#don't mind that i messed up a bit there

[daeluin]

I still think "my mind is a safe and if I keep it, then we all get rich. my body is an orphanage we take everyone in" is one of the rawest most fucked up lyrics pete has ever written that then got put into a song.

like srsly 27 is such a fucked up song, specially if you put it in the context of when folie came out

#like i don't have the words in english to explain it but??? thinking you'll get rich as long as you keep the mess in your mind locked there? #feeling like you're just a body taking people under your care? but not getting it back? feeling used in a way??? #and then patrick choose to follow it up with 'doing lines of dust and sweat off last night stage just to feel like you'??? #the parallel between drugs and having a bit of the person you want but can't have?? the recognition of the self in the other??? #like you can just inyect a person in you like a drug and be them and feel like them/happy? the I shoot the sunshine in my veins of all it??? #INSANE. THEY WERE SICK FOR DOING THIS SONG

[torchbearing]

i think carol being selfish in general is a very interesting trait to keep to her character. i also think the sapphires being a darker facet of love is very interesting (their entity IS called predator, after all), and it somehow fits very well in current-ish day lore for her.

the idea she realized she loves hal and couldn't ever have him or force him into committing so she had to move on to someone who was more available fits her in most of her attempts to "move on" from hal, but it also kind of fits pretty damn well in kylecarol.

#her brand of love is a lil twisted. love a girl that's messed up. #carol ferris #her forcing her own self to see kyle as her love so she could keep the ring... etc etc #there are bits of new guardians i still don't like and think are sloppy writing but it's not AS bad as i recall. #nox txt. #nox rambles. #mind you i haven't FINISHED new guardians yet i'm 8 issues off but it's... 3 am... so

[wastelandbabyblue]

.

#so turns out my boss doesn't have the money to hire me right now and she won't fucking talk to me #i learned this from my coworker because she told her but not me???? #and like it's fine i don't mind keeping freelance until the end of the year it's almost over anyways #but?????? she won't talk to me and i can't go to her and be like 'yeah so i know you can't hire me right now so let's keep things the same' #anyways starting to think the universe doesn't want me there because this is the 3rd time something happens right before i sign the papers #maybe i should just make something up myself and tell her to leave it be until next year at least #there's no risk of her like firing me or i guess cutting me off just because i know she's struggling with the workload with little staff #so she needs me there #sigh #my anxiety had just gotten a bit better this will mess it up again 🥲

[bluepallilworld]

Hello! Hi! Heya! Hope the day's amazing on you all!

I'm entering exam period and to make up for all the procrastinating I did during the semester, I'm not gonna be here for... a while. Probably all may and perhaps all june too :/

During this hiatus period:

-I won't post or reblog (if you see a post here, it would be on queue),

-I won't answer to comments or asks at all

-but I will still answer dms if needed or if you wanna say hi (maybe a bit late depending on what I'm doing but I'll answer) / possibility I stop answering dms at one point because I really have to study ;w;

-I will let my notifications on at first but there's a high probability I'll turn it off later

-for those who have my discord, I will still be more or less available

So see you soon everybody, this dum-dum with very bad time-management skills needs to study

Love you, miss you

#wish me good luck #I already failed a few exams on the first semester and I really want to not mess up my 2nd semester too #'m kinda really frustrated with myself about that #I should stop venting in tags uh #anyway bye everybody #I'll answer for a bit after this post but I'll enter full hiatus soon #what on earth in that pose don't mind the doodle XD

[covertblizzard]

just thinking about an au where maura and kyle move to gotham and maura and catherine work at the same restaurant and became friends so jason and kyle  meet and form a wonder girl fanclub because i mean...

#maura rayner #catherine todd #kyle rayner #jason todd #donna troy #jaykyle #this is meant to be future jaykyle #dc thoughts #mypost #i want to mess it up i think i want steph to become robin first #steph becomes spoiler (with jason and kyle's help) and then she becomes robin after she meets batman #(kyle totally thinks she should've stayed spoiler i think he would he's probably all for individuality and identity stuff) #steph starts both spoiler and robin younger than she did in canon #i'm not sure if i want jason to end up vigilante in the end or not but kyle does become gl but quite a bit later like when he's ~20 #i've also changed my mind i think catherine doesn't die #this is important to me i need an au where catherine doesn't die and gets to raise her baby boy #but anyway maura helps support catherine and they take care of her too so she sends jason back to school #jason becomes a doctor and helps out with leslie sometimes #i'm definitely not going to have steph or jason die bcos there isn't a need they don't always have to #but perhaps steph does get captured by black mask and jason becomes temporary robin because of that

[mirai-desu]

Eliza and William Moments » Series 3, Episode 2

“Good day.” “Ah! What brings you here this fine afternoon?” “Cake! Made with my own two hands.” “Wow! That, uh, that actually looks rather good. Perhaps there's a homemaker in you yet.” “No, thank you. I could think of nothing worse. That is the extent of my domestic effort, so make the most of it.” “But surely one day you hope to have family of your own to look after?” “You're teasing me, William, I won't rise to it.”

#miss scarlet and the duke #my edit: miss scarlet and the duke #my edit #msatd spoilers #I've decided to keep the latter lines for full context BUT #what she says is the 'worst' is being a homemaker #her issue is that she doesn't see how she can keep her career and also be a wife/mother #Ivy's Third Way is springing to mind tho I See The Vision even if Eliza cannot at this point #he might have been teasing at first but he's not at the end there... #I do still think we needed more than just this bit to get him to give up on Eliza (at this point) #but what's done is done and I've grown to just accept this obstacle #(plus COVID messed with filming the next two episodes ahem) #but yeah she still baked him a cake!!! #I hope she bakes him another cake that he actually gets to try (although I don't blame her for taking it away when Arabella swans in)

[victorluvsalice]

Another Game To Add To The List

So -- you guys all know that I like video games. I mean, I post on a pretty regular basis about the antics my Sims in my latest Sims 4 save file are getting up to. And you all know that I love to put my favorite characters in my favorite video games if I'm able to -- or even if I'm not. My current Sim family is my Valicer OT3; my Fallout 4 protagonist is Victor Van Dort (or as close as I can get with FO4's character creator and artstyle), and my Vampire: The Masquerade -- Bloodlines Malkavian Fledgling is Alice Liddell (I may not be able to actually reflect that with her appearance in the game, but I can sure as hell write about her adventures doing all the quests!) I have a vested interest in this sort of thing.

So -- when my friend @gaydragonwizards got me into Baldur's Gate 3, leading me to purchase the game for my birthday using the Steam gift cards my parents had gotten me, I immediately thought, "Okay, so -- Alice has VTMB, and Victor has FO4...but a certain newbie roller coaster OC does not have a game yet. And this one DOES allow you to do a custom character..." Which led to me deciding that Smiler was going to be my "Tav" in BG3! I haven't gotten very far in the game yet (I had to do an early restart to add in a mod patch that the creator was VERY SURE shouldn't be put in an existing playthrough because it fucks with XP and leveling a bit, and then recent hotfixes possibly breaking quest items made me too nervous to play for a bit), but I have gotten my Smiler set up, made it past the Nautiloid segment, and have started exploring the wilderness around the ravaged beach! Here's some shots of Smiler in the game:

Smiler's look from the character creation/level up screen! They're a half-elf with Body #2 and Head #5 because that was the combo that actually looked the most like my Smiler Sim -- have a comparison shot:

It's not a PERFECT match, but nothing was going to be -- it's pretty close, though! The hairstyle is of particular note because that is in fact one of the very first mods I picked up for this game: Alt Lae’zel Hair For Tav! None of the in-game hairstyles had the right sort of "bangs" that my Sim!Smiler sports, so I was REALLY happy to spot this on Nexus Mods to give my Tav!Smiler the right look, at least from the front. :) (And, hilariously, the mod was in fact uploaded ON MY BIRTHDAY, so I'm counting it as an inadvertent birthday present.)

Smiler's arrival on the Ravaged Beach, having just woken up from their little fall out of the Nautiloid! As you can probably guess by the outfit, I started them out as a Bard. That was the class that seemed to make the most sense for them, both from a "the roller coaster in Alton Towers is often associated with upbeat music and dancing, especially after the original Festival of Thrills and The Smiler Takeover, and bards DO get access to a good number of mind control spells" and from a "my personal take on Smiler is that they are super charismatic and want to make as many people happy as possible, and the Bard's high Charisma start combined with the Entertainer background suits that perfectly." XD However, they're not JUST a Bard these days -- thanks to the further power of mods, upon their first level-up, they became a Bard/Artificer! :D I picked that class because it has a whole sub-class dedicated to Alchemy, and one of my headcanons for my Smiler is that chemistry/alchemy (depending on the universe) is their thing. Plus it just looks like a super-cool class and mod. (And yes, I do have 5e Spells and Unlock Level Curve to enhance things further, with the appropriate patches (including ULC's patch to smooth out the weird XP valley while leveling up -- learning about THAT was what prompted me to restart so I could install it). Oh, and the exclamation mark is from Camp Event Notifications -- it's telling me that Smiler should Long Rest soon to get one of the special camp events.)

Smiler hanging out in the Wilderness camp! I came here for the first time after picking up Shadowheart, Astarion, and Gale, and was amazed at just how PRETTY the camp is. I mean, look at that waterfall over by the ruin that houses the Magic Mirror! :D Seriously, this game is gorgeous -- I've spent a decent amount of time just wandering around with the camera, admiring the scenery. XD Anyway, as you can see, Smiler picked up some new clothes -- the main outfit is some basic leather armor, dyed with the dye available in the Traveler's chest (I first dyed their starting jerkin, but hated the resultant color scheme -- I'm not wild about the red arms on this set, but at least the yellow pants and black chestpiece feel right!), while the cape and their new lute are from the Digital Deluxe content -- the "Cape Of The Red Prince" and the "Lute of the Merryweather Bard." (Hey, I got this for my birthday, I wasn't not going to get the Digital Deluxe content!) I had them give the lute a little try in-camp -- the upbeat Bard song DEFINITELY suits them. XD

And finally, Smiler with their current companions, ready to head to the nearby chapel on the beach -- Shadowheart (in some new, slightly better Sturdy Armor), Gale (in his robe and wizard hat), and Astarion (sporting more DD content, the "Bicorne of the Sea Beast" and the "Needle of the Outlaw Rogue" (the dagger on his hip)). They are indeed a motley group. XD Hopefully Smiler's 17 Charisma will allow them to talk their way out of most binds!

Now, you may be thinking at this point, "Well, this is going to spark another AU, isn't it?" And you would be -- partially correct. Allow me to explain by excerpting part of my and Squid's conversation while they were recommending mods to me and I was telling them about my plans to do Tav!Smiler:

Squid: ((though -- there is one thing that has popped into my head. with playing Smiler, obviously you can't have any of your Valicer stuff going on in BG3 by default. and do you really want to give yourself ANOTHER AU by playing as them again :P )) Me: ((Oh, that's not really a worry -- the Valicer in the Dark crew already fucking claimed the game as a potential AU ))

YUP. Much like how my brain insisted that the Alice in my Fallout of Darkness stuff be a variant of my Malkavian!Alice from Londerland Bloodlines, thanks to me getting into BG3 at the same time as my obsession with Valicer In The Dark ramped up, the AU in my head is now the VITD trio going through the game. And while it's only a partially-formed pile of shitposts as of yet, that idea PROBABLY deserves its own post...

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #smiler alton #video games #yeah I was checking various heads just to see if I could get one that just roughly matched Smiler's basic head shape #and was pleasantly surprised to see this one actually had a decent match for the rest of the features too #so yes half-elf Smiler for this world #half high elf to be specific #with the Mind Sliver cantrip thanks to 5e Spells #it's psychic damage which felt right for them #still figuring out EXACTLY how I want to play them but I figure spells focusing on psychic effects #and making people more friendly should be prioritized #stuff like the Friends cantrip and Charm Person and the like #and we'll see how the alchemy funtimes go once I get to it :D #gotta level up a bit more first! #and yes my INTENTION for this whole mess was 'don't take it too seriously Vic' #'we're just gonna play this one for fun and not worry about writing an AU for the local Smiler' #VITD Crew: 'Oh so it's free real estate' #*facepalm* why is my brain like this seriously... #queued

[gossamer-green]

from the canon art of chip, he’s the kinda white person who tans really well

it’d make sense for his torso and arms to be tanned a bit the way they’re depicted, since he’s only got the one shirt, which has to be washed at least occasionally.

he also strikes me as someone who’d notice that his legs were drastically pale in comparison to the rest of him and get self-conscious about it and spend some time intentionally sun bathing to tan them uphmm but life on the sea is busy, right? so maybe he’d just go about his duties on the ship in his undies every now and again kjdhfjksdnwould jay make fun of his legs? yeah probably :( which wouldn’t help his insecurity about them :( but that’s the whole reason he’s tanning them, so

jay seems like the kinda white person who’s too pale to really tan. she probably burns easily. maybe chip would call her sunburn karma

wait what if jay’s a freckle tanner. jay with sun freckles <3

i genuinely don’t know how people mistook lizzie for being canonically pretty dark when she 1) used to be blonde and 2) has a rosy blush?

there’s a youtuber called manesbymell who lots of people have mistaken for black and who was blonde as a kid. to me, lizzie has a natural complexion a bit deeper than hers. kinda like mell's sister, amanda, does. the kylie-rihanna skintone grizz describes her as having would come from her suntan

#jrwi #jrwi riptide #chip jrwi #jay ferin #lizzie lafayette #gossamer thoughts #this is basically just a train of thought edited to be less odd to read #started thinking about chip vs jay in the sun and then the lizzie gripes came to mind #i've seen ppl (mostly twt) complain about chip being drawn increasingly darker #whereas we don't have (accurate) art of characters described as having darker skin #and while i kinda get it i'm also like. have you seen a white person who tans really well who's spent a lot of time in the sun #They Look Like That bro #since i'm just talking in the tags now i hate the way ppl talk about lizzie bc it's so clear that to so many ppl #'poc' is synonymous with 'black' and occasionally 'and/or brown' #and being black or brown means having deep brown skin #unless a yt person's officially depicted with skin that has a bit of colour in which case it's racist bc only poc have skin like that #it's thinking in literal black and white and it's so frustrating on both a logical and personal level #i feel bad that grizz was made to feel bad about lizzie and genuinely believes he messed up with her :(( #rant over just had to get that off my chest lmao

[salsflore]

ummmm

#oh mika there is beauty in life~ look at your future! everything will be worth it in the end~ #my favorite image on this device btw ^ #cw negative #cw vent #you know where this is going. apologies my mind is a mess and i really just need to get it out because i find its better than- #-writing a semi formal email to that One (1) emotional support organization and i’m afraid to make a call so #but i just genuinely believe things would be better off if i weren’t alive. a bit of a silly thing to jump to i know but #my tuition fees aren't cheap and i'm not even that great of a student or a daughter or a sister and i- #-have no talents or remarkable feats. i’m not impressive in any way. and i hate hearing shit about how ^_^ its okay! we all have something- #-special about ourselves! for example maybe you have really good hand writing and thats good enough ~ but that doesn't work for me because- #-i have nothing. my handwriting isn't good my singing isn't good i'm not artistically gifted i don't have some random affinity for puzzles- #-i'm not charming or somehow really good at calculation or super creative or a really comforting friend i really have nothing at all #i don’t want to die. i have no plans on doing that sort of thing anytime soon— don’t misunderstand me #i just wholeheartedly believe i don’t deserve to be here anymore not because i’m not loved. i just can’t stand myself and my teenage years- #-feel so long and i'm so fragile how much longer do i have to tolerate. i'm contributing nothing. why should my family have to feed and- #-clothe a burden like me who provides nothing. why should my friends care for someone like me. i’m not really that funny or sweet or great- #-with advice giving or pretty or helpful in any way. why is it that life is genuinely easier for others. what did i do? what can i do? #how much longer must i tolerate this? would you believe me if i said i really did try to change my mindset this time? #i have no one in real life to talk to. therapists are pricey and i don’t think mine was helping me in any way anyways. she was nice though #so every night i sleep hoping i wake up somewhere else. somewhere where i'm happier and i can live all my silly fantasies where i'm a fun- #-and lovely person who has everything she wants and nothing goes wrong ever!! #how much longer must i hang onto the little things. i’m in such an exruciating amount of pain that i want to kill myself without dying? lol #everyone repeats the same stuff. get bit #i can't rely on the joy of having coffee every morning or persevere for the sake of seeing cute cats on insta. nothing will ease the burden

[thundertide]

Mini blog update: I’ve updated Kagota’s about page! This is the first of a muse list-wide update project I’m slowly working on in the background, with the aim to make them look neater, explain things more clearly, and look like less of a clustery mess. For the time being, other muses and any new ones that’re added will have the original way I had the pages set up (i.e. like Lumine’s and Aceline’s) because i already had them in progress before starting this project, but going forward, I’ll be working on updating them all, one by one, to match how I have Kagota’s set up now.

Changes of note:

There’s now a combat/constellation section! OCs like Kagota will see far more information in this section than canons because they don’t have anything to run off in game; this means she not only has a constellation breakdown, but actual attacks listed as well as a general fighting style, hopefully to make any fight threads that might happen in the future a little easier to work out, as well as sort out and trim down the other sections (misc, abilities, etc) a little. All OC based constellation artwork is made my @yoroiis and I will eternally love and thank her <3

Heraldic Tempest has been added to Kagota’s info. After doing a lot of talking and sorting things out with @yoroiis​, I’ve decided to add Kagota’s own abyssal abilities, Heraldic Tempest, to her info, especially given it’s started to make itself seen in her threads and explains why Kagota has memory and attitude issues until after the Sumeru arc. Whether or not Tempest is her own being within her or simply another aspect of Kagota is yet to be seen, and will be expanded on as we learn more of the abyss in canon. Tempest also has her own tag to reflect this.

I’ve added Starchasm Nyx/Veliona/”Seele” as the FC for when Tempest is making herself known. Additionally, Seele herself is now Kagota’s primary FC, specifically the Star Rail version of her with the HI3 version a younger Kagota; however, because there’s a lack of media to make icons from at the moment, her other two FCs in Ishtar and Rin Tohsaka will be seen more than Seele herself until I can find a means to make more.

With the combat points moved into their own section, I’ve fleshed out the misc, interests, and abilities tabs a bit more - And also given her bio a total rewrite to reflect the new info decided on! There are also mentions of her children post-Sumeru arc, as this ties in to Tempest and the previously mentioned attitude and memory issues.

The next up for this update is Cettra, so I’ll be making a note like this once I’ve got her rehauled page completed! <3

~Pom

#Out Of Poms [OOC] #Updating Pom.EXE [Blog Update] #Kag's been talked out a LOT lately to iron out things and fill in gaps in her background #So this has been in the works for a week weeks at minimum #But after sitting down quite a bit with Kasa to talk this out I decided it was time for an update #Especially since a lot of it ties in to things she has and decided on for her Childe at the same time #with each other #So Tempest's addition was a given #And explains why Kag doesn't remember things until way later on #After reading up on the abyss too we realized there was no way it wouldn't 'infect' her so to speak too given how we have them intertwined #ALSO! Please keep in mind I only play Genshin! I've never played HSR or HI3 or anything else released by MHY/HYV! #So if I have any names wrong - like Veliona/Starchasm Nyx - please let me know and I'm happy to correct them <3 #I'm running off the wiki for things like that as as interesting of a character Seele is to me #I don't want to mess up names or anything just because I didn't know the right one XD #Man I don't usually like coming up with things like attacks and constellations for my OCs because they're not canon #But I had a lot of fun with this so it stays <3 #Especially since these cons Kasa made for me are beautiful and I wanna show them off TWT <3

[journey-to-the-attic]

Sumeru archon ik and levi doing the quiz scene but ik wins despite only skimming through the devildom equivalent of the wikipedia article once, because shes the god of knowledge. Levi never stood a chance.

it's partially because of her proficiency in picking out and committing little details to memory (one could say she has a photographic one... if you get what i mean), and also partially because the conventions that tsl's story follow are weirdly similar to how the real-life heroes in teyvat tend to behave - and, of course, having been connected to irminsul and teyvat's history, ik uses that knowledge to very quickly extrapolate what she knows from the wikipedia article and give a correct answer

levi cannot help but begrudgingly concede, partially also so that he can call a truce and ask ik to predict what probably happened to the characters after the story ended. he knows he can trust her judgement so it's like having new installments even if peugeot hasn't released a new volume in ages!!

#answering asks #sunlightocean #levi listens to ik explain what she thinks the lord of shadows will do after the story and he's like 'oh he WOULD fucking say that' #simeon listens in and he's honestly kinda spooked like 'is she reading my mind??' #satan convinces ik to mess with simeon by using her extrapolation to add bits onto tsl's actual story #and try to trick simeon into thinking they actually happened and he just forgot #it works too well #ik brings up a whole made up thing that supposedly was in volume three and simeon is like #'did i write that?? i don't remember doing so but that sounds like it makes a lot of sense... and it HAS been ages so....' #little lucky grass lord ik #jtta aus

[vettelcore]

bought this expensive vegan butter thinking it'd be better for chocolate chip cookies but it's so bad. worst cookies I've made lmao

#they're too buttery #i don't know if i messed up the recipe or something but yeah. they're not it. at all. #they were supposed to be thick ones but they spread too much #whatever i don't mind that i like thin crispy cookies but my bf asked for thick ones and i wanted to try them lmao #but they're sooooooo oily wtf #the 1st batch is a disaster but the 2nd one looks a bit better #maybe i overcooked them? dk

[fortune-maiden]

Took a break from the owl to cross stitch a little giraffe :3

(Let the record state that this is the first and last time I am cross stitching on plastic ^^”)

#don't mind me having a moment #fortune's crafts #giraffe was easy and relaxing #up until I tried to backstitch a piece of felt to the back #you can clearly see how that turned out (badly) #i like patterns that have a lot of straight rows to stitch #the owl does not really have that anymore #lots of jumping around now #anyway i wanted to make this a keychain but i bought the wrong count plastic and it turned out too big for that #so it's a bookmark now I guess? #i also messed up on the counting and had to improvise on the antennas a bit ^^'' #started a row too high whoops

[carlatsukinamistolemyhamsandwich]

I do feel bad sometimes that I suspect the vast majority of you followed me for lore stuff only to then get periodically bombarded with (mostly Shin related) fanfiction. I have actually contemplated moving the fanfiction to a different blog on more than one occasion but 1) I'm concerned I would lose the roughly 10 regular readers I have and 2) I'm honestly really attached to it because it's very much a labor of love for me. Like, if you want to write fanfiction to get a lot of reader feedback do not decide to write mainly for one of the least favourite characters in a series that has a relatively small fandom to begin with.

So yeah, one of the reasons why I keep writing it and posting it here is because this is the place where I talk about how much I love Shin and when I post fanfiction, it's my way of saying "hey Shin, I love you so much that I've spent countless hours toiling away just so I can have a little more time with you. One love story with you isn't enough so I'll write as many as I can give you."

#does this make any sense at all? #I don't know honestly #please excuse me getting sappy #the problem is if I made this a strictly lore only blog I feel like it would end up absolutely soulless #because you cannot untangle my interest in DL from my feelings for Shin #he is very much the anchor that keeps me in the fandom #so if I tried to edit them out I don't actually know how long I would last #tl;dr this blog may be a bit of a mess contentwise but it's my mess and I like it #I just hope no one else minds too much

[helahyma]

Electric Callboy - HYPA HYPA Tour 2022 | FULL SHOW | Live in Ludwigsburg

Pump It

#electric callboy #nico sallach #kevin ratajczak #david friedrich #daniel haniß #pascal schillo #daniel klossek #hypa hypa tour #ludwigsburg #I hope you all don't mind that they are messed up in order a bit 😆

[noxtivagus]

hflaksdjflsdkhf

#🌙.vents #okay i shld rlly be more mindful of like my warning signs bcs talking a bit w one of my irls rn with apollo in our gc n #TIME IS REALLY NOT ON MY SIDE RIGHT NOW BUT #tmrrw i rlly want to write smth more for them bcs i think she's not rlly doing well rn n we touched on that a bit earlier but #i want to say more. i really do #usually i still manage well on my own but i'm human too n i really realize how my mood gets. like. i feel sad n all when i #don't talk to ppl for a while. #NOT THAT IT'S ANYONE'S FAULT THOUGH OKAY 😭 #wait my mind is rlly a mess rn bcs i'm both distressed n at peace right now n it's confusing but i'm #genuinely fine n i genuinely don't have resentment towards anyone even though it may seem like it. #i hate idolizing others or being too idealistic though sometimes i get caught up in it but i'm aware when i do n try to fix it? #so. from my perspective #though i try to be objective n. separate n be aware of what is subject to me #i'm aware of my own self so. i think i'm decently aware of my own friends too #like their faults n strengths but i love them as a whole n want the best for them. if that makes sense #i really don't know how to describe it right now n that incapability to word it well enough distresses me in this particular yeah but #in my head i really do know n that gives me peace at least n #I'M SORRY I'M REALLY JUST RAMBLING A LOT RN I'M DUMPING N I'M NOT THINKING TOO MUCH OF IT I CRIED A BIT N THEN #it's so hot here i don't know why i'm not turning on the fan n then sorry to my friend ily /p but my energy is low rn n #yk what i'll just do more tmrrw. but my responsibilities w school r fucking me up i think weekends shld be 3 days fr so i can rest #rlly comforts me though when i think of. the complexity of life n. how humans are like. like. more like on how #yk normal stuff abt being human like we all have struggles n i rlly love thinking of how each of us loves differently w different ppl n #how we think i want to learn of all my friends' beliefs n philosophies n ideals n i want to just understand sm okay hdfaljsdkf #i find each of them so interesting but yk personally i have struggles w actually initiating that connection bcs of anxiety n then #it's rather comforting isn't it knowing how others have their own struggles too right? but we still connect. n. yeah #but i shld sleep soon so i'll shut my thoughts off now n priv these posts later bcs i am Genuinely just rambling i'm not thinking too much #GOOD NIGHT <3 ILL FIX MY TUMBLR TMRRW 😭