating. But then it's like I forget that also there's all the people behind me that also din’t get to go, and there's the person that would have been next – they didn't get to go either. And that's something that it's an unfortunate thing that happens at conventions. There's no way around that; Trigger can't meet every single fan … it's just not possible. But I really like that I was able to give an opportunity to people to go to these events and not have to worry about not getting in. So that’s kind of a long version of why I don't tend to go to panels. I like them. I want to go to the fun and exciting ones like everybody else, and so I spend more time looking at merch, hanging out with people, go to a lot of party rooms.

Ani-Gamers: Thank you very much for coming on and talking about the con, and thank you even more so for putting on the con and all the efforts. It meant a lot to a lot of people, including myself.

John-Paul: I’m happy to do it. It was a good time. It's already been a week! Which is WILD. Like right now, the con would have, I think, been over or would have been wrapping up. The week went by really fast, but I'm glad that everybody enjoyed it. I would happily do it again … just not [laughs] not for a year … not for at least six months. We have some ideas for stuff that we want to do. I haven't made anything official yet. We talked about it at closing ceremonies: maybe doing some kind of like audio zine, which could be interesting but it would rely very heavily on participation, because it's not going to be me doing features; it's going to be other people doing stuff. It’s kinda like mini-panels, and then I'd introduce each one and then put them together maybe like an hour and a half. Podcast? But I’m calling it a magazine, ‘cause that’s cooler?

Ani-Gamers: Speaking of the con being over, I keep checking in on the Discord, because I always get the notifications that there are new messages in there. When are you actually going to shut that down, or are you going to shut that down?

Jon-Paul: Well, we wanted to see how things faded away organically, which it's been … it has. I think like 300 people left on their own, which is understandable or expected. But me and Tony didn't want to cut things off, because people were still talking, and we also wanted to make sure that people had access to the vendors in case there were any issues that needed to be taken care of or things that need to be finalized. I don't know. We’ll revisit in another week. If nobody's talking, then we’ll probably shut it down. I don't know a lot about Discord. I imagine there's a way to kick people out without deleting it because I want to… Obviously for research, we want to keep it so we can see what worked and see what didn't work. You know, if we need to copy paste any features or whatever, we're going to need the archive for that. But we're letting it happen organically, because we didn’t know if all these new friends have shared contact information yet. We don’t want to cut people off.

Ani-Gamers Interview with John-Paul originally appeared on Ani-Gamers on June 19, 2020 at 4:57 PM.

By: Ink

#Anime #News #Ani-Gamers

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